The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here, this podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey towards inner. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Today’s show is so gorgeous. It’s really about relationships and manifesting in relationships. There’s a lot of major nuggets of how to succeed in your business and how to attract more. But the big throughline that comes through is really how we manifest and attract more in our relationships.

What I believe when it comes to relationships, is that the more knowledge we have about ourselves, our history and how our history plays a role in our existing patterns and negative behavior and addictive patterns in relationships, the more we understand our past and the more we can bring freedom and peace into our existing relationships in the future. And the more we can attract that relationship that we genuinely want into our life.

So with this in mind, I have made it my mission—mission mission mission—to help educate as many of you as possible about your attachment style. Your attachment style is the way that you show up in relationships, sometimes. If you have an anxious attachment style, you might be the kind of person that shows up and says, “Hey, uh second date, I’m here with my luggage ready to move in.” If you have an anxious attachment, you need that bond.

If you’re someone who has an avoidant attachment style, when somebody gets close to you, you run for the hills. There’s secure attachment styles and if you have a secure attachment style, you typically are really confident in relationships. And the more awareness you have about your own attachment style, the easier it will be to navigate all the relationships in your life. Particularly romantic ones.

So I created a quiz. It’s the What’s Your Attachment Style Quiz. You can head over to deargabby.com/attachment to take the free 2-minute quiz and learn what your style is. Learning my attachment style was the number one thing that helped me in my relationships more than anything. And not just in my romantic relationship—my co-workers, my friendships, every relationship in my life. It helped me so much that I’m so happy I can share this with you. Head over to deargabby.com/attachment and the free 2-minute quiz today. Thank me later.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Welcome back. I have a really beautiful, special, Big Talk for you today. It’s an episode with one of my favorite people, someone I met through the internet, which is often how I make friends but a friend that I met; she is a very extraordinary jewelry designer, a shining light in the world.

Probably one of the most kind, generous and really caring friends. And we’ve been friends from afar for many years, but she is one of those folks that you know, will show up for you whenever you are in need, or if you are needing some support. This woman is there. This is my beautiful friend, Jen Meyer.

She’s the founder of Jennifer Meyer jewelry. The beautiful line that I’m sure many of you have seen out there in the world and her credentials are really big, but what’s most important about Jen is that she’s a ray of light. She’s someone that I felt I’ve known since I was a child. And I feel like I would’ve gone to sleep away camp with her.

We actually did go to college at the same time in the same school, but we didn’t know each other then unfortunately, and I’ve been admiring her for a really long time. And I was a huge fan of her Jennifer Meyer collection, her fine jewelry company. And she makes the most beautiful pieces that are entangled with purpose and love. You can go check her out on Instagram—Jen Meyer jewelry.

I brought Jen on to talk a little bit about her experience, practicing the manifesting challenge, really how she opened her heart to these spiritual practices. She is a friend, but she also became one of my greatest students. But the coolest thing that happened here, you know, students like friend student, she would get on the phone with me and we’d talk about these manifesting methods. And then she would go apply them. And then she’d come back to me and be like, oh my God, Gabby. It works. But what happened on this conversation in this Big Talk is that Jen actually turned and flipped the switch.

She became my teacher and I’m not kidding. This woman is incredibly inspiring and she’s an ultimate Super Attractor. In this big talk, Jen really proves that even going through a painful divorce or breakup can be a really beautiful act of love. She shares how she used the concept of spiritual driftwood that we’ve talked about on the show many times.

And this is what she’s gonna reiterate today on the show to embrace her ex-husband’s new girlfriend and him and the new family dynamic and how applying a solution-oriented mindset to her business helped her succeed and completely skyrocket her business and she gives a lot of big manifesting relationship advice, firsthand advice from her own experience of practicing these methods in her life.

And I mean, it, when I tell you, you’re going to want to listen to this episode all the way through, you might even listen to it twice. The spiritual nuggets that she keeps giving are just like mind-blowing. I’m like tweet that, Instagram, that it’s so good. And you’re gonna walk away from this episode, feeling really inspired.

You’re gonna be feeling open to new possibilities, and you’re gonna remember that you too are a super attractor. So let Jen’s high vibe elevate you today. And if you’re struggling in a relationship or wanting to manifest more in your existing relationships or attract a relationship, this episode, it’s gonna rock your world.

Enjoy the show.

GABBY: Let’s start with the fact that I’m genuinely obsessed with you. I met you how many years ago now? What? Three years ago? Four years ago.

JEN: Yeah. I mean, pre pandemic, pre pandemic, so whatever that is.

GABBY: We met for lunch in, in person with lots of people around. And I fell in love with you from the moment that I met you.

And it was such a, a moment of like, we should have gone to camp together and been best friends at camp and like should still be best friends now. And why didn’t we know each other at school, when we were at Syracuse.

JEN: It was like love at first sight.

GABBY: It was love at first sight. And I also just admire from the get-go, your devotional willingness to feel good. Like to just live your best fucking life. It was just, it was like, I saw that in you and there are certain people in my life that I’ve met that just really embody joy and are deeply committed and devoted to feeling good, no matter what’s going on around them. And that’s, and then you carry that.

And so let’s just begin there.

JEN: Thanks, Gab.

GABBY: We met, you know, we met when you were in a little bit of turmoil in your life and that’s why we met, I think, right?

JEN: Yeah. I, the universe did bring us together. I mean, for sure the universe brought us together in the weirdest of ways. And I know I’ve said it before, but I was going through a moment and I was scrolling through podcasts and I was like, somebody bring me something that I need to hear.

And I landed on yours with Oprah and I kind of fell in love with you immediately. And I was like, I need to find this girl. And I looked you up on Instagram and you happened to follow me, which I was like, what?

GABBY: I was a super fan.

JEN: And thank you. And I immediately DMed you sitting in this parking lot saying, I listened to your podcast. It spoke to me. You’re wonderful. And you wrote me right back and said, I’ll be in LA next week. You wanna have lunch? And I just thought what? This is incredible. And that was the beginning of this beautiful friendship.

GABBY: We got really nerdy about manifesting and you have this, so you have the superpower quality of a super attractor, which is the desire to feel good, right?

That’s like already ingrained in who you are. And then you started to just become a super attractor that just wanted to bring it in, bring it in and bring it in. And so at that turning point in your life, as it relates to manifesting and creating the life that you want and the life that you have now versus where, when we met and experiences that you’re having.

What do you think is the biggest shift that you made?

JEN: Well, I think you’re right. I think that I really just love feeling good. And I think we all love feeling good, but I think what you do, which is so beautiful is you put that into words and it’s not just, you, you explain the feeling, you explain that there’s ways to let it in, there’s ways to manifest it. There’s ways to like block out the noise and when the noise comes, there’s also ways to let it in to show you what you want to be better, what you want to adjust, what you wanna know. Hey, that doesn’t feel great, but thank you for showing it to me.

And you gave me all these little tools that really you’re saying to everybody, you guys all have these tools inside of you. They all exist, but here’s how to like hone in on them. And yeah, it was a crazy time of my life and oh my God, it is so much better now. I don’t even know what to say.

GABBY: I think what you just said is actually one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard someone say about manifesting, and I don’t think you even realize it.

You said there’s ways to let it in. And what’s so awesome about what I just got chills when you said it. I was like, what? Yeah, because the, the idea that we already have it in us around us, that grace, that feeling good. And there’s ways, methods to let it in. And you’ve been letting it in and letting it in and letting in.

So where I met you three years ago, you’re in the opposite situation now, super happy, super, super elevated. And you were able to see that difficult situation in your life and that difficult time in your life as a turning point, not as like a victim mentality.

JEN: Oh my God. I’m so grateful for it. I can’t even tell you.

I, I think all the times in my life that I look back on that I thought were awful and terrible, or I felt shitty, or I felt sad or I felt scared or whatever the case may be. Like, those actually were some of the best times in my life because it gets me to. I mean, I couldn’t be happier right now. You said to me this morning, you’re like, how are you feeling right now?

I’m like, amazing. And it really is deep that feeling, that feeling is deep. But you’ve talked to me many times where I did not feel amazing.

GABBY: But you were so brave and willing to do whatever it took to continue to let it in, to let it in. That’s your words, let it in. I love that.

It was such a big moment that you just said that.

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GABBY: Now there was another time in your life. And there’s, you’ve mentioned that there’s of course we all have times in our life that are really difficult. And one, that’s obviously a common, very hard time in life is divorce. And you believe once again, your desire to feel good, your desire to make good out of something uncomfortable has led you also to this like incredibly beautiful divorce that turned into this amazing co-parenting friendship and family really.

JEN: Yeah.

GABBY: And so for so many of our listeners have gone through divorce going through divorce. I just wanna hear a little bit about your journey, because I think that it’s so valuable for people to hear and whether they’re getting a divorce or not, whether it’s a breakup or whether it’s just changing a job, change is difficult. And how can we make it work?

JEN: No change is so hard. You know, I think specifically with your question with my divorce; divorce doesn’t happen overnight. You usually don’t wake up one morning and think, oh, we we’ve been really happy for 10 plus years and today let’s get divorced. Things happen gradually and people over time, the relationship starts to deteriorate or you start to not work in the same ways and you, the love changes or whatever the case may be.

You know, I had been with Toby for 14 years. I was a little kid and this is all I knew. And we built this beautiful family together and had these two incredible kids. And I knew that our feelings have changed for each other.

I also knew that we really loved each other, that we really respected each other, that we really loved our family. But I also knew that we both knew it without really saying it. Over time, we realized like this marriage had taken its course, but I had grown up. I mean, my parents are divorced, you know, I know a lot of people who are divorced and although my parents did an amazing job, I wanted a completely different divorce and I had never been shown how to do it.

I had never been shown. This is the way divorce can be truly. I hope she doesn’t mind me saying this. So I’m just gonna say it because I say it to her face all the time. The first time I witnessed a beautiful divorce and a beautiful separation was with Gwyneth and Chris. And that was right at the time that Toby and I were breaking up and nobody had known that Toby and I were breaking up.

So I really didn’t have help or tools. And I had my small group of best friends who were incredible, but I was scared. I didn’t know what I, it was a whole different life. And I said to Gwyneth, I was like, what do I do? This is beautiful. We sort of copied her. I, I have to say, I mean, she gave me an amazing name of somebody who could really help us.

And I remember saying to Toby, like we had just broken up and it was like, you know, at that moment it was like, oh, this is not fun. It was some tough days right at the beginning. And I had said, I really want you to consider starting couples therapy with me with this new person, this guy, Dr. Habib Sade. I’ll just, fuck it. Say his name too.

GABBY: Yeah, say his name.

JEN: And I said, I’d love you to consider starting couples therapy with me for this breakup. He’s like. What, what are you talking about? We’re gonna, we’re breaking up and we’re gonna start couples therapy. And he was ready and he was willing.

And I think that one thing I can say. You do need both people to come to the table.

GABBY: Yup, amen.

JEN: To, to keep your family together. And one thing I knew about Toby and I is that we loved our children more than anything in the world. And we didn’t wanna go through any custody battles and we didn’t wanna go through any fighting.

And we really loved each other. There had, there was nothing ugly in our divorce. There was no cheating. There was nothing ugly, bad mean. It was just like two people who started out as kids. And we grew in different ways and we grew separately and we grew together and I have to say that I was lucky enough to have a friend like Gwyneth, who was like, I got you.

Like, I’m gonna show you how this is done. It’s beautiful what she created. I mean, it’s absolutely beautiful. And obviously, you have to do your own work and Toby and I, I said it before, but like we do the work and the work is really hard, but we. One thing we do not do is ever give up on each other and we put our relationship above everything.

So then we can have the relationship we want with our children as a family. I mean, do I look tan because I just got off like an eight-day vacation. It was me, Toby, Ruby, and Otis. The four of us just like took off together. Totally. Mm-hmm.

GABBY: Jen. Oh my God. I have full-body chills. Wow.

JEN: And it was it not. Not a wrinkle. It was a perfect trip. It, we had the best time together and it was like, it literally was like, it was like traveling with my brother, you know what I mean? And he would, he would definitely say the same thing, you know, and we just got each other’s back.

There have been really hard moments or there has been moments where we’ve been angry at each other or frustrated with each other, or thinks that somebody’s not parenting in the way that the other one would want the other one to parent. Yeah. I mean, I could give a whole list of things and really, really taking the time to listen to each other, not fight with each other, hear each other’s side.

I would literally do anything in the world for him. He has been, he is the greatest ex-husband on planet earth. I mean, I know I can count on him. It’s true. It’s like I could count on him for anything and everything. And I know I can for a lifetime.

GABBY: What I love most about what you’re saying is a lot of times people get a divorce and they just give up on the marriage.

They’re like, okay, we’re done. Bye. You’re like, let’s now get into therapy. Right? Like, let’s do the work right here right now. And not just for the kids, for you, for your wellbeing, for your future relationships, for his future relationships, for your family and connection. I mean, what an interesting, I can’t imagine that that’s a typical thing for women or men that get divorced.

It’s like, okay, moving on. Not gonna invest in this anymore. Where you did the opposite. You’re like, I am going to invest in this relationship for myself, for him and for our children. And wow.

JEN: I think it’s, but I do think it’s what you said. It’s about manifesting. We all see things that other people have. Right? And you’ve talked about this a lot, whether it’s an amazing job, whether it’s an amazing relationship, whether it’s an amazing house, whether it’s whatever the case may be. I don’t really know, but we all see other things which we think, Ooh, how do I let that into my life?

Right? So I got the opportunity to see a friend and her divorce and decided, okay, I’m gonna manifest that. I don’t know how I’m gonna manifest it. I don’t know what I’m gonna do, but I will tell you something about manifesting for myself. I kept my eye on the prize and the eye and the prize for me was a happy, healthy, fractured, but together family.

GABBY: Yeah.

JEN: And nothing was gonna get in the way of that. For me, I was gonna be a family with Toby and my children gor the rest of my life, cuz that was my only option. I am not gonna like, I wanna be with my kids every single holiday. And if I start fighting with Toby, he’s gonna have them one Thanksgiving.

I’m gonna have them one Christmas, one that forget it. I’m not doing it. I don’t wanna do it. I wanted us to all be together. And I also like, remember, there’s a reason why Toby and I met, there’s a reason why we came together. Like…

GABBY: You made these children, you started this family. Yeah.

JEN: Yeah. I’m stuck with him. So make the best of it or don’t like…

GABBY: What’s also cool is you’ve used Gwyneth and Chris as sort of driftwood as we’ve talked about. Right. So it’s like you saw you’re going through this breakup and you see in your friend, who’s very publicly talking about conscious uncoupling and really being very, very forthcoming.

And brave to talk about her divorce. And you’re like, rather than looking at and being like, oh, well that’s just for her. Or that’s just them because of their relationship. You’re like, no, no, no. That’s actually showing me what’s possible. And there’s two ways we can go when we see people who have what we want.

We can say, oh, well I can’t have that. So I’m just gonna be the victim. Or we can say, no, no, I want that. And I’ll do whatever it takes to get to that spot. Is also where I think you are right now, you know, it’s like, you’ve been wanting to feel alive and connected, and you’ve gotten that again. You know, you are a genuine super attractor, my friend.

I wanna take a quick ad break with you for a moment to talk about my shoes. I mean it, listen, I know that sounds silly, but when you find those shoes that feel comfortable and look chic and allow you to walk around the streets of the city or wherever you live in the world. It’s something to celebrate.

It truly is. And I have a new shoe obsession and I’ve really never found anything more comfortable to walk around in. And I walk maybe 12,000 steps a day when I’m in New York City. This is my new favorite shoe. Rothy’s. They have so many colors that you can wear from season to season without going out of style, you may have heard of the point and the flat from Rothy’s, but they also make insanely comfortable sneakers, loafers, ankle boots, and more.

I wear the point with everything, pretty much everything. People magazine named The Point, the best flat for their first-ever style awards in 2021. It’s no wonder millions of women wear Rothy’s shoes every single day. I’m a lifer with Rothy’s and the best part is everything Rothy’s makes is better for the planet.

They’ve repurposed millions of single-use plastic bottles into their signature thread that goes into every single one of their products. If you’re looking for ultimate comfort, style and major durability. This is your shoe. Oh, and did I mention that you can wash them? It’s amazing. They look brand new after you wash them.

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GABBY: You’ve done a lot of super attracting in your career as well. Your career is major and you’ve really put an imprint on the jewelry space, but also someone who’s creating mindful art, truly. You know, there’s like a meaning and an intention behind what you create because you’re creating something that someone can wear that has an energy frequency.

Not just because of the precious gems or what you’re using, but really because of the intention that’s behind the art.

JEN: So listen, I’m all about luck and love and good energy and like, listen, I’m wearing my good luck charm right now. I never take off my good luck charm. We wanna surround ourselves with love.

We wanna surround ourselves with happiness and good fortune and protection and just remind ourselves every day we got this. You know what I mean? Like you wanna let love into your life, let love into your life. You wanna feel lucky. You are lucky. You know what I mean? You wanna feel protected. You’re protected.

Like just feel it and know it. And I think when I design my jewelry, I always think like turquoise, it’s a very protective stone who doesn’t love a diamond? Like I’m all, I’m happy to feel a little blingy and beautiful in my diamonds and then the good luck charm or the evil eyes that I do, or a lot of hearts.

I just think that there’s always some sort of intention behind it that I design.

GABBY: Again, another manifesting method. It’s like intention, intention, intention. If the intention behind the work is just backed with energy. Then it’s gonna have a frequency that, you know, one time a mentor of mine said that the energy that I put into every word that I write in my books will have a, it will be imprinted in every reprint of the book.

So every page has that same intention in it. And I would say that every time a new piece of jewelry is made in the factory, some of my friends who are your buyers and, you know, they, they say like, oh, I feel this with this wishbone. So you’ve had this high vibe energy, but of course, as an entrepreneur and you’ve been an entrepreneur for a long time and it’s a successful one at that, what’s been one of your hardest hurdles? And how did you think you overcame it?

JEN: I think. Hmm, that’s a good question. I don’t really know how to answer that question. I think that whenever I face anything that could possibly be a hurdle, I’m just like, you know what? Keep on going. You gotta look at things as like a math problem. There’s a solution to everything.

So you can’t stop and freak out or get upset or lose it. I mean, I had Barney’s close in the middle of it being, you know, my number one account at the time, lot of jewelry disappeared and a lot of money was lost and you know, that could have been something that really set me back. But in that moment it was like we pivoted and it was like, we went online ourselves and we opened our store and we did all these other things that, you know what, became way more successful than Barney’s ever was.

GABBY: And set you up for the pandemic and everything else that was coming.

JEN: Yeah. Who knew? Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, I think you just gotta look at things like, okay, here’s the problem. We’re finding a solution, not there’s a problem, and we’re gonna like crawl into a ball and cry.

GABBY: You and I share that quality. It’s like, I am a solution seeker, not a problem fault finder. And it’s definitely a super attractor quality. So that’s a good lesson for everybody listening. It’s like the moment that the issue arises, it’s like what, what’s the solution we can find?

And I mean, I’m in that situation right now and something, just, something just shifted in our business and it’s like, okay, well, how are we gonna, how are we gonna fix it? You know, what’s the next thing?

JEN: Exactly. Exactly. You can’t regret the things you can’t control.

GABBY: So, you know, when I met you, you were, you were having, you were having some desires for different energy in your relationships. And now you’ve manifested that. And we don’t have to get into the details by any measure, but you happen you’re, you’re, you’re in a, in a situation that you’ve fully attracted.

And what do you think are some of the methods that you applied that really helped you just very, very elegantly and faithfully manifest this love that you are now enjoying or this romance that you’re now enjoying?

JEN: I know I’m so happy. And I really don’t like talking about my personal life, even though I know I already talked about Toby, although I’m very like, you like to keep your like special things close to your heart.

GABBY: Yeah. You don’t even need to talk about the actual relationship, but how did we get Jen? How did Jen find herself in that energetic point of attraction to actually become that frequency, that matches up with someone that’s really, you know, in, in that alignment with you?

JEN: Listen, this sweet angel came into my life and I’m so grateful and happy and lucky.

And I can’t, I’m like, is this too good to be true? Cuz it’s. It really is so special. I guess if I’m gonna look back, right? If you look back on things and you think, how did I get so lucky right now and how am I in this beautiful relationship? And I think there’s a couple things which I have. I’m just thinking as we’re talking, I think number one, when Toby had met somebody.

And he had a relationship and I mean, we spent birthdays with her and Christmas morning and all these things. And I think I was like, this is his moment. This is great. I’m fully on board rather than thinking I don’t have someone. This is a bummer. I don’t like this. Why I’ve gotta do this. It was like all of a sudden we were a party of five on vacation and doing all this.

And I was like, great. She’s lovely. Awesome. This is he’s happy. Like great. Let’s jump in. And I think that letting like blessings flow to other people, your blessings will flow to you. I didn’t think about it at the time, cause I’ll never, I would never do that out of like, well, if I do this for him, I’m gonna get it.

But ever that’s you also can’t think like that, but I really believe you gotta. Let it all flow. Like the universe is on your side, like whatever’s happening is gonna happen for the good. And I think like the other thing I can say is if you’re in a shitty situation, if you’re in a relationship or let’s just take a relationship, for example, like if you’re in a relationship that is not working for you, that is not serving you, that keeps coming back around into your life and it still doesn’t work for you.

Get the fuck out. Like, I don’t know what to say, but honestly, like get the fuck out because it’s not gonna fucking get better. And you are just blocking yourself from all the goodness that can come into your life. And I think that there was just a, a moment in my life where I was so happy and I was on my own and I was looking for nothing.

There was not anything that I, I was just like, oh, life is great. I don’t want anything. I don’t need anything like relationship or not, I’ve got the most amazing friends. I’ve got the most amazing kids, work is going incredible. I work with the best people like everything’s good and things fall out of the sky.

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GABBY: Well, so let me unpack, literally, first of all, you’re my spiritual teacher. Jen Meyer is my guru and here we go. Ready? What you just said, I’m gonna unpack it and actually layer it almost like steps because you just epically defined the path to attracting. So the first thing that you said was letting blessings flow to other people, they will flow to you.

So just celebrating that blessings are flowing to other people will bring them to you. Boom. I mean, Jen Meyer, we are gonna be going viral with your quotes. Okay. So there we go. First thing, that was a big, big, big moment. So she wasn’t gonna take her ex-husband’s relationship as like, oh, I’m a victim. He’s got the partner.

I don’t have the partner. Woe is me, but instead celebrate it, girlfriend. Bam. Good one. You talked about clearing the space, right? So if it ain’t working, get the fuck out. And that takes time and we sometimes will go back and go back and back. But eventually, we gotta do the work on ourselves to get to the place where we believe we can walk away.

And that is a major thing. We’ve got our attachment quiz right now. So I wanna definitely say, if you are somebody who continues to go back to the same kind of partner, it’s important to know what your attachment style is, or if you keep attracting the same kind of partner in your life, know what your attachment style is.

Go to deargabby.com/attachment. Save your life right now. And then, you know, the biggest manifesting method of all when you’re manifesting love. And Jen, this is the coolest podcast everyone’s so psyched about it is this embodiment of being in joy even when you, the manifestation isn’t there yet.

JEN: Yeah, which is hard.

GABBY: It’s hard, but then you flipped the switch, right? So you decided I’m gonna focus on joy. You decided I’m gonna focus on the good stuff rather than the lack. And so by focusing on the abundance in your life, you then became a, a super attractor for more abundance, AKA this new relationship.

So I really need to highlight this for everybody here. Jen doesn’t matter how much you’ve got going on or how much you don’t have going on in your life. Literally doesn’t matter your circumstances whatsoever. You could have been Jen Meyer with all the best friends in the world, the thriving career, and still be sitting around pissed off all day because you don’t have the relationship.

There’s plenty of people out there doing that. Right? There’s plenty of people out there doing that, but instead she was like, nope, I’m gonna focus on the good stuff. And I wanna really point this out doesn’t matter what your circumstances are. You could be in the most, the worst circumstances in the world, but still focus on what is thriving and you’re gonna create more of what you want, period. End of story.

So Jen said I’m gonna focus on the good stuff. I’m gonna focus on my career. I’m gonna focus on my friendships. I’m gonna focus on my marriage. I’m not gonna be looking for the lack. And then, boom, she’s saying that this angelic person fell out of the universe.

No, the angelic person was now able to meet your frequency. Because he was already there at that frequency. And now your frequency is so high vibe and it’s just like, that’s the law, the law of attraction. Boom. Here we are.

JEN: And you know, I also have to say like, you think in your head, you know what you want, or if you, what what’s on paper, right?

You think in your head like, okay, I really wanna check these boxes or like, this is what I’m looking for. You just really gotta be open because it comes, what you are attracting comes in all kinds of forms. And I was surprised about, I didn’t know this was what I was manifesting, but I, it was, and it’s perfect.

GABBY: But you had your non-negotiable list.

JEN: Yes, I had my non-negotiable list.

GABBY: So let’s talk about that for a moment. So you, cuz that when you have that list of what’s nonnegotiable for your desire, then you can stay open because you don’t wanna be so open that you just start attracting all the same stuff that you used to attract.

So tell us about your not, you don’t have to list but just what did that mean to you to have that list of non-negotiables?

JEN: I think that it is really important. Like you said, I, we all have habits, right? So there is a reason people go for the things they’ve gone for their whole lives or in multiple relationships or whatever it may be.

Right? Or being in a shitty relationship, like why we, nobody wants to be in a shitty relationship. So why do people stay in shitty relationships? I don’t know. You know, we could unpack that for days and days. I know you unpack it all the time, but when you’ve said to me, and I did it years ago. Like make your list of non-negotiables.

I think it is beautiful to look at something and think what are non-negotiables? It’s not like tall, dark and handsome. That’s a stupid non-negotiable right? You know what I mean?

GABBY: It’s loyal. It’s you show up. It’s you like my family it’s you know you’re. Yes.

JEN: Exactly. You love my children. You accept that. I have baggage. I have an ex-husband. I have kids like you are loyalty is hardcore. You know what I mean?

GABBY: Mm-hmm, like you show up and you call back and yeah, exactly.

JEN: Trusting, not making somebody feel uncomfortable or like wondering, oh, that’s so weird. Or why do I feel that way? Or where are they or whatever the case may my list of non-negotiables. It’s not very long. It’s pretty simple.

GABBY: Oh yeah, no, it’s specific and simple, but it’s. Yeah. And it can be long, but it doesn’t have to be. So for the listener, what is a list of non-negotiables? If you’re trying to attract romance into your life, you wanna make a list.

The list can be here’s what is good? You know, like he’s tall, dark and handsome, or he’s got money or what, whatever the, or she, or whatever.

JEN: By the way, let me be clear. This new wonderful angel happens to be tall, dark and handsome. That was just a bonus.

GABBY: That’s just the bonus. Icing on the cake. So yes, you can be clear.

I want all these things, but what’s non-negotiable and that non-negotiable is gonna be there loyal that non-negotiable has a lot to do with your morals and your values, how you wanna be treated as a person, how you res, how you respect yourself. And that non-negotiable list also is how you wanna be in the relationship.

And so we, we get a lot of value out of having that list because that list will keep us in our lane and help us not attract with the same old, same old, and really call in what it is that we genuinely desire. And then the, all the other stuff that we’re looking for is icing on the awesome cake. And Jen Meyer you, my friend are a hot mama, super attractor that I am so proud to have been a friend along the way to witness.

JEN: Amazing friend. You are. You’re an amazing friend. I did your challenge. And what is the challenge called?

GABBY: The manifesting challenge, by the way, we’re doing the relationship challenge in October baby. And so just like you went to therapy with Toby, when you got divorced, do the relationship challenge, even though you’re in this amazing relationship just to like knock it up to the next level.

I mean, so that’s starting in October, relationship challenge, girlfriend.

JEN: But I did your manifesting challenge and I gave it to my friends and I gave it as gifts because it was incredible. Then I did it the second year also, because it really is true. Like if you stop every day just for a minute, just for a minute and know that, like you have all the power to make your life wonderful.

I mean, you really, really do. And even on the hard days, that’s really, when you gotta get into it, you know what I mean? It’s like just stop and don’t worry. Like, yeah, it’s all gonna be good.

GABBY: It’s all gonna be] good. It’s all about the, it works. If you work it mm-hmm and have fun along the way, have fun along the way.

This story of where we met to where we are right now is a massive celebration of transformation and stepping into what it is that you wanna claim. I’m really, really proud to be the witness. And I’m also just, so my heart is just so open and happy for you. This, there was this meme I saw once Jen and I gotta find it for you.

And it was like, you know, those friends that have like sunshine, just like, I can’t remember. It was like sunshine, just like coming outta their ass and they make you feel so good or something like that. My team will know. I tagged, I tagged Carrie who’s one of our team members. Who’s just, is that, but you’re that too.

Like, you’re just like this, like this ball of sunshine, just like beaming out to the world that makes everyone around you feel elevated. I’m just so proud to be your friend.

JEN: That’s sweet. Well, you’re amazing.

GABBY: I’m going to find the actual meme, like you’re not sunshine out the ass, but there was something major that was so perfect.

And it defines you. Oh my God.

JEN: But, but let’s be honest, you met me and it was dark. It was shitty and it was dark and it was awful. And so like, all I can say is like, when you think it’s really hard and you think it’s really shitty and you think like you’re really in a sad place, let me just tell you that is where the good shit starts to happen.

That is all I can say.

GABBY: Mm-hmm yeah, because then you’re willing to do the work. Yeah. And that willingness got you here. My love, well, Jen Meyer, I’m obsessed with you. I love you. And I want to just shout you out. So obviously Jen Meyer jewelry is one of the most beautiful lines I’ve experienced with so much intention and love.

And I also have to tell you that you have a perfume now that has defied all odds. My husband is the biggest perfume snob on the planet. Major limitations to what I can wear given his nose, his spidey scent and girlfriend. You nailed it. It’s Zach approved.

JEN: Zach approved. We’re good. My Syracuse’s brother.

GABBY: Your Syracuse brother. Go everybody. Just check out the jewelry room, put everything in the show notes. Everybody knows who you are. Anyway. Jen Meyer jewelry on Instagram. Just follow this beautiful golden light and give yourself permission to shine as you witness this beautiful woman, making the commitment to shine in every area of her life.

JEN: Thank you, Gabby. And thank you for guiding all of us into manifesting our perfect lives.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me.

So I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media @GabbyBernstein. And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live deargabby.com. See you next week.