The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I’m not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I’ve been out in the world launching this new book, Happy Days – The guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace. My mind is blown. My mind is blown about how transformational this work has already been for so many of you. I knew it was going to happen. I knew that the book was going to serve you, but I didn’t know that it was going to be this necessary at this time.

I truly didn’t. The journey that I underwent to get to where I am today is a journey that we all deserve. We all deserve the guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace. And you don’t have to take my word for it. Here’s some of the headlines of the reviews on Amazon.

Must-read for trauma-informed path to healing.

Stunning. I’ve already had so many aha moments that are incredibly profound and I’m only on chapter two.

Gabby’s stories are raw and so beautifully told Gabby is holding your hand while you do the work. You never feel alone.

That one Fran on Amazon, makes me feel just so, so, so on mission and so connected because that was my intention for you not to feel alone for you not to feel disconnected in this journey of recovery.

Let me read another.

Life-changing book. Marlon says on Amazon, I haven’t finished the book yet. However, the five chapters I’ve already read have absolutely opened my heart and mind. I feel that Gabby genuinely cares. I feel her energy through her writing.

And here’s the last one.

Life-changing. This book is for everyone. Gabby’s teachings are the real thing. This is a life-transforming book.

I love you guys. I just want to say thank you for sharing your experience of the book. And I hope that if anyone is struggling right now that they know that there is great support in the pages of Happy Days; you can listen to it on Audible. You can read it in the hardcover book or the ebook.

And my prayer is that this book guides you one step of the way to know that you’re not alone, to know that I am by your side. And that there is a guided path from whatever suffering you have experienced in your life to profound freedom and inner peace. Happy days!

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back, everybody. Welcome back to the show. Today, we did something a little different. We did something kind of awesome. A while back, I asked for folks to leave their review about this show and then to share a question that they may want me to Dear Gabby. And so what I’m going to do today is a little different than usual.

I’m going to Dear Gabby this question that came in from F. Janelle B. on the reviews section of Apple. And she sent in this question for me to answer live. The question then will also become the theme for our conversation as I bring Dear Gabby folks into the podcast live and workshop them. Let’s start with F Janelle B. and her question today, which is about spiritual guidance.

And I know this is a topic that so many of you really want more of, that you long for it. And that, that clarity of how to connect can be extremely heartwarming, no matter where you are on your spiritual path. So here we are.

F Janelle B asks, Dear Gabby, when asking for guidance, how can I tell if the guidance I receive is truly from spirit? Or is just my ego getting in the way I have a very active mind and sometimes worry that my ego is trying to sneak through fear-based guidance disguised as intuition. This happens often during meditation.

Excellent question. I get this question in more ways than one. For decades, I’ve been on stages talking about spiritual principles and I’ve always received the question of Gabby, how do I know it’s my inner guidance rather than my ego or in this case: How do I know that it’s my spirit guides rather than my own ego, my own fear voice?

Let’s get into this. When it’s the voice of spirit, you feel grounded, you feel inspired. You might even sense like a buzziness or a speediness. There’s an enthusiasm behind that inner guidance. There’s only love. Even if it’s a direction or a suggestion to go in a direction that may be like a warning sign. It’s still wrapped with love and safety and security. There’s no agenda. There’s no drama. There’s no forceful nature. There’s a sense of ease.

Sometimes it might not even sound like your voice. It could sound almost like the voice of an ethereal being. Sometimes I hear when spirit speaks to me, that’s like dear daughter of the light. Literally. That’s what I could hear. Dear daughter of the light, or we are here. We are. We are speaking on behalf of a collective or a presence.

And sometimes it’s just the voice of my own higher self. The curious, compassionate, courageous part of me that’s coming through directed by the presence of love, the presence of spirit, the presence of God. And so, we know that it’s the voice of spiritual presence or a spirit guide or your inner guidance system when it is grounded, calm, inspired, loving, peaceful. No agenda. Only love.

It’s a sure sign that it’s the voice of your ego when you have an agenda. When there’s an agenda, when there’s a timeline, when there’s urgency, an urgency that seems controlling. When there’s any form of attack thought, when there’s a doubt, when your body doesn’t feel connected to it, when it feels, uh, almost like there’s a sense of fear behind it, uh, you could even hear the voice of your ego.

It could be a good message, but it doesn’t sound, it doesn’t feel aligned or resonant in your body. It’s maybe potentially feeling forced like it’s coming at you rather than through you. That’s a really good distinction. You know, it’s the voice of spirit when it’s coming through you and it’s the voice of ego when it’s coming at you.

Wow. That was the voice of spirit coming through me to express that truth. For me, you can see me in this show, you know, when I’m in my logical mind of like, okay, let’s bring on the next guest or whatever. And then, you know, when I start talking fast and I start feeling inspired, and if you’re ever watching a video, you can see my hands go numb.

And there’s just this source of energy coming through. And that’s when we’re channelling spirit guides and our own presence of spiritual wisdom within. So there’s a freedom in knowing that it’s your inner guidance system and spirit, and there’s a control when it’s the voice of your ego.

So to recap that message for F. Janelle B on our Apple reviews and for everybody that’s listening now, you know, it’s the voice of spirit when it’s coming through you. And, you know, it’s the voice of your ego when it’s coming at you. The most beautiful, simple, distinction.

And how do we connect to that voice of spirit? Keep listening to Dear Gabby. Go back to our podcast episode on spirit guides or any of the manifesting episodes on Dear Gabby. Just search Dear Gabby manifesting, it is all right there for you.

And all of the practices that are related to Super Attractor or manifesting or The Universe Has Your Back, are all designed to help you get into alignment with that presence of your own inner guidance system so that you can hear a fluid connection to the voice of your spiritual guides. That is all laid out for you here on this show.

So go back and listen if you want to go deeper into clearing the space for that connection.

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So on this topic of spirit guides and connecting to our inner wisdom, I want to go deeper with you. I’m so excited to connect to people. I haven’t seen you guys in a while and let’s bring in our first guest.

GABBY: Hi Samantha.

CALLER: Oh my goodness! I’m so excited to be here. Thank you so much.

GABBY: Welcome to Dear Gabby. Are you psyched about this topic?

CALLER: I am so psyched and it, everyone always says this, but it feels like divine timing. So just so grateful.

GABBY: Well, it always is divine timing. It’s never an accident it’s meant to be. Yeah.

CALLER: So I guess I’ll just dive into my question. I have been working with my vulnerability and with my heart being kind of closed in general, um, and kind of working to open that heart and let love in especially love and vulnerability and intimacy from my partner.

And then my friends around me and kind of resistant to receiving. Not giving us, but more receiving love. Um, and I feel like I made a lot of progress in that, but I just recently am kind of dealing with some trauma that I’m uncovering. And I, I have gotten Happy Days and I love it so much. And I’ve done a couple of those practices, but it feels like that’s setting me back from being vulnerable and open to love because it’s like my nervous system is all over the place and I’m processing so much.

So, yeah. I’m just wondering if you have any advice for this kind of situation.

GABBY: It’s a slow, steady path. And the best honest, best advice I would’ve given you is what you’re already doing, which is doing Happy Days, but, but big, but with a big B. You have to realize that when you start to look more closely at the blocks to your vulnerability, you’ll have parts of you that are going to come up really loud.

And really fear-based similar to that voice of ego. As we were talking about in the beginning being like, no way too scary, don’t go there. But that is the first step going there with Happy Days, following the methods and the path that I have laid out before you and taking it slow and steady, leaving behind anything that’s too overwhelming for you in the moment. Coming back to it in five months, five years, I don’t care. But going slow and steady because you can’t. When it comes to wanting to be vulnerable, particularly in romantic relationships, it is an undoing of historical trauma. That must occur in order to feel safe enough in your own body and internal system, to let someone in with true vulnerability.

So there isn’t a fast hit of fix. There isn’t a fast fix, but there is a path from the trauma to profound freedom and inner peace and vulnerability, which is called Happy Days. And so I’m so fucking excited that you have that book and that you’re doing it, and it is triggering you and the triggers, as long as they’re not so extreme and taking you out, are a good sign because it means that it’s touchy that you’re not so dissociated and that you’re able to touch into the reality of what’s coming through.

Right. So those feelings while they’re very overwhelming and can be very flooding to your system, are also extraordinary signs that you are, have done so much work to get to this point where you’re safe enough to even touch into those feelings. Got me? Yeah. Take that in. And that I see that your whole energy shifted when you said that.

Yeah. So your shift in your energy that I just witnessed is such a sign to me that you are ready to go here. But slowly and safely, and you came on, you’re like, I want to know how to be vulnerable. This is the path. This is the path. Because if you try to be vulnerable, particularly in an intimate relationship and you force it or you try it or whatever, before you’ve done the work to get to a place of inner safety, then you’re going to, re-traumatize yourself.

So right now, what is vulnerable in your relationship? Vulnerable is, Hey man, or woman? I don’t know. Are you in a partnership with a man?

CALLER: Yes.

GABBY: I’m just always wanting to make sure I’m honoring whoever people are wherever they are. Hey man. You know, I’m having a lot of resistance to vulnerability. I’m wanting to acknowledge that that’s there.

And that it’s affecting us. And I want to let you know that I’m doing some really deep inner work, and it’s beginning with this book Happy Days, and I’d be comfortable right now. Maybe sharing some of my journey with you. That is a fucking vulnerable thing to say to someone and letting him in on your process is very important.

Because one, it is a step towards genuine vulnerability and authenticity. And two, he’s not in the dark, you know, like where is she? What’s she doing? He’s he’s with you? And you know, some of us do this work and it changes the relationship. And some of us do this work and it dramatically heals the relationship and elevates the relationship.

And that was the case for me. So I can give you that promise if you make that commitment.

CALLER: Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much. It really did shift so much, when you said just the fact that you’re feeling these triggers means like you’re ready and that you’re capable of feeling this triggers and that it’s possible to heal. I feel like I’ve always thought like, oh, well I guess I’m this way forever, right?

No, no, no, baby. That’s why I wrote this book because your ability to feel into that truth is the healing journey. Your ability to open that book is a huge step forward in your recovery. You are not the victim of your trauma. It does not have to have a hold on you forever. It does not. Follow the guided path in Happy Days.

Go slow and let the voice of your inner guidance system lead you. ‘Cause that voice of your inner guidance system, that spiritual presence is going to say, you know what, Samantha, let’s give chapter three right now and let’s come back to that in a year. And it gonna be very loving and very clear and very connected.

And that’s different than the voice that’s like, no way I can’t even go here. Right. So knowing the difference between those two voices based on the theme of today’s show and letting that voice of spiritual guidance, which is going to be the loving very all-knowing voice, come through. And just take you slowly by the hand and gently guide you through this journey and to definitely skip things that feel like too much, and to definitely reach out to the therapists that I recommend in the book and the types of therapy, if you feel called and to definitely do whatever practices feel grounding and don’t do the ones that don’t right now, but the answers for you, Samantha, I can say with every inch of my being lie in the pages of that book. Don’t look any further.

God bless. You’re welcome. I’m sure that’s not the answer you wanted to hear. Everybody’s like, well, I wouldn’t know how to do it right now, but, but it’s right there and that’s why I wrote it. It’s all right there. Your guides brought you to the book and your guides brought you on here today for me to say, go do it.

CALLER: Thank you. And thank you just so much for your work in general. I absolutely adore you, but thank you so much.

GABBY: I want to leave you with one more thing, and this is for you and for all of our listeners who are on all recovering from their own form of trauma in any form—big T or small t. I want to deeply acknowledge your courage to open a book like that, to listen to a show like this requires courage, courage to go to the places that scare you so you can come out the other side. And I’m really proud of you. Nice job. All right. That was beautiful. Samantha.

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GABBY: Sammy, Sam. Who’s next? Hi, how are you love?

CALLER: Oh my goodness. This is so unexpected, but not. Wow. I got in the shower and I have to still do my makeup, but I was rushing so I could come sit down. It’s an honor to talk to you.

GABBY: How can I help you today? As it relates to listening to that inner guidance or anything else that’s coming through.

CALLER: Inner guidance, intuition, but kind of as that relates to, I think I’ve had a lot of recognition of past trauma lately and understanding what that means and still kind of working through what I want to do with it. So in short, my mom specifically, but my parents had just really, haven’t had a relationship with them for almost two and a half years and going through a lot of therapy with that.

My mother suffers from like borderline personality, narcissistic personality. So I’m just kind of trying to figure out that place in that boundary. But without that, like, I feel like part of my soul is missing. If that makes sense. Like, I feel like I’ve just changed as a person. My social anxiety is just triggered like crazy.

Um, I used to be so much of a people person and, you know, embrace being around people now I just kind of would prefer to be on my own. And so I think that happening has really forced me to not listen to my intuition and not listen to that inner guidance. And I’m kind of trying to repair or try to figure out what that relationship looks like while repairing myself and my soul.

But then I don’t know. I think I’m trying to do too much and I don’t know if I’m just not listening.

GABBY: Can you clarify one thing for me? So did something happen specifically to create more of a break with your mom at the moment?

CALLER: Yeah.Yeah.

GABBY: Okay. Okay. So of course you’re super triggered. Of course, your traditional coping mechanisms are no longer working.

Of course you’re super activated because mom, the attachment figure in your life who was never safe for you because she has, God bless her, mental illness. Has recently done something that has super-activated you. So let’s give yourself some grace here, sister. Okay?

CALLER: And I recently took your attachment style quiz. I’m definitely anxious.

GABBY: So you’re definitely an anxiously attached person. And the quiz that she’s referring to helps you understand that you have your own unique attachment style. We’ll put the link in the show notes for anyone listening and seeing that and understanding that is the first step to giving yourself grace and really looking at yourself right now.

And let me know if this feels possible for you, but to look at the part of you, that’s so triggered in this moment, right? The anxious part. And how do you feel towards that part of you?

CALLER: Just like it doesn’t belong there.

GABBY: Oh, okay. So you’re, you’re, you’re kind of judging it. Okay. Yeah, well, then I want to give my, I want to give you a little Gabby perspective of that part.

Okay. Anxious part of Jennifer. I honor you, and I understand you and I have extraordinary compassion for what you’re going through right now. And I want to just give you a huge hug and just let you know that this is totally normal and totally to be expected given your attachment style with your mom and you’re triggered right now.

And I want to just, just, just let you know that it’s, I’d love to know more about you and I just want you to know that I have compassion for you and I just want, does, does that part of you feel that; does that anxious part feels seen?

CALLER: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

GABBY: So I want you to take your journal out. And I want you to write a letter to that anxious part of yourself.

And maybe the letter starts with a lot of bullshit. Like, why are you here? You know, I don’t like you, blah, blah, blah. But then as you write, see what else begins to come through. Don’t edit anything, right? Like there could be some funky stuff that comes up in the beginning, but we want to let that out and clear that, so that the voice of love, spirit guides, inner guidance. So we can clear space, clear the ego story to let that voice of self, right? The energy of your inner guidance system to come through and care for that part of you.

CALLER: That makes sense. Okay. Yes.

GABBY: Write the letter, write the letter. Start wherever you need to start and write until love comes through.

CALLER: I love it. Okay.

GABBY: Ooh, that’s a good lesson. I can’t wait to put that in my next book. Write until love comes through. Write until love comes through; what a good lesson. I like that.

CALLER: Thank you. That is that’s powerful.

GABBY: Go slow, baby. You’re having a trigger. You grew up with a borderline mom. That’s really hard. God bless you.

CALLER: Thank you.

GABBY: God bless her. You know, it’s not an easy world.

CALLER: No, no. I hope she can get the help she needs, but wish her well.

GABBY: But you gotta do your thing, girl.

CALLER: All you can do.

GABBY: Pray for her and you can keep your side of the street, keep moving forward.

CALLER: Yup. Right. That’s right. Absolutely. Absolutely. That makes sense. So we’ll do a little bit more listening than, than doing.

GABBY: Write until love comes through.

CALLER: Yeah. I love that. Thank you so much, Gabby.

GABBY: You’re welcome, gorgeous. Thank you.

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GABBY: What’s up girl, how you doing?

CALLER: Oh my God. Hi. Um, thank you so much for bringing me in. I did not expect this today, but I’ve been wanting to ask this question since, uh, the manifestation challenge that I did, um, back in January and I signed up and I thought initially, like, I’m gonna make it about career, career, career, but then when I started.

And I was doing the meditations. It just felt like what I really wanted was relationship. Like, that’s just what was coming through. So I was like, okay, I have to honor that like intuition that that’s what I really want. So I started, I kind of started over and I did it for like deep respect, meaningful relationship.

And I remember the day that it was like a meditation about how do you want to feel when you get this thing? And the feeling before the getting and I had been interested in a relationship with a particular person who lived in my building. And once I started feeling those feelings, I started seeing him all the time and I was like, wow, this thing worked really fast.

And long story short, that relationship ended up going like really badly. So I was getting really worried that like, I’m not able to manifest because talk about feelings of unworthiness. I felt like I had done the challenge wrong, which I know…

GABBY: I’m going to stop you right here right now, my love. Stop it in your tracks. Here’s the deal. You put out a vibration that you were ready to receive love, right? And that you were ready to get into a relationship. And that vibration is super freaking hot. Okay. And it’s magnetic and it’s, and it’s vulnerable and it’s like open. And so, you know what? You’re going to be a magnet for a lot of guys when you’re in that vibration.

Okay? The guy that just happened to be the closest to you in proximity was this guy that signed up to be, you know, not the highest and best. What I want to really emphasize here is that the manifesting part was completely accurate. There’s a step that you may want to clarify next time. And that is actually the step of clarity being crystal clear about what it is that you want to attract.

Because you have no trouble getting into alignment with your super attractor power to attract into your life. All you have to do is just define what you’re trying to call in. I want to call in love with someone who is, you know, really stable and does a lot of personal growth work and you know, is financially secure.

And what I want you to do is I want you to write a list of what are your non-negotiables, what is super non-negotiable for you? And so non-negotiable is that he’s doing inner work and he’s mentally well, right? Non-negotiable is that, you know, he has, you know, just giving examples, like he’s, he’s financially secure he’s um, creative and non-negotiable and then there’s then there’s the second part of the list, which is like, what would be nice.

Okay? And nice is like he’s six foot tall and that’s not a non-negotiable, but it’s nice. Right. But what’s most important is the non-negotiables. Because if you do that work that you did so well of cultivating the feeling you are going to be a magnet for a lot of stuff. And so you don’t want to be a magnet.

You want, you know, you don’t want to be like the moth to the flames, right. Because you’re just, flame is so light and so bright that all the moths start coming. You want to be super clear about what it is that you want to be a magnet for.

CALLER: So can I just ask how you, um, cause obviously it takes time to get to know people in general. Um, I think you kind of touched on this before, but how, you know, when it’s coming from spirit versus when it’s just, like you said, the closest person to you. Cause I, I really would like to moving forward. I mean, one thing that I did was write down all the things that I did get from this experience that were positive, which is like a stronger desire to protect myself and move slow and all this stuff.

So is there a way to kind of like connect to yourself more to know before?

GABBY: Okay. So here’s the deal. That is exactly right. The more you strengthen your relationship and awareness of the voice of spirit, the more safe you can feel as you start to open up energetically to others. And in any situation because you can trust your intuition more.

You can be more patient. You can go more slowly. You can listen rather than react. You can allow the voice of love to lead you. And that spiritual voice and that spiritual presence of guidance is always within us and around us. And honestly, even when we get into shitty relationships that are scary or whatever, they are opportunities for learning and growth, and you’ve already chosen to see it that way.

So let’s say thank you to that experience for getting you closer to cleaning up your energy so that you can attract what you want, and to also strengthen your relationship to your spirit guides, to your own inner wisdom so that you can listen more and do less. The more you strengthen that relationship through your meditation, through your journaling, through revisiting practices that you love from the meditation challenge, through listening to this podcast, through going back to the manifesting episodes of Dear Gabby and doing the work and through reading a book like Super Attractor, I’m going to send you a copy of Super Attractor.

Okay. Just to give it to my team is going to send that to you and start cultivating these practices. The more you will be able to hear that voice of your intuition, and then the next time you get into a relationship, you can be fearless because you can be like, listen, I got my spirit guides right here, right behind me, backing me up, protecting me and telling me to walk away or telling me to walk forward.

And I don’t have to fear that. Now, reality is, you know, all relationships are assignments and the relationships that we are going to be guided. So you are going to bring up stuff for us no matter what, but the next one won’t be a feeling like this one, right? Because you’ve already got this spiritual guidance, that’s come forth for you. Okay, sweetheart?

CALLER: Thank you so much. It means a lot. I just wanted, I loved the challenge, but then I hated the feeling that I did it incorrectly. So I’m really glad to get clarity on that.

GABBY: Mm hm. And you know, that challenge is a first step and that’s why we say the next step is to join the Miracle Membership and be part of the weekly coaching or read the book or read Super Attractor or whatever.

Right? Because you start with a challenge. You start with listening to one of these podcasts, but the consistent daily practice and the ritual and the getting into the guidance. And you know, I’m assuming I’m your teacher here. You’ve done the challenge, you’re back here talking to me. So use me right? Use one of the nine books; use Happy Days to undo the patterns that have held you back in these relationships.

Use Super Attractor to manifest with more clarity and use The Universe Has Your Back to transform your fear and to really listen to the voice of that inner guidance system.

CALLER: Yeah.

GABBY: And so you want to, if you guys want to hear the voice of your inner guidance system and trust that voice and spirit read The Universe Has Your Back.

There’s a whole episode on that and Happy Days, if you want to get an intro to it and read that book. Okay, baby.

CALLER: Thank you so much.

GABBY: Beautiful. Thank you. All right. What a good one. What a good one. What a beautiful group of people that came through today to really recognize and identify that when we take any action, whether it be facing into our vulnerability or showing up for our personal lives, our professional lives with that presence of spiritual connection coming through us, then anything is possible.

So understanding the difference between the voice of your ego, the voice of fear. And the voice of your inner guidance system, the voice of love will be one of your greatest virtues because having that greater awareness and understanding will allow you to very effortlessly notice when you have to get back into spiritual alignment.

Notice when it’s time to open up a book like Happy Days and do some deeper work. Notice when it’s time to close, happy days because it’s feeling like too much. And when we allow ourselves to be led from that voice of spirit, rather than the voice of fear, everything begins to unfold naturally around us; our relationships miraculously transform. Our careers begin to expand beyond what we thought was possible.

And we also can notice that boundaries begin to dissolve. And so this show, while we’ve touched into a lot of different topics like trauma and action and vulnerability, the main core through-line that came through all of this, is that anything that we do that we face into that we show up for in our life when done with spirit, by our side, when done with the voice of love, as our leader can be miraculous.

It doesn’t have to be something we’re afraid of. It can be something that we fearlessly and courageously face into because we’re not alone. We have a presence of love within us and around us guiding us, protecting us and showing us with clear direction, exactly where to go, what to do and what to say.

And we can trust it every step of the way. Thanks for joining me today. I’m excited for all of you to crack open to that presence of spiritual connection within. See you next week on Dear Gabby.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe. So you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me.

So I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media @GabbyBernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live at deargabby.com. See you next week.