Note: I updated this post in 2019 for clarity and additional resources.
I often witness people over-spiritualize their issues without dealing with them in an honest way.
Sometimes we rely on affirmations to feel better without getting to the root cause of our discomfort. Other times we talk a big game about forgiveness but, deep down, don’t have a genuine desire to let go and forgive.
If this resonates with you, there’s no shame in it. I’ve over-spiritualized many times. What matters is that we witness that we’re over-spiritualizing and take steps to honor our feelings instead.
What is over-spiritualizing?
Many people are carrying a lot of pain, discomfort and negative experiences. Many people resent family members, friends, coworkers and people from their past. They feel this pain every day but don’t know how to deal with it.
When we don’t know how to deal with our pain, those of us on a spiritual can path can use our spiritual practice to almost overstep the healing process.
We repeat affirmations but don’t fully believe them, and we aren’t doing the spiritual work that goes along with those affirmations. We may be walking around saying things like, “I forgive, I love, I release.” We post those quotes on Instagram but that’s it. We’re using affirmations in place of doing the actual work of feeling the experience. This is over-spiritualizing.
I did this for many years. I understand it. We don’t actually want to go to the depths and the darkness of the discomfort. That’s what we have to do in order to actually move through the pain. If we simply go through the motions of our spiritual practice, we’re skipping an important step: getting honest about our feelings and honoring them.
How to honor your feelings
If you’re over-spiritualizing instead of really dealing with your issues, I have three concrete tools for you. Keep reading for my guidance on how to honor your feelings.
1. Move through your feelings with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s also known as tapping. This is a practice that allows you to get honest about how you feel and what’s coming up for you. It gives you fast relief so that you can say the things that you’re scared to say and immediately feel better about them.
Here’s a beautiful EFT video from Brad Yates about honoring your feelings:
2. Practice Kundalini yoga
When you do Kundalini yoga, you allow your emotions to move through you naturally so that you can shake them out and have a cathartic experience. That experience of catharsis can be our greatest tool for moving through discomfort, pain and deep patterns of negativity.
Here are some of my Kundalini videos to help you:
- Check out a roundup of my favorite Kundalini meditations.
- Practice the 1-minute “backpack meditation” for fast stress relief.
- Use this Kundalini mantra practice anytime, anywhere.
- This short meditation helps you calm down so you can move through your feelings.
3. Speak your truth
One thing I’ve talked about is how I handle negative comments on the internet. My philosophy has always been “forgive and delete,” but sometimes a post will really get to me. In those situations, great healing occurs not because I breeze past my feelings and say, “I forgive and delete, and I’m moving on.”
That healing occurs because I say, “I’m hurt. This is uncomfortable.”
I let myself have that feeling. I let that emotion come forward and then I expressed it. And then, once I’ve felt it and honored it, I forgive and delete. Or, if it’s not something I can delete, I forgive and then I ask how I can help someone else. (This is a beautiful lesson I share in my new book, Super Attractor.)
Have you ever had a moment where you expressed your truth to someone and everything changed? That’s often when people fall in love with you more! I’ve had that experience countless times in my life. I’ve just told someone, “This is how I feel,” and our relationship has changed forever. It’s become stronger, deeper and more real. Vulnerability heals. Truth, spoken with kindness, heals.
When you say how you feel and share your truth, you also give others permission to do the same. You become the teacher.
Get started with my FREE Super Attractor Audiobook Intro
You are a Super Attractor! Get my free audio intro to Super Attractor. In this 26-minute audiobook introduction i’ll tell you why.
You’ll learn how to stop controlling and start allowing. This is a major one for me. I spent years practicing spiritual methods for releasing control. For most of my life, I relied on the control in order to feel safe. The method I teach in the workshop is one that I apply in my own life to undo the fear and need to control.
I also share a practice that I rely on daily: the practice of accepting that good thing can come easily. We all suffer from the belief that we have to struggle to feel good, succeed and attract what we want. In order to heal this belief, we must learn how to accept that when we relax and allow, good things come easily.
Again, these are all practices I apply in my own life on a daily basis. Fear, past trauma, rage and anxiety block us from feeling good and attracting what we want. This workshop will help you undo these patterns so you can be free!
Honor the process and let it unfold
Don’t be afraid to say how you feel, because when you let yourself be authentic you experience dramatic growth. Use your tools, such as EFT and Kundalini, to honor your feelings and move through them. Even if you can’t do it in the moment, do it later in the day when you have the time. Let it be a process. Let it unfold.
In that process you can always bring your affirmations and prayers back in. But first, let yourself feel. Before you post that mantra on Instagram or repeat that affirmation all day long, give yourself a chance to get honest and honor your feelings.
I hope this serves you and helps you honor your feelings. If you feel moved to do so, post in the comments below about what it is that you want to work through. Share how you feel. When you express that feeling, you can start to receive a lot of relief in that instant.