The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means you are ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Welcome back. Today is a fun show. This is a show that has a topic that usually is balked at, in my audiences. When I say this word out loud and I get on the stage and I say this word out loud, or I give this word as advice, the whole audience, no matter how large it is, is like, ugh, so I actually want you to make sure to stick around to the end, because this is a topic that has the power to transform your life.

And at the same time, it’s something we avoid most because it seems too hard. And it’s actually not, it’s not that far from reach. And the topic is patience. It came through as the topic, we have an amazing, uh, question that came through on the Apple reviews. And the topic is specifically about patience and manifesting.

Here’s the question that came through.

Dear Gabby. My question is about patience. I’m struggling to keep being patient. I know you say surrender mode. I’m trying too hard. I did the Manifesting Challenge and I’m now in the Miracle Membership and kind of feel like nothing is really happening yet. I am working so hard to stay committed and patient. Please help with any additional guidance on patience. Thanks.

Okay. Sometimes all the doing, whether it even be our spiritual doing. Like our Meditation Challenge or our practices, or, you know, doing, doing, doing gets in the way of receiving. That’s why patience is such an extraordinary virtue for you personally, professionally and as a super attractor, because the key to manifesting is to trust and allow.

And so all of the work to manifest shouldn’t be about doing. It’s simply about releasing the blocks to the presence of that patience. The secret to manifesting is about patience. It’s about grounding yourself in patience and patience sounds so scary to us, but when we give our energy and attention towards feeling aligned spiritually, that’s when patience becomes natural.

When you give yourself the opportunity to slow down and listen, to pray and let go temporarily, even for a moment, you get grounded in a presence of energy. That is the presence of spiritual connection. And in that spiritual presence of energy, everything around you can begin to unfold naturally.

You can feel more supported. You can feel more guided, you can feel more intuitive. And when you start to cultivate that presence of intuition and safety and guidance within that’s when patience becomes natural and it’s no longer something that you have to force yourself to do, but it’s something that becomes an honest response to life.

And I can really stand behind what I’m saying right now. I lived for so many years, just totally impatient, forcing, pushing, controlling, and the more I released the blocks to the presence of faith within me, through all the methods that I teach in my nine books, through the practices I teach here on Dear Gabby, the more grounded I became in that presence of trust, not just trusting myself, but trusting in the universe, trusting in a spiritual connection.

And as we strengthen our faith and transform our fear into faith, as I say, in my book, The Universe Has Your Back. The more we strengthen that faith, the easier patience becomes. And actually, patience is sort of the aftereffect of that strong faith. So this show may be about establishing a sense of patience, and I can give you some practical methods in the Dear Gabby’s and we can go there.

But the biggest message is that the clearest path to patience is through strengthening your faith. And that’s a faith of your own understanding, a faith, of whatever that means to you. Faith in your intuition, faith in the voice of inner guidance, faith in a spiritual presence beyond your own, a faith of your own understanding.

And when you ground yourself in that faith, it’s easy to be patient because you just trust everything is working out for me. And I’m truly taking care of, even when the shit hits the fan. And that’s a lot. And that’s, you know, sometimes on this show, I’m going to give you guys these big, seemingly lofty visions of what could be, but I wouldn’t offer them up as the end game of, or not even the end game, but I wouldn’t offer them up as the vision forward if I actually wasn’t living in it.

And so if that feels so far from reach like, oh, Gabby, I could never possibly imagine being so grounded in faith that patience was just natural. Well, let me be a power of example for you today.

Let me show you that it is possible that I can stay steady in that truth for myself and for you, and inspire you today to continue to deepen your spiritual connection so that that faith strengthens and that patience becomes a natural way of being.

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GABBY: Let’s see what comes through here today. It’s a really nice opportunity to go there. Let’s bring in our first guest. Hi, how are you doing, honey?

CALLER: Hi! Thank you so much for having me.

GABBY: Welcome to Dear Gabby. How you doing?

CALLER: I’m doing good. How are you?

GABBY: I’m great. I’m so happy to be with you guys. It’s just so energizing. Thanks for being with me.

Yeah, I’ve been working very hard on my business for the last two years, investing in myself, investing in my business and just trying to find the faith that, that financial security will find me.

You know, I’m putting a lot of investment out there and I’m not really getting much back in and I’ve changed my idea of giving free value to kind of get my name out there. I started a podcast and I’ve just been putting my heart and soul in that. And that’s been very empowering, but I also have those financial things coming up and, you know, I have a family to support and so anything that you can help guide me to that next chapter.

GABBY: Totally, there’s so much in here. So what do you think is your biggest block to the financial abundance that you desire?

CALLER: Maybe not feeling worthy.

GABBY: Okay. So the feelings of unworthiness put us into an energetic state, the feelings of unworthiness create patterns in your nervous system and in your life that will block you from earning. And so you’ve named one, which is over-giving and likely over-giving and not charging because you’re not feeling worthy of charging.

So let’s just address that today. Okay? One of the things that’s very important when you’re first starting out and you’re facing into that feeling of unworthiness and you want to also pay your bills, is to first identify what number, what price feels resonant for you. Because when I first started out as a coach, you know, I charged $60 an hour, right?

And then, you know, if you ask me today, I don’t even do private coaching anymore. Right? So it’s, it’s gonna resonate with where you are in that moment. And the exchange of money, even if it’s a low number, has a very powerful and profound energy behind it. So if you’re like, I’m not worthy, but I want to begin to earn for this great work.

Maybe find a number that feels resonant for you that’s not zero, right? And even if it’s like, you know, 50 bucks or $40 or whatever feels in your body, like something that is resonant. And with that sense of connection to that number, go out and unapologetically, ask for it and put it out there. And so you’re gently moving from giving to receiving, but you’re not blowing yourself out because you don’t believe in what you’re asking for.

So sometimes the practical and spiritual step is to just reach for valued price that feels most resonant in your body and start to get into the exchange of money in whatever form that comes. Okay? Because that’s sending a message to the universe saying, yeah, I’m ready to get paid for this. That’s the message that’s being sent to the universe.

Then the patience part here isn’t about not doing anything, not taking action, not showing up, but it’s about not forcing and not controlling and not making things happen because that balance of taking action from that place of being grounded in the actions that you’re taking, grounded in the requests that you’re putting out, grounded in the number and the price tag will allow you to show up with a more settled energy.

And it’s the frantic energy that’s the opposite of patience. That’s blocking any possibility. And it’s picked up by the client. It’s picked up by the listener of the podcast. It’s picked up on the social media feed. It’s felt, it’s felt, it’s felt, and sorry to tell you this, Kara, but I’ve seen you in a thousand different iterations.

You are, you are not special. You are not alone in this. Okay? You have a lot of sisters and brothers out there who suffer from the same situation of not feeling worthy of earning for their great work. And so, the patience isn’t about sitting back and just being like, I’m not going to make money. The patience is about grounding yourself in the actions that you take so that you can be bringing a more high vibrational energy to your request for financial abundance, to your podcast, to your email newsletter or whatever it is that you’re doing in the world.

Okay. Also, here’s a moment of abundance for you. I would like to give you my Spirit Junkie Masterclass, which is a training for people who are spiritual entrepreneurs. And it’s not even out in the market at this at this time. I mean, if somebody wants it, they can email in for it, but we’re not even putting it out there right now.

I’m going to give it to you. And the beauty here is this is a moment of abundance for you giving you a $2,000 course. The purpose of that course is to put you into an energy of worthiness and to trust that worthiness. And there’s actually a bonus that’s accompanied with the course, which is a whole training on worthiness. So, sister, you’re hooked up. You came to the right place and I’m giving you a clear path forward. Okay?

CALLER: Thank you so much.

GABBY: You’re welcome, gorgeous. You’re so welcome.

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The last few years have been really testing the limits of our capacity to endure stress. Everyone knows that it’s a big topic on this show and this increase in stress can manifest in the body and mind and in a lot of unfavorable ways. And while we can’t stop stress from happening, there are a lot of tools at our disposal to help manage our stress and curb the long-term effects that it can have on our well-being and our health. And all of the daily practices that I’ve cultivated over the years, meditation, prayer, journaling, eating well, exercising daily. These are non-negotiables in my daily stress management, so I can show up every day as the person I want to be, and really feel free from that stress response.

But recently, I’ve started taking Moonjuice Super You to bring my stress care to the next level and to actually stop stress before it starts. Super You is a potent, multi-adaptogen created with traditional ayurvedic and Chinese medicine to help manage stress and improve energy, mood and focus. It has you completely covered with four different adaptogens that work together to help your body tackle whatever comes its way.

Ashwagandha is a fan fave over here. It helps to reduce irritability and increase calm. Rhodiola, which helps you reduce the fatigue that comes in after we’ve been really stressed out and Shatavari helps you rebalance hormones from prolonged periods of stress that can affect PMS, skin, libido, irritability, lack of focus, and so much more. And Amla, which is also known as the beauty berry, helps protect skin from oxidative stress and accelerated aging that we experienced when our stress hormones are out of whack.

So every morning I take two capsules with a glass of water and I feel different. I feel calmer. I feel nicer. I feel more focused and I have the energy and clarity to tackle every day. And so mom, business owner, human, whoever’s out there. This is a gift to yourself. I also love that by taking just these two little pills each day, I’m being proactive about my stress rather than reactive about it.

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GABBY: Dude. Hi, Doug.

CALLER: Gabby B!

GABBY: What’s up, my love? Welcome to the show. It’s good to see you, sweetheart.

CALLER: Good to see you too. How are you? Everything good.

GABBY: So good. Since the last time I saw you. We’re here with Doug, I was on Doug’s podcast. Tell them your podcast names. They can go listen to our interview or anything else.

CALLER: It’s called the Adversity Advantage. And we had had two really amazing conversations that people have really got a lot out of. And I’m just grateful for you and like the friendship that we’ve built. And I guess my question, I think it’s relevant for, for a lot of people right now is I struggle a lot with patience.

Like I find that there’s these, there’s this polarity, right? There’s like times where I need to be really, really patient. And then I’m too patient or there’s times where I want to be more persistent. I’m almost too persistent. I think either way can have like negative side effects.

So I’m trying to figure out. Like where’s the silver lining, like where’s the middle ground so that I don’t push people away or not take enough action.

GABBY: Excellent question. So in my book, Super Attractor, I share a method called the spiritually-aligned action method. And it’s designed to help you take action, which we need to do, whether it’s in a relationship or in a career choice or anything.

But to take action from a place of spiritual alignment. And so, whenever we are practicing this method for our action-oriented endeavors, we can trust that we are going to be aligned in the actions that we take. And actually the final step of the spiritually-aligned action method is patience. So the goal of taking action from this place from a spiritually-aligned place is to first make sure that whatever action that you want to take or desire that you want to fulfill is backed with love and service.

So if it’s like, you know, writing a book, is it backed with love and service. If it’s reaching out to an ex-partner to forgive, you know, it’s backed with that energy of love and service, you know, how, how can I be truly helpful? And when you know that you’re grounded in that energy and you feel that okay, I’m backed with love and service.

That’s when, you know, you can take the action. That’s when you know you can, okay. Okay. Now I can pick up the phone. Now I can write that book proposal. Now I can, this is, I feel grounded in love and service. I’m trusting right now that this is spiritual energy behind this. So the next step is to take the action, the spiritually-aligned action.

And then the third step is to be patient. So you can have an effortless experience of being patient when you know that you’ve taken action from that spiritually-aligned place, because any action that we take from that spiritually-aligned place we can trust is going to be infused with our, our spirit guides coming through is going to be infused with inspiration.

It’s going to be infused with inner direction. It’s going to be having an impact on the world because it’s not coming from that needy controlling energy and it’s not coming from something that’s so passive. And so, you know, laid back, it’s coming through with your highest presence. So if you’re taking action from a place of spiritual alignment, patience not only is necessary and required, but it’s also an easy thing to trust.

Because you can trust that your action is backed with a lot of great energy.

CALLER: Yeah. Yeah. I love, I love that answer because I think in my experience. And I’m sure people can relate to this. We make these decisions from an emotional place, like times where our self-esteem is down or we’re feeling depressed or upset.

We want to be more persistent, but really we need to take that time to make sure we’re like in the best head space and really like feeling like our highest self before we decide to proceed. So thank you so much for that answer. That was awesome.

GABBY: You straight-up nailed it. So you, I know with all the work that you’ve done on yourself are not going to have much trouble being patient when you can trust that you’ve taken that action from spiritual alignment. Because like I know for myself, I’m going to give you an example, like any endeavor that I take, if I know that it’s backed with really juicy energy and it’s backed with inspiration, it’s backed with love. It’s backed with service.

Then I don’t have to do much once I’ve done the action. Right? I can let the universe take care of the rest because I’ve put the right energy into it. So I feel really confident that this is the move for you. I’m so happy that we did this. Thank you, baby. Thank you.

CALLER: You too. And I hope you have a great day and thanks again for bringing me on.

GABBY: You are so welcome. Thank you.

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help online therapy. Life can be very overwhelming. We talk about a lot of big stuff here on the show. We know that there’s no small talk here and we can really get burnt out when we don’t start to face some of that difficult stuff. We can also experience a lot of symptoms, like lack of motivation, feeling helpless, or feeling trapped or detached or tired.

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CALLER: Hi!

GABBY: Hi girlfriend. I guess I wanted to talk to you a bit more about, I, I really liked Cara’s question earlier about being an entrepreneur and launching our own business because I’m the same.

I’m a coach. I run my own online business. And for the first two years, I felt exactly the same way as Cara did. Um, but I guess now things are really starting to be aligned. I read your Happy Days book. I am also doing IFS, so it’s been so amazing for me. Um, but I guess one of my questions is right now. So I’m a coach.

I do one-to-one coaching. I do group coaching. And one of the things I really struggle with is rejection. Like people who say, and one of the biggest triggers for me is people who say yes, and then they say no. Like they changed their mind and it might be like a bigger investment to me. And I kind of, I try not to get carried away with the fact that they’re ready and they’re going to jump, jump in and work with me.

And then they kind of say no. And I feel really, my energy’s shifted for like 24 hours at least. I feel so low. And so, I don’t know. I just feel like everything I’ve been working on isn’t working.

GABBY: Well, listen. Rejection is protection. So if somebody is ready to commit and then not ready to commit, that’s a sign that they may not be your ideal customer avatar, right?

You want to attract customers that want to go with you, want to go deep, want to really be a devoted coaching client. And I think that my suggestion is back to clarity, really identifying clearly. What are your non-negotiables for your client? Because a lot of times we’re thinking we’re selling somebody because we need to give our services to them.

Right? But we’re also in the service of them and that takes a lot of energy. And so we want to make sure we’re attracting the right kind of people. So right now there’s a part of you that’s touching into probably a sense of unworthiness and that’s what’s activated when somebody comes into this conversation and then backs out.

Being in that energy of unworthiness can often be a reason why you may attract folks who are not yet aware of your value. Right? So they dip it in because they’re like, oh, she’s really shiny and bright. And then they dip out because they’re like something doesn’t quite yet feel like I’m really aligned with that. You know what I mean?

And so, there’s two things happening here. One, I want you to get crystal clear about who you want to attract and write it out and be very clear. I want to attract people who want to do the work. I want to try people who stick around, who make the commitment to show up every week, whatever.

And then number two, start to touch into the belief systems that you may be carrying that are creating an energy that is making you a magnet for people who aren’t sure.

CALLER: Yeah. And I really resonate with that. And one of the things I’ve tried to do in my life consciously over the past few years is really to be very forward in my communication with people, you know, tell them straight up.

I think part of it is when people, when I feel almost like betrayed by that person. So I’m like, I want to embody being very open in my communication. If I’m going to sign up to a program, I’ll tell them how I feel on the call or I’ll really be clear in my intentions. And I don’t ignore people and I try to embody the type of person I want to attract.

GABBY: Great. Excellent. I think you’re doing everything right, Cleo, but you know, listen, you signed up to be a miracle worker. You signed up to coach people, you signed up to be of service. And so, you know what, you’re going to be given a lot of opportunities to look at your own shit and to say, what is it that I need to do to shine the crystal that is me?

So that I can be the best leader, best coach, best guide for these people who are drawn to me, we attract our likeness. Truly. And so right now you’re attracting people who want to do the work, but they’re not fully believing they can. And that’s maybe reflecting some of where you’re at still. Right?

And it’s a truth. It’s a truth. And that may or may not be the exact language that you would use, but it’s really important to be the witness of the ways that you may be resisting your greatness.

CALLER: Yeah, that’s so true. I really resonate with that. I never, I keep thinking about it, like with the IFS and looking at parts, and I’ve found a lot of parts that are lacking emotional connection.

Um, and I’ve found that there’s obviously a lack of emotional connection with myself. And I sometimes think that I don’t understand myself. So I miss things like perhaps I haven’t taken a look at me and whether I’m I’m feeling I’m looking very externally because what’s the opposite of emotional connection is just like social connection.

Well, it’s not the opposite, but you know what I mean?

GABBY: Let me back you up for one second using IFS because this is something that you’re doing. And this is Internal Family Systems for people who are listening and have not done it. And we have a whole episode where I interviewed Dick Schwartz who’s the founder of IFS.

And I talk about it in Happy Days. So you can go back if you want to listen, but for you right here, right now, you’re doing a lot of beautiful work to get to know these parts of yourself that may not be fully developed yet, or parts of you that may be in very protector mode. And so instead of over-analyzing it or pushing yourself too fast, trust that you’re in the right place with the right guidance with this right therapist. Get excited about the journey and become curious about these parts of you. Become curious about what they are here to reveal; become curious about what they need, and what they want to show you.

Because that energy of curiosity is self-energy and in IFS, it is all about connecting self to the parts. And so for right now, just use the, the C quality of curiosity. And so in those moments, when you notice that the client changed their mind, and they’re not going to show up and you feel yourself super triggered instead of getting into a 24-hour loop, spend that day getting curious.

Okay. Triggered part. What do you want to know? Why do you want me to know? What do I know about you? What do I notice in my body? What do I notice about this part? Is it, is there a gender? Is there an age? What do I know about it? How old is it? Where may have it showed up before in my life? What do you need?

What do you need? Notice, know, need. And be curious about these responses in these parts. And that, my love, begins a really beautiful journey of self-energy, and spiritual energy, connecting to these protector parts. And that’s the first step towards true freedom internally, beginning the relationship with a self-led life, being led by that spiritual connection that will allow you to be patient. That will allow you to be patient with yourself because another quality of that energy is calm.

And so, the more, you start to dive deeper into this Internal Family Systems work, the more patient you’ll be, and the more understanding and compassionate you’ll be towards all of the parts of who you are.

CALLER: Yeah. I’m smiling because one of the parts that is strong for me, or like I have a very strong connection with is the fixer, or they’re trying to figure out the figure out part.

So sometimes I have to say. Okay. Like, do you want to go and sit over there and just chill for a minute while I just stay curious? Cause sometimes I feel myself trying to figure it out and it’s like, rather than curiosity and openness, it’s very much analytical.

GABBY: Yeah. And even right here, right now, say to your fixer part, Hey, like when we get off this call with Gabby, I’d love to get to know you a little bit more.

If you can sit down in your journal and write a little bit with the fixer and just say. What do you, what do I notice? What do I know about you? What do you need?

CALLER: Yeah. Yeah.

GABBY: Give it a little voice. Beautiful sweetheart. Nice job.

CALLER: Thank you so much, Gabby. So lovely to speak to you.

GABBY: So welcome. All right. Well, this show couldn’t have come at a better time for so many of you listening and for myself, because it’s such a valuable opportunity to tap into that presence of patience and recognize that that patience becomes more and more effortless the more we ground ourselves in our own personal growth, personal recovery and spiritual connection.

This show is almost like another promise of what happens when you go big. When you go in and you go big inside, when you make the commitment to your internal condition, when you practice a book like Happy Days, when you listen to a show like Dear Gabby, when you do any kind of personal growth or spiritual development, you strengthen that inner foundational commitment to yourself and to the faith of your own inner wisdom and the faith of your inner guidance system.

And that is your greatest path to patience. The reason that we are so impatient is because we do not trust. We don’t trust the universe. We don’t trust ourselves. We don’t trust others. So the path isn’t to force patience upon ourselves, the path is to strengthen our faith. Beautiful show today. Thank you all for listening.

Thank you to the beautiful souls who came through. If you have a question for me on this show, you can leave a review and leave your question below. Just type in Dear Gabby with your question. Maybe it’ll come here. It’ll end up being the episode that comes out next week. Who knows? Leave your questions inside the reviews.

We’re so psyched to hear from you. Thanks for joining me today on Dear Gabby.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me.

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