Today’s episode of the Dear Gabby podcast is a BIG one! The topic is radical honesty. 

As a sober woman, truth is a high priority for me. Telling the truth is a huge commitment that I made 16 years ago when I got clean.

Cleaning up my behavior didn’t just mean quitting drugs and alcohol…it also meant being a clean person

When I got clean, I made the commitment to myself and others to be radically honest and not to hide. I also became curious: What is behind the need to hide? 

That inquiry was a driving force behind the greatest healing journey of my life, which I write about in my latest book, Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace

My commitment to the truth shows up on every page of that book. Because before I could get happy, I had to get radically honest. 

We’re often afraid to tell the truth. But when we become honest, that’s when we become free! 

When we are honest and truthful, we feel a greater sense of safety in our relationships. Honesty opens the door to a deeper level of vulnerability, connection and trust. 

When we bravely tell the truth, we claim our voice, our boundaries and our needs. And I want to show you how. 

A Deep Dive Into Radical Honesty

Today’s episode of the Dear Gabby podcast will serve you greatly. Press play to learn: 

  • How to be radically honest with someone you’re upset with, without making the other person feel judged or attacked 
  • A simple prayer you can use to clean up your energy before a tough conversation (this prayer will instantly ground you in an energy of compassion)
  • Why telling the truth is a powerful form of self-care—and all the life-changing benefits you’ll reap from being honest!
  • A spiritual method for repairing broken bonds in a relationship (this works miracuously) 

These practices will shift your relationships with everyone in your life. 

By being honest, you can step into the most authentic, powerful and SEXY version of yourself!

The Body Love Challenge

Telling the truth offers profound relief in your mind and in your body. In my own healing journey, I’ve developed powerful methods to feel peaceful, safe and free in my body. And now I want to share those methods with you! 

BIG NEWS … 

My brand new Body Love Challenge offers 21 days of powerful exercises, meditations and guidance to help you develop a deeper spiritual relationship with your body. It starts July 1st and is exclusively available to Miracle Members. You don’t want to miss this!

Inside the challenge, I’ll lead you through: 

  • 21 transformative exercises to reframe your relationship with your body
  • Spiritual practices to cultivate a full-body sense of peace
  • Gentle techniques to help you appreciate ALL of who you are
  • Nourishing meditations to calm your nervous system

Take a look at what Miracle Members have in store with this challenge?!

PLUS, in the Miracle Membership you get: 

  • Weekly coaching lessons: New spiritual lessons delivered to your inbox each week! 
  • 4 quarterly 21-day challenges: Manifesting (January), Meditation (April), Body Love (July), Relationship (October)
  • Guided meditations to calm, soothe and inspire you (I send a new one each week!) 
  • Community connection in our Facebook group with thousands of like-minded miracle workers
  • An all-access pass to our content library full of dozens of meditations, workshops and live talks about manifesting, relationships, abundance and more! 

Join the Miracle Membership and Body Love Challenge now!

Radical Honesty & Compassion

The tools I offer in the Miracle Membership and each of my challenges are designed to shift your life in miraculous ways. I hope that today’s episode of the Dear Gabby podcast is life-changing for you, too! 

Before you press play, read this prayer and take in the energy of its words: 

Thank you, Universe, for speaking through me and helping me land in a place of compassion. 

Then sit back, listen to this podcast, and get ready to tell the truth with ease! 

Get More Gabby

Want more of my coaching? I created the Miracle Membership to help you design a spiritual practice that you can stick to. Each week I deliver brand new workshops, guided meditations and so much more. Plus, Miracle Members have access to my archives, which has hundreds of hours of content. AND I’ll take you through a 21-day challenge each quarter! On July 1, I’m kicking off my BRAND NEW Body Love Challenge. It’s exclusively available to Miracle Members, and you do not want to miss this. Click here to join.

If you feel you need additional support, please refer to this list of safety, recovery and mental health resources. I’m proud of you for being here. 

On this episode of the Dear Gabby Podcast, I referenced the Spirit Junkie Masterclass. This is the ultimate 8-week training on how to confidently pursue your passion. I’ll teach you how to get crystal clear on your purpose and infuse spirituality into whatever kind of work you do in the world. (I’ve trained everyone from lawyers to health coaches and spiritual teachers!) Register now

On today’s episode of Dear Gabby, I mentioned two of my books. The Universe Has Your Back shares my methods for tapping into spiritual guidance. And in Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace, I offer support to help you feel safe as you tap into your truth. 

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey toward inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Transcript

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here, this podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor a...

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here, this podcast is intended to educate, inspire and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional, health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Big episode, big episode today. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. I’m kind of laughing at myself because the depth of this episode is, uh, no small topic, no small topic. It’s a topic of radical honesty, the topic of why it’s so important to tell the truth. As a sober woman, I put truth as a high priority.

Being sober means I, I tell the truth. It’s, it’s, it’s a huge commitment that I made 16 years ago when I got clean, not just to get clean off of drugs and alcohol, but to just get clean in my life. To make the commitment to myself, to others, to be radically honest. To not hide. There’s this beautiful quote from a course in miracles, be not afraid of what is hidden, be afraid of it’s hiddenness. I’m botching the quote. Sorry about that.

But the hiddenness why are we hiding? What is it behind the need to. That’s a big inquiry today. That’s a big inquiry. Many of us are walking through life with a lot of things that we may feel ashamed of or creating drama in our life because we’re self-sabotaging or struggling with situations that may be really uncomfortable.

All that’s very natural, but what’s not particularly natural for us is to tell the truth about it. Ironically, that actually is the resolution. When we become honest, not just in our behavior, but in our communication of what’s up, that’s when we become free. That’s when we feel a sense of safety within our relationships, within our connections, when we are honest and truthful, that’s when we open the door for a deeper level of vulnerability and connection. Trust. Trust.

For me and my relationships at the stage of 42 years old, my relationships have to be in that cocoon, that womb of trust. I have to be able to really know that I’m gonna show up the way I say I’m going to show up and I need to know that’s gonna be the same coming from whoever is reciprocating. So when we wanna tell the truth, we have a few steps that I wanna identify today, but the first thing is noticing for ourselves what it is that we may need to be truthful about; cleaning up our side of the street.

So, if you share your truth without cleaning up your side of the street, it’s gonna feel like an attack on the other person and they’re gonna feel judged. So let’s say you’re upset with a friend about something that they’ve done and you hit them with the truth and that truth is backed with your own shit.

It’s backed with your judgment, your rage, your child parts, your traumas. It actually then makes it as though you are the attacker. Rather than the gentle witness and the gentle honest truth.

So that’s why, before you tell the truth, it’s always important to take care of your side of the street. If you feel called to get honest with someone, ask what is it within me that’s triggered right now. What’s feeling activated right now.

And then you have to do whatever it takes to clear up that negative energy and that activation before you bring the truth forward, maybe it’s sitting in a meditation and practicing, releasing, and forgiving the person or sending them a prayer. Often, prayer is great, you know, saying thank you universe or spirit or God for speaking through me and helping me land in a place of compassion.

Just clean up your energy before you deliver the truth. Clean up your energy before you deliver the truth. That’s that’s the bottom line here. When you bring your truth forward from a place that is clean and grounded, and from that place of self energy, which is what we talk about a lot here in ifs and internal family system, self energy, the compassionate, courageous, curious, calm, creative part of who you are.

If you can be in that state, you can pretty much say anything. It becomes effortless.

And that brings us to the second step, which is to tell the truth from a place of love. Whew big. A lot of times, truth comes out in real nasty ways. You know, it’s a lot of like cursing and kind of anger and rage. But if you’ve done that work prior to really get yourself grounded and looking at your triggers and honoring your wounds and healing your spot and your energy before you bring it forward, you’re gonna be in that energy of love.

And when you get honest from that place of love, you can tell that truth with a lot of ease and you’re gonna also feel healed in the healing of that relationship. But if you tell the truth from a place of negativity or judgment, you’re gonna actually not be heard. You’re gonna deflect the connection. You’re gonna break the bond and unfortunately not actually get to the place that you wanna get to.

So we wanna tell the truth from a place of love. The benefit of telling the truth is to start to take care of yourself. You start to own your voice. You own your boundaries, you own your needs. You protect yourself in a way that’s very healthy and you stick up for your values no matter what.

And you get clear with someone about what your non-negotiables are. You know, this is my truth, but if it doesn’t come from that energy of love, it’s not gonna really be effective. And then next, I really want you to be in the practice of letting the other person tell their truth. You can’t just come to somebody and say, hey, here’s all my truth. Even if it’s with a lot of love and compassion and not be a container, that’s safe enough for them to really express their own.

You need to open up your arms and say, okay, I’m gonna share this with you. And now I wanna hold space for you to share your truth with me. And this is a gorgeous opportunity. To really recognize there’s always two sides of the street in every story.

Even if the person is completely quote unquote air quotes in the wrong, they still are having an experience that deserves to be heard. And clearing the energy from that space and that place of really calmly holding that energy for somebody else, it gives them a really big healing opportunity.

So you wanna listen with compassion, which can be really challenging if you’re already triggered by the person. But if you’ve done the first two steps of clearing the energy and speaking truth from love, you can then be in a place that’s really very relieved and at ease, and you can even prepare your conversation by just, you know, once again saying a prayer or getting yourself into that energy with a meditation and then hold them in the conversation, just let them riff, let them express their truth and don’t speak back.

Make the commitment before they start sharing that, you’re just gonna, listen, you’re not gonna speak back. You’re just going to listen. And that’s the same that you would expect from them. But holding somebody in that truth is just an extraordinary expression of, of the God within us. Because when we tell the truth, we dissolve the boundaries of the ego.

We release the stories of our own traumatic experience and instead connect and reconnect with the grace of who we all are. Telling the truth clears you of holding the burden of your own rage and anger. Telling the truth, allows the other person to be the witness of how they may create and affect others.

Telling the truth gives possibility in your relationships so that you’re no longer running and avoiding and attacking and enraged and resentful, but instead relieved, relaxed and reconnected. There’s a bond in all relationships, and when that bond is broken because of mistrust, the only way to repair is by returning to the truth.

This is a topic that’s really meaningful to me today, and I hope it inspires you in your own life to start to tell the truth more. I hope it inspires you today to think about how you can get yourself into a loving state and bring that truthful love to a conversation with a friend and just let them know how you feel. Or tell them something that you’ve been hiding. Or be a little bit more real.

All the world wants from us is our authentic truth. And in that place of truth, we actually become free.

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help Online therapy. Life can be very overwhelming. A lot of us are feeling burnt out. We’ve got a lot of stressors. More than ever right here right now. And sometimes we can really lose our sense of creativity, feel tired. At the very worst, feel, very helpless and trapped.

These are all really common symptoms of burnout. And I always know exactly when I’m going down that path because I start to feel far less creative and my energy’s very low. And my body starts to tell me, yeah, Gabby slow down, girl slow down! And we associate burnout with work, but that’s not the only cause. Any of our roles in life can really lead us to burnout.

And that’s why I’m really happy that Better Help Online Therapy is here, to help you prioritize yourself. Talking with someone can help you figure out what’s causing all of the stress in your life and you can really start to get to the root cause of it. So you can heal. Therapy is one of the most important parts of my life.

And in many ways it gave me my life back. I can’t recommend. Therapy enough. In fact, it’s something that I recommend probably on every single episode of Dear Gabby, because when people come here, you have these beautiful transformational experiences and guidance to move ahead. But without the support of a therapist, we can’t always go to those deeper places that we need to.

The therapist creates a safer baseline for us to really connect more deeply to the parts of ourselves that need more support and guidance. That’s why I’m really, really proud to have Better Help as a sponsor here on the show. Therapy is the best way for you to experience the relief that you need and Better Help is customized online therapy that offers video, phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist.

So you don’t have to see anyone on camera. You can just get on the phone, it’s very simple. And it’s much more affordable than in-person therapy. And you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours.

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. And Dear Gabby listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com/DearGabby. That’s B E T T E R H E L P.com/DearGabby.

I’ve been cooking again, cooking, cooking, cooking. And if you’ve ever watched me on Instagram, you’ve seen my show, the Gabby cooking show. And in the summer, I love to barbecue. I really love to make lots of salads and then barbecue.

If you’re a frequent listener, you know, that cooking is one of my favorite hobbies. Something that’s really important to me is that I cook with the highest quality ingredients, particularly when it comes to meat, especially when it comes to meat. It not only tastes way better, but I also need to trust that my son Ollie, isn’t eating anything that contains antibiotics or hormones. And I don’t want that in my body.

So when butcher box arrived at my door, I was really psyched. Butcher box is a subscription service that takes the guesswork out of finding highly quality meat. They source all of their meat from partners with the highest standards for quality. No more search and grocery stores for 100% grass fed beef, free range, organic chicken, or wild caught seafood.

You know, this box contains everything that you need. Plus their sourcing decisions are made holistically keeping the farmer and the planet in mind. The other night, I made the most incredible fish from Butcher Box and my family were freaking out. My husband loved it and my son even ate it. It was really delicious.

My husband said that the quality of the fish was like a favorite restaurant in New York city. And the best thing about butcher box is that they are so convenient. I need convenience. At this stage, I’m so busy. I need it. Not only does it come straight to your door, but they have free shipping for continental us.

And I can trust that when it comes to my door, there’s no antibiotics or added hormones. Each box contains 18 to 14 pounds of meat, depending on the box you choose. And that’s enough for 24 individual meals. Customize your own box or go with one of theirs, either way you get exactly what you want. Get summer sizzling on the barbecue with this special Butcher Box deal for our listeners free bacon for life of your membership. Plus $10 off. Sign up today at butcherbox.com/Gabby and use code Gabby to get one pack of free bacon in every box for life of your membership. Plus $10 off the first order. That’s butcher box.com/Gabby and use code Gabby to claim this deal.

Let’s do it. Let’s take this topic super seriously today, guys. Let’s take it super seriously. Give yourself permission right now to send some compassion and love to yourself by getting honest with yourself about the ways that you may have been hiding or the ways that you’ve been not taking care of yourself by just pushing things under the rug.

And let’s listen to whatever questions come through. Now, I’m gonna bring in some guests and see how this topic specifically affects them and how I can guide them to deepen their commitment to the truth in their own life. This is, uh, I, I hope this is gonna be a, a big life changing episode for you.

I believe that if you take these methods and practices seriously, and even just the idea of being more honest, that everything will change. And you’ll start to bring this practice into every corner of your life. The biggest thing, the biggest message is that if you are find yourself into that place of compassion and courage, calmness, curiosity, creativity, the eight C qualities of self energy, then you are in Self.

And from that place of Self with the capital S you can say anything and it will be received with love.

Sam, let’s see, who wants to tell the truth today?

GUEST: Hi, Gabby.

GABBY: Hi babes. How you doing?

GUEST: This is my first time. And I’ve been like listening to you for like seven years. I bought your first book, The Universe Has Your Back. One of your first books. Thank you. I’m super happy to be here. I’m so glad that I joined today. I’m so I feel like I’m telling myself a lie that I’m happy in my life and the way things are like on the outside, I kind of look like I have it all together. I just got promoted. I’m making over six figures. I live in Seattle. I’m single. I have good friends and family, but I’m just really not happy with my life at the moment. And I feel like, like the other day I kind of had this realization that, uh, nothing seems meaningful except human connection. Like my job doesn’t feel meaningful. And just everything else about life, like, you know, romantic relationships, nothing like that.

So yeah, it just kind of feels like I’m lying to myself that I’m happy because I want it to be okay, but it’s really not and I’m trying to figure out what do I need to do?

GABBY: Well, you’re doing it coming on the show today is no accident ever, never an accident. The fact that you’re the first person that we’re bringing in no accident. The fact that the topic is truth telling.

No accident, you’re already doing it, my love, because you just came on a live show in front of people that are listening and then to a show that will have many, many, many listeners later. And you told the truth. You told me the truth. You came out with a truth that so many people actually never actually get to in their lifetime.

So many people, even people that are very dear to me who seem like they’ve got it all going on, right? Like the partner, the money, the kids, whatever, but they don’t admit that they’re not happy. That truthful expression of where you are at is a radical step forward in getting to where you wanna be. If we are not brave enough to witness what isn’t working, how could we find any solutions?

So congratulations. Step one, complete. You just told the truth from a place that was not, you weren’t judging yourself. You weren’t minimizing your experience. You weren’t playing it down. You were just in your truth. That connection that you just offered me, first of all, thank you, it’s really beautiful to be in the presence of someone’s truth and that connection that you just offered me is that bond that you’re looking for. Is that human connection that you’re looking for.

And the irony is that the more honest we are and the more truthful we are, the more connected we feel, I feel really connected to you right now. I don’t know you, you’re in Seattle. I feel super connected to you.

And that true connection, actually, when you go on a date is what’s sexy. That’s the sexiest part of who we are. So imagine showing up to your next date, being as authentically you as you are right here right now. Hey, you know? Yeah. I’ve got this job, I’ve got this stuff. I’m like still working on myself. It’s got some stuff going on telling, or even just energetically being in the energy that you’re in right here, right now. A lot of people come on this show in the first, like second or two, they’re really kind of nervous. Cuz of course like anyone that’s like speaking publicly in any ways gets nervous and they’re kinda like, hey Gabby, you know, you came right in baby, right in with just truth. This is where I’m at. That is so dope. You are awesome.

The fastest way to connection, whether it be romantically or connection with friends or connection with family is to start getting more comfortable being in this energy that you’re in right now. It’s not necessarily about like getting the thing to make you happy.

It’s about being in the energy that you wanna be in. So that, that energetic presence is the piece, is the inner freedom, is the safety, is the security, is the joy. And we have so many reasons that we block that. No relationship can fill the truth that needs to come through authentically. So I think that the solution, which is, you know, the desire for connection, right, or the, the goal, which is the desire for connection, is solved with creating more connection.

GUEST: Mm-hmm yes.

GABBY: The universe is always responding to what we put. So, if we are putting out anything, that’s not, that’s lacking in that truth, we’re not gonna be able to attract more of it. So, so right now I want you to practice creating more connection, which is being more authentically you in your work relationships, in your friendships, in your family relationships, on a date, wherever you are, let you come through, just like you did with m just now.

It doesn’t mean you need to go like emote everywhere, you know, but it means that you’re just, you’re just in that bluntness, you’re in that unapologetic state of, yeah, this is where I’m at. And the, it sounds to me, I’m just picking up on this for you, but it sounds to me like the truth is that the thing that you’re missing most is this partner as a partner in your life.

GUEST: Yeah, I would agree with that. Totally. Yeah.

GABBY: So there’s some stuff sometimes that we have to undo to be able to become the point of attraction so that that partner can find us. Cause the partner’s out there, oh, your nails are so sexy. Um, the partner is out there. It’s getting you into the energy. That is the magnetic force for them to find you.

And I really mean that with all of my heart so go to dear gabby.com/attachment. Take my attachment quiz. Figure out what your attachment style is. And then following that there’s guidance on how you can begin to show up for your relationships with a better understanding of what your needs are and who you are and what maybe the ways that you’re blocking your relationships.

So go do that. Free quiz, deargabby.com/attachment. And then the other piece of homework for you is to just continue to show up grounded in your truth. So your truth might be silly. Your truth might be serious. Your truth might be blunt. Get into it, enjoy it. Feel good in that space. The more you get into that space, the sexier you become, there’s nothing sexier than your authentic truth. I mean that with all of my heart.

GUEST: Yeah. I’ve, I’ve seen people in their authentic truth and they’re very sexy.

GABBY: So sexy, right? It’s just so hot. Like somebody that just shows up and they’re like, yo, this is who I am. You know, it’s like the stories, the pretenses, the clothes, the hair, the looks, it doesn’t fucking matter.

It just goes out the window and you could have all that and be like the perfect, most pristine little Barbie or whatever we see out there without that truth. Totally unattractive, totally disconnected. The truth is what resonates. The truth is what attracts. This was great. I feel like some crazy stuff is gonna wildly manifest into your life soon.

GUEST: Yeah. Can I share a quick story about something that you taught me seven years ago when I read your book? So I, I read The Universe Has Your Back. I was about to move for the first time ever in my life, outta my parents’ house at 28 years old to Seattle for this big job. And I was so conflicted and I had so much fear because I was, my parents really wanted me to stay home because we’re a small family and they’re like, no, you can’t move to Seattle. That’s too far away from us.

So I asked for a sign and I used, it was like an affirmation or something in your book. And I went to sleep and the next morning I woke up. And it was before my alarm and I was just so wide awake and I pulled up Instagram and the first image was Pike Place Market. It was these like star lanterns.

And I was like, oh my God, that worked and that’s my sign. And I was like moved to tears. Because now I had like, just totally knew, like this was the right thing for me. And it turned out to be the best decision ever. Like, you know, I’ve lived in Seattle for seven years now and I really can’t see myself living anywhere else. And I’m, you know, incredibly content, but not, you know?

GABBY: You want more?

GUEST: Yeah.

GABBY: And that’s cool too. That’s cool too.

GUEST: Thank you so much.

GABBY: I am so excited to send you off into the world in your authentic truth.

GUESTT: Yeah, I needed this today. Thank you.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Thank you.

If you’ve read my book, Happy Days, you know, how much I struggled with my gut health. Our gut literally impacts everything. Our weight, our mood, our skin, our digestion. For me, it was really affecting my fertility. It was affecting my moods. It was affecting my sleep. It was affecting my physical wellbeing, how I felt physically. And because our gut houses, 80% of our immune system, healthy gut is truly the gateway to feeling our best.

But unfortunately, our bodies are being attacked every single day and wreaking havoc on our gut. Stress and toxins, and even one day of eating the Western diet can really mess up your gut. And thankfully with Just Thrive probiotic, it’s now easier than ever to give your gut what it needs to thrive.

A probiotic is what really was a crucial turning point for me. And for me now, as my gut health has improved, Just Thrive probiotic is keeping me on track and really one of those things that I know can just be one of those consistent, amazing ways I can just commit to my gut. Stay healthy. Feel good on the road when I’m eating different kinds of foods and Just Thrive’s breakthrough award-winning probiotic is the only one on the market that’s proven to turn your gut into an antioxidant factory.

This probiotic actually produces antioxidants right in your gut. Meaning you get maximum immune digestive and total body health support. Plus just Thrive’s formula is vegan friendly, gluten free dairy free histamine, free non-GMO. And the best part is that you can open the capsule and just sprinkle it onto your food or your favorite recipe. Just Thrive has been loudly endorsed by some of the best luminaries in the health and wellness fields.

So if you’re looking for the best in gut health and immune support, choose the clinically proven, wward-winning power of Just Thrive probiotic. For a limited time, get 15% off. Sitewide when you go to justhrivehealth.com and use code “Gabby” at checkout.

During the summer, I spend most of my time outside. Whether I’m just, you know, catching some vitamin D or eating lunch and just going for a walk with friends, playing tennis. And since summer doesn’t last forever, I really don’t wanna spend so many hours in the grocery store trying to meal plan.

With Splendid Spoon you can make more time to enjoy the season and feel great with plant-based meals that require no prep time. Splendid spoon sends delicious, plant-based ready to eat meals and snacks right to your door. And it’s been so nice to have splendid spoon for lunch every day. Their Kim-she fried quinoa is next level.

I also love their roasted cauliflower grain bowl. The tahini sauce is my absolute favorite. I was honestly so surprised how much flavor there is in these plant-based meals.

Splendid Spoon meals are shipped right to your door, ready to eat. You only lift a finger to press start on your microwave.

Splendid Spoon fits into any schedule. And there’s a meal plan for everyone. And every meal is customizable. So you get what you want every single time. And every single meal’s a hundred percent plant-based, gluten-free and GMO free, always made with plenty of vegetables, legumes, healthy fats, whole grains, and spices from all over the world.

Enjoy a fresh take on classic dishes like their fan favorite vegan meatballs and their marinara noodles. They’ve got plenty of smoothies, which my son is obsessed with. They’ve got soup bowls, noodle bowls, and all this beautiful food that you can discover.

With over 50 choices and constantly rotating menus, this is the way to set yourself up for freedom this summer and delicious food. Eat well and enjoy more of your summer with Splendid Spoon. Get started today. Save on an entire week of ready, made plant-based meals. Just go to splendidspoon.com/gabby for $50 off your first box when you subscribe. That’s $50 off at splendidspoon.com/gabby.

GABBY: Hi honey, how are you?

GUEST: I’m doing well and, uh, even better now to see your face and be on here.

GABBY: I see A Course in Miracles. I see all of my books in the background. Oh my God. Like my face face out. You are a Gabby reader. Here you are. Wow. And look at all your books. So cool.

GUEST: My books, my books. Yeah. I’ve got you and Wayne, next to my book I’m manifesting as we speak that I’m writing so..

GABBY: Great energy.

GUEST: Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Great topic. Actually, I, at first I was like, oh, I’m, I’m good. I’m good with this one. And then you said some stuff that. Ugh. So yeah, I feel for me, you know, sobriety and recovery is part of my story.

So that was wonderful. And the secrets part, you know, that I kept that did keep me sick that once I finally released those and told the truth and no longer let that hold me back anymore and have power over me, my life shifted and, and, and changed in so many wonderful ways. And one of them was the more I gave myself permission to speak my truth, uh, the more, it was hard to live a life without it. Right. And the more I became who I was and started making some huge changes. And one of them was to leave my corporate job. I too, in, in Seattle. So I don’t know, Hello, Washington.

GABBY: Maybe you guys need to get together.

GUEST: I think so. I think we need to connect.

GABBY: I think you guys should connect and make a date to get some coffee. I really like that idea. That’s excellent.

GUEST: I agree.

GABBY: OK, great.

GUEST: I agree. But so for me, some of my truth, um, came out that, that you know, I know I’m meant to help other people and write my book and, you know, really embrace my, my empowerment coaching through my yoga and things that I’m doing. But I left my corporate job. I had a conversation truthfully with my husband about this and how the corporate world was killing my soul. It made me sick. It was very toxic. And I knew that it wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

And I manifested and asked for signs, got so many signs it was comical that I needed to do this. And with direction from, you know, a lot of your suggestions and your books and my therapist and my sponsor, we all agreed that this was the right thing to do.

And in speaking my truth, my husband spoke his and it hurt. And so for me, without getting emotional, for me, some of the things that he spoke, because I allowed him to share his truth and hear his story and his, uh, his journey, his path, right? I was in my lane and I kind of like, let him talk. It hurt me because his truth were my fears and my doubts.

So it’s really hard to not wanna defend myself and come off like I’m worthy, I can do this, I can be this. And him saying how everybody else is doing this too. And he even said, you think you’re gonna be like Gabby? And I was like, no, I’m gonna be me.

GUEST: You’re gonna be you Tanya. And let me speak to this because first of all, you’re so authentically you right here right now.

So bottle this moment when you’re teaching, when you’re writing, when you’re coaching, this is what makes you, you. And it’s extraordinary and it’s beautiful. What happens when we make big life changes and we are not fully, totally grounded in them. Cause often that’s the case, you know, often we’d leap and that’s cool.

Yeah. Right. That’s great. That’s amazing. We may not always be fully, fully grounded in the belief that this is the move, even though 90% or 80% or 60% is like go and we gotta go. But we still have those remnants of insecurities. What will happen nine times outta 10 or 10 times outta 10 is the people that are closest to us will mirror back those insecurities.

And so really right now, your husband, I believe is not in any way trying to harm you or hurt you or make you feel bad. But I think that he may have been reflecting back your own sense of insecurity. So as a coach, as a writer, as a leader, you are your first client. So this is really very beautiful for you.

What a beautiful moment and opportunity for you to look and witness and say, oh wow. His truth really hurts. So there must be some resonance there. Now you can return to him with truth and say, hey man, I am working to relieve myself of these insecurities. And it would be really helpful if you could be on that journey with me.

GUEST: Yeah.

GABBY: Work with me to, to get to the place where I believe I can be doing what Gabby does the same way she does or the way that I wanna do it. That is a beautiful truthful way to say, hey, you know, I resonated with that and it would be great to have a partner in my expansion.

GUEST: Right, right.

GABBY: So that’s really powerful for him. And then for you really, just say thank you to his truth because it’s revealing to you this one more acknowledgement of what needs to be healed so that you can move forward with your highest and best. That’s the work, whether you are a coach or whether you are a chef, it doesn’t matter. The biggest work in our life is to release the beliefs that hold us back from stepping into the truth of who we really are here to be.

So your husband is just a reflection of your own internal condition. You can invite yourself and him on the journey of holding your hand as you move through any lingering insecurities that could be holding you back that are so common. Just if you didn’t, if you didn’t have them, it’d be, you’d be enlightened.

But then yeah. The other thing that I wanna say to you as a teacher of yours, and as now a, a contemporary of yours is to say that there are far more people in need than there are people doing the work to serve those who are in need.

GUEST: Thank you. Yeah.

GABBY: So any comparison or any feelings, if they are so many people are already doing it. Not enough people are doing this work. Not enough, not enough.

GUEST: Yeah. That’s what I, I told him as well. I was like, there’s not enough of us out there that are willing to brave the road of the unknown and be vulnerable and help others and go through what we go through to get to this point. And he just like, he’s like, I hope you’re right. I hope you prove me wrong. And I’m like, well…

GABBY: Here’s another, here’s another truth hack. Right? Another truth hack in the moment, particularly with romantic partners and stuff, is to notice right then and there- oh, wow, that’s super triggering. Whoa. You know, and just check in with that, notice it, and just extend that compassion towards yourself, that calmness towards yourself.

Maybe even put your hand on your heart. And tell the truth back because it it’s actually the opposite of defensiveness, the truth back. Wow. That really does kind of resonate and it’s making me uncomfortable and, you know, I really wanna, I’m really doing my best to show up for this desire and this mission and release any of the insecurities that I know are still there.

And I see that you’re reflecting them back to me. And I think that while you may be saying these things and while I may have lingering beliefs about them, I, I do believe in miracles and I believe I can defy these limitations and it would be really beneficial for me if you would hold that with me and just be in that truth with me, that, that this is possible. Hold the possibility with me.

Not about you’re making me feel bad. You are doing this. It’s just, wow, that kind of uncomfortably resonates with me and it would just be super powerful if, if we could work together, if we could hold hands in this journey and, and, you know, feel that support and talk about the stuff that you may be concerned about, maybe you’re concerned about finances, and let’s be honest about that. Let’s get truthful about that. Let’s come up with a plan together. This isn’t about just brushing shit under the rug.

GUEST: Right.

GABBY: So in those moments, when your partner is at you, instead of going at them, get back into self energy. So hold your heart, say nice things to yourself. Take a breath, ground yourself as much as you can. This is a practice that’s, you know, lifelong forever. And then you can really say anything. You can say anything.

GUEST: Thank you.

GABBY: Tanya, what a teachable moment. This moment is a story you can tell in your next book.

GUEST: Oh, I’m good.

GABBY: Yeah. Yeah. I also just wanna say, I really believe in you. I really, really believe in you.

GUEST: Thank you, Gabby. That means more than you know.

GABBY: Hmm. I’d like to give you something. I have a course called the Spirit Junkie Masterclass. It’s kind of hidden, it’s out there, it’s sort of out there. I don’t know if people can find it. We could put a link in the show notes. I wanna give it to you.

And inside it is also a whole training on confidence, but it’s of course, for people that wanna step out and do this kind of spiritual work as a coach or as a, even as a lawyer, you know, however you wanna bring your spiritual practice out into the world, into your business.

GUEST: Thank you so much.

GABBY: You are so welcome. I know that course is gonna change it all for you, cause you’re gonna be devoted to it. Now go have coffee with our friend from Seattle.

GUEST: Going to.

GABBY: Great work, babe. Great work.


GABBY: Hi, how are you?

GUEST: Oh my God Gabby. I have been working out of the house and haven’t been able to see your shows and I, so I woke up this morning and said, please let her pick me. I had been like struggling and I have to tell you, I had given The Universe Has Your Back to like nine people. That book changed my life.

It made me get out of a bad marriage. It made me tart to believe in myself. And what’s happened recently is just that I was working from home at the time. I bought a house last year.

GABBY: Congratulations.

GUEST: Um, thank you. I’m planning the kind of garden I always wanted to have. And I just started feeling very overwhelmed and I started like getting away from the things that I was doing every day that put me in a good place, like writing in my journal.

I am stressed and anxious. And I, I got going to the doctor this week and I’m like, pre-diabetic, which runs through my family and it’s I go, but I’m not like I could lose 30 pounds, but it’s not like, you know what I think of like, why is this happening to me? I was kind of blaming outside factors and I’m like, you need to reprioritize so you need to get back to your journal. You need to get back to Happy Days, which I started reading, I went back and I started reading my highlighted sections and The Universe Has Your Back. It’s just been, um, but it’s hard to have things going on and know that I, I can make choices, but then I, I don’t know why I don’t do it.

GABBY: Okay. Beautiful. First of all, I just wanna acknowledge that you’re coming here today to speak truth, to say, hey, Gabby, I’ve been slacking on my spiritual practice. It’s time to show up more. I wanna give myself some grace. Bravo, Bravo.

There’s a really nice practice that comes up with kids, with my child. And when he’s tantruming, when he’s in that place of, of just completely flipping out, flipping his lid, wanting something he can’t have. I will say to him, this Dr. Becky thing, we have a whole episode with her we can go listen to. I say, I know two things. One, I love you. And two, I can’t give that to you right now, or I will be giving that to you later. Or, you know, we don’t do that in this house or something like that.

And so I want you to get into the practice of saying two things to yourself. One, putting your hand on your heart and saying, I love you to yourself. I love you. And two, I noticed that I wanna journal more. Or one, I love you and two, I am nervous about this pre-diabetic diagnosis.

One I love you. And I’m feeling stressed out. Because what that will do, one and two, I love you, and then the truth, I love you. And then the truth gets you in the practice of lovingly facing your truth and with all of the beautiful spiritual practice you have behind you, Universe Has Your Back, reading Happy Days, everything, you know, where to turn sister, you know what to do.

You know how to get to safety. You found a guide in me and I’m sure in many others, you have such gorgeous resources at your fingertips. The only thing that we have to do is just get into compassionate self-reflection. That compassionate self-reflection of, I love you.

GUEST: I have to tell you like you are my spiritual rockstar and you know, people will say things to me at work and I’ll, I’ll say something back and they’re like, wow, that’s really profound.

And I said, oh, that’s a Gabbyism. I can’t take credit for that. But I mean, it’s like you plant those little seeds and like, I, I sometimes I just have to take a step back and, and be grateful and, and feel like, okay, if I can’t keep up with everything, if the house isn’t clean by the end of the day, why is that a disaster? Why am I being hard on myself?

GABBY: So what you would do in that moment is you would say, number one, I know, I, I love you. To yourself. And number two, I’m not gonna finish cleaning the house today. I know that’s true. I’m not gonna get to finishing the house today. Lovingly acknowledging the truth. I love you and I’m gonna finish cleaning tomorrow.

I love you. And I’m gonna do the best I can at work, whatever the issue may be,.Because the stress that you’re feeling, the stress that’s causing, probably some even physical stuff, right?

GUEST: That is, yeah.

GABBY: That stress is really the resistance to the truth. If we just accept the truth.

GUEST: Hmm.

GABBY: That’s where I’m at right now. That’s coming up for me. In that acceptance of our truth, our entire nervous system can settle and then solutions can be revealed.

Excellent. Excellent question my sister, thank you for being with me today.

GUEST: I have to tell you, I love you that God created you because you have been so wonderful to so many people. You’ve helped so many people.

GABBY: You’re making cry. Thank you.

GUEST: You’re welcome.

GABBY: My truth in this moment right now is gonna take that in. I’m not very good at taking that in. I think I move very quickly through these kinds of compliments and I’m hearing that one and receiving that. Thank you very deeply. Thank you.

GUEST: You’re welcome.

GABBY: It’s a privilege to be your teacher. Thank you.

GUEST: Oh, thank you. It’s a privilege to be your student.

GABBY: Keep teaching the teachings my love.

GUEST: I will. Thank you.

GABBY: Thank you.

What a beautiful episode, what a beautiful episode. In those moments, when you know that the truth needs to come through you, whether it be towards yourself or towards someone else, tap into that clarity and that compassion towards yourself. The courage to speak up. The confidence, to create the boundary The curiosity towards the other creative ideas, calm energy, and the desire to create connection. With those eight C qualities of self, you can say anything to yourself or to others, and it will be received with love.

Thanks for joining the show today.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe. So you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience of this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review. And you can follow me on social media @Gabby Bernstein. And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby-ed live@deargabby.com.

Yeah. See you next week, Gabby.

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