How to Detach from Outcomes and Trust in the Universe

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Do you struggle to detach from outcomes? I see so many people try to control the outcomes of situations, and this includes myself.

For many years I was very determined to create the outcomes I wanted. I always had a plan, and I didn’t let myself feel safe unless everything went according to that plan.

If you have a hard time letting go and accepting the way things unfold, this post is for you. I want to help you let you go and start receiving!

How are you attached to outcomes?

Get honest with yourself right now: In what ways are you obsessing over an outcome?

  • Are you attached to something happening in the timeframe you’re comfortable with?
  • Are you fixated on someone doing something in the way you want?
  • Do you think something will be a disaster if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned?

The power of detachment

When you embrace your Super Attractor power, you can stop controlling and start receiving. The more we turn over our desires and goals to the care of the Universe, the more greatness we allow. We can stop worrying and trust that whatever is coming our way is of the highest good.

When you’re attached to an outcome, you actually block your ability to manifest your desires and co-create with the Universe.

But when your energy is aligned with the energy of the Universe, you blast open the doors to receive support, ideas, inspiration, solutions and opportunities you couldn’t have imagined!

The moment you release the results, you allow the Universe to back you up.

How to detach from outcomes

If we want to manifest the reality we want, we must be in an energy of detachment. In this energy, we become willing to allow and receive.

These 2 steps will help you detach from outcomes. When you practice this simple process, you’ll live with ease and confidence. And you’ll manifest your desires!

Step 1: Recognize how you’re attached to the outcome

Before you can detach from an outcome, you have to get honest about you’re attached to it. Maybe you post in the comments below and just get honest with me, and get honest with yourself about an outcome you’ve been obsessing over.

Then start to pay attention to how that attachment is affecting your energy and your vibrational frequency. How is it making you feel? You can start to see how it’s not serving you and how it may be blocking you from manifesting your desires.

Step 2: Surrender the attachment with prayer

The moment I embrace my peace within and surrender the outcome is the moment the Universe can truly get to work | Gabby Bernstein | The Universe Has Your Back card deckThe next step is to surrender it fully. This is so simple. It’s just a prayer. You can say this prayer daily for the next 30 days if you want to detach from an outcome. Just say:

“I surrender this attachment, and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do.”

That simple prayer will shift your energy immediately. It connects you to the voice of your higher self, which will help you allow and let go.

In that space of allowing and letting go, you start to come into an energy frequency that is receptive and detached. You start to vibrate with the Universe and trust the Universe with the details.

Remember: It’s this or something better.

Release every outcome

As I say in Super Attractor, the Universe responds when we let go and welcome divine guidance. When there is a controlling energy behind your actions, you won’t receive the outcome you truly want. The key to attracting your desires is to release them.

Tweet: The key to attracting your desires is to release them. @gabbybernstein #SuperAttractor

People often ask me how often they should surrender to the Universe. My response is: Every day. You can use your prayer as often as you need. Turn to it anytime you catch yourself trying to control, or when you’re really hung up on a certain outcome.

It helps to begin practicing detaching and surrendering in the areas of your life where things don’t feel so “high stakes” and you have a more relaxed attitude toward the outcome. In time it will become easier to release your bigger attachments. Get into this habit by surrendering something that you’re less attached to. Release it all!

Focus on feeling good

Gabby Bernstein on an Adirondack chair with a vase of flowers | Detach from outcomesAbraham-Hicks say:

“The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But if you don’t feel really good on your way to there, you can’t get there. You have to be satisfied with what-is while you’re reaching for more.”

Your satisfaction with what is allows you to be happy and peaceful regardless of whether you have exactly what you think you need. So just forget what you think you need and focus on feeling good!

Feeling good will bring you far more than whatever you thought you needed. You’ll release the need to get something, be somewhere or have certain circumstances in place to be happy. Happiness will become the outcome you desire most.

You can start cultivating happiness now. Follow the tips in my blog posts on the #1 key to manifesting and creative visualization to focus on feeling good!

Get more guidance in Super Attractor!

Super Attractor by Gabrielle BernsteinIn Super Attractor, I lay out the essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. This book is a manifesto for confidently claiming your desires.

In its pages, you’ll learn how to:

  • Do less and attract more
  • Relax and trust that what you desire is on the way
  • Know that spiritual guidance is available to you at all times
  • Feel a sense of awe each day as you witness miracles unfold

Order the book and claim your free Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop!

Witness the miracles unfold

As you practice detaching from the outcome, you’ll start to see many beautiful miracles begin to unfold in your life.

Look out for them. Pay attention and don’t dismiss anything. Celebrate and appreciate every miracle.

You can come back to this blog post and share with me how you detached from the outcome and what miracles you manifested.

Read or leave comments

273 COMMENTS

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  1. Thank you a lot.i do all that you say and to be honest the most difficult times have become in a way fun. But I think you should add one thing. That don’t ever abandon goals, just don’t expect from them : )

  2. I am really struggling with this tricky situation I am in. I’m out of work and I can’t pay my rent and I pushed so hard for more than two months now and nothing is coming in. I send out so much and tried so hard and now I’m sitting here not knowing what to do and how I can detach if I don’t want to loose my home.

    1. Julia, I am so sorry to hear of the incredibly difficulty you are going through and I want you to know that I am holding you in my prayers. Is there a social services agency or perhaps a religious, secular or relief organization you can reach out to? If not, do you have a trusted family member or friend you can stay with while you begin taking next steps to secure yourself financially?

  3. There are 2 outcomes I currently struggle to detach from.

    1) Having a healthy, passionate and loving long-term relationship with the woman of my dreams.

    2) Landing a job with hours that are more convenient and will pay me enough to live comfortably in the NYC area.

    1. Justyn, for your desired relationship, I encourage you to start by making one small change. Re-frame your thoughts and change the language you are using. Say to yourself, “I am proactively seeking my partner.” Focus on the things that bring you joy and have fun during the process. It feels good to feel good! Also, the fastest way to move into a career you love is to start appreciating the job you have right now. The Universe responds to the energy you put out. So when you are feeling unhappy and defeated every day, you lower your energetic vibration and just end up attracting even more of it.

  4. Thank you for your work. We all love to plan, from the smallest thing to years ahead that we often forget that the universe plays an important role and can have plans of its own. Sometimes it’s best to go with the flow.

  5. Yep, this is me to a T! The most recent time I attached myself to an outcome was this morning, when I published my first listings in my Etsy shop. My goal of being able to cover living costs by running a small business from home means a lot, to the point where the outcome of having a successful business is always on my mind and I even map out what that looks like! I can now see I’m trying to control everything, and it’s hindering what the Universe has in store for me.
    I just received your book yesterday Gabby, I’m really excited for the kids to go to sleep tonight so I can tuck into it!

    1. Grateful that you connected here and shared this major aha moment! I’m excited for you to dive into Super Attractor! <3

  6. I’m listening to your new book and really like it. I’ve been so attached to a certain outcome and it’s really got me all up in a big old stress ball. Thank you for the tips on letting me try to release it. I really need to do that for my health. I’ll be in Houston on Oct 6! I’m very excited to see you and Mike Dooley too!

  7. Hi Gabby!
    I’ve been really focusing on your 5 steps to surrender and it’s become part of my morning routine to go through each one. Any time I catch myself longing for that new job or moving to a “better” city, I make myself run through the 5 steps again. I used to work so hard researching new jobs, applying for new jobs, and figuring out how I could move, but nothing ever seemed to work for often times weird reasons (I now think for some reason I was never supposed to do it). So here I am, surrendering daily and practicing patience. However, I’m starting to think there’s a fine line between surrendering and just giving up. Is a move from CA to NY truly supposed to just walk into my life? Is a new job going to show up without networking? I’m still sticking to the steps and it does feel good, but how much effort is supposed to come from us?

    1. Hi Megan! You’re doing beautiful work. It’s important to get clear and communicate your dreams and desires to the Universe. And with that clarity, fully surrendering the outcome, meaning that you’re open to the greatest possible outcome. While you leave the details up to the Universe, it’s vital that you continue to take aligned action to move towards your desires. When taking aligned action and trusting the Universe, you’ll move forward in flow. XOX

      1. How do you know, then, what action is “aligned” and “not aligned”? I can think of many things in life that I initially felt good about and they turned out badly. How can you tell when action is divinely guided versus you just making futile and even harmful attempts?

  8. Gabby, I really feel like this post is what I needed and is so relevant to my life right now.
    I’m in a situation where I know I’m going to have to find somewhere new to live (in London), and right now I literally can’t imagine how. I have no idea what the solution will be and how it will happen for me.
    I’m finding myself attached to the fear of the outcome, I’m attaching to negative stories and limiting beliefs that fill me with worry. This makes me stressed and feel hopeless, rather than hopeful, positive and excited about this move! It’s making me feel quite alone and vulnerable, which I also know isn’t the case, I just have to trust and know I’m being guided.
    So therefore I’m going to surrender the attachment to the fear, I allow the universe to show me where to go and what to do. Saying your simple prayer everyday I think will help me. Hopefully day by day I will feel better and see the comfort of the universe support me. And I will make sure I make feeling good a priority!
    Thank you again Gabby, I also can’t wait for your new book. I think it’s coming out just in time for this manifestation- I bought The Universe has your back just before I got my first job, I think it was meant to be!
    Lots of love, Ella x

  9. I loved THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK, And, plan to attend your book signing in San Francisco in October. Please consider writing a book for young kids 7-10? My grandson is 8, a 3rd grader, loves school, his teacher, loves to read… He’s “all boy” and so very kind & respectful, but out of control, emotional and hateful when he doesn’t get his way. (He is so easily influenced by other kids, adults, movies, etc.) If kids had a “how to” book on being an instrument of love and still be KIDS I think you would have another best seller. Look forward to Super Attractor!
    Sending a hugh hug,
    Fran
    Monterey, CA

  10. Love these ideas. Can’t wait to see what manifests from detaching from outcomes! I have been anxious about a publishing date for my book. Now I’m going to let the universe and prayer take over!

  11. Reading through these posts has made me realise that we all have similar problems in some respects in terms of selling our homes, finding the right place to live, finding the right partner, health issues etc. It’s good to share and follow the guidance – it’s really hard to surrender to outcomes but I think it has to be the best way. We will receive if we truly surrender and trust and to enjoy learning along the way.

  12. Do you accept private messages and give private replies? I’m having problems manifesting and letting go for the universe to work on the outcome for me.

    I’ve managed to manifest the odd text message and meet up’s but need to manifest more, I know it can happen but something is blocking me.

    HELP X

  13. I have manifested crazy things while surrendering the outcome and a major miracle came from using the process you described in your book “the universe has your back” when looking for a house. I had exactly the same experience of seeing my sign coming through in crazy ways once I signed the contract
    ( my mother without knowing anything sent me a photo of a quatrefoil – my sign- that she had just found). Still, in my job I am desperately looking to be promoted and my being attached to the outcome made me stressed and this negatively impacted the perception people have of me, which is hindering my promotion. I need to detach and surrender to achieve my goals. This in turn is teaching me to nurture relationships and let go of judgment about other people progress.
    Thanks for your amazing books!

    1. I love reading this major “aha” moment! You are doing great work Kaori! Continue to incorporate these steps daily in order to fully let go and trust, and get ready to experience some major shifts.

  14. Thank you for your work! You are a beacon of being PRESENT. I’m so glad to see you take care of yourself on your journey–so many women are wired to keep giving and not caring for themselves that they end up depleted. Self care is NOT selfish! You have such an aggressive book tour schedule with so much travel involved, please, please, please take good care of yourself so that you can continue with your passion and not burn out!
    xo,
    Yvonne Karney, MD

    1. Thanks for your sweet message Yvonne! I have daily self care practices that include meditation and movement. Sending you big hugs! XOX

  15. Hello Gabby!
    I am one of those people who loves to plan and set goals. I love to organize and plan things in my life and, like you mentioned in the post, I have a feeling that it gives me safety. Long time ago one of my best friends taught me that it is ok to plan, but it is important to be aware that plans are there to be changed. To be honest I did not understand this concept up until a few years ago and I am still working on it. The control and attachment syndrome is a quite strong one. However, once we realize that when we let go wonderful thing really come to us and we open and receive it, we are on our way to freedom and happiness. Approximately 5 years ago, after my divorce and breast cancer episodes I began my spiritual journey. There were many emotional ups and downs at that time. I was craving for love, for a healthy loving relationship, but all I was getting were bits and pieces. At one point I realized I was following an old pattern – a control pattern of trying to change somebody so he can fit into my “type of man”. Once I became aware of this, I decided to be alone for a while and detach. I started to do an affirmation I found on Louise Hay’s website: “I have a wonderful partner. We are compatible emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually”. I wrote and lived with this affirmation for a few months and then I let go. Two months later a man entered my life and I was able to see him. We recognized each other. Besides my children, he is the best thing that happened to me.

    But, even though I obviously know all of this, I still have a problem when it comes to achieving my other goals involving my job and finances. I am constantly planning and dreaming of a breakthrough in this area of my life, but things are somehow slipping away. I have a hard time to let go, because I do not want to give a wrong sign to the Universe that I am not doing anything to improve my situation and that I gave up by not doing anything.
    So let’s detach!
    Love, Ana

    1. This is gorgeous Ana. Continue to call on your spiritual practices in order to surrender and trust all the abundance in store for you. Since you deeply connected with mantras in the past, here’s a beautiful mantra for you to start using daily: I have the power to co-create my reality. <3

  16. I’m so grateful for you Gabby! Look forward to seeing you at Attune in Atlanta! I’m trying to stop stressing on outcome of freedom from using alcohol for my anxiety. I’ve cut my drinking down from every day 2-3 drinks a day to few times a week 1-2 drinks…I know that’s progress but I’m still not completely letting go of the outcome. The Universe is already showing me its magic as I literally don’t like the taste of alcohol anymore – it’s like a social comfort when I’m out with friends. I know it’s fear. It gets worse around Anniversary of my husband’s death. I’m trusting the universe for a supernatural healing and deliverance. Thank you so much. Will try your EFT technique as well.

    1. Hi Ro. I’m grateful that you shared here and sorry to hear that you’re struggling with alcohol. I personally understand how overpowering that addiction can feel. Have you ever considered going to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting? The path to recovery is laid out for you in the Twelve Steps. This practice has saved so many lives and has been instrumental in my recovery. I also recommend the website intherooms.com. It’s a great place for online addiction support. I want to share the 5 tools that have been a daily part of my recovery and hope they support and inspire you too. I write about them here: https://gabbybernstein.com/5-spiritual-tools-use-sober-recovery/ Know that you are in my loving and peaceful prayers. <3

      1. Thank you so much for these recommendations Gabby. You truly are a gift to this world and I can’t wait to read your link and also checkout the online resource you’ve recommended. See you at Attune!

    2. Hi Ro,
      I went through the same process with drinking after my father passed away. The book This Naked Mind changed my life. The entire book is great but it gets much better a few chapters in. I had immediate relief from my desire for alcohol. The podcast by Rachel Hart helps too.
      Good luck!
      Susan

  17. Hello Gabby, thank you for writing this new boo. I am already looking forward to the Dutch version. Maybe you will come to Europe one day to give a talk. I will most certainly try to make it to hear your talk. Have a great life, filled with joy and pleasure, good health and always surrounded by people that love you.

    1. I’m excited for you to read Super Attractor Karin! Stay tuned for upcoming additions to my travel and book tour schedule. Sending you lots of love! XOX

  18. I’m in the midst of launching an on-line program for my yoga & mindfulness business & have felt so trapped in frantically manifesting the outcome. Reading this I realise exactly where I am going wrong! Time to shift my energy, release my attachments & let the universe work her magic. Thank you Gabby – I love your work & can’t wait to read Super Attractor! Btw, when are you coming across the pond for a book tour & some workshops?!

  19. I’ve been practicing this for a while and it’s made all the difference in my daily life. Releasing control takes some serious practice. The one area I feel is the absolute hardest is with my health. I have this “special” health struggle that affects my everyday life. I’ve seen countless doctors and none have had an answer. I’ve been told I’m crazy, I’m fine, and just plain they don’t know. I’m attached to the outcomes of “What if I’m like this forever?” I’ve gone through the DABDA of grief and back again. I’ve prayed from the depths of my soul. I really struggle to detach from the outcomes here, especially on the really physically trying days.

    1. Hi Macy. Grateful that you connected here and shared your story. I can hear your deep inner guidance and trust, which can understandably get thrown off by daily health challenges or lack of clarity from practitioners. Keep trusting that inner knowing. By returning to that place of love, trust, and surrender, you will move towards getting the support you need, both from professionals and from your body. I have a daily mantra for you. I recommend saying it while looking in the mirror: I allow the energy of the Universe to move through me. <3

  20. Hi Gabby! I’ve been holding onto the outcome of selling my condo so I can move into a home with a backyard for my kids and dog. I’ve been focused on this outcome for about three months. It is literally all I think about. There have been a ton of showings – and even an offer, but it never came through because of the high taxes in my area. I’m going to use your surrender to attachment prayer starting now. Thank you, as always! xoxo Amanda

    1. Beautiful Amanda! Continue to use these steps and as you do, notice how you open up to big shifts. Sending lots of love your way. <3

  21. Hello Gaby,

    Thank you for being obedient to your story and in doing so touching so many lives.

    I will be in Houston to attend your workshop, I can’t wait!

    Warm regards from Curaçao (Dutch Caribbean),
    Gilian

  22. I’ve gone a bit Back and forth with a detachment. I’ve been training all winter to get my level 2 ski instructor certification and I was so stressed about it that I changed the date to the exam so I had more time to rest and train. After that, I reminded myself why I am doing this. To become a better skier, not to say I’m level 2 qualified. So regardless of the outcome, I’ll still have become a better skier. Now that I’m taking the exam, I’ve noticed my feelings about really wanting to pass have returned and I’m working on letting go of those and finding solace in just focusing on becoming a better skier. Over the past few days of training when I’ve felt low vibe and when I was blocking energy, I let go and asked the universe for help and to guide me, and The results are amazing and I’m back in alignment again! Thank you gabby for sharing all of your knowledge with us 🙂

  23. Thank you for this beautiful message! I’ve been wanting to be a mother for so many years now, and many obstacles have been in my way. I know deeply in my hearth that I need to be detached to the outcome in order to really manifest it in my life, but it has not been easy…I know it has affected my energy for a while, even thought I try to stay positive with everyone and I’ve been doing great things in my life. I will surrender by praying, big love Gabby 🙂

    1. Beautiful Julie. Continue to incorporate the steps in this blog, which will help you open yourself up to a place of trust and surrender. <3

  24. Thank you. This brought me to my knees and gave me a deeper realization of how I am still trying to control my outcomes and not allowing God to work with/for me. I have not received what I want, so I have been throwing out thoughts to help God understand me better and understand more clearly what I really want. I feared God wouldn’t get it right, or send my request in bad timing, or in the wrong way. So I kept dropping hints and suggestions to help him out. Kind of like when I was a kid and would drop hints to my parents about what I wanted for Christmas to ensure I got the present I really wanted. I have been asking God for so long to bring my family back together and love each other, to bring me loving friends, to find a better job, to have more money, with no result. I meditate daily, but to be honest, I think a part of me used it as a bargaining chip to get my way. I have not detached from the outcomes I want, because I fear that if I don’t help it won’t happen. I really need to get over myself and let go. I can’t micromanage God and the Universe. I will try again.

    1. Thank you for this absolutely gorgeous, heartfelt share. This is a major “aha” miracle moment! Continue to commit to the steps in this blog, being loving and gentle with yourself and your process. You are ready!

  25. Hi Gabby I am learning about detachment. I feel on my birthday my spirit guide allowed me to detach from a controlling force in my life. I will also apply that to outcomes. I very much appreciate your guidance and am very open to using your help as a stabilising force. A high compliment indeed. 🙂

  26. I am struggling with this, my desired outcome is a buyer for my flat and the subsequent successful purchase of my dream home which I have found. I am praying, meditating, visualising and journaling. Trying so hard not to let doubts creep in and feeling very mixed up with it all.

    1. You are doing great work Kirsten. Instead of trying hard, let’s create a sense of ease, a sense of relief and trust. A good mantra for you is “it can be easy”. If that doesn’t resonate at first, don’t worry! Commit to using the steps in this blog, knowing that it might still feel hard at first, but that there is major ease ahead.

  27. Dear Gabby,
    Yesterday night I was getting ready to sleep, I was upset and frustrated for an outcome that I want to control at work… I was not even able to get sleep so I decided to open the podcast of Super Soul Conversations, for some reason, (I think the Universe guided me) I selected yours. It made so much impact on my heart…. I fell sleep and this morning the first thing that I’ve done is to watch your videos in you tube, read your Twitter and now I’m here in your blog. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
    *Sorry for the typos, English is not my first language.

  28. My hubby and I moved our daughter to a new country at the beginning of last year to offer her a better future than we could in our birth country. The universe aligned everything jobs, house, school, finances) perfectly. We applied for residency and everything went smoothly until I had a bit of a medical issue that required a specialist (long wait) and some confirmation blood tests. Everything was sorted and the medical referred to Immigration (the last thing they were waiting for) a week ago! I spent last week constantly checking my email to see if our residency had been approved and every time there was no mail I would get anxious and more concerned. This just reminded me that I have to let go of the attachment I have to this happening in my time and celebrate how good it is to be in this country with a very happy hubby and daughter. The residency will come through at the perfect time – just like the rest of the journey did! Thanks Gabby for the reminder

    1. YES Carrie! Continue to trust and collaborate with the Universe. I love reading about your amazing journey. You’re doing beautiful work. <3

  29. Gabby, have you thought about writing a book about spirituality and money? How to change your mindset, how to receive, etc…

  30. Hi Gabby, feeling a bit shy to post. I’ve read some of your books and can’t wait for you to come to Australia! I’m attached to the idea of love and creating a life together with my partner. This is, if ever going to happen, so far away as we are both separated with kids. So much has to happen before we even meet each other’s family. I want to create a nest with my loved one. I will surrender and surrender more, maybe visualize and be grateful for everything else. Thank you for your spiritual material. It helps. What is the song that was playing at the start of the super attractor launch? So beautiful.

    1. Hi Rosie. I’m grateful that you shared here. It’s a beautiful sign that you are breaking through some blocks and opening up to experiencing some big shifts. Commit to practicing the steps in this blog each day and notice how you start to surrender and trust that inner guidance.

      The song that I played for the meditation is “Aud Guray Nameh” by Jai Jagdeesh. It is one of my favorites. XOX

  31. I’ve never identified HOW I am attached to the outcome of being healthier. That was eye opening. I realized that I am/have been allowing my identity to reside in my physical body and wellness journey; when I lose the weight and tone up…. then I’ll be a great health coach; people will want me to lead them then. People will be able to see what a great person I am when I look that way… My love partner will show up when I’m at my ideal weight because I’ll be ready for him then…

    Wow all of these things. This or something better. I surrender these attachments and I allow the Universe to show me, where to go and what to do. I surrender.

  32. Thank you gabby! I’ve been in my own way since the day I began my business, stuck in this endless place of lack & procrastination.

    I’ve never even thought about the toxic attachments that I have to everything. And the first thing that comes to mind is my lifelong feeling of being neglected, abandoned & never being enough… they’re all emotions that I attached myself to when I went through childhood trauma & i need to surrender, let go, stop trying to control & just allow. ❤️

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  33. I am fixated with the number of people coming to my class because it’s equals my income..
    But when I detach myself from this ‘money’ thought and just concentrate on my practice .. students seem to arrive anyhow..
    funny that!!!!

  34. Needed this today…thank you! Currently at a dark stage completely overwhelmed after being single for the past 10 years and turning 40 soon with no partner yet. Completely attached to the feeling and idea that it has to happen NOW or it will never happen.

    1. Bree, I encourage you to start by making one small change. Re-frame your thoughts and change the language you are using. Say to yourself, “I am proactively seeking my partner.” Focus on the things that bring you joy and have fun during the process. It feels good to feel good! Be who you are and embrace your authentic self. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes!! xoxo

      These posts may serve you:
      https://gabbybernstein.com/let-go-story-tell/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/true-authentic-self/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/special-relationships/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/valentines-day-ideas-single-relationship/

  35. Thank you for this Gabby. I am so excited about your new book! Any thoughts about an Australian book tour? Much love to you xxx

  36. really needed this! was a great read and helped me realize its what i need to start to practice. I have certain things in my life that i want to happen and i have been dwelling on them a lot lately, this was good to read that i need to start having faith that things will fall into place

    1. I had to see this. I’ve been so upset about my acting career. I always feel like I’m taking two steps forward and one step back. I keep trying to make it happen or land the job but nothing has really happened in 10 years for me. I feel like I’m up against time and it feels unfair. My career is the only thing I’ve ever truly wanted and I feel like I can’t have it. It feels like a constant pattern of blocks.

      1. Grateful that you connected here Paula. By committing to practicing the steps in this blog, you’ll open yourself up to experiencing some major shifts!

  37. Dear Gabby,
    My first child was due on Sunday, it is now Thursday. I am attached to the idea of him being here, born into my world, already. Today, with your help, I am letting go of the outcomes I was attached to and surrendering to the universe. Thank you!
    Much Love,
    Sara

  38. I’m not sure all that I want to say and I just know I need to say, Thank You! I have been on a 6 month unexpected/extended maternity leave due to experiencing postpartum mental and physical health challenges. During this time, I have found myself denying trust in anything, even myself to wholeheartedly awakened to the Universe around me and the trust that lies within. Being a licensed mental health therapist, this journey has been one of the hardest and most valuable experiences for my own alignment in order to advance my healing work with others. Your book and blog posts are a constant reminder in each moment I pick it up to read that this experience has a purpose and that trusting the Universe to guide my healing (with no attachment to the outcome) is healing in it of itself. I appreciate your love and sharing your guidance with all. Blessings!

    1. Thank you for this gorgeous, brave share Jenna. Grateful that these spiritual tools are supporting you on this healing journey. Sending lots of love and peace your way. <3

  39. Hi Gabrielle!

    How do you determine which pray to focus in a particular day. I have read universe has your back universe book which is fantastic, though unsure specifically what to focus on. Feel like they are all needed, though don’t want to confuse the universe with what’s going on.

    For example, on reflecting the above I acknowledge I need to release an outcome which is based on emotion. Do I focus on the pray from the above, plus your morning/ night meditations and manifesting. Looking forward to receive your new book too.

    1. Focus on what feels good! If there is a meditation in TUHYB that you connect with, start there. That can be your morning meditation. Combining a daily meditation with journaling immediately after is a lovely way to find your groove and feel into what works for you. XOX

  40. Hey Gabby!

    This is my first time ever to write in here. I would love to ask how detaching the outcome will let me start to see the miracles unfold?

    I have been letting go alot of things recently and I hardly grasp any miracles. Not to be negative though.

    1. Hi Paulina! It’s great to get clear about what you’re manifesting and calling into your life, meditating and praying for the highest good for all, and then surrendering your goals to the Universe. This allows the Universe to do its thing and for you to be in a place of peace and trust. In this place, things unfold in amazing, miraculous ways!

  41. Gabby, your words and writings have really resonated with me. I have always been a control freak – my career, body, schedules; anything I can control (and even those things I can’t), I spend my time obsessing over. It was not until I started listening to your audiobook The Universe Has Your Back, that I realized how this controlling energy was cutting off my connection to the universe and making me anxious, stressed, and sick. I am listening to this book for the third time as it has been life changing.
    I look forward to hearing you speak in Atlanta in November!
    With gratitude, Kristin

  42. Hello gabrielle
    I have this issue with not knowing what is the limit between letting go and putting more energy towards something you desire. I have struggle for the past year in anxiety to have a new job after a year past in a job that made me sick. And so it is hard for me to know where i belong. Anyways, I have found a job where the place/product interests me alot. However they require you most of the time to be available day night weekends …because of my past i know i don’t do well with that… but i did apply and made myself more avaible for all weekdays and all evening… regardless of the number of hours…even if wanting a more stable schedule and that if anything i could from time to time replace on the other availability. She said ok… i went to the interview with all my heart regardless of how i looked or even through my past to explain my 1 1/2 year gap. I told that i am always up front at first in order to respect the scedule and people( most people say they don’t mind but than call sick or leave ). She just was needing my references… being 2 years passed my manager had been gone and the only reference i had was one of a side manager to whom i had to send my picture. I send everything but no reply.. then another email … nothing 2 weeks i called her… the cause was my lack of availability… i don’t understand if i am guilty or if there’s better ( at this time i just don’t see since it was close home easy…) i am tired of the same rejection/confusion and having to neglect my respect just to do something that i can like. I have a bachelors and this is just a minimum wage job…

    1. Hi Cynthia. I love the mantra “this or something better”. If this isn’t your job, trust that there will be something better. In order to get into alignment so you can take amazing action steps towards connecting with that new job, commit to using the steps in this blog as part of your daily spiritual practice. This will help you feel grounded with more ease, so you can continue to to move forward and find the job for you.

  43. I continue to be truly inspired by you! Last night I listened to one of the meditations that I received from pre-ordering Super Attractor, a very powerful meditation, Guardian Angels. A great reminder that when I slow, when I get quiet, my absolute best can come out of me for myself, for my husband and kids and anyone else. My cup begins to overflow. Surrendering control is something I am consciously working on all the time. These meditations help me slow and be able to be comfortable and trust that everything is happening in divine timing, always. Thank you for your inspiration <3

  44. This is a piece of where I get confused around manifesting. It’s around letting go but still taking action. I get tangled there. For example, I have a goal of being debt free in 18 months. It’s a reasonable goal and timeline. I have a plan for doing it…and am open to other opportunities to present themselves and other ways of getting there. I think about it a lot and look at the numbers and rejig my plan accordingly. I feel like that’s taking action. But is it controlling and pulling me out of flow? And how do I tell?

    1. Manifesting involves getting clear on what you want, meditating and praying on it, and then releasing it to the Universe. When you release, you open yourself up to your dreams showing up in any way, often in ways we could never imagine. This absolutely involves taking aligned action. When you take action from an aligned place, you feel a sense of trust, excitement, and joy. But when you take action from a place of fear, you block the manifestation. XOX

      1. Perfect! That makes total sense. A few months ago I felt overwhelmed by my various debts and couldn’t see a way out. Now I feel excited and like it’s so easy I can’t figure out why I didn’t do it sooner! Thanks universe for showing me the way and bringing me the teachings I needed in each moment. Thanks to you too Gabby. You’re emails are so inspiring and always timely…even when I read them late or out of order. Love it!

  45. You are the BEST!!! I met you and your Mom at Kripalu a few years ago and look forward to see you in Boston. I am a life coach and I just wrote my first book for Balboa Press. Anyway, good luck on your tour and I’ll see you in Boston.

  46. I’m having a real struggle letting go of a relationship and moving on . Finding it tough to just let go and let things flow from there even though I know it’s what I must do .

    1. Thanks for this heartfelt, brave share. Be gentle and patient with yourself, while committing to practicing these steps. Incorporating them daily will open you up to a space of letting go and trusting your process.

  47. Gabby Namaskar
    I live in India so shall miss this amazing tour of yours.Is there any other way that I can see you live while you are on tour.
    My love and blessings and beautiful wishes for this new book launch.
    Stay blessed

  48. Thank you so much for your lovely email I’m going to try it and look forward to reading more from you I could take all you said on board ❤️❤️Xx

  49. I so needed to read this. I’m ready to detach for my need to have permanent work in a particular team.

    Happiness is my new outcome. I am happy.

    “I surrender this attachment, and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do.”

    Thank you Gabby.

  50. I am trying to surrender but having a hard time detaching because I am unemployed and don’t know how I’m going to pay for things. I have a few exciting prospects and am hopeful but hard to release when my livelihood is dependent

  51. Having a really hard detaching from the outcome right now. I do not have a job and am out of money. Hard to release potential prospects when my livelihood is dependent

    1. Thanks for bravely showing up here. It’s especially important to be loving with yourself during this time. Practicing the steps in the blog and really committing to them, will help you to take aligned action in moving forward rather than taking action from a place of fear and lack. Sharing here is a sign that you are open to some big shifts. I believe in you!

  52. Gabby your book The Universe Has Got Your Back came into my life a few months ago and the shifts have been amazing. I keep returning to love. Thankyou!

  53. I only found out about you recently when a friend recommended I read your book to learn how to let stuff go. You’re helping me a lot. Thank you!

  54. A card from the new deck that I really really want! Awesome! Thanks for this post Gabby! The largest type of detachment that I need to make is from financial stress. However, I am working on it. Going to check out your related posts now ☺

    1. Awesome Ari! Showing up here and sharing is a beautiful sign that you are ready and open for some big shifts!

  55. I’ve been obsessing over the outcome of a particular goal I have. I’ve recently started a business, and have set a goal for August that I really want to achieve. I’ve done everything I can to make this goal happen, and every day I try and surrender the outcome, yet every day I obsess over whether or not it will happen how I envision it, what I’ll do if I dont make it, etc. This is a tough process, and I know what you mean when you say this doesn’t come naturally, that we have to practice. For my part, after reading this blog tonight, I put your prayer above into my calendar and set a reminder to go off every hour, so I look at it and say the prayer, and it reminds me to let go. I’m also trying to stay in the moment, to notice what’s around me, really listen to conversations and to be where I am instead of future tripping. It’s taking a lot of reminders, but I believe it’ll be worth it!!

    1. Beautiful Joy. Keep showing up for yourself and be loving to yourself as you continue to implement these tools. Know that it’s a process and make sure to celebrate even the small successes. Those small steps add up to a big impact. You’re doing great! XOX

  56. I needed to hear this as I feel in need to control my family my way, instead I should let them be them & let them learn & grown❤️

  57. Attached to any outcomes is truly exhausting. Practicing detachment is not easy but worth trying. Thank you, Gabby, for teaching, serving and supporting many people with your heart pouring in every of your works and dedication. Keep teaching and sharing with us.

  58. I’m attached to the outcome of a long distance relationship that I’m in and obsessing over. It’s throwing my whole frequency off.

    1. Gina, I encourage you to continue to practice these steps in the blog daily, applying them to YOU. Clarity comes from feeling grounded, feeling joy, and trusting the journey. Know that the Universe has a beautiful plan in store for you. Sharing here is a sign that you are open to feeling and seeing it. XO

  59. I just started getting over clinging to results in my business growth and I find this article by one of my fav teachers 🙂 . I found myself really clinging to my clients results, my ability to deliver (future tripping) and mainly my financial growth. I recognized I was out of alignment as I had suddenly developed this *pressure* feeling that wasn’t there a few months ago and realized I was trying to stress over the plan of my business growth vs just getting into action and going for it. What’s your favorite way to release pressure when it comes to taking action? Surrender?

  60. Thank you! I’m learning to detach myself from the outcome of what a salty will afford in my life and families life. I’ve been hung-up on my prior 6-figure salary and what I love about my life to-day is the ability to be joyful in my coach career while being present in the lives of our two daughters , husband, aging parents, father in law, friends and family. Thank you for all you share to bring us the feeling!

  61. I have to move again soon. I’m an artist and have been living the past few years as a global traveler, doing art residencies. But in the place I want to have as my homebase it’s difficult to find the right living and working space that’s available and affordable. I have applied for some exciting residencies that start next year, but have to wait to hear back to see if I’m accepted. And I’m also looking to add an additional partner but it’s been hard to find the right one. It feels like everything is up in the air at the moment and stressful. I have been meditating, and fluctuate between feeling fine, feeling excited, and feeling stressed and unsure.

    1. You are doing great Terry! It’s amazing to hear about and witness all this movement in your life. While it can be unsettling to have so many balls in the air, continue to take aligned action, use the spiritual tools from this blog, and trust that you are moving in a beautiful direction.

  62. I know for a fact I am QUITE attached to my weekend plans and my daily schedules. After learning from my mentors to plan things out hour by hour, I end up trying to stick to it, but I then sabotage myself and get upset and lose joy if things aren’t done when I wanted.
    For example, this past weekend, I had planned to watch Avengers and play Cashflow 202 with my family, friends, and GF…when it didn’t happen on time, i WAS UPSET.
    But the inner me just kept saying to let go…LET GO. I hear this beautiful voice inside every time I am flustered, and it seems to calm me.

    I also had to go back and re read Universe and several other books because I am stressed that my GF isn’t living here with me yet…I KNOW the Universe is leading her here, but I also know I need more FAITH in the Goddess and in spirit in order to let go. In the meantime though, I have learned to keep staying positive, joyful and loving..it’s what attracted my dream partner to me in the first place…Heck, we’re even launching a dating brand together (coaching for those who need confidence…coaching them to find their dream partners). It all starts with surrender!

    1. You’re doing great Brian! Sharing here is an amazing sign that you are in fact in the process of some amazing surrender. Remember to be extra loving and forgiving to yourself, and in that place of self love the letting go will come.

  63. Hi gabby
    My biggest thing that stoping me from attracting things to my life is that I don’t believe in myself, I meditate and relax but still doubt myself.
    How do I work towards self doubt and low self-esteem?
    P.S: Can’t wait to read your book

  64. This is perfect timing for me, I am in the process of selling my property and buying my next home. I realise I am obsessing about the house I have seen and identified as my desired new home . I am trying to do all the recommended things but there is an underlying doubt that keeps bubbling around my buyer not coming soon enough and my losing my desired house. I am using prayer, creative visualisation and meditating.
    Really confused now and not clear what to do.

    1. Thanks for showing up here Kirsten. Sharing here is a great step in releasing the resistance and desire to try to control. Use the steps from this blog daily, especially as you go through the selling and buying process, and commit to showing up for yourself and practicing them. Make these spiritual tools a priority, which will help you bring in a sense of ease and release.

  65. Coming to see you at Attune is something I’d been trying so hard to figure out a way to make happen.. I’d try to let it go but there’s so many reminders and I couldn’t stop thinking about how I could Make it happen.. (the crazy chance that I’m living in Dubai but just happen to be in Costa Rica that same week, a 4hr flight away.. But Attune slightly crosses over with the reason I’ll be in costa rica).. It’s consuming my thoughts and my energy, I’m trying to do it all, at the same time (I’ve relistened to your Jan MM).. until now I’ve had to let it go, for my own good (although it’s still in the back of my mind).. I say the prayer.. and trust that some day this or something better will come my way xo

  66. I feel attached to feeling fulfilled. I have lived my life to be convenient for everyone else and now I feel so far from where I want to be. I’m so financially in the hole I can’t breathe and I can’t see how I’ll ever have the career i dream of. For 7 1/2 years I have been a student of the law of attraction and I feel like the last few have been a constant paddle upstream. I’m so attached to the need for absolute peace that I feel like I keep pushing it away. I’m more attached to my fear than I want to be. Over the last few days I’ve been finding myself feeling as if I’m holding my breath and forgetting to breathe.

    1. First, let’s take some deep breaths together here. Second, I see a major “aha” moment in what you shared about living your life for everyone else, rather than showing up for what makes you feel good. Start exactly there. Keep it simple. What makes you feel good? What brings you joy? Your aligned action steps are to incorporate at least one thing a day that totally lights you up. Make that a priority each day and get ready to see some big shifts.

  67. I have dreamed of being a nurse for fourteen years. I was accepted into a nursing school three years ago, but had to give up my spot due to health issues. I have been so attached to that dream that I have refused to do anything else. Now, my youngest is off to school and I REALLY want to focus on myself and my career. I want to surrender my attachment of becoming a nurse to the universe, and see what else the universe may have planned for me.

    1. Thanks for this gorgeous share Jennifer. It sounds like divine timing. Try practicing the steps in this blog for at least a month, and really commit to showing up for yourself in loving ways. Get ready for some amazing shifts. Excited for what’s ahead for you! <3

  68. Oh Gabby, I’m trying – I am really trying but I just cannot shake the fear driving me to control the outcome! I pray. I meditate. I surrender. I am still so scared that if I don’t find a job, soon, I won’t be able to pay rent. How do you surrender when you have issues surrounding money and livelihood that feel like they are a ball and chain dragging you down. It’s a double edged sword – I don’t want to be in the field I am anymore, I am so miserable but I don’t have the money to ‘take the plunge’ and ‘try something new’. How do you surrender when you are this terrified?

    1. My blog on money and manifesting touches on this exact feeling. I recommend committing to practicing the steps in this blog for the next month: https://gabbybernstein.com/money-manifesting-clear-blocks-abundance/. It will help you to get into energetic alignment so that when you take real world action in getting a job and making money, you will be in a place of attraction. Showing up here is brave and bold and a sign that you are ready to make big changes!

  69. When I have truley been able to detach things have worked out effortlessly and even better than I’d imagined !

    And though I can recall some of these wonderful instances – it is now that I am
    Reinventing my life’s work and need for new connections that I am having difficulty …. I will keep coming back to these exercises – thanks !

  70. I want to be honest about my attachment. I have been obsessing about getting back together with my ex. I am so attached to him being the one I get to marry that I haven’t been able to attract anyone else.

    1. Thanks for this honest and brave share Patricia. Saying it out loud and writing here is a beautiful step in surrender. Continue to practice these steps daily and know that there is an amazing future ahead for you.

  71. I think you and I are align all the time. I did this yesterday and then it is today in my inbox. So powerful and release tremendous unnecessary stress that was taking my health down and all around me. I was in that mode for almost 5 months until yesterday I made up my mind that not anymore and notice immediately how my body stomach acids changed. You are a true STAR on EARTH

  72. Hey Gabby Thank you for sharing this post. My question to you is how do I go about this specific sinario. I am due to go in for reconstructive surgery to remove my lapband that is making me severly sick. I am super excited, and greatful to Gd to be able to relieve my body of this foreign object that has caused me emotional pain and physical sufferring however currently the surgical coordinating team has not given me a specific date. Im not so concerned about that date as I am to take care of other things like registering for my masters program at university out of state. Which will include me to travel as well as when to begin my liquid diet 2 weeks prior to my surgery. I want this to be a smooth transition and one that is light and filled with so much love and not replay the painful experience I had 4 years ago preparing for my first surgery. I guess I see how I maybe controlling the outcome but my main goal is for it to be tender and loving not the emotional wreck havoc I had the first time around thats all and mostly to step into my power and honor my desires for continuing education and celebrating the miracle of me not being limited by my parental beliefs of my waistline is keeping me from being successful in life.

    1. I love what you wrote about being tender and loving to yourself during this process. Showering yourself with deep self love, patience, and acceptance will allow you to be in that place of surrender and assist in your recuperation process. While you take care of your pre-procedure duties, use the mantra “I am tender and loving to myself”. Practice saying it in the mirror and be open to some big shifts. Sending you tons of love and healing. XOX

  73. Wow. This message showed up just after my prayer this morning. I have been struggling with making peace in my heart with the current status of a relationship. I know that I need to let go of my timeline and how things will happen–and trust. Your message was a reminder that the “outcome” belongs to God; “obedience” …to simply “be” and follow the path belongs to me. This will a part of my daily prayer practice. Thank you!

  74. Hi Gabby! How do we detach and take action when what we want involves the coming together with someone we love…but are not yet in a relationship? I’m “involved” with someone but he’s just come out of a 7 year relationship and doesn’t want to jump into another…needs time to air out. Fair enough.
    Now things are just let with us. Feels like a pause button but no clarity. We care about eachother a lot but I have major attachment to the outcome and anxiety/fear he will
    meet someone else in this time.
    I know what’s meant for me will be mine but qoulylove your advise on this letting go when it’s someone you love and want a future with.

    Thanks!!!

    1. Continue to practice these steps daily, applying them to YOU. Clarity comes from feeling grounded, feeling joy, and trusting the journey. Know that the Universe has a beautiful plan in store for you. Sharing here is a sign that you are open to feeling and seeing it.

  75. Hi Gabby:

    I have two questions. First, when you say “Universe” are you actually meaning to say “God” as in personal, loving Intelligence? Because quite frankly, if you have ever gone sailing or rock climbing, you soon realize that Mother Nature is pretty indifferent to your hopes and aspirations. She will kill u as well as support you without batting an eye.

    Also, programs like yours kinda scare me away, because of your emphasis on visualizing. I can’t visualize worth a darn. So what about us nonvisualizers.

    Thank u much.

    I did buy your book BTW.

    Mark Rossano
    Stevens Point, Wisconsin

    1. Hi Mark! I consider the Universe to be the same as God, Source, and love. It’s the ever-present energy of love within us and around us. This source of love is there to guide us whenever we are aligned with it. It’s great to know what you don’t like and what doesn’t work for you. Contrast is extremely helpful. What does work for you, inspire you, and help you tap into feeling good and grounded? While guided meditation often involves visualization, many forms of meditation do not include visualization at all. Journaling and breathing exercises might also be amazing resources for you.

  76. I am Launching for what feels like the 20th time, my program. I see What my database numbers are and I get Very analytical. X subscribers x #% industry standard= I should make/convert this. Then it bombs. I’ve done affirmations in releasing negative feelings towards my programs due to this.

    1. Hi Kris. Thanks for showing up here. Let’s decide together in the here and now that this old pattern is not coming with you moving forward. If that feels untrue for you and too abstract, commit to practicing the steps in this blog every day for the next month. Truly commit to them, make it a priority, and you’ll be making yourself and your business a priority. Be open to all the big and even small shifts that will start to show up.

  77. Hi Gabby, every morning even before I roll out of bed one of the prayers I say is “Jesus where will I go, what will I do and what will I say and to whom”. I have been doing this for a while. I feel as though something really big is coming this way. Also I am enjoying where I am and what I am doing. Bernie

  78. I asked for help with being detached the outcome. I was told to look at my emails. You are my answer.

    Also whenever I hear or see an Owl I think of you.

    So looking forward to your book arriving at my door in Johannesburg South Africa. I am your biggest fan in South Africa and A Course in Miracles student. Love you and so does my daughter NINA

    God bless you

    Wendy

    1. This came to me on the right time. I always surrender my outcome regarding my exams, but somedays the ego just backlashes. i am trying to be more focused,and to completely surrender my studies and the exact results i want to the universe. I know i am succeeding in this. But i always struggle with my obsession towards growing my hair long,i feel like i am controlling every moment of it by checking the lenght,doing this that everything. Even though i know i am controlling i am not able to release this little issues.

      1. Sharing here is a lovely sign that you are open to releasing this. Begin to incorporate the steps in this blog into your daily life. As you do, you’ll start to notice little shifts as well as big changes. Be open to all the ways that the miracles can show up once you allow yourself to surrender. <3

  79. I find it INCREDIBLY difficult to let go of outcomes when it comes to the wellbeing and physical health of my family…I want everyone to be happy and healthy so badly, that I start preaching to everyone about letting go of certain habits (caffeine, sugar, etc.), and even start controlling what products are available in the household by throwing certain items out, making sure that other items are more visible and more easily available or refusing to participate in family gatherings where these things may be present…

    Is there a way to get everyone to opt-in for healthier habits, without being neurotic about it or otherwise creating tension? At this point, it feels like a zero-sum game between having a warm, happy, accepting vibe around the household and maintaining healthy habits.

    Sending love from Cape Town ^^

    1. Most people don’t respond the way we want, when we tell them what to do 😉 Instead, try being the light! Lead by example and let your excitement and enthusiasm be front and center! Be a mirror for them, shining your bright light. <3

  80. A few years ago I lost my oldest closest friend to tragic circumstances and 3 months later my mother lost her battle with cancer, in this period I also realised the person I was in love with didn’t truly love me, all of these situations led me to a dark place as I delay with my grief for 2 people I was closest to in the world and were always there for me, and tried to separate myself for a toxic relationship. I sought help from professionals and re-found a love of yoga and have been looking for new enlightened paths to help my growth spiritually. However I must admit I do continue to feel lost and alone and that I failed in all areas of life especially as I am now heading toward my late thirties. I made a snap decision to change jobs to get away from the toxic person who I was in love with and to try and change my life, however this company and role isn’t for me and has only added to my feelings of failure. I have been trying to manifest a change in career for myself but I seem to be blocking it as it’s been over 12 months. I am attaching myself to this situation and in doing so I feel my anxiety and stress levels continue to rise as I see no changes within my life. I surrender this attachment, and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do.

    1. I deeply hold this intention for you Anna and appreciate you sharing your brave story here from such a heartfelt place. Continue to use your spiritual practices, get the help and support from loved ones and professionals, and trust your path. If it feels aligned, try the steps in this blog, committing to them for the next month and be open to some big shifts in allowing you to surrender. Sending you lots of love, healing, and peace.

  81. Wow… I needed it right now.
    I’m attached to outcomes… and I really obsessed sometimes about outcomes… and it’s frustrating and tiring.

    Thank you… I will try change…

    Namaste

  82. Once again very timely for me!
    I’m realising g after reading your post; the bit I was missing was being satisfied with ‘what is’
    I can see now that is key.
    Thanks for this wonderful and very timely insight
    Hugs Mandy x

  83. Oh thanks Gabby! I hope all is well in your world and Oliver is delighting in doing whatever new thing he’s mastering at the moment. Wonderful timing as always…I’ve been reading and re-reading your blog about making big decisions as I’m about to put an offer in on a home, and I’m anxious about what to offer as a past offer wasn’t high enough for the previous place I was interested in, and I missed out. Totally trusting obstacles are detours in the right direction….however I was still not feeling joyful after turning over the decision….this post was just what I needed after my morning meditation! Attachment surrendered, praying for the highest good for all and trusting the universe has a plan far greater than mine. Now to feel excited and happy about the experience and how lucky I am to be able to buy a home for my daughter and myself! I love the synchronicity and signs, already had a few the past few days (I’m remembering them now!)….lets see how much fun I can have with the universe!

    1. You’re awesome Karina! Love hearing about how these tools are supporting and inspiring you! Sending lots of love to you and your daughter and excited for what’s ahead! <3

  84. I’m struggling to let 2 work situation go. One is after brain tumour surgery I have made a few mistakes and my boss won’t let it go. Still recovering from surgery. Second was told eventually will be made redundant. I love my job and don’t want it to change. How do I let go. It plays on my mind 24/7. Jackie

  85. I said to the universe this morning that I need some help with surrendering as I’ve felt stuck lately. Opened my inbox when I got to work and look what I found 🙂 Thank you Gabby!

  86. Continuing my journey of detachment today i removed a most precious object from my God box .. It was a card from my ex which said ‘ to my perfect boyfriend with all my love forever’ .. I can not overestimate how precious this is to me. After a week in my god box it was time to surrender this card as part of deepest desire and the faith to surrender to the universe. I held the card over a flame and it would not hardly burn, the flame was constant but the card would only scorch in the corner.. It is now back in my God Box (that was my instinct)
    I am commited to detachment and surrender
    I am unsure as to my next move, do i take it as a sign (once again my feeling) or destroy the card by another method ?

    1. I honor you for committing to surrendering outcomes. If you don’t want to burn it, you could flush the paper. Check out chapter 11 in my book, The Universe Has Your Back for more guidance. Continuing to make surrender a daily practice will serve you as well. Expect miracles.

  87. Having been split up from my fiancee for around 6 weeks now( serious negative life dip as my mothers funeral was only 3 days before we split) I have been meditating and affirmation self work. Asking for signs ( waterfall) that I will once again be in a loving relationship with her. These signs have come more than once and I now realise I have been obsessing over the end result, repeating manifestation rituals and willing the phone to ring/ text ping. This is draining my positive vibrations & I feel I need to detach , let it go and generally trust the universe and give it the space to do its thing.
    Gabby short video and prayer will help I am sure ! Living in the moment is key and detaching from the negative energy if the past.

    1. Glad to witness this shift Mark. It can be very difficult to let go of our need to control and to trust in the Universe. When you ask for guidance and pray for the highest good, the Universe gets to work. What unfolds for you may not be what you expected or thought you wanted — but it will ultimately be even better. These posts may also serve you:

      https://gabbybernstein.com/special-relationships/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/secret-asking-universe-sign-trusting-guidance-receive/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/new-blog-super-soul-sessions-talk-5-steps-spiritual-surrender/

      1. Thank you so much . Over these last two days i feel i have connected with the universe finally understanding why people believe in god (my logical mind could not make sense) but energy and vibration i now get and be it God or the universe it really doesnt matter .. My Trust and Belief is here.
        Love and best wishes to everyone may your journey be a beautiful one

  88. Hi Gabby!
    I am from India. I want to detach from these two desires of mine
    1. My husband should get an opportunity to work with Dr Wunder in Canada and if possible we settle there. He is a kind, dedicated and hard working soul who deserves this 10000%. Whenever he starts settling somewhere, he starts getting his share of fame, the platform is snatched from him suddenly. Universe has done wrong on his part.
    2. I really want my very dear friend to come back who recently broke friendship with me.

    I anm trying hard to detach these two wishes, but instead obsessing with them now..

    1. In order to manifest the reality we want, we must be in an energy of detachment. In this energy, we become willing to allow and receive. If surrendering to the Universe is feeling challenging at first, try incorporating a daily prayer or meditation practice into your routine. <3

  89. So about six months ago at the age of 38 I’ve decided to go to med school, I had a safe option of being accepted to one med school and then at the same time as I was coming up with this life changing decision the guy from my past appeared and opened another option of studying in Italy where he is also… long story short, 4 months of hard work preparing for the exam in which I didn’t get the right score so I went with my first choice, meanwhile decided that this guy wasn’t right for me so I ended the contact… and when I finally let go, and said” Universe if it’s not meant to be please help me let it go, I surrender “ three days later I got the news that I was accepted…. so I am here, in a beautiful Naples, Italy and I’m a bit stressed and excited and anxious but I know that the Universe is my guide and everything is working out for the best:)

  90. I’m attaching myself to the outcomes of several things: doing household chores as fast as possible and as much as possible, doing the spiritual work I need in order to release old romantic relationships to be ready for a new relationship, being outside everyday and walking a long walk everyday even if I don’t really feel like it, having better and more fun friendships. I’m blocking myself in different ways: I have a LOT of planning thoughts about the future, around half of them are about today. I think about what I should do next, and after that and after that. Then the other half is about the further future: I should really go to that kundalini yoga class, say this to that person when I see them, go on vacation, do this and that on vacation. It is annoying me really much! Today I decided to forgive my planning thoughts immediately starting this morning every time one comes up and I already notice after a few hours that it feels so good! I feel lighter and my energy is staying at a normal good level. I give up my attachment to planning and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do. It’s so interesting to see how BIG this attachment is, it’s also funny at times, but also sad. I know now I have lost a lot of my precious energy in the past. SO: Today I take the commitment to Change. I offer this up to the Universe and let her guide me. Love, Thank you Gabby.

  91. I’ve just found that post because I picked your card “the moment that I embrace my peace within and surrender the outcome is the moment that the Universe can truly work” fropm my deck.
    I picked this card because I was asking help and guidance about a relationship that hasn’t turned the way I wanted.

    I was needy, oh so needy, and somehow, becoming friends with that person, receiving attention from them, and above all “special” marks of affection was something I wanted… to make me feel good about myself.

    Of course, I like that person ! Of course, they have qualities that resonate with me and appeal to my true heart. But this is not the reason why I have obsessed with that outcome.
    Their not being available at all has brought me to deal with my neediness. I realize that I was feeling like such an unsignificant person, so mundane, so not-enough that my assignment in life was do meet great persons, share great moments and do great things to COMPENSATE my not-being-enough. Wow. Tis such a harsh judgement about myself…

    Now I want to heal that completely. And this becomes my new goal. And it’s an outcome I can easily surrender !

  92. Let the Universe / God do her thing?? Whether you attached or detached, the U/G has the power to create the circumstances. Not everyone gets treated the same by the U/G. You can beg, cry, be happy or not. If the U/G wants to give you it will. Many people think its their fault, in many cases its the set up of U/ G. The one that is devilish, can still live a good life, experience favourable circumstances and not suffer. Many people go through life experiencing 95% of positive circumstances and believe they have this tremendous faith, No! their faith is based on never really felt the sting of bad circumstances so they constantly live in Happy happy happy La la land!. & can easily detach because most of their needs are met, While for the others its nothing but misery and pain, hanging on for some relief of Life 95% negative energy, I have experienced 95% of negativity in my 40 yrs of existence. Everything I have desired, wanted or worked towards I never received it or had much, while I saw others have the full working of it, well long after I have detached from it.
    Ive come to the conclusion, in my personal experience. The More War I Want, the More Peace I Get. The U/G works backwards for some.

    1. I am so sorry to hear that you have experienced a lot of difficulty. I know this must be extremely challenging for you and I want you to know I am holding you in my prayers. When we are on a spiritual path and aligning ourselves with the loving energy of the Universe, we are definitely not shielded from obstacles, traumatic events or negativity in our lives. However, I believe wholeheartedly that our spiritual faith helps us to move through these situations with grace, knowing we are supported and guided toward the highest good for all. I’m sending you love and light on your path. Please let me know if you would love more resources. xo

  93. I am obsessing over the outcome of the situation with a guy I’ve known for a while who isn’t actively looking for a relationship due to self goals. I totally think this is fair but need to surrender the outcome and know that if we are meant to be more than friends, then it will happen. 🙂

    1. Mikayla, I am so inspired by your words and I honor you for witnessing your behavior and committing to surrendering outcomes. I love to make surrender a daily practice, and I think that it will serve you as well. Check out my 5 steps to spiritual surrender for guidance. 🙂 Expect miracles.

  94. Hi, Gabby :

    I feel like committing suicide because I am not experiencing instant gratification; I am 36 and I am going to be 40 in four years, I feel like I am far behind in life and my life does not have any value anymore. I feel like no matter the efforts that I am making to be successful I am not going far enough, sometimes I even wonder why I exist.

    1. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, please call 911 or go to an emergency room immediately. I am so sorry you’re going through such a difficult time, but please know that light and joy await you. You can also call the national suicide helpline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255. Sending you love and light.

  95. I’m obsessed with the outcome of moving into my college dorm room- being such a control freak about it & blocking my connection with my new roommate!

  96. Hi Gabby, I know this is an old post, hope you are still reading. Love your last book and I am now doing the 40 days program of May Cause Miracles. Recently my relationship with my partner has ended and in every meditation, in every prayer, he keeps coming up on my mind and heart. I want to get back with him but don’t think that’s an option. I’m trying to surrender and ask for the better good but I can’t lie to the universe… God knows everything, what’s the point of praying asking for the better good when in my head everything I can think of is to come back with him… ?

    Please help me! Thank you for being you xx

    1. Flo, I feel you. You can simply pray for relief. Ask God to help you heal. Honor your feelings and ask for guidance. You will receive it. The journey may be slow but you have already taken a massive step – you are willing. xox

  97. For the past year or so, I have been so attached to some goals which I thought were given to me by specifically requested signs from the Universe. Because I have become so obsessed with these goals, I feel these now once pleasing and fulfilling goals which made me happy are now becoming a source of anxiety and fear as they are not happening in my timeline. While I surrender and follow some of the basic teachings, I am unsure whether to scrap my goals completely or just surrender how I would prefer these goals to play out. Perhaps I am still new to the thought process and mindset – but any advice would help!

  98. Thank you so much for this Gabby! Everyone talks about “needing to detach from the outcome”, or your preferred/expected outcome, but I rarely see anyone talk about the HOW. I personally don’t have any issues with any other areas of manifesting (at least nothing major that I know of, lol), some things just come natural for me.
    However, detachment is something that is a bit of a challenge for me because my mind is active 24/7 & most of my life I’ve had a need to control, something that I feel may have stemmed from being adopted when I was 3. I’m now 32, soon to be 33 in May. I’ve been on a journey of awakening & awareness for the last year that REALLY took off after my dad passed from lung cancer in November. Its kind of caused me to look back & see how many times needing to control everything in my life has created so much stress, frustration & anxiety for me! As well as rarely achieving the desired outcome, or at least something similar & the rare times that I have accomplished something after trying to control it, realizing how stressed & worn out I would feel afterward!

  99. I am 32 years old and in a very rocky relationship. We’ve been together for 10 years now and I know I love him, but we have a lot of fights and many times make each other unhappy. I always knew I wanted to have kids before I turned 30, but it hasn’t happened yet – we are not even trying as we are still trying to figure out if we really want to be together. For the last couple of months the hormones started to take over and I started having anxiety attacks that I won’t be able to have children anymore. I am agonizing whether to stay longer in the relationship and have a chance to have kids with him or leave and start looking for someone else, but I know it won’t be easy with the ticking clock pressure. I know I should let go of the idea of having children and just surrender to whatever the universe has for me, but it is such a heartbreaking process.

  100. I am obsessed with my husband’s effort to quit smoking. I see that with my constant asking and nagging I do the opposite of supporting him and I give negative energy to him in this difficult time. I want to surrender and give him the time and space he needs to come clear for this change.

  101. Hi,
    Detachment! Of course.
    I work on a yearly sales goal plan. All year, I meditated on making my goal for 2016. In December, I was getting very close. I did subagh kriya daily, I worked my ass off, and I asked for a sign – an owl – that it would manifest. I saw lots of Owls in the next few days. December 31st rolls around and I’m 5% shy.
    I guess I was so hung up on it that I blocked it from happening?

    1. The key to the Law of Attraction is the Art of Allowing. Much of the work is to truly allow. Manifesting is far more about your energy than it is about your actions. I suggest your redirect your focus off of what you’re “doing” and onto how you’re “being.” Also, practice taking spiritually aligned action. Only take action when you feel truly connected to spirit. xo

  102. I just watched this. I get your videos in my email box but felt I needed something extra today and wanted a video rather than turning to one of your books. I was drawn to this video and was washing dishes as I listened. Suddenly something just came into my head and I realised I had let go of the outcome but hadn’t realised that was why I felt so much better about it. It is something really big in my life so I instantly got your message. Letting go outcomes is the core of my stress. Now I know what to work on

  103. I do not know how to surrender. I can’t surrender. I don’t get it. This is something that I’ve struggled with ever since discovering LOA and Dr. Wayne Dyer 5 years ago. I see and read about other people setting goals and then achieving those goals. Why can’t I? Are they detaching – is that why they’re achieving their greatest goals and desires and I’m not? I do not understand at all.

  104. I listen to your interviews almost every morning while working out at 5 a.m.
    I am for sure the 57 year old male version of you.

    I love public speaking as well! sharing my story is what I do best.

    Have an amazon best seller The Titan- which contains principles on how to deal with “the spin” in life.

    Thanks for the inspiration!!

  105. I am trying really hard to embrace this concept of surrender and let go of outcomes. Currently I am living with my boyfriend who blindsided me with a break up 2 months ago. He goes back and forth between a concrete answer of not getting back together and not knowing the outcome. I also am struggling with forgiving him and myself for our current situation , as I had fallen into a bout of depression which he took very personally and is harboring a lot of resentment towards me for. We started a great life together and suddenly now feels I don’t align with what he sees for himself. I know my obsessing over the outcome and analyzing every interaction with him his blocking me from manifesting my desire which is us being able to grow and move forward together with our relationship.

  106. What a blessing to have happened upon this -not so- by chance! The power of surrender and also the patience that goes with it. I am currently struggling with my long time boyfriend who refuses to quit smoking, despite my many pleas and prayers, which then gave birth to a great deal of other underlying issues within our relationship (how easily this happens!). I will continue to pray using this mantra as I want desperately to let go of the outcome with the knowledge that all that is needed is already on its way. Any advice for how to approach the smoking issue? Drop it all together? With light and love all the way from the beautiful Philippines 🙂

  107. I’ve been unemployed since Feb. I have job applications out and I’ve been reaching out to every contact I can find. Anxiety arises when I don’t get responses. I want to trust that the right job will come along at the right time.

  108. Gabby I’m such a huge fan. Your book came into my life as it was falling apart, but actually I can see now the universe was showing me the way. After asking the universe for help and a clear sign for months and praying and asking my husband left me ( after years of a difficult marriage) and I lost my job all in 6 weeks. I realise now I was stagnating in both. It’s been a heartbreaking year but I seek solace in knowing the universe is showing me the way. I since got a job at a leading women’s magazine as a writer and am now writing my first book that I know I will publish and reference you in it! It’s been a hard year, so hard but I know the universe has my back. You’re an angel and I want to personally Thankyou for be the shining light on so many of us x

  109. I have been so anxious and stressed about the outcome/reaction of a close colleague when I tell her I won’t be working with her anymore. Previously they have lashed out in anger when I didn’t live up to their expectation and I have been scared witless to tell her face to face of this change (I’m terrible at face to face conversations) particularly when we will be then working together alone for the next few weeks. I know that her reaction is not on me, and I justneed to let it go and trust things will continue to unfold as they need to…

  110. I have been obsessing over the outcome of my relationship with my boyfriend of 8 months. I must surrender this to GOD, and just live in the moment.

  111. I am trying to detach from the fear of letting myself loose and I am starting to trust myself without having to ‘control’ myself cause this way I never allow joy in my life and blessings assigned to me to come to me cause I am blocking them by constantly believing I am wrong I will be doing it wrong – whatever it is – and I am blaming myself for it. I am starting to detach myself from blaming myself for being myself and I am respecting the place I am and the time I need to grow …

  112. I have a dream of buying a house in the Hollywood Hills. I don’t have the income yet to afford it, but I go to open houses every day. I’ve been to 24 homes this year. I fell absolutely in love with one recently. It feels like “my house,” so much so, that it pains me that I can’t purchase it right now. I use the address as passwords and look at pictures of it every night before bed. One of the pictures is my desktop background. I would say this certainly qualifies as “obsessed with a specific outcome.” I must let go of this house. I must surrender. <3

  113. I needed this so much today that I watched it twice! It’s been my passion to have an organization to foster conversations about how our ever-accelerating technology is impacting our world and how we can get out of our silos of industry to cross-collaborate to create a better future for people and the planet. So I created BRINK Institute as a platform for community to gather, share ideas and collaborate. I’m hosting my 2nd gathering of 100 luminaries (on a private island in the British Virgin Island, the location was a miracle in itself). Now, I’m obsessing about how to reach the perfect people to come and participate and feel like I’ve got an incessant clock ticking in my head, will they have enough time to work out their travel logistics, what do I need to do, who do I need to talk to, etc.. So today I surrendered, and invited 1600 of my personal contacts, and I’m trusting that the universe will put together the perfect blend of people, with the perfect amount of time to come because #theuniversehasmyback! Can’t wait for the miracles, I’ll keep you posted!

    1. That’s incredible! It’s so beautiful to see how you are sharing your light with the world. Rock on sister! xo

  114. In 1991, universe/god/dess told me to write, I didn’t listen, I wasn’t interested in writing. I made a perturbed Muppet face, and kind of shrugged. Many years passed and still I didn’t listen. In 2014, I saw you in Austin at the “I can do it” conference (lucky enough to see Dr. Dyer before…he transitioned over) and I knew I had to write about it, I felt it, but still I didn’t want to. I ended up leaving Texas and moving back to Mass (trying to make this short) fell into a deep depression, spent two years in and out of psych hospitals for depression and suicidal ideation. Fast forward, I am currently depression free on top of a mountain in Puerto Rico, assembling a life that I want to live. Been here about six weeks or less, and haven’t stopped writing, it’s not even a choice, I just feel better when I do it. Saw your book, preordered it in ten seconds or less, read it 2 times, I’m on my 3rd now and have been so on fire for living on a higher frequency dancing with universe. There is no turning back. I’ve got five grandchildren to fix this ancestral lineage for. Soooo I’ve been writing like crazy, deep, vulnerable, raw work, and I guess I expected that if I listened to source/universe, there would be like a universal ‘tell’, a flock of people would hit up my blog and say how wonderful it is. (laughs) that’s pure ego. I recognized it as I typed it. So I’m to write and let go of the outcome. I will begin the mantra now and keep using it. Did I answer my own question or do you have something profound to add? This is what happens when I write, I get understanding of the instructions. I get the instructions when I meditate, and understand them when I write. SMH, confusing shit. Anyway, any insight you might have would be greatly appreciated!! (from one New Yawkah to another)

    sat nam!!

  115. This video came at the perfect time (thank you universe)! It’s so much more enjoyable to live in the moment. I always feel so much more joy when I just let go and surrender. However, I get so caught up in “the end” that I find it so challenging to let it all go. Thank you for this video! Will be practicing this.

  116. I needed to hear this today! I’m selling my childhood home and moving to another house. I got to this point by surrendering and letting the universe guide me but started to feel anxiety the last few days. I think it’s just me being nervous and worrying, which is unproductive. I’ve been shown good things happen when I just let go and let things flow. I need to get back to that place asap! Can’t wait to read your book! Thanks for the vids!

  117. Hi! Here’s a recent miracle that came from complete detachment and surrender: I just finished a dissertation that took 3 years to complete after 3 years of monthly classes. I sent the document (all 321 pages) to the chair of my committee who promptly told me it would take him at least 6 weeks to respond as he was in recovery from an elective surgery. I felt disappointment for about a day, then released everything, knowing full-well that work that “came through me” was not mine, nor was the outcome. And then the miracle came only two weeks later. My committee chair APPROVED the dissertation and it is now on its way to the other two committee members for their review, and so now the process of letting go of outcome begins anew 🙂

  118. I’ve always been someone who has let the universe lead me and let things unfold naturally but lately I’ve been getting really clear on my goals and taking action to try and make that happen. It can be challenging to fit the two together. Working towards these goals but trying to do in a way that isn’t forced.

    1. Beautiful! The more you trust that you are being guided while you walk towards your goals the easier it will be come to surrender. xo

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