free meditation
hero image emotional wellbeing

With psychic medium Lisa Williams

If you’re reading this, you’re probably holding on to something right now. A relationship, a situation at work, a fear you can’t shake, or a story you’ve been carrying for so long it feels like part of you. You’ve told yourself to let it go. Maybe you’ve said it a hundred times. And it still hasn’t budged.

I’ve been there, and honestly, I’m still in it. The messages that came through spirit in this conversation with my dear friend and psychic medium Lisa Williams genuinely helped me. And I know it can help you too. Together, Lisa and I channeled messages from our guides on how to actually practice letting go of control, not as a concept, but as something you can feel in your body, in real time, today.

The Real Reason Letting Go Feels So Hard

We’ve all heard “just let it go.” And if you’ve ever felt mad when someone has said that, you’re not alone. The difficulty isn’t that we don’t want to surrender — it’s that the mind immediately wants to know how. And that need for a how is exactly what keeps us stuck.

Our brains are wired for safety, and safety means staying with what’s already known. So even when something clearly isn’t working, the mind resists releasing it. It would rather suffer inside a familiar story than risk the unknown of actually letting go. This isn’t a weakness, but willpower alone isn’t going to get us there.

Underneath the grip, there’s usually a core wound. A belief we picked up somewhere along the way that’s been running quietly in the background ever since, shaping our patterns and our choices. Those core wounds are what we’re really releasing when we practice letting go of control.

The Gap: What Your Soul Already Knows

Lisa’s guides came through with a beautiful reframe. Surrender, they said, is almost always overthought. We treat it like a big act of will; something we have to achieve. But what we’re actually doing is much simpler and much softer: we’re becoming more aligned with the part of us that is already free. The soul isn’t struggling. Only the mind is.

The soul already trusts. It’s already at peace with the outcome. The tension we feel is the gap between the mind’s fear and the soul’s knowing.

Mind vs. Soul and the Breath Between Them

Lisa’s guides described it this way: your soul is pulling you toward what you’re genuinely called to. Your mind is keeping you stuck in the old story. And between those two — between the soul’s pull and the mind’s resistance — there is a space. A gap. And that gap is where everything unfolds.

“The soul is pulling you toward what you’re called to. The mind is keeping you stuck. Separate the two, and there is the breath.”

When you find your way into that gap, you’re not forcing a resolution. You’re creating the space for spirit to show you the way. The breath is how you get there. When you slow down and breathe, you create just enough of a pause between the panic and the knowing. And in that pause, your soul can come in gently. The mind stops racing. New pathways open up.

How to Stop the Mental Spiral

One of the most practical tools Lisa shared in this conversation is also one of the simplest. Notice when your next thought starts with what, why, when, where, how, or who. Those six questions are the brain trying to understand, predict, and control. When your mind is stuck in that loop, it’s not surrendering, it’s problem-solving something that isn’t yours to solve.

The moment you catch yourself there, stop. Just stop, and breathe. That interruption — that tiny pause — is the entry point into the gap. You don’t need to do anything else in that moment. The breath is enough.

Surrender Is Not Giving Up

This distinction matters so much, and I want you to really take it in.

Surrendering is not the same as giving up. Giving up means walking away, losing hope, deciding it’s over. Surrendering means giving it over; to spirit, to your guides, to a plan that’s greater than the one your ego designed. You’re still present. You still care. You’re just releasing your grip on how it has to go.

“It’s not giving up. It’s giving it over.”

A Course in Miracles describes the miracle as a shift in perception. When we’re holding on so hard, convinced that our version of the outcome is the right one, terrified of what happens if we don’t control it, that’s the perception keeping us stuck. The moment we accept that our plan might not be the plan, that the how and the when are actually none of our business, something shifts. That shift is available right now. It doesn’t require anything to change in the outside world first.

The Serenity Prayer holds so much of this: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Lisa and I both came back to that prayer again and again in this conversation. Bill Wilson, the co-founder of AA,  channeled something profound when those words came through him, and they are just as alive today.

Finding Your Prayer

So how do you actually do this? How do you get into the gap when the fear is loud and the mind is in full spiral?

You find your prayer.

It doesn’t need to be formal or religious. It just needs to be yours: a phrase, a lyric, a mantra, an offering. Something that interrupts the loop and brings you back to your breath, back to your soul, back to the present moment.

Lisa shared a story to help illustrate this: she discovered her husband had been unfaithful — with her best friend, before their wedding — and she found out after they were married. Her best friend had been a bridesmaid. The betrayal was total. And as those questions flooded in, every what, why, when, where, how, who firing at once, the thing that brought her back wasn’t a plan or a conversation or an answer. It was a song. She started singing “I Can Only Imagine,” and she sang it probably a hundred times in that first week. In the shower, in the middle of the night, whenever the fear surged back.

That song was her Serenity Prayer. It interrupted the spiral. Every time she sang it, she came back to her truth, back to love, back to her own center. And from that center, she was able to come back to her marriage. When Your Only Word Is “Help”

My version of the prayer is simpler than anything I could have planned. It’s just: help. Said out loud, sometimes. Not to anyone specific — just out into the room, into the air, toward whatever is listening.

Recently, I hit a real bottom with an old pattern and old belief system, one that had been with me for years and that, in this particular moment, started to hurt not just me but people around me. I took care of my side of the street right away. And then I spent the rest of that day in shame. I wasn’t trying to fix it or replay it or solve it. I just kept saying, help me. Help me. Help me. Cooking dinner: help me. Waking up at 3am: help me. And gradually, the self-forgiveness started to come in. The scene in my mind slowed down. I didn’t get overwhelmed enough to try to make things worse. That prayer held me in the gap, and the gap held me.

Your prayer might be the Serenity Prayer. It might be a lyric that moves you. It might be take this from me or show me where to go and what to do (a line I love from A Course in Miracles). It might be a single word. What matters is using it consistently, every time the fear rises. Say the prayer, and then let it be. Don’t analyze it. Don’t check whether it’s working. Just let it be.

How Affirmations Actually Work

Louise Hay came through during this conversation with a message I really want to pass along. She was clear: her affirmations were never meant to override your experience. They weren’t designed to cancel out the pain or just replace one story with a more positive-sounding one.

They were designed to create the pause. To put you in the gap. To give you just enough of a shift in your vibration, what she called an attitudinal shift, to open your consciousness to spiritual support. Affirmations are a bridge, not a bypass. They work not because they change your belief in a moment, but because they create enough space for something new to come in.

How to Live a Spirit-Led Day

Once you’ve found the gap, the natural next practice is letting spirit guide the rest of your day rather than just your moments of crisis.

A spirit-led day is exactly what it sounds like. Instead of waking up and immediately filling your mind with plans and worries and to-do lists, you ask. Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom? And then you follow what comes: the nudge to call someone, the instinct to take a different route, the pull toward a conversation you hadn’t planned.

“When we don’t ask spirit to guide our day, we get in the way.”

I have my own morning version of this, which I call the Daily Design Method. I ask: Who would you have me be today? What would you have me receive? What would you have me give? I let the answers shape my day rather than starting from a fixed agenda. Some days that looks very different from what I planned. And almost every time, what spirit designs is better.

Try it today. Just for the next 24 hours, when a fear comes up or a control impulse kicks in, ask spirit where to go next. You don’t have to clear your schedule or abandon your responsibilities. You just have to leave a little space, a breath, for guidance to come in.

The Hand It Over Meditation

At the end of our conversation, I led everyone through the Hand It Over Meditation — a practice specifically designed to help you release the one thing you’ve been holding on to too hard. It moves you through the gap between your human need to control and your soul’s knowing that you are free. Most people feel real relief on the other side of it.

You can experience the full guided meditation in the video above. I’ve also added it to the Gabby Coaching Membership so that members can return to it whenever they need it.

Resources

Get my free guided meditation to connect with your Spirit Guides

By submitting your number, you agree to receive recurring automated promotional marketing text messages from Dear Gabby, Inc. and Gabby Plus, Inc. at the cell number you entered above. Consent is not a condition of any purchase. Reply HELP for help and STOP to cancel. Msg frequency varies. Msg and data rates may apply. You also agree to our Terms & Privacy Policy.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to let go of control spiritually? Letting go of control spiritually means releasing your attachment to a specific outcome and trusting that something greater — spirit, your guides, the universe — is working on your behalf. It doesn’t mean becoming passive. It means choosing to stop forcing and start listening.

What is the difference between surrendering and giving up? Giving up means disconnecting from the situation entirely. Surrendering means handing it over: to spirit, to your guides, to a higher plan. You’re still present and willing; you’re just releasing the need to control how it unfolds.

How do I know when I’m holding on too tightly? A reliable signal is when your thoughts keep circling the same questions: what, why, when, where, how, who. That loop is the mind trying to solve something it can’t. When you notice it, that’s your cue to breathe, pause, and reach for your prayer or mantra.

What is the gap between mind and soul? The gap is the space between the mind’s impulse to control and the soul’s natural state of trust. You access it through breath and prayer; slowing down enough to let your soul’s knowing come through. According to the guidance channeled through Lisa Williams in this episode, the gap is where everything unfolds.

What is a spirit-led day? A spirit-led day is a practice of asking spirit to guide your choices rather than planning and controlling your way through. You might ask: Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? Then you follow the nudges that come and see what opens up.

About Gabrielle Bernstein

Gabrielle Bernstein is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, speaker, and spiritual teacher. She is the host of Dear Guides, a YouTube show and podcast where she channels guidance from spirit alongside some of the world’s most gifted psychic mediums and spiritual teachers. Her books include Super Attractor, The Universe Has Your Back, Happy Days, and more. Gabby has been sober for over twenty years and is a dedicated student and teacher of A Course in Miracles.

dear gabby #326 Jul 13, 2026 emotional wellbeing

how to let go of control (and finally find peace)

Listen on:
 If you're the one in your life holding everything together for everybody else, what does spirit want us to know? Are you gripping something tightly right now? You're trying to fix it, you're trying to force it, control it, and it's just exhausting you. Spirit wants you to know there's another way through. Welcome back to Dear Guides. Today, Lisa Williams, my beautiful friend, and I are going to ask our spirit guides to share the messages you need to hear right now about letting go, about surrendering that thing that you've been trying to hold onto and trying to control. And stick around to the end. I'll be guiding you through a hand-it-over meditation. This is gonna help you release that one thing that you've been trying so hard to control, and you're gonna feel instant relief at the end of this meditation, and clear guidance and inner wisdom on how to completely surrender. So welcome back to Dear Guides. Yay. Lisa, welcome back. Thanks for having me. Welcome back. You have these incredible guides that you work with. Mm-hmm. And they're Ben- Anu Anu, yep And Jo- Josiah ... Josiah. Yeah. Okay. And these guides are gonna come through for us today to teach us wisdom and surrender. Mm-hmm. And talk about how to let go. Yeah. Anyone out there that's watching, you've been holding onto something, 'cause you's pressed play on this video. We've all- So dumbass ... well, well, I, I have. I mean, you know, it's interesting. This is a really valuable conversation for me- Yeah ... today, because I'm at this precipice of this one story, this old story that's just been me up for so many years. It's understandable, because we, we have these core wounds. Mm-hmm. They create beliefs. Yep. Those beliefs create patterns, and those patterns create our reality. How can we undo these patterns? And that's what Spirit's gonna talk to us- Yeah ... about today. We struggle, because it's our mind. Our mind wants to hold onto them. But I, I think sometimes when we just allow ourself just to be, then we're gonna be shown the way, but it's a struggle. The struggle is real. The struggle. The struggle is real. So our guides are gonna help us today, and I already feel my guides being like, "Da, da, da, da, da, da." Mm-hmm. "Gabby, Gabby, Gabby." Can feel 'em. Yeah. So w- would you like to invoke the guides for us today- Sure ... into this room? Let's, let's- Okay ... invite them in. So I'm gonna ask for our guides, our spirit guides, our angels, maybe our loved ones to come forward and help us connect from this world to the next. And we ask for the information and the guidance to come through clearly and concisely and accurately for those who are listening, to offer support and love and wisdom for all. Mm. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wisdom I want everyone to walk away with from this video today is, one, w- what it is that they wanna release, 'cause you may not know. You may know. My, my... I guess you probably do know. That thing that you've been holding onto, that pattern, that belief, that behavior, that relationship, that, that, that core belief, really. I'd love to work with those core beliefs- Mm ... that we've been carrying around for as long as we can remember, and really experience the surrender in this dialogue through my meditation, through Lisa's channeled wisdom and her personalized wisdom. But also really get it, not just in a physical and a, and a visceral way, but also in a practical way. Yeah. How we can live the art of surrender- Mm ... and letting go of the things that we're trying to control. So I'd love to tap into our guides today. Lisa, you, you have so much wisdom personally on this as well, but- Yeah ... dear guides, how do we let go of that thing we're trying to control? Well, let's see what they wanna come through with, because I feel as though I've done my own lot of lessons in this over the years. Um, let's, let's see where they wanna go with this. It is the choice of whether you choose to fight it or surrender. But surrender, you overthink. Surrender is often overthought because we think there's a lot more that goes into it, and yet there isn't. It's the mind that then acts upon that information. And as you surrender, which really isn't letting go, what you're doing is you're becoming more in alignment with your true self. And knowing that this does not tr- n- not serve you anymore, it's your mind that wants to fight it. So it's separating the mind and the soul, and then finding that space and that gap in order to breathe. Mm. And when you can breathe between the soul and the mind, then you can see the way. Mm. The gap. Talk to me about the gap. The gap is relevant. The gap creates space. It creates the pause. It creates the breath- Yes ... in order for you to then find that focus, that point that you can go with The soul is crying out for one thing. The mind is keeping you stuck in another. Mm-hmm. But when you separate the two, there's the breath. Let me say that again. The soul is keeping you, is pulling you towards what you really are called towards. Yeah. The mind is keeping you stuck. When you separate the two, there is the gap- There's the gap ... the breath. The breath. Yeah. Beautiful. Excellent. And as you're in the breath, and as you're in the gap, what you can then do is then find that balance of the harmony of the two, and it's actually untraining the mind. Yes. That's all it is. It's untraining the mind and finding that pause. And as Lisa, I'm sitting here and going, "That's brilliant." Yes. But it's like, and you're seeing this, and you're seeing this gap, and then the m- then the soul can just come in gently and come in and support, and it's a gentle supporting. Yeah. It's the mind that rushes and pu- pushes and finds the urgency. But as you allow your soul to just gently guide you, that breath then start- that pause becomes bigger. It becomes easier, and the mind just drifts- Hmm. Hmm ... because there's new pathways that are gonna unfold. So it's about getting in the gap. It is about getting in the gap. Yep. That is such a profoundly spiritual message. When we can tease out the separation from our spiritual knowing, that I'm meant to be free from this, I'm meant to live with ease, I'm meant to be in love, I'm meant to be in, in the frequency of, of joy and, and ease, and then the human core wound of, but this is such an ingrained story, and it's been with me for so many decades- Mm-hmm and I'm so stuck in it. When we can tease that out and find our way into the gap, that's actually when things start to unfold naturally. Right. That's when, that's when we're given the guidance and the wisdom on how to heal the core wound, and it's also when we're given the, the miraculous shift in perception that the spiritual realm wants to provide us. Mm-hmm. And the other thing that I have felt for years as, as a, as a spiritual student is that the, that the prayer is, of course in miracles says a prayer- Oh, yeah ... is a medium for miracles. Mm-hmm. And so when we pray, we get into the gap because through prayer we can temporarily suspend those core beliefs that keep us so hooked into- Right the world, and we can return to the spiritual knowing that there is more. They're saying to me right now that you can live in embodiment, an embodiment of prayer, that, that all throughout the day you can give it over, give it over, give it over. Mm. And it's not giving up, it's giving it over, and in that giving it over you get into the gap, get into the gap. So this is really merging these two things right here. Right. So, so your guides are saying that in that gap- The resolutions are developed They, they, it un- all unfolds It unfolds It unfolds. Because what we're trying to do is we're trying to find the solution to the surrendering. Yes What's gonna happen? How's it gonna happen? W- how is it all gonna be? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. So good, yeah. Mm-hmm Right? We're trying to find the next step, but sometimes we don't know the next step. And what we have to do is we have to have the breath, because the soul already knows. The soul already trusts. The soul is almost like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." And I'm like, "Really, can't you just tell us what's going on?" Mm. And the mind just needs to know, and while we're figuring this out, there's just that pause. And then w- that, that's where the f- that's where everything can grow. That's where the beauty lies. And when we allow the mind to stop racing, forcing, you know, controlling, then we can now surrender. And just as Lisa here, I, I, I remember having a moment of being in the darkest place of my life. The darkest place. And they're taking me to remembering this, and I remember sitting on this beach in Thailand and actually saying, "What am I going to do now?" And people are gonna think I'm absolutely batshit crazy right now, but I, I had this thing that come out of the sky, and it looked like... I wrote it down And I've, I have it tattooed on me. And it was in Sanskrit, "Surrender to the divine." Yes. And that's all it is. And it, that divine is not necessarily something you have to worship. The divine is self. Yes, that's right. The divine is self, and it's, it's knowing that breath, it's trusting in that wisdom, and it's trusting in that intuitive space, and trusting in that breath. And that's where the power is. It's so cool how you're describing this right now. People that are watching, they've heard spiritual teachers say over and over and over again, "Spiritual surrender. Turn it over." Mm-hmm. "Let it go." And sometimes when someone says, "Let it go," you wanna be like, "you." Right? But that's because we are stuck in the practical- Mm-hmm of the how, the why, the what if- Yeah ... or what will happen. Yeah. But when we take away the how, the why, the when, the what if, and we just accept full acceptance that we don't have the answers- Right ... that, that our plan isn't the better plan, that the outcome that we think we need may not be the right outcome- Exactly then it makes it a lot easier to let ourselves off the hook and actually give it over. Correct. Yeah. Now, I'm gonna also add on to that. If y- if your next thought starts with a what, why, when, where, how, and who, stop. Yes. Because that's the brain wanting to understand it. Yep. But when we do that, and it is in that s- acceptance, what we can do then is if you s- get rid of those six questions, now what you're doing is you're going, "Okay" I got to accept. I got to let go. I got to pause. Because that's, I think that's the key here. Yeah. Yeah. And it is. It's what you said. It's that acceptance of that moment. And acceptance, it's, it's, it's a shift in perception, and that's that- Yeah ... that's what A Course in Miracles says is the miracle. The miracle is the shift in our perception. So if we have the perception that surrender and letting go is hard, I don't know how, what will happen, I will lose it all, that surrender means I'm giving up- Right ... that, that, that I don't know how, or I can't let go, or it's not safe to let go, all of that is keeping us stuck in the holding on. Mm-hmm. If we even just right now in this moment just decide that surrender isn't giving up, but it's just giving over, that our plans may not be the right plan, that the when and the how is kind of irrelevant- Yeah and that the more we let go, the more intuitive wisdom we receive, that type of shift, that this surrender idea is actually something that's softer, easier, more gentle- Mm-hmm ... and lets me off the hook. Exactly. If you can accept that right now, people, that miraculous shift inside of you actually opens the door for the possibility of true surrender. When we stop trying to force the outcome or the solution, what actually happens energetically? Well, energetically our body shifts. Yes. Everything shifts. Our energy shifts, our vibrations shift, our aura shifts, our chakra shifts. Everything shifts. And have you... You've... We've all had it where people have said, "Hey, you look different," or, "You feel different," or, "What's going on with you?" And it's just because you have just- I felt that about you today ... let go. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I felt that about you as well. Definitely. We're both in very different places- Yeah ... than when we were last together ... very different places. Yeah, yeah. And that we've just let go. Yeah. And I think when you can let go, you're allowing s- spirit to guide you. You're allowing this, this spirit... I often have spirit-led days. Yes. Let's talk about a spirit-led day. I love my spirit-led days. I literally will get up, and if I've got nothing planned, I'm like, "What does spirit want me to do? Oh, I'm going to, I'm gonna get coffee." I don't drink coffee. "I'm gonna go and get coffee. Oh, sure, I'm gonna go and get coffee." Before I know it, I'm talking to somebody at the coffee shop. Yeah. And they're like, "You needed to be there." Okay. I get in my car. "All right, where do you want me to go?" "I want you to go home." "Oh, well, that's boring. Okay, what do you want me to do?" "I want you to read this book." Suddenly I see this passage. I love my spirit-led days. I touch so many different people. I get so many pearls of wisdom. It's taken me on so many different avenues. I really love this idea that we can live a spirit-led, led day every day. I have my daily design method where I wake up in the morning and I'll say, "Who would you have me be today?" What would you have me receive today? Mm. What would you have me give today? And design my day for me. I love that. Design my day. And that also lends us back to that beautiful affirmation from A Course in Miracles. Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom? And then I often add, what would you have me wear? Yeah. Oh, amazing. Yeah, what, what should I wear? What would you have me wear? But, but, but letting ourselves live a spirit-led day. Yeah. Waking up and saying, "Where do you want me to go?" Yeah. And I think that's being of service, you know? And that's real, true surrender. That's real, true surrender. Yeah. Try that out, everybody. I want you to take the next 24 hours, starting right now, actually. I'm not gonna let you wait. And just start asking Spirit, "Where would you have me go? What would you have me say?" Mm. "What would you have me do?" And show me what's up, show me where to go. Yeah. And just be in that throughout the day, every minute. Where would you have me go? I'm gonna do the rest of my day. Why not? I got a schedule, but within that schedule- Within the schedule ... I can do it. Yeah, you, we can all do it. We can do it within the schedule. But every day should be a spirit-led day. It should be. I mean, we still have to- It's a practice ... it is a practice. Yes. You know? And it is a practice, but I think even if you have confines, 'cause I can almost feel the resistance. There's the resistance of, "Oh, but I have to be a mom, I have to be a wife, I have to be a, a spouse, I have to be this, I have to be that." Well, y- but you're gonna have a moment to breathe. What is it, what do you need in that moment? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because- There's the spirit-led ... when we don't ask that question and we don't invoke spirit to guide our day, we get in the way. Oh, all the time. We start playing God. We start controlling. We start pushing, manipulating, making things happen. Mm-hmm. Why is it that holding on to that core fear sometimes can feel safer than letting it go? Our brain is wired for safety. Our brain is wired to keep us safe on what we already know. Right. And so therefore, we are in that place, and yet we know it's wrong. There's an internal indicator that says, "This is wrong," but I can't move away from it. So in that breathing space of knowing, "Oh, I've just gotta breathe and I've gotta surrender," there, that's where the fear kicks in because the brain now doesn't go, "Ah, what's gonna, what am I gonna do?" Yeah. And- The brain wants something to do ... the brain wants something to do. And what I'm being told here is that you actually have to pause. You actually have to default and stop. So when you start getting yourself into the fear, and it reminds me of something that happened in my life, that when you get into that fear and you start in that panic, that sting, that moment, that real eesh, you have to just pivot. And if I may share something here, it's deeply personal, but I found out my husband was cheating at one point. Mm-hmm. And, and you met my husband. Mm-hmm. You know, he's a, he's a great guy. And when he told me- I went into that immediate fear. Like, "Oh, my God, what am I gonna do? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da." So in that moment of me find- and it was with a best friend. Okay? With your best friend? With my best friend. Whoa. And it had happened before we'd got married, and I found out after I got married. Okay? So it was a very raw state, and she happened to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. Wow. So this is the ultimate betrayal, and I'm still with him. And, our marriage is the best that we've ever had. But in that moment of fear as those questions were rising, those thoughts were going, I was... And my mind was going, what, where, why, when, how, who, all of these things. Even though he'd shared everything. The one thing I turned to is every time that thought came, is I just went, "I can only imagine." And I just started to sing that song. And all it did was trigger me out- Mm ... of the actual what, where, why, when, how, who. Yep. The panic, the fear, the I'm not good enough, the self-sabotage, the everything. And, and I think I sang that song probably 100 times- Yep, yep ... in the first week. Yep. "I can only imagine." And I sat in the shower and I rocked and I cried and I sang it and sang it. And what it did is I realized how important it was to come back to my truth. Mm. And it was as I came back to my truth, I came back to his truth. And I came back to his love and I came back to my love and I came back to our space. Yeah. And that's what built our relationship. Yeah. And so the fear, the fear that we get trapped in is stories. We get trapped in old stories, old thoughts of shoulda, woulda, coulda, need to. And reality is, is we don't need to do anything. Mm-hmm. We have to just be. What you shared, first of all, thank you share, for sharing- Yeah ... such a vulnerable, authentic story that we, I know will help a lot of people listening. Mm. What I wanna offer everyone now to just take from your experience is what is your song? What is your prayer? What is your offering up? It could be a mantra. Mm-hmm. It could be, "Take this from me," a prayer- Yeah ... just, "Thank you, God, for taking this from me. Thank you, Spirit, for taking this from me and showing me where to go and what to do." Yeah. It could be a lyric from a song. It could be... For, for me, I often just really keep it simple, and I'm like, "Help." Yeah. "Help me." I have had many moments in my life where I've just out loud said, "Help me." Yesterday I had one. Mm. You know, hitting a bottom. I hit a bottom yesterday with this old pattern and an old belief system, where it not only was affecting me, but it started affecting other people. Right. And in, in harmful ways. And I took care of my side of the street right away, and then I was just in shame all day. Mm. And all I could do is just keep saying, "Help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me." And what happened ultimately was that I started to feel a little lighter, and then I'd feel like I was cooking dinner, and it would come back in, and I'd replay the whole scene of what happened. And I'd say, "Help me." And then it'd come back in the middle of the night when I woke up at 3:00 in the morning, replaying the scene of how shamed I was- Mm ... of my behavior. "Help me." And the more I stayed in it, the more that that self-forgiveness started to set in- Yeah ... the more that I didn't get overwhelmed and overcome, the more that I didn't start trying to fix it. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, you, we get into, like, let me, let me just make it even more messy. Yeah. I just stayed in the "Help me." And so I wanna offer that to everyone listening as you open up to your own practice of letting go. What is your prayer? Yeah. Is it a song like what Lisa so beautifully shared? Is it a lyric that you sing? Is it a just simple, "Help me," offering it up, "Take this from me. Show me where to go and what to do"? I love that message from A Course in Miracles: "Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom?" Or just, "Show me what miracles I may perform today." Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just giving it over 'cause that prayer, that pause, that interrupt is what puts us in the gap. Completely, and we need that. And I think that that simple mantra of "Help me" because that is a mantra, and it gives us that moment to breathe- Mm-hmm ... because, and that pause. Mm-hmm. Because when we're asking for help, we can't hear anything else. And now a break to hear from our sponsors. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, we talk about mental health on this show a lot. I've been very open with you about my own spiritual and emotional journey through healing trauma, and how if I didn't have the therapists that I've had over the years, I wouldn't have survived. And that's why I'm always so proud to talk about our sponsor, BetterHelp. BetterHelp's 2026 Stigma Report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise. Yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. And this is time to really move that gap, guys. Mental health is a serious condition, and it's something that we have to take care of. BetterHelp is working to close the gap by removing the friction of finding help. With over 30,000 therapists, it's the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over six million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars, and it's based on this 1.7 million client reviews. All of their therapists are fully licensed in the United States, and they are under a strict code of conduct. And this is a time to get matched with a therapist, make that commitment, give yourself this experience of ease. It's so easy to get matched, and they will take care of you from start to finish. So please don't let the stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/deargabby. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/deargabby. We've all had those mornings when the closet is so packed and the clothes feel like you can't find them, or you're like, "What the hell am I wearing today?" Well, this podcast is sponsored by Daily Look, and this is the number one highest-rated premium personal styling service for women. And with Daily Look, you get your own dedicated personal stylist to curate a box of clothes based on your body shape, preferences, and lifestyle. It's not an algorithm. This is a real personal stylist, and you get the same stylist every single time. And listeners of my show can head to dailylook.com and use code GABBY for 50% off your first order. That's 50% off with my code GABBY. And with Daily Look, you can try up to 12 premium pieces per box in the comfort of your home, saving you time and effort. So whether you need something effortlessly chic for a day at the office or you want to upgrade from last year's stretched-out sweaters, Daily Look has got you covered. And I just used this service recently when I was preparing to go on my trip to London and Portugal. I didn't really know what to wear. I wanted some new sets. OMG, guys, they delivered. They delivered. This is such an easy done-for-you experience. It's streamlined. It's just great wardrobe. It's so wonderful. It's time to get your own personal stylist with Daily Look. Head to dailylook.com to take your style quiz and use code GABBY for 50% off your first order. Once again, that's dailylook.com for 50% off. You make sure you use my promo code GABBY so they know that I sent you. One last time, dailylook.com, promo code GABBY. All right, the funniest thing happened this morning. I had a big box in the mail from my regular subscription to AG1, and my seven-year-old son comes into the room and he goes, "AG1. We love AG1." And he's laughing at me. I'm like, "Ollie, what-- You don't even know what this is. What is it?" And he goes, "AG1. It's gives you hydration and vitamins, and it's the shake that you drink in the morning." And I'm like, "Dude, you're paying attention." My little boy is like an AG1 pro, and that is what we're talking about, right? We're talking about teaching our kids young. And I used to take all these kinds of supplements and mix up creatine powders and completely separate different things and never know what I was getting, and that's why I'm obsessed with AG1 Pro. It's completely streamlining everything in one place for one simple habit, combining the massive foundational layout of AG1 Next Gen with five grams of premium ultra-pure German-made creatine, creativels, creatine monohydrate, and CAHMB, and zinc carnosine. This is something that you're gonna want because it's all in one place. You just stir this little travel pack into 10, 12 ounces of water, and you just drink it on empty stomach, and it's exactly what you need. It tastes like sweet vanilla or pineapple, and it's beautifully made because it's gonna give you the exact energy that you want to get through your day and to fulfill your routine. So visit drinkag1.com/gabby to get free AG1 Pro Yeti Shaker and your AG1 Pro Welcome Kit. That's drinkag1.com/gabby. Louise Hay is here now I saw And she... Did you feel her too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Louise is here, and she's saying, "Well, this is what I've been talking about, guys." Yeah. You know, sh- Louise is the queen of affirmation. Of course. And her affirmations w- this is the thing she really wants me to say. So she's saying, "My affirmations were not to override the real experience. My affirmations were to create the pause to put you in the gap." Mm-hmm. "And to give you the shi- the necessary attunement and, and, and attitudinal shift to open up your consciousness to feel spiritual intervention." Mm-hmm. And she's super loud and clear. So she's not... So, so when you use affirmation, this is Louise, when you use affirmations, it's not about overriding your belief. It's not about canceling out your, your experience. It's not about just replacing it with another story. It's about feeling a new vibration. Completely. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I love that she came in. Uh, and I think that when we're, when we're feeling that vibration, I want people to also realize that that can also be scary, too. Yes. That can be scary because it's the unknown. Now you're like, "Oh, I'm feeling something. What is that?" And again, that is the moment that you breathe and you let that be, whether we call it surrender, but you've gotta let that be. You have to let it be. That's right. Yeah. You have to say the affirmation, say the prayer, repeat the mantra, sing the lyric, and then let it be. Mm-hmm. Then let it be. If you're the one in your life holding everything together for everybody else, what does Spirit want us to know? You're doing an amazing job Yeah You're doing an amazing job, and that you can fall onto spirit. You can fall onto your ancestors. You can fall onto the wisdom, and that little voice in your head is not you going crazy, it's the voice of them talking to you. And that you don't have to f- how- hold it so perfectly. It's allowed to fall, and you can have a moment of tears, softness, surrender, crying, napping, whatever you want to do, but you're doing the beautiful job. And I wanna say thank you so- So beautiful I know. I've had it- Also, there's, there's this message too of, of, uh, other people have guides too. Mm-hmm. So if you're holding it together for everybody else, just ask their guides to help out. I can't tell you how many times I've done that in an argument. "Can, hey, can you, can you..." Yeah. "Step in here. Step in here." I keep hearing the serenity prayer. Oh, yeah. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." God, did Bill Wilson channel some great stuff there. I mean- Unbelievable ... and you've channeled Bill. I have. Yeah. I have. Yeah. And that's actually one of the reasons why I'm sober now. Yes. It was all because of you. Yes. You know? And there I... May I share the story? It was really interesting because, uh, I was telling you about the, what I was doing, and I'd got a glass of wine, and you actually said, "How's that going for you?" And you looked at my glass of wine, and I went, "Huh." And I realized then that I, and I, it was just, it was just not serving me, and that was the last time I had a glass of wine, and I was sitting in your company. And, and now I've been sober three and a half years, which is... And it really, every time I to- tell the story, your name comes up, and it is the most, it's the thing that's changed my life, and it's allowed me to surrender even more into life. Yeah. And realizing that life is actually happening for me, and it's not against me. Beautiful. And it's remarkable, so thank you. Yeah. Thank you for, for your courage- Yeah. Thank you ... to do that as, as the leader that you're here to be. Yeah. You, you know, it's funny. I think that the, that one of my purposes in this lifetime is to definitely help people get sober. Mm. But, but also real thought leaders and, and people that are here for high, high purpose. M- my friend Elena Brower is another example. I- it's a very similar conversation I have with her. Yeah. I said, "If you're getting high, how can you be in service of the light?" Right. And she's been sober ever since that day. Yeah. I love that. And so it's, it's sometimes just having that, that, that question- Mm-hmm ... that curiosity of, "Is this, is this for me?" Yeah. And so that's a perfect example of surrender, right? It was a moment where you witnessed- Mm-hmm ... this thing, it's not at my highest and best. Right. And you made a choice. Yeah. So surrender requires choice. It, it, it does. Sure. I, I do believe that no one would be watching this conversation right now if they weren't already in the inquiry and the curiosity- Yeah ... of that choice. I agree, and I think choice is very important because what it does is it gives that person the autonomy to decide- Yeah of what suits me, what... Not because I'm being told by society or social media or my friends. What is it for me? And then when they can go into that, then they're gonna find their calling. That's what I was just being shown, is that it's all about their calling. And if we wanna go back to Bill Wilson, there is that depth of calling for him. You know, when I channeled him, we can go into that moment where he had that true calling and when I sat at that that table in Stepping Stones and I channeled his energy and the big book and the 12 steps he was really being called of service. Yes. And that's what it was, you know? Can we talk to Bill today? I wonder if he wants to come through- Oh my gosh- ... because I'm feeling him ... I would love to. I feel him. So right now as I'm writing this new book, it's called Unshakeable Faith, and it's gonna be, um... It's not, it's not about addiction, but it's about spiritual surrender and- Mm-hmm ... spiritual trust. Mm-hmm. But it's l- feeling to me like it has the capacity to be, and it will be, a spiritual 12-step guide- Yeah in a sense. Yeah. And not, not hearkening to the 12 steps, but that, that type of impact- Mm-hmm ... I believe. And I feel Bill's presence coming through me. And next to my desk I have this stack of these little books, and there's As Bill Sees It, there's The Big Book, there's The 12 Steps, there's all these different guides, like those, um... You know how people have written all those guides that are, uh, just for today- Yeah ... kind of messages? Yeah. Uh, they're all, like, Hazelden books. Yeah. They're all next to my desk where I'm writing, and these are books that I, that I picked up when I was in my early 20s. I had a very dear friend in, in AA- Mm-hmm who was a, uh, very powerful young woman who was sober. She got sober at 19. She was in her early 20s. She was one of the women that really made me wanna be clean- Mm-hmm ... and sober. Yeah. And her name was Lauren. And about a few years into knowing Lauren, she actually died. Yeah. She had a heart, a heart condition, and she, she died running. And I was able to go into her apartment and, uh, after her family had been there, and take her books, so take whatever I wanted really, like- Wow ... like, like what would be serving. And I took hundreds of books out of her apartment, and gave a lot of them away actually. But I also have them all next to my desk. They're just right there. Mm-hmm. And so as I'm writing this, I feel like Lauren's there, I feel like Bill's there. Yeah. Bill's been top of mind. I, I want w- w- uh, who better to talk about surrender with today? I know. Let's welcome Bill Wilson. If you're new to this, um, if you're not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson was one of the s- really the scribe. Yeah. You know? He- Yeah ... he was a human who made the commitment to get sober, but he was one of the, one of the thought, the, the, the channels that received- Mm-hmm ... the messages of the 12 steps. And what was interesting about Bill, he's, he was devout spiritualist. Yes. And he, he used to table tip, and he had his own little seance room, and he loved spirituality, and this is what he really enjoyed. And one of the things about Bill as you were talking, uh, he reminded me... And I have this, I have a m- if I... In, in actually one of my books I've actually written a, a message from Bill which I'll happily share with everybody. And he talked about how there was going to be another step or more steps, and it was spiritual steps. Oh, boy. And as you were talk- Holy shit. No, seriously. As you were talking, I could hear him saying, "There's my 12 steps." And I'm like, "So Gabby, I want you to know that this is, this is-" And I'm not blowing smoke. You know I wouldn't, but this is, this is him coming forward with absolute- Yeah. Yeah ... prayer and reverence here. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because this is an about enlightenment, okay? And if I, uh, as I feel him coming in, this is about enlightenment. This is about wisdom. You all ha- this is not a, this is wisdom that has already been taught, but it now needs to be reframed in a very different way that people get it for more younger people. You got it. Because- You're nailing it. Yeah ... this is not just about... Oh, I've got chills. This is not just about, um, alcohol anymore. Yes, exactly. This is about TV. This is about sex. This is about, um, social media. This is about shopping. This is about everything. Yeah. Because the, we are now in an addictive society in order to s- to escape, but now it needs to become more relevant. Yes. And he's just said, "I'm old." Mm. "I resonate for the older generation." Mm-hmm. "There now needs to be a younger generation that can resonate, and, and it also needs to be in a feminine power, too." Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And this is, this is where it serves humanity. That's right. And it's, it's, um, it's called Unshakeable Faith: 11 Steps to Spiritual Trust, and I don't know if that's the exact subtitle yet, but the steps are not specific to addiction, though they can- Mm. Mm-hmm ... be the antidote to addiction, but they're the spirit- there's 11 steps to creating your own spiritual foundation- Yeah ... and faith and trust in the universe. Yeah. And the thing is, they're very simple. And they're very practical, and they're, they're, th- and they're absolutely channeled because I'm actually living them. Mm-hmm. So each, each step is being given to me as I live life, so I'm on step five now, and they just keep, keep being presented to me as I live, because they're also healing me as I write them. Right. Yeah. And it feels, there's a part of me that feels, um, a little bit like, "Who the are you to say that you're gonna write the next 12 steps?" But then there's that, then I hear him being like, "Just, just own it." Right. And why aren't you? Yeah, yeah, like why not? And this is why I actually- Yeah ... feel him here, and I- It's not about me ... I have channeled Bill many times. I work with one of, a really big historian of AA, and I've channeled Bill on so many occasions. Bill, Lois, I've channeled them all. And I feel him, and the thing is, is going back to what you said, how simple these steps are, people want to overcomplicate things. Yeah. And so they think it has to be hard if they're not doing it. But reality is, is it is so simple, and we just wanna overcomplicate. And it goes back to the mind again in that surrender. When we actually separate it, we've got that pause and that breath, and that is how simple it can be. That's exactly right, because when we have a trust and a simple path that feels not even e- yes, effortless, but just, like, directed. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Like, okay, I can do one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. You know, it's just like ba, ba, ba, ba. And that it's guided. That's the way. Because when we talk about surrender, one of the biggest things that people get hung up on is when someone says, "Oh, let it go," you don't know how. Right. W- when Bill showed us through the 12 steps as addicts who couldn't release an addiction, here are the 12 steps, it healed millions and millions and millions of people- Right throughout the world, myself included 20 years later. And continues to do it. And continues to have that ripple effect. Mm-hmm. And then the thing that I'd been saying for 20 years of sobriety is, "Wow, I really wish there was a 12 step for people who deni- don't identify as addicts, people who don't qualify for being in those rooms," right? Right. The only qualification is a desire to stop drinking or using your substance of choice. But not everybody has that desire or thinks that that's the problem, but they still have problems. And now a break to hear from our sponsors. You guys know I'm a cat mom. I am constantly bragging about my kitty Jimmy Blue and Lily, and they're my, they're my babies. They're like my little fur babies. And I didn't really know at first how to feed my cats. It'd been a... Like, I just didn't know what to do. I was like, "You just give them dry food. You don't know what to..." You know, I kind of realized later that I was, like, kind of feeding them, like, the Dorito version of cat food. It wasn't cool. And that is exactly what led me to completely change how I wanted to really take care of my cats' nutrition. And Smalls fresh cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free, 100% human-grade ingredients, and you find this in your fridge. It's delivered right to your door. Now, since switching to Smalls, I've noticed that my cats don't throw up anymore. Their fur is so shiny. They just have more energy. They're not, they're not looking as chunky as they used to. They were a little chunky for a minute. And the benefits go far beyond the litter box. Cats use protein as their main energy source, and this high protein is so important for them. And so stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts, please. For a limited time, because you are a Dear Gabby listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/gabby. That's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/gabby This episode of Dear Gabby is brought to you by Alloy Health. Dealing with menopause alone? It's not just you, my friend. Almost 50% of women wait three or more years before seeking relief from menopause symptoms. That's years of hot flashes. It's the sleep, it's the brain fog, it's the mood swings. Thankfully, I got on it right away, but this is something that so many people wait on. They're like, "Why am I so angry all the time? Why can't I remember anything?" And some don't even know where to start, and that's the story that we're dealing with right now. Women so often expect to just silently tolerate sleepless nights, and fatigue, and all of the different things, and we look to caffeine to try to feel better. And all of a sudden we've got this brain fog and it makes things so much worse. I refuse to accept this as a standard for my body, and you shouldn't either. Alloy was built by women who dealt with all of it. It's an all-in-one platform that connects you with board-certified menopause specialist physicians and proven effective treatments. Care starts in hours, not weeks, and 95% of Alloy HRT customers feel symptom relief within the first two weeks. Whether it's a patch, pill, spray, or gel, your treatment comes in that format that works for you and your history. You simply complete a quick online intake form, match with a menopause specialist physician, and they're gonna review all of your personalized treatment plans and get you on HRT right away. There's no issues, no pharmacy hassle. Plus, there's unlimited messaging with your prescribing physician. It's all included. Join the 95% of women who tried Alloy and saw relief in the first two weeks. Head to myalloy.com and use the code Gabby. Your menopause specialized doctor will tailor your treatment to your exact needs. Plus, you get unlimited messaging with your doctor. Head to myalloy.com, M-Y-A-L-L-O-Y.com, and use code Gabby to get $20 off. So as we close the show, I wanna lead everyone through a meditation, and this is a meditation to hand over that thing that you're trying to control. But also, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tee you up for your spiritually led day. Let's do this together. So gently close your eyes And roll your shoulders back. Take a deep breath in and release. Relax your jaw Relax your stomach. Relax your face. Breathe in deeply And exhale completely. Take that thing that you've been trying to control Or that core belief that you wanna just let go of, or the addictive pattern that you're ready to finally release, or the relationship that's been holding you back. Whatever it is that is keeping you in the loop, keeping you stuck And that feeling and that belief that's top of mind, I want you to open your mind and your heart to release it today. We call on our guides and our angels of the highest truth and compassion to enter into this meditation now to create the space for us to get into the gap, that space between our human desire to control and our spiritual knowing that we are free Take that thing that you've been holding onto And offer it up with a prayer now Thank you Spirit for taking this from me For releasing me of the bondage of my past and the obsession with the future Bringing me into this present moment right here, right now In this blessed moment Where I have my breath and breathe and feel your breath breathing in deeply and exhale completely Recognizing that right here in this moment, there's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go There's nothing to fix There's no need to control Just breathe again into that space in your solar plexus, breathing into that space and let it go Again, relaxing your face and your jaw and your shoulders and your neck and your arms. Relax your torso, relax your stomach, your gut, your pelvis, your legs, your feet. Just let it all settle into this present moment right now. And just repeating to yourself silently, there's nowhere to go. There's nothing to do. There's nothing to fix In this moment, all is well All is well And let's extend this moment now by inviting spirit into the rest of your day. Each time you notice that fear arise or that control start to come up, just ask spirit to show you where to go and what to do Let yourself live a spirit-led day today Let this presence in this moment, this clarity and this serenity and this peace and this ease in this moment just be the energy that guides you throughout this day. Nowhere to go, nothing to fix, and nothing to do. Take one last deep breath in And release And smile Feel the relief of what it feels like to be in the gap, to let it go. When you're ready, open your eyes to the room Mm. Wow. They kept my eyes closed the whole time. Every time I'd open my eyes, they'd be like, "Ah, close your eyes again." That was nice. That was really good. Doing it for myself. Yeah. You know, right after this interview, I have this huge thing that's this big call, and something that I've been actually surrendering for years, 20 years. It's something I've been surrendering- Wow ... and here it is now. Like, it's... And it's so interesting to see what it's like to live in the surrender- Yeah ... of something when you, you know, that beautiful... I keep coming back to A Course in Miracles today, but that message of those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Right. So when you know and you have that wisdom and that certainty, you can really let go and trust. And it may be 20 years later that it happens. You might know that something's coming- Exactly but stay in that certainty and that knowing. Yeah. Lisa, what a great- Oh, my gosh ... conversation. That's amazing. We talked to Bill Wilson. We talked to Louise Hay. Louise Hay. I know. We talked to your guides, my guides. I mean, wow, guys. Amazing. This was so good. So if you're watching and you love Lisa as much as I do, definitely check out her book, Survival of the Soul and Divine Wisdom. I've got a link them in below the video, and they're gonna be in the description. And her intuitive oracle deck, her intuitive soul oracle deck, and these are beautiful cards. Thank you. They're all in the description. And as always, my gift to you, my friends, is a guided meditation practice. I want you to feel this energy. You can have my free spirit guides meditation. It's at the link in the description, or you can go to deargabby.com/spiritguides. I also wanna let my, my members know, uh, my Gabby Coaching members, that I'm gonna take the meditation from this, and I'm gonna put it in your app so that you can listen to it and practice it all the time. That meditation I just gave is now yours inside your app, and you can hand it over anytime you want, anytime you need it. If you're not a Gabby Coaching member and you want to have me as your coach in your pocket for a year, for, like, the cost of what one regular coaching session would be with one human, you can join me at deargabby.com/app. And I, I just love you guys. I'm proud of you. It's just amazing to be with you. I want you to stick around for the miracles. If you love this episode and you love my conversations with my beautiful friends and mediums, please subscribe to the channel so you never miss a show, and share this episode with a friend who needs to let something go. Maybe a friend that's struggling with addiction, maybe a friend that's holding on so tightly to something they just cannot release. Send it off to them. Share that with them today. And most importantly, I want you to remember that being here, watching this video all the way to the end, means that you are committed in this lifetime to showing up with a spiritual connection, to being part of the solution, and to being part of a very soulful community and family that we have here at Dear Guides. I love you so much. Have a blessed day If you liked this episode, then you're gonna love my video with Lisa on how to ride the momentum of this energetic shift in 2026. Check it out
dear gabby #326 Jul 13, 2026 emotional wellbeing

how to let go of control (and finally find peace)

Listen on:
 If you're the one in your life holding everything together for everybody else, what does spirit want us to know? Are you gripping something tightly right now? You're trying to fix it, you're trying to force it, control it, and it's just exhausting you. Spirit wants you to know there's another way through. Welcome back to Dear Guides. Today, Lisa Williams, my beautiful friend, and I are going to ask our spirit guides to share the messages you need to hear right now about letting go, about surrendering that thing that you've been trying to hold onto and trying to control. And stick around to the end. I'll be guiding you through a hand-it-over meditation. This is gonna help you release that one thing that you've been trying so hard to control, and you're gonna feel instant relief at the end of this meditation, and clear guidance and inner wisdom on how to completely surrender. So welcome back to Dear Guides. Yay. Lisa, welcome back. Thanks for having me. Welcome back. You have these incredible guides that you work with. Mm-hmm. And they're Ben- Anu Anu, yep And Jo- Josiah ... Josiah. Yeah. Okay. And these guides are gonna come through for us today to teach us wisdom and surrender. Mm-hmm. And talk about how to let go. Yeah. Anyone out there that's watching, you've been holding onto something, 'cause you's pressed play on this video. We've all- So dumbass ... well, well, I, I have. I mean, you know, it's interesting. This is a really valuable conversation for me- Yeah ... today, because I'm at this precipice of this one story, this old story that's just been me up for so many years. It's understandable, because we, we have these core wounds. Mm-hmm. They create beliefs. Yep. Those beliefs create patterns, and those patterns create our reality. How can we undo these patterns? And that's what Spirit's gonna talk to us- Yeah ... about today. We struggle, because it's our mind. Our mind wants to hold onto them. But I, I think sometimes when we just allow ourself just to be, then we're gonna be shown the way, but it's a struggle. The struggle is real. The struggle. The struggle is real. So our guides are gonna help us today, and I already feel my guides being like, "Da, da, da, da, da, da." Mm-hmm. "Gabby, Gabby, Gabby." Can feel 'em. Yeah. So w- would you like to invoke the guides for us today- Sure ... into this room? Let's, let's- Okay ... invite them in. So I'm gonna ask for our guides, our spirit guides, our angels, maybe our loved ones to come forward and help us connect from this world to the next. And we ask for the information and the guidance to come through clearly and concisely and accurately for those who are listening, to offer support and love and wisdom for all. Mm. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wisdom I want everyone to walk away with from this video today is, one, w- what it is that they wanna release, 'cause you may not know. You may know. My, my... I guess you probably do know. That thing that you've been holding onto, that pattern, that belief, that behavior, that relationship, that, that, that core belief, really. I'd love to work with those core beliefs- Mm ... that we've been carrying around for as long as we can remember, and really experience the surrender in this dialogue through my meditation, through Lisa's channeled wisdom and her personalized wisdom. But also really get it, not just in a physical and a, and a visceral way, but also in a practical way. Yeah. How we can live the art of surrender- Mm ... and letting go of the things that we're trying to control. So I'd love to tap into our guides today. Lisa, you, you have so much wisdom personally on this as well, but- Yeah ... dear guides, how do we let go of that thing we're trying to control? Well, let's see what they wanna come through with, because I feel as though I've done my own lot of lessons in this over the years. Um, let's, let's see where they wanna go with this. It is the choice of whether you choose to fight it or surrender. But surrender, you overthink. Surrender is often overthought because we think there's a lot more that goes into it, and yet there isn't. It's the mind that then acts upon that information. And as you surrender, which really isn't letting go, what you're doing is you're becoming more in alignment with your true self. And knowing that this does not tr- n- not serve you anymore, it's your mind that wants to fight it. So it's separating the mind and the soul, and then finding that space and that gap in order to breathe. Mm. And when you can breathe between the soul and the mind, then you can see the way. Mm. The gap. Talk to me about the gap. The gap is relevant. The gap creates space. It creates the pause. It creates the breath- Yes ... in order for you to then find that focus, that point that you can go with The soul is crying out for one thing. The mind is keeping you stuck in another. Mm-hmm. But when you separate the two, there's the breath. Let me say that again. The soul is keeping you, is pulling you towards what you really are called towards. Yeah. The mind is keeping you stuck. When you separate the two, there is the gap- There's the gap ... the breath. The breath. Yeah. Beautiful. Excellent. And as you're in the breath, and as you're in the gap, what you can then do is then find that balance of the harmony of the two, and it's actually untraining the mind. Yes. That's all it is. It's untraining the mind and finding that pause. And as Lisa, I'm sitting here and going, "That's brilliant." Yes. But it's like, and you're seeing this, and you're seeing this gap, and then the m- then the soul can just come in gently and come in and support, and it's a gentle supporting. Yeah. It's the mind that rushes and pu- pushes and finds the urgency. But as you allow your soul to just gently guide you, that breath then start- that pause becomes bigger. It becomes easier, and the mind just drifts- Hmm. Hmm ... because there's new pathways that are gonna unfold. So it's about getting in the gap. It is about getting in the gap. Yep. That is such a profoundly spiritual message. When we can tease out the separation from our spiritual knowing, that I'm meant to be free from this, I'm meant to live with ease, I'm meant to be in love, I'm meant to be in, in the frequency of, of joy and, and ease, and then the human core wound of, but this is such an ingrained story, and it's been with me for so many decades- Mm-hmm and I'm so stuck in it. When we can tease that out and find our way into the gap, that's actually when things start to unfold naturally. Right. That's when, that's when we're given the guidance and the wisdom on how to heal the core wound, and it's also when we're given the, the miraculous shift in perception that the spiritual realm wants to provide us. Mm-hmm. And the other thing that I have felt for years as, as a, as a spiritual student is that the, that the prayer is, of course in miracles says a prayer- Oh, yeah ... is a medium for miracles. Mm-hmm. And so when we pray, we get into the gap because through prayer we can temporarily suspend those core beliefs that keep us so hooked into- Right the world, and we can return to the spiritual knowing that there is more. They're saying to me right now that you can live in embodiment, an embodiment of prayer, that, that all throughout the day you can give it over, give it over, give it over. Mm. And it's not giving up, it's giving it over, and in that giving it over you get into the gap, get into the gap. So this is really merging these two things right here. Right. So, so your guides are saying that in that gap- The resolutions are developed They, they, it un- all unfolds It unfolds It unfolds. Because what we're trying to do is we're trying to find the solution to the surrendering. Yes What's gonna happen? How's it gonna happen? W- how is it all gonna be? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da. So good, yeah. Mm-hmm Right? We're trying to find the next step, but sometimes we don't know the next step. And what we have to do is we have to have the breath, because the soul already knows. The soul already trusts. The soul is almost like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." And I'm like, "Really, can't you just tell us what's going on?" Mm. And the mind just needs to know, and while we're figuring this out, there's just that pause. And then w- that, that's where the f- that's where everything can grow. That's where the beauty lies. And when we allow the mind to stop racing, forcing, you know, controlling, then we can now surrender. And just as Lisa here, I, I, I remember having a moment of being in the darkest place of my life. The darkest place. And they're taking me to remembering this, and I remember sitting on this beach in Thailand and actually saying, "What am I going to do now?" And people are gonna think I'm absolutely batshit crazy right now, but I, I had this thing that come out of the sky, and it looked like... I wrote it down And I've, I have it tattooed on me. And it was in Sanskrit, "Surrender to the divine." Yes. And that's all it is. And it, that divine is not necessarily something you have to worship. The divine is self. Yes, that's right. The divine is self, and it's, it's knowing that breath, it's trusting in that wisdom, and it's trusting in that intuitive space, and trusting in that breath. And that's where the power is. It's so cool how you're describing this right now. People that are watching, they've heard spiritual teachers say over and over and over again, "Spiritual surrender. Turn it over." Mm-hmm. "Let it go." And sometimes when someone says, "Let it go," you wanna be like, "you." Right? But that's because we are stuck in the practical- Mm-hmm of the how, the why, the what if- Yeah ... or what will happen. Yeah. But when we take away the how, the why, the when, the what if, and we just accept full acceptance that we don't have the answers- Right ... that, that our plan isn't the better plan, that the outcome that we think we need may not be the right outcome- Exactly then it makes it a lot easier to let ourselves off the hook and actually give it over. Correct. Yeah. Now, I'm gonna also add on to that. If y- if your next thought starts with a what, why, when, where, how, and who, stop. Yes. Because that's the brain wanting to understand it. Yep. But when we do that, and it is in that s- acceptance, what we can do then is if you s- get rid of those six questions, now what you're doing is you're going, "Okay" I got to accept. I got to let go. I got to pause. Because that's, I think that's the key here. Yeah. Yeah. And it is. It's what you said. It's that acceptance of that moment. And acceptance, it's, it's, it's a shift in perception, and that's that- Yeah ... that's what A Course in Miracles says is the miracle. The miracle is the shift in our perception. So if we have the perception that surrender and letting go is hard, I don't know how, what will happen, I will lose it all, that surrender means I'm giving up- Right ... that, that, that I don't know how, or I can't let go, or it's not safe to let go, all of that is keeping us stuck in the holding on. Mm-hmm. If we even just right now in this moment just decide that surrender isn't giving up, but it's just giving over, that our plans may not be the right plan, that the when and the how is kind of irrelevant- Yeah and that the more we let go, the more intuitive wisdom we receive, that type of shift, that this surrender idea is actually something that's softer, easier, more gentle- Mm-hmm ... and lets me off the hook. Exactly. If you can accept that right now, people, that miraculous shift inside of you actually opens the door for the possibility of true surrender. When we stop trying to force the outcome or the solution, what actually happens energetically? Well, energetically our body shifts. Yes. Everything shifts. Our energy shifts, our vibrations shift, our aura shifts, our chakra shifts. Everything shifts. And have you... You've... We've all had it where people have said, "Hey, you look different," or, "You feel different," or, "What's going on with you?" And it's just because you have just- I felt that about you today ... let go. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I felt that about you as well. Definitely. We're both in very different places- Yeah ... than when we were last together ... very different places. Yeah, yeah. And that we've just let go. Yeah. And I think when you can let go, you're allowing s- spirit to guide you. You're allowing this, this spirit... I often have spirit-led days. Yes. Let's talk about a spirit-led day. I love my spirit-led days. I literally will get up, and if I've got nothing planned, I'm like, "What does spirit want me to do? Oh, I'm going to, I'm gonna get coffee." I don't drink coffee. "I'm gonna go and get coffee. Oh, sure, I'm gonna go and get coffee." Before I know it, I'm talking to somebody at the coffee shop. Yeah. And they're like, "You needed to be there." Okay. I get in my car. "All right, where do you want me to go?" "I want you to go home." "Oh, well, that's boring. Okay, what do you want me to do?" "I want you to read this book." Suddenly I see this passage. I love my spirit-led days. I touch so many different people. I get so many pearls of wisdom. It's taken me on so many different avenues. I really love this idea that we can live a spirit-led, led day every day. I have my daily design method where I wake up in the morning and I'll say, "Who would you have me be today?" What would you have me receive today? Mm. What would you have me give today? And design my day for me. I love that. Design my day. And that also lends us back to that beautiful affirmation from A Course in Miracles. Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom? And then I often add, what would you have me wear? Yeah. Oh, amazing. Yeah, what, what should I wear? What would you have me wear? But, but, but letting ourselves live a spirit-led day. Yeah. Waking up and saying, "Where do you want me to go?" Yeah. And I think that's being of service, you know? And that's real, true surrender. That's real, true surrender. Yeah. Try that out, everybody. I want you to take the next 24 hours, starting right now, actually. I'm not gonna let you wait. And just start asking Spirit, "Where would you have me go? What would you have me say?" Mm. "What would you have me do?" And show me what's up, show me where to go. Yeah. And just be in that throughout the day, every minute. Where would you have me go? I'm gonna do the rest of my day. Why not? I got a schedule, but within that schedule- Within the schedule ... I can do it. Yeah, you, we can all do it. We can do it within the schedule. But every day should be a spirit-led day. It should be. I mean, we still have to- It's a practice ... it is a practice. Yes. You know? And it is a practice, but I think even if you have confines, 'cause I can almost feel the resistance. There's the resistance of, "Oh, but I have to be a mom, I have to be a wife, I have to be a, a spouse, I have to be this, I have to be that." Well, y- but you're gonna have a moment to breathe. What is it, what do you need in that moment? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Because- There's the spirit-led ... when we don't ask that question and we don't invoke spirit to guide our day, we get in the way. Oh, all the time. We start playing God. We start controlling. We start pushing, manipulating, making things happen. Mm-hmm. Why is it that holding on to that core fear sometimes can feel safer than letting it go? Our brain is wired for safety. Our brain is wired to keep us safe on what we already know. Right. And so therefore, we are in that place, and yet we know it's wrong. There's an internal indicator that says, "This is wrong," but I can't move away from it. So in that breathing space of knowing, "Oh, I've just gotta breathe and I've gotta surrender," there, that's where the fear kicks in because the brain now doesn't go, "Ah, what's gonna, what am I gonna do?" Yeah. And- The brain wants something to do ... the brain wants something to do. And what I'm being told here is that you actually have to pause. You actually have to default and stop. So when you start getting yourself into the fear, and it reminds me of something that happened in my life, that when you get into that fear and you start in that panic, that sting, that moment, that real eesh, you have to just pivot. And if I may share something here, it's deeply personal, but I found out my husband was cheating at one point. Mm-hmm. And, and you met my husband. Mm-hmm. You know, he's a, he's a great guy. And when he told me- I went into that immediate fear. Like, "Oh, my God, what am I gonna do? Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da." So in that moment of me find- and it was with a best friend. Okay? With your best friend? With my best friend. Whoa. And it had happened before we'd got married, and I found out after I got married. Okay? So it was a very raw state, and she happened to be a bridesmaid at my wedding. Wow. So this is the ultimate betrayal, and I'm still with him. And, our marriage is the best that we've ever had. But in that moment of fear as those questions were rising, those thoughts were going, I was... And my mind was going, what, where, why, when, how, who, all of these things. Even though he'd shared everything. The one thing I turned to is every time that thought came, is I just went, "I can only imagine." And I just started to sing that song. And all it did was trigger me out- Mm ... of the actual what, where, why, when, how, who. Yep. The panic, the fear, the I'm not good enough, the self-sabotage, the everything. And, and I think I sang that song probably 100 times- Yep, yep ... in the first week. Yep. "I can only imagine." And I sat in the shower and I rocked and I cried and I sang it and sang it. And what it did is I realized how important it was to come back to my truth. Mm. And it was as I came back to my truth, I came back to his truth. And I came back to his love and I came back to my love and I came back to our space. Yeah. And that's what built our relationship. Yeah. And so the fear, the fear that we get trapped in is stories. We get trapped in old stories, old thoughts of shoulda, woulda, coulda, need to. And reality is, is we don't need to do anything. Mm-hmm. We have to just be. What you shared, first of all, thank you share, for sharing- Yeah ... such a vulnerable, authentic story that we, I know will help a lot of people listening. Mm. What I wanna offer everyone now to just take from your experience is what is your song? What is your prayer? What is your offering up? It could be a mantra. Mm-hmm. It could be, "Take this from me," a prayer- Yeah ... just, "Thank you, God, for taking this from me. Thank you, Spirit, for taking this from me and showing me where to go and what to do." Yeah. It could be a lyric from a song. It could be... For, for me, I often just really keep it simple, and I'm like, "Help." Yeah. "Help me." I have had many moments in my life where I've just out loud said, "Help me." Yesterday I had one. Mm. You know, hitting a bottom. I hit a bottom yesterday with this old pattern and an old belief system, where it not only was affecting me, but it started affecting other people. Right. And in, in harmful ways. And I took care of my side of the street right away, and then I was just in shame all day. Mm. And all I could do is just keep saying, "Help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me, help me." And what happened ultimately was that I started to feel a little lighter, and then I'd feel like I was cooking dinner, and it would come back in, and I'd replay the whole scene of what happened. And I'd say, "Help me." And then it'd come back in the middle of the night when I woke up at 3:00 in the morning, replaying the scene of how shamed I was- Mm ... of my behavior. "Help me." And the more I stayed in it, the more that that self-forgiveness started to set in- Yeah ... the more that I didn't get overwhelmed and overcome, the more that I didn't start trying to fix it. Mm-hmm. Right? Like, you, we get into, like, let me, let me just make it even more messy. Yeah. I just stayed in the "Help me." And so I wanna offer that to everyone listening as you open up to your own practice of letting go. What is your prayer? Yeah. Is it a song like what Lisa so beautifully shared? Is it a lyric that you sing? Is it a just simple, "Help me," offering it up, "Take this from me. Show me where to go and what to do"? I love that message from A Course in Miracles: "Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say, and to whom?" Or just, "Show me what miracles I may perform today." Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just giving it over 'cause that prayer, that pause, that interrupt is what puts us in the gap. Completely, and we need that. And I think that that simple mantra of "Help me" because that is a mantra, and it gives us that moment to breathe- Mm-hmm ... because, and that pause. Mm-hmm. Because when we're asking for help, we can't hear anything else. And now a break to hear from our sponsors. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Okay, we talk about mental health on this show a lot. I've been very open with you about my own spiritual and emotional journey through healing trauma, and how if I didn't have the therapists that I've had over the years, I wouldn't have survived. And that's why I'm always so proud to talk about our sponsor, BetterHelp. BetterHelp's 2026 Stigma Report surveyed 2,000 Americans and revealed that 85% of Americans believe getting support is wise. Yet 74% say society discourages people from doing so. And this is time to really move that gap, guys. Mental health is a serious condition, and it's something that we have to take care of. BetterHelp is working to close the gap by removing the friction of finding help. With over 30,000 therapists, it's the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over six million people globally, and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars, and it's based on this 1.7 million client reviews. All of their therapists are fully licensed in the United States, and they are under a strict code of conduct. And this is a time to get matched with a therapist, make that commitment, give yourself this experience of ease. It's so easy to get matched, and they will take care of you from start to finish. So please don't let the stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/deargabby. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P, .com/deargabby. We've all had those mornings when the closet is so packed and the clothes feel like you can't find them, or you're like, "What the hell am I wearing today?" Well, this podcast is sponsored by Daily Look, and this is the number one highest-rated premium personal styling service for women. And with Daily Look, you get your own dedicated personal stylist to curate a box of clothes based on your body shape, preferences, and lifestyle. It's not an algorithm. This is a real personal stylist, and you get the same stylist every single time. And listeners of my show can head to dailylook.com and use code GABBY for 50% off your first order. That's 50% off with my code GABBY. And with Daily Look, you can try up to 12 premium pieces per box in the comfort of your home, saving you time and effort. So whether you need something effortlessly chic for a day at the office or you want to upgrade from last year's stretched-out sweaters, Daily Look has got you covered. And I just used this service recently when I was preparing to go on my trip to London and Portugal. I didn't really know what to wear. I wanted some new sets. OMG, guys, they delivered. They delivered. This is such an easy done-for-you experience. It's streamlined. It's just great wardrobe. It's so wonderful. It's time to get your own personal stylist with Daily Look. Head to dailylook.com to take your style quiz and use code GABBY for 50% off your first order. Once again, that's dailylook.com for 50% off. You make sure you use my promo code GABBY so they know that I sent you. One last time, dailylook.com, promo code GABBY. All right, the funniest thing happened this morning. I had a big box in the mail from my regular subscription to AG1, and my seven-year-old son comes into the room and he goes, "AG1. We love AG1." And he's laughing at me. I'm like, "Ollie, what-- You don't even know what this is. What is it?" And he goes, "AG1. It's gives you hydration and vitamins, and it's the shake that you drink in the morning." And I'm like, "Dude, you're paying attention." My little boy is like an AG1 pro, and that is what we're talking about, right? We're talking about teaching our kids young. And I used to take all these kinds of supplements and mix up creatine powders and completely separate different things and never know what I was getting, and that's why I'm obsessed with AG1 Pro. It's completely streamlining everything in one place for one simple habit, combining the massive foundational layout of AG1 Next Gen with five grams of premium ultra-pure German-made creatine, creativels, creatine monohydrate, and CAHMB, and zinc carnosine. This is something that you're gonna want because it's all in one place. You just stir this little travel pack into 10, 12 ounces of water, and you just drink it on empty stomach, and it's exactly what you need. It tastes like sweet vanilla or pineapple, and it's beautifully made because it's gonna give you the exact energy that you want to get through your day and to fulfill your routine. So visit drinkag1.com/gabby to get free AG1 Pro Yeti Shaker and your AG1 Pro Welcome Kit. That's drinkag1.com/gabby. Louise Hay is here now I saw And she... Did you feel her too? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So Louise is here, and she's saying, "Well, this is what I've been talking about, guys." Yeah. You know, sh- Louise is the queen of affirmation. Of course. And her affirmations w- this is the thing she really wants me to say. So she's saying, "My affirmations were not to override the real experience. My affirmations were to create the pause to put you in the gap." Mm-hmm. "And to give you the shi- the necessary attunement and, and, and attitudinal shift to open up your consciousness to feel spiritual intervention." Mm-hmm. And she's super loud and clear. So she's not... So, so when you use affirmation, this is Louise, when you use affirmations, it's not about overriding your belief. It's not about canceling out your, your experience. It's not about just replacing it with another story. It's about feeling a new vibration. Completely. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I love that she came in. Uh, and I think that when we're, when we're feeling that vibration, I want people to also realize that that can also be scary, too. Yes. That can be scary because it's the unknown. Now you're like, "Oh, I'm feeling something. What is that?" And again, that is the moment that you breathe and you let that be, whether we call it surrender, but you've gotta let that be. You have to let it be. That's right. Yeah. You have to say the affirmation, say the prayer, repeat the mantra, sing the lyric, and then let it be. Mm-hmm. Then let it be. If you're the one in your life holding everything together for everybody else, what does Spirit want us to know? You're doing an amazing job Yeah You're doing an amazing job, and that you can fall onto spirit. You can fall onto your ancestors. You can fall onto the wisdom, and that little voice in your head is not you going crazy, it's the voice of them talking to you. And that you don't have to f- how- hold it so perfectly. It's allowed to fall, and you can have a moment of tears, softness, surrender, crying, napping, whatever you want to do, but you're doing the beautiful job. And I wanna say thank you so- So beautiful I know. I've had it- Also, there's, there's this message too of, of, uh, other people have guides too. Mm-hmm. So if you're holding it together for everybody else, just ask their guides to help out. I can't tell you how many times I've done that in an argument. "Can, hey, can you, can you..." Yeah. "Step in here. Step in here." I keep hearing the serenity prayer. Oh, yeah. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." God, did Bill Wilson channel some great stuff there. I mean- Unbelievable ... and you've channeled Bill. I have. Yeah. I have. Yeah. And that's actually one of the reasons why I'm sober now. Yes. It was all because of you. Yes. You know? And there I... May I share the story? It was really interesting because, uh, I was telling you about the, what I was doing, and I'd got a glass of wine, and you actually said, "How's that going for you?" And you looked at my glass of wine, and I went, "Huh." And I realized then that I, and I, it was just, it was just not serving me, and that was the last time I had a glass of wine, and I was sitting in your company. And, and now I've been sober three and a half years, which is... And it really, every time I to- tell the story, your name comes up, and it is the most, it's the thing that's changed my life, and it's allowed me to surrender even more into life. Yeah. And realizing that life is actually happening for me, and it's not against me. Beautiful. And it's remarkable, so thank you. Yeah. Thank you for, for your courage- Yeah. Thank you ... to do that as, as the leader that you're here to be. Yeah. You, you know, it's funny. I think that the, that one of my purposes in this lifetime is to definitely help people get sober. Mm. But, but also real thought leaders and, and people that are here for high, high purpose. M- my friend Elena Brower is another example. I- it's a very similar conversation I have with her. Yeah. I said, "If you're getting high, how can you be in service of the light?" Right. And she's been sober ever since that day. Yeah. I love that. And so it's, it's sometimes just having that, that, that question- Mm-hmm ... that curiosity of, "Is this, is this for me?" Yeah. And so that's a perfect example of surrender, right? It was a moment where you witnessed- Mm-hmm ... this thing, it's not at my highest and best. Right. And you made a choice. Yeah. So surrender requires choice. It, it, it does. Sure. I, I do believe that no one would be watching this conversation right now if they weren't already in the inquiry and the curiosity- Yeah ... of that choice. I agree, and I think choice is very important because what it does is it gives that person the autonomy to decide- Yeah of what suits me, what... Not because I'm being told by society or social media or my friends. What is it for me? And then when they can go into that, then they're gonna find their calling. That's what I was just being shown, is that it's all about their calling. And if we wanna go back to Bill Wilson, there is that depth of calling for him. You know, when I channeled him, we can go into that moment where he had that true calling and when I sat at that that table in Stepping Stones and I channeled his energy and the big book and the 12 steps he was really being called of service. Yes. And that's what it was, you know? Can we talk to Bill today? I wonder if he wants to come through- Oh my gosh- ... because I'm feeling him ... I would love to. I feel him. So right now as I'm writing this new book, it's called Unshakeable Faith, and it's gonna be, um... It's not, it's not about addiction, but it's about spiritual surrender and- Mm-hmm ... spiritual trust. Mm-hmm. But it's l- feeling to me like it has the capacity to be, and it will be, a spiritual 12-step guide- Yeah in a sense. Yeah. And not, not hearkening to the 12 steps, but that, that type of impact- Mm-hmm ... I believe. And I feel Bill's presence coming through me. And next to my desk I have this stack of these little books, and there's As Bill Sees It, there's The Big Book, there's The 12 Steps, there's all these different guides, like those, um... You know how people have written all those guides that are, uh, just for today- Yeah ... kind of messages? Yeah. Uh, they're all, like, Hazelden books. Yeah. They're all next to my desk where I'm writing, and these are books that I, that I picked up when I was in my early 20s. I had a very dear friend in, in AA- Mm-hmm who was a, uh, very powerful young woman who was sober. She got sober at 19. She was in her early 20s. She was one of the women that really made me wanna be clean- Mm-hmm ... and sober. Yeah. And her name was Lauren. And about a few years into knowing Lauren, she actually died. Yeah. She had a heart, a heart condition, and she, she died running. And I was able to go into her apartment and, uh, after her family had been there, and take her books, so take whatever I wanted really, like- Wow ... like, like what would be serving. And I took hundreds of books out of her apartment, and gave a lot of them away actually. But I also have them all next to my desk. They're just right there. Mm-hmm. And so as I'm writing this, I feel like Lauren's there, I feel like Bill's there. Yeah. Bill's been top of mind. I, I want w- w- uh, who better to talk about surrender with today? I know. Let's welcome Bill Wilson. If you're new to this, um, if you're not familiar with the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, Bill Wilson was one of the s- really the scribe. Yeah. You know? He- Yeah ... he was a human who made the commitment to get sober, but he was one of the, one of the thought, the, the, the channels that received- Mm-hmm ... the messages of the 12 steps. And what was interesting about Bill, he's, he was devout spiritualist. Yes. And he, he used to table tip, and he had his own little seance room, and he loved spirituality, and this is what he really enjoyed. And one of the things about Bill as you were talking, uh, he reminded me... And I have this, I have a m- if I... In, in actually one of my books I've actually written a, a message from Bill which I'll happily share with everybody. And he talked about how there was going to be another step or more steps, and it was spiritual steps. Oh, boy. And as you were talk- Holy shit. No, seriously. As you were talking, I could hear him saying, "There's my 12 steps." And I'm like, "So Gabby, I want you to know that this is, this is-" And I'm not blowing smoke. You know I wouldn't, but this is, this is him coming forward with absolute- Yeah. Yeah ... prayer and reverence here. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because this is an about enlightenment, okay? And if I, uh, as I feel him coming in, this is about enlightenment. This is about wisdom. You all ha- this is not a, this is wisdom that has already been taught, but it now needs to be reframed in a very different way that people get it for more younger people. You got it. Because- You're nailing it. Yeah ... this is not just about... Oh, I've got chills. This is not just about, um, alcohol anymore. Yes, exactly. This is about TV. This is about sex. This is about, um, social media. This is about shopping. This is about everything. Yeah. Because the, we are now in an addictive society in order to s- to escape, but now it needs to become more relevant. Yes. And he's just said, "I'm old." Mm. "I resonate for the older generation." Mm-hmm. "There now needs to be a younger generation that can resonate, and, and it also needs to be in a feminine power, too." Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And this is, this is where it serves humanity. That's right. And it's, it's, um, it's called Unshakeable Faith: 11 Steps to Spiritual Trust, and I don't know if that's the exact subtitle yet, but the steps are not specific to addiction, though they can- Mm. Mm-hmm ... be the antidote to addiction, but they're the spirit- there's 11 steps to creating your own spiritual foundation- Yeah ... and faith and trust in the universe. Yeah. And the thing is, they're very simple. And they're very practical, and they're, they're, th- and they're absolutely channeled because I'm actually living them. Mm-hmm. So each, each step is being given to me as I live life, so I'm on step five now, and they just keep, keep being presented to me as I live, because they're also healing me as I write them. Right. Yeah. And it feels, there's a part of me that feels, um, a little bit like, "Who the are you to say that you're gonna write the next 12 steps?" But then there's that, then I hear him being like, "Just, just own it." Right. And why aren't you? Yeah, yeah, like why not? And this is why I actually- Yeah ... feel him here, and I- It's not about me ... I have channeled Bill many times. I work with one of, a really big historian of AA, and I've channeled Bill on so many occasions. Bill, Lois, I've channeled them all. And I feel him, and the thing is, is going back to what you said, how simple these steps are, people want to overcomplicate things. Yeah. And so they think it has to be hard if they're not doing it. But reality is, is it is so simple, and we just wanna overcomplicate. And it goes back to the mind again in that surrender. When we actually separate it, we've got that pause and that breath, and that is how simple it can be. That's exactly right, because when we have a trust and a simple path that feels not even e- yes, effortless, but just, like, directed. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Like, okay, I can do one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. You know, it's just like ba, ba, ba, ba. And that it's guided. That's the way. Because when we talk about surrender, one of the biggest things that people get hung up on is when someone says, "Oh, let it go," you don't know how. Right. W- when Bill showed us through the 12 steps as addicts who couldn't release an addiction, here are the 12 steps, it healed millions and millions and millions of people- Right throughout the world, myself included 20 years later. And continues to do it. And continues to have that ripple effect. Mm-hmm. And then the thing that I'd been saying for 20 years of sobriety is, "Wow, I really wish there was a 12 step for people who deni- don't identify as addicts, people who don't qualify for being in those rooms," right? Right. The only qualification is a desire to stop drinking or using your substance of choice. But not everybody has that desire or thinks that that's the problem, but they still have problems. And now a break to hear from our sponsors. You guys know I'm a cat mom. I am constantly bragging about my kitty Jimmy Blue and Lily, and they're my, they're my babies. They're like my little fur babies. And I didn't really know at first how to feed my cats. It'd been a... Like, I just didn't know what to do. I was like, "You just give them dry food. You don't know what to..." You know, I kind of realized later that I was, like, kind of feeding them, like, the Dorito version of cat food. It wasn't cool. And that is exactly what led me to completely change how I wanted to really take care of my cats' nutrition. And Smalls fresh cat food is protein-packed recipes made with preservative-free, 100% human-grade ingredients, and you find this in your fridge. It's delivered right to your door. Now, since switching to Smalls, I've noticed that my cats don't throw up anymore. Their fur is so shiny. They just have more energy. They're not, they're not looking as chunky as they used to. They were a little chunky for a minute. And the benefits go far beyond the litter box. Cats use protein as their main energy source, and this high protein is so important for them. And so stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts, please. For a limited time, because you are a Dear Gabby listener, get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/gabby. That's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/gabby This episode of Dear Gabby is brought to you by Alloy Health. Dealing with menopause alone? It's not just you, my friend. Almost 50% of women wait three or more years before seeking relief from menopause symptoms. That's years of hot flashes. It's the sleep, it's the brain fog, it's the mood swings. Thankfully, I got on it right away, but this is something that so many people wait on. They're like, "Why am I so angry all the time? Why can't I remember anything?" And some don't even know where to start, and that's the story that we're dealing with right now. Women so often expect to just silently tolerate sleepless nights, and fatigue, and all of the different things, and we look to caffeine to try to feel better. And all of a sudden we've got this brain fog and it makes things so much worse. I refuse to accept this as a standard for my body, and you shouldn't either. Alloy was built by women who dealt with all of it. It's an all-in-one platform that connects you with board-certified menopause specialist physicians and proven effective treatments. Care starts in hours, not weeks, and 95% of Alloy HRT customers feel symptom relief within the first two weeks. Whether it's a patch, pill, spray, or gel, your treatment comes in that format that works for you and your history. You simply complete a quick online intake form, match with a menopause specialist physician, and they're gonna review all of your personalized treatment plans and get you on HRT right away. There's no issues, no pharmacy hassle. Plus, there's unlimited messaging with your prescribing physician. It's all included. Join the 95% of women who tried Alloy and saw relief in the first two weeks. Head to myalloy.com and use the code Gabby. Your menopause specialized doctor will tailor your treatment to your exact needs. Plus, you get unlimited messaging with your doctor. Head to myalloy.com, M-Y-A-L-L-O-Y.com, and use code Gabby to get $20 off. So as we close the show, I wanna lead everyone through a meditation, and this is a meditation to hand over that thing that you're trying to control. But also, I'm gonna, I'm gonna tee you up for your spiritually led day. Let's do this together. So gently close your eyes And roll your shoulders back. Take a deep breath in and release. Relax your jaw Relax your stomach. Relax your face. Breathe in deeply And exhale completely. Take that thing that you've been trying to control Or that core belief that you wanna just let go of, or the addictive pattern that you're ready to finally release, or the relationship that's been holding you back. Whatever it is that is keeping you in the loop, keeping you stuck And that feeling and that belief that's top of mind, I want you to open your mind and your heart to release it today. We call on our guides and our angels of the highest truth and compassion to enter into this meditation now to create the space for us to get into the gap, that space between our human desire to control and our spiritual knowing that we are free Take that thing that you've been holding onto And offer it up with a prayer now Thank you Spirit for taking this from me For releasing me of the bondage of my past and the obsession with the future Bringing me into this present moment right here, right now In this blessed moment Where I have my breath and breathe and feel your breath breathing in deeply and exhale completely Recognizing that right here in this moment, there's nothing to do. There's nowhere to go There's nothing to fix There's no need to control Just breathe again into that space in your solar plexus, breathing into that space and let it go Again, relaxing your face and your jaw and your shoulders and your neck and your arms. Relax your torso, relax your stomach, your gut, your pelvis, your legs, your feet. Just let it all settle into this present moment right now. And just repeating to yourself silently, there's nowhere to go. There's nothing to do. There's nothing to fix In this moment, all is well All is well And let's extend this moment now by inviting spirit into the rest of your day. Each time you notice that fear arise or that control start to come up, just ask spirit to show you where to go and what to do Let yourself live a spirit-led day today Let this presence in this moment, this clarity and this serenity and this peace and this ease in this moment just be the energy that guides you throughout this day. Nowhere to go, nothing to fix, and nothing to do. Take one last deep breath in And release And smile Feel the relief of what it feels like to be in the gap, to let it go. When you're ready, open your eyes to the room Mm. Wow. They kept my eyes closed the whole time. Every time I'd open my eyes, they'd be like, "Ah, close your eyes again." That was nice. That was really good. Doing it for myself. Yeah. You know, right after this interview, I have this huge thing that's this big call, and something that I've been actually surrendering for years, 20 years. It's something I've been surrendering- Wow ... and here it is now. Like, it's... And it's so interesting to see what it's like to live in the surrender- Yeah ... of something when you, you know, that beautiful... I keep coming back to A Course in Miracles today, but that message of those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety. Right. So when you know and you have that wisdom and that certainty, you can really let go and trust. And it may be 20 years later that it happens. You might know that something's coming- Exactly but stay in that certainty and that knowing. Yeah. Lisa, what a great- Oh, my gosh ... conversation. That's amazing. We talked to Bill Wilson. We talked to Louise Hay. Louise Hay. I know. We talked to your guides, my guides. I mean, wow, guys. Amazing. This was so good. So if you're watching and you love Lisa as much as I do, definitely check out her book, Survival of the Soul and Divine Wisdom. I've got a link them in below the video, and they're gonna be in the description. And her intuitive oracle deck, her intuitive soul oracle deck, and these are beautiful cards. Thank you. They're all in the description. And as always, my gift to you, my friends, is a guided meditation practice. I want you to feel this energy. You can have my free spirit guides meditation. It's at the link in the description, or you can go to deargabby.com/spiritguides. I also wanna let my, my members know, uh, my Gabby Coaching members, that I'm gonna take the meditation from this, and I'm gonna put it in your app so that you can listen to it and practice it all the time. That meditation I just gave is now yours inside your app, and you can hand it over anytime you want, anytime you need it. If you're not a Gabby Coaching member and you want to have me as your coach in your pocket for a year, for, like, the cost of what one regular coaching session would be with one human, you can join me at deargabby.com/app. And I, I just love you guys. I'm proud of you. It's just amazing to be with you. I want you to stick around for the miracles. If you love this episode and you love my conversations with my beautiful friends and mediums, please subscribe to the channel so you never miss a show, and share this episode with a friend who needs to let something go. Maybe a friend that's struggling with addiction, maybe a friend that's holding on so tightly to something they just cannot release. Send it off to them. Share that with them today. And most importantly, I want you to remember that being here, watching this video all the way to the end, means that you are committed in this lifetime to showing up with a spiritual connection, to being part of the solution, and to being part of a very soulful community and family that we have here at Dear Guides. I love you so much. Have a blessed day If you liked this episode, then you're gonna love my video with Lisa on how to ride the momentum of this energetic shift in 2026. Check it out