We Can’t Live in the Light All the Time… But We Can Come Back Fast

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One time when I was giving a talk in England, a woman asked me, “Gabby, do you live in the light all the time?”

I looked at her and I was like, “No way. I get taken out all the time… but I come back fast.”

This is something I want to get real about right now, because I get asked these kinds of questions a lot. Many people think that if you’re a spiritual teacher, that means you are enlightened 24/7. That you live this happy-go-lucky life of perfect joy and serenity.

And then they wonder what’s wrong with them that they don’t live this way.

So let me be very clear: I do not live in the light all the time. I don’t expect you to, either.

I don’t care about how perfect of a meditator you are. I don’t care about how often you pray. I don’t care how many Kundalini kriyas you do.

What I care about is your comeback rate.

I care about how quickly you come back to love.

Because the truth is that we all get taken out. We get knocked out of alignment all the time! We all have egos. We stress out, we freak out, we judge, we make mistakes.

It happens to you, it happens to me, it happens to Oprah. It happens to everyone.

The question is not: How do I live in the light all the time? Because that’s not possible.

Instead, the question is: How can I come back to love and feel better fast?

Check out this clip of a talk I gave at the yoga festival Wanderlust in L.A. In it I talk about an experience I had just that day of being willing to tune back in and then restoring my thoughts back to love. (Warning: I drop an F-bomb, so put in headphones if you’re watching this at work or around kids!)

After you watch the video, keep reading for five simple ways to calm down, get grounded and realign with the loving energy of the Universe before you freak out.

We can’t live in the light all the time… but we can come back fast.

Watch below:

In the video I talked about the experience I’d had that very day when I was backstage getting ready. I felt pretty out of it because I had woken up at 4 am since I was still on East Coast time, and meanwhile there was a whirlwind of energy around me.

I easily could’ve just slumped into a chair and told myself, “I’m way too drained to give a talk right now.”

Instead, I recognized the opportunity to tune back in and restore my thoughts back to love. I prayed and then I meditated. And then I went out of my dressing room and I encountered a man dressed all in white carrying sage and a pitchfork. So I said to this beautiful stranger, “Sage me, man!” He swirled the sage around me and focused his pitchfork vibration on my third eye and helped me tune back in.

As much as I love this encounter, the truth is that you don’t need to be at a yoga festival and have an awesome hippie sage you in order to restore your thoughts back to love! All you need is the willingness to tune back in.

Below I share five simple ways to restore your thoughts back to love and feel better right now. These tips and techniques are adapted from my book Miracles Now, and they all work in just a few minutes!

Use these techniques when you notice yourself feeling drained, stressed, anxious, scared or angry. They will not only help you feel better instantly, but practicing them regularly will shorten your comeback rate, raise your vibration and amp up your attracting power!

Technique #1: When In Doubt, Choose Peace

Living a miraculous life takes commitment. In every given moment we have a divine spiritual assignment in front of us: Choose love or choose fear. Therefore, bring this concept with you throughout your day. In the moments when you witness yourself choosing fear, attack, judgment, and separation, simply say: “I choose peace instead of this.” Make this your mantra.

When you choose love in any way you’re unconsciously connecting to your higher self, asking for love to reinterpret the situation. When you face a difficult situation, use this principle with even more conviction. Trust in its power and you’ll see results you couldn’t have imagined. A Course in Miracles says, “Miracles arise from conviction.”

Practice this principle in all situations and heighten your commitment to miracles. In an instant you will feel peace set in.

Technique #2: Release the Oxytocin!

Sometimes the simplest way to drop a BADitude and bring on the happiness can come through an everyday action. Certain actions activate oxytocin, which induces feelings of love, trust and a sense of bonding.

When you’re feeling funky, oxytocin can turn your mood around, make you feel more connected and revive your overall energy.

Tweet: We can’t live in the light all the time… but we can come back fast. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

One way you can can rev up your oxytocin anywhere, anytime, is to place your hand on your heart. When you do this, your body receives the signal that it’s safe to calm down.

Once you place your hand onto your heart, breathe into it. As you breathe into your heart imagine feelings of love, compassion, and ease pass over you. Proactively collaborate in your healing by breathing into your heart.

Technique #3: Relax and Restore with Yoga Nidra

If you haven’t been sleeping well or had a bad night of sleep, that exhaustion can mess with your physical health, your ability to deal with stress and much more. This practice will help you re-energize your body and mind. When you do it regularly, it will help you re-establish a health sleep schedule.

Yoga Nidra, or yogic sleep, is a deeply relaxing meditative practice that rejuvenates the body and mind. Yoga Nidra is often referred to as “sleep with awareness” because you can go into a space of deep relaxation without falling asleep.

To achieve this experience you will follow my guided meditation, which will help you stay aware and present while relaxing your body.

Note: This is a short Yoga Nidra meditation that is available to readers of Miracles Now. I recently recorded a longer Yoga Nidra meditation for my Miracle Membership, and you can download it free by clicking here.

Press play below to listen to my guidance, and click here to download the longer meditation for free.

      YogaNidraMeditation.mp3

Technique #4: Surrender Control

The ego tries to control all outcomes regardless of how powerless you are over them. This need to control is a major stressor that wreaks havoc on your well-being and happiness. I know this firsthand because I am a recovering obsessive!

The reason we try to control outcomes is because we’re afraid that if we don’t make it happen, no one will. The key to releasing your need to control is to accept that there is a power greater than you working on your behalf to support you.

To get you back into the groove of Universal energy, practice an awesome tool that will help you surrender your need to control.

Make a list of all of the things you’re trying to control. Next to each issue write: I am powerless over this situation and I surrender it to the Universe. Carry this list around with you.

Whenever you notice yourself obsessing, bust out your list and surrender.

Let me be clear: I am not suggesting that you do not have dominion over your own actions. But once you have made your move, it’s time to surrender the outcome.

A simple intention to surrender your control is all you need to experience miracles.

(For more guidance on how to surrender, check out my SuperSoul Sessions talk on the five steps to spiritual surrender.)

Technique #5: Feel Your Feelings for 90 Seconds

This is a technique I learned from my coach and dear friend Rha Goddess. When you have an urge to push down a feeling or escape it, instead give yourself permission to feel it for 90 seconds. You can set a timer.

You can be free from your negative patterns once you truly feel the feelings that dwell below them. The next time you notice yourself caught up in a fearful experience or addictive pattern, take a moment to feel the feeling in your body.

Describe it thoroughly (a tight knot in your stomach, tight jaw, fluttering heart, etc.) so you can clearly identify it when it arises. Then for 90 seconds breathe in and out, allowing yourself to experience the feeling fully.

Don’t deny the feeling or push it down. Just be present with it. After 90 seconds witness the shift in your body, mind and actions.

Try one or more of these tools today and leave a comment to let me know what you experienced and how it helped!

Keep Reading
How to Release Anxiety Fast with Alternate Nostril Breathing
Meditation to Prevent Freaking Out
Tapping to Release Judgment

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55 COMMENTS

  1. I love the 90 seconds technique. I’m trying to make a decision about my life and I’ve been so nervous lately. I feel like everything in my life is tied to this decision. But it’s not true!!!! I need to follow my gut and surrender, that’s it. Thanks Gabby! Love you!

  2. Hi Gabby, this email couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed this, since my husband and I lost our sweet little bulldog of twelve years last Thursday My husband and I were thinking about if we did this, maybe she would have still been alive, but we just had to come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t in our hands anymore. Thankfully she went peacefully in our home, and she lived a long happy and healthy lifeI was also stressing myself about being the stronger one to support us through this, but then I convinced myself that I need that time to mourn also, that we both are here for each other and need to come to peace with our difficult situation, in our own time. Thanks for your supportive email

    1. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. You gave her a beautiful home and helped her leave this world in a safe, peaceful way. Give yourself time to mourn this loss and know that you are supported.

  3. I wish I’d received this yesterday, but I’m glad I have it now. I had a meltdown last night over something small and ridiculous, and I’m ashamed if myself. Also negative. Also not helpful.

    Thanks for this, Gabby.

  4. I went through all five techniques this morning and the stress and tightness I felt earlier have lessened. I especially feel that when we can admit powerlessness over outside influences, then that is also when we truly accept our personal power.
    Technique #4 was especially interesting. While executing this exercise, I wrote down the first things that popped into my head for the list of things I am trying to control. I did 10 of them and just let my subconscious put on the paper whatever it wanted to.
    I wrote things like whether or not people like me and accept me for who I am, not having any negative conflict at all, everyone respecting me, the way I look (genetically speaking), the manner in which others show me they love me isn’t typically the way I wish for them to express it, and then more physical things like how much money I make right now, not being able to pay off all my bills and debts right now, having a reliable vehicle. I am powerless over these and I surrender these to the Universe. Thanks for sharing, Gabby. 🙂

    1. Thank you for sharing so openly and for practicing these tools. I am so glad they have brought you some relief. Surrender is it, sister. Surrender daily. Surrender moment to moment. Expect miracles. Xoxoxo

  5. Awesome! I’m a control freak and often I have this thoughts of how I’m gonna do this or that (future) so anxiety pops up almost 24/7.
    This list to let go thoughts helps me to surrender and feel lighter once I made my moves.

    Thanks Gabby!

  6. I love these. Thanks so much for sharing. You’re completely right. Everyone is going to have their triggers and bad days. It isn’t about constantly being in monk state, but about guiding ourselves back to the state we want to be in no matter what happens 🙂

    Thanks so much for being you. I practiced a lot of meditation before I found you, but you’ve definitely helped me come closer to my spiritual self and the universe.

  7. Thanks heaps gabby. I really needed to read this latest email. It was so me! So I have saved it and will get back into my meditations and start being more positive. Very inspiring
    Thankyou

  8. This reminder is always so valuable, thanks Gabby. A coach friend of mine once said “just because we know something doesn’t mean we’re immune to it” I like to use this thought to give myself permission to feel the self doubt, judgement, comparison and then choose an antidote!

  9. This is so releving Gabby, thank you for this thorough email. So much great information. I am going to do meditation now.

  10. Hi Gabby, thank you for such a spot-on message! This is what I needed today (and this month). Feeling whatever is coming up for me for 90 seconds really helps me move through the energy of procrastination and stuckness, so I can sink into the moment and what I need to do to move myself forward. Now I can fly. Huge hug!

  11. Thank you Gabby. This is exactly what I need this morning too. Trying to eliminate sugar, beer, and start a low glycemic diet at once at 65 is tough, but with your inspirations I can do this, and of course with the Universe backing me. 🙂
    With Love,
    Jo

  12. Gabby, I appreciate your wisdom!! Appreciation is a tool I use to quickly change my energy and vibration. I am appreciating your five techniques. Thank you!!

  13. Thanks Gabby, great timing. Going through some stuff right now and have a huge problem with NOT obsessing about it. X

  14. So helpful. I just spent a week with someone I love but I’ve had to work hard at not letting her trigger me. By the end of the week, after days of not sleeping well, and then catching a stomach bug from my sweet little granddaughter, my defenses were definitely down and she got to me. I was mostly so disappointed in myself. Reading this is helping me to recover fast and as someone else shared “just because we know something doesn’t mean we’re immune to it.” So in retrospect, I did pretty damn well!

  15. Hi Gabby thanks for sharing this and in particular the point about Surrender Control
    I am a big worrier and my main worry like most I am sure is having enough money and beimg financially secure. For me I think the reason is because I love my wife and 2 children so much that keeping them safe, comfortable and secure means the most to me. I am self employed and although I have always been in work and paid well over the last 16 years I worry about not being in work or having enough to provide for my family and in later years. Have you got any advise and can you trust the universe to keep providing?

    1. I want to take a moment to honor your commitment to your family. That is a beautiful thing. Recognize the abundance that is already around you. Focus on all that you have. Cultivate gratitude for the great work you have. Feel gratitude for your home, for your safe family, the food on the table, the gas you put in your car. When you notice yourself stuck in fear around money, conscious focusing on your abundance will help you pivot out of that fearful story and raise your energetic vibration. Joy is the most powerful vibration we can embody. I cannot stress this enough! It is not silly or selfish to focus on joy and do things that bring you joy. The practices in my book The Universe Has Your Back will help you to strengthen your faith in the Universe. You might also be interested in the Spirit Junkie Masterclass – I host it both live and online. (You can get on the waitlist for the digital course here.) This course will help you bring your spiritual principles into your work so that you will have incredible faith in your purpose and know that you will be supported, no matter what happens.

      1. Hey Gabby, thanks for taking time to respond to my post. I’ve saved it to my phone so I don’t forget your tips and advice. I have listened to the universe Has your back on audio and would recommend it to anyone. I even practiced the asking for sign that I was on the right path and within a couple of days my sign showed up, I couldn’t stop smiling. I will focus on what you have said and will check out the sprit junkie class. Thanks again Gabby I love what your doing!

  16. Gabby I’m thinking you should make a poster that I can have on my phone background or print up and hang on the wall
    “I am willing to tune back in”
    Much love Jane

  17. Gabby-
    Thank you for the reminder that it is how quickly we return to the light rather than “it’s wrong if we aren’t in it all the time.” It’s not the black and white but rather the gray of knowing the slips are apart of the journey, but it’s getting to the place of love quicker. I have had an intentional focus this past year of really recognizing when fear is standing in my way, of choosing and giving love when I feel insecure or judging of myself. Your words really speak to me on so many levels. So thank you!

  18. Hi Gabby!
    Thank you for this beautiful, powerful, succinct article. Your words make the 5 tips easy to understand and incorporate into a busy life. I can testify to each of the tips. They work so well. In the past three years I have experienced being physically assaulted by a coworker, witnessed domestic violence in my home, and watched powerless as an oil pipeline was placed over my drinking water well. I felt so overwhelmed by all of these events. I did my best to keep hope and love alive in myself. I had to learn ways to come back to that love and light, and angels in my life brought me all of the 5 tips that you speak of and I used each to survive, grow and evolve through the tough times. I love placing my hand on my heart to feel safe at night so that I could fall asleep! And number 5, self-empathy, is sooo hugely helpful. I would imagine giving myself a hug after allowing myself to feel the hurt and pain, and then I felt ready to move on with my day and open myself to love – giving and receiving.
    I also recommend doing at least one loving thing for yourself each day. I made a joy list of 15 thing that cost money and 15 that are free. I do this daily, but eslecially when times are challenging I turn to the list and pick something to bring me joy (i.e. watch a sunset, laugh, have sex with my husband.) 😉

    1. I am so moved by your commitment to your spiritual path through difficulty. You are a lightworker. Stick to it. xoxoxo

  19. Thank you so much for your light and honesty. I have found having ago at all of them (minus yoga nidra) really helpful and hopeful. I feel softer, more allowing. Thank you Gabby.

  20. Very special thing happened, when I listened to your video. When you talked about the sage, i could smell it
    Love your advice, I tried the hand on the heart. I felt it.

  21. I’m sad because I am unable to download the yoga nidra full meditation , is this something you can help me with gabby ??? I really need it and dont understand why it’s not working…..but other than that I love ALL of your blog posts…

    Aubree

  22. Gabby , can you lead me to a place where I can download the full yoga nidra meditation please? It’s not currently working. I love you and all that you do and I cant wait to do the spirit junkie masterclass in 2019 . #Goals
    I’m going to join your miracle membership I believe. I just hope this comment isn’t deleted like the last one….thanks gabby ! Your such and inspiration … I will be like you one day soon !

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