Are you a sensitive person? I sure am. This characteristic can be very powerful if it’s fine-tuned. But when a sensitive person is unaware of their heightened empathy, it can become overwhelming and sometimes scary.
When we’re highly sensitive, it’s easy to pick up the energy of people around us. And even if you’re not highly sensitive, it’s important to create healthy boundaries in order to protect your energy. This way you’ll be less affected by the energy of negative words, news and people.
I want to share some great techniques that will help you create healthy boundaries and protect your energy.
How to create healthy boundaries and still be loving
Watch the video below or keep reading for my tips on how to create healthy boundaries. (I added 3 more tips, below, in 2019!)
1. Set the intention to protect your energy
I often suggest to my audiences to take a look at how I am when I’m on the stage, wide open energetically. And then a few minutes later, once the event ends, they’ll see me doing a book signing. And so I often suggest that they pay attention the difference in my energy. My energy shifts when I leave the stage and start the book signing. I’m a little more closed up.
The interesting thing that occurs is that I’m still quite loving, and kind, and generous. But I’m not leaking my energy. How do I create boundaries but still be loving? It’s very simple: just set the intention.
Before you enter a room with people, set your intention to protect your energy and create healthy boundaries. In your mind, say, “I set the intention right now to be loving, to be kind, to be forgiving. But I’m also not going to leak my energy. I am not a sponge. Right now I am not going to take on the energy of others.”
This is especially important if you’re going to be entering a space with someone who has very needy energy, or someone who is negative. You can even do this before a phone call or when entering into a situation that isn’t face-to-face.
Setting that intention immediately creates this invisible wall. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have a negative attitude. It jus means that you’re saying, “You can’t come in here.”
2. Believe you have an invisible gatekeeper of your energy
A good friend of mine, Kyle Gray, who is a beautiful medium, told me that I have an angel named Peter who is my gatekeeper. I can call on Peter whenever I do a book signing or when I’m around a lot of people where I might feel like my energy is getting depleted.
Open up to the idea that you have your own invisible gatekeeper. Create an image in your mind of who that may be. Maybe it’s an angel, maybe it’s a spirit guide, maybe it’s just an energy force. Call on that gatekeeper to close your gate when you want to protect your energy.
You can call on this energy gatekeeper by saying, “Thank you for closing my gate right now.” For example, right before I sit down to a book signing, after I’ve just been wide open energetically on the stage, I will say, “Thank you, Peter, for closing my gate.”
3. Recognize that ‘no’ can be the most loving response
This is a tip from my book Miracles Now, and it will help you establish boundaries by becoming more comfortable saying no. My friend Latham Thomas has a simple yet profound saying that serves me well: “‘No’ is a complete sentence.”
We all have our own issues around saying no. A lot of the issues stem from people-pleasing behavior and the need to receive approval. Our work is to recognize that doing anything that’s out of alignment with our core beliefs and truths will never work. As we come to accept this, we realize that no is often the most loving response.
Some people will resist your no’s, and manipulative folks will do whatever it takes to turn your no into a yes. Be mindful of these people and trust that the more you exercise the word “no,” the more it will become second nature.
When do you have trouble saying no?
To begin this practice, take an inventory of the areas in your life in which you are saying yes when you really want to say no. Make a list of all the ways you avoid saying no and then clearly outline how it affects your relationships and happiness. Here are some questions to get you started:
- In what instances do I avoid saying no?
- How does this behavior affect me?
- How does this behavior affect the other people involved?
- How would it have helped me and the other people involved had I said no?
Now that you have more clarity, the next step is to begin exercising your no’s. This new behavior requires repetition. Don’t worry about how to say no perfectly. Just get into the habit, even if it feels awkward or scary at first. The more confident you get at saying no, the more people will thank you for it. (You can also read more on how to tell the truth.)
4. Restore your energy after an encounter
If you haven’t protected your energy before an encounter, then you can restore it afterward with a simple prayer. Say this prayer if you feel drained or negative after an interaction:
“I ask that any negative energy I picked up be removed, recycled and transmuted. I ask that any positive energy I may have lost be retrieved now.”
5. Get more guidance in my free mini course
Check out my free Judgment Detox Mini Course for 3 core practices of my Judgment Detox method. You’ll feel fast relief with these techniques.
Setting boundaries and protecting your energy will help you stay positive, aligned and happy, and you’ll still be loving, kind and generous. Create loving boundaries and trust that you will be taken care of.