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In this episode, we’re talking about one of my favorite subjects: how to manifest LOVE. Whether you’re calling in your soulmate or want to feel a deeper connection in your current relationship, this episode is for you.

I’m sharing the exact manifesting methods I used to attract my husband, Zach—and the tools I still rely on to keep our love thriving after all these years. I get super practical and break down the spiritual steps to becoming a true energetic match for the love you want.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How to create a crystal-clear list of non-negotiables to attract the right partner
  • The “act as if” method I used to call in my husband (it’s a game-changer!)
  • Why being your authentic self is the sexiest thing you can do
  • How to surrender your timeline and let the Universe lead you to your beloved
  • The #1 most important step for healing the inner blocks to love

When you stop trying to find love and start focusing on becoming the love you seek, everything changes. Your energy shifts, you release the pressure, and you clear the path for the Universe to bring you the romance you deserve.

Ready to become a love magnet? Listen now!

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #272 Jul 28, 2025 manifesting

manifest true love & attract your soulmate in 5 steps

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby, my friends. Today we are talking about how to manifest your soulmate fast. It's like coffee talk with Gabby seriously, how to manifest your soulmate fast. How to manifest your soulmate fast. Now, you might be in a relationship, you might be married. This also applies to you how to manifest more love in your current relationship.

I use these tools for myself, guys. I've been married for a while now and I'm [00:01:00] using these tools for myself. So let's jump in. Let's jump in. Let's jump in. The first thing I wanna recognize as I lean into this topic of manifesting love is that we want to make sure that we're not trying to attract someone to complete us, but what we recognize is that the more full and complete and whole we become inside.

The more of a magnet we are for that love and that romance that we desire. Take that in. The more we focus on how we wanna feel, the love that we can access inside of ourselves, the momentum of energy, the alignment with the universe. The more likely we are to attract that love into our life or to create more of that love in our current relationships.

So again, this is not about finding someone to complete us, it's about becoming who it is that we want to be in the relationship so we can attract more of what we want. And I [00:02:00] really want you to stick around all the way through to the end of this, because I'm gonna reveal the most important tip that needs the earlier tips to cultivate to get to this place.

So the first manifesting tool for attracting what you want in your relationships and your soulmate that you desire is to be crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract. When I was in my twenties wanting to manifest my beloved, I had a coach and she taught me something that I will share with you to this day.

And it was to have this list, a very clear list. Of non-negotiables and you can have non-negotiables and then you could have your nice to haves, but your non-negotiables are the most important part of this list. So a non-negotiable looks like they have the same values as me. They're kind to me, they respect me.

A non-negotiable might not be that like, oh, they're six foot five. Like that's not a non-negotiable. You're not necessarily going to get six foot five. I have a great story. So my coach at the time, raw, she told me this great story where she had this list of all the things that [00:03:00] she wanted and on the list was she wanted a tall black man and she had this great list of all these beautiful things and she met this guy, Corey and Corey was amazing.

He had the best attitude. He had everything on her list, but she didn't even realize it was him. Why? Because he was short, white and Jewish. He wasn't the tall black guy she was looking for. So the confusion there is we wanna make sure that some of these things that might be a nice to have are not the non-negotiables, because had she not been clear about her non-negotiables and had that clarity about what she really needed.

And then had the nice to haves here on the side, she might have missed the miracle of her beloved. And so this is the message I want you to take in, have your list of what's non-negotiable and then you're nice to haves. Okay? Maybe a nice to have is that he's tall, but that may not be what the partner shows up as.

They might show up in a different form than you expected. And you know what? You might even be happy that they're not so tall because you don't have to step on your tippy toes all the time. Whatever it is. I don't know. Okay, but hear me out. Be very crystal clear about [00:04:00] what is non-negotiable. So a non-negotiable, again, is they show up for me, they're aligned with my core beliefs.

They are kind, they are supportive. Maybe a non-negotiables even that you know that they're financially stable. That might be a non-negotiable for you. But then the nice to haves would be things like tall or works in the same business path as me, or even a nice to have, might even be like, has the same spiritual beliefs as me, because that's a hard one to make.

A non-negotiable. Not everyone that we attract in our life is gonna have the same spiritual beliefs. They might be open to our beliefs. But we can't force our faith unto others. So make a very, very crystal clear list. What is non-negotiable? What will I absolutely not live without? Right? Kindness, respect, appreciation, certain morals.

These are non-negotiables. And then what are the nice to haves? And just have the nice to haves hanging out there. But when you go on your next date, or [00:05:00] you're in your relationship that you're currently in, look at that non-negotiable list. Speak up for it. Ask for what you want. Be clear about it, and you sort, you're in these relationships.

You're on a date and you're like, oh, doesn't have that non-negotiable. Moving on. Moving on. Do not waste a moment in a relationship where the non-negotiables are not in alignment with yours. But don't put a thousand things on your non-negotiable list. Just have it be specific, be clear, be very, very important things that you really feel to your core.

You must have to feel complete in this relationship. Okay. The second step is to act as if, if you really wanna manifest your soulmate, you want to assume the energy of what it feels like to be in that romantic state. Act as if, okay, I'll give you this with a story. When I was in my twenties trying to manifest my beloved, I remember walking through the streets of New York [00:06:00] City and feeling as if I was holding hands with my beloved.

And I would feel the energy and I would call in the energy. And even though there was nobody next to me, I actually would have my hand out to the side and just sort of call in this energy of a feeling of just walking through the streets of the West Village of New York City with my beloved. And I would assume the feeling, and I'd go for a romantic walks with this energy and might sound a little weird, but it was really beautiful.

I felt so good in those romantic walks. So fast forward now, this is, I've been with my husband since. 2007. So we're almost two decades, but about 18 years, 18 years later, having been with my now husband, I will deeply tell you that the most beautiful thing that we do together is walk through the West Village, holding hands, and it's one of our favorite things to do, is go for a walk holding hands in the village.

That manifestation became my reality, and it's the core energy that I wanted to bring into my life. [00:07:00] So do something. Feel something that is in alignment with that desired soulmate energy. So it could be that you go for the walk, or maybe you're going to the theater and you're watching a play and you're feeling like your partner and your beloved is there with you, or you are journaling a feeling that feels so good and you're sort of visioning and dreaming and journaling.

Assume the energy act as if assume the feeling that that beloved is by your side even when they're not here yet. Because when you start to cultivate that energy, that energy starts to attract and magnetize more of what you want into your life. That energy is what manifests. So try this out. Go journal.

What does it feel like? What does it look like? Go walk through the streets like I did. Maybe you wanna go for a jog 'cause you wanna run with your beloved. Go for a jog and feel that physically in your body. Physical movement is a very powerful way to bring in the energy of what it is that you want to [00:08:00] manifest.

Go to your yoga class, envision your beloved next to you on the mat, whatever it is, go to your coffee shop and just sit there looking out. The window feeling is if that partner's there with you, assume the feeling. This is a good one. It'll come into your life, I promise you. The third step is to be your authentic self.

There is nothing sexier than your authentic self. Do not think that the persona that you put out there, the Instagram face, the showiness, the false pretense of who you think you are is gonna be what's gonna attract your partner, first of all. That's actually not attractive, that fakeness, that misalignment.

It's not attractive trying to be the cool girl or the cool guy that's not attractive. So it might work for a second, but it doesn't actually last. Ultimately, what really sucks about that too is that once you actually get into the relationship, and that's not who you wanna pretend to be anymore, you don't know who you are, and.

What I realized was trying to be the cool girl really got me into a lot of trouble. It [00:09:00] was me overriding myself, my needs, my desires, and not actually being who I really am. Who I really am is goofy and fun and outspoken and loud. And so my husband and I for a few years dated and then we broke up for a year.

And in that year that we broke up, we were friends. And in that friendship I just started acting like myself. I was just more me. And that's when he really fell in love with me and that's when I was able to fall in love with him because we realized, oh. Just being ourselves without any of this bullshit is actually what really makes the alignment match.

So starting day one, first date, be yourself. Be yourself. Don't mess with this. Be yourself. There's nothing sexier than your authentic truth.

This podcast is sponsored by levels. All right, let's talk about metabolic health, because even when you think you're doing everything right, there might be still more going on under the surface. And I've been that person that's been eating [00:10:00] clean, not having sugar, daily meditation, working out, and I still have these unexpected markers in my blood work I was looking at, my cholesterol was high.

All hormonally related, but also things that I could reverse with the right supplementation, with the right eating habits, and sometimes with the right medication. And that is why I love levels, because it helped me look at all of my markers and make decisions that were right for me, particularly right now in this menopausal era of my life, and only 12% of Americans are metabolically healthy, which is incredibly low and levels helps you understand how food affects your health by pairing with continuous glucose monitors. And it gives you personalized feedback that tracks your daily health habits. An annual 28 marker cardio, metabolic blood test, and you can track your macros, proteins, fibers, fats, everything, all sugars, everything.

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And that LDL that was so out of range was my wake up call and now I'm working on balancing it through real food and through my exercise. So right now, levels is offering my listeners an additional two free months. Of the Levels Annual membership. When you use my link levels, link/gabby, that's levels link/Gabby.

This is a limited time offer, so check it out. Now if you want to take charge of your metabolic health, we spend so much time taking care of our skin and our face, but what about our neck? This is the thing that people miss. They miss, and the neck is the place. I wear the most heavy hats. I'm always in the shade.

Somehow my neck. Always gets burnt no matter how much sunscreen I have on. And the summer is now in full swing. We're wearing sundresses, swimsuits, strappy tops, and our neck and our chest is just always out for the world to [00:12:00] see. And so we wanna make sure we're taking care of our neck. So I've been using Go Pure's Titan, and Lift neck cream, and it's blowing.

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Step four, surrender your timeline. One of the most valuable methods to attracting your soulmate is to surrender the timeline. You might be, you know, the clock is ticking. What am I doing? What's happening in my life, or in my late thirties, or I'm in my forties, where's my beloved? Or even even your twenties.

I hear people in their twenties being like, I need my partner now. Okay, chill, chill, chill, chill. My mother got remarried in her fifties and attracted my incredible stepfather, Michael. That is her beloved, and that happened later in life. match.com people, you know, whatever it might be. You know, you're on your apps, you're on your Bumble, whatever it is, do not underestimate God's timing, the timing of the universe.

Maybe you have a partner for a season because you needed that [00:14:00] partnership to help you grow and learn. Maybe you've had a divorce, okay, you got divorced. What's coming now? There's no end of your season. You could be at any age attracting the beloved that you desire. So. Release the timeline. The timeline is making you anxious.

It's making you thirsty. It's making you needy. And by no means am I going to minimize the biological clock, but I really wanna make sure that particularly those women out there are not dating from a place of urgency and a place of fear. Because when we're in that place of urgency and fear, we're in a relationship and we're trying to force it to become the soulmate.

It's not gonna work. That forceful nature, that thirsty nature, that needy nature, it's not attractive. It doesn't work. It's not, it's just not sexy. So get rid of your timeline. You can say thank you universe for revealing to me what is of my highest good or thank you universe for taking this desire and showing me what to do, and trusting that every step along the way is exactly as it needs to be.

Even the relationships that fell apart [00:15:00] are actually cracking you open to your highest potential. The relationships that brought you to your knees and made you feel most uncomfortable are giving you an opportunity to step into the light of who you're really here to be. Don't underestimate those moments.

Don't judge your breakup. Don't judge the setbacks, those shitty relationships, those breakups, those meltdowns are cracking you open to the greatest version of yourself. Ask the universe, what would you have me do with this? How would you have me learn from this? And then take the next right action. Step five is to become the love you seek.

Become the love you seek when you want to manifest more of that romance in your life. So we think that we have to. Just get that love to feel complete. The real manifesting tool is to feel good inside and to do the inner work on ourselves so that we become a point of attraction for that love that we seek.

This is where I'm gonna really recommend my book, Self-Help. This is your chance to change your life. If you're trying to [00:16:00] attract a partner into your life, you have to become the greatest beloved to yourself. You must connect to self. Self is the energy of compassion inside. Courage, creativity, connection, curiosity, confidence, all that we want in a relationship.

That connection, that creativity, that clarity, that confidence, that courage. That's what we want to be in a relationship. We have to access that for ourself. In my book, Self-Help, I'll give you a four step tool for healing the burdened parts of yourself, healing the younger parts of yourself that carry the beliefs of I'm not worthy of love, I'm inadequate.

I'm a lovable, I'm not good enough. The fastest way to manifest your beloved is to heal those younger parts of yourself inside that don't believe you're worthy of that love. I'm gonna put a big, big public service announcement right now. If you wanna attract love, go to dear gappy.com/ self-help and follow those four steps.

That is the holy grail for realigning with yourself [00:17:00] energy, which is your greatest source of power. When attracting romance into your life, we must heal the inner children inside of us that do not believe we are worthy of love. And as we heal those younger parts of ourselves, we can start to step into the vibrational match of our beloved.

And so what are the steps? I'll just share them with you, noticing the belief of, I'm unlovable, or I can't attract that partner, or I can't get to the place of love in my relationship. And notice that belief that's blocking you. And the first step is to choose to check in with that part. Focus your attention inward.

The second step is to be curious about that part of yourself. So asking some questions, where do I feel that? Feeling in my body. What do I know about it? Does it have any images or thoughts or sensations attached to it? And just spend a moment getting to know with curiosity what that belief is trying to tell you By asking those questions.

The third step is to compassionately connect to that belief and that thought and say, what do you need? [00:18:00] You're gonna hear these young parts of yourself say, you know, I need you to love me. You meaning yourself. I need to feel safe. I need, I need love, I need connection. What does it need? It needs your love.

It needs your compassion, it needs your connection. These are like young little parts inside. And then the final step is just to notice the shift inside. Notice that you feel a little bit more calm and a little bit more connected, and that connection and that calm is what will start to become a new energy.

These are just a brief, brief breakdown of the steps. Go to dear gabby.com/self-help and read that book cover to cover. Or listen to it. Cover to cover. Trust me that book has the answers for you. If there's ever a book you could read to help you with your relationships, it's self-help. Because if you don't get right with the relationship to your inner children inside to all the parts of yourself, you're gonna carry those burden beliefs into the relationships that you are trying to manifest.

And so maybe you'll attract that partner, but it'll just [00:19:00] blow up because of all the unhealed parts of yourself. Do that work and you will absolutely catapult your attracting power. Again, that's dear gabby.com/ self-help. Do not underestimate the power of those four steps. I'm telling you, I use them every single day in my own marriage.

Okay? Use these tools and the final step is fun. It's to find more romance in your existing relationships. So I learned this early on. We can't expect that romantic partner to give us everything, to be everything for us. So we always are gonna have to find that romance in other areas of our life, like in our girlfriends or you know, if you're a guy with your guy friends, whatever it might be with your friendships.

Your friendships can be super romantic, right? So you can go on a long walk with a girlfriend and feel so much connection and feel so aligned and. Go on a vacation with a friend and just get into it and just have a good time. That is romantic energy. That is creative energy, that is really joyful energy.

That energy is what actually starts to manifest more of what you want into your life. So stop thinking that you have to go out and get that partner, [00:20:00] that romantic partner, to feel that energy. You can feel that energy in. The creative act of making art in playing tennis with a girlfriend in going for a walk with someone in cooking a meal with a beloved friend.

That joy and that romance is sparky energy, and it really has the power to create more sparks in your life, and therefore a ripple effect of energy that begins to attract and align you with what it is that you want to manifest in a romantic partner. So even if you're in a marriage or in a relationship.

Do more romantic things with your friends. It lets your partner off the hook. Your partner no longer has to be your only source of romance and joy and excitement. You find that in other areas and you can have a more well-rounded, wholesome relationship. And if you find that in other areas, you put yourself into the point of attraction of manifesting more of what you want.

Trust me when I tell you this. If you really, really, really wanna take this real attracting to [00:21:00] the next level, massively uplevel it. Here's my secret, it's my 21 day trust the universe challenge, and I say this with full conviction. What we want to do and we attract a soulmate is be the match for the energy that we desire, and the quickest way to heal our energy and align our energy with the energy of joy.

The energy of spirit, the energy of creativity, the energy of romance is to get into that relationship with the universe. I remember there was a period when I was dating where I'd say, God is my boyfriend. You know, and I was just, I was really serious, like I would set bed Friday nights meditating and feeling in that energy and starting to feel that relationship of my spiritual connection just made me so attractive in my relationships.

I was just kind of dating a lot of people at one time when I was in that vibration. It really makes you quite attractive. So join me dear gabby.com/universe challenge, and it's 21 days of meditations and practices for aligning you with your spiritual [00:22:00] relationship. And that spiritual relationship puts you into the greatest point of attraction for a calling in that romantic relationship you desire.

Do not miss that one Best tip I could give you today, dear gabby.com/universe challenge And now use one of these tools. Just go take one of these manifesting methods, cultivate it for a week, getting into joy, getting into the experience of acting as if bringing more joy and love into your friendships.

Just using one of these tools and let these tools cultivate that energy. I want you to report back. Let me know how it goes. Share your miracles, share your setbacks. Remember that rejection is protection, so if it doesn't work out, that's for the highest good and. Lemme how it goes. This is gonna really change the way you approach your relationships, the ones that you want to attract and the ones that you already have. Trust me when I tell you this is gonna help.

So the other day I was [00:23:00] on my social media and I saw one of my friends who's like the influencer of all influencers, she's always influencing me, and she shared this image of this amazing tinted moisturizer that she's been using. I immediately clicked on it. I was like, whatever she says, I'm gonna go do it.

And it was merit Beauty. I bought it immediately and I was hooked because it's simple. It's clean beauty, but it's easy, and there's no time for 12 steps in the morning. We want something that's more simple and oftentimes less is more. That's my approach to makeup. I want it to be clean because I'm gonna wear it every day.

I want it to be easy and I wanna look polished, but I don't wanna spend a ton of time layering on all these different products, and that's why I love merit. Their makeup's designed to simplify your routine while making you look and feel amazing. And that's actually why my friend influenced me. 'cause I always love how she looks like that.

No makeup, makeup. And I was like, whatever she's doing, I'm gonna do it. And their whole philosophy is about minimalist clean makeup that enhances your natural features. And this is the [00:24:00] best part. Their products are clean, vegan and cruelty free, and they actually nourish your skin while you wear them.

Clean beauty is so important to me right now. I'm very sensitive to my hormones and everything that I'm putting into my body, so I have to be very, very conscious of what I'm putting on my skin. And I've been loving, loving, loving the flush bomb blush, and I'm also loving their minimalist stick. It just gives you that right amount of glow without looking like you have so much makeup on.

And Merrick's products align with how I live my life. That clear, that simple, and that conscious way of living. And so I'm proud to have Merit as a sponsor because they're creating products that are both beautiful and intentional. Ready to simplify your routine, head to merit beauty.com and get their signature makeup bag free for your first order.

That's merit beauty.com and get their signature bag for free with your first order. So I was just away. I was in Dublin, London, and Portugal. And lemme tell you something, I made my 10,000 to 20,000 steps a day. I'm not even kidding you. Some days I hit 20 and I was walking [00:25:00] through the streets of London and Dublin and I was still looking chic people.

And you wanna know why? Because I was wearing my bionic shoes. It is the best shoe brand for comfort, but doesn't sacrifice style. So if you're ever packing the wrong shoes for a trip, you don't have to ever, ever again. Because I have. Giving you the Holy Grail. I've been living in my Walk Max sneakers lately, and these are engineered for walking, but they're also perfect for errand running or long travel days, and they've just got this grounded, stable feeling, and I love that they have this technology that makes it so comfortable for you to walk in.

I've also been wearing the willow loafers that are the perfect loafer slash sneaker, which was. Really epic in London and Dublin because I could still look cute and just walk and walk and walk and walk. And their site is so easy to use. It's really made simple to figure out your size, and I love that they offer a 30 day guarantee.

So wear them, love them, and return them for a full refund if they're not right for you. And you can use Code Dear Gabby, A checkout for [00:26:00] 15% off your entire [email protected]. When you log into your account one time, use only. Bionic shoes, wearable wellbeing for your feet. That's bionic shoes.com, V-I-O-N-I-C shoes.com.

Before I left for my trip, I took my entire closet and I dumped it out onto the floor and I said, you know what, Gabby? These are great styles. These are brands that you purchased years ago that you love, that old Isabelle Morant jacket that you wore till the end, that great pair of pumps that you loved.

But you know what, Gabby? You are not wearing this anymore. This was the reckoning I had to have with myself. So what did I do? I immediately logged onto the realreal.com. I consigned my stuff. I consigned my clothes, not just because I can feel good knowing that somebody else is going to upcycle my amazing stuff that I wore and loved, but also because I can fill out my real, real bank account and res shop with it.[00:27:00] 

So I'm addicted to the real, real, I'm, I'm completely serious. While this is a sponsor of the show, I am. Absolutely 100000% their dream customer. I use the RealReal all day every day because I'm just cleaning out my closet and I'm looking for great deals. I don't love to buy designer brands full price. I just don't.

I think it's kind of ridiculous to be honest with you, and so it's really important for me to upcycle, and so here I am. On the RealReal, checking out that new product that I love, and I am also knowing that whatever I'm selling, I can just reinvest in something new. I shop and sell at the RealReal, which is just so good because I'm earning and I'm buying something special new for me.

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Before we close out this show, I wanna share this very powerful coaching moment that brings this work to life, claiming what we want, becoming unapologetic about what we want. This is about telling the universe clearly without any hesitation or disconnection, telling the universe clearly, this is what I want unapologetically.

Putting out what we want to receive, putting out what we want to receive, because the universe only responds to what you are a yes for. And if you are a yes for something, maybe then you're only gonna continue to get something maybe. But if you are [00:29:00] a yes with conviction, clarity, connection to what it is that you desire, the universe can respond swiftly.

The universe can provide, the universe can reveal to you the steps, the guidance. The manifestation, and did you know that you can actually clarify your desire? Did you know that you can do that through the power of your intention? There's a lot of fun ways to get really creative in clarifying your desires.

There are ways to write about it. Visualize and just creatively write, I am ready to attract the love, the partner, the romance, or being in that I am statement is also extremely valuable. I am in my new vehicle, or I am a mother holding my baby in my arms. I am, I am. Letting that creative visualization come out onto the page, bringing [00:30:00] that creative visualization to your meditation, getting crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract into your life, the universe is always guiding you towards what is the highest good for all.

And when you get into that energy of positive expectation, your you are embracing a sense of faithful knowing. Telling the universe, yeah, I believe that what I desire is on the way and the way to loosen your grip on that desire. That clear desire is by saying, I welcome this or something better. Because we want that clarity and we want that conviction, and we want that sense of knowing.

We wanna hold the visions, but we also want to wear it like a loose garment. We want to allow that desire to have free flowing. Co-creation with the universe. The more clear we are, the more directed we will be. And even with that clarity, sometimes, sometimes just, sometimes the universe [00:31:00] has a plan better than we do.

So hold that clear vision. Get yourself grounded in the statement of what it is that you are ready to receive or I am. And then let the universe do her thing. Let that energy. Of conviction and creation and creativity, be the energy that manifests that clear intention into your life. Make that list of what it is that you wanna clarify.

Do something where you just put all the imagery out there. You can get very crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract. Make a statement, put it on your computer. There's a faith statement that we can create and the universe has your back. I write about a faith statement. Get grounded in your capacity to attract what you desire and the clear vision.

'cause universe is always giving you back what you put out. That clear vision backed with the released energy of allowing what is at the highest good this or something better, is what allows that clear vision to come into form. So I [00:32:00] wanna talk about this topic today with you. I'm gonna bring in our guest and see how this relates to them clarifying the vision of what they desire so the universe can respond.

Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. So I really can't believe I'm on here where to start. I feel like your message for today really resonates with me because I'm feeling just a little, a loss in some decisions and how my life is going. I mean, overall for me, things are going well. I, I decided to make a career change two years ago.

I got, I'm getting my master's in social work. I'm almost done. I got a job. I'm gonna be a therapist. Excellent. Starting in. In August after I graduate. Full body chills. So fabulous. Good for you. Yeah, it's been, sorry, I'm really nervous. I didn't think I'd get picked. I didn't seem nervous at all, so That's so interesting.

You know, my career is going well. I kept my, my other job through this whole time, so I've had that stability that you've talked about [00:33:00] and I'm really feeling like I'm on the right path and it took a lot of time. Thought to get there and it's like, things are just like, the obstacles are, you know, it's, it's always been hard for me to think that things can be easy and it's kind of gone that way, but right now I'm kind, I feel like I'm kind of in a crisis with my relationship.

I've been with my boyfriend for eight years now. We've like gone back and forth between getting engaged and not, it's something I wanted for many years and moving forward in my life. And now we're both really at this make or break point where we feel like we either, you know, move forward or we break up.

And I feel like I'm at this crossroads right now and I just dunno what to do. And. What to do when you're at a crossroads, especially when it involves another [00:34:00] person. You need to get clear about what your non-negotiables are. And this comes right back to the topic for today. Getting clear about your desire, get very crystal clear about what is non-negotiable for you.

I can hear now marriage sounds like it's non-negotiable, like just another example, maybe children are non-negotiable. Maybe, you know, commitment is non-negotiable. Monogamy might be non-negotiable. Whatever your, your non-negotiables are, write them down, get crystal clear about them and don't mess with it.

If you are not clear about those non-negotiables, you're sending messages to the universe that this could maybe be okay. No, maybe it's a bad idea. Maybe it's a bad idea. Mm-hmm. I mean, I made a list. I know my non-negotiables. I guess I'm just like, after all this time, I [00:35:00] have a lot of my own, my tr my own trauma with the small T about, you know, trust and after all this time, like getting over that and I just don't know if I can, whatever your non-negotiables has to be that I feel like I can trust my partner I trust.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, share them with him. Yeah. I've done, I've done that and we've had like some discussions. I'm just also, yeah, I'm trying to get clear on what I want because I feel like that I, my life could go in one direction with him or right now, my whole life feels like it's changing directions right now with my new career and I've changed a lot in the past year.

Through your, your work. Through learning from you. And I'm just wondering, like I just don't know, like I've been trying to get some clarity from my guides and I'm having trouble getting that as [00:36:00] far as kind of like what path is in my highest good. Well go sit down and rewrite your non-negotiables because if you've changed things might have changed.

Yeah. Add to the list, rewrite the list. Get super crystal clear. I'm unapologetically asking for this. If you don't put that out there, you will not get what you want. Okay. Putting it out there means you don't get the thing that you thought you wanted because something better is on the way. Mm-hmm. Crystal clear, non-negotiables.

Mm-hmm. Go do it right now. Okay, I'll, thanks Gabby. You're welcome. Jessica. I think that the point here is that if you are going to get into that place of sifting [00:37:00] through the questionable desires and grounding yourself in the clear vision of what you want. It requires some courage. Mm-hmm. Here's courage to really just claim it.

Say it, own it, and sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes that means clearing space. Sometimes that means just stepping outside your comfort zone because it's far more uncomfortable to stick to the thing that you didn't really want than to rip off the bandaid and move in a different direction.

I'm saying that's what you should do. I'm just saying go look at that non-negotiable list and see if it matches up. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'll take some time and I'll do that. Absolutely. Well girl, thank you.

Congratulations on your your degree. Okay, so this is the story. The more clear you are, the more you'll receive what it is that you [00:38:00] genuinely desire.

That clarity has to be really, really boundaried. It has to be. Defined it has to be written down, claimed prayed for. It also can be surrendered because sometimes what you think you're clear about, there may be something even greater on the way. Sometimes you may speak that truth and clarity and get an uninspected result.

Clarity is king. Putting pen to paper, grounding yourself in the truth, giving yourself permission to want to desire. Just really putting it out there. When we're wishy-washy, when we're wavering, create all kinds of messy situations. Get clear, get super clear, and then you become a super attractor.

I love you so much. If you want more coaching, go to the trust the universe challenge Dear [00:39:00] gabby.com/universe challenge. I love you. I love you. Give yourself a hug. Tell yourself you love yourself. Give yourself that joy and that love and that connection that you want today. And expect miracles, my friend. Expect miracles.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, [email protected]. See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and [00:40:00] advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace.

I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.