How to Maintain Your Sense of Self When You Fall in Love

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Hi Spirit Junkies! When we fall in love, it can be easy to lose ourselves. New relationships can be blissful and exciting, but if we get carried away they can feel scary and out of control. In this vlog I share tips on how to maintain your power and your sense of self when you fall in love. For more on this topic join me in September for my 3-week course on Fearless Relationships workshop.

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  1. Hello Gabby-

    I’ve been reading your books for about two weeks now. It’s all been very helpful but something in Spirit Junkie triggered me and I wanted to ask for some insight. You mentioned that you were in a relationship that “wasn’t a real relationship” because you didn’t ask for what you wanted. The upside is that this relationship brought all your insecurities out for you to do work. I am in a current new relationship with someone who has triggered me quite a bit in the last three months. When my ego is at it worst, it will turn on this new man in my life and convince me that he is uncaring and no good for me. When I read your own testament it triggered my ego, “what if you’re in the relationship with the wrong man?! Just like Gabby!” This startled me. How do I know the difference between a solid relationship that challenges me and makes me uncomfortable and one that is just not going to last but a universal assignment? Is it possible to find forever love in your universal assignment?

  2. Hi Gabby, I love your video so much! I had a relationship that didn’t work. We didn’t have the same sense of humor, or idea of what was right or wrong. Thanks so much for your attempts to help.

  3. It’s been my experience that it’s much easier to stay true to yourself in relationships the older you get–one of the many benefits of getting older.

  4. Love this, Gabby! So needed. It’s easy to stop being your authentic self in relationships. What a great reminder to stay true to who you are!

  5. Wow! This really resonated with me. I have just recently told my husband that i no longer want to be with him any more. The toughest decision of my life (we share 2 children together). After being together for 15 years, i realize how much work i need to do on myself . Where did i lose myself – my authenticity in the relationship. I at 37 years old and am now on a search of self discovery, it is scary and exciting, but i say bring it on! When you speak your truth from the heart, you can never go wrong. I am so excited to develop a strong relationship with myself and then maybe one day i will be strong enough to love again. If i had have been more authentic than always trying to be the peace maker, i may not have had a failed marriage.

  6. Yep! That’s what I am struggling with right now! Thanks, Gabby! I’m going to make a cuppa and re-read that significantly important chapter! Sat nam!

  7. Thank you so much for posting this video! This a topic that SOO many women have dealt with. I feel like it’s so easy for us too. Authenticity makes a huge difference — I couldn’t agree more!

    Btw, our comment about your own experience in relationships and how you explained that in Spirit Junkie led me to buy that book of yours. I love hearing about other people’s journeys so I’m very intrigued!

  8. Wow. I have been losing who I am for years now. In fact, I used to choose toxic relationships where I was never really validated. I have been looking to be more authentic with myself and others. 🙂 I will definetly be looking into your books!!

  9. Just what I needed to hear! Thank you. It is not that I didn’t know this; however, is is so nice to hear it from you with much confidence. I trust in the universe. 🙂

  10. Dear Gabby, thank you so much for this video, I love the message of staying authentic above all and you are such an inspiration to me!:) I would like to ask you if you could please make a video about someone like me who doesn´t have any success with men. I´m 27 now and never had a boyfriend before and I have been on only one date, which was horrible;). I really take care of my outer experience, but I am very shy… This would be sooooo great and I would be so thankful, because I don´t know what to do!!!

  11. Hi Gabby
    Thank you soo much for your vlogs..I so look forward to them every Monday! Im on day 31 in your book May cause amazing. I appreciate so much how you live all of your truth and share it with all of us..Have an amazing day:)

  12. Embracing my quirky parts, being authentic and shining my own light was a challenge at first but then it has really worked for me. I’ve been in a beautiful loving & so supportive + expansive relationship with my man for the past 8 years and it keeps getting better. Authenticity, self-acceptance & owning + shining my inner power is key.


  13. have been working on this more especially after reading “A Return to Love” and it’s amazing how effective these little shifts are!
    Thanks so much for putting this out there.

    Oh – and I love your dress!

  14. I needed this! Gabby, like 4-6 days after listening to your medidating album and doing alot the tracks on the album, God walked a beautiful spiritual assigment -( in the form of a guy) into my life. I had just come through a difficult breakup and your voice on the meditations really helped me recover a lot if lost hope within. And this post about retaining authenticity is so key to allowing my ing to guide me in this new experience. Thank you for the reminder. I’m sending u a big hug, your words and work have so touched my life. ps- I love the side braid, so pretty 🙂

  15. Woweee Love your topic 🙂 Spirit really is my boyfriend – has been for years, I am so on track with career, horses and spiritual practise that I don’t even want a boyfriend!!! Sat Nam

  16. Thank you!, I have still some concerns about this. After a relationship that didn’t work I am now trying to put myself together, doing a lot for myself (yoga and meditation, volunteering) I have had some men that are trying to connect with me but I am scare of moving forward. Not sure if I haven’t found the right one, or if I am just too scare…. Needing some help here, I do want so badly a relationship but not sure what to do…

    1. continue to work through the fear. and sometimes the best work gets done when you’re in relationship. don’t be afraid to testdrive a new relationship b/c it will greatly help you work through your blocks.

  17. Thank you so much for posting this video! I am moving into college today and my boyfriend moved in last week. We have been together for around four years and I am finding my ego going crazy! I haven’t been authentic and living in my truth.. my ego has been spinning with fear making me act irrational and nervous. Thanks Gabby for helping me get back on the right path AGAIN, and here’s to nothing but love 🙂

  18. Your work has made such a difference in my life and this video is so timely for me. I needed that reminder. Thank you and I wish you a beautiful day! 🙂

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