How to Forgive Someone: A Simple Spiritual Tool

Note: I updated this blog post in 2022 for clarity and additional resources.

In this post I want to talk about the F word: forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a topic that’s prominent in all my books. It’s a core theme in spiritual practices, and it’s necessary if we want to live with freedom and grace.

I want to give you a very simple tool that has helped me greatly when I need to forgive someone.

A meditative practice for forgiveness

If I’m in a heated place, no matter how angry or wounded I may feel, when I use this practice I can always come back to a place of oneness and forgiveness. Check out the video and then read on for more, including written instructions for this meditation.

Forgiveness meditation

This forgiveness practice is simple: Sit in your meditation and call in the person who you resent or who you’re mad at. It might even be yourself in some cases.

Think about all the things you love about them. Call on all the reasons you feel connected to them, all the ways in which they bring you joy, all the ways they support you.

Tweet: No matter how angry or wounded I feel, I can come back to a place of oneness and forgiveness. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

If you have a hard time thinking of things you love about the person you want to forgive, you can call on the valuable lessons you’ve learned from difficult times with them.

Call on the good that has come from this relationship. Start to cultivate the feeling of that goodness, love, acceptance and appreciation.

As you do this you’ll feel a sense of relief wash over you. This is forgiveness.

The feeling of relief, release and surrender means you are letting go.

Forgiveness is a process

Remember that forgiveness is a process. When you need to forgive someone, I recommend being in this practice for 30 days. Use this simple meditation tool once a day for a month and let that presence of relief start to settle in.

Let the relief move through you and clear you.

Feel better fast with my FREE Judgment Detox Mini Course

In my free Judgment Detox Mini Course, I guide you through 3 core practices of my book Judgment Detox. Through these short video and audio lessons, you’ll begin the process of releasing judgment so you can feel better fast.

Forgiveness is a core component of my Judgment Detox method, and in step 6 I teach you how to practice radical forgiveness so you can be free!

Start today with my free mini course.

Your willingness is all you need

While this forgiveness practice is simple, forgiving someone can be hard. When you have a lot of hurt or anger, it can be difficult to surrender. But all it takes to forgive someone is your willingness. And you can start by focusing your practice on someone you might resent just a bit. That can be a lot easier to release.

I want to hear your miracles! Jump into the comments and let me know how this forgiveness practice goes for you. It has supported me greatly, and I hope it supports you.

Understand your attachment style

Understanding your attachment style will shed light on any patterns that are holding you back in relationships. It will help you release resentment, and develop a deep sense of forgiveness for yourself and others.

I designed the free, 2-minute “What’s Your Attachment Style?” quiz to help you understand your own attachment style … and begin to undo any blocks to forgiveness. I hope this serves you in many, many ways.