Note: I updated this blog post in 2019 for clarity and additional resources.
There’s one question I come back to again and again.
When a friend comes to me with a problem, when people ask for help during my lectures, when I’m all knotted up over some disagreement….
Whatever it is, this question solves so much. Here it is:
Would you rather be right or happy?
The need to be right blocks our happiness
Tweet: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? This will set you free… @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie
The need to be right can be one of the greatest blocks to your happiness, your flow, and your relationships with other people.
We all feel this from time to time. You don’t have to be a notoriously stubborn person to fall into the trap. In fact, it can be super subtle and really sneak up on us.
- It comes up a lot when we think the people around us are wrong and we’re right. We know the truth, and they don’t.
- It can also come up when we’re determined to prove ourselves to someone else (or to the world).
- The need to be right can turn the tiniest misunderstanding into a huge fight. It can lead to all kinds of nasty things, from resentment to grudges to self-pity.
The truth is, we want to be happy! We want peace. The ego loves to block our flow with the insatiable need to be right, but we can CHOOSE happiness and let go of this need.
How let go of the need to be ‘right’
There’s a super simple way to clear the path for a better experience. You can choose to be happy and peaceful and free instead.
Watch the video or keep reading for my 3-step process to letting go of the need to be right.
Step 1: See your part
We always have our part, which could be as simple as the fact that we’re holding on to the need to be right. How have you been carrying your resentment? What is your part in this situation, and why do you need to prove that you are right?
Seeing your side of the street and taking ownership of it is the first step in getting back to peace. Once you start to take that ownership, you can say, “Okay. There’s a few parties involved. It’s not just me as the victim.”
Even if someone has seriously hurt you, staying stuck in a victim mentality does not serve you. It disempowers you and keeps you chained to judgment and anger. (For more guidance on this, see this blog post on how to release the story of victim as well as this post where I bust some myths about forgiveness.)
Step 2: Choose to be happy
Choosing happiness doesn’t mean you have to magically become happy right away. It means you’re willing to be happy. Choosing happiness is the biggest step in this process, because it’s the moment that you choose again. The moment that you choose to see the experience through the lens of happiness is the moment that you choose the right mind and you release the ego’s wrong-minded approach.
When you choose the right mind, you start to create infinite possibilities for healing, and you open up your subconscious to receive inspired guidance and intuitive ideas, which can help you release the need to be right and embrace the desire to be happy.
Step 3: Practice forgiveness daily
Be religious about this. Get into the practice of daily commitment, daily desire and daily devotion to forgiving yourself and forgiving others. Forgiveness is the pathway out of the need to be right and back to the place of happiness and peace.
A lot of times people get hung up about how to forgive. The simplicity is to want to forgive. To want to forgive the resentment you’re carrying, to want to forgive yourself for holding on, to want to forgive the experience that you’ve been replaying for months or years. The simple, sincere desire to forgive is all that you need to clear the path to set the experience in motion.
Forgiveness is a blessing for you
When you’re judging someone, no matter how justified that judgment may feel, you’re also stuck in a low-level vibration. That vibration attracts negativity into your life and limits your capacity for peace and joy. When you let go of judgment and forgive, you release yourself of that tension and trauma. You free your energy field to create a new and miraculous life.
I cannot stress this enough. Forgiveness offers YOU freedom from the bondage of judgment and hate. By unloading this emotional burden you feel lighter, happier and more peaceful. You begin vibrating at a higher frequency and attract all you want into your life.
I also want to emphasize that forgiving someone doesn’t mean you stay silent, accept abuse or keep that person in your life. Read more about forgiveness here.
Feel better fast with my FREE Judgment Detox Mini Course
In my free Judgment Detox Mini Course, I guide you through 3 core practices from my book Judgment Detox.
These video and audio lessons will help you begin to let go of judgment and find fast relief. The mini course is delivered via email and takes just a few minutes a day!
Click here for your free Judgment Detox Mini Course.
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