The following podcast is a Dear Media Production.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back, my friend. Welcome back. Today, we have such a gorgeous topic. It’s a topic that people write in about all the time. Constantly getting messages. Dear Gabby, how can I trust the universe when nothing seems to be working out?

How annoying, right? I get it. I get it. I hear it all the time, and I’m gonna answer that question right now with a quote from my late mentor and friend, Dr. Wayne Dyer. You’ll see it when you believe it. Wayne’s words are exactly what we’re talking about today on the podcast.

So if you’re feeling super hung up with thoughts like, where’s my boyfriend, or where’s my job, or where’s my money, or I won’t be happy until I have that thing, then you’re gonna continue to block those desires, and it’s just gonna feel like a repetition of the same pattern.

But, but, but, but if you redirect your focus onto believing, believing, believing you are worthy of what you desire, then you can truly enjoy the journey of manifesting the journey of co-creating that life that you really, really want.

So on today’s episode, I’m gonna offer you a really radical reframe. If you’re waiting for the universe to reveal to you that you are on the right track, then you’re looking in the wrong place.

Boom. Take that in. You’re probably looking in the wrong place, so you have to redirect that search inward and ask yourself, do I believe I’m worthy of what I desire? Now, in today’s episode, I’m coaching three callers on how to really shift their perception from what they need to get from the universe and how they can claim the change and their shift in their belief system so that they can actually begin to allow the universe to catch up with their dreams.

This is gonna offer you a quick shift that’s gonna unlock your greatest manifestations. This is a big episode. It’s answering your most common question, my friends. So please, sit back, take it all in, and enjoy the show.

How can I trust the universe if I haven’t seen my manifestation come into form? I’m gonna answer that question with a story. When I was one month sober, I was sitting in my mom’s basement watching a DVD. Yes, that’s correct—a DVD. This is 17 years ago. All about manifesting and it was a DVD that had all these great spiritual teachers like Louise Hay and Dr. Wayne Dyer, and I’m watching the DVD. And I’m seeing Wayne Dyer speak, and I’m just drawn in by his energy and his conviction, truly his conviction.

And so in that moment, I am listening so intently, and at one point he says, you have to believe it to see it. I looked at my life in that moment and I was like, okay. Do I believe that I can manifest this career path I have a vision for? Do I believe that I can stay clean and sober? Do I believe that I can have the love that I want in my life? Do I believe that I’m worthy of feeling good?

And instead of looking for my outside world to complete me that moment in time, 25 years old, I really claimed a new way of living. I made a commitment in that moment to stop looking for the outside world, to reflect back to me that I was good enough or that things were working out, or let the outcome be my reason for being. And I decided in that moment, at that ripe age of 25, that I was gonna focus more on my belief than on what I could see at first sight.

And I trusted that if I worked on my belief systems and I worked on releasing the block to the presence of my core belief in worthiness and my capacity to manifest, and the desires that I had were real. If I focused on those belief systems first, that the universe would catch up with my dreams.

And that’s the message for you.

If for some reason you’re out there thinking, why hasn’t that manifested yet? Where’s my boyfriend? Where’s my job? Where’s my money? I’m not happy until I have that thing, well, then it’s gonna stay that way. You’re gonna stay stuck in that loop.

Whereas if you start to say, I’m going to focus on really refining and claiming what I believe I desire and that I’m worthy of it, then you begin the real journey of attracting what you want into your life.

And if your only job is to focus on believing, then you’re gonna start receiving a lot faster than you think. If your only job is to focus on believing, then how could you get hung up when something isn’t working out? You can just ask yourself, well, where am I not believing? Where am I lacking faith? How can I surrender more?

And so, this is just the redirect. There’s a lot of steps to surrender. You can go watch my Oprah SuperSoul talk on how to surrender to the universe. You can read The Universe Has Your Back. You can practice the steps to surrender in Super Attractor. You can do all the things that I offer, but right here, right now, I just wanna give you a reframe.

The reframe is simple. If you’re looking for the universe to reveal to you that you’re on the right track, then you are absolutely looking in the wrong place. You have to redirect that search inward and ask yourself: Do I believe that I’m worthy of what this is that I desire? And what belief systems am I carrying that may be blocking me from that truth? You’ll see it when you believe it.

GABBY: Let’s bring in our first guest.

CALLER 1: Hi, how are you?

GABBY: I’m good, sweetie. Where are you in the world?

CALLER 1: Oh my gosh. I’m in Tucson, Arizona.

GABBY: Right on, man.

CALLER 1: Yes. Um, first of all, thank you so much for having me on. I have been in a situation with my husband the past few years, navigating our family planning journey, and I feel like we’ve been on a really great path in terms of the support that we have with our community and putting ourselves in a position where we’re financially stable and just ready to invite this new chapter in our lives.

And we’ve been in this place of waiting and not pressing. We’ve been vocal about our journey, and again, with our community-building, we’ve learned ourselves to be ready when it happens. But I feel like, I don’t know if I’m running out of patience or like how to really just navigate just being present through this patience.

And I’m not quite sure what to do with that type of anxious energy.

GABBY: Mm-hmm.

CALLER 1: Um, you know, I’m a creator, so I like to create and I’m putting art out into the world. And I’m constantly, like keeping myself busy and my husband and I do things together, but I feel like we’re in this hamster wheel of then what, or like what next or now what do we do?

And I’m not quite sure what to do with that.

GABBY: How to trust the universe is delivering even when you haven’t seen it yet. Got you. Okay. Well, there’s such a beautiful spiritual perspective that I wanna give you today, and it begins with first, trusting that everything you’re doing is absolutely perfect.

You’re creating, you are setting it up. You are getting your energy going with your husband, you’re creating the community. You’re doing all the beautiful legwork of what I would recommend in terms of being in the collaboration of co-creating this desire. And then there’s the step that is the hardest, which is trusting and surrendering.

There’s so much we wanna do, particularly when it comes to bringing children into the world where we wanna control the timing. And if you’ve ever seen me give a talk or read any of my books over the last eight years, you’ll know that I was on a journey of conceiving from 35 until when I was 39 and delivered my son.

And then there was much more even beyond that. So the gift I wanna give you today is first was really taking in this idea that your child is a spirit and that spirit chooses their own time, and they choose you. They will choose you, and they will choose the when and the how. They’re also choosing the vessel through which they come through.

So it may be that the baby’s ready, you’re ready, but body isn’t ready yet. Right? So if you’re adopting, just hear me out when I say this, and I know that you can hear it because you’re a Dear Gabby listener, but this orchestra of connection has to all be in sync, and so it’s not on your time. This soul is choosing the when, the how. The soul is choosing you and your partner as the father.

But they also wanna choose the vessel through which they come, cuz there’s a contract there too. So giving the soul permission to come when that baby is ready. Keep doing what you’re doing, of cultivating the feeling and setting the stage and preparing the community. And very, very, very powerful that you’re doing such creative work.

But I want you to get into a space of just giving the sole permission to choose his or her own time. Because when we are in that place of it’s gotta be now, it’s gotta be that. I always say to young women, in their mid thirties, I’m like, if you’re not, you know, hooked up yet, or even if you are and you wanna wait, freeze your eggs, freeze your eggs, it’s like always my advice because I’m like, oh, I wish, this is the one advice I wish I’d given myself.

And then I correct myself and I say no. If I had frozen my eggs, my son Oliver wouldn’t be my son. I wouldn’t have delivered at 39. So I really wanna acknowledge that the timing brings you the divine soul that is meant to be in your life. So I encourage you right now to just start to talk to the soul.

And so, maybe every night before you go to bed with your partner, it sounds like you have a partner that’s open to this stuff. Is that right?

CALLER 1: Yes. Yes.

GABBY: So if you guys could sit together in a sacred space in some way, and just talk to the soul every day and just be like, okay, baby, you come whenever you’re ready. We’re, we’re waiting for you. We’re getting ready for you. And just stay in that energy. It really gives one, the soul permission to come when it’s ready and it’s gonna come when it’s ready anyway, so you can get over that.

But it also lets you off the hook and it gives you the freedom to trust, and it also gives you a conscious awareness of what’s possible. Because sometimes we think, oh, has to be this way and this time, and that actually blocks the true manifestation. If I had frozen my eggs and had a baby at 35, I wouldn’t have my incredible life soul partner Oliver, who genuinely, I mean, he is like my soul connected to this child.

So trust, trust that this isn’t on your time. This isn’t your choice. It’s another human life choosing you. Take that. And believe it. Take it and believe it, baby. Take it and believe it. Okay.

CALLER 1: Well, thank you so much, Gabby. I appreciate it.

GABBY: Thank you, my love. Okay, let’s see who’s next.

[AD BREAK]

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So I’m in the city this week and I’m working and I’ve got my kid who’s on his spring break and I’m kind of juggling between momming and working and moving into the studio and recording and it’s just like, it’s a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. And with that, sometimes I forget to eat. So I have made it a commitment to bring with me wherever I go in my handbag. Perfect bar.

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[END AD BREAK]

GABBY: Hi, sweetness. How you doing?

CALLER 2: I’m great. I, yeah, this seems to be a reoccurring issue for me. I have been working very hard in building this concept, this world, for myself. And about three years ago, well, pretty much when the pandemic started, I started to follow the signs from the universe to follow this, whatever this is in my soul.

And I know I meant for something and it’s, it’s hard because I’ve been investing so much time and energy into again what the universe is giving me signs to follow. And it’s so hard because I’ve been trying to launch products and coaching and all these things that I know can help people so much, but you know, I’m not getting that return on investments.

And is it the universe telling me to be patient?

GABBY: No, it’s that you’re looking for an R, an ROI from the universe. So I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna back you up here, baby. Okay?

CALLER 2: Okay.

GABBY: At least twice in your conversation to me, you said it’s so hard. You started by saying that you’re working so hard, but not getting the results.

That’s the problem. It’s not that hard work isn’t part of the process of creating the world that we want, but when that hard work is fun and joyful and elevating and creative and exciting, that’s when we’re manifesting.

When that hard work feels hard, that’s when we are blocking the manifestation. The other adjustment we need to make here is that you’re also looking for the ROI from the universe, but what if the ROI actually came from how you feel?

So I understand we have to pay our bills, we have to make money, we have to get our business going, dot, dot, dot. But if you stop focusing on how the universe is returning on your investment and you started to really look at how your investment is returning for you, how is your investment returning for you?

What is it offering? If you brought the joy back into the investment, then how different would things be? Bring the joy back into the investment? I have to catch myself often, you know, there’s times where I’m like holding so much together. I’m doing so much, and I have to redirect and say, I’m gonna just have fun.

I’m just gonna have more fun. I can trust that if I’m having fun along the way then the universe can catch up with my dreams. If I’m having fun along the way, then I can absolutely allow the universe to reveal to me what is of the highest and best. Now, love, you might be thinking, well, I gotta pay my bills. So sometimes we have to pay our bills in one way and build our other career and have fun because we’re making money here so we’re not so pressured.

So if you had a career path or a job or a part-time job that made you money, right here, right now. That gives you freedom to start to open up, to have more fun in the co-creation of this new career path. And listen, you know, I spent years speaking for free. I spent years coaching for free. I sponsored 12 women at one time in my recovery program.

All because I was living as if. I was creating, and I was in the service and joy of showing up. And so, my hope for you right now is that you can find a way to financially take the pressure off of this new career and start to have more fun in the creation of it. Don’t let it be hard work that sucks. Have it be hard work that’s fun. I work my ass off, but I’m never working and that’s what I want for you, sweetheart.

You chose a career path that you believe in that feels good. So stop looking for the universe to give you the return on your in. Let your investment be the return. Feel that energy. Feel that joy in actually investing in your dream.

How does that feel?

CALLER 2: It feels better. I definitely need these reminders cuz I get, you know, too much in the hustle mode and my whole point is to get in the flow of life. So I really appreciate you giving me a refresher on this cuz I need it.

GABBY: You are your first coaching client. So if you think that, oh the clients aren’t coming, honey, the client’s right here—you are the client.

You’re gonna teach your students how I got out of hustle mentality and back into the flow. So you have to live it first, baby. How I got out of my hustle mentality and back into the flow. This is on you. You got it? Have more fun.

CALLER 2: I’m gonna steal that tagline. Thank you.

GABBY: You can have it. And I’d like to point out the driftwood here.

You’re sitting here with someone who does coaching, podcasting, products. The universe is revealing to you not to look at me and say, oh, she’s already done it. I’m not doing it. I am your driftwood, my love. I am your driftwood. Take that in. See this moment with me in your recording studio, me in my recording studio as your driftwood.

That everything that you see in my world is possible in yours. Take that in, celebrate it. The universe is revealing to you that your investment is indeed paying back.

CALLER 2: Thank you so much.

GABBY: You’re welcome, gorgeous. Thank you. What’s the name of your podcast? How do we shout it out here?

CALLER 2: It’s called Floductivity with Cara Dempsey, and I help people understand the flow of their life.

GABBY: So sweetheart, go record, right now an episode on how you got out of the flow and you had to be reminded to get back in flow, conductivity, go do it. We have to live and practice what we preach. You’re your student. Bless you, honey.

CALLER 2: Thank you so much. Thank you.

GABBY: Thank you. Beautiful.

[AD BREAK]

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[END AD BREAK]

GABBY: Hi Sarah, how are you doing? Hi honey.

CALLER 3: I’m good. How are you? Good. I had a question, and I’m sure you get a lot of questions about infertility and trusting the universe’s timing, and we have been trying for four years. I have a feeling that our daughter will come when she’s ready and naturally, but it feels like the world puts a lot of pressure on you that once it’s been a year, you gotta do the IUI and do the IVF and you need to change your nutrition and, um…

GABBY: What’s your resistance around that?

CALLER 3: It doesn’t feel like, I don’t know what my resistance is, but I know I feel a lot of resistance. I’ve done the IUIs and I got to a point, I think it was the third or fourth try that I was like, I don’t wanna do this again. It felt like heavy energy.

GABBY: Yeah. It’s not nothing.

CALLER 3: And so I feel like she will come when she’s ready and, and I’m willing to wait.

But I also have my husband involved in this process and I feel like he would like us to try more actively.

GABBY: So have more sex?

CALLER 3: Well, not that, but more medical.

GABBY: Sure. Okay. Let me talk to you about that. From a spiritual perspective and a very, very, I have a lot of personal experience with IVF and IUI.

So, It took me three and a half years to conceive Oliver, and I conceived him with IUI and it was, uh, the second time I had an IUI. Now that’s not that common. IUI does not always work. It’s kind of the world lines up and that it works out. Yeah. But it’s helpful and it’s like a boost. So you’ve tried a few now, so I wouldn’t necessarily trust that.

To go back to that, your husband’s intuition is correct, that there’s a possibility for more intervention and it’s all about your attitude if you choose to do it. So, do you feel ready to have a baby?

CALLER 3: I guess if I’m pausing, it’s probably no.

GABBY: So that might be what we’re talking about here.

CALLER 3: Mm-hmm.

GABBY: Because IVF is there, it’s available. It sounds like you guys can afford to do it if you have been trying and it’s on the table. And it may be that the resistance isn’t necessarily the I V F. It might be your resistance to saying Yes. I am a full body yes for this child. Is that correct?

CALLER 3: Yeah. Yeah. I like the phrase that you used of like full body, because I feel like there’s part of me that is ready, but there’s part of me that’s not ready.

GABY: What’s the part that’s not ready? What is that part? What’s going on for that part?

CALLER 3: I think part of it is not feeling secure in my relationship, and I think part of it is not feeling secure in my mental health and worrying that my mental health will affect my child.

GABBY: Are you having biochemical stuff that you’re working through?

CALLER 3: So I’m on, uh, medication for bipolar. Um, and I go to therapy and we’ve tried varying medications for depression, but I have a lot of bad symptoms from the medications, so we haven’t found one that fits yet. So I’m trying adaptogens, I don’t feel completely regulated.

GABBY: Yeah. So I now, I’m getting, now with more of the story, I can give you a lot more, more understanding, so thank you for that.

I can absolutely understand why it might be scary and overwhelming to consider taking hormones, especially given your current state and you know that you’ve been trying different meds. Totally get that and I respect that and I truly respect that. And it is something to be really vocal with your doctors about if you do ever decide to do that.

To go further with the medication. I also really respect and honor your fear of passing on something or showing up, feeling not fully stable and not totally grounded in the marriage. And I will also recommend that, you know, having a child, no one’s ever really ready, but we can be readier. We can have a little bit more readiness.

So everything you’re saying is extraordinary and I think it’s very valuable and I might welcome you to consider other paths. There might be other paths that are more efficient for you. Maybe it’s having a surrogate, maybe it’s you know, or, or adopting. I’m, I’m just throwing it out there.

Because frankly, going through a pregnancy and birthing delivering can be absolutely fine for, and it has been for many, many people with mental illness. Happens every single day. I have diagnosis for mental illness and I’m here, so I never wanna take that off the table.

But you may feel like you really resonated with full body. You might feel like my full body is not a yes for that.

CALLER 3: Yeah.

GABBY: I’m open to creative possibilities because it’s, it is. It’s a real deal. And take that in. I just wanna give you that Gabby big sister suggestion to think about are there other good possibilities?

CALLER 3: Yeah. I appreciate that.

GABBY: Yeah. And I feel your relief in your voice even.

CALLER 3: Yeah.

GABBY: That there might be creative possibilities for how to bring this baby in.

CALLER 3: I think I felt resistant to creative possibilities because the baby won’t be coming from me, but I don’t think it would make me less of a mother or them less of my child if they don’t come from me.

GABBY: Your desire to be as mentally fit as you can be for your child is the only thing that matters.

CALLER 3: Hmm.

GABBY: It’s the only thing that matters. And there are beautiful humans out there who are part of a soul contract to carry a embryo, or there are beautiful humans out there who carry a child all full term and then someone else becomes the parent.

This is happening every day, and I, I just wanna give you the freedom to accept that there is possibility. And so this would be another answer to why, when we’re like, Hey, why isn’t the universe delivering? Well, because we’re so constricted in how. What if we opened up to the possibilities of more than just the how that we think it should be, and let the universe reveal to us what’s possible.

I wanna give you the opportunity to accept that that’s possible for you. Open your heart right now to creative possibilities. How does that feel in your body? When I say that?

CALLER 3: It feels like there’s like lightness around my heart.

GABBY: Beautiful. That’s excellent. Follow that.

CALLER 3: Okay.

GABBY: Don’t be afraid to tell your partner, this is my fear, these are my concerns. I wanna open up to some creative possibilities and see what he says.

CALLER 3: Okey dokey.

GABBY: God bless you, sweetheart. And I also wanna just thank you acknowledge how wise you are. You’re so wise to not push yourself. You’re so wise to, to trust your intuition. and to trust your body. I’m glad that we got to the full story cause there wasn’t a judgment around IVF.

It was a genuine concern, I think.

CALLER 3: Yeah, for sure.

GABBY: And that’s the real deal, baby. Doesn’t mean that you couldn’t do it. I’m not gonna take that off the table. I’m just saying that that’s real. Let’s honor it. Yeah. Excellent.

CALLER 3: Awesome. You’re amazing. Thank you.

GABBY: So your mantra, love. is I’m open to creative possibilities for my baby.

CALLER 3: Okay, I’ll write that down. I, I do like the morning pages in the morning, so I’ll start writing that down.

GABBY: Do that. Beautiful. And may you find the medication that supports you most. I’m gonna pray for that for you.

CALLER 3: Thank you.

GABBY: Because you’re doing everything else right. You really are, you’re doing it right.

Beautiful. Be proud of yourself. Thank you. Thank you. So let’s close this show. Let’s close this. The universe is always working on our behalf, and if there’s anything that you can take from today’s episode, it’s this, that we can’t wait for the universe to give us the return on our investment. We have to invest in our own inner world.

We have to invest in our energy, our belief systems, our possibility, our faith. We have to invest in all the beliefs that we want to release so that we can step into the truth of what it is that we are ready to claim. And when we make that inner investment our priority, then the return will come in a way that’s far greater than you could ever have imagined.

So take that in, and I hope this show really supports you and helps you relax and helps you see that there’s possibilities beyond your control and your need and your way. I hope this serves you. See you next week on Dear Gabby.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode.

Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at @GabbyBernstein.

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Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.