How to Be a High-Vibe Friend

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Note: I updated this blog post in 2019 for clarity and additional resources.

Are you a high-vibe friend? Or do you do tend to lean a little negative? Maybe you get hooked in the latest gossip or you have a hard time complimenting others.

Here’s the deal: Either way it’s okay. We all get stuck in a low-vibe BADitude from time to time. But with a few simple shifts we can redirect our energy and bring much more positivity to our friendships and our life.

It’s SO much fun to be a high-vibe, good friend. When you bring forth your awesomeness and elevate others you’ll feel energized and empowered. Being a high-vibe friend is a benefit to everyone, including you.

3 ways to be a high-vibe friend

Watch this video for my top tips to ditch the funky stuff and become a high-vibe friend!

Step 1: Redirect the conversation

If you see your friends going down the road of negativity, saying things like “I can’t,” or “I don’t want to,” or gossiping, change the conversation. Redirect.

  • Start talking about what you do have.
  • Talk about all that you’re grateful for.
  • Talk about the good things that are going on in your lives.
  • Compliment the other person. Point out something that’s great about them!

Immediately, your energy can elevate that connection and redirect the entire conversation. You can also use spiritual techniques to protect your energy and avoid taking on low-vibe energy.

Step 2: Show up with a high vibe

If you come to the party with all your greatness, you immediately elevate everyone and you start to clear the path for them. If you show up with your highest intentions and bring your high vibes to the table, people will feel that vibration and they’ll follow you.

My hope is that you can be that light force when you walk in the room and start to clear the path for others to change direction. Your energy has far more power than you can imagine. For tips on how to shift your energy, learn how vibes speak louder than words.

Step 3: Remember you can always choose again

My energy creates my reality. What I focus on is what I will manifest. | Gabby Bernstein | The Universe Has Your Back card deckIn any moment you can redirect yourself. If you’re bringing low vibes and a negative attitude to a conversation, you can choose again fast.

Just today when my videographer, Brittany, showed up, I was in a low-vibe place, freaking out about some family chaos and feeling like crap. So I made a decision in my mind, “I need to choose again. We have work to do. We’re shooting videos. I’m going to choose again.”

Setting that intention invites in a power greater than yourself to lift you out of that low-vibe place and restore happiness and well-being. (Plus, check out my 3 tips to get out of bad mood fast.)

Enjoy being the high-vibe friend! Your energetic shift has a ripple effect and lifts up everyone around you.

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  1. This is so helpful and TRUE! This video really speaks to me! It is really a great Video post to Listen and I found some interesting tips. So thanks for sharing it with us.

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  3. Thank you Gabby! This is so helpful. I found this quote today after watching your video and thought of you: “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that receives it.” ? Edith Wharton, It’s so nice that you can be both!

  4. Thank You so much for sharing this video, I think I’m guilty of both being a low vibe friend and at times I am a high vibe friend. I will incorporate your tools to be the light and the friend that can redirect the conversation as well as myself.
    I very much look forward to seeing and hearing you speak in San Francisco Feb 16th, it is going to be my birthday present to myself. My birthday is Feb 14th.
    Thank You for all the amazing work you do, I am a work in progress and ever since I have started to follow you I feel like there is hope to become better and better, to focus on today not so much on the future or what I don’t have which I am guilty of as well. Redirecting or switching my energy from low to high has proven difficult for me at times.
    Much Love!!

  5. Thank You so much for sharing this video, I think I’m guilty of both being a low vibe friend and at times I am a high vibe friend. I will incorporate your tools to be the light and the friend that can redirect the conversation as well as myself.
    I very much look forward to seeing and hearing you speak in San Francisco Feb 16th, it is going to be my birthday present to myself. My birthday is Feb 14th.
    Thank You for all the amazing work you do, I am a work in progress and ever since I have started to follow you I feel like there is hope to become better and better, to focus on today not so much on the future or what I don’t have which I am guilty of as well. Redirecting or switching my energy from low to high has proven difficult for me at times.
    Much Love!!

  6. Gabby, I am so grateful for you and the message you continue to put out there to make the world a better place. And I can’t get over how the Law of Attraction works in our lives. I put out an e-book to my subscribers a couple of months back, and an entire section of it is on the subject of your post. Not only that, but so many of the same messages I write about seem to be popping up everywhere I turn. I’m so glad that there are so many of us learning from each other and spreading the goodness. You are one of my many wonderful mentors, and I’m so glad to know that I am in sync with you. Thank you, again. XO, Rene

  7. It’s so easy to get in the negativity groove! As a therapist, I’m definitely required to listen to and care for people who are going through rough stuff. I think that’s such an important service. But in the rest of life, there’s a difference between sharing what’s going on with a compassionate listener and just getting stuck in negativity loops.

  8. Most of the time I show up with high energy, but realized I gossip way to much, mostly within family. Recently decided to pay attention to this and remind myself to change the subject every time I catch myself gossiping. So cool to see you mention this in vlog 😉
    Thanks Gabby!

  9. This is so helpful and TRUE! We all can easily fall into the negative talk and drama when with friends but if you are able to redirect it can really turn things around. I did this the other day when a couple of friends went LOW vibe during a really HIGH vibe, fun girls lunch. It worked and they both actually thanked me and apologized for focusing on the negative. Thanks, Gabby!!!

  10. Gabby, thanks so much for this video and you high-vibeing again :-)!
    How about we make “high-vibe” a verb?
    “to high-vibe”…
    So, let’s high-vibe together everyone, shall we 🙂 ?!
    Have a beautiful day!

  11. I was friends with a lot of drama queens! Then I stop talking to them and I said no to all the plans they made just because I thought they would low my vibration with their baditude, now I know that If my vibe is high enough I can change their vibration and make the friendship better and a more fulfilling one! I am also bringing this with my boyfriend to increase the love and fun in our relationship, thank you Gabby… by the way, doing it with the family it´s a little more harder, LOL! HOW CAN I MAKE IT EASIER AND SMOOTH?

  12. Thank You Gabby! You have taught Me soooo much over the past year! I use to be the Debbie Downer all the time, until I started reading Spirit Junkie & Miracles Now! Needed the reminder today. Giiggling! Great Big Hugs Robin

  13. I love that in any given moment we can choose again. You talk about in your fearless relationships course that whatever energy you bring is the energy you will get, that was epic for me to learn.
    High Vibe BFFs forever.

  14. Hi Gabby! Sort of off-topic but I’m relieved that you still get caught up in family drama, even after all the work you’ve done on yourself. I’m having major, major issues with my parents (who refuse to acknowledge that I’m an adult and can’t accept that I make decisions that are different from the ones they’d like me to make).

    I try to bring the light but sometimes it just doesn’t work out…

  15. Thank you so much Gabby for sharing yourself with us and for being so authentic by giving us the behind-the-scenes insight! My favourite vlog is still your ‘Bad-itude’ one, where you were chasing the sunshine on your vacation. You are a bright light!

    Your beautiful top matches your cheery polka dot artwork on the back wall. This video gives a feeling of fun, energetic and colourful – the same energy we aspire to be in the world! xo

  16. I’m not surprised you posted this today because just last night this topic was on my mind. 🙂 I used to be that person who was so caught up in my own stuff and couldn’t see the option for a better way, but I’m proud to say I’ve grown a lot. Recently I’ve noticed that it’s a few of my friends who aren’t being high vibe. I went through a breakup last month that made me really sad but I *poured* through a lot of your old lectures and podcasts and one in particular struck me. You said something along the lines of “Thank God that guy didn’t call back because he’s obviously going through something and the guy you want isn’t.” It was like a light switch for me. When my friends ask how I’m doing, I tell them I’m doing well (because I am!) and that I’m honestly happier than I’ve ever been because losing that guy helped me dissolve my final barrier to complete and true self-love. Those friends keep saying, “I hate him, he’s such a (insert expletive here)” and I keep telling them, “No, it really is for the best. This is okay. I’m okay.” It’s funny to be the one reassuring them but I feel so good about myself and I know that when the time is right, that romantic partner will find me.

  17. I really loved you message. Here’s the thing I am really having trouble dealing with: Everytime I allow myself to be super positive and my true self, I see how women gudge me and turn their backs on me. During a long period I used to be subservient because I realized women’s negative reactions. Now I don’t do that anymore but I’ve come to realize that a lot of women “leave” me for being my authentic self. This is tragic! On the one hand I do not want to have jealouse female friends, on the other hand of course I long for a female friend. Any suggestions on how to handle this dilemma of mine?

  18. What to do if all my friends seems to disapear at once? I’ve been on a spiritual path for a couple of years and a lot is improving, as my self asteem, but many people seems to be removed for different reasons and I’m starting to feel alone.
    My best friends has noticed me becoming happier and more loving but I still struggle in some areas… <3

  19. I can say with pride and self-gratitude that I AM a high-vibe friend and that this is one of my strengths! (And today I’m not apologising for it!) I forgot this was a strength of mine until I watched this video today. My work is not to give too much of my energy away, in places I don’t receive back, as I need nurturing too. I err on the co-dependant side…

    However, I also think there’s a balance to be struck between being high-vibe but also getting your emotional needs met by stating how things are in a healthy way.

  20. Gabby, I picked up your book “May Cause Miracles” by chance and I can’t even say thank you enough for how much you inspire me. I love all your emails and video blogs and the High vibe friend just brought a smile to my face,I love it, that’s exactly how I wake up and try to be everyday!!!

  21. Love this! Sat down and thought of my intention for the week last night. Idecided that I want to be the light this week. It is January, it is dark and Cold. Lots of people are negative right now (I live in Sweden!). I will make it my intention to shine a bit extra this week. Ok it is only Monday evening but I have had a super day and feel like I have added to the World today. Thank you for your super inspiring videos. So greatful.

  22. This is for everyone to read, not just Gabby!
    IF* you know that you will be in the company of others who tend to gossip and are Vibing at a lower frequency than your own, there are simple ways to protect your self and your light. First is protect yourself with a grounding and protection crystal such as black tourmaline. Second is surround yourself with a layer of white, then green, then violet ligh. Some of us are super empaths and other peoples emotions can stick to us, so by protecting yourself before going into the company of others will help. And then if you want you can smudge yourself when you get home wih some sage and take a salt bath. But most importantly…Keep shining YOUR beautiful light! Sat Nam _/_

  23. Sooo funny, I had a girlfriend over for a visit last night, and we stayed up until 2 talking. It was a wonderful night, and a topic of conversation was being conscious of our vibration and how we both nurture and protect. I giggled when I saw your video in my inbox:) Sweet! xob

  24. This video really speaks to me! I find that I have a few people in my life who are low-vibe and that easily affects me. I work really hard to stay high-vibe but sometimes it can be hard to, as you put it, make the choice to get back to a positive place. Any suggestions on what to do when you want to make the choice to be high-vibe, but something in you is holding you back?

    Love your work and your guidance! xoxo

    1. make subtle shifts each day. try a new approach to your the language you use, pray for your negative thoughts to be reinterpreted and choose again as often as possible.

  25. My mom and I call these low-vibers “chi depleters”. We can get a sense of their energy the minute they walk in and scan the room. It’s like they look for weak spots and hone in. So we deflect!!! LOL We high-vibe em and it works wonders. When you approach with a higher, more calm, loving vibe…it turns that vibe around. Often times they catch themselves being low vibe and they re-calibrate. It’s neat, because we all do it, and it’s easy to get sucked in. So it’s nice to have a gentle high vibe adjustment. Which can be done in such a way that the person knows you care and you really want them to see things in a lighter light.
    Love your work, telling the world about you one person at a time. xoxo

  26. I got together with a girl friend this weekend. We hadn’t seen each other in several months. It’s strange not being at college anymore, when your friends were literally just down the hall or across the street. Not even a street, just a sidewalk lol. We had a wonderful time, catching up and talking about our dreams. At one time in my life, I surrounded myself with negative people and lowered my mood to match their own because I felt guilty being happy when my friends weren’t. But, that was only hurting me and my friends. Now, I try and approach every conversation with a smile and good attitude. And that gives them permission to match my own joyful vibe. My friend and I talked a lot about The Power of Now and being mindful. It was a great time and we never stopped smiling!

    Have a great week, Gabby!

    1. Well said! That’s exactly the way I lived! I lowered down to their negative vibes and now I’m thankful that putting out a ‘raise up to my positive’ vibes vibe! I now see myself as worthy and deserving of great relationships!

    2. Thank you Gaby!!!!!!!!!!!!this post appears in the right moment for me,i’m usually a positive person but today,well,let’s just say that i just choose after watching this to re direct my mind!
      Thank you!!!

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