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Seventeen years ago, I made the choice to get clean and sober—a choice that would change my life forever. 

My 24-year-old self could never have imagined who I am today. Thankfully, she made the right choice to get clean and hold a vision for a better future: a vision of freedom and inner peace. 

Today, I can look back and see the part of me that became addicted to cocaine—she’s dissociated, disembodied and running from her past. Instead of seeing her through the lens of judgment, I can see her with compassion and love. I’m proud that she was brave enough to face the deeper reasons behind her suffering and fearlessly show up for healing. 

Here’s the biggest shift: I was able to witness my addiction as a form of protection—a way of numbing out my impermissible feelings and trauma from my past.

the journey toward addiction recovery requires one thing: willingness to heal 

That willingness starts with changing your perspective. 

In this episode of Dear Gabby, I will teach you how to witness your addictive patterns (or bad habits) through the lens of compassion rather than attack. 

understanding addictive patterns

Why is it so hard for an addict to let go of harmful behavior patterns? 

As a sober woman who made the commitment nearly two decades ago to stay clean, I really want you to feel my acceptance and my love and compassion for the parts of you that are addicted—because they’ve been working really hard to keep you from facing deeper wounds. 

Maybe that subtle shift toward acceptance gives you the bravery to start getting a little bit more curious about the addictive patterns that are inside you. 

Feeling inadequate? Or do you have an intense need to control everything? Struggling with addiction right now?

Listen to this episode for a whole new perspective and the clear first step to freedom.

Maybe there’s a behavior you’ve noticed … but you’re not even sure it’s an addiction. There are two questions you can ask yourself:

1. Has your life become unmanageable in any way because of this behavior? (Does it affect your work or home life? How is it affecting your health?)

2. Are you powerless over it? (Can you get through the morning, or the day, without it?)

Be honest with yourself about how this behavior affects you day to day. Then, if you still aren’t clear—or if you recognize addictive patterns but you still don’t know if you want to change—I’m offering you a powerful prayer for clarity in your choice.

simply ask for guidance and be open to receiving it

Get the prayer here on Dear Gabby.

my personal trauma recovery journey

The first step to healing is to become conscious of our triggers and the BIG feelings that live beneath our destructive patterns. You can’t do this without looking through the lens of love and offering deep compassion for the parts of you that have worked so hard to keep you safe by whatever means possible.

And you have to be curious about those parts of you.

It was only when I became brave enough to wonder why I was running that true healing was possible. 


If today’s episode resonates with you, you can continue your journey of self-reflection with my book Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace.

shift your perspective

in this episode on addiction, you’ll learn how to:
  • Treat yourself and others with greater compassion and acceptance
  • Witness your addiction or destructive behaviors through the lens of love so you can open yourself up to healing
  • Reframe your understanding of addictive patterns, including socially acceptable behaviors like workaholism 
  • Stop judging yourself and open the door to profound change by asking for clear direction

I hope this episode gives you the opportunity to be a little bit more curious about the parts of you that have been fighting so hard for so long. That curiosity and compassion is what I really want to spark in you today, because feeling safe as you explore those parts is where your journey to healing starts.

The clearest path to recovery must come through acceptance, compassion and love.

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This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.