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Have you ever found yourself saying yes to something you didn’t want to do, only to feel resentful later? Or left a conversation feeling completely exhausted, like someone just siphoned the life right out of you?

What if I told you those two experiences are not separate issues? They’re symptoms of the same core problem: a leak in your energetic field. That feeling of being drained and that compulsion to people-please both stem from a lack of spiritual boundaries. This is the single biggest, most overlooked block to your peace and your manifesting power.

The solution isn’t to be less nice or to cut everyone out of your life. The solution is to become so rooted in your own energetic power that nothing—and no one—outside of yourself can throw you off center. It’s about becoming a fortress of light. In this episode, I’m giving you my complete spiritual toolkit to do just that.

Part 1:

Part 2:

You’ll learn:

  • The 5 clear signs that your energy is under attack from an “energy vampire.”
  • My most powerful techniques for shielding yourself, including the Golden Light Shield visualization and the in-the-moment Energetic Lock.
  • How to cut the energetic cords of obligation and stop draining your precious life-force energy.
  • The secret to releasing the deep patterns of people-pleasing that made you vulnerable in the first place.
  • How to reframe boundaries not as a harsh “no,” but as a loving act of protecting your peace.
  • The ultimate key to freedom: how to generate feelings of worthiness and love from within so you no longer have to seek them from others.

This is your masterclass in energetic protection. If you’re ready to stop leaking your power and start living in a state of energetic freedom, this episode is for you.

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disclaimer

This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I am not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from any psychological or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified health professional.

dear gabby #279 Sep 01, 2025 spiritual connection

the ultimate guide to energetic protection: from people-pleasing to energy vampires

[00:00:00] The following podcast is a dear media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein, and if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started.

Have you ever found yourself saying yes to something you didn't want to do, and then later that day you had this conversation that you left and you're feeling completely exhausted? You know those conversations, you know what I'm talking about. And so what if I told you those two experiences are not separate issues, they're two symptoms of the same core problem, a leak in your energetic field.

That feeling of being drained by other people or that feeling of feeling exhausted in someone's presence and that compulsion to people, please, it all stems from a [00:01:00] lack of spiritual boundaries, and this is the single biggest, most overlooked block to your manifestations. It's your peace and your energetic presence.

And so the goal of this episode is to give you my complete spiritual toolkit for energetic protection. We're going to cover everything from how to handle energy vampires, to how to release the patterns of people pleasing so that you can stop leaking your power and start living in a state of energetic freedom.

So for a long time, guys, we've been conditioned to believe these two things. First, that being a good person means being endlessly accommodating, right? Saying yes to everybody. Just being a yes sir. Being a people pleaser, we've often been programmed to really think that it's a virtue to always put others first, to say yes to every.

To manage everyone else's emotions to avoid conflict at all costs. I think you know who you are when you're listening, but then on the other hand, when it comes to those negative people in our lives, we've also been taught to just tolerate them. We're told to just be positive or just [00:02:00] simply avoid them as if they're the problem or that they're the external issue in our life, that we have to run from them or hide from them.

And we see these as two separate struggles. Our internal need that we have to. Be nice and the external problem of these draining people, but here is the spiritual truth that will set you free. These are not two separate issues. They're the same issue viewed through two different lenses. Both people pleasing and being drained by energy vampires are the direct result of a lack of loving firm energetic boundaries, and the solution isn't to be less nice or to cut everyone out of your life.

The solution is to become so rooted in your own energetic power that nothing, nothing, nothing, and no one outside of yourself can throw you off center.

And it's about becoming a fortress of light like I like to say. So in this episode, I'm going to give you my complete six step spiritual toolkit to do just that. You're going to learn how to recognize when your energy is under attack, and you're gonna learn my most powerful technique for shielding [00:03:00] yourself and the deeper secrets to releasing the patterns that made you vulnerable in the first place.

And by the end of this episode, you will have a masterclass in energetic protection. I also wanted to let my Gabby coaching members know that the EFT tapping meditation on setting boundaries is a brilliant way to go deeper after listening to this episode. And there's a lot of really fantastic resources in the Gabby coaching app on energetic protection and setting boundaries.

So actually, you know, let me read you a recent testimonial from one of my members, Anita Hobbs, and she said. Listen, if you're debating at all about paying for this app, don't. There is no debate. It's amazing if you can join at the same time as a friend. Even better. My friend and I are going through each program together and the energy we receive is massively enhanced.

We message each other every morning after we listen to the day's lesson and complete a meditation just so that we can share our appreciation and love. And I promise you, you will not regret getting this app. I love that. Thank you, Anita. So if you're not a member yet, you can try [00:04:00] the app for free for seven [email protected]/app.

You can also find the link in the show notes. All right, let's dive in now to the six step spiritual toolkit.
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Today we're talking about a common trait that's likely blocking your manifestations and draining your most precious resource, your energy. You might think you're just being nice or helpful, but what if the very act of people pleasing is creating an energetic leak? Pushing away the abundance and joy that you're trying to manifest.

I'm gonna reveal my proven spiritual strategy to identify and release people pleasing patterns so you can reclaim your energetic presence, attract what you desire, and manifest from [00:08:00] a place of authentic alignment, not from exhaustion or low vibration. For years, many of us have been conditioned to believe that being the good girl or the good guy means always putting others first.

Saying yes to everything and avoiding conflicts at all costs. It's often seen as a virtue, a sign of compassion. And honestly, for a long time I believed it too. It really took me down. We think that if we just accommodate everyone, if we manage everybody else's emotions, we're gonna be loved, we're gonna be accepted, we're gonna feel safe.

But here's the uncomfortable truth that I've discovered. That approach often leads to deep resentment to burnout, and a profound disconnection from your desires. When you're constantly prioritizing others' needs over your own, you're sending a message to the universe that your desires aren't important.

And you're energetically pushing away the very things that you're trying to attract. [00:09:00] But here's the good news guys. Here's the good news. I've guided millions of people through breakthroughs. I've written 10 spiritual self-help books, and I've spent two decades immersed in what truly works and what I've discovered is that the right answer to accelerate manifestation and feel good isn't about being nicer.

About creating energetic alignment. It's about creating energetic boundaries that protect your manifesting power, that protect your greatest resource, your energy. And in this video, I'm going to give you my proven spiritual strategy to stop the energetic leaks you're going to discover the number one hidden energetic truth about why people pleasing, sabotage is your manifestations.

A powerful boundary setting reframe to instantly strengthen your energy field. And finally, the most important secret of all. How to generate the feeling that you're chasing so that you don't have to rely on other people to get it. [00:10:00] All right, let's dive straight in. We're starting with the foundational truth.

You must understand about the energetic cost of people pleasing. The energetic cord cutting truth. Most people don't realize they've unconsciously created energetic cords to others, and these cords are constantly sending your precious energy outward in an attempt to control perceptions and gain approval.

And this isn't just a mental habit, it's a very real energetic drain. What if the biggest block isn't your desire itself, but the invisible cords of obligation or expectation? These cords are siphoning off your power, and we're going to start with a powerful visualization. The moment that you catch yourself about to say yes, when you mean no, or if you're feeling burdened by someone else's expectations, I want you to immediately close your eyes for a moment if you can, or go to the bathroom and just find your place where you can be silent and take a deep breath in.[00:11:00] 

And now imagine an energetic cord connecting your solar plexus, your center. To the other person or situation and just see it clearly and breathe in. And on the exhale, visualize taking a metaphorical energetic scissor and just cut the cord gently releasing that connection and then affirm this statement.

I reclaim my energy and do this once or twice. The simple act creates an immediate energetic release. Why does this matter? You're not just being selfish by cutting cords, you're actually reclaiming your sacred life force. And this isn't about cutting off love or connection, it's about releasing the unhealthy, energetic cord attachments that are depleting you.

And by doing this, you're telling the universe that you are ready to receive abundance directly, not through the filtered lens of other [00:12:00] people's energy. And this is what creates a quantum leap in your ability to manifest freely and powerfully and to just. Feel more at ease. And here's the cool news. I've actually made a guided meditation for you so you can do this on your own.

It is a cord cutting meditation, and all you have to do is go to dear gabby.com/cord cutting. This free meditation will guide you through the entire process of cutting the cords with the negative energy attachments. And that's a deep one, right? Reclaiming your energetic power. This is really big. It's profound, but if you don't also proactively strengthen your energetic field, then you'll just keep forming new draining cords.

And that brings us to the most misunderstood topic in the spiritual world, foundries. Most people think that a boundary is this harsh, no, like a wall that you put up or a confrontation that you have with somebody, and it's something you have to dread. But actually spiritual boundaries are completely different.

A divine boundary [00:13:00] is not about what you are pushing away. It's about what you are protecting. It's about deciding what energy you are available for, and the most powerful way to set a boundary is to get clear on the feeling you want to preserve. I remember years ago I had a friend who was always in this state of drama.

Like every phone call would leave me feeling like this negative energy, this anxious energy. I felt drained from her energy and from her vibe. And for months I would just, people please by picking up the phone and just out of obligation. I'd spend an hour listening to her, and then I'd spend like another hour recovering my energy at the end of the call.

And finally I found the feeling I wanted to protect was my peace. So the next time she called, instead of declining out of anger, I set a boundary from Love. I just lovingly for my own personal peace, said I'm taking some quiet time for myself today, but sending you so much love. I just can't talk right now.

And I wasn't rejecting her. I was protecting my peace. Your application is to identify the [00:14:00] feeling that you wanna protect, be it your creativity, your peace, your joy. Make decisions that honor that feeling, and this matters because the universe responds to the energy that you claim, not to the energy you tolerate.

When you lovingly protect your presence, you are sending a powerful message. I'm worthy of peace, and as a result, the universe will bring you far more peaceful relationships. Circumstances and opportunities, and you can stop manifesting from that place of obligation and start manifesting from a place of authentic, high vibrational energy.

And setting energy boundaries protects your energy field. But this final point is the most important one of all. This is the ultimate secret that's gonna set you free from that need to people please. And it's gonna set you free from that need forever. If you get this, everything is going to change. Let's be honest.

Why do we people please, we do it? [00:15:00] Because we're seeking a feeling from an external source. We wanna feel safe and we wanna feel validated, approved of, or loved. We contort ourselves into knots, hoping someone else will give us that feeling that we really, really want. But as a super attractor, as a spiritual person, your job isn't to seek good feelings.

It's to generate them. You have the power to give yourself the exact feeling that you are chasing. And so when I first started my career, I was desperate for approval. I would check my email constantly looking for validation from agents or publishers to tell me that I was good enough and I was outsourcing my sense of worth.

The shift happened when I realized that I could feel approved of right here, right now by myself. My practice became a five minute daily meditation where I would connect with my inner sense of spirit, my own loving presence, and I would literally say to myself, Gabby, I approve of you. You are [00:16:00] worthy. And I started generating the feeling of approval and that internal sensation of approval and your application is to identify the feeling that you're chasing through people pleasing, is it security?

Is it love? Is it worthiness? And then find one small action you can take to give that feeling to yourself. If you seek security, you can just put your hand on your heart. This is very powerful. Give yourself a heart hold. Put your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly, and affirm, I am safe. If you seek love, practice deep self-compassion.

This is the master key because when you can generate the feelings that you desire, you're no longer dependent on anyone else outside of you to give them to you, you actually take back your energetic power. That desperate, needy energy of people pleasing can just dissolve, and it's replaced by this radiant, self sourced confidence.

And this high vibrational energy makes you a magnet for what you want. You no longer need to please [00:17:00] others to get scraps of validation. You become this energy of worthiness and that attracts this authentic connection that you really, genuinely want and an effortless relationship. So let's wrap this up.

We've completely dismantled the pattern of people pleasing that has been blocking your power. You now know that this isn't just a bad habit, it's an energetic leak, but now you have the tools. You are going to cut that energetic cord that drains you. And again, you can go to dear gabby.com/cord cutting to get the free meditation that I can guide you through where I lead you through the journey of cord cutting.

And then you're also going to set a divine boundary to protect your peace and your most important energy resource. And you're going to stop seeking good feelings and start generating them. For yourself. Stop seeking them and start generating them.

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Have you ever left a conversation feeling really depleted? Somebody just siphoned the life right out of you. You went in feeling great, but you came out feeling really heavy or anxious or exhausted. Maybe you're a highly sensitive person and you're really open-hearted and sometimes unintentionally you can absorb that heaviness or that energy of other people.

And the people that are kind of sucking your energy, they're often lost in their own chaos. They can unconsciously drain the people around them, and the goal of this episode isn't to judge them, it's to empower you. I'm gonna show you how to maintain your compassion from a safe distance using powerful spiritual tools to shield your energy so that you can be a beacon of [00:22:00] light, not a sponge for someone else's pain, fear, or anxiety.

So who are these people? These energy vampires? We've been taught to think of them as just negative people. It's the friend who's constantly drama dumping on you or the family member who loves to create chaos in the family dynamic, or the coworker who's constantly complaining. We think the solution is just to have a positive attitude or just simply avoid them, and we believe the problem is them, that our only option is to just run or hide or just.

That feeling of dread when you see their name pop up on the phone or the exhaustion that makes you just feel like you wanna crawl into bed after a family gathering. That's a real energetic imbalance. When you're an empath or a really sensitive person, your energy field is just naturally open. And the people in our lives who are like these energy vampires consciously or unconsciously, walk right in and take what they need, leaving you empty.

It can feel like you're weighed down by their negativity, [00:23:00] and it's exhausting. But here's the truth, that changed everything for me. The problem isn't the energy vampire. The problem is your lack of spiritual boundaries. The solution isn't to run and hide. The solution is to stand your ground to become energetically impenetrable.

You are not powerless. You are a powerful spiritual being who has simply never been taught how to protect your own energy. And in this episode, I'm gonna give you my proven spiritual strategy to build that shield, that boundary of protection around you. And you're gonna discover the five clear signs that you're in the presence of an energy vampire.

I'm gonna teach you my golden light shield technique to make your aura impenetrable. And finally, a simple practice to deflect negative energy in seconds. Okay, let's get right into it. The first step to protecting your energy is recognizing when it's under attack. This isn't a mystery. Your body gives you clear signs.

An energetic attack isn't always dramatic. It's actually [00:24:00] sometimes very subtle. So here are the five signs to watch out for. One sudden fatigue, you feel like your battery drained from a hundred percent to 20% in minutes. You can oftentimes also feel disoriented. You suddenly find it's really hard to concentrate or form a clear thought, unexplained anxiety or heaviness.

You feel a weight on your chest or a knot in your stomach that wasn't there before the interaction began. You feel unseen. The entire conversation is about them. They never ask you a question about yourself. You feel more like an audience than a friend. You start fixing, you immediately jump into problem solving mode for them taking on their stress as your own.

Recognizing these signs is really powerful because this is your spiritual alarm system going off. And the moment that you notice one of these signs, you can move from a place of powerlessness to one of an awareness. Being an aware observer, as I like to call it, and from that place of awareness, you can actually start to [00:25:00] take an action and that awareness is your alarm be.

What do you do when the alarm goes off? I'm about to share the most powerful tool that I can give you for creating lasting energetic protection. And this is the solution to long-term protection, and it's gonna fortify your own energetic boundaries. And think of this as a spiritual superpower, a shield you can activate on demand.

And I call this the Golden light shield. This is a really simple and powerful technique that you can do in under two minutes. Anytime you feel vulnerable. So let's get right into it right here, right now. I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath in, slowly in through your nose, and exhale out through your mouth, and bring your attention to your heart center.

Imagining a tiny gold and ember of light glowing right in the middle of your chest. This is your pure divine energy. [00:26:00] It's your power and continue to inhale and exhale deeply. With every inhale, this light grows a little bit brighter. As you exhale, it expands outward. Inhale and the light's a bit brighter.

And exhale, seeing this light extending farther and farther. Imagine the light is growing and surrounding your entire body from the top of your head all the way down to your toes. This light is strong. It's a shield, it's impenetrable. This is your golden shield. Any energy that is not yours, any negativity, any draining frequency.

Is simply reflected right off of this shield. [00:27:00] It cannot enter. You are completely safe within this light. You are whole and you are protected.

Now take one more deep breath in and on the exhale, feel the power and safety of this shield. And when you're ready, gently open your eyes.

Now, just check in right now and see how are you feeling? How do you feel inside? You just activated your protection, your energy shield of light. This is not just a visualization. You're actually directing Life Force Energy. This practice can and I recommend, should be done daily because it strengthens your energetic protection over time.

So you're gonna go from being an open door to being a fortress of light. And this is actually how we can reclaim our power. We can [00:28:00] reclaim our power in the moments when we recognize that we have an energetic boundary, that there's an intention inside to really protect our field, protect our own energetic field, and that meditation is your daily armor.

What if you're in the middle of a conversation and you feel the other person's negative energy just impacting you right there on the spot. You can't just close your eyes and meditate. So that's where the final powerful tool comes in. You need a tool that works in seconds. One you can use with your eyes open in the middle of a draining conversation.

And this is a physical tool I always use. I use it all the time, and particularly when I can't just walk away. I call it the energetic lock. The moment that you feel that draining sensation, I want you to subtly cross your legs even just. At the ankles if you have to, and no one can actually notice that.

Or if you're standing, you can just stand with your legs crossed. Then gently cross your arms over your solar plexus right at your stomach area [00:29:00] and physically you're closing your body's energetic circuit. Your energy field, which is normally open and radiating and outwards becomes contained, and this simple, powerful posture actually creates a physical boundary that stops your energy from leaking out and blocks the draining energy from coming in.

And I remember being at an industry event cornered by someone who was really complaining endlessly about their career, and they were trying to really get me to give them advice, and they were just like hooking into me, and I could literally feel my energy plummeting. And I really didn't wanna be rude.

So while smiling and nodding, I just crossed my ankles and I crossed my arms and I folded my arms over my stomach, and I created this energetic lock. And the shift was immediate. I could still be present and listen compassionately, but I wasn't absorbing their negativity and I felt safe and I felt contained in my own energy, and I even noticed that they had this subtle, subtle note from me.

This. And I even noticed a subtle shift inside of them. I noticed that they kind of got the memo that I wasn't really [00:30:00] there as an open book, and I was there to kind of protect myself a little bit more than they thought originally. And this matters because it gives your power back in the moment. It proves that you are never trapped in someone else's energy field.

And with this simple physical action, you can protect your energy and reclaim your peace no matter who you're talking to. And it's a spiritual emergency tool. Your energy is your most precious resource, so I want you to stop letting people take it without your permission. This is really important. I want you to really take ownership of your energy.

There's a lot of chaos in the world right now. We're picking up a lot of things that we don't wanna be picking up, and you now have the signs to look for when there's an energy vampire around and you can have your antenna up, and you now also have your golden light shield for daily protection. And you now have your energy lock so you can really protect yourself in the moment, so you're really equipped.

And if you wanna do this Golden Light Shield as a guided meditation with me every single day, I have an extended version inside my Gabby coaching app. If you're an app member, go to the discover section, [00:31:00] it's right there. And if you're not a member, check it out for seven days free. Go to dear gabby.com/app and you can try out my incredible.

It's like having me as your coach in your pocket with hundreds of meditations and practices. Go to dear gabby.com/app or click the link in the description and now you know how to protect your energy. And the next step is to strengthen it from within. To build up that radiant light so that you can become a fortress of positivity.

And to help you do that, I have a gift for you. It's my free magnetic energy meditation. This meditation is the perfect tool to cultivate that powerful self sourced energy we talked about today. And so you can listen to it for free at dear gabby.com/magnetic. And I've also put the link in the description.

I really want you to take these tools seriously, my friend, because again, we are always picking up the energy that's around us, and we have to be in a container where we can hold that energy with so much respect and so much love and so much [00:32:00] tension. These are not just practices for clearing and protection.

These are actually practices that will help you realign in the moment and also set an internal boundary that sends a message out to others. I am not here for your negative stuff. I am absolutely boundaried and protected. We have to really see this as energy wellbeing, not just all the things we put into our body, but what is the energy we're putting into our field.

And I really hope that you take this seriously and share this with a friend who needs it, because I know you have empath friends out there, highly sensitive people that really need a tool like this. So let's just take a moment to honor the profound work we've done here today. We've pulled back the curtain on the things that have been draining your most precious resource, your energy, and you now have a complete spiritual toolkit.

You know the five clear signs that your energy is being compromised. You have the golden Light Shield meditation as your daily armor and the energy lock for protecting your energy in the moment. And you know how [00:33:00] to cut the energetic cords of obligation from your past. How to reframe boundaries as a loving request to protect your peace.

And most importantly, you now know the ultimate secret to generate the feeling of worthiness and love from within. You really no longer have to seek that from anyone else. It's coming from yourself. You have everything you need to go from feeling drained, obligated, blocked, to feeling really powerful and feeling free and feeling aligned with the energy of the universe.

Before we close out, I'm gonna share a powerful coaching moment that brings this work to life. When you get drained by other people, that is not cool. It's kind of like these energy vampires out there that can just, just take our energy and sometimes unconsciously we can pick up stuff that we don't wanna pick up.

So here is a simple prayer that you can use right here, right now to clear your energy and release anything that you've picked up and retrieve any positive energy that somebody else might have. [00:34:00] Stolen from you and legit they can steal it from you. So here we go. This is our prayer. I ask that any negative energy I may have picked up be removed from me.

Now I ask that any positive energy I may have lost be retrieved. Now say the prayer as often as you need to repeat it a few times right now. I ask that any negative energy that I may have picked up be removed. Now I ask that any positive energy I may have lost be retrieved. Now what you're doing is you're sending a massive message to the universe that you want the energy back and that you wanna release the negative energy right here, right now.

You have the power and the intention inside of you to cleanse your energy field when people are energy vampires or when they're imprinting on you. I hope this helps. Go clear your energy now. Thank you [00:35:00] so much for listening to the show today. I love you. I love you. I love you, and I just can't wait to keep helping you in all these ways.

And I wanna thank you for committing to protecting your peace. I love you guys. Have a beautiful week.
If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode, make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me, so I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review and you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein.

And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby, [email protected]. See you next week. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect [00:36:00] financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional.