How to Heal an Addiction

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My name is Gabby and I’m a recovering addict.

I hit bottom at age 25. At the time I was running a PR business in New York City, representing nightclubs and restaurants. I thought I had it all: the big career, the fancy clothes, access to the hottest clubs.

My life looked exciting, but I was falling apart

But no matter how exciting my life looked on the outside, on the inside I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. In retrospect I can see that I was having an existential crisis. I was looking for God in all the wrong places. This search for peace, safety and happiness became addictive. I was addicted to work, love, drugs, food, you name it. My addictive behavior took over my life and in time I had a severe drug problem, workaholism and debilitating codependency.

My spiritual surrender

I intuitively knew there was much, much more, but I struggled to clean up my act. Then on October 2, 2005, I prayed for a solution. I said, “God, Universe, whoever is out there, I need a miracle.” I woke up that morning and I heard an inner voice say, “Get clean and you’ll live a life beyond your wildest dreams.” Thankfully, that day I was willing to hear this inner voice. Thankfully, I listened. Since that day, I’ve been sober — and on a steadfast journey inward.

Helping others live a miraculous life

My sobriety and spiritual practice has become the most important part of my life, and I am committed to growing my faith each day. I owe all of my career, love, health, happiness and success to my sober recovery. My prophecy is true. I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams.

Today I am a motivational speaker and self-help book author, committed to guiding people through their spiritual bottom back to the light and magnificence within. Throughout my career I have heard countless stories from people who have gotten sober with the help of my personal story, which I tell in my book Spirit Junkie. I am deeply moved by these people and their commitment to stay clean and embrace the miracle of recovery.

Just last week I got an Instagram message from a 19-year-old woman who said she was trying to get clean and wanted my advice. I emailed her instantly. I heard her call and I carried the message to another addict in need. I shared my experience and offered guidance. In the midst of our back-and-forth emails, I realized it was time for me to share even more about my recovery. It was time for me to blog about it, to share my steps to recovery from addiction.

These steps are for any type of addiction

So here we are. In this blog I will outline the steps I have taken to live a life of sobriety. These tools are not just for alcoholics or drug addicts. These steps are for everyone. I believe that we all suffer from addiction in our own unique ways. Maybe you’re addicted to social media, or food, or love, or maybe you’re simply addicted to fear. It doesn’t matter how addiction plays a role in your life. What matters is that you learn there is a way out of the cycle.

How to break an addiction

Step 1: You gotta want it

Your willingness is crucial in getting sober. When you become willing to choose to get clean, you open an invisible door and all the resources you need will be given to you. Your willingness opens that door. If you’re reading this blog right now, then you have the slightest willingness to know more. Continue to strengthen this willingness daily by reciting this affirmation: “I am willing to change and I welcome guidance and support.” This simple statement will put your recovery in motion.

Step 2: Turn inward

Addiction stems from searching outside yourself for what you already have within yourself. That’s the sneaky thing about it. You can look far and wide for happiness, but as long as you’re looking outside rather than toward your own inner wisdom you’ll always fall short.

The key to recovering from addiction is to establish a deep inner awareness. You can call this intuition, a connection to the Universe, spirit, higher power or even God. It doesn’t matter what you call it. All that matters is that you choose to turn inward. The way we do that is through prayer and meditation. Through prayer we ask for guidance and through meditation we can hear it. Redirecting our search for peace from the outside in is the most crucial step to getting sober and staying on a path.

If the concept of prayer is bugging you out, don’t sweat it.

Prayer is the beginning of the most powerful conversation you’ll ever have. Tweet it!

When we say a prayer we’re setting an intention to turn inward for guidance. We’re surrendering our own ideas and welcoming wisdom from within.

The response to our prayers can come to us through meditation. In stillness we receive the guidance we’re longing for. If you’re new to meditation and eager to begin a practice, check out my Beginner’s Guide to Meditation.

You can also check out this video, in which I teach the Kundalini meditation for healing addiction.

Humbly surrender to a daily conversation with your intuition, and in time your inner wisdom will speak louder than your addiction.

Step 3: Find spiritual running buddies

Whenever I counsel folks who are newly sober, they complain that they have to let go of their old friendships and can no longer hang out in the same places. They’re not wrong. In the 12-step community it is often said, “If you don’t want to get a haircut, don’t hang out in the barbershop.”

People and places play a major role in your sustainable recovery. As you make spiritual shifts in your life, your energy will change. Your new, light, elevated energy may no longer be a match for the folks you used to hang with. That’s okay. You’re not better than them. You just chose to wake up.

Throughout my recovery I’ve made it a practice to cultivate strong, inspirational spiritual running buddies. Whether these folks are sober or not doesn’t matter to me. What matters is that they live in alignment with my spiritual and sober beliefs.

The way to create these friendships is to hang where the happy people are. Go to more yoga classes, hang out in juice bars, check out recovery meetings. Be around people on a spiritual path and in time you will create a power posse of spiritual running buddies.

What does it mean to live a life of sobriety?

One of my dearest spiritual running buddies is my best friend, Elisa Hallerman. My sober sister Elisa has been in recovery for well over a decade. She is a drug and alcohol counselor with a PhD in psychoanalysis and somatic studies. Today she runs a service called Recovery Management Agency, offering support to families and individuals seeking all types of guidance through their sober recovery.

In this video Elisa and I sit down and riff on what it means to be an addict and how to live a life of sobriety. Watch here.

Recovery 2.0 spiritual community

Another spiritual community that I LOVE is Recovery 2.0 run by my friend Tommy Rosen. Recovery2.0 is an incredible brand offering the world a life beyond addiction. Tommy is so committed to spreading these tools that he’s offering a free program in which you can watch interviews with leading experts in the recovery field, including a heartfelt interview with me!

Check out this clip from Tommy’s interview with me about my sober recovery.

Finally, there is an awesome social networking site called This site rocks. They offer beautiful guidance, blogs and a safe spiritual space for sober people to connect online.

Step 4: When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more

when i think i've surrendered i surrender more | gabby bernstein card deckWhen people ask me how I’ve stayed sober for nearly 10, years my response is: Daily surrender. On October 2, 2005, I surrendered to a life of recovery. I’ve been surrendering every day since. As you practice step two and establish a spiritual relationship of your own understanding, you’ll come to know what it truly means to surrender your will to a power greater than yourself. This practice requires faith and trust that there is a spiritual plan for you and guidance working on your behalf at all times.

If you’re new to recovery you may be thinking, “WTF is this girl talking about? A power greater than me?!” That’s all good. This was my reaction when I first got clean. But trust me when I say that your spiritual faith will be your greatest tool for maintaining and sustaining a life of recovery. You don’t need to know how or when you’ll gain this faith. It will be bestowed upon you as long as you stay in constant dialogue with your inner wisdom.

The way I stay surrendered on a daily basis is through prayer. One prayer in particular has helped me stay humble and receptive. I recommend that you say it on a daily basis to remain willing to surrender to a power greater than yourself. This prayer is recited at the end of every 12-step meeting:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

These four tools are among many spiritual solutions on the path towards addiction recovery. I suggest you “keep it simple” and start here. To further guide you on your journey I’ve outlined a list of resources that will help you every step of the way. Finally, I welcome you to leave comments below and ask me anything about addiction. I’ve invited my friends Elisa and Tommy to show up on the blog this week too! So post anything here. I want this blog to be a safe space for people to reach out for help and receive the guidance that they need.

Resources for getting sober

gabby bernstein relaxing with a mug of teaIf you’re looking for a book on a spiritual path to addiction recovery check out Spirit Junkie: A Radical Road to Self-Love and Miracles. This is my memoir and a guidebook that I’m proud to say has helped many people get sober. Grab a copy here.

Check out some of my other blogs on healing addiction: The 5 Spiritual Tools I Use in My Sober Recovery, How to Get Sober and Change Your Life and How to Trust in the Healing Path.

Elisa Hallerman of Recovery Management Agency is your go-to resource for families or individuals seeking guidance on their recovery path. is a beautiful social networking community for people in recovery.

If you’re interested in learning more about the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, Google AA alongside the name of your city, town or county. Listings will come up and all meetings will welcome you.

If you’re not sure you’re an addict and need further guidance, check out the book Living Sober.

If you’re struggling with feeling healthy, embracing your body or feeling at home in your own skin, enjoy my Body Love guided meditation.

Another beautiful book on recovery is by my friend Noah Levine. Check out Refuge Recovery: A Buddhist Path to Recovering from Addiction.

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  1. Hi, dear Gabby, thank you for your work. I’d need your advice, help. I found this post through Dear Gabby (how to break bad habit). I’m food addict. Sugar, bread, chocolate, chips … I was doing your Manifesting Challenge in January 2021 (one of the things I desire to manifest it was breaking the food addiction/binge eating …) and now I’m a member of Miracle Membership (I know this is a miracle and I’m so appreciative). First I was doing really great, but lately my eating and binging is getting worse and worse – I’m thinking (as I see, feel) only on food. MY love life is suffering, I’m hiding some food or eat it, when my boyfriend doesn’t see me or when he is at work. My work is suffering, I should work on some topics, but I don’t … Even in the evening in the bed, I’m thinking how I’ll go in the morning to grab some sweets or bagels in the shop after my morning hike. So these days I even don’t wake up in joy and “I’m afraid” to go to the morning hike or to the mountains, because after that I stop at the shop and buy those “things” and eat them (some already in the car, some then at home) … It seems as I don’t want to get sober, that I just want this taste so much … My highest self, my bet self is like on mute, trying nothing to stop me … How to “wake up” my highest self to protect me/ stop me from doing this? I also was trying to surrender and then surrender some more, but I maybe don’t know how exactly to do that? With love, Z.

    1. Thank you for your honest share, Zdenka. I encourage you to visit the content from the following Miracle Months:
      – November 2019- I love my food and my food loves me
      – November 2018- I love my body. I am free.
      – November 2017- I have a healthy relationship with my body
      – November 2015- I am not a body, I am free

      You may also want to check out these blog posts:
      – How I Healed My Food Addiction
      – How to Eat More Slowly and Mindfully
      – 5 Tips to Quit Sugar the Spirit Junkie Way
      – How to End Sugar Cravings with EFT
      – What It’s Like to Be 1 Year Off Sugar!
      – How I Stayed Off Sugar for the Past 2 Years


      1. Dear Gabby,

        thank you so much.
        I’m grateful, that I’m in MM.
        I just have overflow of emotions, I’ll go through the articles.


  2. I’m glad that you are open with your story. I grew up with a friend, a best friend for a time, she kind of looks like you. Very beautiful, an only child. For her, she had a clean home, jewelry, clothes, but at twelve she was dating boys who were much older. Not really dating, more hanging out with. Then drugs and alcohol, and I would say the wrong crowd. Risky behavior. I don’t speak with her now because she is far away, but I think she turned her life around. I can’t say that she was ever abused. I just thought I’d share that. I can’t seem to know what I need. I tried Al-anon, and don’t seem to care for it. I don’t consider myself an alcoholic, although I do have addictive tendencies. I do like AA, because it seems more open and honest and happy also because folks are there healing themselves. But have struggled because I feel like I don’t fit the criteria. N/A maybe. I will look more into EMDR. I have tried a little of that. Thank you so, so much. I get a lot out of your teachings and knowledge. Sharon

    1. Sending you so much love on your healing journey Sharon. I’m sorry you’re struggling with addictive tendencies. Have you read my book Spirit Junkie? If not, I definitely recommend checking it out. This book has been an inspiration for so many people’s sobriety. Check out the website It’s a great place for online addiction support.

      These resources may also serve you: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
      Main hotline: 1-800-662-HELP
      Confidential, free, available 24/7/365 in English & Spanish

      This helpline is for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.

      Main website:

      Find alcohol, drug, or mental health treatment facilities and programs around the U.S. at (confidential & anonymous)

      You are in my prayers and I know that you can find peace and happiness. All you need is the slightest willingness to open the door to recovery. xxoo

  3. I became sober on May 11. It is been a really beautiful decision for me. I however just met someone that I think could be somebody special. So many people with an AA advise against starting a relationship before the first year. I have also met people however that did not discourage. He is not sober. I am just feeling kind of conflicted. It is still new and anything can happen. I guess I just want a little advice. Thank you so so much for your words

    1. Congratulations on getting sober, my friend. This is a really important and precious time in your life. Ultimately our decisions are up to each of us individually, so I’ll just share that one powerful lesson I learned in recovery is that we must put our sobriety before everything else. We must put our health and well-being first. Ask yourself what best serves you right now. Connect with your higher power and ask for guidance. Surrender to that guidance and be open to receiving it. It may not be what you want, or look the way you expected, but it will be what you need. And when you’re not sure what to do, call your sponsor or go to a meeting. Talk openly. It’s a space where you can be honest and vulnerable with folks who understand. Sending you a lot of love, a lot of light.

  4. Dear Gabby, I’m recovering from addiction from alcohol. Sometimes it’s normal, I don’t have a permanent need to drink. Can drink a glass of wine and to forget about it fir weeks. Just want to drink when it’s really harsh. When I cannot really suffer that pain. When I found out your blog (what a miracle) I couldn’t find out this amazing stuff I found. Do you provide personal consultations and would could you suggest? Besides, I am from Lithuania and I could offer your book Spiritual Juncie. I really want to heal!!! Warm love, Lina

    1. Hi Lina. Have you ever considered going to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting? AA has saved many lives. I suggest Googling AA in your area and checking out a meeting. This practice has saved so many lives. Also, check out the website It’s a great place for online addiction support. Showing up here is a beautiful and brave sign that you are open to healing. Sending you lots of love. XOX

  5. I am the spouse of a recovering drug addict. He went to rehab and as been clean for 5 months.
    He turned to drugs because that was one of the things that would give him the escape he needed from himself and the problems from his past that were never dealt with. Physical, emotional & sexual abuse.
    What I didn’t realize was there was another addiction. He was also a sex addict. Previous behaviours were blamed on the effects of cocaine but drugs wasn’t the total cause.
    Now that he’s in recovery, he doesn’t use drugs as an escape when he can’t deal with something stressful. It’s the high he gets for a brief period from chatting online with women, sexting etc… that he seeks now. He will still say that he has not physically cheated on me. But right now I don’t know what’s true and what’s lies.
    He is still seeing a therapist but hasn’t been completely truthful about his other problems.
    I’m to my limit. I cannot bear anymore hurt. Recently I found out he had not stopped this behavior. He realizes what he’s doing and why but so ashamed of everything.
    He is willing to work harder with the therapist to deal with past issues and his self hatred so he can start living a happier life.
    I am willing to stay and help him through this if he is sincere.
    My problem is how do you even start to heal from all the hurt? How do you start the process of trusting again? What should I expect of him?
    I am reading Judgement DEtox and trying to change how I deal with things.
    Any advice would b greatly appreciated.

    1. First, I want to honor you for reading Judgment Detox and doing the deep work it asks. I honor you for being willing to see another person in his light even when there is so much darkness. And I want to remind you that you can love someone and honor their path but not stay with them if that is not right for you. If this relationship is not serving you, if it’s hurting you, then you must ask yourself whether you truly want to be in it. It’s very important for you to know that you cannot fix your husband. No matter how supportive and loving you are. That is his work. We can love others and support them but if we try to change them we are actually hurting them. I go deep into this in the final step of Judgment Detox, forgiveness. We can forgive others and see them in their light but recognize that we must step away. This is a decision you must make for yourself, but you don’t have to do it on your own. You can seek guidance from a therapist. I am a believer in therapy and I recommend it. If you have a spiritual practice you can ask for guidance from the Universe or your spirit guides. I honor you for holding him with so much love and light, but I encourage you to think about your personal boundaries and to begin to support yourself as much as you support others.

  6. Hi Gabby,

    I have been in recovery for almost 2 years now. I found your book The Universe Has Your Back online and so far so am LOVING it!! I was wondering if you attend AA meetings, have a sponsor, etc. I have been working a 12 step program throughout my sobriety but am wanting to focus more on my own spiritual path such as my meditation and prayer, practicing yoga, reading, etc. rather than doing AA book studies, attending meetings, etc. Just wondering what your thoughts were!

    1. First I want to honor you for your 2 years of sobriety and for seeking a spiritual relationship and practice. Each person’s path is different, so find what works for you. I am a believer in 12-step programs and support systems. AA emphasizes finding a spiritual relationship of your own understanding, so the work you are doing will serve you greatly. You can do these spiritual practices in addition to attending meetings. Ultimately your recovery is your choice. Be very intentional about whatever you choose to do and make sure you have a strong support system. Xoxo

  7. I was reminded of that serenity prayer a couple days ago. heard it so often. but never felt it quite like i have recently. it’s one thing to hear a nice turn of phrase and appreciate its’ cleverness…. another thing entirely to apply it to your situation.

  8. Hi Gabby,

    Thank you for this… I have 17 years in recovery and so so many miracles… and yet this past year has been tough, even in the rooms I have been feeling very lonely.

    Working on a film about recovery that is beautiful and has also brought up even more to heal… noticing my food is off right now, suddenly.

    Not sure why I am feeling wobbly and out of place in recovery. My life has gotten much bigger and there is some kind of transition going on. I have not been feeling grounded and in my body lately… very overwhelmed, tried and alone.

    Thank you so much for being a light,


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  11. Gabby,
    Thanks for this. And congratulations on being 10 years sober! I have been struggling with my own addictions for about that length of time. I’ve been to rehab. I have been in and out of the rooms. I’ve put together a few months here and there. In the past year, though, I struggle to stay sober for more than a day or two. I haven’t found the spiritual running buddies in the rooms – I’ve encountered more judgment and fear-based guidance than real spiritual guidance. I just got your book May Cause Miracles and plan to start tomorrow. I will use some of the meditations on your site- thanks for those! I’m rambling, but here’s to today being my last “day 1”

  12. Gabby,
    I have been following you for a little over a couple of months now. I have been reading your 40 day course in miracles book. last year I surrender to get sober I was inpatient treatment for 4 1/2 months for addiction to alcohol. The judge still sentenced me to prison, I was released on Dec 9, 2014 with a GPS monitor on my ankle which I am getting off this Friday Oct 9, 2014. I still struggle at moments. Sobriety has given me so much like you have said, I don’t want to fear ever going back to that lifestyle. Your book has taught me to replace my fears with love, and daily I give it my best shot to surrender to love instead of fear and hate towards my addiction. Thank you I am very grateful I stumbled upon you. You are light when I feel I am in darkness again. Thank you Thank you.

  13. Hi Gabby! I saw your Instagram post today and want to congratulate you on 10 years of sobriety!
    I actually met you many times at Thought So shows over 5 years ago now. I never had any idea that you were in recovery. This post hit a chord with me today because my mother has struggled with addictions my entire life and refuses help/support. I’ve often questioned my own behaviors when out and truly value my inner voice or compass, if you will, that has always kept me on a positive path of growing.
    I hope that I can share these resources some day with my mother and will definitely hold them dear for myself.
    I’m so proud of how far you’ve grown and continue to.
    Love, Nikki

      1. Can you be sober though but have a glass of wine every six months or so? I have a wedding to attend and may want a glass of wine. If not what does one drink at weddings etc…. Thank you Gabby?

      2. Can you be sober though but have a glass of wine every six months or so? I have a wedding to attend and may want a glass of wine. If not what does one drink at weddings etc…. Thank you Gabby?

  14. Gabby,
    Thank you for your bravery on behalf of all of us, especially those of us suffering in silence. It lends so much hope and shines light on a topic many of us are too afraid to even broach. Even in our own minds. It makes me think of a line from ACIM, “Your journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it.” You are the light allowing us to see the way out (me, at least!).

    Here’s my question: How do we manage addiction when the medication that we take is our only option for managing our legitimate pain and the illness underlying it? Maybe I should specify. I have a genetic blood disorder that has some horrifying and horrendously painful symptoms. In addition, I suffer from neck, back, and hip pain. I am fortunate enough to be in the hands of a miracle worker (also known as my chiropractor!) for the past year. X-Rays revealed a VERY bad back, especially for my age (26). To put into perspective, there is Normal, Stage I, Stage II, and Stage III. I have been placed in the Stage II category.

    The only way to manage the genetic disease I mentioned is to stay away from known triggers. There are safe and unsafe drugs for the disease, and unfortunately the drugs that are known to be safe (as in not triggering an attack) are the “good stuff”?! lol

    I’m not quite sure if I “qualify” as being an addict. All I know is that the very nature of these drugs are addictive. I take them when I’m in pain, and only then. However, as we know, these drugs are addictive by nature, and when needed on a regular basis, lose their efficacy. When this began to happen, I noticed that my tolerance had increased and that I would suffer violent withdrawals if I ran out of my prescription a few days early from having to take one more than directed on a particular day for more-than-usual pain. Do that a couple days in a month, and it all adds up at the end!

    With all this said, I want to say: I feel a deep urge to figure this out and get off this exhausting ride, once and for all. I am just on the tail-end of a withdrawal, and got my prescription filled yesterday. I’m really proud of myself because I took less than was directed! And normally, when I wake up (when my pain is usually the highest), I have to grab my pill before I even get out of bed in order to get out of bed. Great way to start the day, huh?! ha! I am delighted to say that today, this has not been the case for the first time in months! I don’t even know how I woke up without pain?! Two miracles there! Only explanation I can fathom: I have been studying A Course in Miracles more fervently and urgently than ever before in this past week, and have been re-dedicated to creating miracles.

    I know that this a very complicated question, I just pray that you will know which direction I need to be guided towards. I don’t know exactly where I fall into this. I’m assuming there is a spectrum of addiction, and that some resources may make me feel more out of place than understood and supported.

    I appreciate this particular blog more than you know.

    Love and Miracles Your Way

  15. “I am willing to change”
    Then kept hanging on to the way things were. For years.
    “I am willing to change, why can’t I?”
    I kept on reading about anxiety and cognitive behaviour.
    “It’s supposed to be hard to change, but I just don’t know what to change to make my life better.”
    It became late fall, on its way to darkness except nearly the 8 hours I was indoors.
    “Well, this is pretty bad but if I can gather enough energy to get through the day AND figure out how to go see a therapist, the advantage of changing (rather than dying) is that there’s the option that things will get better rather than worse, while dying things would not get better.”

    That’s my experience! I’m great now though. Seriously considering taking my journals out to the cottage and ceremonially throwing them in the fire.

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  17. Gabby, you’ve been helping me find solace in myself for the past few years through your wisdom and meditations. I could not be more grateful. Thank you.

    This post on addiction speaks to me–not only am I starting a journey of quitting cigarettes, but I also feel I’m addicted to the behavioral pattern of staying small: of not fully stepping into the person I’m meant to become, specifically when it comes to my life’s work.

    I’m 25 years old and have worked in multiple industries, mostly doing office work, but I feel I’m called to be more adventurous. I write my own music, I have a current of bliss that runs through me after I dance or get back from being on a film/tv set as a production assistant, and I love to write poetry. l want to make art for my own catharsis, and to be a presence of understanding for those who feel lost. But I’m afraid to show my work.

    I’m currently untethered to a full time job and feel this is the best time to move in a direction that would inspire me and lead to a flourish of adventures. Yet I’m also tempted to take the first job I apply to because I need to pay my rent.

    How do I know if I’m spending time on the right things, the things that are condusive to answering my soul’s calling? If I don’t make moves now, I’m afraid I’ll miss my chance, miss the call, and end up saying yes to a job I’m not inspired by because I’m desperate. How do I find answers?

    Thank you for all that you do. xx A

  18. Hi gabby I am so grateful to have found this blog. I heard about you on mindvalley and I have been into the spiritual well being and struggling to find myself. I felt like its just not clicking. I myself struggle with addiction and I find it harder this time around. I was clean and sober for three years. I had gotten my life completely together and was finding all my dreams coming true. I was so grateful and just loving God and life. Low and behold I had my rug swept out underneath of me. I lost it all back in August, house, kids, sobriety and my spirituality. I had given up. Just recently since November december I found mindvalley. I have always enjoyed meditation but not practice it daily. I just recently started practicing law of attraction, EFT, meditation, NLP. Videos and books. I have also taken courses and seminars. I just think that I struggle from the addiction from trying to numb my emotions. Then again the emotions are creating a barrier to cause the meditations and other tools to not work. I have been trying to let go and ask for guidance and help. It worked for me the first time with God and the universe backing me up and guiding me however this time nothing. I am lost and confused. I just feel stuck. Maybe I need to focus on one aspect and work that to my best ability rather than all the lessons at once. They all are great tools and the books are amazing but I find im trying to incorporate many tools all at once. I guess I need to put my all into remaining clean and sober and then start working on emotional healing. My problem is that I get 7 days or 4 days under my belt and then something happens which throws me through a loop. You are such an inspiration and I want to thank you. Your tips and videos on the blog have given me some ground to start working on. I thank you so much!!

  19. Love your article so much…I’m one of those people who have an addiction and I stop 2 years ago because it will ruined my life and my family will suffer..After reading your article and watching your video it motivates me more to stop..Thank you so much for helping me and those people who needs help…

  20. Hi Gabby,

    Thank you for sharing your experience in recovery. In 2005, I also got sober for the first time and I was also 25. I relapsed a couple times and will celebrate 8 years in long term recovery from drugs and alcohol this month. Yeehaw!! I recently included you in an email with other females about our intentions for living in 2015. I hope you received it and were inspired. I live in Denver and will see you tomorrow evening. Excited to see and hear Spirit move through you! Enjoy Denver!

    P.S. Watercourse is a great place for vegetarian food.

  21. Hi Gabby,
    I really love and respect your work. You are such an inspiration. Whenever I feel down I listen to some Gabby Gospel and life get lighter 🙂 and this allows me to be in the light and share it.
    I have a burning question:
    How do I help my ex-boyfriend first (fully) admit and second do something sustainably about his alcohol addiction?
    2 weeks ago I broke up with my boyfriend. He has a severe drinking problem, which he wouldn’t want to admit and he lied to me a lot when it came to enjoying the attention of other women. I believe he never cheated though. Anyways, every other week he would either drink (for a couple of days) or stress me with another assignment, like texting with other women.
    For months I did nothing but love him for the person who he is underneath it all, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
    Now that I’m gone he keeps on drinking and trying to get me back and go on recovery with him.
    I actually feel really lost in all of it and don’t know what I should do? On the one hand I do not want to let him down, if he genuinely wants to change but I fear that he is deceiving the both of us just to get me back and that nothing will change!
    The thing is that this is not only about our relationship, he has a 13 year old son (in front of whom he has been drinking as well) and he is an entrepreneur and his business suffers as well!

    Any advice will be super helpful! Thank you for your light!
    Sat Nam, xoxo

    1. Hi Alexandra,

      You could start by asking your ex if he wants help and offer to help him find the right care/treatment.
      You can also reach out to his family members and express your concern.
      Often times people want help but they are overwhelmed and do not know where to start.

      1. Hi Elisa,
        thank you for your reply. I have offered him my help while I was living with him… I even offered going to AAs with him or managing his business if he needs to go into rehab, but none of it was fruitful. Whenever he is sober for two days all the plans to change and be better are gone, until the next time he picks up the booze.
        I found out that his drinking and drugs (in the past) have led to his divorce. So I’m keeping close contact with the family too.

        I just don’t know what to do. And never thought I’d share that openly this problem. Thanks for listening 🙂 xx

  22. Do you have a link/resource/or advice on dealing with sobriety within a relationship? I think my biggest concern is being sober and dating someone who is a casual drinker. You had explained that is the dynamic of yours and your husbands relationship. Have there ever been issues in the relationship that was a cause of him being a casual drinker? Have you ever felt a moment of weakness when you two would be at a social event together and he would be drinking?
    I had left a comment on your Q& A for V-Day and you sent me to this blog which is a great resource for recovering. But I think I’m looking for more insight on being sober while in a relatinship with a casual drinker. is my e-mail if you’re available to discuss further for a brief moment.
    Thank you for your time and energy.

  23. Miss Gabby, I just finished watching your interview on Recovery 2.0. Stayed up late to watch it as I did not want to miss it! All I can say is thank you! I have followed your work and inspirational journey for a while, but hearing you talk about recovery just made my heart sing! Thank you for your humility, your honesty and your example. Sat Nam, one day at a time. Xxx

  24. Hi Gabby,
    You saved me yet again this morning. I was hitting a real low and although I have a dedicated spiritual practice I found myself in a really uncomfortable place last night. I came to your page, listened to you “How to Avoid Making the Same Mistake Twice” lecturing and found peace within myself. I actually look at what happened last night as a blessing now, because sometimes I glaze over my meditations and forget the true feeling of peace. I guess sometimes it takes falling off to remember how much you want peace. Thanks for being there!

  25. @GabbyBernstein hi Gabby. I have been following you for 5yrs now and deep into my practice. I find myself attracting addictive people into my life. Although I am not aware of any addictions I myself have I would love your insight in helping others. I have been with my boyfriend 7months and just learned by him telling me that he is indeed an alcoholic who is ready to be sober and had been now for 7days. What advice can you give me to be of service to him?

  26. This really inspired me to take the leap, Gabby. Thank you so much for your wisdom and assistance! I look forward to seeing you speak in SF soon.

  27. Dear Gabby,

    First I want to thank you for all that you teach me to unlearn, I listen to your podcasts and lectures every morning it helps me stay committed. I’ve lost my mom when I was 17 after 6 years of cancer fight and spent the next 13 years of my life surviving and I guess my ego helped in some way. I’ve stopped talking to my dad 6 years ago and we reconnected a few months ago thanks to all the energy shifting from my spiritual path with you. I did the 42 days of “May cause Miracles” and I must say it was a complete breakthrough for me, I literally cried every day of the first week and it felt like 5 years therapy.

    Now I need some help on toxic relationships as I’m confused with what you say sometimes. When I was 28 I met this girl whom I fell in love with. I never expected that as I’ve always been “straight” – I don’t like labels but that’s how I defined myself. I’m now 32 and spent the past 4 years struggling on and off of this relationship with her which I start to realize might be an addiction.
    I’m a subscriber of “getmoregabby” and listened this morning to your podcast about toxic relationships and I’m not sure to understand what you mean when you say to come back to a place of “oneness” and point finger at yourself instead of saying the other person is bad. I mean, I understand, but does it mean that if you find what’s wrong with yourself triggering the toxicity then you could be happy with that person? Is forgiveness only the only way to get out of it? On my journey with May Cause Miracles I was sometimes tempted to get back to her thinking that if I SEE things differently then it could work out. It is so hard getting over her, almost like I’m losing my mom again. I journal, I meditate, I ask my inner guide why is it so hard and I think I have some answer but my problem is I still can’t really see the lesson that she was here to teach me.

    I keep showing up and having you in my life now is like a blessing. If you have any additional advice that would be very helpful.

    Thanks a lot

  28. People need focus on other things to forget bad things they want to break habit with. Or people can make busy with many things else to don’t remember feel with it. People can do things they want, ask yourself what you want right now that don’t do something bad like before, let do it because you can. When you do it, like some one said, good increase then bad will less.

  29. Very powerful message. Thank you for your service to others!

    When I see your triangle necklace I always think of Unity-Service-Recovery. You are showing others that there is always a way to turn it over to the care of someone or something greater than ourselves.

    Now if I could just find out where I can get a similar gold mother Mary necklace. I love that one on you.

  30. Thank you so much for getting real about addiction, I feel like it is just so important to shed light on it because it prevents us from seeing completey clear. Also the fact that it is a process; and just because you stop drinking does not mean you are no longer an addict it might be redirected towards food, sex, shopping, what ever. But talking about it and recognizing it and knowing there is a safe place to talk about it is the first step. You are a goddess and I am so grateful for all the work you are doing in this world. xoxo

  31. Gabby!
    It is so freaking awesome of you to share your tools and the path you took to not only jumpstart your recovery but keep it going. I am so effing happy I follow you, that you exist in my life and the life of others, and that I look to you as one of my many favorite teachers in life.
    I work with women struggling with all sorts of life issues that they want to ‘let go’ of and one thing I tell them time and time again is, “You’ve gotta want it! Like air to breathe. You’ve got it want it with every bit of your being.”
    To read that as your first point sent chills up my spine and brought a huge freaking smile to my face! I feel like reading what helped you, which was also what helped me, is further confirmation that how we serve and what we have to offer is on point and worth every bit of our time. Thank you my little miracle teacher and social media friend (yes, even tho you don’t know me personally, lol – we’re friends sister!) haha!
    Love & Light!

  32. Would you agree a person could have personal misunderstandings and attachments that they don’t even know about, that could lead to addictions and those addictions no matter how subtle or how great, could be leading them to a sense of bitterness, unhappiness or even a major sense of depression, even if those affects only present themselves periodically?

    That is what our Addiction Academy does. We dig those issues up, no matter how big or small, because we realize even the tiniest splinter can become infected. So we do whatever it takes to uncover those roots, and bring about deeper understandings that help to develop a permanent sense of well being, balance and confidence in the individual moving forward into the future.

  33. Hi Gabby, love your work. My story is from the other side of the fence. My husband is the alcoholic and addict and nearly 10 years I didn’t know what I was dealing with. I thought an alcoholics were the bums on the street who didn’t work. My husband was a hard worker and had a good job and supported us well. When I finally went to Alanon I realised what I was dealing with. I have since healed my chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, studied kinesiology and been building a business for 4 years. My passion is to help and support loved ones and families of addicts. In my experience there is alot of help and support for the addicts but not much info out there for the families. This is my mission and passion that want to share. I have just started writing blogs called “From Insanity to Clarity” and hope to have my book finished one day. Love to know your thoughts

  34. Hi Gabby!

    Is there an “” type site for al-anon members? I’ve asked at my meetings, but haven’t found anything yet… much love!! ~H

  35. Loved this, Gabby! Both you and Elisa are right on and I really appreciated Elisa’s advice about the process of recovery. Not jumping into maybe 12 step or a treatment program right away but looking at the whole picture to see where the issues lie.
    I have been drinking and “celebrating” since my late teens. It was how I was raised and the culture I have been in for longer than I want to admit. I recently had an awakening about this before the holidays and have not had a drink since mid-November. I have seriously never felt better both emotionally and physically. I remember thinking to myself while seeing you speak, Gabby in MA this fall. “How can I be working so hard on myself, healing my inside while drinking and not truly being present? Take this opportunity to live your truth, be open and grow!” I’m so thankful for this change and the world that has opened up before me. Thank you for being such a positive guide within this process xoxo

  36. this came at the most opportune moment right now as i started to begin picking up cigarettes again and start another pattern of binge drinking a couple times a week. been working more hours in the office for a company that i LOVE, BUT they love to drink, smoke, stay up late, party party party. i’m a wild child at heart, i love to have fun, and it’s so tempting to get back into my old patterns that i have been able to successfully keep at bay for the past 2 years. i thought i was OVER this stuff, cured, ya know? but the temptation to get back into that lifestyle is so f’ing tempting. wow! this shit comes back at ya when you least expect it. i mean, here i am, working towards more goals of helping other people to heal their lives, going back to school to be a physician assistant, healer, guide, teacher. i want to be a positive role model for others so they be empowered to take the steps to live a healthy and fun, fulfilling life and here i am struggling with old temptations. anyway, thank you gabrielle, i so so needed this and will be getting on this wagon again. i am the happy learner! 😉

  37. Is it really just as simple as saying an affirmation and praying daily? I have been meditating for over 4 years now, and I’m on my 50th day of meditating every day, but I’m finding that I don’t feel any difference… I am definitely addicted to control and fear (which I guess could be the same thing), and I’m really struggling to let go of it. I’ve joined an ACIM study group, and I am working really hard at being more honest and vulnerable (scary for someone who loves control), but I still feel disconnected a lot of the times. I find it very difficult to continue on with your normal day-to-day life, and stay connected.

    1. Hi Krista,
      Try this… Ask God – the Universe or whatever name/ idea you are comfortable with- to show you you’re being heard. Choose something that is not commonplace but not impossible and ask God to show it to you.
      God communicates with me with blue feathers. If I want confirmation when I’m doubting or confused, I ask God to show me the blue feathers. They have never failed to show up.
      The first time I did this more than 10 years ago, it took less than 12 hours for my daughter to bring me her dream catcher from her room, which had fallen down from a hook that had held it firm for over 2 years. When this happened I literally heard God laughing at me for questioning Him.
      Feathers will show up on my Instagram feed or on Pinterest boards and in the dust bunnies under my bed. We don’t have a bird and I live in the middle of the city. It never fails.
      I’ll check back to find out how your own version of the blue feathers works for you. I have no doubt it will.
      Love and light,

  38. Hello Gabby, Ive only just started to follow you and your blog, at first with a little”whatever” i’ll see what happens but now its really informative. Im struggling at the moment with my heart and my finances… I am an entrepreneur and love what i do but when i say i am having a quiet January, i’m really having a quite January to the point where no money has come in, its making me worry every time i open my eyes in the morning and obviously this is creating fear in me that why am i not getting these people to make a decision and purchase a product from me, then this is turing into am i worth enough….

    I can see how this all leads to a downhill spiral and how people turn to things to help them block issues out. I am trying my hardest to overcome the fear of all of this but its sometimes hard.. Thanks for this blog post and i’ll be sure to read all the links above
    Caroline x

  39. Gabby~

    I admire your honesty, courage, and authenticity. I am a junkie of spirit more than anything else and your presence has been a light on my path. Some days when I feel low, I sense your light and it gives me strength, reminding me I am not alone and to keep surrendering to God’s will. Bless you for showing up so bright!!!!!


  40. Wow! The timing of this posting is miraculous in my life! I have been following you a long time, in part because I love kundalini yoga. In fact, kundalini yoga was in part of my first recovery from postpartum depression and alcoholism. It helped me stay sober for 7 years. But then, I relapsed two years ago, in large part because I didn’t change my job, I continued doing a “soul-killing” job that was out of alignment with who I am. I Heard the whispers of my soul but denied it, and relapsed. Today, my world came crashing down around me again, and my career is again on the line, but this time I know I have to honour my soul calling in order to make lasting change. You can’t fool your soul! I was feeling really vulnerable and low about having let this happen AGAIN! Then I read your newsletter and said “wow!” . I am not alone. Incidentally, my soul calling is to coach others how to live life in alignment with their gifts , and to motivate others to go for it and live their best lives! You make me feel like my dreams are possible. So, here I go AGAIN, recovering again. First step will to establish a DAILY kundalini practice instead of just once a week. Sat Nam dear Gabby! Thank you so much for being so brave and open!!! In light and love!

  41. Gabby, this is a knock-out. Coming from an alcoholic family, divorced from a porn addict, and having been in recovery from codependency for so many years, I am thrilled by the work you do, but most especially your story. Being on the Advisory Board of the Caron Foundation, the recovery movement has been an important part of my life. My friends who have embraced recovery have been my greatest spiritual teachers and have brought miracles into my life. Thank you for bringing that possibility to the masses. Blessings, babe:)

  42. Thanks for this blog. At the age of 40 I have discovered that my nightly wine habit has become a problem. Splitting a bottle of wine with my husband used to be a weekend thing. Now it’s a daily thing. It angers me because it’s the one vice I hold on to. I’ve been vegan for 12 years, healing fibromyalgia through diet and exercise. I do a bit of yoga every morning. Something within me is off and I hope to figure it out. I received “May Cause Miracles” for Christmas and just started day 1 today. I am hoping to find out why I look to that glass of wine for comfort. You are an inspiration and I hope that I can celebrate my own sobriety in the near future. Much love to you!

  43. Gabrielle,

    I’m an alcoholic and have been sober for 4 1/2 years. I’ve put a lot of work into my recovery. I’ve been through all the steps including the thorough inventory, reading my 5th, and surrendering to my higher power in 6 & 7. I’m making amends and practicing the latter steps on a daily basis. While I love AA my sponsor has always advised me to seek help wherever I can. I have recently been introduced to your work and am looking forward to more. Thanks you for being open about your sobriety, sharing your experience with others, and for being an inspiration.

  44. Gabby,

    I’ve been struggling with addiction for 12 years (since I was 14). I briefly stopped drinking last summer, but relapse. My reason for quitting is my sober ex boyfriend, who I’m so grateful for. Even though we are no longer in each other’s lives, he truly was an angel for me. I’m determined to quit this addiction and live a sober lifestyle. If I want to be the type of woman, future wife, mother, friend, sister, etc I must quit drinking. That’s what’s fueling me. I’m going to start your 40-Day kundalini meditation today. Thank you so much xoxo

  45. So much GRATITUDE! Thank you so much for your courage to share this information with us! I celebrated 3 years clean last September and it’s been such a beautiful, challenging worthwhile experience. Your books, meditations and presence in my life have impacted my recovery and happiness in a very powerful way. I can’t wait to become the healer I’m meant to be and start helping the world right alongside you. xoxo -Blaze

  46. Dearest Gabby, Thank you so much for this Amazing Post! What a wealth of information. As divine timing would have it, this is perfectly timed… My Beautiful Daughter (recently married) is beginning to realize that her husband has a Drinking Addiction. Although when I attempted to have an Honest Conversation with her, regarding helping him… shit hit the fan! You know what I mean? I am not sure how to help them?????. What I do know for sure…1?she got Miracles Now for Christmas 2?she started following you on IG 3? we shall see you in S.F. In 3 weeks?????????

    1. so looking forward to seeing you in SF. when she’s ready to accept what’s happening suggest that she check out a alanon meeting. when she’s ready…

  47. Hi Gabby,
    Thanks so much for this beautiful post – you are so inspiring and encouraging.
    I’d love to know more about how you pray? Do you free pray – just talk to God – as well as use Mantras? I endeavour to do both, but would love to know how you apply the practice of prayer (any little things you do and ways you do them), in hope that they could help my practice expand even more.
    With much love and gratitude always!

  48. When the student is ready the teacher appears. Saturday I finally realized that I am an addict and have been for years. I didn’t realize when it was shopping, eating, relationships, work or even alcohol. It wasn’t until it turned into substances that it even occurred to me. Even then I decided it wasn’t really an addiction. Since my 34th birthday in December everything has felt so heavy and I’ve wished that I could be as detached and numb as I had in the past. Now, I finally realize I am no longer in control, that I would do anything to avoid feeling my feelings. I know I’m not making progress in other areas of my life no matter how much it feels like I’m trying, because I’m not managing the basic things. I couldn’t figure out why I hadn’t gone grocery shopping in over a year, despite my deep desire to lose weight and get off medications, or other simple steps when I had all the knowledge. It’s overwhelming. I feel like I’m not “bad/addicted” enough to join a program, but I’m not well enough to continue as is. I don’t know where to begin, I feel like there are so many things I need to fix. Things addiction has caused, the things that caused the addiction. I’m so thankful for the resources you’ve shared and hope that one of them will be the stepping stone I need.

  49. A beautiful and significant post, Gabby, about a journey that so many struggle with. Thank you for sharing this.
    My brother was an alcoholic. He did the programs, the rehab, but in hindsight I can clearly see that he never rediscovered his spirituality. He died at age 34, his body couldn’t handle the pain anymore.
    I don’t know what it’s like to be an addict, but understand the pain and suffering it can cause people who love them. I also have ongoing guilt associated with alcohol since my brothers passing, so as someone looking towards sobriety, who isn’t currently addicted, I know this blog post will still help.

    I’m not sure if anyone has already posted about this but an incredible read is ‘High – a party girl’s guide to peace’, by Tara Bliss. You met Tara recently in Aus, so you may be aware of High, but for anyone else reading through the comments – check it out. Life changing stuff.
    We’ve got this, guys.
    Thank you xxx

  50. Hey Gabby-
    I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your wonderful eperience so far on your path of recovery.
    I am currently on that journey myself.
    I am 17 years old and this past year has had plenty of “rock bottoms” I had been put into rehab back in September for Heroin addiction and such. I now attend AA meetings as often as I can, found a fantastic sponsor, and celebrated 90 day this month, but lately I feel like my mind is somewhat giving up on it, and telling me I got it when I really don’t. I’ve been loving your book Miracles Now, and ALWAYS make references to it during meetings. Love it! But anyways if you can shoot me an email I would greatly appreciate it!

    1. Jenna –
      I want you to go into your next meeting (tomorrow) and share about how you are feeling. Call you sober sisters and sponsor and talk to your therapist…do not keep secrets.
      Amazing job on 90 days!!! x

  51. Hey Gabby-
    I just want to say thank you so much for sharing your wonderful eperience so far on your path of recovery.
    I am currently on that journey myself.
    I am 17 years old and this past year has had plenty of “rock bottoms” I had been put into rehab back in September for Heroin addiction and such. I now attend AA meetings as often as I can, found a fantastic sponsor, and celebrated 90 day this month, but lately I feel like my mind is somewhat giving up on it, and telling me I got it when I really don’t. I’ve been loving your book Miracles Now, and ALWAYS make references to it during meetings. Love it! But anyways if you can shoot me an email I would greatly appreciate it!

  52. Dear Gabby, there must be a reason I read this right now. I’m changing carreers and struggling in transition. I was a lawyer and am studying to become a health coach now. I do know the theory, but am still so very addicted to sugar and also food in general. I have quit sugar for more than a month twice now (I felt great!), but it seems so difficult (social!) to just entirely quit it forever… Also, I do yoga for years now, read lots of spiritual books, including yours and I listen to your meditations. Because of that I realize it’s about self-love and body love and therefore it hits me in the face. Maybe I need to pray, meditate and journal more to get to know the root cause (which I honestly don’t know, nothing really bad has ever happened to me I think). I turn 30 within a week and my problems with food go back for about 12 years… I have to get to my knees and completely surrender every day I guess. I need a miracle… So much love to you beautiful soul! You’re such an inspiration to me! I’m not there yet, but you’ve already helped me a lot! And for that, I’m grateful! Warm hug, Isabel X (P.S.: sorry for the typos, I’m belgian).

  53. Dear Gabby, there must be a reason I read this right now. I’m changing carriers and struggling in transition. I was a lawyer and am studying to become a health coach now. I do know the theory, but am still so very addicted to sugar and also food in general. I have quit sugar for more than a month twice now (I felt great!), but it seems so difficult (social!) to just entirely quit it forever… Also, I do yoga for years now, read lots of spiritual books, including yours and I listen to your meditations. Because of that I realize it’s about self-love and body love and therefore it hits me in the face. Maybe I need to pray, meditate and journal more to get to know the root cause (which I honestly don’t know, nothing really bad has ever happened to me I think). I turn 30 within a week and my problems with food go back for about 12 years… I have to get to my knees and completely surrender every day I guess. I need a miracle… So much love to you beautiful soul! You’re such an inspiration to me! I’m not there yet, but you’ve already helped me a lot! And for that, I’m grateful! Warm hug, Isabel X (P.S.: sorry for the typos, I’m belgian).

  54. Hi Gabby! I asked you about this topic recently as well so I thank you deeply for this timely post. I had a moment of surrender and much like you, I listened, and I followed the “advice” I knew to be true and that was 52 days ago. No more alcohol for me! I love blogs and resources like this because it helps keep the motivational fires lit <3

  55. Hi Gabby!
    Wow this article could not have come at a better timing. As I was walking to work today I was listening to your talk at Wanderlust’ Speakeasy 2014.. it is so profound and I always cry when you all chant Ek Ong Kar Sat Gur Prasad. I was at your London lecture on 7 dec 2013 and asked you for advice being 21 years old and not knowing what to do after I graduate university, you gave great advice (I recorded the lecture): “signing the sacred contract today with this conversation at this age. You will be fine baby. Open your spiritual awareness and everything will be given to you” (I am also super thankful for your lecture notes that you gave me after – greatest gift ever, thank you!) I’ve been dedicated to my spiritual practice but over the past couple of months since finishing university I have been partying a lot more.. and in those moments (and the day after) I often feel completely unaligned and disconnected to the light within. The past weeks I’ve felt a need to go extreme- all or nothing. I realised I wanted change, the same week came across “High: a party girl’s guide to peace”.. after other small signs the past week this blog post today is the clear message I needed. I am 23 today and look forward to starting off with a month of no drinking, reconnecting at a deeper level to spirit and seeing how it goes from there! With so much love and gratitude for your continuous guidance, Elsa

  56. Hi Gabby
    Cead Mile Failte…Hello from Ireland! Thank you so much for your experience, strength and hope. I love reading your blogs, they give me hope and strength in my journey. I have been sober 18 months, attend AA. I have suffered from a eating disorder for 20 years and have not found peace with this. I attend OA and ask God to help me surrender with this addiction too. I cant seem to let it go. I need help! I do not want to waste my life in this illness. x

  57. Love this topic! I have 3 1/2 yrs sober and life is really good. Discovering you 2 years ago was such a blessing! I was a year sober but a dry drunk and didn’t feel so great After discovering your blog and books I started getting excited about my life. Today I am living a life that I am proud of and that I love. Thank you :))
    Ps: thank u for your post on TM. With the help of Bob I was able to start TM.

  58. Hi Gabby,
    I love how stuff appears at the perfect time! I’m a volunteer counsellor at a bereavement centre and just last week a new client blurted out that he had joined NA. He told me he hadn’t expected to tell me but it felt like the right time. Addiction is new to me but I’m so honoured he trusted me and want to support him. Your truths have really helped me and in turn, I hope will help me help him better!
    Thank you x

  59. This is awesome! My dad taught me The Serenity Prayer when I was 4yrs old and I’m so grateful to him starting me on my spiritual path. He was a recovering alcoholic and we would always say this prayer together. Now he is my #1 angel and I know he led me to your work. Thank you for all you do for your spirit junkie community! Xoxo

  60. Deep gratitude for all you do. My question is, how do you get at that feeling of “wanting it”? I say I want it but I keep on caving to my addictions and procrastinating, “Just until tomorrow, just one more time…” etc. I think I want it but my actions say I don’t. ??

    1. you can no longer give yourself permission to have it… permission given thoughts lead to “doing it.” i believe in abstinence which requires – no permission to do it. I don’t give myself permission to drink, use drugs, eat sugar…

      1. One of my addictions is perfectionism, so the absolute of “none at all ever” will actually work well for me! Good tip! Now, and I ask this follow-up because maybe others share this struggle, what about the WANTING to make a change? I am apathetic sometimes (often). How do you tap into staying with the desire? I’m stuck on your STEP ONE! 🙁 You gotta want it.

        1. I have spent the day reading other things written by Gabby and here is my own reply to my own question but it’s really Gabby’s reply because she said it. “Sign the sacred contract.” Now here’s my part. If you sign a sacred contract with your ING, your ING will show up for you and as Gabby says, “everything will be given to you.” Gotta make that sacred contract every day. Then The Want is coming from the ING, not from external circumstances. Cha ching.

        2. I can identify with your struggle. There is a part of me that wants to make a change, but I also wonder if it is worth the work, if it really is better, if it really is an issue. I love what you’ve shared after reading other things from Gabby and its awesome that you found the answers for yourself. That’s amazing to me! Right now, I just try to remember the fact that I’m reading/listening/thinking about these things is the first step in wanting and to just put one foot in front of the other from there.

  61. My stumbling block again and again with my addictions seems to be my lack of willpower. So when I read the steps “Turn Inward” i don’t trust myself to do it because my ego or self-sabetour is the one ruling this lack of willpower, so sometimes don’t trust my ability to turn inward. The same goes for Surrendering. While I know the concept is to surrender to my soul, as an addict the term “surrender” triggers all sorts of feels of surrendering to what I’m addicted to. Do I ask my ego to please release me from these addictions? Who or what am I asking for help from? Sitting meditation feels really hard to do at the same time. THANKS AND LOVE for all your advice and encouragement.

    1. it’s up to you to establish a spiritual relationship of your own understanding. this comes through prayer and meditation. be patient and willing. guidance will come through in funny ways:)

      1. Thanks, I recommit to prayer for guidance and, as you say, approach my meditation as an opportunity to “hear it”
        with LoVe and patience ~

  62. Gabby,

    This is why you are such an inspiration to me. My addiction was self blame after an abusive situation that went from childhood into my adult life. Why seeing addiction comes in many forms is an important statement you make. Making a decision to get out of the situation and then to find a positive support system was hard but A friend gave me your Newest book and with the inspiration from your blogs and books I was able to move further forward. Also with the amount of additional support you often bring to us like Tommy Rosen, I have now many positive blogs and material to help. Thankfully, my husband is wonderful as well and stands with me. But It is hard not to fall back on that negative voice or self blame. I am so happy for you. The detail you put into overcoming your stuggle is why you are so needed. I am also grateful you say there are many kinds of addictions or I never may have seen that. I did want to use Tommy Rosen’s program as I love yoga but thought it wasn’t meant for me. I see I was wrong there. I am really thankful you are an inspiration for today’s generation. We need your positive vibes:) Blessings to you always Ria

  63. Gabby,

    Thank you for sending this most auspiciously timed blog post. I am suffering through a high conflict divorce and coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness that are a result of a co- dependent relationship with a very disturbed man. I teach Yoga and Meditation and know that it has helped me tremendously. However I suffer from depression and feel like I am in trauma a lot of the time. I read constantly, meditate, practice yoga, gave up alcohol (since it makes me more depressed ) and go inwards like you are suggesting. If I could just move away from him and be done with him I would but we have an eight year old boy who has Asbergers that keeps me here. I could never leave my boy. Do you have any insight for me? I know you are very tuned in. In gratitude and Love

    1. have you read spirit junkie? this book is very helpful for codependency. also maybe check out a Coda group or an alanon meeting.

      1. No I have not read it but now I will. I did not know it was about co-dependency until today. I’ve enjoyed your Miracles Now book and use it in my yoga classes and your online seminar. I will
        check out a meeting too. Thank you so much for your time and quick response. I am amazed! Sat Nam Beautiful Yogini Goddess.

  64. Thank you for this, Gabby. I have been with my fiancé for 7 years and this summer he will celebrate 6 years sober. His journey opened my eyes to my addictions…although not drugs and alcohol they were equally destructive and not serving me. His willingness to choose a different path inspired me and led me to you. Today we both are happy individuals who have a healthy relationship. But these practices must be practiced daily. Thank you for pointing out “other addictions.” Also thank you for choosing sobriety and sharing your light with all of us.

  65. I am scared. My partner and I are at odds. My actions have caused him pain and suffering. I am making a change in my life but it scares me. I am going to start ‘a course in miracles’ journey this week in the hopes of shifting my life from darkness and into light but what if I am not good enough what then?

  66. Great post. Thank you. I am also recovering addict. 5 years sober now, yeay! 12steps is awesome, I found my spirituality trough aa. I love your work and posts and all! Thank you 🙂

  67. Thank you so much for sharing your voice, as always Gabby. One of the things that really hit me from reading this is how we really have to want it – to really want to break the habit, whatever it is. In recent years I’ve been obsessed with comparing myself to others and at one point it felt like a cheap thrill to disappear down that rabbit hole of my Facebook feed and hang out with my old friend ‘jealousy’. Since then, I sometimes beat myself up about being slow to the realisation that I wanted to break that habit – like I wasted time – but I guess I have to trust the timing of my life.

    Wishing everyone so much love and light on each of your journeys – I just saved the Serenity Prayer on my phone and am adding it to my mantra bundle!

    Lucy xx

  68. Thanks for your post and all that you do.I am praying for guidance about how to leave an unhealthy work situation that could qualify as an addiction.Watching the video with Elisa was very helpful.
    Thanks for giving me something to look at and resources that can help

    1. Hi Anne,

      Making changes can be hard…but try to look it at is a transformation. Email me if you want to chat more.
      Best – Elisa

  69. Hi Gabby, you have come into my life at such a perfect time and this post just
    confirms it. I have been
    addicted to drugs for over 30years on and off ( more on than off ) and last week I decided it was time to face my fears and let go of my destructive behaviour as I have 3 children and was not ever fully present for them . I am working through your book May Cause Miracles and committing to a day affirmation every 2 days. I’m struggling though with getting to sleep ( as that is what I used marijjuana to help me with, as at an early age I suffered from insomnia. Now that I am letting go of my self medication I can’t sleep and finding it challenging to meditate as I feel so tired and messy . I am willing as I learnt TM over 10 years ago, though practicing
    inconsistently . This post has so much that resonates with me and the resources are incredible . I can’t wait to go through them all . I have turned 50 and want the next stage of my life to be something magnificent . However I am scared I will fail myself and my family . I surrender and open to guidance and support. Thank you for being you.

  70. Thank you so much for your post Gabby. I’m 20 years old and I hit my rock bottom at 18. I discovered your books a few months ago and they have literally changed my life. I have been sober almost 18 months now and as a recovering addict, it is essential for me to continue to grow spiritually and serve others. You inspired me to put my writing out into the world and I finally started a blog. I have so much more self-love and confidence since I have deticated myself to being a spirit junkie and I just wanted to tell you how much I look up to you and how much you have inspired me to follow my dreams. Check out my blog if you’re interested – – as you can tell the name is inspired from you as well 🙂 much love – Amelia

      1. Oh I also forgot to mention I never knew what kundalini yoga was until I heard you talking about it. Ive been doing it ever since and it’s literally making such an impact on my life.
        Thanks for responding I was so excited to hear back from you. It would be the biggest miracle to attend one of your talks – my dream is to one day meet you but I guess I’ll have to wait and see if the stars ever align haha.

  71. Hi Gabby,

    I am a huge fan of your work and I listen to the Spirit Junkie audio version book almost daily 😉 You are a wonderful role model and a gift to this world. I am in Recovery 2.0, 12 Steps recovery and I still have troubles to stay sober.I get up to 3 months and then I get depressed, confused and relapse (alcohol) I am also looking for a sponsor , mentor that would guide me through the 12 steps and Recovery in a holistic way. Would you be available to sponsor me? Much Love and Sat Nam,

    Sylvia Ray Arden

    1. Hi sister, are you going to meetings? In the rooms pay attention to the women who “have what you want”… those are the women who can be the best sponsors. I have one sponsee right now and that’s the best I can do today. Thank you for asking. I hope my blogs and work support your recovery!

      1. Hi Gabby,

        thank you so much for your quick answer. I am definitely looking for the qualities in other women, but honestly noone inspires me by now and my soul is definitely crying out for more. I am an active member on ITR and I also participate in the Recovery 2.0 Coaching Program, learning Kundalini Yoga and Meditation. As to 12 Step Communities rarely do I see a woman who really rocks on every level. I found many amazing women there for sure but most of them after many years of so called sobriety are still addicted in some other ways such codependency, love, sex, sugar, food addictions, caffeine and so on. It is by no means a judgment it’ s simply doesn’t inspire me and I end up a little lost in translation. That’s why I asked you for sponsorship and help because I feel that you are rocking it and you are healing holistically while living an amazing and purposeful Life. That’s what I crave and desire for myself. Hugs, Sylvia 🙂

          1. Thank you so much Amelia 🙂 Are you using Skype by any chance ..I am in Europe o it would be great to connect this way..
            Skype name : fendela

  72. Thanks Gabby! You have no idea how this post has helped me and reasured me that I am on the healthy path to recovery.

    So much love,

  73. Ask and the universe will provide…A few weeks ago, I started my journey to sobriety from codependency and love addiction. Just the other day I was asking for more information to help me along and then I got this blog today

    Thank you!

    Peace & Love,

      1. Yes, I read it when it was released and loved it. I’m sure when I re-read it, I’ll hear and learn so much more. – Thank you!

    1. Hi Lisa,

      is there a website where I could read more about your services and contact you?

      Hugs, Sylvia

      skype name: fendela

  74. I am recovering from an anxiety disorder and you meditations and advice have really helped me begin to realize that I can change my negative thought patterns and constant doubt of myself. I still struggle and question whether or not I am on the right path everyday, but then I choose again and go back to the light. Thank you for all your help and I hope to continue to grow on this journey with you. You truly are a light-maker!

  75. Battling with the addiction to ‘busy’. The more emotional upheaval the more busy I become. Until I reach the point of utter fear of stopping and feeling whatever is really there underneath it all. I am trying though, and I guess that is all I can ask of myself.

    Thank you for this post, there are so many elements I can bring into this fight against ‘busy’. Like the other commenter I am a young woman (23) who has found your work deeply healing. I am bringing my girlfriend to London in March to see you as I had such an amazing experience there with you on your birthday and cannot wait for her to feel your presence and cannot wait to see you again. Thank you for being you and doing what you do Gabby xx

    1. Thank you for your post Tam, I too am struggling with compulsive busyness and despite going to WA meetings and working the early steps I am still in ‘self will run riot’, not being able to truly surrender.
      I have massive fear that if i stop i not be able to survive my feelings, although 12years in recovery has shown me that so far i have always survived my feelings. I do know that my Higher Power will only ever give me as much as I can cope with in any 24hr period, this has definitely been my experience, but OMG i have so much fear about slowing down – i guess this is my core stuff and all of the other addictions were my way of self medicating my fear.
      My Higher Power has been very generous in showing me what i need to let go of, every couple of years i have been shown something new and up until now i have been able to maintain complete sobriety in some fellowships and pretty good sobriety in others, but recovery from compulsive busyness is proving pretty elusive atm.
      I love Gabby’s work [Spirit Junkie was a real turning point for me], and also saw her back in October and am also booked for March 🙂
      I wish you well on your journey, and who knows we may meet in March.
      Thank you Gabby for your inspirational work, books, blogs and mediations 🙂

  76. I’ve personally never struggled with addiction per say – though it was rough getting off of sugar when I first decided to greatly reduce that. In any case, I’ve seen many others around me go (or who are still going) through it…

    It’s very true – they are all seeking something external to either ‘satisfy’ a yearning, or help them cope (i.e. with something like fear.)

    It’s hard to witness sometimes, but I’ve come to the conclusion that there is really nothing I can do other than be supportive (while also balancing that with healthy boundaries, so it won’t start to impact me for the negative.) THEY have to WANT to heal themselves. So your points, as they were outlined, were still very helpful & reassuring for me!

    I also particularly love your point about the fact that we’re not suggesting we’re better than anyone by choosing not to give in to an addiction – but that we’ve simply chosen to wake up! YES. I’ve had friends & family assume I somehow have myself on a pedestal – when sometimes I just need that boundary… Still loving the people – just not certain behaviors/ misconceptions due to their own internal struggles.

    So as someone more ‘outside’ of the situation – a helpful approach has been to recognize that I need to separate the person from their behaviors/ choices – and forgive. (And – keep hoping they learn how to forgive themselves, and eventually take that first step – of really WANTING to heal!) Then, continue to offer loving support…

  77. Hi Gabby,
    I just celebrated one year of sobriety on December 10th, and I found that even with one year sober, I was still struggling with acceptance. A friend told me about you, and I have learned so much from just checking out your vlogs, as well as practicing the exercises in May Cause Miracles (which I ordered like, 10 minutes after googling you and reading your story) 🙂 Your openness about your recovery is so incredibly inspiring. Also, I am in week two of “Finally Full”, and it is changing my life. Thank you for “being the lighthouse” and continuing to demonstrate that life is an amazing gift. 🙂


  78. Thank you so much for this, Gabby!!!!!! I am going to read this and return to it often!!!

    So much love and gratitude for you!!!

    ~ Paige

  79. Hi Gabby,
    Even though I am not recovering from addiction, I apprecaite all you do for everyone. I am nineteen years old and I have been using your tools since I was 16. You have made a massive influence in my life and your tools have shaped me into the young woman that I am today. You make such a difference in everybody’s life and I just wanted to thank you.

    1. Meghan,
      this post made me cry. Sometimes, there’s that comment that really sinks in. Wow!!! I’m soooo happy that you found this work at such a young age. You are so awesome! Keep up, stay close to the practices and trust that you’re being guided. The universe is doing GOOD with you:)

      So much love,

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