Something interesting has been happening over the past several weeks. People from all over the world have been sending me messages saying, “I finally finished Judgment Detox.”
Out of all my books, Judgment Detox is the one that about half the people who start it don’t finish.
But in our current circumstances, that seems to be changing. In my recent media interviews, reporters and podcasters have been asking me about Judgment Detox. And when the coronavirus lockdown started, I found myself re-reading the book, too!
Why we need a Judgment Detox now
I think the reason many people don’t finish Judgment Detox is that it requires a lot of commitment to your spiritual practice.
I say that with pride because I think it’s my most important book. It’s definitely the most important one at the moment — because our sense of inner peace is being challenged daily.
Not only that, but the level of judgment is at an all-time high right now. When we feel out of control, we want to blame other people for our discomfort. We also act out in old addictive patterns, and one of our most addictive patterns is judgment.
I’ll admit that I went into a radical judgment spiral when this all started because it was my way of trying to maintain a sense of control.
So let’s just call it out.
Our unconscious wounds are activated right now, and when this happens we act out. We may be home with family members who are getting on our nerves. Or we may be pissed off at everyone who isn’t taking the precautions we want them to. We may be judging political figures, or we may be mad at people who are judging political figures we admire.
Whatever it is… we’re IN IT right now.
Judgment may give us a high at first — but it results in a hangover that really sucks. Judgment lowers our energy and weakens us physically and mentally. It makes us feel alone and cut off from inspiration and love.
Therefore, our work is to recognize how judgment is holding us back from peace. So in this post I want to give you Judgment Detox resources, including blog posts and videos with spiritual tools you can put into practice right now.
Let’s break it down…
What you’ll learn in this Judgment Detox blog post
We’ve talked about why we need to detox from judgment. Keep reading to learn…
- How I came to write Judgment Detox
- What judgment is
- The promise of healing judgment
- The six steps of the Judgment Detox, including spiritual tools you can put into practice today
- How you can get started on your Judgment Detox journey now
Want to feel happy right now? Listen to this episode of Dear Gabby:
I wrote ‘Judgment Detox’ after many years of spiritual work
Judgment Detox is the culmination of many years of spiritual work. I had been talking, writing and thinking about the problem of judgment for a long time.
I dedicated a chapter of my book The Universe Has Your Back to healing judgment, and it soon became clear to me that the topic was so much bigger than a single chapter! The topic of judgment and how to heal it required an entire book.
My commitment as a spiritual teacher is to keep it real. So in order to write a book called Judgment Detox, I had to get fearlessly honest about my own judgment.
This is my truth
I struggle with judgment every day. I judge far and I judge wide. I judge strangers. I judge my friends. I judge my husband and my family members. And, of course, I judge myself for just about everything.
For years I tried to rationalize or dismiss what seemed like innocent enough behavior. We get a quick hit of self-righteousness when we judge others. It’s a reliable little crutch when we feel hurt, insecure or vulnerable. Our judgments towards others seem to make us feel better than them — smarter, savvier, more enlightened, healthier or wealthier.
Inevitably, though, this feeling fades. When I judge I feel my energy weaken and my thoughts darken. Time and time again, judgment left me feeling deeply uncomfortable, isolated and out of alignment with the woman I want to be.
What is judgment?
My definition of judgment is pretty straightforward: separation from love. The moment we see ourselves as separate from anyone else we detour into a false belief system that is out of alignment with our true nature, which is love. Deep down we are all loving, kind and compassionate beings.
There are many spiritual terms for this truth, such as spirit, source and God. Throughout Judgment Detox I refer to this truthful state as love. This separation from love is the force behind everything from playground bullying to systemic racism, xenophobic world leaders and even terrorism.
To begin the journey of healing judgment and restoring love, we must recognize that, deep down, we all have the same problem and the same solution. Our problem is that we separated from love and the solution is to return to love.
Our separation from love
Why and how did we separate from love?
From a spiritual perspective, our life’s hangups stem from this moment of separation, when our internal voice of fear (our ego) led us astray from love, compassion and oneness. Our separation from love can be the result of a traumatic experience or a seemingly insignificant event.
While we all have different stories that caused us to separate from love, we all have the same response to feeling alone in the world: fear. One way we respond to that feeling of fear is to fight back by judging others. It’s our way of trying to build ourselves up. We lean on judgment as our great protector.
I cannot overstate this: Judgment is the #1 reason we feel lonely, sad and disconnected.
Our popular culture and media place enormous value on social status, looks, racial and religious separation, and material wealth.
We are made to feel less than, separate and not good enough, so we use judgment to insulate ourselves from the pain of feeling inadequate, insecure or unworthy.
It’s easier to make fun of, write off or judge someone for a perceived weakness of theirs than it is to examine our own sense of lack.
Judgment drains our happiness
Check out this video from The Dr. Oz Show, where I talk about how judgment is the one sneaky thing that drains our happiness:
We can heal judgment
The good news is that we can heal judgment! My commitment to healing my own relationship to judgment has changed my life in profound ways:
- My awareness of my judgment has helped me become a more mindful and conscious person.
- My willingness to heal these perceptions has set me free!
- I can let go of resentments and jealousies.
- I can face pain with curiosity and love.
- I forgive others and myself much more easily.
Best of all, I have a healthy relationship to judgment so that I can witness when it shows up and I can use these steps to quickly return to love.
All of this is available to you, too, when you practice the Judgment Detox!
What is the Judgment Detox?
The Judgment Detox is an interactive six-step process that calls on spiritual principles from the text A Course in Miracles, the Emotional Freedom Technique (also known as tapping), meditation, prayer and other metaphysical teachings. I’ve demystified these principles to make them easy to commit to and apply in your daily life.
Each lesson builds upon the next to support true healing. When you commit to following the process and become willing to let go, judgment, pain and suffering will begin to dissolve.
When you read Judgment Detox or go through the Judgment Detox Digital Course, you’ll practice six steps in order. Below I break down each step and give you a preview of what to expect.
Step 1: Witness your judgment without judgment
The way out of judgment begins when you witness the judgment without more judgment. When we look at our judgment with love we can begin the healing process.
In Step 1 you’ll get intimate with your judgment, identify the triggers underneath it and get honest about how it makes you feel.
This is a beautiful practice. What is asked is that you become more conscious of the ways you separate yourself from others and the world. This step requires an honest inventory of your thoughts, words and actions.
When you look closely at the ways you judge, you may be tempted to judge yourself. Let’s take that off the table now by accepting that we all judge all the time! We live in a world filled with judgment and no one is a saint. Therefore, let’s accept that we’re all in it together.
This step by itself is likely to heal some of your judgments completely!
Step 2: Honor the wound
The next step in healing your relationship to judgment is to honor the shadows and bring them to the light. In this step I teach a powerful technique called the Emotional Freedom Technique, also known as EFT or Tapping.
EFT is a psychological acupressure technique that supports your emotional health. I have found that EFT is one of the greatest ways to address the root cause of emotional issues that live below the surface of our judgment.
This practice will help you heal the triggers, wounds and traumas that live underneath your judgments. This process can have a huge healing effect on your life.
Guided EFT: Tapping on judgment
You can start right now by watching this video in which we tap on judgment. This video comes from my Judgment Detox Digital Course.
Step 3: Put love on the altar
Once you’ve witnessed your judgmental thoughts and honored the wounds through EFT, you pray. This is a practice of offering up your judgment through prayer.
It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God, spirit or the energy of the Universe. All that matters is that you’re willing to let go and be free. Your desire to be free from judgment is enough to establish a spiritual connection.
Throughout this step I’m going to ask you to suspend any disbelief you may have and open up to surrender your judgment to a power greater than you. If this is new to you, then get psyched! Endless freedom and grace are available to you when you receive spiritual guidance.
If you’ve never prayed before or haven’t done it in a long time, here’s something to keep in mind: The desire to release judgment is itself a prayer. So rest assured that you already know how to pray! The fact that you’re reading this blog post signals that you’re willing to release judgment. You’re already on your way.
Step 4: See for the first time
Once you’ve prayed and cultivated compassion, you’ll be ready to shift how you see the people you’ve judged. We often judge others (and ourselves) by projecting old experiences onto our current circumstances.
But when you practice seeing someone for the first time, you release them from the false projections you’ve put on them and the false beliefs that separate you.
You’ll learn how you can choose to look at a person (or a situation) as if you’re seeing them for the first time. Imagine how free you would be if you didn’t lug your past into your present with every encounter!
The experience of seeing someone for the first time is one of deep relief. You free the person from the stories you’ve placed upon them and you free yourself from the bondage of attack. You’ll feel relieved because you’ll be returning to your truth.
Step 5: Meditate for oneness
Learning how to see others for the first time sets you up for the powerful practice of meditation. In stillness all separation melts away and oneness is restored.
Step 5 contains meditations to help you heal your relationship to judgment. One of my favorite meditations is part of this step: the Cord-Cutting Meditation.
We all have energetic cords tying us to people across the world. Sometimes we have cord connections to people we don’t even know. You might have a cord connection to a celebrity or to someone you met only once.
When you have any kind of relationship with someone, your energy becomes connected, especially when a strong emotional event occurs between you.
Even when that relationship ends, the energy cord can still be intact, particularly in situations where you’re thinking negative, judgmental thoughts about that person.
The Cord-Cutting Meditation allows you to let go and get closure from a past relationship. It also helps you clear negative energy in a current relationship.
Guided Cord-Cutting Meditation
Step 6: Forgive
The final step of the Judgment Detox is to practice forgiveness. This step is the most passive, but also the most powerful.
If we want to be free from judgment, we must be willing to forgive. Without forgiveness we continue to live in the shadows of our past and our projections of the future.
The key word here is willingness. You may find that it’s easy to forgive some people, but the thought of forgiving someone who hurt you greatly might seem impossible. That’s okay. We don’t need to forgive immediately. We simply need to be willing to forgive. Our willingness is enough to open the door to forgiveness.
When we become willing, spirit hears our call and guides our path. A Course in Miracles says, “Do nothing, then, and let forgiveness show you what to do.” Looking at our separation and judgment through the lens of our internal teacher makes forgiveness possible.
By being willing to forgive (even if we aren’t sure how it will happen or how long it will take) we allow ourselves to begin to heal. Forgiving doesn’t mean you let someone off the hook for seriously hurting you, and it certainly doesn’t mean you need to have this person in your life. But you don’t have to expend energy on judging them. Instead, you can be free. Forgiveness is a blessing for you.
In this final step of the Judgment Detox, I will guide you toward forgiveness. You will feel an incredible lightness and a sense of completion, and you’ll be ready to apply the tools in your everyday life.
Conclusion: Living the Judgment Detox
The final chapter of Judgment Detox is dedicated to showing you how to live the practice in everyday life.
Once you complete the six steps, you can use the practices in the book anytime, anywhere. You may find one or two steps come more easily to you than others. Do what feels good to you. When you’ve experienced the complete detox there’s no right or wrong way to continue to apply these principles in your life. All that I suggest is that you use at least one step daily to stay consistent on your path.
What matters is how quickly you come back to love.
It’s important to go easy on yourself and remember that you won’t (and can’t) be judgment-free all the time. What matters is how quickly you witness the judgment and come back to your right mind. You’ll be amazed by how fast you can do this once you’ve completed the detox!
In this final chapter I’ll give you tips and tools to stay consistent with your practice. This will help you to maintain the sense of joy, freedom and peace that the Judgment Detox offers.
Since I wrote this book I have experienced many miracles. I’ve also heard from countless readers about the miraculous transformations they’ve experienced! Now it’s your turn.
What happens when you practice the Judgment Detox
This practice offers many promises. Petty resentments will disappear, compassion will replace attack, the energy of resistance will transform into freedom and you’ll feel more peace and happiness than you’ve ever known.
I can testify to these results because I’ve lived them. I’ve never felt more freedom and joy than I have when writing and practicing these steps.
And the miracles keep coming. Once you begin to feel better you start to release your resistance to love. The more you practice these steps the more love enters into your consciousness and into your energetic vibration.
When you’re in harmony with love you receive more of what you want. Your energy attracts its likeness. So when you shift your energy from defensive judgment to free-flowing love, your life gets awesome! You’ll attract exactly what you need, your relationships will heal, your health will improve, and you’ll feel safer and more secure.
Detoxing from judgment heals the world
I wrote Judgment Detox to help us all feel better. As a spiritual activist, I believe my greatest contribution to the world is to help people reconnect to the power of love.
When we make this shift, we begin to vibrate at a new frequency. When you elevate your vibration, your family, neighbors and friends reap the benefits. One person’s energetic shift has the power to create a ripple effect across the globe. And as more and more people vibrate love, the vibrations of hate and judgment weaken.
The times we’re living in require our commitment to love. The only way to survive them is to change our frequency. This practice is not just about feeling happier and attracting more — it’s about healing the world.
We all feel the call of our own inner activist. The most powerful way to respond to that call is to shift our inner life. When we make inner shifts we intuitively know how to show up on the outside. We lead from a place of compassion and forgiveness. We become more conscious in our interactions and we become a better example for our children.
Each loving thought we have becomes a peaceful protest that energetically heals the epidemic of hate in the world. One loving thought at a time creates a miracle.
How to start your journey with the Judgment Detox Digital Course
I made you a digital course to guide you through the six-step Judgment Detox process!
I want you to be able to access these life-changing methods. So to make the course as accessible as possible during this time, I’m offering a lower price.
Here’s what the course includes:
- 3 guided EFT videos to help you release judgment and feel immediate relief
- Videos and audios for 6 guided meditations so you can experience transformation fast
- Audio recordings of 4 prayers — listen anywhere, anytime and connect to your intuitive guidance
- Bonus interviews with expert teachers to deepen your practice and inspire you