How NOT to Wind Up in the Same Situation Again and Again

share this post:

share this post:

Recently a good friend came to me because she’d just ended a relationship. It was the latest in a string of relationships that were all essentially the same, with the same problems and issues.

After listening to her, I got real with her. I told her, “This is your Universal assignment.”

What are Universal assignments?

We all have personal stories of fear and doubt and uncertainty from the past that we need to heal. And until we do, they keep showing up in our life — because the Universe is communicating a very important message to us.

In this video, I share the 3 steps to take when you’re ready to show up for a Universal assignment. (I also call these spiritual assignments.) You have the capacity to heal past wounds! Show up for your Universal assignments and become free.

Watch below and keep reading for a breakdown of the steps.

How to recognize a Universal assignment

When my friend called me, she said, “Oh my God. Here I am, 37 years old, still single, and I just broke up with this guy because it was the same relationship that I’ve been replaying over and over.”

She had just lived out the same story she’d experienced with all her past boyfriends. She always ended up not feeling good enough, stuck in an unhappy partnership with a guy who made her feel like she was inadequate.

What’s your Universal assignment?

This is a classic Universal assignment. I told my friend: “There’s a part of you that doesn’t feel good enough in relationships. You keep attracting guys who trigger that wound within you, but you are not showing up for the wound. So the assignment keeps showing up for you in all these different partnerships.”

She said, “You know what? You’re right. It keeps showing up in all these different forms.”

You may have a Universal assignment of your own. What situation keeps showing up in your life over and over? Do you keep ending up in the same bad financial situation? Are all your jobs frustrating in the same way? Is there a habit you vow to break but keep going back to? This is your universal assignment.

How to show up for your Universal assignments

So how do you show up for these universal assignments? How can you NOT wind up in the same situation again and again? Follow these steps.

Step 1: Accept the assignment

We have to first and foremost accept that we have this assignment. Accept what the assignment is. Look at it and call it by its name. It’s your Universal assignment. When you accept the assignment, you give yourself permission to begin the healing process. So just own it. Say, “This is what’s up for me. I am in this story. I’ve got to heal it. I’ve got to move through it.”

Step 2: Honor your feelings

The next step is to let yourself feel whatever pain, discomfort and sadness lives below your assignment. When you realize you’re in the same situation again, stop yourself. Give yourself the time and space to feel the feelings underneath that assignment.

When we step back into the old patterns and the addictive behaviors, it’s because we’re not truly feeling the feeling underneath that wound. At this point you can open up to deeper healing work. That deep healing work often comes through a person like a therapist or a coach. When you honor your feelings and open up to this healing, you will be led to the person or people who can help you.

Step 3: Pray

After you feel the feeling, the next step is to pray. You can say a prayer such as this one:

I am willing to show up for this Universal assignment. I’m willing to see this differently and I’m ready to experience transformation.

Or your prayer can be really simple, like: “I witness the assignment and I need help. Show me what you’ve got.” Say this prayer daily. Say it in the moment.

When you put out this call for help, you will receive guidance. So your job becomes surrendering to the guidance, which leads us to our last step…

Tweet: What freaks you out is actually a divine opportunity. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

Step 4: Pay attention to the guidance you receive

When you listen to the guidance that comes through, very interesting things will start to happen for you. You may be led to that therapist who gives you that exact divine, beautiful guidance that you need.

I had this experience! When I made the commitment to show up for one of my biggest Universal assignments, I was led to a life coach many years ago who helped me transform it, heal it and move through it.

Recently I was ready to show up for another assignment, and I got into deep prayer. I said, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to heal this. I need help.” And I was led to a new therapist who is rocking my world!

Spirit works through people. When you open up to receive that guidance and you pray for it, it will be given to you.

Heal your Universal assignments with my Turn On Your Inner Light digital course

To dive deeper into the topic of healing universal assignments, check out my Turn On Your Inner Light digital course. In it I offer truthful guidance on life, inspiration and inner power. Each talk is followed by a Kundalini yoga set that aligns with the core lessons from the presentation.

Throughout the course I share authentic tools for restoring your thoughts back to peace, straight-talk on how to ground your spiritual practice in your day-to-day life experiences, and energizing yoga kriyas to awaken your true power and inspiration.

Check out the digital course here.

Read or leave comments


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Dear sweet, Gabby.
    You have no idea how long I have looked for the answer that I have received today in you blog. I am so deeply grateful and thankful to you.
    Sincerely, Priscilla.

  2. This new to me. I am recognising a trust issue coming up in my romatic relationships….. Am showing up, feeling and asking for guidance…. This is already spiking trust issues. Hope the Universe helps x

  3. Gabby,
    This spoke directly to me! The last 3 relationships that I have been in with men…I noticed that the same thing keeps coming up for me….I’ve been verbally abused and put down, called “stupid” over and over again. I know there is a part of me that doesn’t completely love and accept myself. I need to look at this and work on it because it keeps coming up and I have done nothing about it. Even in my relationships with some of my family members, there have been a few instances where something was said to me that made me feel less than, not worthy, and not capable of doing something. Instead of taking all of this as a universal assignment, I stayed living with those feelings of not feeling loved, supported and worthy. Thank you so much for sharing this! Lots of love!!

  4. Another insightful blog and so accurate. I am working through my assignment the anxiety and fear is crippling am using these blogs and meditations to calm me and keep me moving forward. It’s the waiting game I struggle most with waiting for the universe to guide me to the next step. I am a nurse in the UK and had a terminal patient who was my spirit guide she passed over last year. I miss her but since listening to your teachings I realise she is still all around me ….. Xx

  5. Wow. You have no idea. I found this unread email from you and decided to open it and it was insane. I just went through this process! I felt the feelings, I prayed for guidance and was led to a person who is currently rockin my world with transformation! Crazy. Love you so much. – Sol

  6. Hello lovely Lightworkers,

    What a great video Gabby. Thank you for sharing this message.
    I believe we will keep repeating the same lesson over and over again until we have really dealt with our lesson. All we need to do is to show up and be willing to learn and to heal.
    By the way, did anyone else see the white light Angel figure behind Gabby in the video? What an amazing way spirit shows us that they are here with us. God bless Gabby!

    Lots of love from England,

  7. Thank you Gabby!! This is great information. I was wondering how can we share this practice with children? How can we show them that taking these steps can help them solve or get through their own Assignments?
    I will be seeing you in Victoria this coming December…I can’t wait for that! You are an inspiration! 🙂 <3

  8. Hi Gabby!
    Please help. I moved to Paris about a month ago to be with my fiancé. It’s been an exciting time until the latest tragic events unfolded. I work from home and all day I hear the sirens and helicopters passing by (literally all day). I’m trying to keep my mind strong & trust in my faith, but I cant deny this deep bubbling part of me inside that feels scared & sickened by the mindset of IS. I keep trying to push it away and focus on my work but it’s eating at me. Any advice Gab? Can you please help guide me to my lesson? xxx

  9. Hi Gabby!
    Please help. I moved to Paris about a month ago to be with my fiancé. It’s been an exciting time until the latest tragic events unfolded. I work from home and all day I hear the sirens and helicopters passing by (literally all day). I’m trying to keep my mind strong & trust in my faith, but I cant deny this deep bubbling part of me inside that feels scared & sickened by the mindset of IS. I keep trying to push it away and focus on my work but it’s eating at me. Any advice Gab? Can you please help guide me to my lesson? xxx

    1. Dear Heidi

      I read your post with tears in my eyes. I live in Israel and we are undergoing a wave of terror that in two months has claimed 23 lives as of today, left many severely wounded and like you I am feeling vulnerable and hurt and confused. It is so hard to rise above this when we feel so defenseless. Please know that you are not alone. They are terrifying but just in making a connection by sharing your story, you have inspired me and now I don’t feel so alone and scared. This they cannot take away from us. Our joy, our faith our love for life cannot be taken even though we are temporarily fearful. You are most welcome to contact me and have a good cry or vent – I understand what you are going through. My gratitude to Gabby as well for creating a space for people all over the world to connect. Sending you a big hug and hope I can help in some way.

  10. Such a great reminder- what you resist will persist. Taking responsibility, feeling what is there, and praying about what shifts you may need to make has changed my life.

    Your symptoms and problems are there for a reason- and once I learned that, everything shifted.

  11. I saw a therapist today for the second time. Because my son has the flu we stacked some old magazines under his bed for more proper breathing. As I tucked him in, one of the magazines caught my attention. the cover of the magazine displayed the assignment I got from my therapist. As I took it out of underneath his bed I opened the magazine and saw an interview with you wich really spoke to me. Because your last phrases were the exact phrases my therapist was saying to me earlier this night. As if this is not crazy enough, my husband was out for training and there was a big national error today so it wasn’t possible to watch television or other type of entertainment I enjoy normally when I’m alone…. anyhow As I went to your website this is the first article I stumble upon exactly that why my therapeutic guiding has been trying to let me Know and I didn’t seem to get it… thank you for shining light on my path and help me move forward. You are absolute right. Extraordinary things happen when you accept your universal challenge !!

    Your spirit is great.

  12. Hmmm accepting that it is my Universal Assignment instead of resisting it and hating it every time it shows up? You make it all sound so simple. Also you show us such a sound way to manage it and finally make a new story for ourselves. Thank you Gabby for shining your light!

  13. Thank you Gabby. I let go the attachment that I need to understand WHAT the assignment is. I don’t know. I don’t know what I need to learn here. But I know and trust it is an assignment. I am willing to see this (whatever) as an assignment and feel the feelings attached to it and pray for guidance. Thank you. Sat nam, my beautiful friend.

  14. I am unsure of my assignment. What does this look like? I have had several years of feeling inadequacy/striving for perfection (career, physical, relationships) and not being financially abundant/ while I am still showing gratitude for all that I have daily. Are these what universal assignments look/feel like? I’ve been trying to be in-tune with t myself but lately I feel distant. I want to be able to call my assignment by name so that I can acknowledge it and pray. Thank you.

  15. Crazy! This afternoon I broke up with my date (dated him 1 year). I was crazy in love but felt more hurt everytime because he did not meet my needs and again this was the same situation as my past 3 relationships. This afternoon..and now here you are. I feel so broken right now. It’s time to accept it and will per your guidance. Thank you

  16. I was asking today for this exact guidance, after acknowledging my challenge and trying to sit with my emotions. Unresolved. And then this. Thank you

  17. Thank you Gabby for you’ve helped me on my personal journey that we call life. I’ve never commented on your website before yet I’ve read many of your blogs & visual presentations which are simply salubrious. I’ve been on the spiritual path for many years & have grown immensely like many of us here yet it’s recently been brought to my attention by the woman I love unconditionally to which she was correct in saying that when I feel hurt by her I said things unkowningly in a incorrect manner which only upset her even more. Why I would say that to the one I love saddens me for I’m a very gentle kind hearted soul normally. I feel I’m too emotionally open & need to filter my thoughts more as when I get upset my brain goes into overdrive which makes it only worse. I was never like this before & somehow with her it arose to the surface for I didn’t feel like the relationship was growing. I lost the woman I unconditionally love yesterday & it’s the first time I said goodbye with only the best intentions. She was an enigma who radiated limitless rays of light. I have much to learn on my journey & wish her only the best for she deserves to be happy as we all do. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face this morning.

  18. Well, this is a really important topic for me as I often seem to repeat my old mistakes. I think I finally need to open up to forgiveness and healing and I trust that the Universe has my back. I feel though as my enthusiasm and inner peace went somewhere and like I can’t really reach this feeling of balance anymore. Do you have any extra advice for me?

  19. I have changed my major seven times. Seven. My “assignment” (no pun intended) is to pick one thing and follow it through till the end. The story around that being I’m not smart enough, I’m not organized enough, and school is “pointless”. Time for me to wake up, put on my big girl shoes and show up. My major is now Sociology- something that will allow me much freedom in the workforce. I will definitely pray for guidance through this lesson… Thank you Gabby <3

  20. Thank you so much for this video – I now know that I’m ready to heal my universal assignment ???? It’s been a while coming but everything is in place now! A million thank you’s!!! X

  21. This has ‘shown up’ for me today in a big way, just what I needed to hear. But I have one question, I’m afraid to feel those feelings? I love your work, I listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks and Wayne Dyer whom to me suggest we can choose to feel those feelings or not. I’m being advised to choose a ‘better feeling’ thought, that my assignment is simply to feel good, or better. This confuses me, as I keep having this life lesson show up in a very real way. I am ready to heal, move on. Would love your advise on how to feel the feelings without becoming overwhelmed? Sending love and thanks xxx

  22. This video really resonated with me. All my life I have felt this strange sense of inadequecy in everything from my career to my love life and my personal relationships and this video really truly reflected that I am standing in my own way and this cycle will continue if I do not show up for my “universal assignment,” which is loving myself enough to know that I am worthy of all the love and good things that I desire as long as it is coming from a truthful and honest place. Thank you again, Gabby, for taking your wonderous lessons and spreading your messages so that we can all become the wonderful people we know we are meant to be. Xoxo

  23. This reached me in a moment where I am finally starting to accept my assignment, which has caused me much pain the past. Just making shifts in my lifestyle and habits, and this is the perfect reinforcement of my choice. I replayed the beginning over and over, because it felt symbolic of how the assignment kept showing up and up in my life, and now I’m finally going to move through it. Thank you for speaking truth and being light.

    1. Gabby, I always listen to your vlogs, but never post….. I do love listening to your delightful blend of the spiritual, emotional, physical and mental. They are a reminder for me every week. I particularly wanted to thank you for sharing about your work with a therapist. As a licensed psychotherapist, I am always so pleased when people share about the power of working with a good solid therapist when they are open and ready to do a chunk of growth. Many people do not share that they have been to therapy for fear of judgment for some reason. I love incorporating mind, body, and soul into therapy and am thrilled that you are having a growth spurt! Continue to spread the light girl!

  24. Right on the mark. We have to reach out when we are struggling. There are so many amazing therapists and healers out there waiting to help. I am having issues with my sleep… a problem that is getting worse, I know, because of unresolved trauma. I put it out there and was led to Katharina, a BodyTalk practitioner here in Uppsala, Sweden. Last night I had my first session and I have to say I am a little less un-stuck, and definitely feel more at peace and focused. Meditation is already more effective. Hopefully I can stay on this track. There is a lot of crap to cut through! We all need to find the right tools to help guide us to our best lives. Thanks for the reminder that we are totally capable of healing! XX

  25. Thank you for this message. It came at the perfect time for me. I have been struggling with feelings about someone and not sure why or what to do. As they say, I need to give it up to God and pray for guidance. Thank you!

  26. Dear Gabby,My sister and I have been oil and water since puberty, only a year apart! Now middle-aged and with grown children, nothing has changed with harsh words and old resentments. After a recent “Blow-Out” my Therapist and hers (not the same) told us both we should take a serious, long break from each other lives! The on-going feud is beginning to make us both sick, physically and emotionally. Our families are tired of it and we are too, but neither see each others side. Then “God pushed her out of bed” and she broke her leg in two places, so that I could become her live in care giver during rehabilitation! LOL… It’s a pretty clear wake up call for both of us to make peace. We have been forced into this, as there is no one else to help…. the irony we love each other very much, I just want to knock her out most days! Peace-out , with some bedside humor:)

  27. I’m 37 and my boyfriend of 2 plus years just broke up with me yesterday due to my codependency issues. I was laughing when gabby described her situation – is the universe trying to tell me something?

  28. Something else resonated with me in your talk today and that was that you had been led to a new life coach who was “rocking your world.” I have no idea how to find a life coach but I am in a place where I feel like I can really use one but I have no idea how to go about the process of finding someone who I can connect with. Maybe a topic for a future video?

  29. Thank you so much for this, Gabby. I have mega issues with performance anxiety, so much so that in the past, it has robbed me of sleep and sanity. This week I am taking a big step in facing my fears and am auditioning again. I am ready to show up for my fears and let them guide me to healing. Thank you!

  30. Thank you! I’ve been on the same assigment for 15 years – and so far attemts to leave have failed miserably or left me in fear and anxiety. I need help, and a miracle for this one. I accept, I am willing, I feel it all, now I pray and wait for guidance. Big Love for all that you do! I’ve seen you grow amazing over the past few years and its inspiring and gives me hope for my path.

  31. This was wonderful, Gabby. And perfectly timed. Thank you. Did anyone else notice the shifting light when she mentions guides at 2:29?

  32. Thank you for this beautiful message Gabby. These words are exactly what I needed to hear today and they have encouraged me to make significant change in my life.

  33. Thank you Gabby. I really hear the message here and it’s so true. If we pay attention to these patterns in our lives, we can get the miracle of a lesson.

  34. I went through that same situation life assessments in relationships kept attracting them I accepted it and now see what the universe is showing me.
    I stayed single for a few months my ex is going through court for abuse i kept praying for universe to help show me what they got to offer to get passed it and attract positive people. In NZ there is nothing for women like this I so glad i found it thanks Gabby you are amazing just when i needed the video.

  35. Beautiful synchronistic timing for me hearing your words this morning. After literally just noting down some deep thoughts I was having around acknowledgment of a repeating pattern in my life I’m drawn to watch your vlog. Indeed, the perfect guide is sent to you when you allow yourself to be present to your feelings. Thankyou beautiful Gabby for being that person for me today and on many other occasions. I’m so grateful for your wisdom…..sat nam x

  36. Hi Gabby,
    I realized that this was my assignment a year ago and I have spent the last year really working on developing who I am as a person, as well as deeply connecting myself to service. Being single and getting to know who I am has been a rather large assignment over the past year. However, I have found that the universe has not been sending people into my life who I feel connected to romantically- I feel like service has taken its place instead. I was wondering if you had any thoughts or comments about this?


  37. It just dawned on me last night that this is happening to me, and then arrived your vlog! I’m in a different situation but here I am experiencing the same outcome. I know it’s because of a behaviour that’s not in alignment with my values. Trying to get to the bottom of it, why do I do it? What is the behaviour serving?? This is indeed my universal assignment! Thanks Gabby xx

  38. amazing how the universe works! This weekend has an assignment for me, I decided to show up for it and accept it with a smile in my face knowing it was time to let go. As, I was talking a friend he asked was it the universe that brought that situation to you, or was it because we live in such a small town? I replied it was the universe! It wanted to se how I would handle it! I think I did good but seeing this video helped clear my mind even more thank you! 🙂

  39. Hey Gabby,
    Thanks for the video. About a year ago I decided to show up for the assignment and devoted a year for me to be independent and get to know who I truly am, on an inner level. I have had a HUGE connection to service during this year, and not only have focused on fulfilling my inner-self but also being a light worker for others in my life. I’ve noticed that being in service to people comes from a real sense of knowing pain.

    While it’s been a year, and I am not sure if I am ready to date or not. I keep finding that the universe has been putting people in my life who I can help offer my guidance, but I have not been able to form deep relationships, especially romantic. I was wondering if you had any thoughts/comments on this? Sometimes it’s nice for the helper to be helped 🙂

    Thanks so much,

  40. I absolutely agree. This video has come to me at a perfect time as I needed to be reminded of how I transformed a part of my life by focusing on my inner world and changed it there first. Once it was healed from the inside that part of my life blossomed. Now I must do the same thing for a different part of my life. Thanks Gabby for the reminder. x

  41. Absolutely perfect timing. Your friends story is exactly what I’m going through right now. And you are visiting Vancouver probably when I need it the most. I will be at the events and looking forward to hearing you speak on intuition when I’m seeking guidance the most in my life as I go through a divorce.

  42. Fabulous message today – thank you!! This applies to so many areas of life – I am on the other side of this process and the universe provided such clarity and peace.

  43. Jay, thank you! Just what I needed… I may have several universal assignments asking for healing, so I will get on it. And pray, pray, pray! Especially these days, we need to heal so we can shine even brighter <3

  44. YES YES YES!! Divine timing as always! I JUST experienced this last week! Thank you for making this video and confirming what I had already suspecting! As soon as I surrendered to learning this..the perfect therapist showed up for me! <3

  45. I love you. I met you at the Sun Valley Wellness Festival a few years ago and you signed your book for me.

    Never fails, you always tell me something that I need to hear. Thank you!

  46. Hi Gabby!
    I need help! I ask for help and pray for guidande but I can’t see any signs of being led, or heard. I feel alone and abandoned. This video might be a sign? Am I not open to recive? What can I do?
    Love, C

  47. oh my goodness! This is so cool. I am a testimony to this truth you shared. Just this morning I am struggling with a reoccurring issue in my relationship. I sat and felt the feelings. Such sadness and pain. Then I prayed for help and divine guidance. The step I missed was the accepting this as my assignment. But….I still was given the gift through my prayer of having this video in my inbox this morning, so that I could receive that missing piece. Thank you for this Gabby. Im am thanking the universe for this.

  48. Dear gabby – you sent this vlog in a very dark moment for me. Thought I was in a better place finally but my assignment showed up again this weekend. I had forgotten what to about it – so thank you so much for reminding me and leading me towards healing and love. Sat nam

  49. I don’t know what it was, but there is a shift in the light on the upper right side of the screen at 2:29 that really got my attention! lol thanks for the advice, always. this is something that has been affecting me for awhile and I have been feeling very discouraged.

  50. I really needed that reminder this morning, thank you for listening so strong and delivering such beauty so divinely timed. I’m moving through a big one and that reminder actually got me excited to show up and clear it out! Woot woot!

    Lots of LOVE

  51. Hey Gabby, thank you so much for today’s blog and for being the light. 2 years ago I also completely surrendered and was led to your books. While for some time my romantic sphere was getting better and I experienced some beautiful miracles, at that time I had so much on my plate in all areas of my life that somehow along the way I lost my faith in my relationships area and that it can ever be healed. Now it is still haunting me, especially this sense of guilt, fear, doubt and complete disbelief. Though I still get down on my knees and pray for help without expecting any specific outcome, it seems like all my prayers are being heard except this topic. Do you have any thoughts on how to release this disbelief and doubt?

  52. Exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for your commitment to sharing the message of love, growth, joy, and peace. Hope to see you in Vancouver.????????

  53. Great advice. Very relevant. I think the universal assignments might still show up but the outcomes will be different. Once you’re able to address the recurring situations, feelings, fear etc., the difference will be in how you respond. That’s the way I look at it. I know there will be situations that will trigger certain responses. My task is to recognize the situation, understand my feelings and process them. By responding differently, these situations or people or feelings won’t have the same impact, won’t be a challenge and won’t affect me as in the past.

  54. Love it!! That nudging feeling of knowing you have to surrender and get through it. What our soul already knows and wants us to heal Thank you ??
    With gratitude

  55. Thank you so much for this Gabby. I have been reliving the same situation with a family member over and over since she came into my life. Every time I had thought I had done enough work on it and released it, it happens again with it’s got so bad that I asked god for some guidance and I was shown your vlog. Now I just need to find out what the assignment is so I can heal.

    Thank you so much for the light you share with all X

  56. You are so tuned in. Last night I realized this was my problem in relationships. I prayed. As soon as I woke up today this was posted. Thank you thank you!

  57. Thank you Gabby… this is exactly what I needed… Just “finished” the digital SJMC (it will never be finished 😉 and expressing myself.. Now my husband thinks I am weak and he wants me to move forward (just had to close the doors of my own company after 6 years). For the last two months I tried to handle everything as good as possible but now I am tired.. my husband makes me insecure acting this way… I need to show up.. if not now then when?…

      1. hi ,just got new job ,ask loving people that what got nice work place .my relationship so hard ,my husband stop drinking now is house husband like him be more loving or maybe words i use ,working on been a healer like write a book on my native journey as work spirit animals and nature love it stillness do tarot training love be own boss not easy fit all in .as night carer love my new job fit in just perfect found five pound on way work so bless send.blessings chantel xx

    1. hi sister, maybe take a minute to step back and let the lessons unfold naturally:)

      time and space away from doing can also offer great clarity

I only recommend products and brands I passionately believe in, but wanted you to know that when I make a recommendation, I may receive a referral fee.


The next best thing to having me as your personal coach!


My Proven Tools for Releasing Anxiety & Finding Peace

Free Super Attractor Introduction

Get the 26-minute audio intro

Get Super Attractor Now

Bonus gift: 2-hour Manifesting Workshop


Get my top tips for Spiritual Entrepreneurs with my 10 Ways to Succeed download.


Everything you need to stay
consistent on your spiritual path.

“The next best thing to having
Gabby as your personal coach!”

By using this site, you agree to our privacy policy.

Accept Read More