How to Get Sober and Change Your Life

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I want to talk about my sober recovery and how it has influenced my spiritual path, and how being a sober woman for the past 11 years has helped me live a life beyond my wildest dreams.

If you’ve read my book Spirit Junkie (or any of my books), you’re aware that I’ve been on a sober path, and through my sober recovery I found my spiritual roots.

Through putting down drinks and drugs and picking up my spiritual practice, I’ve come to understand that being sober isn’t just about not drinking or using drugs.

How sobriety has helped me live a life beyond my wildest dreams

Check out my video to learn how sobriety has helped me live a life beyond my wildest dreams, and then read on for my top tips for getting and staying sober.

Being sober is about living with honesty and integrity

Being sober is about living a life of honesty and integrity, one where I have a daily commitment to taking inventory of what’s going on in my life and how I show up for the world. And while I’m not here to promote total sobriety for everyone, I am here for any of you who are struggling with addiction.

I want to be a voice of love in this conversation so you can start to see yourself in me and think: “Maybe there’s a part of me that wants to get clean … but I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore, or life will be really boring.”

I can say to you with full conviction that it is very hip to be sober! The greatest gift to have come to me on my sober path is that I know I’ll be where I say I’ll be. If I make a commitment, I will show up for it. What was so heartbreaking for me when I was using is that I would miss so much of my life. I wouldn’t show up. I’d lie. I’d avoid people. I’d miss brunch with my girlfriends because I’d be hungover.

Today, as a sober woman, I will be where I say I’ll be.

Tweet: Let your willingness to change be the driving force to help you take the next right action @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

When you’re sober, you choose your consciousness

Another great benefit of sobriety is that this is the only consciousness I choose. I’m not trying to be out of myself — I’m choosing to be more in myself. Choosing to live in this consciousness has created a beautiful life that has given me a greater sense of awareness of the truth of who I am, and a greater sense of authenticity.

I want to bring this topic to your attention because we know there are epidemics of drug use and alcoholism that are at an all-time high all throughout the world. People are dying every single day from drug addiction and alcoholism. We have to bring this topic to the forefront.

My mission is to be a voice of light for people on a sober path. Countless people have come up to me over the years and said, “Spirit Junkie got me sober.” And I tell them: “The book may have inspired you, but you got yourself sober. You followed the guidance.”

It’s absolutely awesome living a sober life

hope is the conduit for miracles | gabby bernstein card deckIf you’re out there and you’re thinking that it might be time to clean up your life, Spirit Junkie is a beautiful first step to give you that grace and ease. And I’m going to be back sharing lessons on sober recovery and healing from addictive patterns.  You can check out my favorite meditation for healing addiction here.

I also recommend a beautiful book called Living Sober. When I was early in my desire to get sober, I found an addiction specialist. He had me read this book, which helped me see the truth of what was going on for me and helped me set the intention to change my path. I want to suggest this book as a gentle right action for how to start seeing yourself in a different light and begin to create change.

These resources are just the beginning. There are so many amazing resources out there for people on a sober path, but first and foremost I just want to tell you that it is absolutely awesome living a sober life.

Your willingness to change is the first step. Let it be the driving force to help you take the next right action. I pray for you to find peace and to release whatever addictive patterns are standing in your way.

I hope this serves you.

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73 COMMENTS

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  1. Hi Gabby,

    The Universe had your back which I read over a year ago began a process of change in me that allowed me to slowly let go go many things absorb many things and finally i have faced up to letting go go drinking and am now reading Spirit Junkie. It has been 2 weeks now and I tried before but this time it is different. This time it is with intention and an anchor- with love. And so much of this faith began with ‘choosing love’ after reading your book when I just had to read what my retreat roommate was reading that she was enthralled by and couldn’t stop reading and missed seasons for! Thank you for the Love. Namaste

    1. Choose love daily. Choose it on a moment to moment basis. Surrender all the time. (Be sure to check out this blog post too.) Finding support and sticking to your spiritual practice will both serve you greatly in your journey. I honor you for making this choice and send you so much love. So much love.

  2. Hi Gabby,

    I’m in a very dark place at the moment and I’m wanting to start my sobriety journey to repair relationships with my children and family! Any advice of where to start would be fabulous, I listen to your audios almost every day and I am in love with your journey you are truly inspiring

    Jude

  3. My husband is in early recovery and has been struggling hard for the past 2 years. Along the way I’ve developed some very unhealthy habits with co-dependency. My energy and focus is on him and I’m struggling to find my own peace. Any mediations or resources you have that would help?

  4. Thank you for posting this when I need it most! I had a blackout drunk night last night and was looking for a specific quote from you – the one about getting sober and living a life beyond your wildest dreams – when I found this page. Gabby, you have been showing up for me for years now and I’m ready to start showing up for myself. Time to put the drink down, thank you!!!

    Now, off to reread Spirit Junkie yet again.

  5. Great inspiration! Strangely enough, quitting alcohol for me was a no-brainer after a moment of extreme low as a result of the abuse of it. It was truly a moment of clarity where I just made the decision to stop, even though I’ve had many of these lows before. For me this was the start of a new life, and it made clear to me that when you make a conscious enough choice at the right timing, you can change anything in your life. This happened little over a year ago, and have been sober since, and truly cannot envision a life anymore where I would again drink alcohol.

    Reading your book Miracles Now, in one chapter discussing you quitting coffee, was such a moment of clarity two weeks ago, where I realized my next big thing… coffee! And again, it’s as if a window of opportunity and extreme willpower opens up just waiting for you to make the call… and I did! Cold turkey, just did it. It gave me 3 days of hangover-flashbacks, but now I just love the energy that’s been returned to me. Sometimes I feel like a kid again with all this clarity and energy! And just by being the way I am now, I’m attracting others that follow my example.

    Great stuff, thanks for the inspiration! Where is your book or writing on chocolate? ; )

  6. Thank you so much Gabby! I have been trying to get sober for the past two years. It’s been really challenging but I think this time it will stick. Finding spirituality has been so helpful and has really given me a lot of hope. You are one of the people who has helped me get on my spiritual path. Thank you, I’m very grateful✨❤️

  7. Gabby,
    Thank you for starting this blog. I read “The Universe has Your Back” and have been able to resonate with so much in it. I have been sober for eight and a half years now. Getting to know myself in sobriety has been a gift but no where near the gift of connecting with the universe. At around four months I was able to see the divine working in my life and have been pursuing that relationship since then. I appreciate your love and honesty in your writing and am excited to see you move forward with this venture. Many blessings… Sheri

  8. Thank you Gabby. I keep watching this video over and over… just bought Spirit Junkie (already have May Cause Miracles & Miracles Now). So happy I also gave myself the gift of your Miracle Membership as it’s been helping me greatly! Lots of Love from Turin, Sara
    xx

  9. Hi gabby thanks so much … You have been an inspiration and real friend to me in my imagination I sit and consult myself with your words I now show up to my life less fearful some days are easy and some are tough but I loom over at your books on my night stand and smile knowing the universe has my back as you would say I’m trying to set other woman free as well my story is huge from abuse to drug and alcohol addictions.. my story doesn’t make me sad anymore I used it for my own healing now I have work to do which is to heal others. Thank you. I hope I get to meet you personally and thank you for sharing your story and saving some of us.

    1. so beautiful… thank you so much for sharing. it’s so amazing to see that you are showing up to heal others! xo

  10. Hi, beautiful Gab. You know from our past conversations that I am on a Sober Path in many different ways — not because I think I have an addiction; but because I am ready to release any and everything that dulls my light. Sugar is gone. Grains are gone. Now, I am working on the wine. I am not there yet, but I on my way. I thank you for your work, your encouragement and your powerful example of how amazingly awesome and freeing it is to be a sober woman.

  11. Here’s the question this brought up for me. Lately I’ve been drinking way more than I’d like to be. In the past I’ve had other vices. The thought of making a commitment to complete sobriety scares me so much, but then I think – maybe that’s a sign that I need to?! If I decide not to though, how do I set myself up to have a healthy vs. addictive relationship to these substances?

  12. Thank you Gabby. I admire your strength so much. I’m turning 40 this year and I have been abusing alcohol and food for most of my life. I have myself addicted to sugar and I have drinking issues. I numb my emotions in whatever way I can. I wanted this year to be about change. That has not happened yet. I fail at every attempt I make. I need to change my life, but the withdrawal from sugar and the need to have my nightly glasses of wine is so strong I hate the feeling I have without it. But I hate what it is doing to me. Its like I want to give up my bad habits but in another way I’m so dependable on them I don’t want to deal with life without them.

  13. Thank you Gabby for your gentle reminder of one of the gifts of sobriety of being where we say we will be. I have been blessed with ” a few 24hrs” under my belt. I’m living proof that a family can survive, a daughter can get sober & a marriage can be intact. By being grateful & putting one foot in front of the other.. Yound adults as yourself getting sober is such a beautiful & wonderful gift. Not only to their immediate families but also as an example for whom ever they come in contact with. I first heard you on Anna David After Party podcast. Keep up the good work. In closing I have been saying this in my morning meditations lately.
    “Thank you God I woke up & didnt come to”
    Be well. J

  14. Gabby, that is a beautiful video. A wonderful reminder that on this journey we all have responsibility to help ourselves out of whatever addictions enchain our Spirits and into strengthening our own minds. J. Krishnamurti said “It rained last night heavily, and now the skies are beginning to clear; it is a new fresh day.” Thank you for being there Gabby, You are a wonderful example of how to turn a life of guilt and shame around and become proud of who you are again. Satnam.

  15. Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised. I am 4 years sober and so grateful for my life today. Sobriety also introduced me to my spiritual path. Thank you for sharing yours with us. Gabby you are such an inspiration to me and my business. I am the director of a womens recovery house in Alabama. I’m a miracle member and we listen to your talks daily, as well as guided meditations and read your books. We thank you for your path and lighting the way for us! I am so grateful for this way of life.

  16. Gabby thank you so much. I’m going to be brave here and tell you I realized, with my therapist’s help and a book that I have a sex addiction. At first I didn’t see it. I would think, what’s the big deal if I want to have a one night stand? So addiction is a tough word for me, so now I say unhealthy sexual behaviors. I couldn’t see going on a date and not wanting to have sex. I’m working on some past stuff that brought me here. Now I’m starting to date, and I’m thinking no way am I having sex until it’s someone I care about, and they care about me. My thoughts are changing and it feels good. I love how you said get more inside yourself, rather than using stuff to get outside yourself. That’s a gem
    Thanks Gabby!!!
    Light and love,
    Traci

  17. Hi!! I have been sober for 3 years now ! It was the best decision I’ve ever made although at the time I thought I was going to die -I was full of pain, and depression, and was defensive about getting any kind of help – finally I couldn’t take it any more . I was sick and tried of being sick and tired. I had to make a change. AA has kept me sober and I thank god for it. Now that my head is clear I’m open to new things although I have fear that pops up but I work on that. I’m also in the middle of a book the universe has your back it’s a big help! Thanks gabby for all that you do! ❤️

  18. Here’s the question this brought up for me. Lately I’ve been drinking way more than I’d like to be. In the past I’ve had other vices. The thought of making a commitment to complete sobriety scares me so much, but then I think – maybe that’s a sign that I need to?! If I decide not to though, how do I set myself up to have a healthy vs. addictive relationship to these substances?

    1. Can you please let me know if you’ve received guidance on this? I’m struggle with my sobriety from one week nothing to 3 weeks I can barely remember. Any tips or hints/ support I would be so thankful. This is a hard journey. I’m feeling

      1. Soni, I believe that Source energy/God/The Universe works through doctors and trained practitioners. Have you ever considered going to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting? I suggest Googling AA in your area and checking out a meeting. The path to recovery is laid out for you in the Twelve Steps. This practice has saved so many lives and helped me tremendously in my recovery process. Also, check out the website intherooms.com. It’s a great place for online addiction support. You are not alone. Sending you lots of love and peace. <3

        1. Thank you so much for your guidance. I can feel your white light. I had been looking up AA meetings prior to reading your blog. A friend is supporting me, by attending on Thursday. I will check out the website forum also. Thank you so much. Today is officially day one, I’m scared. You’ve helped put my soul at ease. Namaste x

          1. Grateful to hear that you’re attending a meeting this week and have the loving support of a friend. You are on a beautiful healing path. Sending you lots of love.

  19. Today I am celebrating 8 years sober 3/06/09 Thanks to programs like AA I live today honestly and with integrity, I am a woman of grace and i love my life. I am also vegan, because its impossible to be kind and be of love and consume anything that has suffered. Peace love and light

  20. I have an eating disorder. I have had it for a long time and it has ebbed and flowed through the many phases of my life. I used to compete in a sport that forced me to be weighed to qualify for competitions. I have a proclivity to both overeat and to not eat for days. I go to opposite extremes in the same week. That is something I don’t think I’ve ever said aloud and certainly haven’t typed anywhere publicly. I am in therapy for trauma and childhood abuse and whenever my therapist brings up anything having to do with my body, food, etc… I immediately steer away from the conversation. And it is definitely an addiction: it is an addiction to the disordered way of living, I guess. I want to get “sober” from it… but it seems to complicated – it isn’t something you can just abstain from. I started praying over my food when I listened to The Universe Has Your Back – it has helped. But the core issues are still there. What made me think of this in the video was when you were talking about if you say you’ll be somewhere, you will be there. I struggle with this because if it is a good day and I am going to a party with lots of food, it is fine. But if it is a bad day, I bail last minute and let people down.

    1. Amelia, I have an eating disorder also. I lost 50 pounds and have kept it off for over 40 years through a 12 step program called Overeaters Anonymous based on Alcohol Anonymous. You can find a place near you by checking on the web. Good luck! If I could do it, You can do it one day at a time.

  21. Today is my 100 days 🙂 the universe brought me to your most recent book (Universe has your back) within the first 30days of my recovery program and it has helped SO much! My husband and I both currently going through May Cause Miracles. I’ve been on my spiritual path for years for chronic health issues, trauma, etc…but ultimately never truly realizing that putting sobriety first was the missing piece to EVERYTHING! Thank you so much for your work Gabby! Namaste!

  22. In 1997 my disease caught up to me and almost took my life. I had everything to live for including 2 beautiful children but suicide actually seemed like an option. The insanity of alcoholism and addiction. My journey began on Mothers Day and my spirit was brought back to LIFE. Today and everyday I celebrate life, sharing my experience, strength and hope with everyone I meet on my journey. I had a spiritual experience on a yoga mat in 1997 and I have dedicated my life to teaching, loving and being the best example I can be. Gabby, you are a very bright light whom I admire and it is an honor to be on the journey with you. Namaste soul sister…I look forward to meeting you one day as we have a mutual friend. Blessings on the road of recovery.

  23. Gabby,
    I have a few of your books and honestly I was beginning to wonder if my lack of sobriety was preventing good things to come my way from the universe. I have been praying daily and asking for guidance. You email was the first thing in my inbox. I am going through a very painful divorce and I am lost. I have been drinking more than ever to help my anxiety and my utter sadness. On top of all of this, I now need to find my path and my career.

  24. Dear Gabby,

    Thank you so much for what you do you are my role model big time. This really hit me. I basically never go out, but when I do, it’s like I’m back in college. I was invited to a friend’s birthday party in Santa Monica, which was perfect because I got a ticket to your talk. I got my own AirBnB so that I would wake up and meditate, and figured I would just chill and read your book before going on Sunday. Of course, I partied, didn’t wake up for Sadhana and didn’t make it to your talk. I was in this crazy state of denial, like manic-y happy, and then the anxiety kicked in. I managed to do my sadhana around like 6 pm, and felt so much better. I woke up this morning and I felt like I was hit by a train. I freaked out, and got subs for my classes, and started to panic. And saw the number 77777 on a receipt (I’m obsessed with Angel Numbers). Then I saw your video and started crying. I saw that you said you were sober for 11 years, and googled how old you were. I will be turning 26 in two months and then I really started to cry. The Universe has gotten to me loud and freaking clear. You have gotten to me. I’m going sobes status from this moment forward.

    1. I feel this so much. I’m 28. The past few months I’ve been going out 1-2 times a month drinking so heavily I have memory gaps. Every time I’ve done this is was because I didn’t want to be home alone. I am normally fine being home alone as I am introverted, but periodically I just can’t take it on some Fridays or Saturdays. I feel so so bad about myself after on a multitude of levels afterwards. There is the physical hangover, as well as realizing I don’t remember things, plus how expensive it is… these nights don’t add anything to my life. I’ve had period of up to 3 months of no drinking, on and off, since college but I’ve also have this same overarching pattern too. Now that I’ve connected to a spiritual side, it’s becoming more and more painful each time. Now I can FEEL the Universe inviting me to notice it and choose something greater. At the same time the thought of complete sobriety is so so scary. But I don’t think the timing of this post, after another one of those nights out, is any accident.

    2. I feel this so much. I’m 28. The past few months I’ve been going out 1-2 times a month drinking so heavily I have memory gaps. Every time I’ve done this is was because I didn’t want to be home alone. I am normally fine being home alone as I am introverted, but periodically I just can’t take it on some Fridays or Saturdays. I feel so so bad about myself after on a multitude of levels afterwards. There is the physical hangover, as well as realizing I don’t remember things, plus how expensive it is… these nights don’t add anything to my life. I’ve had period of up to 3 months of no drinking, on and off, since college but I’ve also have this same overarching pattern too. Now that I’ve connected to a spiritual side, it’s becoming more and more painful each time. Now I can FEEL the Universe inviting me to notice it and choose something greater. At the same time the thought of complete sobriety is so so scary. But I don’t think the timing of this post, after another one of those nights out, is any accident.

  25. Thank you so much for this — I’m not sure I’m ready (or, honestly want to?) to be completely sober, but I certainly want/need to lessen my dependence on alcohol…especially since I know it affects my mental health so strongly and negatively. Browned out on Saturday night and spent all of yesterday hungover + feeling anxious I’d done something embarrassing I couldn’t remember. Certainly need to hear this about making a change.

    1. I know how you feel. I wake up every morning thinking I’ve got to stop this. By the time evening comes, I have all the excuses in the world to take just one drink. It comes down to me not being so sure I WANT to give it up. I’m thinking of ordering the book. Good luck on your journey.

  26. Gabby, Thank you so much for sharing your story and telling your truth. It gives me the hope and faith that I too can live a peaceful sober life. I have been struggling for many years but finally I feel like I’m on the right path. I am in the middle of reading “Spirit Junkie” and this email/video could not have come at a better time. Love & Light.

  27. I was excited to see this video and hear of your own struggle with sobriety. I am in that inbetween right now of wanting to be sober and not have to use but I’m whit knuckling my way through. Very inspiring and an answer from the universe to my call for help with this issue. Will b awaiting more and am finally going to read Spirit Junkie!

      1. You lost my respect thats for sure…censoring posts…guess I got to you with my statement about being me being vegan.

  28. Gabby.
    Thank you. For years I read your books and watched your talks and I knew what my path needed to change. I am 25 and almost at my 100 day mark. Thank you for shining a light in a dark area for people like me.

  29. Yasssss sister. Thank you for sharing your truth. I celebrate one year next week! The universe led me to your Spirit Junkie book when I had a month or so. It was the perfect complement to my 12step work. Being able to show up as my authentic self and liking who that person is has been the greatest gift of recovery and im just getting started. I thank you for sharing your story and living by example. Its mad cool to be sober.

  30. Gabby.

    You are beautiful, inside and out. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I have been blessed by jumping into your teachings. Spirit Junkie was a big savior for me too and I have been sober for the past year and a couple of days. It has been an amazing experience. I absolutely love it. Alcohol cannot give me what feeling my feelings have and I thank you for what you teach because it has been of great help in my journey. Hope I can meet you in person some day. My sister lives in NY so maybe I can go to one of your lectures some time. Lots of love to you from P.R., Laura

  31. Hey Gabby,

    I am always marveled at how you manage to articulate what I am thinking, seriously!!! You are wise beyond your years and a true light worker! Thank-you for talking about the many gifts that accompany sobriety. Too often a life without drugs and alcohol, (which I left in 2003) is looked upon as a life that is tainted or that we are missing out. Times are changing and in recent times, sobriety is the new cool, hip and sober! I look forward to seeing you at She Recovers in NYC!

  32. Hi Gabby,

    Thank you for your service and message delivery of authenticity. As I celebrate my 10 year anniversary from a addiction to crystal meth, I too am living a life beyond my wildest dreams. I just want to publicly support and encourage anyone who is struggling with this (or any other destructive addictions) that it is indeed possible to live a happy, joyous and free life by following your simple and powerful suggestions.

    Before sunlight can shine through the window, the blinds must be open.

    Peace & Love

  33. Thank you for this video! This is so important to all generations ! I read you’re book when I was in treatment for alcohol and prescription drug abuse. It has helped my spiritual path in many ways! I passed the book on to my daughter who is 22 yrs old. She was having problems in her relationship with a boyfriend. She saw the book on my coffee table and wanted to read it! So she still has and it makes me happy that their are spiritual teachers like yourself to make this world a better place to ride on our journey.

  34. The first time I head about you was when I was drunk in a bar, middle of the day, on my own reading Marie Claire. I stumbled to a book shop so drunk I could barely stand and brought Spirit Junkie.
    It was the catalyses for so much positive change in my life. I’m an aid worker and my specialism is war and disasters – I took that book to 11 countries and read it over and over. It was the only evidence that change is possible.
    That was about six years go. So much has changed. The drinking has not. I don’t drink as much, but I still have a real issue. I’m tinkering with giving up. I almost go to a meeting. I follow every sobriety group there is. I just can’t seem to shake this monkey off my back.
    The hardest thing about giving up is I still love it so much. I love the taste. Yet I wind up the same everyday I drink – why have I done this to myself again?
    Love George

    1. Hi George,

      I can highly recommend looking up Annie Grace and her book This Naked Mind. I know it will help, when you think it is impossible to give up something you love so much, a best friend even. Her book and programs are AMAZING and help you make a conscious choice to give up without feeling like you are missing out on anything.

      Good Luck

  35. Wow, how incredible the universe is when it’s yelling very loudly. What I mean is that I woke up several tines last night with anxiety, nightmares, guilt and shame all because my body was processing the insane am out of wine I cunsumed right before bed….I’ve struggled for years with my addiction. When I finally woke up to get ready for work today, I said it’s time, it’s time for change and I’m not scared any more…then Gabby’s email pops up on my phone about sobriety. I chuckled and said to myself ok universe I’m ready for you. Thank you Gabby

  36. Thank you so much for this. I heard a voice similar to what you mentioned in Spirit Junkie saying that if I just put down the drinks I’d be successful beyond what I could imagine. It’s day 98 for me.
    Actually, I today filed for my 501c3 status to create a non profit that serves as a fitness center for people in recovery in Atlanta! ❤️

  37. Thank you Gabby. The timing of this couldn’t be more appropriate for me. After 25 years of abusing alcohol, and several periods of sobriety ranging from a month to 9 months, I’m ready to make this change. You comment in the video about choosing THIS consciousness really spoke to me. The fear of what a sober life will look like, or what a sober me will be like has been holding me back, but I’m so fed up of my dependency on alcohol…. I look forward to more from you on this topic. Thank you.

  38. Thank you so much for this! I am 5 years sober and agree that being able to know that you’ll be where you say you’ll be is a HUGE blessing that comes with true recovery.

    The world needs more beacons of light in recovery giving hope and inspiration to those who are stuck in the endless cycle, not wanting to continue, but not sure there it is possible to really live again.

    I was one of those people who thought that my life would be over and boring if I got sober, and honestly, it was so dark, that I was okay with that as long as I didn’t leave my children without a mother.

    I can 110% attest that sobriety has brought more opportunity and more life into not only my life, but the lives of my children than I could have ever dreamed. It’s allowed me to connect spiritually with the world and I’ve been able to achieve almost every dream I’ve ever had and contribute in ways I never thought possible.

    I really appreciate your honesty and your openness with your journey. Again, thank you for allowing your beautiful light and message to be shared with the world! <3

  39. Thanks Gabby,
    Love your journey…
    I chose to stop drinking because of a pancreatic cyst that was found, and advised to stay away from alcohol from my specialist. I continued to be a social drinker, then one day it finally hit me to STOP! Wasn’t hard at all… I still go out and have fun and find people/ friends that are BIG drinkers are in awe of my decision and success. On occasion I’ll have a half of glass of wine, but it doesn’t taste/ feel good anymore. My healthy attitude feels GOOD! ☮️

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