How to Stay Positive Around Negative People: Be a Mirror for the Light!

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Note: Updated May 2018 for clarity and additional resources

When we’re around negative people it’s very easy to be taken down by their energy. If we’re not paying attention, we can soak up their darkness without even realizing it.

If you’re an empath or if you’re highly sensitive to other people’s energetic vibrations, you may be especially prone to taking on other people’s negative energy. This practice is very important for you!

We must be mirror for the light rather than a sponge for the darkness. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

How to stay positive when people try to bring you down

In this video and post, I offer guidance on how to stay positive when people try to bring you down. The tools I share will help you avoid getting sucked into negativity. Instead, you will spread light and actually lift up others as well!

Is there a low-vibe person in your life?

Is there someone in your life who tends to be negative? Or someone you tend to be negative with? Maybe your friendship started because you both worked in a job you hated, and you bonded by venting over it. And now, months or years later, complaining and ranting is still the basis for your friendship.

Maybe there is someone in your life who is going through a tough time and is leaning toward the negative. And when you’re around them, your energetic vibration plummets. You go from positive to pissed off in minutes. We’ve all been there. We’ve been the negative person and the person who got dragged down!

I was recently in a petty, ridiculous argument with someone in my life who tends to lean negative. I honor her and I admire her, but I tend to get into negativity with her. I started to notice myself picking up the low vibes just being around her…

Be a mirror for the light

be the light judgment detox gabby bernsteinSo I stepped away from the argument and I sat in my meditation. In my meditation I started to just listen. What came forth was radical. What came forth was the message, “Be the mirror for the light rather than a sponge for the darkness.”

I heard it loud and clear. My job isn’t to soak up the negativity, fight against the negativity and create more negativity. My job is just to stay rooted in my conviction and commitment to the light.

This is your job, too. Stay grounded. Stay committed to positivity, to the truth, which is love, to the truth, which is light, the truth, which is forgiveness and compassion and non-judgment. When someone is being negative or even attacking you with their words, you don’t have to say anything at all. You don’t have to fight back.

Instead of saying something that you might regret later,  just be in the energy of the light. Trust that being positive and staying in the light will not only protect your own energy but reflect the light back to the other person as well. They will soften. Their energy will lift, if only a little bit at first. Plus, your energy toward them will change. You will see them in the light and easily forgive their negativity.

We’re all just energy beings bouncing off of each other. If we as lightworkers take on the responsibility to be the mirror for the light, we will have a much easier time dealing with the negative people in our lives.

How to be the light every day

If you have negative people in your office, just make a commitment every day to sit at your desk as a mirror for the light. Envision that you’ve got mirrors around you and the light is reflecting off you.

If your romantic partner brings negative energy home, be that mirror for the light. If you have a coworker who always complains, be a mirror for the light. If you have a friend or a loved one who always starts ranting or gossiping the minute you get together, be a mirror for the light!

gabby bernstein miracles nowI understand this isn’t always easy. It’s not something that comes naturally to us. Sometimes it does require a lot of effort and commitment and conviction. But all you need is the willingness. Start to practice it. Get into the habit of being the light. Check out my book Miracles Now for lots of fast, easy ways to protect your energy and raise your vibration.

Leave me a comment below. Let me know what comes up for you. Let me know the challenges and let me know the miracles.

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118 COMMENTS

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  1. Thanks so much Gabby. I’ve had a friend that has become more negative and low vibes. I know she has a lot going on in her life. I’ve been taking her negativity personally and have not reacted well to her. I now know what to do.

  2. Thanks for this, Gabby! I’m struggling with my manager in my workplace who is a true pessimist and constant complainer. I try to keep my light as bright as possible and not engage when she is voicing her negativity and making issues out of non-issues– however it’s has not gotten better. What would you suggest in this situation, at this point it is making me unhappy at my workplace as well. Thank you xx

    1. Keep shining your bright light Layla! When things feel stuck, shift the energy. While you can’t change your manager’s behavior, you can shift your own. Listen to what she has to say but don’t take on the negative vibes. Instead make a list of everything you appreciate about your job, even the small things. Focusing on gratitude will help you stay grounded, feel protected, and know that you’re doing an awesome job. <3

    2. Doesn’t matter what I do – I feel judged by people like you for my mistakes and even though I take ownership of them – I still feel judged. There is one person in the past who energetically used to attack me. It was a horrible nightmare! To this day she has a huge vendetta against me and I can’t even bring myself to try to resolve it because she verbally threatens people and I’m afraid if I try communicating she’ll assault my energy again. People don’t understand that when that happens to a sexual trauma survivor, it feels like you’ve been raped. I’ve been a loyal fan for years, but can’t get your support. And I don’t even know why I think I need it.

      1. Thank you for your honest share, Michelle. Showing up and sharing here is a sign that you’re willing to experience meaningful change. If you’re not already doing so, we would recommend seeing a therapist, perhaps one that specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is a wonderful action in self-care. Gabby shares that she would not be where she is right now if it weren’t for her therapist. You may also find it useful to attend a support group for survivors of sexual assault.
        In the meantime, you may also want to check out these blog posts:
        https://gabbybernstein.com/compassion-blog/
        https://gabbybernstein.com/be-more-resilient/
        https://gabbybernstein.com/mental-health/
        Sending you big love as you continue on your healing journey.
        xoxo

  3. Thank you Gabby! I SO needed to hear this today. I am REALLY struggling with a family member who has mental health issues aswell as an addiction. I’ve managed to be consistent in my positivity for the past few weeks until today. I snapped when they phoned moaning. I was horrible. I did witness it though (been watching SO many of the backdated miracle membership videos this past few days) and I realized as soon as I hung up. So instead of phoning back I texted this person, saying how much they are loved and that I’m sorry. They just caught me at a bad time, feeling poorly and I had no patience. I then went on to tell them how I have faith in them that they can beat this addiction. I reminded them to read Gabby’s books. (I’ve bough them the set, but sent them home with two.) I reminded them that Gabby’s book had helped before and it was the key to turning this around again.
    However, since I spoke to them a little part of me was still feeling guilty, not knowing how to be positive when they’re so negative, and really exhausting to deal with at times. Then I saw your blog. So I thank you Gabby! Yet again you’ve shared exactly what was needed.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m gonna do my best to follow your advice. xxxxx

    1. Wow. I honor you for doing the work and looking for the spiritual solution. This is a testament to how much the Universe supports us. Stick with your practice. You are the light.

  4. Hi Gabby! I would really appreciate your advice about a situation at work. My boss of several years resigned, and I cried. I remained in my office the majority of the day and cried. Then I was told that it was a foolish, unprofessional, and abnormal behavior. That I made it all about me. Is it not ok to cry at work?

  5. Hey Gabby
    After a recent disagreement with my younger brother (who is currently in a dark place) I felt guided to your website and found this video. Yesterday I was being drawn into his negativity and wanting to fight back. Today I commit to responding with love and being the mirror that reflects the light. Thank you for your guidance xo

  6. I watched this video before but needed to watch it again to remind myself of the way to shift into a place of love. I find myself wondering if there is a balance between shifting to a reflection of light and standing up for yourself? I believe that you teach people how to treat you, so putting my foot down seems sometimes necessary. However, it puts me in a space that is not natural and comfortable for me. I will try harder to be a mirror for light.

  7. Dearest Gabby,
    First I wanted to thank u as I needed to hear this and am just write it down On post it’s everywhere 😉
    I have a family member who insuates my fiancé and I dog friendly home is to blame for a tick being on their child’s head which They found 5 days after being at our home… How can I be the mirror here?

  8. Hi, I wanted to say thank you for your site, Ive definitely been through my dark times and paths, I had once looked into this before and tried it and now this looks like the time to try again.

    Thank you

  9. Thanks for the advice Gabby! I have been struggling of late with the intense negativity that is in my workplace. It makes me dread going to work and leaves me exhausted at the end of the work day, unable to do much in my home life. All in all, it’s not working! I think there are times when I get too sucked into the negativity and am not quick enough to recognize it when it’s affecting me. The video was great and I will endeavor to reflect life everywhere! Do you have any thoughts on being more in-tune with my body and my energy to see these moments and allow myself time to react to them with a positive attitude?

    Thanks again, love your vlog, blog, books, etc.!

    Namaste,
    Regina

  10. Wonderful video Gabby. Good timing for me I recently had a post about releasing negativity and have a webinar about it next week. This was a great reminder for me to hear as I am working on sharing that same message. Thank you

  11. Also don’t allow people to stay in victim mode. If someone is playing the victim, call them on it! Sometimes tough love is exactly what someone needs.

  12. There is no such thing as energy vampires. We all create our own realities so if you feel that someone is sucking your energy it is because YOU are allowing it. You’re passing the buck if you think any other way.

    If you feel that you are getting drawn into petty arguments and getting upset then take responsibility for your feelings, open your awareness and see why it is affecting you. Why are you entangling yourself with them? If you are truly grounded and rooted in your own power then you can go anywhere and do anything and not be affected by any situation or person.

  13. This was timed perfectly. I’m currently facing a boss who is so negative, tired and run down that within minutes of arriving at work I feel sucked up by her energy. She drains me of any positive light or energy and it’s absolutely EXHAUSTING being around her, even when I set up my bubble and commit to being the light for her. I try and demonstrate in my own way, set an example of gratitude, of taking steps to make things better but she seems hell bent on burning herself out and has an answer (always negative) for every suggestion or piece of advice or encouragement I give.

    It’s so so hard in these instances to continue to be the mirror. It’s exhausting and draining. I’m no stranger to hard work and I by no means quit easily but I’m beginning to find it incredibly difficult to tolerate and be the light in this situation.

    I have some compassion, in that I know she is stressed, tired and to some extent she is suffering and using being busy as a way to avoid uncomfortable or difficult issues I know she has. She is also an advocate of busy/tired/exhausted = success (I am so tempted to give her Arianna’s ‘Thrive’). But lordy it’s hard to remember that compassion sometimes when she isn’t willing to help herself, she isn’t willing to see the light that is right infront of her.

    Sorry to rant! I think this just shows how much she is really getting up in my grill and how much of a test this is for me. I’m trying to see it as a test of my compassion, my light, my strength, my patience and my commitment to this path, but it’s not easy trying to stop myself getting sucked up by it!

  14. I OFTEN THINK ABOUT THE WAY I SHOWED MY BODY THE HIGHEST FORM OF RESPECT WHILE I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY CHILDREN. BECAUSE I WAS CARRYING SUCH PRECIOUS CARGO & MY HABITS, ESPECIALLY AROUND EATING, WOULD DIRECTLY TRANSCEND TO THEIR HEALTH & WELLBEING- I CUT OUT SUGAR, CAFFEINE & PROCESSED FOODS COMPLETELY. AFTER WATCHING THIS VIDEO & THINKING ABOUT IT QUITE A BIT I’VE REALIZED MY EATING HABITS NOW, WITH MY CHILDREN OUTSIDE OF MY BODY ARE JUST AS, IF NOT MORE IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE CORRELATION BETWEEN MY EATING HABITS & THEM ARE STILL THERE. MY CHOICES INFLUENCE MY MOOD & ENEGY LEVELS, WHICH AFFECT THEIR INTERACTIONS WITH ME! IT ALSO TEACHES THEM POOR HABITS. BEFORE THIS BREAK THROUGH I WOULD HAVE SAID I WAS DOING MY ABSOLUTE BEST WITH CHILDREN & IT JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW SHIFTS CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING FOR THE BETTER. EXCITED TO GET ON MY JOURNEY TO CLEAN EATING & HEALTH. CHEERS GABBY, THANK YOU <3

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