The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here, this podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Something really cool has been happening lately, where I’m traveling all over the world right now, back on the road, sharing about my new book, Happy Days. And I’m meeting people randomly in airports or at events in the audience. And they look at me and they stare me in the eye and sometimes they even grab my hand and they say, “I read Happy Days.”

And it’s sort of like this Fight Club moment of like, we’re in this together. I have done this with you. We’ve gone through this journey. We’ve had this experience. I took your guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace. So we will have read the book and taken their notes and then gone through and listened to the audiobook.

I narrate all of my audiobooks. And I have this experience every time I read a book that feels like I’m reliving the journey, particularly in this book, it was extremely theatrical and moving at times. I cried as I’m reading and I witnessed this energy that comes through the audio that has such an impact on people.

And so my team did something really cool. We’re giving you the introduction to the audiobook for free. I just want to let people try it out, listen to it, and feel into their own experience of it. So head over to deargabby.com/happydays audio that’s deargabby.com/happydaysaudio.

When you head over to that URL, it will also be in the show notes, you’ll be able to instantly download the free audiobook introduction. It’ll give you a sense of the energy behind this book, the mission behind this book and my intention, which is to serve to guide and to lead you to that sense of inner peace and freedom that you may feel is very far from reach, but I’m here to show you how to get there.

Get your free audiobook introduction at deargabby.com/happydaysaudio.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host, Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you are ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Today’s episode is an episode that I know you are just so excited to listen to. This is an episode that brings a lot of our manifesting methods to life. It’s an episode about claiming what we want, claiming what we want, becoming unapologetic about what we want.

This is about telling the universe clearly without any hesitation or disconnection, telling the universe, clearly, this is what I want.

Unapologetically. Putting out what we want to receive, putting out what we want to receive, because the universe only responds to what you are a yes for. And if you’re a yes for something maybe, then you’re only going to continue to get something maybe.

But if you are a yes with conviction, clarity, connection to what it is that you desire, the universe can respond swiftly. The universe can provide; the universe can reveal to you the steps, the guidance, the manifestation. And did you know that you can actually clarify your desire? Did you know that you can do that through the power of your intention?

There’s a lot of fun ways to get really creative in clarifying your desires. There are ways to write about it, visualize and just creatively write. I am ready to attract the love, the partner, the romance, or being in that I am statement is also extremely valuable. I am in my new vehicle or I am a mother holding my baby in my arms.

I am, I am. Letting that creative visualization come out onto the page, bringing that creative visualization to your meditation, getting crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract into your life. The universe is always guiding you towards what is of the highest good for all. And when you get into that energy of positive expectation, you’re embracing a sense of faithful knowing.

You’re telling the universe. Yeah. I believe that what I desire is on the way. And the way to loosen your grip on that desire, that clear desire is by saying, I welcome this or something better because we want that clarity and we want that conviction. And we want that sense of knowing, we want to hold the vision.

But we also want to wear it like a loose garment. We want to allow that desire to have free-flowing co-creation with the universe. The more clear we are, the more directed we will be. And even with that clarity, sometimes, sometimes just sometimes the universe has a plan better than we do. So hold that clear vision, get yourself grounded in the statement of what it is that you are ready to receive, or I am.

And then let the universe do her thing. Let that energy of conviction and creation and creativity be the energy that manifests that clear intention into your life. Make that list of what it is that you want to clarify, do something where you just put all the imagery out there. You can get very crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract, make a statement, put it on your computer.

There’s a faith statement that we can create. In the universe has your back, I write about a faith statement. Get grounded in your capacity to attract what you desire and the clear vision, because the universe is always giving you back what you put out. That clear vision backed with the released energy of allowing what is of the highest good—this or something better—is what allows that clear vision to come into form.

So I want to talk about this topic today with you. My beautiful guests, they’re joining us. I’m going to bring in our first guests and see how this relates to them. Clarifying the vision of what they desire so the universe can respond.

Today’s episode is brought to you by Whoop the world’s most powerful fitness and health coach. Guys, I’ve been obsessed with this company called Whoop. You may be hearing me talk about this on previous episodes, but seriously, it’s freaking awesome. Whoop isn’t just another fitness wearable; it’s designed to provide personalized and actionable data based on your own body.

Each day, you wake up and Whoop gives you a personalized recovery score based on both the quantity and quality of your sleep. Lately, mine has been kinda messy because I’m sleep training my son into a big boy bed. It will share with you your heart rate variability, respiratory rate, and other key vital signs.

Whoop will then coach you through your day and provide recommendations on how hard you should push yourself based on your recovery. Whoop also released, they’re all new 4.0, 33% smaller and designed with new biometric tracking, including skin temperature, blood oxygen, and more. It’s really awesome. I’ve been using Whoop for the last few months and I’ve learned so much about how the quality of my sleep affects every area of my life.

And as you know, I take my sleep very, very seriously. So every day I have been obsessively checking what my recovery score is, and it’s been really great to understand how hard I should push myself or when I really need to chill out. And it really does feel like having a personal coach. Also, the Whoop band is actually really cute, even more exciting news from Whoop.

Their 4.0 is officially back in stock and shipping in real-time. To celebrate that and Father’s Day coming right up, Whoop is offering 15% off and free shipping when you use code Gabby. Go to W H O O P.com that’s W H O O P.com to save 15% and get free shipping automatically applied today using code Gabby.

GABBY: Let’s bring in our first guest, Sam. Hello? How are you?

CALLER: Hi! How are you? Oh my God. Okay. I actually have been following you not that long ago for like a couple of years ago and I grabbed Happy Days and it was insane because you and I have very similar stories on how we found out our big T, especially when it comes to the abuse.

GABBY: Yeah.

CALLER: I’m your typical right? Indigo child and empath, super sensitive. I was still learning how to pretty much regulate my emotions. I think that’s my main lesson in life. How do react to life from a place of a thriver and not a victim? And also, you know, I’m a cancer survivor. There’s just, I mean, I could definitely write a book on that actually…

GABBY: What you are as a trauma survivor because all of what you, all of what you’re speaking about is just trauma response.

CALLER: Exactly. And I’m having a very huge existential crisis right now, to be honest, because I’m just starting a brand new, trying to start a new business as an energy healer and you know, a coach, I just graduated as a, as a coach and oh my God, I’m having such a hard time letting go of who I used to be.

GABBY: So what would the clear vision of what you want to create be?

CALLER: So, you know, last year was, I really wanted to align with my purpose and then did a lot of work. So clear vision. I want to feel at peace with whatever decision I make, where I can trust the universe, that it has my back. Cause right now I feel if I leave my salary which is, you know, teachers don’t get paid, I’m a single mom, so I need it.

GABBY: Back up to that. Let’s back up to that. I really, really appreciate that clear vision because a lot of times we can think oh my clear vision is that I’m making money doing the work I love. Your clear vision is exactly perfect because it’s attainable. It’s close. It’s something that will create more freedom and space to get into the next level of your vision.

So the desire to have clarity and safety in the decision-making is just excellent desire at this time. Because there’s no right or wrong way. Like, it’s leave now as long as you’re feeling safe in the, in the choice. So let’s make that clear statement together and I’m just going to use the words I heard and then you can reflect it back to me, but the desire seems to be, to feel safe in your decision-making.

CALLER: Yeah. And that resonates. And definitely, the fear comes more right now of a financial place. Where, what do I do without my, my cushy salary or my…

GABBY: Back up the story. The story is… what matters right now is that you ground yourself in what the main desire is. And so if the main desire is to make a decision right now, or soon from a place that feels like a safe, grounded choice. Then whatever choice you make, doesn’t matter. As long as it feels safe and grounded. So it’s the choices we make today don’t… can be different in three months, six months, eight months. But for someone who is a trauma, survivor safety is crucial. If you do anything that’s too outside your comfort zone too quickly, too fast, you’re going to rock your system and then it’ll send you into a… place.

So while particularly, even in the midst of doing all this work on yourself, so please don’t do that. Well, that clear vision I’m going to close with you right here. Hold that clear vision. My desire is to make an empowered decision that feels safe and just repeat that daily. I’m going to make an empowered decision that feels safe.

I’m making empowered decisions that feel safe. That’s where I believe you were the most grounded in this conversation with me.

CALLER: Yes, I think so, too.

GABBY: And just stick to it, stick to it, stick to it, write it down right now. Repeat it, commit to it. Tell the universe in prayer every single day. I welcome my empowered decision that feels safe.

CALLER: Okay. And can I add an, I don’t need anyone else to do it because I have this really weird because I don’t, I’m not even in a relationship and I always feel like I need something else to support me. I feel very lonely, I guess, in the, in this path right now.

GABBY: I would not close the door to a relationship though. Right? So it’s like, I welcome an empowered decision that feels safe and I wouldn’t shut the door for other things. Just, just, just get, I want an empowered decision that feels safe. Maybe that feels safe because somebody shows up and they want to be your partner. You know, I don’t care how it happens, but you want to make an empowered decision that feels safe. Don’t cut yourself off from opportunity.

CALLER: Okay.

GABBY: Beautiful.

CALLER: Thank you so much.

GABBY: You’re welcome, my love. Really clear, crystal clear.

This episode is sponsored by Ritual. My son Oliver’s on a smoothie kick lately. Hardcore. He’s always asking me for his blueberry duberry moothie, mommy. Blueberry duberry moothie, mommy, and it’s just so cute. So he’s making me up my own personal smoothie game. It’s nice to have him encouraging me to be healthy.

And one important ingredient in my smoothie is the protein powder. I know protein powders can be very intimidating to people, but the fact is we all need protein and it’s not just about muscles. Protein helps support bone health, and it satiates you. And as we go through life, our protein needs change. That’s why I love Ritual.

Particularly now, I’m 42 years old. I don’t build muscle as easily as I used to. So that protein powder is helping me tremendously. Their formula has 20 grams of pea protein per serving. They have the daily shake, 18 plus, and the daily shake, 50 plus, and the daily shake for pregnancy and postpartum. What I love most about their protein is that it has such a great taste.

I like the vanilla flavor. It is delicious. I mean that, I mean that, I mean that. also Ritual is different than other protein powders because Ritual’s one-of-a-kind visible supply chain. You know, the what, how and why of every labeled ingredient. It’s also sustainably sourced. Ritual is packed with 20 grams of protein per serving made from sustainably grown peas, regeneratively farmed right here in the United States.

And the big one for me. There’s no added sugar or sugar alcohols. Ready to shake up your protein ritual? My listeners get 10% off during your first three months at ritual.com/deargabby. Ritual knows you’ll love the protein powder so much. So they offer a money-back guarantee if you’re not happy. So go to ritual.com/deargabby today for 10% off your first three months.

Earlier in the episode, I spoke about Whoop and how I’ve been using their fitness wearable to help me really stay on track with my health. And a huge part of that is through tracking my sleep. Sleep is something that I take very seriously. If you’re a Dear Gabby listener, you know, I love my sleep and sleep is one of the most important things you can do to improve your recovery and boost your immunity and really just make fitness improvements in your life and the sleep coach from Whoop analyzes sleep duration, quality, efficiency and consistency every single night.

It also provides ideal bed and wake times to help improve my sleep routine. Their all-new Whoop 4.0 comes with a brand new haptic alarm that uses gentle vibrations to wake you in less jarring ways. I don’t typically get to take advantage of that because my jarring alarm system Oliver loves to wake me up when it’s not the appropriate time.

But you can decide on your own alarm mode and just let the sleep coach section of the app really guide you to hit those sleep goals. Tracking my sleep has been huge and it’s really helped me understand why I need it and why I need so much of it. And finally, even more exciting news from Whoop.

Their 4.0 is officially back in stock and shipping in real-time. To celebrate that and Father’s Day coming right up, Whoop is offering 15% off and free shipping when you use the code Gabby. Go to whoop.com that’s W H O O P.com to save 15% and get free shipping automatically applied today with code Gabby.

GABBY: Who’s next?

CALLER: Hi.

GABBY: How are you?

CALLER: I’m good. So I really can’t believe I’m on here. Where to start. I feel like your message for today really resonates with me because I’m feeling just a little lost in some decisions and how my life is going. I mean, overall for me, things are going well. I, I decided to make a career change two years ago.

I got, I’m getting my Master’s in Social Work. I’m almost done. I got a job. I’m going to be a therapist.

GABBY: Excellent.

CALLER: Starting in…in August, after I graduate.

GABBY: Full-body chills. So fabulous. Good for you.

CALLER Yeah, it’s been. Sorry. I’m really nervous. I didn’t think I’d get picked.

GABBY: You don’t seem nervous at all. So that’s so interesting.

CALLER: You know, my career is going well. I kept my, my other job through this whole time so I’ve had that stability that you’ve talked about and I’m really feeling like I’m on the right path and it took a lot of time and thought to get there. And it’s like, things are just like the obstacles are, you know, it’s, it’s always been hard for me to think that things can be easy and it’s kind of gone that way.

But right now I’m kind, I feel like I’m kind of in a crisis with my relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for eight years now. And we’ve like gone back and forth between getting engaged and not, it’s something I’ve wanted for many years and moving forward in my life.

And now we’re both really at this make or break point where we feel like we either, you know, move forward or we break up and I feel like I’m at this crossroads right now. I just don’t know what to do.

GABBY: I’ll tell you what to do. When you’re at a crossroads, especially when it involves another person, you need to get clear about what your non-negotiables are. And this comes right back to the topic for today. Getting clear about your desire. Get very crystal clear about what is non-negotiable for you.

I can hear now marriage, it sounds like it’s non-negotiable like just another example. Maybe children are non-negotiable; maybe commitment is non-negotiable. Monogamy might be non-negotiable whatever your, your non-negotiables are, write them down, get crystal clear about them and don’t mess with it. If you’re not clear about those non-negotiables, you’re sending messages to the universe that this could maybe be okay? No.

Maybe is a bad idea. Maybe is a bad idea.

CALLER: I mean, I made a list. I know my non-negotiables, I guess I’m just like, after all this time I have a lot of my own, my, my own trauma with the small t about, you know, trust and after all this time, like getting over that. And I just don’t know if I can.

GABBY: One of your non-negotiables has to be that I feel like I can trust my partner. I trust.

CALLER: Yeah. Yeah.

GABBY: Share them with him.

CALLER: Yeah, I’ve done. I’ve done that. Then we’ve had some discussions. I’m just also, yeah, I’m trying to get clear on what I want because I feel like that my life could go in one direction with him or right now my whole life feels like it’s changing directions right now with my new career.

And I’ve changed a lot in the past year through your work, through learning from you. And I’m just wondering, like, I just don’t know, like, I’ve been trying to get some clarity from my guides and I’m having trouble getting that as far as kind of like what path is in my highest good.

GABBY: Well, go sit down and rewrite your non-negotiables because if you’ve changed, things might’ve changed.

CALLER: Yeah.

GABBY: Add to the list; rewrite the list, get super, crystal clear. I am unapologetically asking for this. If you don’t put that out there, you will not get what you want.

CALLER: Okay.

GABBY: Putting it out there means you don’t get the thing that you thought you wanted because something better is on the way. Crystal clear. Non-negotiables. Go do it right now.

CALLER: Okay. I will. Thanks, Gabby.

GABBY: You’re welcome. I think that the point here is that if you are going to get into that place of sifting through the questionable desires and grounding yourself in the clear vision of what you want, it requires some courage.

Here’s courage to really just claim it, say it; own it. And sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes that means clearing space. Sometimes that means just stepping outside your comfort zone because it’s far more uncomfortable to stick to the thing that you didn’t really want than to rip off the bandaid and move in a different direction.

CALLER: Yeah.

GABBY: I’m not saying that’s what you should do. I’m just saying, go look at that non-negotiable list and see if it matches up.

CALLER: Yeah. I’ll take some time. I’ll do that. Absolutely.

GABBY: Go, girl. Thank you. Congratulations on your, your degree. Go help those people.

I’ve touched on some of the reasons why I love using Whoop and I really want to stress that it’s not just for serious athletes. With their feature called the journal, I’m able to track the impact that meditation and other mindfulness routines have on my recovery and my sleep. I’m also able to track the impact of CBD, melatonin and more.

Whoop is a wearable, but unlike other wearables, Whoop is designed to help you optimize your performance based on your sleep, your daily recovery and your activity habits. It tells you when you’re primed for a big day or when you should just chill out. It’s just amazing because it’s customized to your body.

I love knowing what I’m ready to go. But I also appreciate knowing when I’m really ready to rest. And it’s nice to have an app that’s just telling me to chill out. Sometimes when you’re on the quest to do everything all the time, you can really kill your productivity. Burnout is such a popular term in our society right now.

And it’s not just from physical exhaustion. Stress plays a major part in both mental and physical wellbeing. And Whoop is designed to measure the impact that stress has on your day-to-day life. And that knowledge is power, my friends; this is really serious stuff, people, and I hope that you give yourself the opportunity to try out this band and allow yourself more freedom and less stress.

And finally, even more exciting news from Whoop. Their 4.0 is officially back in stock and shipping in real-time to celebrate that and Father’s Day coming right up, Whoop is offering 15% off and free shipping. When you use code Gabby. Go to whoop.com that’s W H O O P.com to save 15% off and get free shipping automatically applied today.

GABBY: Eliana.

CALLER: Hi.

GABBY: How are you doing, honey?

CALLER: I’m going to be honest and say, I’m really nervous to talk to you.

GABBY: See that truth coming through?

CALLER: And I’m also a little sad and confused by the universe. So on September 11th, I lost my baby at 37 weeks and I named him Mael. I grieved and listening to you really helped me heal so much. And I was in a pretty healed place. And then we decided we wanted to start trying again to have a baby.

And I started getting all these beautiful signs about this baby that was coming my way. I really wanted a boy. I have two daughters and that I was totally okay with whatever came. I was very accepting of it. And then I was in the airport. And this woman called across the airport, a stranger and said to me, you’re going to have a baby boy next year.

And it was like the most magical moment; I cried. I called my family. I was like, God is talking to me and I did get pregnant and I am pregnant right now. So I’m extremely grateful for that. But I did find out that I’m having a girl a couple of days ago, and I just kind of felt like this. I felt this crash in me of like what I think I had thought I was getting a replacement for my son maybe.

And I’m like grieving his loss or something, but I just felt like I was tricked and I don’t understand. I just feel like I’m losing my son again a little.

GABBY: What about this? Ready for a reframe? What if your son’s soul has come back as this girl? What if this is him, sometimes the soul comes in and they say, Hey, you know what? I wanted to be a girl or that wasn’t the right timing. Feel into the soul of this child, feel into the presence of this child. Feel if there’s a sense of familiarity, feel if there’s a sense of connection. Your ego has likely put a lot of stories around it, right? So the story of it’s supposed to be a boy or whatever it is.

But my love, the gender is just a symbol; the energy and the spiritual connection is what’s real. So what if this is your boy coming right back in, in the female form? Okay. Maybe that’s the choice that was best for this time. Maybe that’s what the world is going to need most right now is more, more female energy.

CALLER: Yeah, I would. That sounds like a beautiful idea.

GABBY: Take it. I believe it. I don’t think there’s any accident. He’s back. If you, if you feel that. I don’t want to put that on you, but if you feel that. That is another way of perceiving this entire circumstance. But the other thing that’s important is that you recognize that you just went through one of the biggest traumas of most people’s lifetime—losing a child that far along.

And, you know, my story when I was five and a half months, and that felt far for me. Right? But very different when you’re at 37. Okay. The further and further along, it goes, the harder and harder it will be.

CALLER: Yeah.

GABBY: So from my own personal experience, I can’t even contemplate what it would have been at that, at that stage.

And my stage was far along. So I just want to really make sure that you continue to put your trauma recovery as your highest priority for this baby, for the children that you have. And for yourself. Because, my love, that is trauma with a big T. So I hope you’re reading Happy Days. I hope you’re feeling like you have support and you’re slowly titrating into that grief and coming out, not now, don’t rip off the bandaid too quickly, but just be go gentle and be slow.

And right now, instead of holding the clear vision of it has to be a boy. What about my clear vision is the birth of a healthy baby?

CALLER: Yeah. Thank you so much, Gabby.

GABBY: Congratulations.

CALLER: Thank you so much.

GABBY: So beautiful, three girls.

CALLER: It’s going to be a lot of fun.

GABBY: Good luck with that. I’m just kidding. Yeah.

CALLER: Thank you.

GABBY: You’re welcome, my love.

What a show, guys! Okay, so this is the story. The more clear you are. The more you will receive what it is that you genuinely desire. That clarity has to be really, really boundaried. It has to be defined. It has to be written down, claimed, and prayed for. It also can be surrender because sometimes what you think you’re clear about there may be something even greater on the way. Sometimes you may speak that truth and clarity and get an uninspected result.

Clarity is king. Putting pen to paper, grounding yourself in the truth, giving yourself permission to want, to desire and just really putting it out there. When we’re wishy-washy, when we’re wavering, creates all kinds of messy situations. Get clear, get super clear. And then you become a super attractor.

Thank you for joining me today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Leave a review if you liked the show, check out, there’s many other episodes on manifesting, methods for manifesting all throughout this podcast. So if you’re into this topic, go check out those episodes. Check out my books The Universe Has Your Back or Super Attractor for more manifesting methods.

And I just can’t thank you enough for being a listener on this show. You guys are amazing. You’re showing up, you’re doing such beautiful work. Go be unapologetic about what you desire. And claim it now; have a beautiful day.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me.

So I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media @GabbyBernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live at deargabby.com. See you next week.