The Appreciation Game

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Today we’re going to play the appreciation game! I learned this tool from Abraham/Hicks book, Ask and It Is Given. I taught it recently and everyone loved it, so I knew I had to make a video about it.

This exercise is all about getting out of a negative attitude quickly. How do we shift a negative vibe within a relationship fast, and how do we elevate our energy in a quick, easy and fun way?

The simplest way to get out of a negative attitude is to focus on what you appreciate and redirect your focus onto what is working. Sometimes it just comes down to getting into the practice of speaking out loud, saying with your voice what you’re grateful for.

Tweet: Playing the appreciation game is a quick way to get out of a negative state @gabbybernstein

My husband and I do this in those times when we may be arguing over some silly thing — we reorganize it fast by going down the list of what we appreciate about one another:

“I appreciate the way you take care of me.”
“I appreciate how good of a cook you are.”

These are very simple things. But within seconds we start to feel more connected and more loving. And within minutes the entire energy within our relationship changes.

Playing the appreciation game catapults us right out of that negative zone.

You can play this game with anyone in your life. You can even do it alone, saying out loud or to yourself what you’re grateful for:

I appreciate all the people who are supporting me.
I appreciate the love that’s in my life.
I appreciate the home I have.
I appreciate the shoes on my feet.
I appreciate the meal on the table in front of me.

Going down this list every day — or several times throughout the day — is the fastest way to get out of a negative pattern, the fear-based story, or a toxic situation with a partner or a friend.

Playing the appreciation game is a quick way to get out of a negative state.

And then, once you’re in the new vibration, that’s when you can start reaching for new thoughts that you feel really great about.

Yes, I can change this pattern.
Yes, I can feel better about this relationship.
Yes, I can move forward.

Appreciation is like a bridge back to a lighthearted way of being.

Now that you know this exercise, share below! What do you appreciate about yourself, the people in your life, and what’s going on in your circumstances?

Test-drive the appreciation game today and let me know how it goes.

I hope this serves you.

Read or leave comments


  1. Thanks Gabby! Gratitude and appreciation can be fuel to start the day! 🙂

    I did white tantric in LA over the weekend, and a lot of new layers of the onion surfaced. Yesterday was a bit tough, emotionally and mentally, and today Im still a little emotionally hung over. But like you said, focusing on the little, everyday things that we can so easily take for granted can go a long way… 🙂 (also made some Yogi tea – never hurts 🙂
    Thanks 🙂
    Sat Nam

  2. I appreciate that Mondays are the hardest days and that these videos make me grateful and willing to see the positive:
    My family, my doctors monitoring some issues,
    my latest trip to see an elderly relative, the gorgeous Fall weather. And most of all, a higher power who keeps a watch and delivers blessings. Thanks for all your work, Gabby.

  3. I appreciate and am grateful for my health. I am so privileged to be alive and appreciate every breath I am able to take with ease and with comfort. I am grateful for my ability to walk, to speak, to see and to hear.

    Thank you, Gabby. I am so grateful that this video arrived at such a needed time today.

  4. Hey Gabby. Love this week’s message. I am also so appreciative of my supportive friends who rallied around me during a difficult time. Their love and support carries me everyday. But today, I am appreciative of being able to spend the day yesterday watching the NYC Marathon and feeling all the good will and energy around me. You should see it lifting up the runners. What an amazing experience, especially during these days. I appreciate that teachers like yourself, and others, have helped me focus more on the present and moments like that that carry you through the day.

    Making my way through your new book now and getting so many great tips. Thanks, Gabby.

  5. I appreciate you, Gabby, and watching this video at this time. I appreciate your calm demeanor and approach, it’s so unlike my own frenetic personality. And, yes, I appreciate my own style and personality! I appreciate the morning and the sunshine and the opportunity to start over every single day. I appreciate my tribe of friends who keep each other in a higher vibration. Thanks, Gabby!

  6. Thank you Gabby

    This just totally reinforces that: you start to see what you believe. Speak your truths Even when it’s difficult … Great tool to use with a loved one

    Thank you

    P.s. I’m so very grateful and appreciative for my mothers prayers ❤️

  7. I love this tool! I used this when my step daughter was going through her teenage years. It saved us! She thought i was crazy, but it worked!
    Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Just arrived home from working feeling rather low and your email arrived, it has helped me lighten my mood immediately. Thank you Gabby xx

  9. What is up Gabster!?

    I am grateful for everything in my life! I’m grateful for you and all light workers who spread the love! I have been on such an amazing journey and so excited for what is to come. Sure there have been a few lows, but the highs are amazing! And this really is such a great way to bring you back to those highs! Staying tuned in feels great, and only gets better!

    Specifically I appreciate the universe putting you in front of me, who put IIN in front of me, which put a new laptop in front of me(which I had asked the universe for before the IIN email and joining!!!), and a way to follow one of my many dreams! This dream being to help people learn to love cooking healthy delicious meals for themselves and investing in their well being!! Just blessings on blessings and I appreciate the fudge out of it!!

    Thank you and appreciate all! 🙂 Sat Nam!!


  10. Thank you Gabby! I needed this. I’ve been experiencing some difficult times, although I do feel gratitude every day. It can be tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel when what you see in front of you is financial hardship and what is behind you is a life of abuse. What helped me the most with this game was the addition of new thoughts. I seem to always be able to find something in my life to be grateful for but don’t always follow it with the thought pattern you suggested. I decided to write everything down. I sometimes feel like there is more power in that process for me. Thank you, you are a blessing and an inspiration.

  11. There’s many people in my life that I appreciate as well as those that are no longer a part of it. I’ve learned so much about myself through experiences with all of them. I appreciate the fact that I get to get up every morning and go to work and that I’m capable to do it.
    I’ve also learned to appreciate my bills, I used to dread them and feel stressed but without them I wouldn’t have some of the conveniences of life that so many live without.
    I could go on and on but I also want to say I appreciate you and the road you bring me down by opening up and taking my thoughts to another level. I look forward to the day when I meet you!

  12. I appreciate my loving husband who hugs me close in the morning before we get our days started. I appreciate my parents who help me figure out all of the ins and outs of adult life. I appreciate my acupuncturist who encourages me to nourish and love myself and give me herbs to help support my health. I appreciate my best friend who reaches out to me when I am struggling and shares her struggles with me. I appreciate my life coach who has literally been where I have and is teaching me the way to higher love and light. I appreciate the sweater I am wearing. I appreciate having a computer that is stylish, and functional. I appreciate my indigo yoga pant, cuz they are comfy and I love blue. I appreciate having a thermos so I can bring soup with me to school and it will still be hot when I eat it. I appreciate this reminder to step back and say thank you.

  13. This is a great game! I appreciate that I was introduced to you thru a friend, I appreciate the time I was able to spend with my friends and family this weekend, I appreciate the relationships I have with my parents and my sister, I appreciate the wonderful food that was shared with family, I appreciate the time I set aside for prayer and meditation, I appreciate the life I am living, I appreciate the love that is given to me by myself and others daily.

  14. I want to try this with my 11 year old daughter when she gets into her negative thinking-spiral. She is struggling with a skill in her gymnastics routine and although I also did gymnastics as a child and can relate to what she’s feeling, none of my ‘helpful suggestions’ are working. I know she will resist initially, but I’m hoping this can pull her out when she gets in that dark place.

    1. I really appreciate your new book Gabby, ‘The Universe Has Your Back’ and the free videos that you gave me when I bought your book. More and more I am coming to appreciate that the Cosmos/Universe is a friendly place and that Love is at the centre of all that is. Once you let go and let God/Love/The Universe take control of your life then everything becomes connected and life becomes fun. I am enjoying taking my hands off the steering wheel and letting love control all. Thank you so much for your work and yes, I am able to play the appreciation game every day. Sending love and light across the water and wishing good things for the USA from little old England!! Philip Young xxxx

        1. Thanks Gabby. I appreciate your reply. Love is the biggest and most splendid of creative forces in the universe. I have written 16 love poems each of 12 lines called ‘Letters from Love’. I would love you to see them as I think you would love them. With big love. Philip.

  15. I’m grateful that I took the time to read your book: The Universe has Your Back slowly. It gave me the time to absorb all of your teachings, and I look forward to passing them on to my clients!

  16. You are always helpful Gabby and getting better and better. I have been practive your five steps to the presence of joy and appreciation is one of them. Namaste dear one. says:

    Your videos are always helpful Gabby! They get better and better. I have been practicing your five steps to the presence of joy… and appreciation is one of them. You may never know how much you have helped me, but I send you deep gratitude and heartfelt appreciation. Love, Marian

  17. Today, I woke up with a lot of pain in my left hip. It has been 5 weeks now since I broke my hip. This morning I said to myself, with some doubt, “Will this pain ever go away. Will I get better again?”
    I felt a little sad today. So I quickly changed my thinking and thought of all of the good things and people in my life, and how I am so grateful. It is amazing how quickly those negative thoughts vanished.
    This afternoon I read your email about playing the Appreciation Game. It is so affirming that other people feel the same way and that they can benefit from refocusing on the positive.
    Thank you, Gabby.

  18. I appreciate your book, The Universe Has Your Back. It was my FIRST introduction to your work and it randomly appeared to me online. My inner voice said “Buy it” so I did and I haven’t been the same since.

    I appreciate so much in my life, but my biggest appreciation is this journey to find my connection to the universe. Every day it grows and every day I feel more and more blessed. I cannot wait to see where else it takes me!

    Thank you for all you do!

  19. Gabby. I appreciate many things in my life but right now I really appreciate you sending us these wisdom nuggets every week. Thanks for your light and your energy, for your vibe and your teachings. The appreciation game is my morning prayer, saying thank you fills your soul with happiness. I appreciate having this community. Peace and Lots of Love, Laura

  20. Gabrielle thank you for this video and the reminder of how important it is to appreciate all we have and the people in our lives. I appreciate continued your wisdom especially your new book “The Universe Has Your Back which is helping me re connect with myself and the universe. Do I guess I’m appreciating me as well Blessing

  21. I appreciate the love in my life from friends & family.
    I appreciate my husband & daughter
    I appreciate my home and the clothes on my body & shoes on my feet

  22. I appreciate this in my INBOX today!
    I appreciate the wisdom of my high vibe teachers.
    I appreciate the sunshine today.
    I appreciate the tea in front of me.
    I appreciate my computer, electricity, the internet and modern life.
    I appreciate my body for carrying me through this day.

    Thanks, Gabby! Lovin’ it! WOO!

  23. Finding YOU! I watched your talk with Lewis Howes a couple of weeks ago, I have since bought your audio and paperback book “the universe has your back” and miracle cards…my hubby and I have both been listening to your audio and our spirits are awakened! Bel xox

  24. I appreciate the amount of spiritual growth I have experienced this year, by facing and feeling the fear based feelings I have forced myself to shove down and away for so long. I feel the shift in my energy and my relationships. Still miles to go, but every day, it’s getting better.

    1. small, every day shifts will lead to major change over time! keep practicing love and you will see so many miracles! xo

  25. I have a notepad with a magnet on the back of it that I stick on the fridge. I list 4 things I’m grateful for every day. Today it reads: 1. songbird alarm clock setting 2. crumpets 3. Elliott’s smile 4. furry friends (So blessed!)

  26. I’m so grateful for these lovely autumn days, the crisp air and the sight of the leaves on the ground. It signals to me that it’s time to go inward. I love it that nature knows exactly what to do and if i listen, i know what to do as well.

  27. I appreciate flushing toilets. Anyone who has hiked in the wilderness probably understands how wonderful flushing toilets are. Love and blessings to you all

  28. Hi Gabby,

    I am greatful that today I am taking time to take care of myself and I have a very loving husband that is so supportive of my making time for me. I would like to thank you also. I feel that you have givin me the tools for me to make me important. So thank you.

  29. Hello there!

    Gabby, you have so much light in your words and so much courage in your heart, that I just simply love your way.
    I am thankful for your determination and all the love. I can Tell You that I heal myself and my heart bruises more successfuly now, that I know you and your work. I appreciate the universum for that. Thank you for being there.

    With Love, Janja

  30. I appreciate that when I looked at my emails going home from work tonight. I found this !!! I need it !! I just ask unversive to help me great out of negative mind into a postive mind. Joy not fear. Thank you !!!!

  31. i appreciate the people who love me and believe in me
    i appreciate the joy of my new home and new beginning
    i appreciate my home atm that my mum provides to me
    i appreciate my friends that call me
    i appreciate that this semester at uni is almost complete!
    i appreciate looking forward to summer break!
    i appreciate my drive to grow and not runaway.
    i appreciate my mbsr classes each week.
    i appreciate having the opportunities to walk and explore every morning.

  32. Thanks gab… seriously needed this right now. on my current journey I was feeling extremely judgemental and insecure about my video product. No its not perfect but I entirely appreciate my talents , skill set, experience , businesses I have built from the ground up and what I have to teach offer and pass on to others. This far outweighs a 4 minute video of myself that I am critical of. xxxxx

  33. I appreciate that we live in such a beautiful country, and that we have so many choices and opportunities. I am so appreciative of my home, my family, and a good job where I can make a difference in the lives of little people. I appreciate the wisdom that you have bestowed upon us Gabby you have changed our lives. Thank you.

  34. Thank you for this post… Today marks 5 years since I lost my parents. I’m 24 years old, everyday I am trying to heal while trying to find myself. Although I miss them, I appreciate the two angels I now have looking over me. I appreciate my brothers that are still with me. I appreciate my best friends that have turned into my family. I appreciate my job, my new apartment, and being able to have an income. I appreciate life.

  35. While I’m going through a bit of a tough time right now I still have lot’s to appreciate and be grateful for:
    Access to healthy wholefoods
    Love and support from friends, family and my boyfriend
    technology so I can keep in touch with all of the above (long distance is hard but thank god for skype!)
    my ability to turn negatives into positives
    platforms to share by thoughts, feelings, knowledge
    a roof over my head
    I could go on. Thanks Gabby xx

  36. Neat Gabby ! Always appreciate your strong messages…I appreciate the ability to “lighten-up” & having the hope to notice that the thoughts can subside when the emotional content changes…or vise-versa . I appreciate still having some sense of hope..!

  37. Hi Gabby,

    After having a worse year health wise,I do so appriciate that I found you.
    Your work helped me tons.Im very committed now & yesterday a thought about how I came to your books & courses,but I don’t now…I choose to see things differently I choose again in every moment with all my heart..thanks gabby

  38. Hi Gabby. Its just a few weeks since I came over your work, and i enjoy it so much. I appreciate my genes, the mix of norwegian and marrocan made me excactly the way It was supposed to be for my soul. I appreciate the loving norwegian grandparents I had, who always gave me unconditonal love and being farmers as they where, thaugt me to really love the easy living life with love for nature and animals. I appreciate my strong and positive mum, who always did the best she could with the knowledge she had at that time. I appreciate all my good female friends, my soulsister, they are my tribe. I appriciate my home, my job and my country (Norway) and the nature here SO much. I feel safe and lucky. I appreciate all the clients that shows me courage and trust to work with their shadows to heal their traumas with me. I thank you Gabby for your dedication and lovelye work. You bring me joy. Lots of love from its snowing outside <3 Namaste.

  39. Love this Gabby! Thanks. I appreciate my cosy bed and my morning walk to work listening to audiobooks-most recently yours. Thanks for all you do. Come to Australia soon xxx

  40. Thank you so much Gabby! I appreciate everything, the gift of life, my parents and school teachers for guiding me along the path of education to learn how to grow whole, my family for providing a home to live and relate, you and other spiritual teachers for the encouragement to believe in the universe……….and many more!

  41. Thank you Gabby for this video. It was just what I needed! There has been some tension at work, so I was so glad to see this when I opened my inbox today. Thank you.

  42. I appreciate your chapter on judgement in The Univers has your Back – excellent and just what I needed when I read it this morning. Thank you x

  43. Love this game. have been using this in my relation from past few years now sure how it came to life..but listening to you now reminded of this moment we started practicing it more and have found we tend to fight less and showing more compassion to each other. Love it and highly recommend it. Thank you for sharing it to all of us.

  44. I appreciate YOU! Thank you for sharing this video and reminding us to appreciate ourselves and what we have vs. what we don’t have. This video just made my day that much better.

    Thank YOU!

  45. Hey Gabby, I have been having dreams that I’m pretty sure have a spiritual meaning.

    The first I was in a world unlike anything I have ever see. There was white light coming from my hands and my hair turned blue and white (I’m brunette). I also grew way taller (I’m only 4’10).

    The second dream was a white rabbit. I was following up all throughout my dream.

    Both feel like a sign. Any ideas?

    1. Try keeping a dream journal. Since dreams and signs are so personal, the more you pay attention to them the deeper you will understand their meaning. xo!

  46. Gabby I appreciate your book The Universe Has Your Back so SO much right now!!! It’s helping me with my transition back to American life after living abroad 18-months. I appreciate that I was born an American woman with so many rights that many women across the world today don’t have. I appreciate that I got to vote today. I appreciate all the freedoms we are so blessed with.

  47. I appreciate my body, my thoughts and feelings of love, I appreciate my family, my friends, my University, my hair, my face, I appreciate my soul, I appreciate the love and the light around me, I appreciate every day of my life, I appreciate the trips and the adventures that I am about to live, I appreciate my heart, I appreciate my future, I appreciate the love of my life, I appreciate the calming rain, and the courageous wind that I can feel, that is magic. I appreciate my wishes, all of them and I appreciate my bravery.

    Thanks Gabby.
    Love you

  48. Dear Gabby, it is after the elections and I appreciate how quickly I bounced back from the shock of it, and oozed love and light on fB to my friends who did not feel that way, I appreciate the music in Starbucks now, I love coffeeshops, I appreciate that the new parking lot of the new shopping center is coming along finely and my coffee, my tea, I appreciate my son, my dear beloveds, my family back home being healthy and kicking at age over 70- 80, my aunt, my mom, my dad in heaven, creating Heaven on Earth together with teachers like you in this crazy World, the World going through a big transformation, going couple dimensions up, and these are the growing pains of it all the craziness we see, that Light and Love will prevail, my faith in this….God bless you, I love your hair, and your new energy after the storm, it is calmer, and also more present….Love, B…

  49. Gabby –
    Thank you so much for this – and all the other guidance that you have been giving me. I am currently going through a separation and am trying to shift from a contentious and anger-filled split, to one of celebration and gratitude for what we have had together. This can be difficult when someone has hurt you deeply. Today I am choosing to shift: instead of focusing on the hurt that has been caused, I will be mindful of why I am authentically grateful and I will use this to guide me away from negative vibrations and back to love. And even send my husband a soul-to-soul communication through this means.
    -I am grateful for you and the experiences we have had together
    -I am beyond grateful for the two amazing children you allowed me to fight for to bring into this world through ivf
    -I am grateful that we have been able to purchase a second home around the corner from each other so that our children will have access to both of their parents
    -I am grateful that you have taught me that just because we can’t love each other how we should as partners, that doesn’t mean that we can’t love each other as friends
    -I am grateful for your financial support while I follow my dream of becoming an interior designer
    -I am grateful for the trip that we will take as a family to show our young children China and Singapore and spend time with your family in Australia
    -I am grateful that I gave this relationship my all and through hard times, I have shown myself that I am strong
    -I am grateful for ladybugs
    -I am grateful for the New Jersey Buddhist Vihara and Meditation Centre which the universe guided me to and where I go to feel the abundant positive energy in that space
    -I am grateful that I do believe in love, dreams and living an exceptional life
    -I am grateful that I can teach my children the power of humility, positivity and how we can all make a different with the smallest acts of kindness
    Thank you, Gabby. You don’t know it, but you are guiding me so much right now.

  50. I am a newly certified health coach who is floundering a bit to get going. I know I am smart, tough and capable. I love this as a way to regroup and focus on the positive. I absolutely love your latest book, videos etc. So I am appreciative for you Gabby! You are a bright shining light! I know as slow as I am going I will work it out and get myself up and running. You are an inspiration!

  51. About a month ago I was meditating and I asked to let go of my hard, cynical exterior and to welcome vulnerability. Learning to show the person I am, and who I want to be, instead of closing her off. I had this little voice that said, “write.” And for the first time I didn’t respond with, “but I’m not a writer.” Instead I trusted the voice and made a website and I wrote. I started writing about the parts of me that I usually keep closed off, even from my own family. I knew I wanted to let that go.
    I feel so much appreciation for the trust I have learned from watching your videos.
    I wanted to step deeper into it so I bought your new book. I just finished the meditation from page 36 and as I was meditating I saw a screenshot of your website.
    I found this video and it made so much sense to me, I appreciate the journey I have started, I appreciate this process, and I appreciate the teaching. Thank you!

  52. Hey Gabby, thank YOU soooo much for speaking a couple days ago in MA. YOU are a miracle and I’ve been a follower since seeing you on Oprah in 2012. Your guided meditation CD is the best gift for everyone in this world. I’ve listened to it for years in the car and it’s changed my life. Love May Cause Miracles and the new book will arrive soon when it’s available. I was so inspired after seeing you and it gave me a renewed sense of energy & purpose and reaffirmed my motivation for continuing to be a light worker. I told many of my friends to sign up for your Monday newsletter. I love it. So happy you’ll be visiting Boston more. Please come back ASAP. There’s a lot of us in the Spirit Junkies Boston FB group that are huge fans of your work. Thank YOU for being such an inspiring, strong, bright light & leader <3

  53. I appreciate you, Gabby! I am learning about a Course in Miracles from you so much, and it is changing my life.
    I appreciate my family; I appreciate that my kids are old enough to play together on this super rainy day and I can read and hang out online and know that they are handling it.
    I appreciate my home; I appreciate being warm and dry.
    I appreciate my dogs; they are so cute and so cuddly!
    I appreciate the new opportunities that have recently been placed before me and the possibility of moving forward in a new direction with my career.

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