The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here, this podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

I’m so psyched to start this show today. And in a lot of the episodes, we’ve been covering relationships lately. It’s a huge topic that’s up for me. Big, big news. I’m working on a relationship book. So it’s something that’s coming through in a major way. And that’s why I got really, really nerdy. And I began to get very excited about attachment science and all of the ways that our childhood experiences affected the way that we became attached to others.

And that attachment style really dictates the way we relate in romantic relationships, work relationships, friendships, familial relationships, and the more you know about your attachment style, the more freedom you have to express yourself, to heal your relationships, to just change your life completely.

That’s why I created a free two-minute quiz. What’s your attachment style? You can go over to deargabby.com/attachment. Take the quiz for two minutes. You’ll find out your attachment style. I’ll give you a whole breakdown of who you are and why you do the things you do and give you a lot of insight that will really radically change your relationships and your life.

Go check it out, take the quiz and thank me later. Deargabby.com/attachment.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back. Welcome back, my friends. I’m really excited for today’s episode. I love a bonus episode. You know, that typically what I do with my bonus episodes is I share a live talk and some of my live talks date back all the way to 2005. Yes, I am aging myself. But I did start my career at 25, but these talks have so much power.

They have so much resonance even today. And this live talk I gave back in 2014, it’s a talk that I led in a yoga studio, uptown in New York City. It was probably a group of a hundred people in the room and I was there to help the community really step into their superpower. And that superpower being your energy. When you elevate your own energy, your whole world can change.

We are vibrating at a certain frequency and when we change that frequency, everything, everything, everything elevates around us. Today’s episode is really designed to ignite that power within you, to help you claim and honor, and respect your energy to recognize that the more powerful energy, the more positive energy, the more elevated energy that you bring into your own life. The more energy you express to others. And that creates a ripple effect.

And that is actually our own individual unique ability to be spiritual activists in this world. This is a time when those of us listening to content like this have to start to raise our awareness of how much our energy has an impact around everyone around us—our social media feed, our children, our loved ones, our lovers. When we take ownership of the energy that we bring forth, we can actually make a major impact on every human that is around us and every person that we experience. That is our activism. That is our power.

My hope is that this talk will help you raise your energy and notice not just the powerful impact that that has on your attracting power and everyone around you, but the impact that it has in your community, the impact that it has in the work that you do in your messaging, into your social media feed and everything that is connected to you in your life. This episode is so high vibe.

If you have been feeling funky or you’re freaked out about the news or you’re down or all the things that we deal with today in this world that we live in. This is an episode that’s gonna just spark your light, spark your light, tune you up, get you feeling good. So keep listening, enjoy the show. Let this energy of this talk from 2014, come through the audio into your earbuds or your headphones or your computer or whatever you’re listening on, your car, whatever your Alexa, wherever you are, and just let it come through and remind you of your true superpower. Enjoy the show.

Your life is your classroom. The world is your classroom and people are your assignments. And every moment offers you an opportunity to grow and learn and wake up a little bit more and smile a little bit brighter. And strengthen your faith with more conviction or those moments offer you an opportunity to deepen your fear, create more blocks, feel stuck, hold onto resentment and tell a whole other story.

And the world that we live in tells a lot of ugly stories. Am I right? Lots of pretty scary stories. Particularly these days, we can’t deny it anymore. We’re no longer in any kind of, there’s no more bubble. There’s no more, there’s no more safe zone from hiding from the realities of the world. Even if you don’t turn on the news, you pick up the energy and the vibration of what’s happening in the world.

And so, but it doesn’t matter how much you protect your bubble. You are still vibrationally picking up the energy of the given circumstances of our times, because each individual in this room, each individual on the street, each individual in your office, each individual in your bedroom, in your home, in your community and far beyond is carrying the vibration of what’s happening in the world.

And so being in the experience of what’s happening in the world, it’s very easy, whether we realize it or not to become the victim of that energy, to unconsciously or consciously take it on. To experience it because it’s something that’s happening on a subtle level or to experience it because we’re so deeply engaged in Ebola or we’re so deeply engaged in what’s happening in the middle east, or we’re so deeply engaged in all of the stories and the news stories and all of the experiences that we’re picking up in our lives.

Now, during this break for today’s episode, I wanna take a minute to talk to you about my favorite break-time snack, the Perfect Bar. When this sponsor came to the table, my producer, Sam lost her mind. She was like, oh, I love that bar. I can’t wait for you to try it. And so I had some bar sent to me and hooked, hooked, hooked, and I’m really excited that we’re partnering with them because now one of my favorite go-to refrigerated snacks is the Perfect Bar.

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That’s perfectsnacks.com/gabby to get a free Perfect Bar today. Happy snacking.

Today’s sponsor is Zocdoc. This is a brand that has really come in handy for me. Big time. Think about it like this. Before I go into a restaurant, I always spend so much of my time poring over lists and lists and lists of reviews. I wanna make sure that I’m going somewhere that’s really good. Something that I can trust the produce, having a great experience.

I really care about reviews. As I was finding a place to go to for brunch one day. And of course, going over the reviews, I ended up thinking to myself, if I put this much care into finding the right place to eat, shouldn’t I do the same amount of research when it comes to important things like booking a doctor’s appointment? With Zocdoc, I can do just that without even having to put in as much work as I do trying to find a restaurant. Zocdoc lets you see real, verified patient reviews to help find the right doctors in your network and in your neighborhood. Zocdoc is a free app that shows you doctors who are patient-reviewed, take your insurance and are available when you need them.

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Whether we’re engaged or not engaged, we’re having an experience of it. So I really wanna talk about this because I think that a lot of people and I’ve been noticing it a lot, no matter what country I’m in. I’m seeing people coming to these rooms, shaken, shaken, and their nervous system is shot. They’re they’re not only are they so stressed beyond all measure they’re in that place of that allostatic load.

Their body can no longer restore itself back to peace because they’ve gone past that reserve energy. They’re now working on the reserve energy. And it’s like, you know, you, you you’re, you’re driving your car and the oil has not been changed in a while. Right. And in addition to being in this stressed-out crazy chaotic state, they’re also so overwhelmed by what’s happening in the world.

Is anybody feeling like that? I got an oh yeah. Anybody not feeling like that? No. Good. That’s okay. If you’re not, that’s a good thing. That’s great. That’s great. I just wanna really address it because even if you’re, even, if you think that you’re not, which is likely that you could feel really good, whether you realize or not, there’s, it’s almost like, you know, when you walk into a sauna, like you have a layer of sweat that just kind of goes over you like, even if you’re not sweating yet, you still get that layer of sweat.

Right. It’s kind of, it’s still on you. It’s still present. And sometimes it may not be really in your psyche, but then all of a sudden, you just start freaking out or you feel like you’re in a pressure cooker and you don’t know why. You don’t know why. And so let’s address it. I was reading a New Yorker article about ISIS and I, I was talking to my husband over dinner about it, and in the middle of my dinner, I just started to bust into tears.

I just broke down, bust into tears, and I just started to feel so sad and so overwhelmed and so weak. My energy was weakened. And my, my thoughts were so low and my experience was just an experience of, of, of terror and sadness. And, and I, and I just, I looked at him and I was like, I, I just started going into the story about, I just feel so powerless.

And I feel so upset and I don’t know what to do about this. And I feel so disconnected because we live with all of this great stuff in our world. But then we have people in our brothers and sisters in Africa who are not in a good space or our brothers and sisters in the middle east who are not in a good space.

And I felt this level of responsibility, but a sense of responsibility to bring more joy in, into my life. Because you see the more each of us on an individual level elevates from a presence of joy, the better, an imprint and impact we have on the world. The more we elevate the individuals in our local environment, and the more that local experience has a ripple effect on a global community.

The more, we begin to vibrate at a higher frequency, the more of an impact we have on each individual and how the more impact we have on the world. And, and that is something I do not take lightly. So I sat there and I looked at my husband and I said, well, you know, I am a spiritual activist. I am someone in, in the media asked me yesterday, how do you describe yourself?

I said, I’m a spiritual activist. I am. My mission is to wake up the masses so that they can begin to vibrate at a new frequency so that the world begins to vibrate at a new frequency so that the world will no longer be a container to hold all the fucked-up stuff that’s happening. I am a spiritual activist. And so with that, I have to not just teach it, but live it.

And so in the terror of these stories, I took the responsibility upon myself to bring more joy into my life. If we have been gifted, the privilege of living in this society in this world, in this, in this country, then we have a big responsibility. We have a big energetic responsibility to the people around us and the people far, far away.

There’s beautiful studies that have been done on what happens when the collective begins to vibrate at a new frequency, or when you drop people that are high vibration people, like monks or meditators, into cities that are crime-ridden, high levels of danger, environments that are having struggling with the economy.

And you drop folks that are monks meditators, people that are vibrating in a new frequency and they meditate in those environments. The environment, the community starts to lower the crime rates. The economy begins to raise, and the whole community starts to vibrate at a whole new frequency. And, and this is the maharishi effect.

This is something that they did. They, they literally sent monks into these crime-ridden different environments and communities, and started to raise the vibration through these meditators, living in the space. And as a result, the, the whole community started to shift. And so why can’t we do that in our own environment?

Why can’t we do that in our home? Why can’t we do that in our office? And A Course in Miracles says that when one or more gather in the name of love, that’s when miracles happen. Today, we’re one or more, and we’re gathering in the name of love. We’re gathering with the intention to raise our own vibration.

We’re gathering with the intention to shift our energy and what a radical impact that will have. So let’s talk about your joy. Let’s talk about your happiness, your joy. I think a lot of people feel, does anybody feel a sense of guilt over accomplishing or, or feeling good? Anyone? I see one right here, anybody like I’m so fine with it. Bring on the joy. I’m good.

Yeah. Awesome. Amazing, good. Those of you who are the joy folks will elevate the rest of us. Thank you. Let’s hopefully we’re all gonna walk out today. My intention is for all of us to walk out of here today, committed to joy and understanding that our commitment to joy has a bit to do with us because it will make us feel better.

Our, our body will vibrate at a better energetic frequency. Our nervous system will be able to reorganize itself naturally. When we’re in a state of joy, we are healthier. When we are in a state of joy, we are kinder. When we are in a state of joy, we are much more impactful and much more powerful. The presence of joy is our greatest source of power because truthfully, there’s nothing powerful about anger, resentment, and judgment.

So think about it. When you show up to an argument or you show up to your office and you have to lead a group or in any environment where you have to sort of make a statement and you show up with your anger and you show up with your judgment and you show up with your fierceness, doesn’t really go over very well. Does it?

Even if you get what you want, you don’t really feel very good, Do you? Are you with me? That’s exactly how it goes for me. Whenever I show up and I’m in that fierceness, in that story of, I gotta get, I gotta make it happen. I gotta tell them how. That. And if there’s anger, resentment, or separation or judgment behind that intention, there’s no power there.

It’s weak. It’s it’s like a, it’s like a bobblehead screaming. That’s a great analogy. It’s literally like a little Barbie, like, ah, doesn’t work. There’s no power in that. You can show up with conviction and you can show up with a commitment to be heard and be loud and be clear and be controversial with love.

And if you show up to be controversial with love, even if people disagree, even if they push back, on a subtle level, you will be heard. And so it’s not actually what you say or what you do. It’s about how you be; it’s about the energy that you bring forth in any given situation and really owning that your presence is your power.

I had a really great opportunity to interview a mentor of mine a few weeks ago. And I did a video interview with Bob Toth, who is the executive director of the David Lynch foundation. And the David Lynch foundation teaches transcendental meditation to people all over the world. It’s a beautiful organization.

I’m a student of TM and I practice TM now. Very, very, very dedicated practice to TM. And I genuinely believe it’s a two, two meditations in the 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the afternoon. And when you go through the training, you’re given a mantra. And that mantra is a vibration that is in alignment with who you are as a person.

And so I use my meditation in the morning and I use my meditation in my Uber coming uptown, cuz you know, that took more than 20 minutes. And I, and I, and I allowed myself to just get into that state and used these tools and I’ve been what I, the great benefits that I’ve been experiencing first and foremost is just, I feel my nervous system and my overall health and wellbeing has been elevated as a result of the two meditations a day.

I feel that I’m much less irrational, slowly but surely becoming more present. See a lot of you guys, you see me in these moments, you see me on my video, blogs. You see me when I’m lecturing. This is when I am the most present.

This is when nothing else matters. This is when I am the most in alignment with spirit. This is when I’m the most joyful. I’m not always like this outside. I’m not, some of my friends are here. They know I’m like, oh, I gotta just Instagram on this before we go to dinner, you know.

So that’s the truth. You know, this is where I feel the most aligned. I was in my therapy yesterday and I started crying about something and like maybe like three seconds of tears. And I was like, and then, you know, it could be like this. And she was like, whoa, can you just be in the experience of those tears and that breakthrough that took you 35 fucking years to get to, can you just be in it for a second?

So your spiritual teacher is not very present.

That’s what makes me a good teacher is that I live in the world in a real way. And I’m very, very aware of all of my shortcomings and I’m very aware of all the ways that I tune out. And I’m very aware of how I come back home. And I’m very aware that I detoured from the Bob Roth story.

Now let’s just take a quick break from today’s episode, because I wanna share with you an amazing sponsor that we have right here right now, Botanic Tonics. As many of you know, I am coming up on 17 years of sobriety being sober is the gift that I gave myself that changed my life forever. While I don’t regret my decision to get sober for even a second.

It can also sometimes be hard to find those celebratory drinks that we can have when we’re with friends or out to dinner or taking a vacation. I mean, for me as a sober person, I’m not gonna go have a fake wine or a fake beer. I wanna just have a little botanical beverage. This is where we enter in Botanic Tonics.

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So Bob Roth comes to my house and this is a man who’s meditated twice a day for 20 minutes a day for 45 years. Can you imagine how shiny he must be?

And I only met Bob for a four-day weekend, and I didn’t even get trained by Bob. I just had a few fleeting moments of him while when I was trained at the beach and I would go every day and I’d see him sort of on my way into my teaching, my training. And I always just felt this really good presence from him.

And I felt a connection to him, even though I’d only met him like very briefly. And so this really shiny man shows up at my door. And I opened the door and I was at the time going through some family stuff and I was feeling like really, really depleted and just really taken down before, before I went before I, right.

Like two days before I left the country and I was feeling so taken down and I was in the midst of shooting, like back-to-back videos and I opened the door and all of a sudden this rush of love comes over me, just this moment of just great, great, great magnificence and presence and peace and the smile.

I was brought to tears in my hallway, just looking at this man. He walked in and he said Gabby. And I was like, you’re shiny. And in the middle of our interview, we did like a 10-minute interview in the middle of the interview. I started crying. I was like, I’m sorry, man. I don’t know how to express this. Other than I just feel really good around you.

I just feel really good around you. And his response was that’s what happens when you meditate twice a day for 45 years. And so that’s my commitment. My commitment to you. My commitment to myself is to be in the presence of my power through my practice. And to look at the ways that I am not in alignment with what I teach at times, and to look at the ways that I get checked out and to be aware of how I lose that presence in any given moment, in any given moment and to tune back in tune back in, tune, back in.

And, and someone said to me, when I was on the road, when I was in London, they said, this, this, this beautiful woman said, well, Do you live in the light all the time? And I was like, no, but what I explained to her was that before I started on my committed spiritual journey, nine years ago, I was living in the darkness with fleeting moments of light. And through the past nine years of being on a committed, committed path, really using my tools every single day to the best of my ability, I live in the light with fleeting moments of darkness.

And so are we gonna forget about the worldly issues that we have? Are they gonna disappear? Well, they won’t disappear, but they will become less and less real to us. As we go on this journey of what I refer to as a journey of unlearning and remembering, unlearning all of the fears that we chose to believe in, unlearning the patterns that keep us stuck, unlearning the relationships that we were resentful towards and remembering forgiveness and remembering love, and remembering a shift in our thinking, and remembering that we can change our energy. As we go on that journey of unlearning and remembering, we start to live in a way where we feel more in alignment and more committed to loving thoughts and loving energy.

So much so, that when we’re out of alignment with that truth, it’s so uncomfortable that we cannot stay there. It’s so uncomfortable that we quickly have to return. I had a great example of this.

About a month ago, I did an interview with someone in Mexico and my PR sent an email. It saying, you know, go on Skype at this time. And I didn’t, I, I don’t remember. I told you, I’m always in the present moment. So I move so fucking fast, you guys; I move so fast. I move like the speed of lightning and, and, and truthfully, it’s been a great virtue in some ways, but also is, is my greatest learning device. Because I gotta slow down.

And so when I move so fast, I don’t always read these emails. I saw, you know, six o’clock, Mexico Skype, but I tell myself a story that it’s like a Skype phone call because it’s another country. So a lot of times when you just do it overseas call, it makes it cheaper. And so I’m in my, my glasses and my like sweats.

And I had like just done a Pilates class on the floor and I was just, you know, Dirty. She’s like, Ew, I was, I was, I was gross and I was dirty sweatshirt, whatever. And I get on and I get onto Skype and there’s this gorgeous like, and I’ve got, no, my video is not on. Cause I’m like, oh, I’m just doing a call right now.

And then I get on and I see this stunning Mexican woman with her beautiful makeup and her beautiful hair. And she’s like, are you ready for a video? And I was like, oh no, I’m really not. And instantly I go into this story of like the publicist didn’t tell me this was a video and, and the diva comes out.

The PR didn’t tell me, this is a video. I I’m totally unprepared for this. I have no time to do a video right now. I don’t have time to my makeup on I’m. I’m so frustrated. It’s six o’clock and I’ve been working all day. I wanna cook dinner. I mean, I, I don’t know what to do and this I’m not even exaggerating.

This is how I was speaking to this woman. And she’s like melting because. This is someone who had requested an interview with me. So she’d been reading my stuff. So she’s like, oh shit, this is not the woman I thought she was. And she’s like, yeah, I guess, I mean, that’s fine. Maybe we can find another time.

And I was like, okay, thanks. I hung up the phone and, and I walked downstairs and my husband could hear me. I have a loft. So it was like all open and he could hear me and I walked downstairs and he goes, what the hell is your problem? Why were you speaking to that woman like that? Why couldn’t you just put some makeup on and just do it?

And I looked at him and I was like, you are so right. And I checked in with my energy and I saw, I, I tested how weak I was like, my, my energy was so weak. I felt almost like I was starting to get sick like that quickly. I started to feel like my, my, my throat tickling. And I started to feel just slow.

Like I could go lie down and sleep for five hours and, had I stayed in that vibration and not chosen to rise above, I would have been sick. I would have been feeling the repercussions of that action and that vibration for probably a day, at least feeling a sense of guilt. And we talked about this last night, when we, when we turn our back, when we separate from love, we start to feel guilty because we separated from our source.

And then what we do is we project that guilt onto others. So I would’ve blamed it on the PR people I’ve been like, it’s their fault. Oh my God, I didn’t have time for this. And then I would’ve stayed in that guilt cycle. and the projection I would’ve created was that I’ve been, you know, the victim of this problem.

And instead I chose to be the light. I chose to reorganize. I, I, I, I, I threw makeup on really fast. I’m quite good at that these days. And I ran up to my Skype and I rang her again and thank God she picked up. I said, listen, I messed up. I’m so sorry. I, I wasted your time. I’m so sorry. I, I, it was actually my fault.

I, I didn’t read the email. And I was just being a diva and I’d like to, I’d like to start again. Can, can we do this again? And, and she was like, yeah, we can. And in the interview, I was able to use the story of how I chose again. And it really is a great example of how we are not gonna be perfect. Right?

We’re not gonna walk through life through with perfection. And if we try to, we will fall. We can do our best in every given moment to bring our highest truth and our highest self to all circumstances, but we won’t all the time. And when we don’t, how quickly do we come home? So my answer to the Brit, you live in the light all the time was not yes.

It was no, but I come back quickly and that’s what I wanna open up and, and have a conversation with you guys about, which is really: do you live in the light? No, but I can come back quick. We live in these ways where we think we’re the victim of the world. And A Course in Miracles says that I am not the victim of the world I see.

It’s not about what you’re seeing. It’s about how you’re choosing to perceive what you’re seeing. We’re seeing economic struggles and we’re seeing people dying from drugs and alcohol, and we’re seeing our husband cheat, or we’re seeing our boss act out or we’re seeing our child in addiction, or we’re seeing what we’re seeing, but it’s our choice what lens we will see that through.

Will we see these experiences through the lens of love or we will we see these experiences through the lens of fear? And so sometimes when I get ready for my husband’s getting ready for work, he comes to my bedside every morning and I’m still in bed when he leaves at 7:30 in the morning.

And, and I give him a blessing and I every morning, give him a blessing. And sometimes with the blessing comes with a little spiritual tip for the day. And so yesterday I was like, I have, and I, that morning I had to happened to have woken up and I was working, I’m working on a new book. So I, I like to get up and I, I leave my, I leave my laptop next to my bed when I wake up in the morning, I just type, I don’t know, it works for me.

And, and so I just was like, you know, cruising and, and just riffing on the computer a bit about what I was wanting to write about. And there was this one lesson from A Course in Miracles, which is really just the lesson. You know, projection is perception. And it’s our choice, how we wanna project these stories onto the world and through the projection that we place on the world, we will have a certain perception of the world.

And so I started to explain to him that, that his tip for the day was that in any moment he could choose to lead with the teacher of fear, the teacher of the ego, or lead with the teacher of love. The teacher is the course would say the holy spirit, I call it love, the teacher of love. Do you want the teacher of fear to lead you or do you want the teacher of love to lead you?

And so in any given moment, when you witness yourself out of alignment with love, you can say, I choose the teacher of love or begin your day with, I choose the teacher of love or walk into every new situation saying I choose to be led by the teacher of love. And it may seem like, oh, okay. That’s a nice thing to say, but you don’t understand the power.

You may not understand the power of those words, the power of that decision. It’s, it’s a subtle decision I choose to, to see with love. I am not the victim of the world. I see. My happiness is a choice I make. That’s a choice you make in any given moment. And we forget, and we get so stuck in the choice of fear we get stuck in…

It’s not even the choice of fear in the world of fear. We, we, we forgot that we, we, we don’t even, we think we have no choice. We believe that we’re the victim of the fear. We, we, we become the fear. We think that we are the fear, but we can always choose again. And so that’s, that’s the practice of living in the world, thinking with the thoughts of heaven.

Living in the world but thinking with the thoughts of heaven is living in a way where in every given moment you remember that you can choose again and the more you choose again, and the more you choose again, and the more you choose again, and the more you choose again, the more comfortable you are with that choice, the more second nature it becomes to make that choice.

So when you feel, oh God, you know, I’m out again very quickly. You just say that prayer. Rather than, you know, getting sick, hitting your knees, creating dramas in your life, and then being like, oh my God, I should listen to that Gabby Bernstein lecture again. And then remembering, oh, I have to choose again.

No, we don’t need to get to that bottom to come back. You can come back in any given moment. Every moment is an opportunity to forgive yourself, forgive your thoughts and come back home.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me.

So I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media @GabbyBernstein. And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live at deargabby.com. See you next week.