Are You Over-Spiritualizing? How to Honor Your Feelings

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Note: I updated this post in 2019 for clarity and additional resources.

I often witness people over-spiritualize their issues without dealing with them in an honest way.

Sometimes we rely on affirmations to feel better without getting to the root cause of our discomfort. Other times we talk a big game about forgiveness but, deep down, don’t have a genuine desire to let go and forgive.

If this resonates with you, there’s no shame in it. I’ve over-spiritualized many times. What matters is that we witness that we’re over-spiritualizing and take steps to honor our feelings instead.

What is over-spiritualizing?

Many people are carrying a lot of pain, discomfort and negative experiences. Many people resent family members, friends, coworkers and people from their past. They feel this pain every day but don’t know how to deal with it.

When we don’t know how to deal with our pain, those of us on a spiritual can path can use our spiritual practice to almost overstep the healing process.

Tweet: When you honor your feelings and let yourself move through them, you amplify your ability to attract what you want. @gabbybernstein #Super Attractor

We repeat affirmations but don’t fully believe them, and we aren’t doing the spiritual work that goes along with those affirmations. We may be walking around saying things like, “I forgive, I love, I release.” We post those quotes on Instagram but that’s it. We’re using affirmations in place of doing the actual work of feeling the experience. This is over-spiritualizing.

I did this for many years. I understand it. We don’t actually want to go to the depths and the darkness of the discomfort. That’s what we have to do in order to actually move through the pain. If we simply go through the motions of our spiritual practice, we’re skipping an important step: getting honest about our feelings and honoring them.

How to honor your feelings

If you’re over-spiritualizing instead of really dealing with your issues, I have three concrete tools for you. Keep reading for my guidance on how to honor your feelings.

1. Move through your feelings with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s also known as tapping. This is a practice that allows you to get honest about how you feel and what’s coming up for you. It gives you fast relief so that you can say the things that you’re scared to say and immediately feel better about them.

Here’s a beautiful EFT video from Brad Yates about honoring your feelings:

2. Practice Kundalini yoga

When you do Kundalini yoga, you allow your emotions to move through you naturally so that you can shake them out and have a cathartic experience. That experience of catharsis can be our greatest tool for moving through discomfort, pain and deep patterns of negativity.

Here are some of my Kundalini videos to help you:

3. Speak your truth

I can transform my feelings by being present with them | Spirit Junkie AppOne of the greatest tools for starting a practice of feeling your feelings and moving through them is just to speak the truth.

One thing I’ve talked about is how I handle negative comments on the internet. My philosophy has always been “forgive and delete,” but sometimes a post will really get to me. In those situations, great healing occurs not because I breeze past my feelings and say, “I forgive and delete, and I’m moving on.”

That healing occurs because I say, “I’m hurt. This is uncomfortable.”

I let myself have that feeling. I let that emotion come forward and then I expressed it. And then, once I’ve felt it and honored it, I forgive and delete. Or, if it’s not something I can delete, I forgive and then I ask how I can help someone else. (This is a beautiful lesson I share in my new book, Super Attractor.)

Have you ever had a moment where you expressed your truth to someone and everything changed? That’s often when people fall in love with you more! I’ve had that experience countless times in my life. I’ve just told someone, “This is how I feel,” and our relationship has changed forever. It’s become stronger, deeper and more real. Vulnerability heals. Truth, spoken with kindness, heals.

When you say how you feel and share your truth, you also give others permission to do the same. You become the teacher.

Go deeper with my Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop

Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop - Livestream - Free ticket when you order Super Attractor by Gabby Bernstein

The first important step in attracting what you want to is to honor your feelings. Our feelings send out an energetic message, and the Universe responds by delivering us people and experiences that match our vibration. That’s how we co-create our reality.

So if you’ve been struggling to manifest what you want, back up. Honor your feelings and clean up those energetic requests! This is a process I guide you through in my 2-hour Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop, which is FREE when you preorder my new book, Super Attractor.

In this online workshop, I address exactly what’s blocking you from feeling good and how to fix it. I’ve been applying this method daily as I recover from postpartum anxiety and other feelings. It’s a beautiful practice.

Gabby Bernstein happy in the woods in springtime | Honor your feelingsYou’ll learn how to stop controlling and start allowing. This is a major one for me. I spent years practicing spiritual methods for releasing control. For most of my life, I relied on the control in order to feel safe. The method I teach in the workshop is one that I apply in my own life to undo the fear and need to control.

I also share a practice that I rely on daily: the practice of accepting that good thing can come easily. We all suffer from the belief that we have to struggle to feel good, succeed and attract what we want. In order to heal this belief, we must learn how to accept that when we relax and allow, good things come easily.

Again, these are all practices I apply in my own life on a daily basis. Fear, past trauma, rage and anxiety block us from feeling good and attracting what we want. This workshop will help you undo these patterns so you can be free!

Click here to order Super Attractor and claim your free bonus workshop!

Honor the process and let it unfold

Don’t be afraid to say how you feel, because when you let yourself be authentic you experience dramatic growth. Use your tools, such as EFT and Kundalini, to honor your feelings and move through them. Even if you can’t do it in the moment, do it later in the day when you have the time. Let it be a process. Let it unfold.

In that process you can always bring your affirmations and prayers back in. But first, let yourself feel. Before you post that mantra on Instagram or repeat that affirmation all day long, give yourself a chance to get honest and honor your feelings.

I hope this serves you and helps you honor your feelings. If you feel moved to do so, post in the comments below about what it is that you want to work through. Share how you feel. When you express that feeling, you can start to receive a lot of relief in that instant.

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  1. I feel like I want my ex back even though he broke up with me. Even though he started going out with other women while I stilled lived with him after the break up. Even though everyone around me tells me he doesn’t care about me. Even though I’m a strong empowered woman.

  2. I’m gonna lay it on the line and be very real and vulnerable. I’ve worked through so much crap and baggage over the past 7 years; I used to have panic attacks regularly, but worked through the process; was on medication for that, and through much root digging (inside) and gentle, wonderful counseling, was able to move past it and wean off the meds. I regularly use tapping for a regulator. I’m currently in your SJMC, and I’m growing, growing, growing. I’ve forgiven much and received even more freedom and light inside because of that. I own two businesses and have started a third, along with being a high school art teacher. Just recently, (3 weeks)this intensely strong anxiety has risen up in me, and I have no clue where it’s coming from. I’ve journaled, asked my higher self and Spirit to show me the root cause; I’ve meditated more, etc etc but it seems to be getting worse instead of better. I’m at a loss, and frankly (lol) it pisses me off that its back! I’ve noticed the anxiety is worse when I’m in my classroom, and students start back this week. Any advice? I just keep asking and journaling…the root has to surface soon. Sat Nam.

  3. I have found journaling to help me work through my emotions. Also analyzing my root to why I feel the way I do. Where the root block came from and work through it to let it go. I sometimes think of myself as a 3rd person and look deep within myself and my higher self and ask what advice would I give someone else if this was happening to them. For the longest time I would always give great advice to all my friends but never took the very same advice in to my own life. Sometimes you have to go back in time and talk to that little girl crying in the corner and tell her she is loved and she is beautiful and that she is bound for greatness. Give her the light in which she only saw darkness.

  4. I have been on this change since 2015 and its constant, like a roller coaster that never stops.
    I am forever working through my past and also my present it seems that I get to a point then the ego gets in the way and I feel I am back at the beginning again. Does that often happen to others as well? You inspire me and thanks for your wisdom and allowing me to looking at things in a different perspective.

    1. The ego loves to drag us back into our old patterns and stories. If you can, I recommend reading a book of mine and committing to that 40-day practice. May Cause Miracles will help you add up subtle shifts in every area of your life so you’re not overwhelmed, but see clear progress. It helps you consistently choose the voice of love over the voice of the ego.

      If you do not already have a prayer and meditation practice, I strongly recommend establishing one today. You can meditate for as little as 1 minute a day and build up to 10 minutes, 20 minutes or more each day. Check out my beginner’s guide to meditation.

      So much of being on a spiritual path involves consistency. When you have consistency with your practice, you can ground yourself and get off that roller coaster. (Also check out this blog/vlog on how to reclaim your power.)

      Sending you love + light.

  5. After a bad breakup a few years back, I have bounce back pretty quickly. I have cried my life for a few hours and the pain was unbearable…It was so bad, it hurt so much physically that I had to put a stop. So I just decide to stop. I have deal with this better then I tough because at 27 years old, it was my first heartbreak. I have found out that, I can live by myself. And for so long I was sure that this was the challenge life had for me. To learn that I’m capable of going on with my life, without anyone else. That I was enough. The thing is, that man, who broke my heart. I have take him back. It”s been now more the 5 years and we have a beautiful baby girl and a healthy relationship. And I still struggle to accept what had happen. Now I know that I have to feel the pain and learn from it. I meditate and pray.. I hope to find peace. Just telling it is so much of a release, because I never told anybody.

    1. Telling it is a prayer and the relief you feel is a miracle. I can understand some of what you’ve felt because my own romantic journey involved separating and reuniting in a romantic relationship (I write about it in Spirit Junkie). These blogs can help you heal those old wounds and change your story to move forward on a beautiful path:

      How to Forgive Someone
      Accepting People Where They Are
      Showing Up for Your Spiritual Assignments
      How to Let Go of the Story You Tell Yourself
      How to Tell the Truth

      If you want a deep dive into this topic, you can check out my digital course called Fearless Relationships. xoxox

  6. Hi! Gabby, I am just now discovering you and literally tearing up with gratitude. I have been on my spiritual journey now for several years and now, and I too am a recovering alcoholic. The reason I am writing today is because I KNOW I am supposed to help people, God has placed that in my heart and I have started down that path. I am enjoying the journey, but having a little trouble with the direction? I am trying to focus on the next right thing and I know this will not happen overnight, but I feel I need more guidance? I guess this is new to me, I have always lived inside the box and done what I was expected to do, and for the first time I surrendering on a daily basis to the Universe’s plan. It is just coming through a little fuzzy for me, I need specifics? How do I stand out from the crowd, what makes me unique (other than the fact that I am me), what the hell am I really trying to accomplish here? HELP…PLESSE!!! Thank you!!! Thats the truth I needed to get out there, so I can face it head on!!!!! How to tell if an idea is coming from me and my ego forcing something OR is this divinely inspired!!! THANKS AGAIN and You ROCK!!

  7. From a coach I just learnt that I sense other peoples feelings without them expressing them to me, even from total strangers. I was freaked out. I know this happens when I observe my husband – I can tell how he feels and then I feed off his emotions. So I was stranded with the questions: what about my own feelings? I think part of the response is that I care more for others well being then I care for my own. I feel disconnected from my heart. I know that when I had to put my dog down, that was my own, deep sad emotion that I accepted in crying my heart out. I think part of the other response lies in meditation. I recently joined a 1 hour meditation (alone, normally I can handle 10 min) group. After quite a lot of mental thought fights, I suddenly was in a place where I almost could hear a voice talking to me and there was a message. Tears rolled down my cheeks and silly me, I immediately hoped that nobody is seeing me – of course nobody did. I know meditation will help me to connect to my own feeling, to re-connect to myself and find so many answers I am looking for. Just got to try and include meditation to a daily routine. Love your videos Gabby and just bought the book “you are your own GURU” for my holidays.

  8. Thank you for this video – I think it comes to me at the right time. I have been in various forms of therapy for nearly 18 years and only in the last three years have recognised that the deep rooted problem is co-dependence. Since recognising this, I have then been on a path and seeking the right way for me to understand and move on from this emotionally (and often physically) crippling and debilitating issue. I have tried everything from the Survivors course at The Meadows to the Hoffman process as well as seeking out and trying almost every different type of therapy in order to seek the ‘solution’. Whilst I have learnt much along the way and my awareness is high – I was unable to find a system that truly sang to me… and then I found your books and all. Finally I feel I have found a path that sits well with my soul. The resonates with my heart. That, despite it conflicting with many of my ‘cynicisms’ – I know is right for me. HOWEVER, finding my own practice within this is proving a challenge. I am currently trying to find what is the right practice for me, I am asking for guidance (too much I think) and praying a lot. Gratitude comes highly on my list and helping others when i feel helpless too. I am trying it all without yet knowing what actually works for me, and my fear is that I’m not actually trying any of them well enough or deep enough. I have spent a lot of time sitting in my feelings beforehand, and yet the habits and pains from co-dependence still raise their ego heads on a regular basis. Recently, I have just surrendered. Fallen to my knees and prayed for guidance. But I feel like i am taking a shortcut and being lazy. So then i try to forgive myself! Oy! I think my intention and desire to change is enormous – but I’m not sure if my practice (or inconstant version of the same thing) is helpful or unhelpful. I also think there may be a degree of self sabotage getting in the way of me finding and implementing a routine to this. Maybe the changing nature of it all is ok. I’m just not sure. What I do know is this is the right spiritual path for me (look how long its taken me to find it and embrace it?!) and now i really truly wish to step up to the plate. One quick last note is that i do have an old belief system that something needs to be painful and hard for it to work – is this true? It doesn’t sit right with my thoughts about this. Thank you. Not even sure i am looking for answers but it does feel good to share this. With love. X

    1. Thanks so much for sharing this. The path does not have to be painful and hard in order to work, but we all will have painful experiences. If you have my book, The Universe Has Your Back, go back and read the chapter on Surrender. The key for you, I feel, and for so many of us- is to be gentle with yourself throughout the process. Ego backlash is unavoidable and is only lessened by your willingness to choose again for Love instead of fear. You’re not going to be perfect at it, but you can be more loving- especially with yourself. Remember that it’s a process and you cannot get it wrong. You can always choose again.
      big love to you!
      g xo

  9. Verry Happy! I want to share my review on Dr Mutuma how I got my husband back and testify to the world. I got married to my husband about 4 years ago we start having problems at home like we stop sleeping on the same bed,arguing about little things he always come home late at night and sleeping with other women. I have never loved any man in my life except him. He is the father of my child and i don’t want to loose him because we have worked so hard together to become what we are today. Few months ago he now decided to leave me and the kid,being a single mother can be hard sometimes and so i have nobody to turn to and i was heart broken. I called my mom and explain everything to her,my mother told me about Dr Mutuma how he helped her solve the problem between her and my dad, i was surprise about it because they separated from each other for three and a half years and it was like a miracle how they came back together and love each other. I was directed to Dr Mutuma on his email: drmutumahouseofsolution121@gmail .com and explained everything to him,so he told me not to worry that he will cast a spell and make things come back to how we were, so much in love again and said my husband was under manipulation by a female controlling my husband. He said my
    problem will be solved within two days if i believe i said OKAY. So he cast a spell for me and after two days my lover came back on his kneels crying and begging me to forgive him. Am so happy now. Contact Dr Mutuma (drmutumahouseofsolution121@gmail. com) for any kind of relationship/marriage problem.

  10. i feel so angry and so resentful. I feel frustrated and trapped in a life that I can’t escape. I feel that i have been denied what i want my whole life and there is no way to get it and I will never be able to achieve the freedom I want. I am scared that I will always have to be responsible for everything and I will never find someone to help me in life. And I feel shameful about wanting that. I am constantly judging myself, saying that it is wrong to want to do what I want or live the life I want. And this makes it worse. I am tired of working so hard on acceptance but still not figuring out the way. I feel like such a failure in life. This seems like such a simple thing, and I’m supposedly so smart, but dealing with my own feelings is so hard. I teach people every day how to manage their stories and move through the pain and patterns, but my inner critic is so loud, I can’t manage it for myself. I want to let go, and I want to trust that I will be ok if I do.

  11. I miss my brother. I’m heartbroken. My girls are five and three and he don’t even know them neither he knows me. He doesn’t want to speak to me for more than fifteen years now, more than half of my entire life. I wish he wasn’t that stubborn.

  12. I know this comment is late, but lately I have been feeling like I need to let it all out.

    I have been struggling with anxiety on and off throughout my life. Usually I have fixed it by taking control over every aspect of my life either by eating the right foods, exercising daily, and limiting screen time. This isn’t working for me now no matter how much I try to make my life perfectly regulated. Lately my anxiety has been the worst and most irrational than it has ever been before and I feel scared constantly. I know that this may be an OCD thing, but every day I feel like I am so close to just giving up trying to help myself and full out surrender to my fear. The fight I have left in me is lowly dwindling- it’s the lowest I’ve ever been. I get mad at my fear, I am naturally a fighter and it is making me weak. How can I keep living this way? Needless to say, I am amazed that we as humans can overcome times when we feel as if there is no way we can ever feel better. Hopefully this restores my faith in God and makes me a better teacher and mother.

  13. You guys are full of so much wisdom!

    Right now I’m angry. I’m annoyed at myself because I always seem to drag myself down and overthink things. I overanalyse everything and get stressed about work and perfection. I know that if I just let go and let the universe make it’s magic everything in my life will flow easily but I’m scared to do it. I’m also scared I won’t be able to start living my life after university as I have a bad back thanks to hypermobility. I’ve tried everything to “cure” it but I need to to just learn to be. My life is filled with so many wonderful and abundant things, I just want to enjoy it.

    Wow that all came out fast! I already feel better and like something has shifted. You gals are an inspiration <3

  14. Thanx for this video. I feel sad, frustrated because I do my best to follow my heart and I feel stuck and powerless. I’m scared to move though I do some Kundalini practices every morning, I study a Course in miracles, I pray a lot. It seems that everything is moving too slowly.. I resist and don’t open up fast enough. Sorry. I’m scared. I work on my faith in Love. “Everything is perfect”. “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait without anxiety”… I still have to work on those one. How do you set méditations for yourself on one affirmation for instance. You say it to yourself several times while listening to music for 3 or 11 minutes? Best regards. Des bisous

  15. i feel wildly terrified of the world, crippled by self-doubt & social phobia, my mind has opened every door of pure fear, for i’ve been fragmented by hurt, beaten & bruised, was chewed and spit out before i had all my baby teeth. i am not special, just a lost child. i still have dreams, though. i am a protector, feel very connected to the earth, a natural healer and would like to blossom into that. i want to be an organic farmer and bee-keeper with a tiny home next to a river in forested hills. live a minimalist, self-sustaining life. read & write. adopt or foster motherless & fatherless children. heal the hurting people, animals & environment. i want to feel pure and light again and erase the things i’ve seen & experienced. i just have no idea where to begin. it seems that every time i’ve been on a new healing path, things brought me down even further.

  16. I love this video, although I have stumbled across this video well after it was published the timing is perfect.
    I have just realised my ebook Slay those Demons – which I wrote as a way of starting to face my fear and heal from sexual abuse. I have also started a blog. For so long I have feared speaking out and it has been a emotional healing journey this last week, but hopefully I am getting there already

  17. For me… I feel I haven’t been expressing my truth for a while now ‘cuz the relief that Gabby mentioned isn’t there even after some revelations or sharing things with people. What could it be?

  18. I love this post. I was trying so hard to “love and forgive” this one girlfriend who I felt had crossed the line without actually feeling the feelings first. I finally aired it out, in my journal, and to my other friends and wow I feel so much better. Next time I see her, I might even be able to speak up to her about it. Thanks for this one, Gabby!

  19. I am going through a broken heart and a ton of emotions myself. Its been very hard past 5 months in my life and I feel like while I am trying really hard to surrender and forgive, it is more said than done. It is SO hard to let go. It is so hard to forgive. Its so easy to talk about what needs to be done versus doing it. I need help. I need to know how I should really let go and forgive and become a gentle, happy person.

  20. I am the happiest person on earth today because today My five years run away lover came back to me on his knees with tears on his eye begging me to forgive him and accept him back, Doctor Zaza a great Spell caster made this possible with the help a spell. i saw his email on the internet where a girl post on how Doctor Zaza helped her so i decided to contact his and he told me that every thing will be fine and now i am happy because Doctor Zaza is a man of his world because every went well as he promised me. Are have misunderstanding with your love or his you love seeing someone ex ? what is your problem that you which to solve? contact Doctor Zaza today via email and every thing will be fine okay

  21. Hi Gabby,

    I’m almost finishing may cause miracles and I’d like to know if there are any other books you recommend that teach how to deal and release fear. How to transform it into love. How to accept the good and learn to be happy.


    1. Hi Ana,

      I just started reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I’m not very far along but is mostly talking about fear and resistence. And it brings it all back to self-love and self-worth.

  22. Great info and guidance! Definitely what I needed to hear. Sometimes, being concerned about other people’s feelings, I don’t always share my thoughts and emotions. What I realized from this video is that it is exactly this kind of open honesty that creates intimacy in any relationship, and mostly, creates an intimate relationship with myself! Thanks for sharing the wisdom 🙂

  23. Hi Caroline, no feelings are invalid, so glad you had courage to share, I am same, always holding my own pain within, trying to become more open and real, it helps, you have identified your feelings and behaviours which is great, many can’t , with practice you will feel comfortable in your own space, meditation helps in connection to self- best of luck on your journey,


  24. This post came at such a perfect time in my life (as they always do, thank you, Universe). I am at school for the summer; I’m a rising senior. My boyfriend of a year and a half graduated this year, and we are uncertain of where he will be after the summer. I am trusting, but I miss him a LOT and I am scared. I am trying to just trust really hard, but I am so lonely in my apartment. I have some friends around, but no real desire to see them. I’ve been trying to keep busy with work and my online class, but now even that is starting to fail me. I am often taken over by spells of sobbing.

    I notice that I am hesitant to share these feelings (I almost deleted this post just then) because they seem superfluous or “less serious” than others. I think at the heart of all of this, though, is the fact that I am scared to be alone with myself. Watching a TV show or movie or working on a paper makes it easy to be with myself, but all of those activities serve as a distraction for just being me and experiencing the truth of my emotions.

    I have a lot of exciting weeks ahead, later in the summer, but I feel like I am trying to speed through to the present moment to get to them so that I can just be distracted again.

    Thank you for providing a safe place and a network of support and love. <3 Big Love to everyone who has posted and gotten real about their feelings!

  25. I love this one, Gabby. I tried healing myself through affirmations, and they are no substitute for figuring out and truly releasing what we’re holding onto! This is why I’ve been so obsessed with tapping since I discovered it, too. I’ve seen comments by people who don’t like the negative statements in tapping because they want to only focus on the positive, but facing the truth of what we’ve got going on inside is the way to heal and release it! Thanks for helping to spread the word on this, and for reminding me of what a powerful tool kundalini is, as well. Love and love <3

  26. I am afraid and I feel hurt. I dont know how to trust myself as I dont know if my thoughts and feelings are valid. I feel confused. I also feel unloved a lot of the time. I feel like I have the right to know the truth. I feel hurt and angry.

    1. Hi Susie , your feelings are always valid, even if our thoughts can lead us into away from our truth at times. Our thoughts create the emotions we feel. I have brought myself down that road too many times and belief it really is all about self love even if it sounds like a cliche, it must begin within, validation and loving yourself so you can project that vibration outwards and feel the love returned. So courageous to admit which will open avenues of change for you. How can you express self love daily begin there, nurture yourself and it clears the mind to know what is true. Concrete to spirit through silence and breath, use Gabby.s great meditations, namaste

  27. Beautiful Gabby! I feel resentful on my family for not being able to offer me affection while growing up and I am angry at myself for not being stronger and for needing external confirmation on my value. Thank you!

  28. Thankyou Gabby!! I feel suffocated and held back because of my overeating issues. I feel guilty and over it. I feel fat and heavy and all I want is it to go away. I have to knowlage that I am not this body, I am love. But nothing seems to be working and iv had enough. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated! Xxx

  29. Thanks Gabby, this is something I have been thinking for a while, but I am afraid that if I admit how I feel in my relationships, I will loose those connections. But this video gives me the courage to do it anyway. 🙂

  30. Thanks for sharing this important piece Gabby – I think it wld have been a good reminder for a lot of people and even news to some.

    I feel scared and alone. I’m nearly 40, single and have never been in love. I’m scared I might die without proof that I’m lovable (in a relationship way). I cover that up with afirmations about what a strong independent woman I am. But I do take the time to admit and own the feeling – and almost grieve for the loss of that time with no love and having the option of children pretty much removed.

    For a big issue like this it’s not a one off – feel, release & delete/move on. It’s something I need to repeat regularly.

    Anyway, just got my copy of MCM in the mail and looking forward to becoming a miracle worker 🙂

    Thanks for being you and sharing yourself with the world – the world is a better place for it!

  31. As soon as I saw the title of the post I knew where you were going with it, and thought, “Yep!”

    I’ve said the same thing to people, in slightly different words. Overspiritualizing IS a type of avoidance and affirmations themselves are just one piece of making progress- one also has to do the work. Words are words.
    EFT feels silly, but I think that one of the reasons it feels silly is that it forces you to admin feelings to yourself – especially as you get more and more towards the issue.
    People have to remember that it’s normal to have good days and bad days, and it’s okay. Feel them. Appreciate them.

    1. To add: I just remembered that one of the great things about EFT is that you don’t need to know what the issue is in order to clear it. It could be a repressed memory or something you’re afraid to admit to yourself. You can also omit the words when tapping.

  32. I am very afraid of a professional lawsuit I am involved in, and how the outcome will affect my career. It feels that no one is looking at the facts and everyone involved is happy to let me take the blame.

  33. Thanks for this Gab! So so beautiful – the more authentic we become the better we communicate and create a bond that’s beyond expressing in words!
    I personally using tapping a lot and it works magically! xx sending you love!

    P.S Working as a life coach + Miracle worker – am going to use this tool always in my speaking engagements!

  34. How do I feel? I feel fat and scared that I have found the love of my life and I’m ruining it all by eating so much, putting on weight, not feeling good about myself and then pushing him away, that I am going to break the relationship before it’s even started. I don’t even need or want to lose that much, 10 pounds really but this obsession with food is taking over my life. I don’t want to tell him as to then make it into something in our relationship that I have a problem with but don’t know what to do. It seems so logical that I just need to eat healthily and exercise but I have some insane emotional connection to food that is making me want to eat unhealthy sweet foods all the time. I want to break out of the cycle but am not really sure where to start with it. I think part of it is that I’m scared if I reach a weight I’m happy with then I won’t have any hang ups to think about and it’s been a large part of my life for so long I might feel lost and then how do I keep the weight off forever?

    1. Oh my gosh that is exactly how I have been feeling!! It’s like my weight and body issues are theonly things left holding me back. I don’t want to be held back but I can’t seem to shake this impuimpulsive over eating! Its unbelievably frustrating and confidence stripping.. I’m sending you my love. Xx

  35. I admit, I’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been jumping from one thing to another to help me not feel my real feelings and it sucks. It surely hasn’t worked.

    I like so many others who have commented was afraid to express my real feelings for fear of staying in that low-energy and negative state.

    I don’t want to be there so I don’t allow myself to go there. So I’ve skipped that step many times and I can definitely feel it.

    I need to really look into a technique to use to allow myself to really express my feelings and move through them instead of hiding them.

    I’ve played around a little with tapping but I’ll read Nick’s book and really get into it cause I need to release these pent up emotions.

  36. I have been trying to deal with years of pent up sadness, rage, and a torrent of emotions as I have consciously decided to heal myself from all the abuses of the past…and present, even.

    I have difficulty with the concept of “letting go.” How do we do that? How do I know I am “letting go,” especially when it comes to the greatest hurts, the deepest torments?

    My biggest challenge at the moment is…love. Love of self, primarily, as that is where it all begins, right?

    I have been involved with a man for two years, all the while he has been cheating on me and lying to me. He has a relationship with another woman across State lines and she and I have known about each other for a year now, yet I see that neither of us have been able to let go. He is a very charming person, yet he is also abusive and a user. I have given him everything I possibly can – all of my love and my heart, money, a place to stay, support, I have helped him look for work – spent countless hours doing so, and even helped him find a job in the field he wanted in the position he wanted and was going for, yet that was not good enough for him because of the location. I was truly and deeply hurt and angered by this, and felt as if I was a failure. (I know, it doesn’t make sense, really. But for the fact that I was so invested in it happening for him, and then he just shot it all down. I am offended by this.) I had put so much time and effort into helping him, and he got the job he wanted, and he ended up turning it down at the last minute. Only to ask me to keep helping him find work! And all the while, still keeping things going with this other chick because she has money and keeps giving it to him. He has nothing. But us. Yet, he is abusive (emotionally, mentally, and yes, even physically – though only with her. Never has he been physically abusive with me.)
    He got me pregnant and still went to go see her. I lost the baby…it has been… awful. He would tell me one day how “we will get married and move away with the baby,” and the next how he “hates kids and doesnt even want those he has.” (He has 3 with two other women. He does not see them often and pretends he doesn’t have children. Yes, that is his character. I am saddened to write it, but I have to look at it all.)

    Yet I know this all comes back to me. It comes back to my beliefs about myself and love, men, relationships. I do not want to be a part of this anymore, yet I have trouble letting go. It seems so silly, but I do not want to judge it. I have loved this man…SO much. I held his mother’s hand as she was dying (when he chose not to be there), am a part of his family, and have done everything I can.
    So how can I see this differently? How can I find the attachment that holds me in still? How can I let this go and trust I will be ok? This is really hard for me to put up for the world to see, but I know the ladies here are wonderfully supportive and may just be able to reflect back to me where this deep attachment lies.

    Gabby, I have your book – May Cause Miracles – and it is so wonderful. I am only in week 3, but it has been helping me.

    I still am confused on the “how to” part of self-love. And how do I know when I am not loving myself. Other than this situation with this man, I actually have a great deal of self-esteem, drive, and am passionate about what I do, am very ambitious and things are wonderful in other aspects of my life. But here, I find myself stuck. And as it is all interconnected, I need to figure out how to let this go and get back in the flow.

    I love that you said, Gabby, how wonderful EFT is. I quite agree, and have been tapping for over a year now. It is quite amazing.

    I feel myself shifting and transitioning, and honestly, I feel like part of this holding on is “old self” wanting to stick around, since new self is coming about in so MANY ways. I feel that the holding on stems – at least in part – from that. So perhaps faith is the problem.

    I know this is long, my sisters, and I am sorry for that. But I am grateful to all of you. And thank you for any insight.

    God bless you all on your journeys.
    Love and light.

      1. Thank you for making it safe to do so. I have been telling myself things honestly about my feelings and thoughts – telling my ING and all – and I am feeling….liberation!
        Thank you for all you do. Hope to see you in NY!
        Much love!

  37. I have to say, I always scroll through the comments to read how others have responded to anything on the internet, and I am truly moved by all of the support, care, and love by fellow Gabby viewers. Everyone in this forum is amazing, and I feel blessed to be a part of a community of strong women who nurture each other, as opposed to tearing each other down. Continue being kind to one another; it teaches me to be kind to myself.

    Sat Nam

  38. Like for many others, this video came at an incredible time. Synchronicity?

    All my life I’ve been jumping from thing to thing because once the initial ‘high’ is over I get overwhelmed by the actual work it takes to accomplish the goals in my life. I’ve finally been given the opportunity to turn my life into exactly what I want it to be and once again, I find myself floundering, making excuses and fading away from that impassioned person that began the journey.

    The last few days I’ve been feeling totally bummed out, low energy, and just somewhat sad and depressed. I definitely skip the step of just allowing myself to feel sad because I feel like if I am, I’ll either stay there or fall back into old behaviors.

    Gabby, thank you for this video. I’ve realized that I need to feel this because it’s part of the healing process. I need to feel like so that I can not move on from what I want to do with my life but move on from the self-limiting believes that have caused me to jump from thing to thing.

    Thank you sincerely for being a shining light and inspiration for so many people.

  39. I’m really glad you posted this Gabby! I too, feel this is very timely. I’ve learned that to live courageously, I have to allow myself the time and space to cycle through grief to truly feel release from it. There’s always a voice that says “I don’t want to feel this” and if you’re spiritual, you have great tools in the tool box to fight the feelings, and bandaid them temporarily. Note: The feelings ALWAYS win. Additionally, I hear a lot of people overspiritualizing to thwart the discomfort of painful current events — to avoid boundary-setting, for example, with someone who has been spiteful, rude or dishonest. Instead of standing up for themselves and being honest about their boundaries (what’s acceptable to say or do to me) they say things like “Karma will handle it” and allow themselves to be trampled.
    -All this to say, thanks for the post – I’m looking forward to more honest discussion about spirituality in a very real world.

  40. Gabby this was a very good topic and it hit home with me and it may be the very piece to set me free of this situation so here it goes. I feel bullied, controlled and judge by so many people in my life and it really hurts and saddens me to feel that I am allowing this again, this is a pattern in my life and it makes me angry and keeps me stuck. I am hurt and angry that there is no one out there supporting me to one of the most difficult times in my life. I forgive them for they don’t know any better and I delete them on this very day. I am free today.

  41. I can so totally relate to this video and thank you so much Gabby. Timing is impeccable, which confirms to me that everything happens for a reason, that there is a God, and that I am right where I am supposed to be. Having said all that, I am so grateful to be reminded that my “i’m fine” comments, or “i’m working on it” comments, or all my constant affirmations is Not good enough. Its like putting the cart before the horse in a way. Yes, Yes Yes – as you mention, I need to feel the feeling first, and acknowledge that and deal with that. I like that you said to just say it out loud. Say what you are feeling. First outloud to see how it feels, and then share with others, and even most important to the person you are feeling the resentment towards. Saying that you feel hurt or uncomfortable. what a brilliant solution. Call a spade a spade. Tell on yourself. Simple but not Easy. But then I can work on praying and forgiveness and acceptance. This has come at such a perfect time in my life. I have been feeling past resentments to loved ones in my family that I cannot seem to let go. I seem to have set the bar so high for my own expectations and perfection that I can barely forgive myself when I don’t meet them, so no wonder other loved ones wind up on my resentment list too. I know I need to begin forgiving myself. I know I need to forgive others and accept them for who they are, but I need to remember to Feel the Feeling. I am rambling. I apologize , but it does feel good to share what you are feeling. Now I just need to practice it directly with those loved ones. and you’re right. I know it all equates to growth. Pain is growth. simple. Not easy. but imperative for inner peace. thank you so much for your video, and I must thank my friend for sharing it, and I will look forward to your other information and check it all out. Again. Timing is everything. I know it sounds like a line ” but I was just discussing this very thing with very dear friends” and wa-la…. here you are. If that isn’t the very spirit sending me a sign, I don’t know what it, but now I just need to “GO DO IT ” . I sincerely thank you ( and all the other posts I have read too) for the motivation you have given me.

  42. Thank you for this video…timely for me. I’m in a really rough spot right now because I allowed myself to bury deep 15 years worth of emotions of betrayal by my fiancé’ and business partner, shame and guilt for putting up with it and thinking I could change him, and now find I can no longer bury the hurt. The feelings are just at the surface and I have a lot of fear around just allowing them to come up… Insert other avoidance stuff now drinking too much wine, working like crazy, distancing myself from my daughter who is now grown and talking about leaving home (can’t really blame her)… Feel like I’m in a vortex of my own making and want to get out.

  43. Hi Gabby
    A friend of mine and I were talking about this exact subject and then your email came through, talk about synchronicity.
    Everyone that has written on here will have experienced a real emotional crisis at some point. I was medicated for 16 years from the age of 20 & was told that these meds would be my life.
    Fortunately I eventually ended in a real mess and knew the only was out was through it. I felt guided towards homeopathy then things start synchronizing.
    Initially the buzz of any self help appears like you’re on cloud 9 & that you should feel that way all the time.
    The truth is whether through earlier life times or childhood, these emotions get stored in our cellular memory and subsequently must be released. The mind cannot release these emotions only the true allowing of them can. Is it a walk in the park? No ofcourse not but it is actual freedom. Do I do it all the time? No but I’m a life form and must accept that all aspects of nature exist. Balance is the key, if we can be content in joy rather than addicted to it we can see there really is no negative or positive, just a flow of energy.
    A tree does not wish for leaves in the autumn it remains still but knows that it is part of it’s growth.
    Thinking our way out of things is like taking diet pills to lose weight (not judging here just an analogy) the weight may come off but has anything been learnt?
    Thank you for reading the thoughts of a brother on the journey.
    Forgive any of the above that may have come from my ego.
    Gabby I now believe the light I see in you or others is the light that is in me. Any darkness is also my darkness and shows me areas for growth.
    God bless Sat Nam Namaste

  44. I am still trying to get over the hurt I felt over the loss of a relationship 1.5 years ago. The relationship ended, though for the next 1.5 years, the man in question indicated he would get together for a face-to-face conversation. He would repeatedly make plans to do this, then cancel, sometimes disrespectfully. When I moved on and dated someone else, he became interested again. Once I showed interest, then he became disinterested again.

    It’s has been hard to mourn the loss of this person– by that, I mean the loss of who I thought he was–not his actual presence. And it’s been even harder to understand why he behaved in such a hurtful way when I was seeking some sort of closure that took my humanity/feelings into account.

    Some days, if I allow myself to think about it, I just feel hurt. And while I can talk myself out this in various ways, that experience hurt my feelings.

    It is that simple.

  45. So I’m being courageous and choosing to share how I feel. I feel confused. Mostly in my romantic relationships. I have been on a couple of dates with this great guy and it seems like we both are attracted to one another. But there is a lack of communication. We can go weeks without talking to each other. I don’t want to seem needy or clingy so I don’t want to initiate conversation via text. I want him to pursue me. I’m just confused as to where this is all going if its even going anywhere!

  46. Gabrielle, you have a way of saying exactly what I need to hear at that moment…thank you for that!!! There are quite a few things that I am looking to change or evolve in my life. I feel unfulfilled in my work. I feel stuck in my personal life. And I also feel as though it is hard for me to show people me without holding back for fear of what others think. All things I am ready and willing to work on, as I have recently made a challenge to myself to daily better every aspect of my life….physically, mentally and most importantly spiritually. Thank you again for all you do!!!

    1. Amanda,

      I know how you feel. I used to view my work as a nutrition coach unfulfilling because of the negative work environment I’m in, and it totally allowed me to let my ego take me down. I started to shift my perception and focus on serving my patients and everything shifted…now I’m putting equal energy into serving people at my job and working on my meditation CD, which has been a dream of mine for the past year. Just take one step forward every day, take action, and have faith. I know you’ve got this!

      You’re willing, sister and that is all you really need to start to make a change. Stating it here on this public platform is a huge step too. I am sending you love, light, strength, and courage. I know you have all of them inside of you. You have my support, sister. Rock on!

      1. Heather,

        Thank you so much for your kind and uplifting words! I truly appreciate everything you said and that you took the time out to send some love my way.

        Congrats on working towards fulfilling your dream of a mediation CD, I look forward to listening to it’s complete. Meditation has become such a big part of my life recently. It was made me open my eyes to aspects of my life that I was formally blind to. With my new vision, I am able open myself up and work on these areas that have been hidden in the dark for so long. Through meditation weights have been lifted and I can finally look forward to what my future holds!

        Thank you again…and I’m sending love, light, strength and courage right back at ya sister! You’re a doll and I truly appreciate you!!

  47. Thank you for posting this Gabrielle! I am on day 18 and I have found myself doing this. Yes, very important as well to express how you are feeling and then release and let go!

  48. Well how I feel is angry. Angry at my neighbor for her malicious behavior. She has gossiped about my husband and I and the fact that we are in recovery to others. When I asked her who she told, so we could protect ourselves should it come up later, she wouldn’t tell me. The reason she knows we are in recovery is because we, my husband especially, tried to help her with her son who was addicted and sadly died of an overdose last year.

    In a difficult moment in my relationship with my husband she told me she was talking to neighbors about us being in reocvery and they saw my husband outside a laudromat talking to ‘black people and hunched over a car’… this is the kind of ignorant things that can come up when people don’t understand that just because someone used to use drugs doesn’t mean they do any more. Between my husband and I we have almost 25 years clean.

    So this has been difficult. I try to have compassion for her. I have stopped speaking to her but she seems really childish and asks my husband to help her with things when her husband is not around. The last time was this weekend, we were outside our home, basically talking and embraced and she came over to ask him to help with someone on her deck and didn’t even say hello to me. I say hi and I got an over the shoulder ‘oh hi’ and it was really the last straw in this nonsense. I am sorry her son died but if you chose to gossip about people, keep your distance and get a life! I sent her a text later saying as much as she was no longer out side when I decided to speak to her. I was very classy about it all and got back “ok I get your point”… I honestly would like to just smack her in the face.

    So I’m angry. I felt better not just eating it… I know my husband likes to get along with everyone and even though she has gossiped they live right next door and if he’s asked for help he’ll give it. But I’m just amazed at people and how malicious they can be. I have been reminded this woman is compromised and limited but we have truly done nothing but tried to be helpful to her. She has been so intrusive, even coming into our house once with her dog, uninvited, when she knows our cat will attack her pet given the chance, just to look around I believe. Or we think she may have been high or drunk…

    I don’t want tension. I know my hubby feels uncomfortable but also sees she has been more and more childish as time has gone on and in my text I mentioned her gossiping – of course no apology. Now all I want is to be free of this anger. This regret I just didn’t really tell her how I feel instead of always taking the high road. I don’t get why people think they can chit on someone and it’s ok…. how I let that go, I’m not sure but grateful to type it out here… cause what would be worse than this whole mess? Me allowing it to rob me of any more joyful moments in my own life 🙂

    1. Wow.. what courage for you both to be in recovery.. As your kind husband tried to help your neighbor,, maybe he started a path for you both to go down and tell your story to other people. I am sorry your neighbor has hurt your feelings, but what ya’ll are accomplishing together is amazing and what a great example to others.

  49. The issue that I am currently working on is feeling those emotions but remembering to press “forgive and delete”. Too often I feel my emotions and they just send me into a downward spiral that I cannot get out of. For example, yesterday I felt so down about myself all day. As everyone was out celebrating Memorial Day with bbq’s, sunshine, and the beach. I spent it alone cleaning my entire apartment (a habit that I have formed for when I feel down, somehow it is therapeutic, but yesterday it did not work) I promised myself that today would be a new day, but I am still feeling in the slumps, attempting to forgive myself for feeling this way. Instead of cutting myself off from love like I did yesterday, I am reaching out for it. And that is why I am posting here right now.

    1. It takes courage to put oneself out there, as you and these wonderful people here have done today. I commend you for reaching out when you previously withdrew. I know how hard it can be and certainly struggle there myself.
      Forgive and delete. Yes. I forget the delete part and just try to keep forgoving – often to try to bypass.the hurt that’s there to begon with. Thank you for the reminder of that.
      I wanted to send you much love and light as you let yourself feel what you need to – honoring those feelings – and let them pass. You are deeply loved, my sister, just for being you. 🙂 i hope you and everyone here can feel the love we are all sharing. I
      nnow i do.

    2. It takes courage to put oneself out there, as you and these wonderful people have done here today. I commend you for reaching out when you previously withdrew. I know how hard it can be and certainly struggle there myself.
      Forgive and delete. Yes. I forget the delete part and just try to keep forgoving – often to try to bypass.the hurt that’s there to begin with. Thank you for the reminder of that.
      I wanted to send you much love as you let yourself feel what you need to – honoring those feelings – and let them pass. You are deeply loved, my sister, just for being you. 🙂 i hope you and everyone here can feel the love we are all sharing. I
      know i do.

      love and light on your journey! 🙂

  50. Hi Gabby, thank you I have gone through May cause miricale twice. I have moved through a lot of fear and to get honest with my husband. For some reason I am really upset about an family uncle ( the uncle looked after my husbands parents in India)of his!! Although the uncle has not done anything to me but for me not able to talk to my husband about it about. (You should also know we have been married for 30 years but both of us find it difficult to talk to each other). Perfect timing for your videos as always!! As only this morning I needed to ask my husband about the uncle coming to our place for a special occasion (I had told my husband I don’t think should invite him) therefore my husband is not telling me about what his uncle said to him on the phone on the arrangement.
    I forgive my husband and also thought that it his encounter of his life path. Gabby many thanks for me getting honest to you and I am tapping and doing your Kundahli meditation. Such a great pleasure to get honest and able to see a bright light when I say” what can I do for you! “Gabby many thanks Sat Nam sister x x x????

  51. I’m really angry for moving in with my boyfriend last year and now want out. He’s very caring, kind, and has been a blessing to me. He also has been kind to my children. So afraid I wont find that again. I’m staying with him because im afraid. So feeling a lot of guilt and anger at myself for wanting to be on my own. Never said that before. Thank you for the feelings video because I wasn’t allowing myself to go there.

  52. My heart has been broken by someone I trusted and the pain of it still hurts me over a year later. I don’t know why I love this person so much, but I’m still hanging on to these feelings. I haven’t even tried affirmations or anything like that, I’m just sitting in this feeling of pain.

    1. I know just.what you.mean. It can be so challenging when we love someone so much and they betray and hurt us. I completely sympathize.
      I send much love and light your way, sister. 🙂

  53. I LOVED this…thank you for the great reminder of how important it is to allow yourself to feel. It is such an important step in working out whatever needs to be worked out. Also it’s really important to not feel guilty that you have feelings about something (especially negative feelings), it’s all part of the process. I think I need to thank my husband for being my sounding board and allowing me to express my feelings….it has really helped me heal. Thank you again Gabby!!! <3

    1. Thank you for encouraging comments… Of course: the message from you is very pertinent for me at this exact moment.
      I’ve been beating myself up wishing I could just get over it all and move on with my life …and there is so much to get over. I have been feeling more hurt and more pain from my children’s presence (brushing me off) and choices (to go to dad’s, be at dad’s, be with them instead of me). My ex- what was his real motive and why was he so calculated? Can he just be authentic and get his own life and stop living out all of my innate dreams with his new wife? I know my kids love me but why must they be so disrespectful towards me- is it because Ive disrespected myself and it shows in my habits and sheer size of late?
      I also realized expressing my hurt unfolded a great, great amount of victim- perspective. I want to work on that, but I’m adraid to say anything out loud- what if it takes a really long time to work through it and I feel like i can’t do it and that brings me down even further? Or that anyone I may confide in may not be able to see any qualities in me other than victim?
      Duh, why am i worried that others will judge me for it- this is my path!!
      Thank you for the outlet. I’ve learned a thousand new things while writing it!

  54. What a timely video.. i just broke up with my boyfriend over 2weeks ago.. how do i feel.. I feel relieved and a brick has been lifted off my chest yet, i miss him. I am hurt by him not including me and always feeling on the back burner to his job and children… I dont’ feel like a partner. I want a partner, someone who wants to stay beside me and I stand by his side. I am terrified I will never find the relationship I want.. I just turned 50. I’m lonely, yet I’ve been lonely at times in this relationship as well. Part of me knows I need to let go.. and part of me clings to hope this guy will change. I need to let go and just be, but it;s hard to be and not be anxious.. thanks for the opportunity to say how I feel.. you rock Gabrielle

    1. I guess now is not the time to say that you need to feel complete on your own before finding a relationship to share the ‘completeness’ right? I hate hearing stuff like that, but it’s true.

  55. I am afraid of the future. I am afraid of making bad choices in my life. I am afraid of failing, again. I am afraid of “I told you so” and “what was I thinking?” I am afraid of making money. I am afraid of screwing up.

  56. Hello Gabby, I am very thankfull with you because today I am feeling a little low, I think I know the reason why but I really didn´t want to accept it. Now I know that even in the path of spirituallity it´s ok to feel akward feelins. I feel sad and a little uncomfortable. I know this will move on away from me and I will find my balance again now that I am being completely honest with myself. Thanks Gabby.

  57. I’m really enjoying reading all the heart centered comments here. I’d like to share that I have immense shame around the fact that I, at 50 years old, have only had one (so called) relationship with a man. He was not ‘into me’ and as he didn’t even want to be fully intimate with me, I’ve held on to the trauma of that experience ever since (my middle 20s). I have had a long held believe that Men didn’t/don’t find me attractive. I am sure this goes back to my childhood and as I have also kept myself small haven’t really allowed myself to ‘SHINE’ in life. I am becoming more self aware and am now reading Gabby’s book, “May Cause Miracles”. We are all a Miracles in Progress.

  58. Gabby, or all spirit junkies with an insightful answer- how do we decipher when we are pushing our unpleasant, ego-driven emotions awa, that we in fact need to feel through, or are just trying to politely remind the ego that its false illusions are not welcome into our thoughts? I’m having trouble recognizing the difference of changing my fear based thoughts back to love or knowing when I need to just feel the negative emotion. Is there a happy medium to both? I’m finding myself lost when to feel and when to shift my perception. Thank you for all and any advice out there.

  59. Thank you so much Gabby for this Vlog! This was exactly what I needed to hear today as I have over the past few days had a realization of how rarely I express my feelings. In an attempt to get rid of the uncomfortableness or out of fear of what others may think, I repress how I”m really feeling a majority of the time. I totally connect with what you mean about needing to not only change the thoughts but to also allow yourself the space to feel your feelings…you can’t just bypass it!

    Today, I choose to express how I feel freely without judgement. I am tired and overwhelmed and feeling a small level of loneliness and sadness. Its hard to sit with these feelings but I know they will pass and that they are telling me that I need space and support right now in my life. I recognize now what my feelings are telling me. Thank you so much Gabby! Sending light and love!

  60. I feel so desprate the past 7 months i have lost my own business, lawsuits (so tired) so i left my masters degree in therapy im trying to make it work a new business i have only money to Pay 2 more months for my apt, no moré savings, it seems a Huge risk to invest everything i have. Im so scared. I dont even know if its gonna work. Soooo scared and anxious and scaredddddd….

  61. I have been “stuck” in compulsive/repetitive thought pattern of being fearful of my job/incapable — the flight or flight response is on throughout my days. I want to run away and quit. It’s the FEAR of my thoughts and feelings that is causing anxiety. I want so badly to get out of my head. My biggest fear is that if I feel it completely, I’ll sink deeper into my depression and won be able to climb out.

  62. Yet another blog that rocks. GABBY this one was am a zing for today on day 14 of May cause miracles. I hid behind affirmations do a while. Between my belief it God ..The daily love..her future..GABBY,s books. . Wayne Dyer CD I am living my reality and feeling it all.

  63. This message came at the perfect moment! Thank you wise and wonderful Gabby!!

    I just spent the last month in an uncomfortable situation of my own creation. For the entire month, I attempted to surrender to this place. To accept, forgive and affirm while I was really suffering. It did not work!! I was miserable! When I acknowledged my misery and decided to change my situation…..that was when peace came. The relief instantly washed over me. Amazing!! =0) Another lesson learned. So grateful!


  64. Its very true that incredible growth happes when you are honest about your feelings and what you are needing. Unfortunately sometimes its painful ( I lost a friend this week when I shared my need for more clarity in our communication) she ended up being reactive and completely withdrew and so I guess sometimes being more true to yourself requires a kind of upleveing. Sadly she couldnt meet me on this level so I let it go…

  65. What a wonderful video! Perfect you posted this now. Just last week I had a mini meltdown, exclaiming how frustrated and mad I was about a bunch of health issues, how dis heartened I felt and how it seemed there was no point even trying. All the while thinking, ‘mmm, this doesnt sound very spiritual!’ But interestingly, as soon as I acknowledged those feeling inside me, and got them out, within 2 days I was light again, free, and patient with my situation. I was worried if I felt those things I would swim around in a dark pool of negativity. But, I guess the truth really does set you free! And it doesnt have to be so scary to feel things. In fact, its liberating. SO thanks again, great words of wisdom xx

  66. This video is so what I needed to hear, and exactly what I’ve been doing for 10 years now. I’ve read every self help book, saw you Gabby at Kripalu last year and always think this is my time to move forward and truly forgive, only it never happens. I pray every day but the anger the sadness comes back to haunt me. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong? When my mother was ill and dying I meditated for an hour a day, worked out, lived such a healthy life style. Then she died and my life has been one obstacle after another ever since. I don’t know how to turn this around? But I watch you and see that you have done it and it gives me hope. I’m barley living but hoping your inspiration will help me along my way. Anything you put your mind to is possible. I hope my time comes sooner than later and that gives me hope.

  67. I really needed this today because I have been so stressed out lately that I don’t know what to do with myself. I just realized how untrue to my feelings I have been and I am slightly shocked at the extent of my “overspiritualizing”. This has really opened up my eyes! So, thank you!

  68. i feel so uncomfortable that i dont have a boyfriend. i am really not ok with this lol but sometimes i am. just feel a little lonely…i think im going to go phone a friend 😛

  69. Thanks so much Gabby for this video. It is very timely. I know people who tend to do this and I myself, although not doing affirmations, try to make light of my own feelings and sweep them under the carpet until they fester. I know that is not good. Since seeing this video I will try to speak my truth to myself and others more timely.

  70. Hi Gabby,
    This was so what I needed to hear today! I found out a while back that I have uterine fibroids (that are quite large) and ovarian cysts(have only mentioned this to a few close people in my life). I feel that there is an emotional component to them that I need to release. Listening and watching this today made me realize that I don’t really share my feelings well. I can cry easily, but tend to hold back to be strong around friends and family. When I think about it I am a pretty closed person. When you said to speak your truth and say how you feel it really resonated with me. My truth is that I am scared right now; scared of the idea of potential surgery (would rather heal on my own), scared of opening myself up to others… The more I think about it, the more I realize that my family doesn’t really talk to each other–I think we think we do, but it’s really quite superficial and we tend to keep a lot inside…

    I just received your May Cause Miracles book and am excited about starting the process of going through it. Looking forward to the changes to come in my life and the healing to occur. Thank you so much for putting such great content out there for us to chew on and to embrace!

  71. So often, affirmations end up being Band-Aids rather than an expression of true mind shift AFTER emotional healing has occurred.

    Important message in this video, thank you.

  72. Blessings Gabby!!thank you for the light you share with everyone!I’m back in AA because of the seed’s you planted(&my seat was saved)…what a gift to get to truly experience my sweet teenage young men,yoga practice,prayer,pain,joy & love!! Got to experience EFT last summer on vacation & in the depths of my disease it brought clarity & it clearly works better being sober ????<3 peace!!

  73. Gabby you are an amazing light, thank you for shining so brightly. This post helped me validate what I am feeling. Immense pain and anger. I just lost 3 family members and went to the memorial Saturday. It was a tragic loss that brought up old pains for me. Currently I am doing Life coaching training and hypnotherapy training. I feel like people expect me to stay positive now, but I am really hurting. I am moving through my pain and healing but doing it realisticly. I cry when I am sad, I yell when I am hurt, but I am tapping and releasing. Anyway. ?.thank you ?

  74. This may be too obvious to ask, but how do I “feel my feelings?” Is it being willing to walk around mad or depressed instead of trying to cheer up? Is it sitting still and crying instead of hanging out with friends? Is it admitting that I have no idea what to do instead of convincing myself that a higher power is on charge?


  75. Dear Gabby, How do I handle fair weather friends or friends that use me as a catalyst for all their problems? Then they seem to move on from our relationship when I have been there completely, as a good listener, advocate and a loyal friend.This happens allot!!! I’m hurt, hurt hurt, sad sad sadder 🙁 They are not there for me.
    A reason? A season? a Lifetime?

  76. Wow. This vlog really moved me, thank you Gabby! I am also just getting out of relationship, been bouncing my way on the trampoline, affirming inner balance, surrendering, forgiving my boyfriend for not being able to propose or love me enough to do it. And now here we are, stating the honest truth of how much it hurts and how much I’m hurting and aching and how its ok and necessary to be with these feelings and the pain. It’s actually freeing to say, wow this hurts a lot. Fascinating that in the feelings are the release of the pain…so cool how that works.

  77. I loved your work before – but with this Vlog, I trust your work even more! Best Vlog ever, thanks for that.

  78. I have to get honest and say this (or type it) out loud. I have been married for a little over a year and I do not know if my partner and I want the same things. I want a child but she only wants one if the finances/circumstances are right. she is very practical and i love that about her, but i don’t think there is ever a “perfect” time to have a kid. I have a very demanding job that requires me to travel more often than I am home. this is taking a toll on our relationship, but career wise it’s my dream job, the one i have been working towards for many years. I am having a very difficult time balancing the two aspects of my life. I am so scared that I am choosing my job over family. I am scared that if I continue to travel the way I do it will build a wall between my partner and I, and that is no situation to bring a child into. bottom line is I am scared. I am feeling very stuck right now and don’t see how things will shift. I am blaming myself for not being able to find a solution. I am trying to turn it over to my higher power but for some reason with this one my ego is holding on for dear life! thanks for listening. xo

  79. I find my boyfriend doesn’t support me in feeling through my negative emotions and feelings. He seems to want to instantly correct or ‘spiritualise’ them, to get me to cut to the chase. I feel like this messes with my sense of personal empowerment. I feel that I have learnt to feel my feelings… but people close to me can be the ones to not want to accept my feelings. This makes the feelings I am having feel repressed and makes me get stuck. Maybe I should not speak my truth to these people who are obviously not comfortable with feelings.

  80. Perfect timing… i was questioning my self as to whether or not i should have held back on what i felt and expressed at that moment. only concerned about being judged or coming off as invested, but really when something involves me i am 100% invested so fuck it… as long as i feel and stay true, i’m growing; that’s rich.

  81. I have been struggling with the relationship I have with my best friend lately. I avoid telling her when I am hurt by her words, or how anything makes me feel for that matter because I know I will be met with defiance. She belittles my feelings and makes me want to return to my ways of keeping them to myself. Maybe I had been over-spiritualizing in the past, because I knew expressing my feelings towards her would not improve, but rather hinder our relationship. So I told myself things like “She’s an only child” when I felt her being selfish, or “She doesn’t know any better” when her comments made me feel small in attempts to just forgive and release her. I guess I couldn’t just pretend it was all OK, and just yesterday (great timing for the vid) I tried again to express my feelings towards her, which she basically turned on me and met with many “OMG’s”. Like it’s not Ok for me to care or feel. So at this point I have told her we need not be in eachother’s lives because I don’t know what else to do. She won’t hear how I feel, so how can we move forward. I feel like I always try to listen with an open heart when people are willing to express feelings to me.

    I know over-spiritualizing is not the answer, but when others won’t hear your feelings, it seems like telling yourself it’s OK I forgive, I release is much easier, and in this case would have avoided any conflict.

    I’d love to hear what you guys think.

  82. This video hit home with me too. One of my biggest obstacles in forgiving my ex-husband finally did happen months ago and it felt awesome! I do however have other to forgive and I’m working on that everyday. I feel like I can’t get anywhere with my spirituality with baggage. Unknowingly, I worked the Law of Attraction and was successful in most areas of my life and since 2009 I’ve gone the other direction and now I’m trying to get it back. I know in the past that just talking to someone always did help and made me accountable. I’m still feeling frustrated, lonely and hurt. Gabby I have your book I bought it when it was released but still haven’t found the time to read it. Ugh! Thank you for all you do serving others!

  83. I never realized how much fear has been part of my life…especially the last couple years and have not been able to move through it. I started Course in Miraicles today and am so ready to move through my feelings and get to where I truly deserve to be..Thank you Gabby for all you do.

  84. I feel a lot of fear and anxiety around the upcoming homebirth of my second child. I fear that the peaceful, spiritual experience I so desperately want will not manifest if I don’t do x,y and z perfectly and daily to prepare. I throw affirmations and prayer at my growing stress, but it really does feel like a cover-up job while the root issue has been aloud to grow and flourish. It’s time to really sit with my true fears around birth and deal with them. I cannot thank you enough for this lesson Gabby! Love you all!

  85. I have been feeling this sadness inside of me since I got sober almost 5 months ago. I haven’t had the drive to do any self care and I keep getting deeper and deeper into this state of depression. I turned to food as my new coping mechanism, and now have developed bulimia over the course that I’ve remained sober. I know that prayer and meditation and reaching out are all things that will help me release the sadness, and working my 12 step program, but it hasn’t been possible to fully get into my step work, because of my job and a list of other excuses I’ve been giving myself. I have tried tapping, and yoga.. But again my willingness to keep a regular routine with anything is so minuscule. I have been to a doctor, and I do stay connected with some people, but I just am sick of waiting for that light to turn on. I feel like I can’t be fully at service to anyone when I’m in this head space.. & I feel like I am just wasting time that could be spent working my spiritual program.. And that is the biggest guilt that I am carrying around with me today.

    1. Hello Girlfriend, I have been there! I too am in recovery and if at all possible try a secretary position at the local fellowship. It makes you accountable one hour a week to yourself, others and gives you value in recovery. You will be amazed at how this simple participation will skyrocket you into another dimension of self-respect!The spiritual connection will come in the familiar faces of getting well, together. Sisters is sobriety:)

  86. I really needed to see this video today. I was invited to go to Bali with Mastin Kipp and the Daily Love for the writing mastery group with my daughter. We are going together to write a book. And while this is an amazing experience in the making, I had a really hard day yesterday with the fears that come up around money to the point of getting angry. It is more that I know that I know we are supposed to be going, and yet we both are experiencing some extra special circumstances that need additional money at this time. So I felt my feelings yesterday… and today I woke up saying it was time to turn my day around and release those now. I have to be real, I can’t throw an affirmation at something and the anger leaves… I have to feel it. As someone who spent years burying feelings, I am so grateful that you talk about feeling them and then letting go or releasing. Today my affirmations help and are honest and authentic to me. Yesterday I kept repeating that I am willing to witness my fear, today I choose love. Thanks Gabby… xoxo

  87. I am scared, 3 words that I try to keep hidden away from family and friends, that I try to cover up with overspiritualizing, today your video made me look inside and ask why, as a nearly 50 year old with grown children I realize this fear is based on my inability to control, know one ever told me that the hardest thing about being a parent is having grown children. With your video playing in the back ground I called my sons and talked about my fears for them and reinforced my love and pride for the young men they have become, of course they said this was not news to them, they could at times see that I was scared which put fear into them. The last thing I wont is for my children to have a fear of life so together we will begin to walk a different path, a path where we are all adults,each responsible for our thoughts actions. Thank You, Gabbyfor a brighter day.

  88. Thank you Gabby! I am finding myself getting anxious about taking my Kundalini teacher training starting next month. It is close to 4hrs away from my home which is leaving my comfort zone to do this. I admit as much as I know this practice I’ve been doing for close to 2yrs now is my calling, the closer the course gets the more anxious I become. So I am using Kundalini techniques and my blog to work through it. Each post for my blog is forcing me to push through my comfort zone because I am talking from my heart and releasing it to the world. I’m learning more and more that the more honest I get the more the world reveals itself to me. My relationships have deepened both with friends and family and with myself. Thank you for your teachings and support.
    As always with love,

  89. This video really resonated with me as I have been trying to repeat Louise Hay’s affirmations about money. I have spent the last year struggling to make ends meet. The advertising agency I worked for downsized and I have been unable to find any job of value and substance since. I sold my car, I have received numerous eviction notices and my friends don’t get how I can remain so positive. I have held tight to my faith and read the course in miracles.. but I truly feel like the financial struggle is chipping away at my heart. I want to be able to lend and not borrow. When and where is the end to this?

  90. That was a very useful and insightful video.
    Thank you Gabby. I, too, used to overspiritualize. The result of that was feeling lost and disconnected from my spirit and my true feelings. I think it’s okay to feel angry, sad, pissed off, disappointed. And perhaps the way to not stay there is to acknowledge those feelings. Especially sadness. When I want to move through something uncomfortable, I place my hand over my heart and ask it to speak to me. This exercise is helpful for connecting to what I’m really feeling.

  91. Beautiful! Thank you Gabrielle!
    This video and the last have been so timely 😉 You cover exactly what I’m working through right when I need it – which confirms to me how connected we all are and how we’re all together making these shifts!
    I often put on a positive and upbeat face for others and have found it hard to be raw and authentic with my feelings except with select friends. I’m coming to understand how this is not serving anyone and I’m opening up to more honesty. Truth is I often feel overwhelmed and resentful. I’m realizing it’s a relief to say it out loud!
    It’s a blessing to be supported by the tribe here on this journey.

  92. Hi Gabby – going to the depths and darkness is a scary and vulnerable place for many of us. It sometimes feels like we are re-living the pains and hurts by opening up ourselves to our past hurts.

    Unfortunately, we can’t really move on until we go through that part of our life, as you point out. And accept, embrace and acknowledge where we are. We do have to go through those feelings as much as we don’ want to. And probably a little (ok MUCH more difficult for men 🙂 who probably don’t want to go there and definitely don’t want to talk about it.

    I think what moved me into action was realizing I had a choice. I could be stuck and held back by my past and pains or I could chose to confront them and deal with them. I’m doing more of the latter now and naturally, it’s been a life-changer.

    Thank you for your perspective on this and encouragement.

  93. Feeling your feelings is so important, you are right on Gabby. I started going to therapy about 9 months ago and it wasn’t until about 2 months ago that I started getting really real, the good the bad and the ugly about what was coming up for me. I realized in order to really heal i couldn’t go half way, I needed to say things out loud that I had never told anyone before. I helped me so much and I feel like I’ve progressed so much now. So talk about your feelings ladies, even if its with a therapist or a journal. Both have helped me a lot!

  94. I suffer from anxiety and although I have been to counseling for it (over many years), I sometimes feel myself just avoiding it and thinking it will just go away. It does not and it gets worse (at that moment). I find that if I just let myself feel it – let it happen – it goes away much quicker, or it disappears in that instant.
    The video above set me on the path again to reminding myself not to deny my feelings. Thank you.

  95. Thank you for this post. I’m going through a custody battle over my 10 week old daughter. The father wants her to live with him 50% of the week. He wanted nothing to do with us and now he does. I need to remove my ego and know and feel that this is the right thing for my daughter to have her father want to be in her life. It’s pure selfishness to want to keep her to myself, I need to let go. I need to feel the fear and move on. I need a miracle.

  96. Hey Gabby, thanks for sharing this topic. I feel tired and anxious. I’m moving to a big city soon to go to school (to study what I love – holistic nutrition) and I’m afraid I won’t be supported by God financially and I’ll have to drop out and do work I don’t love.

    …wow, I honestly do feel better after writing that. Somehow I feel MORE supported now. Amazing.

  97. Very timely message for me. I’ve spent the past two years trying to heal a broken heart going deep into “spirituality” as a way to control the situation and quickly move past the pain. Guess what? It didn’t work. I was intellectually processing the teachings from you, Marianne Williamson, ACIM, Wayne Dyer and everyone else I could get my hands on but it wasn’t sinking in. Then last week, after recommitting to my practice and deciding to sit in my shit so to speak it happened. I was finally able to truly wrap by break up and my job loss with love and really see the blessing in being where I am now instead of just saying it. I’m not “enlightened” or anything, I just now know that the only way to do the work and feel the change is to really do the work and not be afraid of the mess because at the end of the day we’re all a little bit of a mess and that’s fine. You just have to own your mess. Thank you! Namaste love.

    1. Congrats on having the courage to “sit in your shit.” I envy your courage. Can you give some tips on how you were able to do it?

      Thanks, Anastasia!

  98. I’v always had difficulty feeling my feelings, let alone expressing them. Your video struck a chord – it’s so easy to over spiritualise and say you’ve forgiven, or not express your anger, dismay, hurt because you’re afraid the other person will leave you. Honestly – I’m still afraid to say it. I want to, but I can’t.

  99. Thanks Gabby. Love your fresh perspective on this.

    Lately I’ve been feeling that someone I really care about is doing just this – overspiritualizing as a means of skimming over some deeper rooted topics. I’m feeling frustrated by how this affects our communication, since I’ve delved so deeply myself to gain so much awareness. Whilst I’m not asking my friend to delve if she really doesn’t want to, I feel resistance on her side to have more heartfelt conversations about our friendship and dynamic (especially knowing how much we gain from moving through some of the ‘darker’ or denser energies to clear them). At times I feel as though I’m being brushed off, and it’s a bit challenging to shake that off especially when there’s no active outreach coming from the other person.

  100. Now able to view. Great reminder Gabby to not deny our feelings or mask them but to let them into the light and breathe them through and move on. Gets the blocked energy to move…..ahhhhh.

  101. Amazing video! I found non violent communication really helped me express my feelings responsibly, I love it! Go gabby!

  102. I haven’t been able to tell anyone that I feel trapped in a relationship with someone who loves me but am in love with someone else. I can’t allow myself to feel the pain of causing pain and discomfort to my partner and our friends and family. I’ve been pasting happy affirmations all over my true feelings.

    I’m sad that I can’t be courageous.

    Thank you for listening . . .

  103. Everything comes in the right time. I have been dealing resistance to work, because I don’t have full time job. I am sad and sadness comes from lack of creativity. But the problem is I don’t know how to be creative, how to live life fully…I just canot see the path. So I am allowing myself to be in this place to not knowing, to not be creative and confront with being boring. Thank you for your guidance Gabby! With love, Andreja Urska

  104. how do you put over 30yrs in a comment box?I have been married 26 yrs,raised 3 children,30 years old,23 and 19.My 19 yr old daughter is @ uc berkeley,bright,loving,spiritual and beautiful.I stayed in a financially,emotionally,and verbally abusive relationship for her.(husband diagnosed with chronic depression,narcissism,possible BPD,anger control issues) I created a positive loving stable environement at the cost of my own needs.yes this is true.I was raised in a loving nurturing 3 brothers and sister and aging parents remind me I am not in a sex for over 10 yrs,no financial stability,no investments or savings,renting a home for 20 yrs to the tune of over $768,00,$3,200 a month.this is not normal,I cannot afford attorney fees for a divorce.( iam forced at times to recycle for cash,funny good for environement anyway!)I am holding on to my sanity with prayer meditation and yoga practice 2x daily.I am being approached by all yoga studio teachers to teach.I started yoga @55yrs old,will be 58 soon.My point,?this all began by events from 1982.the man,love,of my life that influenced the chain of events that I now cope with has reentered my life in 2010.the pain was never solved,and has resurfaced with him.we are in contact agin per his finding me.i live on west coast,he lives on eastcoast.this is so long.I cannot give it is a lifelong novel.Bottom line,neither of us can accept we cannot be together,due to his work and family responsibilties and mine as well.we are stuck in unrequited love.It is killing my heart.the truth we will always love each other.It goes beyond time.we believe we are soulmates and have shared multiple lives together.We are both living in sorrow.I am a stable well eduataed well traveled loving mother.He is a stable well known dr and provides for 2 families after 2 divorces.We made a huge mistake in the summer of has never been healed.Talk about truth?I have lived a lifetime of pretending to be I said this is not enough room to explain!yes,I need a miracle.HOW TO RELEASE PAIN?this is open heart surgery and requires a skilled cardiologist.sisters out here,all I can say is if you have clarity and know what you want, go for it.dont let it go. namaste

  105. I’ve had a very challenging month where I experienced heartbreak, challenging visit from my father who was constantly attacking and criticizing me, and who later after inflicting all this pain onto me informed me he had cancer. I felt hurt, angry, inadequate, lonely, very conflicted about my father, and just enveloped in toxicity. This toxicity spread over over areas of my life, and at work I was angry at everybody and started snapping at people at the office.

    As a result, I started freaking out over feeling negative and attracting even more negativity in my life. I saw forgiving and releasing as the only cure, and frantically started to throw positivity at the painful emotions I have been feeling. I felt I relapsed, and that relapse took me years back into a black hole of pain.

    This video could not be more timely. I need to acknowledge I have experienced lot’s of pain over the last few weeks, as well as some of the past pain which resurfaced just now. Thank you for reminding me that feeling “negative emotions” is ok and trying to cover them up with positivity is not the way to grow and heal. I am reminded now that I have to be patient with myself, process my emotions, feel the feeling and then bring back my spiritual tools. Once again thank you for the great reminder. You are an angel!

  106. Gabby, *THIS* nugget/gem of truth really is the key to evolving into what we truly are….

    Knowing is one thing….*being* and actively *feeling* is how we make it now.

    That is an ongoing journey that spirals and loops back…. and the loops back are not “losing ground” nor “back-sliding”. We come back to “familiar ground” yet we are evolved, so we usually engage and respond differently than before…. Spiritual knowledge/practice is not a replacement nor fast track for the messy, joyful, painful human journey. Through is really the only way……

    This vlog is simple and true…. and key to full living. Thank you for sharing with honesty, clarity, and with such loving support….

  107. I like to talk to my angels sometimes about what is a good decision for me. Often, I seem to be protective and feel I am more likely to stick to some principal that has made me feel successful in the past. On my calendar, I found a quote that sums up what I feel I need to do, “Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in”, Napoleon Bonaparte. Maybe also- When feeling uncomfortable, take time to communicate honestly and openly. Your feelings are as valid as anyone else’s and if an opportunity isn’t optimal now, release it. A future opportunity will align at a more appropriate time.” I was upset about declining an invite this week to a major event due to a rigorous work schedule, and I was afraid to make this decision for fear of being unpopular, but, as you said, it helped to call my friend and tell the truth of how I feel.

  108. Hi Gabriel,

    Thank you, all of what you said just resonated with me. So True. Our feelings cant be ignored and its really until we are in our truth that we feel at ease.
    Thank you Thank you Thank you, for making it so understandable now.

    Kindest Regards to you,

    Norma x

  109. Gabby, you’re beautiful and that beauty shines into the world.

    Your message today lines up 100% with my May Cause Miracles process this week. (My second time through and love it).

    Right now I’m afraid of money and mad at my relationship with it. I’m comfortable in life but more will be nice, especially to support a big change coming in my life soon. And I’m afraid that I’m not good enough to grow my biz. I procrastinate doing what I’m inspired to because that fear cuts me off.

    Just sharing that made me feel better. Thanks for your powerful messages.

    Thanks again for sharing your light!

    1. Jayna, Gabby’s post on giving up coffee helped me SO MUCH provide perspective on my relationship with food. I strongly recommend tag teaming these two posts.

  110. I feel really insecure in my relationships. I am always worried that if I am not 100 percent on and perfect to each and every person in my life that they will walk away and change their mind about me.

  111. You are absolutely right Gabby. I went through a great deal of pain in my life when I lost my home to a fire. I was simply numb at first, but once I put my pain out there and really FELT it and told people about it, I found that I ultimately healed. I can talk about the experience now and see it as a transformational experience in my life. In fact, we rented a house from a woman who is a life coach and who studied under Louise Hay. She called it the “healing house” and it was filled with books by Louise and Marianne and there were symbols from religions all over the word throughout the house. Being in that house led me to you Gabby and my life is forever changed by that.

    I occasionally still grieve from the fire, but I learned so much about healing from trauma that now I offer myself to listen whenever someone around me has suffered a loss. I am grateful for that gift from God and I am grateful for you too Gabby. Thank you for a wonderful message this morning. It was good to be reminded of it.

    Love you…Roni

  112. I had this come up for me. Over the last few months and even last year Someone has sent me anonymous texts saying things like “you never know do you” + they would make fun of what u I posted on twitter or Facebook. If I said I was happy they would send “happiness bittersweet blind” after the last one which was “you perceive yourself as something your not and are lying to yourself” well I had a breakdown over it. After so many I started question my marriage my friends is it someone I know who is making fun of me? Do they know something I don’t? Ive bee so traumatized over this and have been doubting everything. Am I being real with myself, are my wants and dreams valid? What am I doing? I can’t live in fear of what some person is texting are they jealous, do they know me, why are they trying to screw with my head? It’s so hurtful. I am genuinely a positive person and for many months I just ignored it. What gives someone the right? I’m getting over the hurt and I’m really trying not to let it affect my spirit. I am me and I can only be me and do the best I can for my family and not let the noise of some anonymous person get to me. But it did hurt my feelings and you know what today I pray for whoever it is and let it go. I have dreams I have a passion a loving husband and beautiful daughter and a wonderful and supportive family and this is what matters to me. Thank you Gabrielle for all your work.

  113. Thank you so much for sharing this, Gabby! It came at the right time for me. I’ve been feeling off and sad over a relationship in my life that’s been showing up with the same person in different forms for over 3 years now and three months ago when we had our last separation, I thought I was done grieving it but I keep thinking about him lately as his birthday is near and I started putting myself back in the dating scene. Tears have been flowing this morning so I’ve chosen to allow myself to feel the pain and not numb it as I continue to pray and meditate for healing for both of us. He’s chosen to not speak to me anymore.

    Love and light!

  114. I love your message of the need to express to others how you feel, instead of just masking feelings through affirmations. It’s a simple message, but a powerful one (and a great way to stay humble!).

    Thanks so much for sharing Gabby!

  115. Thank you, Gabby. You have made an amazing impact on my life. I am in the midst of crises at this point in my life….unexpected job transfer, newly divorced and left financially responsible for my children and way too expensive home. And after waiting for the man whom I thought was the love of my life to heal from his divorce and resume our relationship, I just became aware he has moved on to a new relationship. So as I sit here in deep codependent pain I do realize I need to feel this and it is horrifyingly scary and painful. Like your Spirit Junkie book, this little video seemed to drop into my lap as I have spent the morning on my knees releasing my crises and my lost love to the Holy Spirit. You are an angel, sweet girl and give me the courage to keep going. Much love to you….

  116. Thank you! As a spiritual teacher sometimes we forget that it’s ok to be in our pain for a moment & be, instead of always being the one to uplift thank you for lifting me up today! Namaste

  117. Thank you Gabby for sharing and being vulnerable with us. I have strong fears around acceptance. And as I write this I realize it is even deeper. I can FEEL the anxiety right now when I remember the fear around not making someone mad or upset or angry. This shows up as not being able to return something I purchased or not being able to say “no” when my boss gives me urgent-urgent work to do on the day I was supposed to be at a Gabby workshop in Sun Valley (so of course I missed the workshop and got my boss the work she wanted). And talk about “like attracts like” I am a MAGNET for emotional abusers … and emotional abuse can be so so subtle. I get criticized and I am the focus of another’s negativity and then when the person says “oh i could not have done this without you!” I am hooked — they need me even though I am so worthless.
    Needless to say, I have some things to work out and part is to allow myself to FEEL. And witness my fears.

    1. Hi Valerie, I just wanted to say do some research into BPD and DBT. I just recently found out my personality disorder is what attracts those sorts of men to my life. I am 44 and just finally realizing it! Lots of good books out there, lots of therapy and build yourself a “tribe” of people who accept you for you, But you must first start with yourself. Know that you are beautiful, ok as you are and worthy of more. Best of luck to you.

  118. Thank you Gabby!

    I have been living in fear for the past few years but masking it as indifference. Taking more of a whatever attitude when I the inside there was a this panic that illness was going to hit me again. And it has been affecting all aspects of my life. I’m in a hold/stuck place in life. And continually believing that if I ignore it it’ll go away doesn’t work.

    I feel afraid.
    I feel lost.
    I feel trapped.
    I’m angry that I let these feelings completely take over my life a arrest everything that I do.
    I’m sad that I’m not able to shake it all off and just move on.
    And I’m so frustrated because I don’t even know what I need to do to make it better.

    I’m sorry if I rambled on longer than you would prefer. But I am grateful for you giving us all the safe space to open up and express our feelings.

    1. Nicole, that is so open and honest. Is there any part of you that feels a bit more free from your expression?

      What do you want to feel instead of feeling afraid, lost and trapped? I hope that you are able to find some peace and start living the beautiful life you were meant to live. xo

    2. Accept that this is how you are feeling right now and be gentle with yourself. It is okay to feel those feelings of fear, anger, loneliness, lost, etc. If you please stop resisting that is how you and embrace the feelings, they will lessen. They may even dissipate. Try a visualization … Close your eyes and imagine putting those feelings you expressed into a bubble of glowing light. Now imagine the bubble carrying those feelings upward to your higher power for cleansing… Breathe out the fear, pain, lost feelings as the bubbles ascend. Breathe in courage, strength, love… Now call out to your guardian angels . Tell them you need to feel their presence right now because you are having a difficult time. You are never alone, by the way, your guardian angels are always there with you. You need to let them know when you need them though. I talk to mine and ask them please to guide me. Especially during difficult times. I hope you feel better:-) I send this to you with love and light fellow sister!!!

  119. Thanks for this video, Gabby.

    I’m feeling sad right now. I said goodbye to my doggie of 15+ years last month, and I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. I spent so much time with him and taking care of him, and now there’s just a big empty void in my life and home.

    My husband and kids seem to be moving on, but I’m still feeling so sad and lonely. I miss his physical, fuzzy presence soooo much.

    A friend of mine recently said “drop the story and feel the pain”, and my mom (who’s been a hospice bereavement counselor for 15 years) said I have to “do the work” of grief – and I think they’re both right. As you said, it’s important to feel the feelings rather than trying to mask them with “I’m ok, I’m ok”.

    So thank you for giving me the space to feel this sadness, openly and without judgement.


    1. Heather, i am sorry for your loss. My labrador was with us for 14yrs. and last year in november we had to put him to sleep. Oso was his name and he was a true King. I know how you feel:( i still cry for him. Heather remember that he will always be in your heart. And like that poem says “He is only over the rainbow” he is playing with other dogs and someday he will be reunited with you and both of you will continue on the journey. He is now an angel dog who watches over you.

  120. Thank you Gabby for telling me it is okay to feel how I feel. I guess I do overspiritualize things in my life because I try to keep that positive attitude but it is so hard because I don’t always feel positive and this is not my truth. I do have permission to feel pain to feel loneliness and to feel the way I feel. Once again thank you because I now know I can open up to myself and others and speak my truth out loud then I will find my true self and able to let go and delete.

  121. Gabby, you are amazing, how real is that!!! So true, i am always overlooking my feelings to be ‘spiritual’, allowing too much to go unsaid so that I am not judging or blaming, but at times, the truth just gotta be told! 🙂 And our feelings recognised and nurtured before a more natural release. Keep on rocking!

  122. This is beautiful Gabby, thank you.

    I’m feeling a little lonely at the moment, to be honest.

    Recently when I went on a speaking tour, I was telling the audiences about the power of my current relationship. My hubby is the first person I’ve been with that I never clung to. I’ll never forget saying to him ‘I don’t need you in my life. I just really want you in it’.. That was HUGE for me, and as someone who was also addicted to relationships, I’m sure you can understand 🙂 The audience really responded well to that, and took away a new perspective in which to view their relationships…

    My man works away- weeks and weeks at a time, and as my business (and spiritual practice) evolves, yes, I’m realising that I need more and more time alone for the creative flow, but I miss this man around me. My life is richer with him around, more hilarious, sweeter. I still don’t NEED him, but damn, I miss him!

    So I’ve been expressing that- like you did regarding the negative comments- to my tribe. It feels good to be honest. I feel like it’s also important that our tribe knows that we’re NOT perfect and at our ‘best’ 100% of the time.

    He gets home in 2 days and holy freaking moly it cannot come soon enough.

    Thanks again for another fantastic video babe x

  123. For years I have lived blaming myself and others for my relationships. Day after day I had been angry at God and anyone available to be angry at, I have hated all the men I dated, always stating that I have never had a real relationship. Part of my anger has been that the men I have dated have never fallen in love with me. Just a couple of weeks I opened up for the first time to express my feelings and the way I felt. I went on and shared everything about how I felt, I was as honest as I could be. I received a wonderful comment that made me continue working on who I really. These past 6mo. have been a real rollercoaster of emotions. Some days I feel real dissapointed, others I felt that i am not spiritual enough, or that i do not know how to pray or meditate the correct way. Wel, l today felt amazing to sit and actually realize that no matter how you pray or meditate as long as you are willing to believe and be honest and be there for yourself and allow yourself feel whatever feeling you need to feel it’s probably actually its the most rewarding you can do for yourself.
    Today for the first time I felt, and heard in me that every relationship I have had, in its own way it has been a meaninful. Every single one had been a holy encounter(this I learned by reading, Gabrielles book, and following her and reading Course in Miracles). All my relationships brought me to were I am at, at first it was painful to go into those feelings of not beeing good enough, of not being the one they fell in love with. I have forgiven them, I have forgiven myself, I have also realized that if at the time I expected someone to fall in love with me, if i could not even stand myself at times. Through you Miss Gabby I have learned so much about me. For the first time I have been showing up for myself and learned that no one is better than me and that I am not better than anyone else.
    Sorry this comment is so long, and I am a horrible speller and my grammer is bad.. But, I dont care I love that I can express myself and be able to pour out a bit of me in these lines.

    **Gabby, it’s only a handful of people who give you negative critisizm, But, there are soooo many women like me who are greatful and blessed that a woman like you had the courage to step up and share her life with us. Thank you, I am and declare myself a Gabby believer thanks to you i am still learning. And I am pushing other women believe in themselves and introducing them to your books.

    1. That is a lovely open real honest reply. How is it that we go through life never feeling good enough and seeking people out to prove that to ourselves. It is within us all it seems and like you, ever grateful to people who admit truths about how we feel, such as you, Gabby and others who have been so open and honest about life, feelings and allowing them to surface so we can move forward with more ease and authenticity. The very best of luck to you, much love & blessings your way 🙂 I am buying the book based on your comment also, thank you 🙂

      1. Yollie, thank you for this honest post. Your truth is beautiful. Caroline, thank you for spreading love here:) Sat Nam sisters…

    2. I’m soo grateful for this honest post! and so happy that you were served by the digtial sisterhood on HerFuture. xoox

    3. Thank you for your honesty Yolie! I too have beaten myself up over believing I am not good enough and I spent too many years running after relationships! I still feel regret and shame over this, but now I no longer believe I have to go find one or my self-love will be had through a man’s adoration. I have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I am so grateful for her and want to heal and live myself for both our sakes. We live with her dad and this is stressful and I wish we were on our own because he has never wanted me for the last 7 years of our on/off relationship. Letting go of the dream of him has been huge, and I am ready to move on.

  124. I am desperate to get out of my own way and finally find a meaningful job after being out of work for 6 months.

    1. I’m in the same situation. I try to believe that this is trying to teach me something (to find m purpose in life maybe?) and it isn’t happening without a reason and I’m working on doing my best even though it is hard sometimes. During the day I often think that many people who don’t like their jobs must be really jealous of me, because I have so much spare time 😉 And I’m happy that I can go to Yoga without stressing myself out. Must think positive about the jobloss, but can’t make a meaningful job up either.

      1. Right there with you, Eva. I have been out of work for almost seven months and continue to try to think positive, which can be challenging at times. The Law of Divine Compensation written by Marianne Williamson has been a great motivator.

        1. I know I already posted but this is kind of a follow up. Since my inital post I have these feelings that are bubbling up and I normally would shove them down but I don’t have the energy to do it anymore. My concern is that I don’t want to take it out on the nearest person or evenact out in that emotion. I want to be heard and but I don’t want to become this unbearable individual either. What is the healthiest way to process these feelings and move forward without dragging them with me?

          Thank you

    2. It’s kind of funny. When I read the book and was focusing soo much on how to incorporate ING into my life it seemed like nothing was really happening for me. But then after I kind of set it to the side and just tried to relax with it and not focus on it soo much things started to happen for me. This was Marchish. I got a part time job but not a full time. I love my part time job but I need to turn it into a full time job with benefits and I also want to be using my college degree. I got a job as a receptionist at a real estate office.. I don’t love the sales aspect but I love thinking about people I know and trying to fit them with the best house. I think I will revisit the may cause miracles lessons. I have not kept up with it. Thanks Ladies! You will find something you love EVA! and not only because I LOVE your name!

      1. I am currently on the Finance week of may cause miracles, and I am also in search of a career or even just a side job to support my passion for Dance. I feel resistence of this week’s practice because I’m unemployed, in debt, and have doubts about my future. I’ve related my fears to finances since week one, but opening up Week 5 made me excited and terrified to have reach the moment to look at this fear head on. The hardest things to face are the most vital. “I am willing to change my inner dialog about my finances”

  125. This deeply resonated with me. I’ve been going through a broken heart for the past two months, and while I’ve made progress, I noticed I was “surrendering” and “forgiving” as a form of control—to avoid my pain. Now I feel sensations around my throat chakra. Just before watching this (so timely!), I went deep into meditation and told myself it’s okay to feel everything. It’s still hard for me to emote because I have habitually numbed myself. I will keep being gentle, allowing emotion, and release. Thank you! Love, Johanna

    1. Johanna – here’s sending you love & support to move through this and express yourself as you feel drawn to. Shine on.

    2. I totally relate to what you are saying, Johanna. I have also been dealing with a broken heart for the past few months and, while affirmations help to some extent , they mostly only helped superficially (‘fake it ’til you make it’). Where I have made the most progress is by just letting myself be sad or angry no matter how intense the emotions get (it’s like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride some days!).

      He was sent into my life to teach me to not be numb AND as an opportunity to learn to be compassionate to myself. What lesson have you taken from the experience? (saying you learned not to date jerks doesn’t count!)

      Also, don’t let anyone give you a time limit to ‘mourn’. Take all the time you need to feel and heal.

      Best wishes and love,

      1. Deb,

        Thank you for your beautiful wisdom. I am with you on this journey, and it is not an easy one!

        I have a list of things I’ve learned (and thank you, Gabby, for inspiring many of these lessons!):

        1. Two people can never “break up” because there is no separation. Only our old story is over.
        (check out Jeff Foster on YouTube “Waking Up and Breaking Up from the Dream of Relationship”).

        2.People can’t “complete” one another because everyone is complete; therefore, no one will ever be “enough” for anyone. The question of “enough” is irrelevant if we are all inherently complete. We are all love.

        3. If I don’t see with compassion, don’t see. Compassion is view and wisdom is right-minded action (even if the action is no action).

        4. To connect to my body and allow myself to feel the space of self-compassion. There is nothing this space cannot hold.

        5. I don’t have to be apologetic about my desires (huge one for me! Thanks Gabby!)

        6. He could never give me what I wanted: I wanted to be “chosen” but I was blind to the fact I was not choosing myself. My heart was asking of me what I was asking of him: “Choose me!” I wasn’t fair to either of us because I wasn’t listening within.

        7. Allow what needs to die, die, and allow what needs to be born, be born (ACIM).

        8. Meditative space is my refuge and my motivation to succeed, not the relationship–everyone wins when my heart wins because we are all a reflection of one another–I cannot get lost trying to control the reflections I see, but I do no good to hide from them either.

        9. Trusting, allowing, and “seeing” has softened me–I am strong through my softness.

        10. Concepts are useful but meaningless without mediation; I can preach all day but learn each of these lessons all over again if I am not in tune with my heart and honest about my fears.

        Much love,

        1. Ladies, thank you for sharing. I rarely leave comments but I too am dealing with a broken heart. It really hurts. I can relate to your posts and I thank you for inspiring me to share my feelings.

          I do believe that I am now, finally, on my journey to truly loving myself and I will take comfort in that.

          Sending love and miracles,


        2. I want to thank Gabby for providing such powerfully essential insight that I am especially in need of hearing today(January2016-thank God for video archives as well;) and I also just want to thank and send so much gratitude and light and love to everyone of my collective soul mates who were brave enough to be rigorously honest with themselves and kind enough to share their honesty with us in this forum. Johanna and Deb, your beautiful exchange and insights have truly blessed and empowered me in a time of need. I am feeling hurt, disillusioned, betrayed, and having feelings of unworthiness after a recent discovery about the unfaithfulness of my partner of two years, who I admittedly had put up on a pedestal as “the good one/the real deal” because we are both several years sober/living a program of recovery and I falsely believed that meant I was surely in my right mind(rather than my disease) when choosing him as a partner because he had come to the same spiritual awakening as I had upon choosing sobriety and the 12steps(which are really just a program for living). I am four years sober and he is 7 years sober. I think I mentally held him to an impossible standard of being infallible. I see where my part in this is(at least I hope I do) and from my experience in AA and as a student of a course in miracles I think I also may have mistakenly held myself to a different but equally impossible standard of being able to immediately/instantaneously heal through forgiveness. I do believe that forgiveness is the ultimate miracle for healing, but this video and the comments below have helped me to see that I too over-spiritualized/skipped the necessary pre-production of the healing process(I’m a screenwriter/see the world through narrative arcs) and when looking at it from that perspective, I skipped the entire 2nd act(where the struggle and the growth occurs) and went straight from the “inciting incident” of the first act directly to the resolution(or in my case false/resolution) of the 3rd act. Though sober from drugs and alcohol I have some emotional sobriety to work on. Over-spiritualizing for me is really just a repetition of old behavior -of fearing the discomfort of facing my pain and seeking a quick fix instead of a lasting solution. The quick fix I chose in this instance was overly-spiritualizing/fast tracking forgiveness as a means to “escape” the truth and reality of my uncomfortable and painful feelings right now. I thank you all and I thank the universal divine source for guiding me to this video/message/and forum of shared truth. Namaste?????

      2. Deb, what you said about him being sent into your life to teach you not to be numb resonates deeply inside me. I have not had a broken heart in so long that I could not bear the pain and living in a state of numbness for months. That my husband lacks the capacity to feel compassion or empathy for my pain has taken me out of myself into a dark ugly place that I have had a hard time coming out of. Thank you for your wisdom. As of right now I will let myself feel. I will cry scream, whatever it takes and most of all be compassionate to myself. Namaste!

    3. My heart goes out to you, Joanna. A broken heart is one of the most painful to go through, so let your family and/or friends help and support you as you go through each day. Time is the healer here, and your heart will slowly mend. I always tell myself ‘This too shall pass’, because it always does. It is an amazing saying and I use it all the time. Love to you.

    4. this is so great! I love it. I would numb myself to the feelings I was having as well. I will let myself know that its okay to feel any feelings/emotions I need to feel in order to heal. Thank you gabby and thank you Johanna 🙂 appreciate it. really needed to hear this.

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