How to Pray: The Secret to Prayer Is to Forget What You Think You Need

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I’ve noticed a common theme among many of my readers and audience members. People often email me, stand up to ask questions at my events or approach me at book signings to say that they struggle with prayer.

They tell me that they pray for something to happen in a certain way or in a certain amount of time and it just doesn’t happen. Or they pray for a certain outcome, and the outcome is different. They wonder what they’re doing wrong.

Can you relate? If so, I know this lesson will serve you greatly. I’m going to share the secret to prayer.

Watch the video below and then keep reading:

The secret to prayer is to forget what you think you need

When we pray for a specific outcome, we’re assuming that we know what’s right for us and that we have the plan. We’re denying our capacity to have a power greater than ourselves to step in and guide us. We’re denying our connection to the Universe when we pray for what we think we need.

Therefore, the secret is to turn it over. Instead of praying for what you think you need, pray for the highest good for all. Get into alignment with the energy of the Universe and let the Universe show you what is the highest good for you and for all.

key to prayer is to forget what i think i need gabby bernstein card deckThe second I say this prayer to myself, it releases me. It allows me to relax and just surrender the plans, ideas, projections and expectations I have for myself.

In that relaxed state, we are back in alignment with the Universe. This simple shift reorganizes everything. You can simply allow and receive miracles.

Start this prayer practice today

You can start this right now and practice it every day. When you catch yourself trying to control an outcome, obsessing over a timeline or future-tripping about a goal, stop and pray for the highest good for all. You can simply say:

Universe, thank you for supporting me. I surrender my desires and expectations, and I pray for the highest good for all.

Leave me your comments below and let me know how this feels for you! As you make it a practice, pay attention to the inner shifts you experience. Trust that this is exactly what prayer is meant to be — it aligns your energy and thoughts back with the love of the Universe.

When you are in alignment with the Universe, you can trust that whatever comes to you, in whatever order and form it comes, is exactly how it needs to be.

Stay consistent and connected on your spiritual path

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Praying regularly is a powerful way to stay in communication with the Universe and receive regular guidance. If you want to make it fun and easy to stay consistent on your spiritual path, join my Miracle Membership!

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  1. So I am trying to pray for the highest good for all but I feel a little resistance everytime I do because I so badly want what I want. How do I let go of the resistance or do I just alow it to be there when I am praying?

    Much love,


    1. This is super insightful, Jane. Great work. One thing you can do is let the universe know that you are experiencing this resistance, and if you’re willing, ask for a shift in perception. Here are some additional posts and practices that I think you’ll find helpful:

  2. I struggle a bit with this one. I understand your perspective on letting the universe guide you and not to pray for a specific outcome. How would you then go about wanting/hoping your best friend back? Cleary I want the specific outcome. And not sure how there is a better plan then us not being friends. It is my fault she is mad and not talking to me, I have apologized, verbal and heart felt letter and now daily praying one day she will be my friend again. (sounds school girl ish). It has been 8 months (and it really is nothing major, she just holds her “grudges”). Can you guide me.

    1. Great question, Jen. The way to let the universe guide you is to commit to your daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation. Prayer is the medium for asking and meditation is the medium for receiving. Through prayer, you can prayer for both your friend’s healing and happiness as well as your own. Through meditation, you can create space to receive guidance. This guidance leads to inspired action, so rather than taking action from a place of fear and lack to get your friend back, you can take action based on joy and faith. Here are some practices that you might find helpful:

  3. Hi Gabby a while back I bought your book , the universe has your back . I was starting out on the Spirtual path but by the time the book came I gone spiraling downhill to depression once again , so your book sat in my closet for a good 6 months. Last week I took a day off work because I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted and I had a migraine . So I packed up a small bag, for some reason I grabbed your book and went to the lake cabin where there is no power and I laid on the couch with a blanket a started reading your book. It’s beautifully done. I’m still reading it right now As the warmth of the blanket kept making me fall asleep which is what I needed. Lol anyways i love your book so far I do have questions but not sure how I would go about asking you . Is it here ?? I’m currently on chapter 5.
    Thank you . I’m getting more and more interested in what you do and who you are and how I can turn this depression I’ve felt with for about 35 years to finding my peace and happiness and being able to trust in the universe instead of the constant fear in my head .

    1. Wonderful that The Universe Has Your Back is resonating with you. You will find many helpful tools to help you create an energetic shift in this book as well as in Super Attractor, however, if you’re not already doing so, we would recommend seeing a therapist. This is a wonderful action in self-care. Gabby shares that she would not be where she’s at right now if it weren’t for her therapist. For additional resources, check out this blog post: xoxo

  4. Gabby,
    Just discovering you and your teachings. Something brought me to your page so I am going to have faith in that I was meant to read your teachings and be open to the simplicity of praying in the way you offered. I will admit that I see myself and my fears of letting go of being exact and specific in prayer as others have mentioned below. My prayer intentions are for my loved ones suffering from anxiety and depression and I struggle with letting go of that exact prayer intention. But I have faith that my angel guides brought me here today and I am going to “with faith” say your prayer and believe. Thank you!

    1. Amazing, Char. The universe knows what’s in your heart and is always working towards the highest good for all– including you! xoxo

  5. Thank you!! I am going to begin praying this way! Everyday I learn more and more! I am grateful and I appreciate my journey teachers!

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