In 2015, I was writing my book The Universe Has Your Back. I finished it a month early, sent it off to my publisher …

And then I reread the manuscript. 

It. sucked. 

Seriously! It was baddddddd.  

The book was choppy, disconnected, and clearly not written from the heart. 

Just as I buried my head in my hands, thinking “EFF! What am I going to do!? I cannot put this book out into the world!” … my phone pinged. I had a new email from my publisher! 

I braced myself for her response … and then I let out a little whoop. 

“Gabby, honey,” she’d written. “I’m swamped!!. I’m sorry. I can’t read this for at least two more months. Please send me the manuscript then!” 

>>>>The Universe had my back

My Spiritual Intervention

I had two more months to write the book. And for the next eight weeks, I made it my mission to get super aligned with the Universe. I had to live it to tell it! I spent two months giving myself a total spiritual intervention. (You know the show House Flippers? I was starring in my own version of soul flipper!) 

As I rewrote the book, I reconnected with the Universe, I strengthened my alignment, and I truly stepped into my power as a super attractor! You can do the same.

The Universe Has Your Back

In today’s bonus episode of Dear Gabby, I’ll share exactly what I did to sync back up with the Universe, at a time when I’d been feeling really low.

Listen to this Dear Gabby and get a front-row seat to one of my talks from The Universe Has Your Back book tour!

You’ll hear me riff on: 

  • How to put a lid on that pushy, controlling voice in your head, and tuned into the voice of love instead! (Trust me: it’s so much more chill.)  
  • The embarrassing thing I had to get super real about while I was writing the book. (THIS is why I had to give myself a spiritual intervention!) 
  • How to start feeling so aligned with the Universe that you wake up every day and say: “hell, yes!” 
  • How to recognize what’s up so it won’t keep coming up. (I’m talking fear, anxiety … all those annoying things that hold you back!) 
  • The radical shift in perspective I had after the most FRANTIC workday ever

Annnd, last but not least, I will share the answer to the question I get asked most frequently: “Gabby, how the EFF can I just ‘let it go?!’” 

Well, I’m glad you asked … 

Surrender & Trust That the Universe Has Your Back!

In this talk, I cover some of my 4-step method to spiritual surrender … and I’ll give you the most important step now! 

The First Step to Spiritual Surrender 

The first step to getting aligned with the Universe is to take your hands off the wheel through prayer. That’s it! 

The Universe Has Your Back is filled with prayers for you … I joke that my Insta bio should have “prayer-giver” in it! Here’s a simple one you can say aloud right now: 

Thank you, Universe, for taking this issue from me and reinterpreting it for me. I surrender.

After saying these words, sit silently for a moment. Let a feeling of calm wash over you, and have faith that the Universe has heard your prayer. 

Prayer Is a Medium for Miracles

I used that prayer daily when I was writing The Universe Has Your Back, and it connected me to a feeling of peace and inspiration. By the time I wrote the second draft of the book, I was deeply connected to its message. 

I knew that the Universe had my back … I could feel it every day! And this connection inspired me in every area of my life… including in my writing! I can unapologetically say that my second draft of the book did not suck in the slightest. 

I also used prayer as a medium for miracles while I was writing my new book, Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace. The book — which comes out on February 22, 2022 — shares my personal journey of overcoming trauma. It wasn’t always easy to write, but it was deeply worth it. 

Willingness to Heal

In Happy Days, I break down the tools I used to break free from fear, anxiety, and insomnia. My prayer is that by reading this book, my healing becomes your own.  

As I say in Chapter 1 of Happy Days: “The slightest willingness to feel better is a prayer to the Universe asking for help, and an acceptance that there has to be a better way” 

Because of this, you’ve already already started co-creating with the Universe! By reading my blog, by  listening to today’s episode of Dear Gabby, or by reading spiritual books, you’re forming a deep connection with the Universe. 

So be proud of yourself for being here. Be proud of your willingness to feel better. 

And know that you can return to this episode again and again, anytime you need to remember that the Universe has your back! 

 

And if you want some extra credit, press play on the video below to hear me reveal another key step in the spiritual surrender method. 

Want to manifest MAJOR blessings in 2023?

Join my Manifesting Challenge that starts January 1st! ⁣⁣⁣I’m revealing my personal manifesting methods—the ones I’ve used for years to create a life beyond my wildest dreams—and I’ll be guiding you every step of the way.⁣⁣⁣

Inside my 21-Day Manifesting Challenge, you’ll get:

  • Easy-to-follow lessons to learn how to master the Law of Attraction and co-create with the Universe in real time
  • Manifesting practices to supercharge your energy and make you a MAGNET for your desires
  • High-frequency meditations to raise your vibration and open your heart to receive the gifts of the Universe

Unlock the universe’s secret to attracting everything you desire with my 21-day Manifesting Challenge.

Join the manifesting challenge

 

Get More Gabby

Want even more support? I created the Miracle Membership to help you design a spiritual practice you can stick to and feel connected, supported and inspired every day. Each week I deliver new coaching lessons, guided meditations, journaling exercises, community connection, and so much more. Plus, it’s easy to access on your phone, computer or tablet. Click here to join.

Want more Universe Has Your Back? Whether you’re reading the book for the first time or want to grab a copy for a friend, this book will serve you greatly at this time. It’s my guidebook for aligning with the Universe to co-create a life that’s beyond your wildest dreams!

My new book Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace will be released on February 22, 2022 — and it’s available for pre-order now! This book reveals the 9 spiritual and therapeutic tools I used to break free from trauma and find my own happy days on the other side of fear and anxiety.

If you need additional support, please click into my trusted list of mental health resources. I’m proud of you for being here.

Transcript

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life ...

The following podcast is a Dear Media production.

Hey there. Welcome to Dear Gabby. I’m your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means you’re ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let’s get started.

Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Today, I have a particularly raspy voice. I have been sick for a week. Uh, thankfully I’m getting it out of my system before my book comes out on the 22nd. 2 22, 22. Oh my God. Happy Days coming to us. And right now, I have my codependent kitty sitting on my lap and you’re just going to have to enjoy the soft purr in the background, which frankly, isn’t a terrible way to start this show.

I am obsessed with her and she’s a little bit obsessed with me. If you haven’t noticed on my Instagram. Today’s episode is very, very special to me. It’s very important for me to continue to share my talks that I’ve created. They’re talks that I put my heart and soul into. And I spent hours and hours and an outline for a talk.

And the best talks I have given have been based on the principles of my books. And this one in particular is a talk from The Universe Has Your Back book tour. It fires me up every single time I listen to it.

The process of writing the book, The Universe Has Your Back, was one of the most divine spiritual practices of feeling like a channel for inspired ideas. And all of that comes through in this talk today. And I really hope that this bonus episode really ignites a spark within you and really helps you recognize that you have the power within you to truly trust that the universe has your back.

That life can be easier, that things can flow. That you can rely on a faith in a higher power. And in this episode, I riff on a lot of topics. I talk about the embarrassing thing that I had to get super real about while I was writing this book and I had to give myself a spiritual intervention, no freaking joke.

I share how to start feeling really aligned with the universe, so much so that you wake up every day and say, hell yes, let’s go. Let’s make some moves. I teach you how to recognize what’s up. So it won’t keep coming up, right? Like the same relationship that you keep attracting, how you can stop doing that.

I’m talking about fear and anxiety and how you can heal those patterns because they keep showing up and all those annoying things that hold you back. And then I also share this radical shift in perspective that I had with Jenny McCarthy, by my side. Yep. My girl, Jenny McCarthy. And last but not least, I’m going to share the answer to the question.

I get asked most frequently, Gabby, how the F can I just let go? In this talk, I dig into my 4-step method for spiritual surrender and really teach you the methods for releasing the need to control. But what’s most beautiful about this is it’s an introduction to what one of my live talks is like. I am doing the same thing.

This book tour with Happy Days actually is igniting a whole new way for me this month to really express the, the methods for my book virtually. I’m doing a live online event experience to just blow your mind. It’s a full day. I am leading a full day workshop on the principles of Happy Days. And so I really recommend listening to this episode because it’s such a great jumpstart to what’s to come in the Happy Days full day workshop.

And once again, that workshop is totally free when you pre-order the book at deargabby.com/happy days. So now let’s get the prep work going for the Happy Days book event and the launch and listen to The Universe Has Your Back book tour talk; allow it to settle into your system.

Give yourself permission to go deep into that voice of surrender within. Let my kitties beautiful purr guide you in now and enjoy. I just so pleased to be able to share this with you. I love you guys. Enjoy and know that the universe has your back.

Over the past six years or so, I’ve gotten really, really into my dental hygiene. It was interesting. I never really was taught to floss. It wasn’t something that was brought up with a lot of attention towards, so I had to address it myself. And that is why I love Lumineux. This is just the best brand for your dental hygiene.

What I don’t love is all the toxic ingredients that most dental products have, and they’re not good for my health and my teeth. And I want the best for my oral health. And so products made with natural ingredients that helped me smile and not harm my smile. And they come in Lumineux. Lumineux makes toothpaste, mouthwash and whitening products that actually help your oral health instead of hurting it.

They use purposeful and uncompromising ingredients like sea salt, aloe, coconut oils to clean and brighten your smile.
I love coconut oil. Before Lumineux, I was actually taking coconut oil on my own and using it as part of my dental hygiene. But now it’s all-in-one. Thank you. Thank you, Lumineux. Plus everything they make is certified non-toxic you won’t find any harsh bleaches, artificial dyes, or alcohol in any of Lumineux’s products.

Everything they make is dentist formulated backed by over 50 studies and proven to protect the good bacteria in your smile. Also known as microbiome. We’re always talking about microbiome here. Lumineux whitening strips are super effective and perfect for sensitive teeth. That was my issue. I had really sensitive gums and this has been a game changer for me.

My teeth are so much whiter than they used to be, and I’m not having any trouble drinking hot or cold beverages. This is greatly supported me in so many ways. It’s incredible to use something that’s non-toxic and actually works. I’ve been doing so much press lately for my newest book, which means extra time on camera.

And I’ve noticed such a difference in my smiles and switching to Lumineux and my old oral care just wasn’t working for me. I love how my smile feels, and I know you’ll love Lumineux as much as I do get 15% off your order today by going to getlumineux.com/gabby. And let me spell this out for you. That’s G E T L U M I N E U X.com/gabby.

And use code Gabby to save 15%. G E T L U M I N E U X.com/gabby.

So in January of 2015, I started working on this book. And I had the book deal. I had the publisher, I had the deadline, I had it all lined up. Perfect plan, but I was going through the darkest time of my life. I was going through one of the most difficult, most uncomfortable periods and I didn’t know why.

I was deeply disconnected from the exact source of love that I was there to write about. But I had to finish the book. I had to get it done. I had a deadline. And if you know anything about me, I don’t like to be late for anything. I’m always on time. And typically I’m early. So here I am going to have his deadline.

I have this, this book deal and I’ve got this expectation, but I cannot bring myself to deepen the connection and truly the connection was lost. But I woke up every day and I wrote my thousand words and I wake up the next day and I’d write another 500 words and I write another thousand words and I write another 500 words and I continued to move in that direction, even though I deeply, deeply felt so disconnected from the truth of what I was writing about.

By December. I had actually gotten to about 53,000 words, which is typical book count for me, typical word count for me. So here I am, and I’m finishing and completing this book at this 53,000 word mark, and I’m, I’m looking at the book and I’m like, okay, great. You know, Gabby’s early. I’ve always early. I was born two weeks early, like we’re good.

I emailed my publisher, Patty, and I’m like, Patty, I’m going to get the book to you a month early because the book was due in January. I’m gonna get the book to you a month early. I, uh, you know, I think I’m ready to just submit it. I’m going to get it into you. I don’t hear back from her right away. So I take some time to actually just spend some time reading the book, making sure that it’s edited properly, ready to go, getting it prepared for the publisher.

I read through the entire manuscript in a night. And it sucked. It sucked. It was really, really bad. It was disconnected. It wasn’t from the heart, it was missing the truth. It was missing the truth. And here I was, holy shit. I have one month before the book is due and it sucks. What am I going to do? And within an hour of that freak out moment, I received an email from Patty saying, Honey, the book isn’t due until February 1st. I couldn’t take it a day sooner because I have way too much on my plate. Please don’t send it to me until then.

The universe had my back. So I had two months, I had two months to fix this issue. I had two months to resurrect this book. I had two months to get grounded. I had two months to get out of the way.

I had two months to fix what I had broken. And in that two-month period, I realized I had no other choice, but to do what all co-creators must do. All creators must be co-creators. We must learn how to step aside and let spirit work through us. Me must learn how to let go of our will, to let go of our, our fight, our control, and allow the presence of spirit to move through us so that we can create a collaborative creation for the world.

And so this was my only choice I had to step aside. So looking at this book and, and taking it in, I realized I had to get real. I had to get honest. I had to tell the truth about what was up, even though it was embarrassing, even though it was shameful, even though there was a lot of guilt and suffering. I had to tell you the truth.

I had no choice, but to tell you the truth, because that’s the commitment that I have made to you. The commitment I have made to my readers is to be honest, is to be forthcoming, is to be authentic, is to be real and is to be a conduit through which the universe can move through me so that I can remind you of your connection to that love too.

And if I wasn’t going to step aside and allow that presence to move through than I better not publish books anymore. So in that two month period, I rewrote the entire book. I rewrote each chapter. I rewrote each lesson. I rewrote the meditations. I added new chapters. I deleted chapters. I added some of the best chapters days before I submitted it because I was allowing, I was allowing, I was allowing. I was not trying to be perfect.

I was allowing, I was in the presence of letting what needed to come through, come through so that I could be an expression of love. And in that commitment, I’m proud to share that I was healed. Through the experience of rewriting this book. I healed my own perceptions. I transformed my fear to faith. I gave myself a spiritual intervention.

I received a tremendous amount of healing, guidance, wisdom, direction, just because I stepped back and let spirit move through me, because I stepped back and allowed myself to co-create to collaborate, to give forth something that was beyond my will. My way. And that’s what this book is. So not only has it given me the opportunity to heal, but it’s also given me the opportunity to feel like I am fully showing up for my mission.

My mission, which is to crack open as many people as possible to the divine guidance of spirit that is within them and around them. My mission, which is to help you establish a spiritual connection of your own understanding, a spiritual connection that makes you feel safe, that makes you feel guided.

That makes you feel supported. That makes you feel the wild synchronicities of the universe around you. So that you can wake up and say, hell fucking yes, it’s another day. Thank you universe.

[APPLAUSE]

And that is my commitment to you. And I’m proud to share that this book is a compilation of my truth. It is Gabby’s greatest hits. It’s Gabby’s greatest fuck ups and everything else. And in those stories and in those lessons, I have given you an opportunity to recognize yourself. I’ve given you a chance to remember what is real for you.

I’ve given you a chance to say, hell yes, I’m ready. Are you ready? So, yes, we’re ready. We’re living in times that are filled with division. We are living in times that are filled with attack, judgment, separation, racial injustice. We are living in terribly difficult times. How many of you are feeling that disconnect, that, that wavering, that feeling of fear just by turning on your Snapchat or your news or your Instagram? You are in the terror of what is up, are you with me?

Cause I know that’s where I’m at. I know that’s where I’m at. And so in these times we must show up. It’s when we gather in rooms like this, when the collective communities of spiritually like-minded beings come together in the name of love, that is when we shift the energy of the planet. And that is the… that is the true mission of this book.

Not just to awaken you individually, but wake you up so you can wake up your best friend and wake up your lover and wake up your babies and wake up your neighbors and wake up your enemies. Because that is the work that we are here to do. I write these books just to wake you up so you can wake everybody else up.

And I thank you, my readers, for being on this mission with me. Because we are on mission together. We are not just living in times where we can say, oh, there’s a recession or, oh, there’s just something difficult going on. We’re living in times where we are it’s life or death. And so if we don’t bring forth that power presence within us. If we don’t suck the joy out of every moment, if we don’t transform our obstacles into opportunities for divine healing and guidance, then we might as well stay stuck, small and asleep.

And it is my commitment tonight to share with you some of the stories in the book that have healed me. I don’t want to give it all away.

So I’m going to give you a little bit, just a little taste of what you can expect from this book. Some of the lessons aren’t even in the book, something that happened today as I was driving uptown. So I’m going to give you the messages and the lessons in this book that began to spark this reigniting of this light within me.

And, and I hope that you can recognize yourself in all that. The first lesson I want to share with you tonight is actually one of the, one of the most important steps that we have to address if we’re going to begin a spiritual path of any kind.

And this step is recognizing what’s up so that it won’t keep coming up. If we don’t show up for what’s up, it will keep coming up. It will keep showing. It will continue to show up in different forms in different, in different ways. And it will rock you to your core and it won’t just rock you because you’re so uncomfortable with what’s showing up. It will rock you because you’ll be like, shit, it’s here again. And that happened to me today.

If you follow me on social media, you know, that I recently got sick and lost my voice. I’m still a little bit raspy. As a podcaster, that was really tough. And it sucked. I actually had to cancel a bajillion recordings, but luckily, I had our lovely sponsor Gem by my side.

Gem is the first multivitamin—that’s so cute—you eat not take. Nutrient-dense bites designed to replace your multivitamin and complicated supplement routines and then a form that your body understands and digests best—whole food. Did you know that nearly 90% of Americans are nutrient deficient? I’m not surprised to hear that. There’s a massive misconception that just because you eat healthfully, your body doesn’t need anything extra.

That’s not true. If you’re listening and you’re part of that 90% give Gem a try gem is not a snack and it’s not a vitamin as you know them today. Capsules, pills, gummies, et cetera. It’s real food. You know, the stuff your body knows and loves? It’s designed to make you happy and healthy. Gem is made up of a blend of 15 plus whole food ingredients that give you all the essential vitamins minerals, adaptogens, superfoods, prebiotics, probiotics.

And all of this will help with our modern lifestyle needs, helping with total mind and body support. I’ve noticed such a difference in how I feel since I’ve been taking Gem. The prebiotics and probiotics keep my gut feeling really healthy. And that is a huge priority for me. Gem is free of synthetics, artificial ingredients, added sugar, soy, gluten, and animal protein.

It’s just good food, plants only, packed into a bite. If you want to take Gem and try their seasonal favorites, citrus ginger daily essential for yourself, you have a special offer because you’re a Dear Gabby audience member. Go to gemvitamins.com/gabby. Or enter Gabby at checkout for 30% off your first order.

That’s G E M vitamins.com/gabby for 30% off your first order. Thank you, Gem.

I woke up this morning and, um, I saw the email that went out to everybody with this launch email that my team and I had prepared so perfectly. And we had it all set up to go out in two different ways, with two different bits of language and go to the perfect page link.

And the email went out to hundreds of thousands of people and it went with the wrong link. On my launch day. So this sent me into a tizzy, like a tizzy beyond just, oh, that sucks. Let’s find a way to fix it, right? Like a tizzy beyond like, oh, that’s uncomfortable. That’s like, let’s make this happen. Who did this?

Let’s fix it now. That would be like the normal response. I went into full-body shaking. I get in my Uber driving up to do a radio show. I’m screaming. The most profound profanities, the poor Uber man was like, God, bless this woman. She’s probably sitting there like praying to God that I will get out of the car on the phone with my project manager, Jessica in London going, what the fuck happened here?

You know, losing my mind. I show up Stacey, my publicist is waiting for me at Sirius radio. She’s looking at me, isn’t this so exciting? I’m like, it’s a fucking miserable morning, honey. And she’s like, don’t let anybody see you doing that.

A woman walks up to me. Are you Gabrielle Bernstein? I’m like, oh shit. So it goes on and the diamonds on, and it’s just, it’s just one moment after the next, I’m just giving this poor girl, Stacy, who’s new to the team, just giving her so much attitude, you know, just so pissed, like, you know, and then I’m sitting there with her and I’m just, I’m just, you know, slowly the steam is slowly shedding and dying off.

Slowly, I’m starting to engage and I’m realizing, okay, I got to go on the radio in a few minutes. I really have to get this together. And I go on the radio and I’m with this lovely woman, Jenny McCarthy. She’s so cool, this lady. And I love her. She’s awesome. So she’s interviewing me and little did I know, she wasn’t really into self-help books.

And so she’s talking to me and she’s like, you know, well, what happens when you know, things don’t go, right? Like how do you know the universe has your back? Well, you know, Jenny, the shit hit the fan for me this morning and things were not going right. I’m not happy. Then I told her, I said, listen, on the radio. I said, email it out, a hundred thousand people got the wrong link. And, and she said, well, well, what do you do with that? How do you transform that fear into faith? What do you do with that?

I said, I’m doing it right now. I’m accepting in this moment that that reaction, my, my fear-based reaction to that somewhat seemingly insignificant issue in the grand scheme of things. My reaction was another opportunity to be in the witnessing of what is up, to witness another divine, spiritual assignment for optimal growth and healing, to see myself in my wound.

Not in my crazy, in my wound. What that triggered in me is a very deep wound. I am not supported. I have to do it all. That’s where the tears came from. That’s where the, the, the fierce, fierce anger, the anger and the frustration and the cursing and the, and the, and the fire. It comes from the little girl who did not feel supported.

And that is what keeps showing up. So it will keep showing up until you show up. So one of the ways that we can begin to show up is first and foremost is to look at it, whether you’re on the radio or you’re with a best friend, just call it by its name. Jenny McCarthy. Here’s my fucking fear again, honey.

And that’s what it was. That’s what it was just looking at my fear straight in my face and honoring the wound. And so, if we don’t honor what’s up, it will keep coming up. It will keep coming up. It will keep showing up in different forms, in different, in different ways, in different attitudes and different relationships.

It’ll keep showing up in the same relationship, just a different being. It’ll keep showing up in the same job, just a different boss. It’ll keep showing up in the same situation, just a different angle. So we must show up for what’s up or it will keep showing up. And that what we need to show up for is our resistance to love.

The stories, the beliefs, the things that we hook into the limitations, the doubt, the judgment, the attack, all that we hook into. These are the ways that we resist the energy and the flow of the universe. And if I’m going to write a book for you about how the universe has your back, I better talk to you first and foremost about how the universe can be blocked by you.

So the first few chapters of his book identify the resistance. It helps you look at that resistance. Look at it, head on honor. Witness it get real about it. Do you know what your resistance is? Do any of, you know, like how do you resist love? Tell me, do you resist love because you play small? Do you act out, do you speak poorly about other people because you are afraid to see what you don’t like about yourself?

What are the ways that you resist love? Get honest with yourself. Tell me how are you resisting? Are you playing small? Trying to control as a major one, baby. Let’s talk about control. When we try to control we’re in a place where we believe we are God, right? We think we know I have the power of the universe.

But really the true power of the universe, allowing the power of the universe to move through us is when we step back and we allow, when we let go of the rope, when we allow that place of control to be released sitting there in the radio show this afternoon, I just sat there and I let go of the rope.

I said, I’m willing to let this go. I’m willing to release this and willing to see this differently. And in that moment of letting go of the control, the universe could come back in and the rest of my day could unfold accordingly. And I can show up here tonight and not feel disconnected and not feel frazzled and not feel like I’m still worrying about the email that didn’t go out right this morning, but most importantly feel supported.

Right? So when you’re controlled, When you’re in limitation, when you’re in lack, when you’re in self judgment, when you’re in a, in, in, in a place of unforgiveness, all of these ways are ways that we resist the presence of love. And so we have to be willing to look at that resistance in order to clear the path back to the presence of the universe within us, everybody with me on that?

So I don’t have to give you more lessons because now you’ve got chapter one and two, which are going to take you through it. So when you think you’ve surrendered, surrender, some more. Take that in, this is actually my favorite chapter in the book. I took some of my favorite stories from the book and that’s what’s in here.

I shared this story publicly in New York City at my crazy sexy miracles event last year with Kris Carr. And now I’m going to share the full circle moment. So at the same time that I started writing the book. The same time that I started writing The Universe Has Your Back. I also, you know, I had the plan of like, get the book done in time.

It’s going to be early. We’re going to submit it. And at the same time I had another vision in my mind, I had a goal. I had an objective. I knew it was going to happen exactly as I expected. And I had the whole plan and the plan was to make a baby. It was the perfect plan. I was going to get pregnant. I was going to write the book.

I was gonna have the baby, the book was going to come out. I was going to be perfectly lined up for the book to come out like three months after the baby was born, I was gonna have like the best nanny ever. It was all be perfect. And I had the intention, I started to do what we do to make a baby and I wasn’t getting pregnant.

Month after month, I would get my period. And I would start counting nine months ahead saying, okay, well, how can I move this around? And how can I change this around? Because this is coming. And I got to make sure that it’s all lined up properly and I would cancel events and, and shift around my travel. And I was just saying, okay, you know, I’m, I’m going to try to still can play God because I want to be God.

And this is going to happen on my time and month after month, it didn’t happen. Fast forward to December 31st, 2015. It’s new year’s eve. I’m at a party with my college friends who all live all around the world. So I hadn’t seen them in a while. And all of them have children that are about two years old.

Little kids are all running around the house and I’m preparing for this dinner and I’m hanging out. And I, I see these little kids running around and I’m looking at my husband and I’m thinking I’m behind. I’m not getting pregnant. Everybody has their kids. Their kids are two they’re moving on to their second kid.

I’m completely behind. I’m not part of this. I feel like I’m, I’m not good enough. Is there something wrong with me? And I’m feeling this very silent shame that only women in that situation know what I mean. And if you are in that situation or have been, my heart goes out to you.

And I feel that discomfort and I just kind of push it down. I wake up on new year’s day and I got my period. And so here I was a full year and this intention that I had, this vision that I had didn’t happen. It didn’t happen the way that I expected it to happen. It didn’t happen in the time that I had anticipated. And I woke up and I was upset and I was angry.

And then my friend Jordan who’s here tonight was at my house and he’s like, honey, what’s wrong? And I just, I looked at him and I was like, ah, you know, this is what’s up. This is what’s up. And he said, you know, he’s really talked me off the ledge. And he reminded me that I was not really looking at this from a very spiritual place and I wasn’t allowing and that I had been really trying to control and I excused myself.

And I said, let me go sit with this. Let me go meditate on this. And I sat in my meditation and I heard my inner wisdom say your plans are in the way of God’s plans. Get out of the way. Your plans are in the way of God’s plans.
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And that day I channeled what is the best chapter in the book. When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more. And I took myself on the path of spiritual surrender.

I took myself on the path of spiritual surrender and I used and applied the principles that I channeled in the book to my own life so that I could feel that release. And I could feel that connection. The first step to spiritual surrender, take your hands off the wheel. The universe cannot take from you what you will not give.

The universe cannot take from you what you will not give away. So take your hands off the wheel through prayer, through intention, through meditation, through coming even to places like this, even evenings, like this can remind you to just take your hands off the wheel. And a lot of times people say, you know, just surrender, like just let it go.

And you’re like, how the fuck do I let it go? That’s why I wrote this chapter. I wrote this chapter because it’s too often that we just throw those words around, let it go. How about here’s the plan? Let’s let it go this way. Here’s the plan. So take your hands off the wheel through prayer, that prayer, that prayer can be simple.

This book is filled with prayers. I actually think one of my special skills. It should be in my bio: prayer giver. I told people that if they show me their shelfie, I’ll intuit a prayer for them on their Instagram. So just show me your pictures of your shelfies. I’m going to go on all of them and I’m going to give you my own prayer.

And if I don’t get to you, you can stalk me on the cyber-stalking and I will do it. So, so there’s all these prayers. And so one of the simplest prayers is, thank you universe for taking this from me. Re-interpreting this for me. I surrender. And so it started to just get into that daily prayer practice. Thank you for taking this from me.

Thank you. Thank you for reinterpreting this for me. I surrender. Just offering it up, giving it up saying thank you. Take it. The second step in the spiritual surrender process is to turn over times and turn over outcomes. So one of the issues I was coming up against was this issue of, I need to have a baby at this time.

Right. Or it needs to be in this way. And it has to happen before the book comes out. So the book would be there and everything could be the way I want it to be, but that control and that manipulation was in the way of God’s. That control and that manipulation was in the way of God’s plan. And so here I was, and I had no choice, but to offer it up and give it over.

But most importantly, to turn over the time and turn over the outcome, I found that the simplest way to turn over the outcome was to focus on what was thriving in my life, rather than focusing on what I thought I needed, focusing on what I already had. So rather than being like, I I’m left out, I don’t have a child.

I’m not in the same place as my friends. I started focusing on, I have an amazing husband who shows up for me, who loves me. I have an opportunity to get grounded in this relationship as we build a business together. I have a beautiful, beautiful divine holy relationship that I want to put my love, my intention and my energy into; I have friendships that are thriving.

I have a business and a career that is booming, and I got a book baby that’s coming out soon. So I started to focus on what I had thriving in my life and in the focusing of the thriving, I released and I let go of that outcome and that need to get somewhere. And I was very happy right here. And that’s the simplest way to get into the now is to just focus on what you do, got, focus on what is in front of you, focus on what is working and let go of time and let go of outcomes.

And then there’s more steps to spiritual surrender, but I could only share three tonight. So the other step that I shared tonight is when you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more. I continued to practice the principles of the spiritual surrender. I had a meditation that I channeled for this chapter.

That’s in there, a spiritual meditation for spiritual surrender, and I practiced taking my hands off the wheel, turning over time, meditating, getting into the daily practice of the spiritual surrender, giving it up, giving it up, giving it up.

And in the experience of giving it up, a lot came up. More came up. More was revealed, more needed to be healed, and more came to the surface so that I could see in my life what was in front of me. And in that experience of all of that came up and all that was offered up, I had a full circle moment.

I learned through my practice of spiritual surrender that I couldn’t be a mother until I learned how to mother myself. Had I not let myself off the hook through surrender, I would never have given myself the divine opportunity that I have had now for the last six months, which is to be the greatest kindest, most gentle mother I could be to myself.

With that understanding and that knowing, I’ll be a fabulous mother to the being of light that wants to come through me. So, these are just three of the steps in the practice of spiritual surrender, but it’s one of my favorite chapters in the book. And I’m so excited for you to have it.

Another step that I want to share tonight, obstacles are detours in the right direction. Many of you heard me say this before. It’s like a, it’s like a, it’s like a theme song for me. Obstacles are detours in the right direction. Obstacles are detours in the right direction. So at the same time that I’m trying to have a baby, write the book doing all this stuff, my husband retires from his job of 10 years in private equity to come run my business.

And while that has turned into one of the most amazing things in the world, I mean, I truly mean it. It has been the most profound relationship ever. It was tough. At first, it’s tough for somebody to walk away from what they know and to step into this new way of being, it was like an interesting transition, like all transitions are.

And so we were going back and forth about a lot of stuff that was up, and we were kind of struggling and getting, you know, a little bit, you know, quick to just, just jump into a fight pretty quickly at that time. And around this time, when things were just feeling very disconnected, we, we, we had to take a cab uptown to, to a meeting.

We hop in the cab, we, we start, you know, riffing back and forth about some issue that we’re having or some kind of design thing that we were not agreeing on or whatever was up that day. And we’re in the car and it’s just going to heated and it’s getting nasty and it’s not connected. It’s feeling like, oh, here we are again, here we are again.

And I said to myself, very silently universe, take this from me, reorganize this and reinterpret this. We need a miracle right now. So I offered it up very quickly. I started to feel the prayer and action. I started to feel my husband’s energy just released. I felt myself let it off the hook. I started to feel more relaxed and at ease.

And in that experience of letting it go, we just kind of calmed down. We get out of the car, we go up to our meeting. The meeting ends. Everything’s feeling a little bit better. We go to the elevator to leave. We hit the elevator door. We’re like ready to go. And the elevator comes to me and say, you know what, honey?

I actually forgot. I have one more thing. I need to ask them. So I run back and I asked the accountants one more thing. And then I come back to him and we’re at the elevator and we press the elevator. We get in the elevator. We get down to the first floor and the elevator stops. Here I am between the first and second floors stuck in an elevator with my husband who is severely claustrophobic.

And I look at him and I’m like, oh shit. So we’re in the elevator for a few minutes and I’m picking up the phone and I’m like, get us out of here. And they’re like, we’ll be on it. Don’t worry. Somebody will be here soon. Now we know in New York City when they say someone will be here soon, they could be downtown and you are uptown and you are screwed.

Right. How the hell long is it going to take the elevator guy to get here? So I’m starting to sweat. My husband’s sweating and we’re just taking off our clothes. We’re dropping our bags. We’re kind of like losing it. And I start to get that place where I’m like, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, he’s claustrophobic.

I’m going to freak out. I don’t know how long this is going to be. And all of a sudden, my divine voice of wisdom says pray. So I say, thank you universe for helping us. Thank you. Thank you.

And I start to feel a little bit calmer because prayer is the medium for miracles and I’m feeling a little bit easier and a little bit more relaxed. And I start to just, you know, rub Zach’s shoulders and tickle his back and rub behind his ears. Like he likes. And I started talking to him about all the things he’s into like music and, and art and fashion.

And I’m like, yeah, honey, it’s so cool. We can do whatever you want in the kitchen. Anything that you want, sweetie. And I’m just rubbing his back and tickling his shoulders. And he’s calming down. Like he’s kinda like cool, 20 minutes go by, rubbing his shoulders, looking at the clock, you know, Hey guys, what’s going on?

And 20 minutes go by 30 minutes. Go by. He’s pretty cool. He’s pretty cool. 40 minutes go by. And we’re no longer very cool. I used to calling down like what is going on? We need a miracle. I started praying to the angels. Archangel, Michael, get me the fuck out of this elevator.

Within a few minutes of that prayer, I start hearing the jiggering outside the elevator. I start like, okay, we’re going to get out. We’re going to get out. And five minutes later, the elevator doors opened up. My husband and I crawl out of the elevator. We fall into the lobby, like literally like five feet down into the lobby where there’s like thousands of people coming back from lunch.

Watching us like sweating, fall into the lobby. My husband picked up his phone and he looks at his phone as we land and grab each other’s hands. And he says it’s one 11. And so if you’re familiar with what happens when you see numbers in sequence, that’s a beautiful sign that the universe has your back. It’s a sign that you are aligned, that your guidance is around you.

And we fell out of that elevator at one 11. In that moment, I looked at my husband, I embraced him. We held each other and I thought to myself, this obstacle was a detour in the right direction. This obstacle shed all of our worldly expectations of each other. It cleared the path, it dissolved the boundaries with love.

And in this moment we were reconnected. We were reunited. We were back together and I was giving him everything that he wanted. Honestly, ladies, all men want is for you to give them love and attention, tickle their neck. The man whisperer. They just want to be loved. And that’s all my husband wanted. He just wanted my attention.

He wanted my love and the universe had a plan that day that was far better than mine. So there’s many moments in our life when we can start to perceive obstacles as detours in the right direction. What if you chose today to see the obstacle of a diagnosis as an opportunity to get closer to God? Or an obstacle of a relationship falling apart as the divine moment in time when you can accept that you need to heal your co-dependent patterns once and for all?

Or an obstacle of losing a job as an opportunity to step into that entrepreneurial venture, that you’ve always longed to be in? Many people when they lose their jobs, I say, congratulations, the universe has your back.

Because it’s a detour in the right direction. Can you take that home tonight and begin to look at your life and look at the obstacles and start to say to yourself, I choose to see this differently. I choose to see this as a detour in the right direction. Sometimes it might be so difficult and so hard, but in those moments where it’s most difficult and hard, the real detour is that it’s an opportunity to hit your knees and surrender. Obstacles are detours in the right direction.

The final step is to trust that the universe has your back trust, that the universe has your back, get into the know, get into the truth, get into what that means for you. So the last step that I wanted to share with you tonight is to know that the universe has your back; to know that the universe has your back.

And what’s happened to me in the last few months as we’re leading up to this launch of this book, is that as a result of having the willingness to hit bottom this last year and allow myself to just let this last year of writing this book and preparing for this book launch to be one of the most difficult times in my life and just surrendering fully and completely to what that meant to me and releasing the need to try to control it and just saying, show me what you’ve got.

Stripping away one day at a time, stripping away all of the pretenses, stripping away, all of the guilt, all of the shame, stripping away, all of the judgment that I had placed upon myself, the judgment that I’d placed upon the world, stripping away in the experience of allowing that letting go being in the practices of this book.

I have returned to that connection. I have returned to what I find to be the most profound relationship in the world. I have remembered and reconnected to the presence of love within me. I am owning my faith statement, which is something I write about in the book that the universe is an ever-present energy of love that is within you and around you guiding you and supporting you.

And in that presence of that love, anything is possible in the presence of that love. You can move mountains in the presence of that light. You can heal your trauma, in the presence of that love, you can heal your divorce, you can heal your split up. You can heal your cancer, you can heal your wounds. You can transcend limitation.

You can see death as an opportunity to get closer to a divine lover. You can get closer to God in every obstacle. Because in that, knowing in that connection, you’re finally free. But I wrote this book for me. I wrote this book because I needed it. I needed to heal. I needed to wake up. I needed to get more connected and I needed to ground myself in the truth of what is real.

And while I wrote it for myself, of course, it’s yours because in my stories and in my healing, you will recognize your own.

Are you ready? Are you willing to go deep? Are you willing to heal? What’s up? Yeah, let’s do it. Now. Take a deep breath in and hold that breath feeling that sense of relief and on the exhale, release.

And take another deep, deep breath in knowing, knowing in this moment you have let it go.

And on the exhale release, breathing long and deep, knowing that in this offering in this surrender, you have offered a well, you have been holding on. You have released what you think you need to control.

You have welcomed in a presence far greater than you to show you where to go and what to do and what to say.

And you can always know that the universe has your back.

Take one last deep breath in and release.

And when you’re ready, open your eyes.

So whether you realize it or not, you’ve offered it up. You’ve given it up. You’ve surrendered. Coming together in a shared community like this in the offering of what we want to let go of is a profound movement. So expect many miracles to occur in your life as a result of giving it away.

Take that in. Honor what that means to you. Take this book with you feel what this book means to you. Let this book transform you, let it hold you, let it protect you, let it guide you.

Let it give you the opportunity to reconnect with the truth of who you are. It is a privilege to be your teacher. It is a privilege to write these books and it is a privilege to have you as my readers.

Thank you so very much. Thank you.

If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you’re truly committed to miracles. I’m really proud of you. If you want to get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me.

So I really want to welcome you to leave an honest review. And you can follow me on social media @Gabby Bernstein. And if you want to get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby’d live at deargabby.com. See you next week.

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