free meditation
hero image emotional wellbeing

Are you tired of chasing your dreams only to feel like they’re getting further away?

For half of my life, I was the ultimate chaser. I chased the relationships, the career wins, and the external validation, thinking that once I “landed” them, I’d finally be whole. But that constant hustle actually led me down dark paths of addiction and burnout because I was using the “chase” to avoid what was happening on the inside.

Everything changed 20 years ago when I hit my knees and heard a voice say, “Get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.” That was the day I stopped chasing and started allowing.

In this special episode, recorded live at Lewis Howes’ Summit of Greatness, I’m sharing how you can make that same shift. Whether you’re struggling with comparing on social media or feeling blocked by deep-rooted core beliefs, I’ll show you how to surrender your desires so the Universe can finally deliver the miracles you’ve been blocking.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • The 3 Answers of the Universe: Why a “No” or a “Not Now” is actually a divine setup for “Something Better.”
  • The 24-Hour Surrender Experiment: A practical challenge to give your biggest dream away for one day to create space for guidance to enter.
  • How to Spot “Driftwood”: Why seeing someone else live your dream is actually a wink from the Universe that your desire is on its way.
  • The 4-Step “Self Help” Method: A simple practice (based on Internal Family Systems) to check in with the protective parts of you that are scared to let go of control.
  • The Secret to Manifesting Fast: Why having more fun is the ultimate shortcut to attracting your desires.

Stop white-knuckling your life and start trusting that you are being guided. When you stop chasing, you finally give the Universe permission to show you what it’s got!

Get More Gabby:

disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #306 Feb 23, 2026 emotional wellbeing

how giving up the chase can transform your life | gabrielle bernstein

The following podcast is a dear media production. Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host GabbyBernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. It was so awesome to see how much energy you guys brought last week to our beautiful podcast that we did on theFire Horse, the year of the Fire Horse, and now this week we're taking up the momentum, another notch.This is a live talk that I shared on how to stop chasing and start allowing. It's all about what happens when we stop chasing our dreams and start trusting the guidance that's already supporting us. And in this episode, you're gonna hear me open up about my own journey from addiction and burnout to [000100]surrender and trusting the universe and my spiritual path of living a life.Far beyond what I could have ever expected, and we're gonna explore the shadow side of chasing and how control and all the core beliefs of needing to get somewhere, all that future tripping, how it can really be in the way of what we desire most. I'm gonna guide you to see how you can give your dream over to the.Without giving up on it. I'll also share a really powerful practice that you can use when your fear and urgency and self-doubt starts to take over. And this is a practice that's going to probably change the way you experience your fear completely. This talk is so gorgeous and I'm so psyched that it's finally coming out so you can hear it with me.And if you love this live talk, which I know you will. I welcome you to come join me live. I'm gonna be going back out on tour. My tour this year is very timely. It's called the Time to Trust Tour. I'm gonna be leading live events inMarch in New York, and then I'm gonna [000200] be in April in Los Angeles.And then the following months I'm gonna be in Boston, London, and Miami.And these are live experiences where I'm gonna guide you to really strengthen your faith in the universe and activate your super attractor power and these
events. Definitely sell out, so be sure to check out the dates at deargabby.com/events. Okay, my friends, let's start the show.You guys are here and you're chasing your dreams. You're showing up, you're saying yes. You're saying yes to what you desire, you're saying yes to a vision that you've held. And in that chase for our dreams, we start to build this momentum and we start to feel this swell of energy. And we show up to events like this and we start to get inspired and ignited, and we feel this force behind us and we start to see invisible doors begin to open for us, and the universe starts to take the lead.[000300]But there's also a shadow side to chasing. Sometimes the things that we're chasing the most are the things that we're blocking the most. Does that sound right to you guys? So the secret to actually attracting your dreams and trusting that the universe is indeed guiding you towards those desires is sometimes to stop chasing and start allowing.And I'm really familiar with the chase guys. I am very familiar with the chase. I spent half my life chasing. I spent my half my life chasing the relationship,chasing the success, chasing the next client. Just chasing, chasing, chasing. And that chase took me down some really dark corners in my life. It took me down a lot of addictive processes and a lot of addictive habits.Addiction to drugs, addiction to love, addiction to cocaine. And that addiction brought me to my knees, and [000400] that addiction was a form of chasing, it was chasing something outside of myself, so I did not have to face what was happening on the inside. And by the grace of God 20 years ago. That addiction got so intense that I knew that the dreams that I genuinely wanted to chase were never going to manifest if I carried on on the path that I was living.I remember being at an after hours party. I was 25 years old. I was sitting in my studio apartment in New York City and I lived on the ground floor and there was like garbage cans outside the apartment. It was just, it was the classic NewYork City and I'm sitting in my apartment. Four o'clock in the morning with a bunch of strangers and we're hanging out doing drugs.I have no idea who these people are. And I'm looking at this stack of self-help books next to my bed, and I'm pointing to the books and I'm saying to these people, I'm gonna be a motivational  and a self-help book author. And that moment they were like, how's that working out for you? And it wasn't shortly after, it was about maybe a month later that I found myself back in that
[000500] studio apartment on my knees, on the floor, in tears hitting my bottom.Witnessing my life, witnessing the chase, witnessing how far I'd gone down the wrong sided path, and I said a prayer. I said, God, universe, whoever's out there,I need a miracle. And I heard this inner voice speak to me, and the voice said tome, get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.One day at a time. From that day onward, I made a commitment to stop chasing and start allowing,and right here, right now. I can stand here with you saying one day at a time,7,350 days, 20 years later, almost to the [000600] week, right here, right now.I can stand here with you, right here, right now. And I can say to you that one day at a time, turning over my desires, turning over my fears one day at a time,turning over the chase and trusting in a higher power greater than my.Self. I am standing with you now and I am no longer chasing. I am allowing. I am no longer chasing. I am trusting. And my friends. I am living a life beyond my wildest fucking dreams,and I am just getting started.And so I'm gonna ask you tonight, are you willing to look at the shadow side of the chasing. The parts of you that are thirsty, the parts of you that are workingso hard to the point of burnout, the parts of you that don't believe you are worthy, the parts of you that don't believe you are [000700] lovable, the parts of you that are holding you back from experiencing the miracle.Are you willing to witness that with me tonight? So what's blocking us from trusting the universe? What is it that blocks us from trusting the universe? From letting go of the chase and releasing the fears and blocks us from that belief and that faith in a higher power? What is it that blocks us? Here's the thing, what's blocking us?Our core beliefs. We have been caring for our entire life. You with me? I heard somebody go woo woo, and let's heal those beliefs. Let's witness those beliefs.Let's respect and honor those beliefs because they were placed in our life at apoint in time where we were very vulnerable and we were very, very, very young, and we did not have the resources or the love or the protection or the guidance around us to help us through whatever we experienced that made us detour into fear and forget the magnitude of who we are.
And so right [000800] here, right now, we can rebirth. We can reclaim that light today. We can witness the little girl, the little boy who did not have the experience of feeling lovable, feeling good enough, feeling like they could follow and chase their dreams. And today we can witness with a lot of love and compassion, and we can give it over to the universe today.We can recognize that the universe actually can't take from us, but we are not willing to give away. So I wanna try a little experiment with you guys for the next 24 hours. I want you to take that dream that you came here with that dream that you've been holding onto tightly, and I want you to give it away just for the day.Give it away just for the day. Anybody like, oh, no. Anyone, you got an Oh join the front here. What does that [000900] feel like to you? Oh, nos out there scary. If it feels scary, that means you gotta give it away. You with me? If it feels scary to let it go, if it feels scary to you, like, oh, surrendering that. Oh no.What would happen if I stopped hustling? What would happen if I stopped trying? What would happen if I stopped posting and stopped looking for the likes? What would happen? What would happen is that the universe would show up for you in ways that you could never, ever, ever have fathomed. Yes,let's hear it for that.What happens when we give it over is that we create space for an angelic force of energy to come behind us and guide us and give us direction. Good, orderly direction. We are put in the places that we need to be placed into when we're no longer trying to control our circumstances. We have creative ideas that come to us on the walk on the run, or in my case, at four o'clock in the morning thismorning.But these inspired [001000] ideas come through us and we write book after book after book in my case, because I just can't stop. And we keep going for the guidance because that guidance and that wisdom is coming through us whenwe're not in the way. And how do we get out of the way guys? We give it away.Give it away just for today, and I want you to feel that in this moment.I want you to just place that desire in your heart and place your hand on your heart for a moment. And if you want, you can close your eyes. And I wanna just give you permission right now to take this desire and place it in your heart. And this desire would not be placed in your heart if it were not meant for you, but if you hold onto it too tightly, it is not gonna be able to grow.
And so let's ask the universe in this moment right now to take this desire from us for 24 hours. We give it away. We don't need to do anything, but allow and let the universe show you what to do. And tomorrow, take a deep breath in and let's let that go. And I [001100] want you to just give it away and open your eyes and then tomorrow. Tomorrow when you wake up and you're giving it away and you notice yourself wanting to get back into that graspy nest, you give it away. Say, oh, Gabby told me to give it away. It's my homework. I gotta do it for 24 hours. And then I want you to notice thesynchronicities.I don't want you to notice what happens when you're in that stillness. 'cause you're not thirsty and you're not trying, and you're just in that stillness. And someone comes to you and they say, oh, let me tell you something. This is really interesting and it's this wild synchronicity and something gets planted in front of you that you never even thought was possible.And I want you to notice the grace, and I want you to notice the ease. And I want you to notice the feelings of serenity that pass over you. And then I want you to DM me on Instagram and tell me how it goes. And I'm gonna be looking for it now. The universe is always giving us the guidance that we need.Always, always, always. And the thing is, is that we [001200] sometimes missit because we're so in the flow of what we think we need. And have you ever noticed those times in your life where you just, in the flow, you're having fun,you're hanging out, and then boom, the thing that you really want, it just starts to fall into your lap?So. Let's have more fun guys. Let's have more fun. Let's have more fun because the universe works fast when you're having fun. So stop chasing and start trusting. Stop chasing and start allowing. Have fun. If you're loving this episode right now, I wanna welcome you to join me Live. This episode once again is coming from a live talk, and when I'm live on stage, I feel like. Everything shifts. I'm just most aligned. I'm channeling. I'm bringing in what is of my [001300] highest truth, and this yearI'm on tour with a really important message.
It's the time to trust tour. This tour is all about guiding you to really strengthen your faith in the universe, to believe and know that you are indeed being guided and to amp up your attracting power. With that sense of knowing inside, I will be in New York. Very soon. I'm gonna be in. Los Angeles, Boston, Miami,London, and I welcome you to Join Me.Join me live. It's an experience I do not want you to miss. So just head over todear gabby.com/events and join me for my live tour. Can't wait to see you there.Dear gabby.com/events, if you open my underwear drawer, you're gonna see one brand, one brand only, and it is skims. I have been. A devotee of skins since the brand hit the market.I just [001400] believe they just nailed it. Kim nailed it. They all nailed it. I wear my skims fits everybody's scoop foot bralette daily. I wear my little bralettes to sleep at night because I don't, you know, you don't wanna sag. Girls and I, I'm constantly buying the next new skims look, I've got the jackets. Got the sweats, I've got the jammies, I got the whole thing.I'm also obsessed with the cotton jersey full brief, which is one of my biggest pet peeves is when underwear stretches out and just loses its shape by noon.And fabric is really, really important to me. So it. This one never loses its shape,and I've worn and washed mine a hundred times over. These are the best products ever, and I recommend skins to every woman in life because it's a solution oriented brand that actually makes your clothes look and feel better,and it also is super sexy, and it makes you feel good in your body.I am pretty much sitting here right now wearing my Skims [001500] Braletand my skims. Cotton Jersey. Full brief underwear right now. That's what I'm doing. I'm cozy in my skims. So I want you to shop my favorite bras [email protected] and after you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey.And be sure to select Dear Gabby, in the dropdown menu that follows. I've been thinking a lot about how we manage our energy throughout the day, because let's be honest, it's very frustrating to battle all this cognitive overload, and I'm definitely facing brain fog at this point in my life, and I know I'm not alone in this because struggling to stay focused and feeling distracted on the back-to-back calls and just hitting the wall of decision fatigue and.All the running around that we have to do in life, we all wanna feel that tuned in feeling. And sometimes it's tempting just to reach for caffeine and it can make you feel really jittery and it can make you feel like you're having that intense
crash. But I found a much better way to navigate those mentally demanding parts of my day.And that's with Nature's Sunshine, brain Edge. Which combines hand harvested yerba mate with powerful nootropics to support [001600] focus, memory, and cognitive performance without the crash. It's a clean plant power drink mix that you can enjoy hot or cold, and it's become my go-to shortcut for alertness andmemory.And I'll admit, I was skeptical about brain supplements at first, but this one felt different because it's backed with over 50 years of experience sourcing the most potent ingredients, and it enhances focus and clarity. And because NootropicBotanicals help you concentrate and it supports memory and learning with ingredients like Bacopa and Ginkgo, and it delivers a smooth, sustained energy,which really is the whole thing.So don't fight through feeling foggy and lethargic, ignite your mentalperformance with brain. Edge Nature Sunshine is offering 20% off your first order plus free shipping. Go to nature sunshine.com and use code ga at checkout. That's code [email protected],and the universe is always giving you the answers that you need. [001700] The answers are always three answers. The answers are either yes, like a hell yes.Not now, or something. Way better is on the way, honey. And listen that something way better is on the way can sometimes be really tough. It can sometimes be really, really tough.And I, I had a big desire. I was chasing a big dream. I was chasing, and that dream was to have a second child. And I had one boy, his name's Ali. He'sseven and a half years old now, or six and a half, almost seven. Oh my God.And in 2020 I was 40 years old and I said, I'm gonna go do some IVF and I'm gonna have this baby.And I went and I started doing the IVF, and the only people I saw were the nurses. And I would go and visit the nurses. I'd be like, oh, girlfriends, I, you know, yesterday I made this sourdough, you know. You know, it was, it wasCOVID. Okay. So, and we would be in our masks and they were the only people I saw.And I would spend hours driving back and forth and in the joy, but month after month, I just wasn't getting any embryos. And I did nine rounds of IVF[001800] and no embryos until the last round. And the last round I got one
healthy embryo. And I said to the embryologist when she called me, she said,you have an embryo?And I said, do me a favor. I said, can you pray on my embryo? And she said,mm-hmm. And then I went and I did the transfer. And like I'm in the stirrups,you know, and in walks the embryologist and she's like, Gabby, I'm so sorry.This is so inappropriate. But I knew it was you when you told me to pray on theembryo.And she said, I read all your books. I'm literally in the stirs like, but it was so beautiful and it was this magical moment. You see the embryos going to you and it's just the most beautiful, divine thing. And I was pregnant with a babyboy.And I carried that baby for five and a half months. And in that time, my husband and I just kept saying, all you need is one. All you need is one. All you need is one. And he was our miracle embryo. [001900] At the 20 week scan,I'm in the room and the doctors start coming in after they looked at the scan.Lots of doctors start coming in and one of the doctors says, oh, do you have any other embryos?And I said, no. And my husband under his breath says, all you need is one. And that day they let us know that my son, Owen, was not gonna survive. He wasn't gonna be able to survive and he wasn't growing. And so I had to go through the journey of releasing this child. And witnessed myself held in the faith that I have established for two decades, and I realized, oh, this is the moment that I've been training for, can I still trust the universe even when the thing I wanted so badly was taken from me?As time went on, I started to heal and I started to feel really good and I startedto notice my life was quite busy. [002000] I have big dreams and big goals and big aspirations, and I've got this incredible little boy Oliver, who requires so much love and so much attention, and I have this amazing husband who requires so much love and so much attention, and I've got this big life and lots of people that rely on me and work for me, and I realized.Pretty fast. And I looked at my husband, I said, you know, honey, all we need isone.And there's no way I would've been able to know that if I hadn't had the courage to move through that pain and be the witness of the miracle that the universe presented me with. Which was this beautiful divine soul who came into my
body for five and a half months to know what it was to be loved by me, and to give me this great blessing of recognizing that was the only way I was gonna get there, was to exhaust all options and to recognize that all I need isone.[002100]And so I give this to you tonight because I welcome you to look at the setbacks.And to look at the obstacles and see these obstacles as detours in the right direction. And the setbacks could be setups for something greater. Imagine if you witnessed your life in that way. Imagine if you witnessed your life and you started looking at the difficult moments in your life, and you said, oh, well, you know what?What could that mean for me? I was talking to a girlfriend today and she was telling me all about how she and her partner, they broke up right before they were supposed to get engaged, and it was the most horrific thing in the world.And then they got back together and their love was so much stronger and the bond was so strong.And then during the fires, they lost their home. And they lost their home, but their bond was so strong when they got back together. And then they lived through that. And then they've been this journey of trying to conceive and the baby wasn't coming. And now she's in this place where she feels such a strong relationship to this husband, and now the [002200] babies can come in.And so she can see, even in the witnessing of this terribly difficult two and a half years, this woman had, she can witness. That this is exactly how it was meant to be, and here she is in this moment. And so I'm asking you even in the most difficult moments to witness these setbacks as opportunities or witness even the most difficult moments in your life as a spiritual opportunity for deep inner growth and deep inner healing and opportunity to get closer to a relationship, a spiritual relationship of your own understanding.And to strengthen your faith even more. It's when we hit our knees is when our faith can crack open and come through.And then I want you to recognize as you start to develop this faith and you give it away for a day and you have more fun, and you start to see the obstacles as detours in the right direction, and you start to feel that faith start to awaken in your life and you start to trust [002300] even more and a little bit more and a little bit more, and that trust gets stronger and stronger, I want you to witness the moments when you're gonna get the pull, that pull to start to go back into the
loop of controlling or back into the loop of chasing with that shadow side ofchasing.I want you to be the witness of it. I want you to pay attention to it, and I want you to witness it and see it and see what comes up for you. And in those moments when you notice it, I don't want you to check out from it. I want you to check in with it. And these are the four steps I've created in my new book,Self-Help.This is a book about therapy called Internal Family Systems Therapy. Yes. And now with the blessing of Dick Schwartz, the founder of IFS, I have been gifted the gift of being able to democratize this and simplify it. And so here are your four steps. You notice that part of you show up. That's like Uhoh. I gotta go chase again.Or I gotta go make that thing happen, or it's, I'm too scared to let it go. Like our friend in the front, we notice those parts, we witness them. Those parts of us are very young. Those parts of us [002400] can be parts that we've been protecting for a long time, and we witness them and we focus our attention inward and we notice where they are inside.Inside all of us is a resourced, undamaged. Internal healer, an internal parent.It's the God within us. It's the spirit within us. It's the love within us, and it is called Self with a capital S. And it is calm and compassionate and curious, and courageous and confident and creative. And it is this energy of compassion towards ourselves.And we all have access to it at all times. And so when you notice yourself.Checking out. I want you to remember Gabby said I could check in instead and choose to check in. Just choose to check in. Step one, check in. Step two,curiosity. Ask some questions. Where are you in my body? What do I know about you?Step three, compassion. What do you need? What do you need? And step forward. [002500] Check for self. Check for all those see qualities. Do you feel more calm? Do you feel more connected? Do you feel more clear? Do you feel creative? Notice those courageous feelings, those compassionate feelings.So can you guys give yourselves one minute a day?I just saved you a lot of therapy. I did. If you do it, and not that the therapy is not necessary because it really is, but you become your own inner therapist and you follow these steps one day at a time. One day at a time.
You can't manage your heart health if you're missing half of the info. 'cause alot of the standard tests and that are just sort of the basics, but they skip overmarkers that could change everything. And it's National Heart Month. And I've personally been digging much deeper into my own longevity and prevention.When I turned 40, my cholesterol went through the roof. I couldn't understand what it [002600] was. A lot of it was my hormones. I mean, I was working out all the time. I was eating really, really clean. It didn't matter. And what surprised me is that some of the biggest heart risk factors are genetic and invisible and most aren't tested in a standard physical and standard test check basic.But they often skip over the key metrics. And had I just gone with the basics, Ireally wouldn't have been able to get a hold of what was going on with me. And that's why I am really here proud to talk about function health. It doesn't tell you what to worry about. It shows you exactly what's happening inside your body.And I use this, I'd really recommend that you do. This platform is designed by world class physicians and trusted by hundreds of thousands of members and leading health experts like Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. Andrew Huberman. And you can stop guessing and stop being reactive, and you can start making choices based on real data-driven insights.Whether you're focused on hormones or stress or heart, getting more comprehensive view of your biology is the ultimate way to. Own your health.And so I was honestly shocked when I saw what I didn't know when I[002700] got the results back from function. So you can own your health and start with your heart function, gives you access to 160 plus lab tests each year,including advanced markers for heart health, inflammation, stress hormones,and toxins.For $365 a year, that's a dollar a day. Learn more and join using my link. Visitfunction health.com/dear Gabby, and use gift code dear Gabby, 25 for $25credit towards your membership. Support for today's episode comes fromSquare, the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites.Whether you're gearing up for a busy season, or you're just trying to keep up with everyday demand Square keeps your business running smoothly from payments and POS to online orders, inventory staff, and more, all in one place.So that you can focus on your customers, not your to-do list. And I've spent almost two decades building my own brand and coaching other entrepreneurs at times to find their flow.
So I know firsthand that nothing kills your creative energy faster than getting bogged down with all that [002800] administrative to-do lists. It's just takes you out. And that was recently at one of my favorite local spots, a little high-end wellness boutique, and I love to visit this place. And I noticed how much more present the owner was because she wasn't fumbling with technology and she uses square.That's what she said. She's like, square is saving me. And the checkout was so seamless and quiet, and it didn't disrupt the calm energy in the shop. And this is exactly how businesses should feel. They should feel like Square is helping businesses run smoothly. So staff can focus more on customers, nottransactions.And when your systems are unified, you gain the freedom to focus on your mission. Square brings payments, POS, inventory, staffing, and online sales together in one. So you don't have to juggle a dozen different things. Plus, if you're looking to grow sellers, use Square Software and see 9% higher sales onAverage Square helps you run your business more smoothly, bringing payments, operations, and insights together in one place.So you're ready for whatever's next. Right now, listeners, get up to $200 offsquare hardware [002900] when you sign [email protected]. Slash go slashGabby. That's square.com/go/gabby, get started with Square and build a setup that works the way you do.I wanna close this with letting you know that when you start to develop this inner relationship with self. When you start to give it away just for the day,when you start to have more fun, you start to live in the knowing that it's, yes,it's not now or it's something better on the way. That you start to feel that you can check in and you know there's an internal healer inside of you.You recognize that the universe has your back. You recognize that you are divinely guided. You recognize that the synchronicities and the the moments in your life where you think, oh my God, how could that be? That is [003000] natural. Miracles are natural, and when they are not occurring, it's because we've had a wrong minded thought that took us in the wrong direction.So when we reorganize our thinking and we reorganize our inner world and we turn it over one step at a time, one step at a time, one step at a time, one step at a time, the universe reveals to us dreams far beyond we could ever imagine, and we don't have to chase my friends. We stop chasing and we start allowing.
So I'm gonna leave you with that. You got work to do. You've got an opportunity here to take these dreams and to give them away and to trust one day at a time that something far greater than you could ever imagine will be revealed. [003100] I'm so excited that you're here. I'm so grateful for you.And did you guys enjoy so far what Gabby was sharing?Yeah. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. In this beautiful setting. Uh, you've had a lot go on in your life. We're talking about the challenges you've been through,but you've impacted so many people. Again, you've written a number one NewYork Time bestselling book, multiple New York Time bestselling books.What do you have 10 books now? 11, actually. 11. You just had a book on it and it's free. You guys should go download it. It's on Audible. It's an audible original. I saw that. Yeah. You just last seven habits of a super attractor. Yeah, it's free if you have an audible and you can probably try it for free audio. If you go on audible, search your name, you'll see. Yeah. Seven free habits of a super, super attractor. Yeah, free. Um, speaking of attracting, you know, this whole day I've been talking about my future self, what would my future self be proud of me doing now and what is my future self pulling at my heart? To bring me closer to whereI'm supposed to be going.And this could be kind of mini dreams or bigger callings that I have that I'vebeen talking [003200] about, but what do you think is the biggest thing that's blocking people from knowing what their dream is meant to be and then actually going for it? Knowing what it's meant to be, I think is sometimes I think we have these dreams and we have these desires, but we can strangle them a bit. How so
 we can think it has to be on this timeline, or he has to be this tall, orit has to be this much money, or it has to be, and then we can really try to forcethem into being. And so when we know that the desire is something that is meant for us in our hearts. It's important for us to recognize that all of the controlling around it isn't actually allowing it to come into form.And so I really wanna recognize that once you start to feel something and you know it's yours and your heart, that's when you really wanna let it go. What does that look and feel [003300] like? How do you know something's for you, but then you don't try to control it at all? Okay, so what does it look and feel like?Excellent question. You're the best interviewer. God, he's so damn good. He's so good. He listens Active listening, but, well, I mean, it's confusing to me 'cause I'm like, okay, I want this dream so badly, but now I'm just gonna let it go. Like, how do I do that so that Idon't stop thinking about it? Mm-hmm. Just, oh, I'm just gonna stop thinking about it and it's gonna come to me magically.But how do I. Not control it, but it still Yeah. Aligns with me. Yeah. Yeah. So aligns is the word. When we have these big dreams and we feel them and we feel so excited about them, I want you to actually lean into the excitement of them and the joy of them and the visioning of them. I was with a girlfriend yesterday and I was, we were all hanging out with a group and then all of a sudden I started noticing her and she started drawing on this piece of paper and I was like, what the hell is she doing?Is she doing some work or something? And then she finishes this drawing and she comes to me and she grabs my hand. She goes, Gabby, come sit down with me. And we sit down and she, [003400] she starts reading to me. This incredible piece of art. She said, I made this for you, and it said, Gabby 2027.And then she showed this little, little like stick figure of me and it says.
Me with a little bubble. Oh my God, I can't believe my wildest dreams have come into form. And then she sees a little phone call, and then there's another person calling me and she said, this is your agent calling you. Oh my God,Gabby, the ratings are far beyond we could have ever imagined. And then shesaid, and then here you are.You're calling me and you're telling me, holy crap, we did it. I can't believe I did. I landed it. We did it, and then here you are. And she kept going on and on with the whole story, and at the very end, she put me in a little heart with my son and my husband. She said, now here you are with Ollie and Zach, and you're in Portugal and you're just on the beach and you're celebrating all these successes that you created.I was in buckets of tears, guys. Wow. Buckets of tears. And it wasn't just because of the gift that she was giving me, but it was because I could see it through to the end. I could [003500] see the whole vision. And then I started feeling the vision and I started allowing it to be, and I looked at her and I waslike, it's already happened, honey.That's manifesting. That's manifesting. Seeing it through and like genuinely feeling it, feeling it. I know you did this. I knew you way before you were you.You were little, you little Lewis came to me at a bar one and he is like, ah,Gabby. And he had this dream, and I know you felt it in your body and in yourbones.And so how do you know these dreams are for you is because you feel it. Mm-hmm. You feel the feeling of it. And the other thing is you have to recognize that it's a feeling. It's not a needing, because we can sometimes have these shadow dreams. That we have because we think when I get that thing,then I'm gonna be complete.When I have that next whatever, that's when I'm gonna feel good enough or that's when I'm gonna make that accomplishment. [003600] That's when I'm gonna da da. It's quite the opposite. It's the feeling that manifests, not the thing that we need to get you with me. Yes. Okay, nice. What's the thing that you. Or dreaming about that you wannamanifest, that you've been trying to control, that you need to let go of?
 You could probably answer this question for me. Um, I think, I think that control for me was a part, right? We talked about these protector parts and for me, I experienced trauma as a child. And I much like Lewis and we've been both being very vocal about this. And so I had a controller part that would try to control everything to feel safe.And so it really took a long time and I think, I think that the control was what actually was in the way of the dream because the control, it wasn't that there was anything wrong with the dream and the actions I was taking towards the dream were all beautiful and divine. But the control was blocking the dream from getting to [003700] where it needs to go.And that's why I don't even think I've started my mission really. I barely even scratched the surface. Wow. I've not started my career at all. And I mean that from the standpoint of you can have a second act, you can have a third act, and.When you stop controlling and you stop blocking, then the things starthappening.Yes. And so I think that the controlling was the block and the controlling for me was just a part of me. And I've done so much beautiful therapy on, and all the self-help tools that I just taught you today and the IFS therapy and I've given my little girls. So much love and so much care, and I mean, you and I, we rocked it.Yes, we rocked it. We saved our babies and we did, and and I just encourage you all to do the work. Just get to work, self-help. This, this is a good place tostart. What do you think is the, the biggest universal block that holds either most people back here or most people in the world from fully going all in and achieving what they want them? I'm not good enough. [003800] I'm not good enough. And we all have it. We all have it. I mean, I literally sat with my girlfriend. She is running the most massive business. Like she's got the most success on the planet. You know, I'm sitting there with her and she's like, I think I'm a bad person, really.You know what I mean?Like we all have these like, and not that she really believes that, but she said,my part thinks I'm a bad person. You know what Gabby Bernstein part goes to?When she gets triggered, I'm a piece of shit. That's where I go. So we've gotthese burden beliefs and these burden beliefs. They're thoughts that we keep thinking, they're patterns that we keep creating.
They're protection mechanisms that run our lives. And the only way out of them, the only way out is in. And remember recognizing as my mentor, DickSchwar says, you are the one you've been waiting for. So you turn your attention inward and you start to create a relationship with these parts of yourself, and you befriend the parts of yourself that believe that you're not goodenough.Instead of checking [003900] out and picking up the drink and checking out and going for that date, or checking out and doing the drugs or watching theYouTube, you check in. Mm. And you befriend the parts of yourself that you've been running from,and you don't have to figure it out. I wrote it for you. It's in there. I wrote it for you. I, I did it because I want you to know how to do it. We did it a little bit tonight. What do you think is the thing that will unlock the most abundance in your life for the next decade when you continue to go deeper inside of yourself to create that freedom? For me or personally? For me personally? What's gonna unlock? Because you've already created so much, 11 massive books, your impact in the world. You say you're starting your second act, it's gonna be bigger. You, I've already unlocked it, honey. Okay? Mm-hmm. Alright, that's good. It's unlocked. Okay, good.
 Yeah, it's unlocked.I also went into menopause at 45, so, which was kind of awesome because when you [004000] go through menopause, you're like, you have no more shits to give, right girls. And then you're like, okay, let's go. And what do you think? Um, how many, how many women are in their thirties, forties, and fifties in here? Lemme just show hands.Okay, cool. For the ladies in their thirties, forties, and fifties, what do you think is holding them back? They're not, you know, in their teens anymore. They're not their early twenties anymore. They're kind of hopefully figured out their,some of their career or their family or their marriage, or they're figuring thingsout.What do you think is holding this kind of age range back the most and what's available? To really get to the next level. Okay, so one thing I will start with is comparisonitis. Is that what women do? Yes. Men don't do it. Men don't do it. I'm, I mean, who are you? Unicorns, comparisonitis. We've got these little things in her hands come more like, oh, she looks [004100] good and she's doing this,and he's doing that.And what am I, what am I doing? I'm not momming the way I should be.Momming. Ah, right. I'm not where I should be yet. Guys turn the phone off.Unfollow. I want you tonight go unfollow anyone that does not make you feel a high vibration. Mm. Do it tonight. I mean, you'll skyrocket your manifestation if you start doing that. Unfollow all them.
 Because when we start comparing more all day long, what are we saying to. The universe, God or our dreams, when we're constantly in comparison, right? So when we see somebody and we're thinking all the time,oh, they've got the thing that I want and I'm not gonna have it, then we're telling the universe I can't have it.But when we look at that person and we instead choose to witness their grace and their success and the things that they have as drift with, and we start to say,oh, I'm seeing that because that's actually a reflection of what I want inside.That's a reflection of me. [004200] That flip can totally shift it for you, but even if you try that and you still feel low vibration, watching them unfollow. Yeah. Any final words for this audience? Yeah. No matter what's happening in your life right now, no matter how hard it is, no matter how difficult it might feel in this moment, if you choose today to make a commitment. To focus your attention inside and start to tend to these younger parts of yourself that need your attention.Anything's possible. Mm-hmm. And you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams. Mm.Give it up everyone for Gabby Bernstein. If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're[004300] truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at GabbyBernstein.And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby,[email protected]. See you next week.
Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire,and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a [004400] psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.