Are you ready for a lesson in conflict resolution? An hour before I sat down to record this week’s episode of the Dear Gabby podcast, I was in the midst of a MAJOR conflict.
I’m talking legit sh*tstorm.
There was one woman crying, another person pounding her fist and screaming, and two little girls looking at me like I was nuts. And then there was me … the self-help author at the center of this chaos.
It wasn’t my finest moment.
I was even a little ashamed about it.
But the minute I turned on the mic and started recording, I spilled all the details to the Dear Gabby audience—even the ones that weren’t so flattering to me.
spiritual tools for conflict resolution
You see, I knew that by being radically honest about what I’d just experienced, I’d be able to share a valuable spiritual lesson.
So get ready. You’ll take away powerful tools from today’s Dear Gabby, including spiritual solutions for conflict resolution, some insight on Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS)…
And the reason why you should never, ever go to a nail salon with me.
Apart from a wild personal story, today’s Dear Gabby contains so many lessons you can use to step into your highest self (also known as Self with a capital S).
listen to this episode to learn:
- How to rebound fast from feelings of shame or blame
- The 8 qualities of Self, as taught in Internal Family Systems therapy (these are also known as the 8 Cs)
- How to quickly establish a feeling of safety for yourself and others (use this any time the sh*t hits the fan)
- A step-by-step guide to turning conflict into connection
- How to change the vibe of a whole room—just by being your Self
- The first step to setting clear boundaries (so many people have this backwards!)
the eight Cs of self energy
In the Dear Gabby community, we make feeling good a practice. We lean into positivity whenever we can. We’ve done some awesome healing work together!
But despite this, there are buried parts of all of us that feel burdened and overwhelmed. How could there not be?
We live in a world of chaos and drama, and we’re hit with one negative story after the next. That’s why it’s imperative that we care for our internal condition.
That’s where the 8 Cs of Self energy, a concept from Internal Family Systems therapy, come in. These qualities are always within you, like a self-care toolkit that you can open up at any time.
Refer to this list any time you need to get back in alignment, see instant conflict resolution or come back home to yourself.

Use this list as a spiritual tool!
When you tap into the 8 Cs of Self energy, you can turn conflict into connection, make anxiety and shame disappear and so much more.
I’m psyched for you to experience the shifts that take place when you start applying the 8 Cs and the techniques of Internal Family Systems therapy to your everyday life.
I’m going to leave you with some homework! Go out into the world, and practice the 8 C qualities. Check into what they mean to you, how they can show up for you and what those 8 C qualities feel like in your body. Then, see what happens! Let me know in the reviews.
get more gabby
The following are helpful resources and books I mention in the episode.
- In my latest book, Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace, I dive into detail about Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. Chapter 7 in particular will teach you more about this life-changing practice, but references to IFS are woven throughout the book. For more on IFS therapy, check out my Dear Gabby interview with IFS founder Dick Schwartz.
- If you feel you need additional support, please consult this list of safety, recovery and mental health resources. I’m proud of you for your commitment to self-care.
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disclaimer
This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.