How to Detach from Outcomes and Trust in the Universe

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Do you struggle to detach from outcomes? I see so many people try to control the outcomes of situations, and this includes myself.

For many years I was very determined to create the outcomes I wanted. I always had a plan, and I didn’t let myself feel safe unless everything went according to that plan.

If you have a hard time letting go and accepting the way things unfold, this post is for you. I want to help you let you go and start receiving!

How are you attached to outcomes?

Get honest with yourself right now: In what ways are you obsessing over an outcome?

  • Are you attached to something happening in the timeframe you’re comfortable with?
  • Are you fixated on someone doing something in the way you want?
  • Do you think something will be a disaster if it doesn’t go exactly as you planned?

The power of detachment

When you embrace your Super Attractor power, you can stop controlling and start receiving. The more we turn over our desires and goals to the care of the Universe, the more greatness we allow. We can stop worrying and trust that whatever is coming our way is of the highest good.

When you’re attached to an outcome, you actually block your ability to manifest your desires and co-create with the Universe.

But when your energy is aligned with the energy of the Universe, you blast open the doors to receive support, ideas, inspiration, solutions and opportunities you couldn’t have imagined!

The moment you release the results, you allow the Universe to back you up.

How to detach from outcomes

If we want to manifest the reality we want, we must be in an energy of detachment. In this energy, we become willing to allow and receive.

These 2 steps will help you detach from outcomes. When you practice this simple process, you’ll live with ease and confidence. And you’ll manifest your desires!

Step 1: Recognize how you’re attached to the outcome

Before you can detach from an outcome, you have to get honest about you’re attached to it. Maybe you post in the comments below and just get honest with me, and get honest with yourself about an outcome you’ve been obsessing over.

Then start to pay attention to how that attachment is affecting your energy and your vibrational frequency. How is it making you feel? You can start to see how it’s not serving you and how it may be blocking you from manifesting your desires.

Step 2: Surrender the attachment with prayer

The moment I embrace my peace within and surrender the outcome is the moment the Universe can truly get to work | Gabby Bernstein | The Universe Has Your Back card deckThe next step is to surrender it fully. This is so simple. It’s just a prayer. You can say this prayer daily for the next 30 days if you want to detach from an outcome. Just say:

“I surrender this attachment, and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do.”

That simple prayer will shift your energy immediately. It connects you to the voice of your higher self, which will help you allow and let go.

In that space of allowing and letting go, you start to come into an energy frequency that is receptive and detached. You start to vibrate with the Universe and trust the Universe with the details.

Remember: It’s this or something better.

Release every outcome

As I say in Super Attractor, the Universe responds when we let go and welcome divine guidance. When there is a controlling energy behind your actions, you won’t receive the outcome you truly want. The key to attracting your desires is to release them.

Tweet: The key to attracting your desires is to release them. @gabbybernstein #SuperAttractor

People often ask me how often they should surrender to the Universe. My response is: Every day. You can use your prayer as often as you need. Turn to it anytime you catch yourself trying to control, or when you’re really hung up on a certain outcome.

It helps to begin practicing detaching and surrendering in the areas of your life where things don’t feel so “high stakes” and you have a more relaxed attitude toward the outcome. In time it will become easier to release your bigger attachments. Get into this habit by surrendering something that you’re less attached to. Release it all!

Focus on feeling good

Gabby Bernstein on an Adirondack chair with a vase of flowers | Detach from outcomesAbraham-Hicks say:

“The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But if you don’t feel really good on your way to there, you can’t get there. You have to be satisfied with what-is while you’re reaching for more.”

Your satisfaction with what is allows you to be happy and peaceful regardless of whether you have exactly what you think you need. So just forget what you think you need and focus on feeling good!

Feeling good will bring you far more than whatever you thought you needed. You’ll release the need to get something, be somewhere or have certain circumstances in place to be happy. Happiness will become the outcome you desire most.

You can start cultivating happiness now. Follow the tips in my blog posts on the #1 key to manifesting and creative visualization to focus on feeling good!

Get more guidance in Super Attractor!

Super Attractor by Gabrielle BernsteinIn Super Attractor, I lay out the essential methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. This book is a manifesto for confidently claiming your desires.

In its pages, you’ll learn how to:

  • Do less and attract more
  • Relax and trust that what you desire is on the way
  • Know that spiritual guidance is available to you at all times
  • Feel a sense of awe each day as you witness miracles unfold

Order the book and claim your free Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop!

Witness the miracles unfold

As you practice detaching from the outcome, you’ll start to see many beautiful miracles begin to unfold in your life.

Look out for them. Pay attention and don’t dismiss anything. Celebrate and appreciate every miracle.

You can come back to this blog post and share with me how you detached from the outcome and what miracles you manifested.

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  1. I have been wanting a new job for a while and have been unsuccessful in finding one. I am doing everything you say not to do! I am obsessing about getting it – when will it happen? will it be everything I want? will I be valued as an employee? will I make the money I want? I can’t stop looking, applying or thinking about it.

    1. Great work recognizing how you are blocking yourself, Leslie, and awesome that you reached out for help. Here are some additional tools and practices to help you surrender and experience an energetic shift:

  2. I asked for direction and a sign. I’d been lost for two decades. For the past 3 years certain artists had been showing up on my playlists, music I normally wouldn’t listen to. Then it began to happen more often. I’d turn on the radio, there they were. One morning I’m reading the local paper and there’s a story about the artists I’d kept finding on my radar and the label they’re on. I keep reading, the article is about more about the owner. It seems he’s come back home from New York. Home is my neighborhood! He was born and raised here, like me. I looked him up and found his information easily. I started writing a song and recorded it in my garage. I had such an odd feeling that this person would like it, would “get” it. I felt in sync, every strum, every beat. Everything I’d been doing since surrendering to the universe was coming together. All the crazy directions I’d been going in, it was freeing to just trust and let go.
    I knew sending a song to someone who probably got 100’s each week would probably never even get to him, but I did it anyway. I had nothing to lose.
    5 days later he called within minutes of listening to song and we had such a great conversation. We talked about the future and making a record together. He said he was excited and that he’d be in touch in a few days.
    It’s been a couple of months, no contact. I finally sent an email a week ago, no reply.
    I paid attention to the signs, responded happily and never questioned any of the things life was leading me to. I felt a deep confidence and happiness I’d never felt. Letting go and trusting was for me, very peaceful.
    Now, I’m sad and a little humiliated by the whole affair but I’m not going to ask “Now what?” or sit around becoming attached to an outcome that for me was a dream. I’ve been reaching out and asking for guidance and I’ve accepted this is not going to happen.
    I do wonder though, what’s worse: never feeling that thrill of acceptance after 30 years of working so diligently at something I love or finally knowing what that feels like and finding out it’s better than I ever imagined it could be and then losing it.
    I just thought you should know that sometimes, as successful as this is for some people, it’s just as possible for it not to work out for others.

    1. Showing up and sharing here is a sign that you’re ready to make meaningful change, Jeannette. There is a chapter in Gabby’s book, The Universe Has Your Back, called: Obstacles Are Detours in the Right Direction. Here, Gabby explains that often times the situations that appear to us as “rejection” are the Universe’s way of protecting us from something and/or redirecting us toward our highest good.
      You might find it helpful to check out these additional resources:

  3. Hi there
    So when I am detaching from my specific person that I am manifesting do I not chat or talk to him unless he does ? Cos I am always the one initiating contact ?

  4. Thank you Gabby I am almost there, it’s been 4 years practicing this, it’s the most challenging. I get to this attachment trap when I get mistreated or when I cannot help as much as I would like to at the time where there is a need. It’s as if I react poorly to situations and go back to wanting more and having the illusion that it will solve my problems or be free.
    I do a lot of good for others and myself, when things go wrong and I’m being mistreated by the very same people I get confused and as a highly passionate person my emotions can sometimes take me to a very dark place.
    I always say I don’t expect anything in return it works 100% when it’s strangers, if it’s people in my circle I doubt that I have mastered not expecting the same treatment.
    I give you my car to go anywhere anytime, when I lose my car I ask to use yours there’s complaints and excuses.
    I work on this detachment almost all the time it’s when I lose my independence that I feel at people’s mercy. I will admit I still try to be perfect so my relationship can work or things to go my way, I will finally get the girl but I want it to be effortless, I’m not too bad but I can do better.

    Thanks for the tips I’m a good student, I’m sure I will get there soon.

  5. Hiiii! I am trying so hard to detach from something I have wanted for over ten years. I’m married, but in love with someone else. My intuition has been telling me I am meant to be with him, and I have been praying and praying that whatever happens be for the highest good for all. So when my inner voice is telling me one thing so strongly, how do I detach from that, or should I? Should I detach from how and when it will happen, or detach from the whole thing? I have been guided by many divine synchronicities, but am still waiting.

    1. No one can answer this question for you, Rebecca, but what we can do is give you the steps on how to allow that answer to be given to you. Right now you’re in the logical mindset of “How do I figure this out?” and ultimately that blocks our sense of feeling and knowing the next right action. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to stop trying to “figure it out” and let your intuition be your guide. The way that you develop tuning into your intuition is through prayer and meditation. I want to offer you this simple prayer: “Thank you universe for showing me what to do. Thank for showing me what is of the highest good for my relationship.” Then sit in meditation to receive guidance. xoxo

  6. We’ve been working toward conception for 2 years. At first, my best girlfriend and I wanted to be pregnant together. When she got pregnant it added so much pressure to get on with it! Then another girlfriend beat me, then another and now I’m officially the last to start a family. It has felt disheartening. I meditate twice a day and visualize holding our child in the hospital room after delivery. I get so detailed with it that I end meditation in happy tears. But it seems our time still hasn’t come. I suspect it’s not that having a child isn’t for our highest good and it’s more about a desired outcome. I think wanting to be pregnant with my friends forced the universe to deliver on one possible outcome but it probably isn’t the best rendition of this experience is my guess. The Universe always knows what is the ideal outcome. But, remaining loving and calm in the presence of my friends and their families is so difficult for me … What do you recommend? Are there mantras when I feel anxiety creep in when I’m holding their children?

    1. Sending you big love, Gabrielle. Here is a great affirmation for you: “I am patient knowing that whatever is of the highest good is coming to me.” You can find the gorgeous art work and affirmation here on this blog post that will hopefully serve and inspire you:
      Here is an additional post that I think will resonate with you:

  7. Thank you Gabi, just came across this whilst searching for guidance on detachment. It resonates well. Instead of focusing on the journey, trust you’ll reach your destination, and the journey will figure itself out. This is really helpful. I’ve had to cancel a long-awaited solo trip to see friends on the other side of the planet, was very upset about it not happening and have been anxious about when I will finally go as I was so attached. I can see that if I just trust and know that it will happen instead of getting hooked on “when will we all be able to fly again, will it be this year, next year, etc”. then it will all fall into place at the right time and in the right way.

  8. I enjoyed your post. I dated a girl & she dumped me abruptly after 9 months. She was disrespectful to me by her actions & and made fun of me. On Fay she likes my photos & sends me holiday greetings. She acts like thinks we are friends. I am owed an apology & explanation for her actions. It’s been 4 years & still nothing.

    1. Isn’t being focused on feeling good being attached to an outcome– the outcome being feeling good? What if you are so focused on feeling good that it actually makes you feel bad?

  9. Gabby-
    Thank you for this! How do you distinguish between when you are attaching to an outcome vs. tapping into a feeling of intuition that your guides are using to point you in the right direction? For example if I want to start a new business and I have a vision for that business, am I holding to tightly to that outcome or could those visions be guidance to keep moving forward?

    1. Great question, Laura. You can absolutely hold a vision for starting a new business without attaching to an outcome. You could do that by surrendering the need to control the details. By leaning on your spiritual tools and practices, you can be patient and allow your intuition to guide you in taking the next right action rather than allowing fear to take over. Here is another blog post that you might find helpful:

  10. I have commenced sessions with a Healthy Life Doctor to heal the issues that I have with body. My desire is to wake up vibrant every morning free of physical pain and debiltating migraine’s. Have perfect health. Connecting with this particular practitioner felt like it was meant to be. I was guided to him in the most unexpected way, however now I feel I have some doubt about how effectiveness the treatments will be for me, if they will work, am I wasting my time and money. I also have attachments as to how I felt after the initial treatments.

    1. Hi Christine, it sounds like this is an opportunity to turn inward and witness what is coming up for you so that you can discern whether it’s the voice of your ego (fear) trying to block your potential to heal or the voice of your intuition (love) trying to open you up to a miraculous healing. Here are some practices that you might find helpful:
      Of course, if you feel called to, this may also be an opportunity to discuss what’s coming up for you with your wellness team.

  11. Does anyone really have the answers, if something is making you miserable, depressed, stressed out, let it go. I really believe that just because we plan, dream, strive for, it doesn’t mean we will get it. All I wanted in this life was to be married, have a family, good friends or active social life & my own business, money. The Universe gave me the opposite of what I wanted whilst I also had to endure seeing others receive what I desired. Am letting go in fact I no longer want those things, too late to start a family medically, business is not even bringing in a decent income, trying to look for a decent job i would like yet there is an age barrier, striving to achieve those goals gave me so much misery but yet ironically also finding that there is nothing that I have left to aim for in life. I don’t think I can trust the universe it seems so cruel.

    1. Thank you for your honesty, S.M. Showing up and sharing here is a sign that you’re ready to experience an energetic shift.

      It may be helpful, through your spiritual practice, to ask for guidance that leads you to someone who can help you process your unhealed feelings and shift from fear to faith. For example, you might be led to an EMDR specialist, an EFT practitioner, or a support group with people you can lean on. I am a strong believer that the universe works through people.

      In the meantime, you may find these blog posts helpful:

      Sending you much love and hope that you begin to feel that the universe has your back. xoxo

  12. Hi thank you for sharing this.
    I really want to meet a partner and get married to the point where I’ve physically started to feel anxiety as I’ve wanted it for so long. I’m meditating as often as I can and the prayer you put will hopefully be helpful. however as I have a pushy family they are pressuring me to find someone which makes me feel inadequate

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