The Spiritual Method for Making Decisions You Feel Good About

share this post:

share this post:

Do you struggle when it comes to making decisions?

There are two ways this struggle tends to show up.

The first way is the kind of classic indecisive behavior. You go back and forth over the options, overanalyze, make lists of pros and cons, and ask a million people for their opinions before you decide on something.

Tweet: There is an intuitive approach to decision making that’s available to us all the time. All we have to do is tune in to it. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

The other way this struggle shows up is when you get impulsive. You want to get something locked down, so you decide too fast. Instead of asking a million people, you don’t even really ask yourself.

As we grow spiritually, we begin to recognize that there’s a much better way. There is an intuitive approach to decision making that’s available to us all the time. All we have to do is tune in to it.

Why we struggle when making decisions

Before we jump into the solutions, let’s make sure we have a good understanding of what blocks us from easily making decisions that we feel good about.

Ultimately, the reason we struggle to make decisions easily and confidently is because we’ve cut ourselves off from the loving guidance of the Universe.

No matter how deeply we meditate or how intently we pray, we can still feel disconnected from the Universe. So often our logical mind can get in the way of our intuition. We need to have a clear connection to the Universe in order to feel ease around decision making.

When we don’t have that connection, we try to force an answer. When we put this kind of pressure on ourselves, we block intuitive messages and signs. We block the voice of inspiration that always has the perfect, divine answer of the highest good for all.

So how do we know that we’re receiving divine, intuitive guidance and not a fearful, ego-minded message?

How to tell the difference between your ego and your intuition

the universe is conspiring to bring me toward the energy of love gabby bernstein card deckThis is a question I get asked at every single talk I give. It’s a very good one, because it’s essential to be able to distinguish between your ego and the voice of love. You might call that voice of love your inner guidance, your ~ing, your intuition. Or you might call it God, the Universe, Source, Spirit, love. As I always say, use whatever term resonates with you.

So what’s the difference between the voice of the ego and the voice of love?

The voice of the ego

The voice of the ego has an agenda. The voice of the ego has an expectation. It has a goal it isn’t willing to let go of, a set plan that involves you getting exactly what you want in the way that you expect to get it. The ego is the voice of fear and limitation. The ego is impatient. It wants an answer right away.

The voice of love

In contrast, the voice of love, your intuition, is much more relaxed, receptive and released around time. This voice is very loving. It says, “Let’s be patient, let’s take our time and let’s allow an intuitive response to come forward.” Sometimes the voice of your intuition may not make logical sense, but it always feels good.

Let me reiterate this point: The voice of your intuition might not always make logical sense. It may not always sound like the decision-making part of your mind. But it will always feel good.

Knowing the difference between how you think you “should” think or act, and how you actually feel, is extremely important when it comes to easily making decisions that you feel good about.

If you get caught up in the ego pretty often, just start to pay attention to it. Recognize when your ego is trying to force you to make decisions on the spot, or force you to ask for other people’s advice, or make you feel like you’re pressured in the decision-making process.

The fearful, judgmental voice of the ego will give you a lot of anxiety around making decisions. This anxiety makes you unsure of yourself, and so you hem and haw or else you impulsively make a decision just to get it over with.

Tips for making decisions that you feel good about

When we make decisions from a place of Universal guidance, we don’t have to be anxious at all. We can be trusting and at ease. We can let go of the timeframe and the details, and trust in the Universe’s plan instead.

Instead of blocking intuitive ideas, synchronicity, opportunities and abundance, we open up to all of it! We stop interfering and we allow the Universe to get to work.

Practice the 24-hour rule

To start easily making decisions you feel good about, first you need to learn to give yourself some breathing room. Don’t feel like you have to make a decision right away.

Of course, there are some instances where we have to be quick on your toes and make fast decisions. But most of the time you can give yourself at least 24 hours to make a decision.

the moment i realign with love clear direction is presented to me gabby bernstein card deckThere is a lot of magic that can occur within 24 hours. In 24 hours you make room for miracles because you shift your energy and walk away from your ego’s agenda. You walk away from what you think you need to get done and you give yourself the freedom to just trust that there’s a plan that will unfold.

In those 24 hours, you become more receptive and more relaxed. I suggest you turn to a simple prayer during this time. You can say this prayer many times if you need to: “I turn this over. I surrender this decision to the Universe and I welcome guidance.” Turn it over and let it go.

When you surrender, you welcome change, possibility, guidance and inspired ideas. Just being in that prayer over a 24-hour period can completely transform your decision-making process by dissolving frantic energy.

Frantic energy is the ego at work. It makes you feel crazy and it leads to wrong decisions. I’ve made decisions from an ego-driven place of frantic energy and I’ve seen many other people do it.

For example, I’ve seen people impulsively quit their jobs because they feel enraged and resentful. Often it’s the case that they were meant to leave that job, but their situation would have been so much better if they’d given themselves a few months to put more money in the bank and get grounded.

Give yourself at least 24 hours to make a decision whenever you can.

Let your muscles help you make decisions

miracles now book gabby bernsteinThis is an awesome tool from my book Miracles Now. It’s an example of what’s called applied kinesiology. This exercise is a way to get answers from your subconscious through muscle reactions.

The idea here is that every muscle in your body either resists a decision or flows with it. Your brain might play tricks on you, but your muscles never lie.

When you feel stuck about a decision, you can test your options against your muscle tension to see which direction your body actually agrees with.

Here’s how it works…

Begin by identifying the decision you’re struggling to make, and phrase it as question. The question can be as small as “Should I eat pizza for dinner?” or as big as “Is it time to leave my job?”

Once you’ve decided on your question, rephrase it as though you’ve decided on it. For example, you might say, “Yes, I want pizza for dinner,” or you might say, “No, I’m not ready to leave my job.”

applied kinesiology miracles now | making decisionsOn your left hand, press the tips of your thumb and little finger together so they form a sort of O.

Then insert the top sections of thumb and index finger of your right hand into the opening, and press them together. What results is a little chain link.

Then pull the finger/thumb of your right hand against the fingers of your left hand.

If the O separates easily, it means this choice makes you weak and your body doesn’t support it. This is a clear indication that your answer is a definite NO.

If your left fingers stay tight together, the choice you’re making is a strong YES.

This simple exercise can communicate so much. Trust that your muscles never lie. Your ego may resist the messages you receive, but do your best to trust what your body is telling you.

Meditate to stay connected to the Universe

gabby bernstein meditating | making decisionsThe biggest thing you can do in order to easily make decisions that you feel good about is here is to stay connected to the Universe.

Consciously communicate with the Universe every day. We say often that prayer is when you ask and meditation is when you listen. Before you meditate, you can say a prayer like, “Thank you, Universe, for revealing to me exactly what I need to know in order to make this decision with ease.” And then sit in your meditation, relax and be centered.

If you have a regular meditation practice you follow, then you can turn to that type of meditation. You can also just sit comfortably and pay attention to your breath or silently repeat a mantra.

In your meditation you’ll begin to hear the voice of guidance come forward. It may be very loud or it may be soft. It may be an image, a sensation or a feeling. However your inner wisdom speaks to you is perfect. You’ll know it’s true because you don’t question the feeling. While your logical mind may question it, emotionally and physically you begin to feel a sense of grounding and a sense of truth. That is what matters.

Stay spiritually connected to make decisions you feel great about

miracle membership gabby bernstein

As you become more committed and consistent about connecting to the Universe, you won’t just have to tap into inspiration when you have a decision to make. You’ll be able to listen to that divine voice and be guided by it all the time!

This is why I created my Miracle Membership — to make it easy for you to stay consistent on your spiritual path. If this sounds interesting to you, then check it out here!

Read or leave comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Thank you milion times for this post. Its been so helpfull. I am strugaling with one big decision i have to make and my ego Was making different construction about it. So it Just came to me to google Whats best tehnique for decision making. Your post is first what came UP. Eaven i know in me all this things i didnt use it. Thank you thank you thank you milion times thank you for writeing this.

  2. hi there,
    this is exactly whay I needed to read today. Your name has been popping up a fair bit recently and I think it’s a sign that the universe is giving me to read your book! A quick question about the O kiniesology technique: I have been trying to decide whether to move back to Europe or stay in Australia. I’ve wanted to move back for a few years but now that I’m getting older, I can’t really be bothered moving my life back over again. I primarily wanted to move for career reasons but as I get older, the pull of family and stability here had become more appealing. so I tried the O technique and I wasn’t surprised when the muscle testing indicated to me that I don’t want to leave.. but then when I said my name is Mal and the O opened, I was quite perplexed because Mal really is my name! so it makes me think I haven’t done it right… how strongly should we be holding onto our thumb and pinky?

    1. Hi Mal! Try using a gentle pressure with the technique. If you’re feeling unclear, take a quiet moment and check in with your inner guidance. It might feel good to ask yourself these questions out loud and see how your intuition responds. <3

  3. What do you suggest to someone who has impulsively made a decision (left a job, declined an offer, acted out of resentment) and missed out on an opportunity and is now regretting it?

    1. When you pressure yourself into making a decision or act impulsively, it’s common to experience a feeling of regret. Acknowledge your feelings and also see what you can take away from it and be grateful for. That gratitude is a major part of your healing and moving in a new direction.

  4. I used to be very indecisive in the past, but once I started applying the spiritual method of making decisions, everything changed. It has become so much easier for me to make quick decisions that feel good.

  5. Gabby,
    Thank you so much for this! I am at a major crossroads after being laid off from my job. Trying to decide if I want to move home to the city where I’m from or stay where I am. I’ve experienced much growth in my current location but I do miss home. I’m stuck…mentally. I tried the finger test and it’s not working! I’m sure I’m making it more complicated than it needs to be (naturally) but is there any trick to this? If you are left handed should you do the thumb and pinkie on right hand? I’m in the hallway!!!

    1. Hi Christina! The kinesiology test works when you let it work. You may be unwilling to surrender the decision right now. That is totally fine – in this case I suggest the other practices in this post. Sometimes the quick way is not available to us because we’re not yet willing to get out of the way and let the Universe take care of things! Try a surrender practice every day for the next 30 to 60 days. Get yourself out of it and give up the decision to a power greater than you! <3

  6. Thank you for your post and other materials Gabby. I was introduced to your work by a very good friend, and am a new follower and new on the spiritual journey. But, with this complementing other empowerment work I’m doing, what I am learning from you is blowing my mind! I never thought I’d hear myself say that I’m feeling the power of the universe, or that I feel like I’m now in a relationship with it 🙂 With the help of some other spiritual practices, many of the things you’ve shared have helped me relinquish some control and embrace patience. Thank you again 🙂

  7. I was just texting my friend how I had been thinking irrationally, and I pulled up Instagram and saw your post leading to this blog. I couldn’t decide if it was anxiety or true signs I was ignoring. I have a history of staying in abusive relationships past the point of when I should left. I am having trouble forgiving myself for staying all those years ago. This helped me realize that my worries in my current relationship are purely ego based. Thank you, Gabby.

    1. Beautiful Mary. Forgiving yourself is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Sending lots of love. <3

  8. What if you know what you have to do whether relationships, jobs, friends, etc but are too scared to make a wrong decision so you suffer through it (even when you know the answer but cant commit to it – after years and years of fearing the outcome with said relationships, jobs etc). Is there really such a thing as a wrong decision or just fear of making one period?

    1. Hi Inna. You will always feel better and aligned when you make choices from a place of love rather than a place of fear. If it feels confusing, start incorporating a daily meditation practice, which will help you feel safe and grounded so you can make those decisions with ease. <3

  9. Thank-you for the lovely article Gabby. I often try to rely on intuition when making decisions but have difficulty releasing my impatience. What a lovely reminder that we can always surrender more when we think we have. Amazing things can happen when we “get out of the way” and surrender. Thanks for this article.

  10. I needed this guidance today! I’m having a really hard time deciding whether or not I should end an almost 3 year relationship. I’m going to try some of your suggestions. Thank you ❤

  11. Such a clear and useful blog post. Thankyou, as always perfect timing 😉 !
    I can sense a serene grounded peaceful and wise tone in your writing. Thankyou for being a wonderful guide! I’m so grateful to have found you 2 years ago, when i was in the dark you reminded me to have faith! And so I pulled through and am now working on my dream career. Slowly but surely. And the best thing is that i’m at peace with that slowly but surely and not forcefully rushing and disturbing my peqce. Living with presence in every moment on the way to my dreams. Knowing where to turn when things get bumpy. Can’t wait to take your spirit junkie class next year ! Lots of luv and gratitude xoxo

  12. Wow! This is divine intuition here because I have always been indecisive and there has been a important decision that I have been going back and forth on. And now I know it’s my ego getting in the way because I felt like I needed to know when I would do this and how. Thank you so much!! Perfect timing! 🙂

  13. I’ve gotten out of a daily practice of connecting with the Universe and allowed myself to be frustrated by that so Thank You Gabby for the reminder

  14. This is so true. I have a problem with over analysing a lot of the time and asking people for their views too much. Yet so many of my best decisions have come from my intuition. I find that after meditating, my mind clears of most of my overthinking clutter so to speak and then, I get to focus and hone in on my intuition better. Then it’s like the universe and myself have made the right call. I needed a reminder on this issue, as it’s easy to fall back in to my old ways of over thinking. Thanks for the great advice.

  15. Hi lovely Gabby, how hard do you need to push your fingers when doing the kinesiology test? Thanks for this post, so useful, so practical, so true. I once read that you are an Aries Moon, just like myself. At its lowest its an impulsive moon that uses frantic energy to make decisions quickly based on the ego wishes. At its highest we are born leaders 🙂 Love, Maria.

  16. This was right on time! I have a few important decisions to make & this will help me listen to my ing.

    Thanks Gabby!

  17. Oh wow! I will have to try the muscle technique when having to make a decision. Your muscles don’t lie, that’s for sure. What a great tip Gabby, I love everything you do. Thank you as always for your guidance and direction!

  18. Can’t thank you enough for this. Very big day, and I was guided towards you, and “The Universe has your back”. So thank you, thank you!!

  19. This came at the right time I have an interview in the morning . I am less nervous know . I will surrender and believe everything happens for a reason .

  20. Thank you, Gabby!!
    Trying to make a real estate decision, this reminded me of the best way to decide!! BTW: the muscle test, I do this! It is so so so helpful and the outcome is always what is best for all! xxoo Kim

    P.S. all you Gabby followers:: miracle membership is the BEST addition to any spiritual path! (This is my own opinion, FYI)

  21. Thank you for this gabbs. You always deliver at the right time when I need it. Thinking about adding becoming an owner of a dance studio. I needed this!! I am so grateful for you, your wisdom you share & the emails. Love you deeply

  22. Wonderful, your practices are really practical and powerful. “I choose peace instead of this” affirmation has helped me so many times. Thanks. I continue to use it.

I only recommend products and brands I passionately believe in, but wanted you to know that when I make a recommendation, I may receive a referral fee.


My Proven Tools for Releasing Anxiety & Finding Peace

Free Super Attractor Introduction

Get the 26-minute audio intro


Everything you need to stay
consistent on your spiritual path.

“The next best thing to having
Gabby as your personal coach!”

By using this site, you agree to our privacy policy.

Accept Read More