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Letting go of control and surrendering trust to the Universe isn’t something I’ve always been able to do. 

When I was in college my best friends were creative pot smokers who didn’t have a care in the world. They were super chill, to say the least. But you know who wasn’t chill? 

Yours truly! I was a head case, constantly trying to control everything. 

“Gabby, why are you so controlling? Just relax!” they’d say. 

In retrospect, I have a lot of love and compassion for college Gabby. She wasn’t controlling. She was scared. 

What I’ve come to understand is that we control things to feel safe.


This is such an important topic that it became the theme of my latest episode of Dear Gabby. In this podcast, I guide you through a series of actionable practices that will help you let go of control and feel safe no matter what’s going on around you. 

are you trying to control life?

In this episode, I connect with guests from all over the world who are seeking guidance on dealing with insecurity, job loss and making big decisions. While each circumstance is unique, there’s a central theme: Each guest is ready to let go, stop controlling and start living with a greater sense of inner safety. 

one of the main ways we try to stay safe is by controlling our circumstances

In this episode, I’ll show you how you can feel safe enough to loosen your grip on your life. 

Whether you’re avoiding uncomfortable growth, tiptoeing around personal confrontations or struggling to get through the day, this Dear Gabby episode will reveal the exact steps to take to stop controlling life and feel safe no matter what. 

recognize, record, release

In this episode I teach one of the fastest ways to let go of control. It’s an old Dear Gabby method from 2006! 

This OG method is called the 3 Rs and it’s designed to help you rapidly process and release uncomfortable feelings in 90 seconds! 

The 3 Rs stands for Recognize, Record, Release.

It’s simple. All you need is to have a small journal on hand throughout the day. (Or you can use the Notes app in your iPhone.) 

The next time you notice a negative controlling thought come up, do this:

step 1


Notice the thought.

step 2


Write it down in a journal.

step 3


Say a prayer, “Thank you, Universe, for transforming this fear and helping me release it now.”

On the podcast I break this method down even further. 

in this episode you’ll learn:
  • My 4-step method for taking action without fear, even when you’re terrified to start
  • Why radical honesty is the kindest response, and my method to safely and authentically state your truth—even in difficult conversations
  • Why avoiding uncomfortable feelings is holding you back and how to fearlessly show up for all your emotions
  • If you’ve ever said to yourself, “Who am I to do this?” you’re not alone. Learn how to transform self doubt into confidence
  • A 90-second 3 Rs method to rapidly process and release uncomfortable feelings

Enjoy the episode and stick around to the end to hear my guidance on how to break free from getting stuck in the drama and chaos and find your way to feeling good.

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This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.