I get asked this all the time: how do I know if my angels are even trying to reach me? Maybe you’ve prayed for a sign. Maybe you’ve asked for a miracle and heard nothing back. If that’s you, I want you to know you’re in the right place, because learning how to connect with your angels isn’t about being gifted or special. It’s about frequency.
This week on Dear Guides, I sat down with my dear friend Kyle Gray, one of the world’s leading angel experts. Kyle has spent years teaching people exactly how he connects with angels, and in this episode he reminds us that we are always guided and supported by our team of angels.
If any part of you doubts you have angels you can call on, this conversation will change that.
You Don’t Have to Be Gifted to Hear Your Angels
You don’t have to be gifted to connect with your angels, it is something that is available to all of us, all of the time.
Most of us grew up with the idea that angels live somewhere far away in heaven and that we have to send our prayers up and out to reach them, but Kyle shared that heaven isn’t somewhere else—it’s all around us, meaning the angels aren’t the ones who need to arrive, we are.
What Is an Angel, Exactly?
I asked Kyle directly, because I think a lot of people are curious about angels but don’t know quite what they are. His answer stayed with me.
“Angels are the heartbeats of God.”
Kyle described an angel as divine love in a personal form. If you believe in a higher power, or simply in the universe, imagine that power as one enormous heart. Every beat of that heart is an angel, reaching out to you in a way that feels personal. An angel isn’t separate from that love. It’s an extension of it.
That’s why Kyle speaks to angels rather than going straight to God. Every time we connect with an angel, we’re in direct communion with the heart of God. There’s no separation between them
The Difference Between a Spirit Guide and an Angel
People ask me this constantly, so I made sure to ask Kyle directly. He shared that a spirit guide is generally a being who has lived a physical life on earth. An angel, in most cases, has not had a physical incarnation.
The angels’ ultimate purpose, Kyle told me, is to remind you of the love that you are and the love you’ve come from, and ultimately, the love you’ve never left.
Can a Baby or Child Who Passed Become an Angel?
This part of our conversation is personal for me. I lost a late-term pregnancy, and my son Owen is someone I feel with me often. Kyle explained that children and babies who don’t get to live a full life on earth can become angels, because they don’t carry ego or material attachment. They come from love, and they return to love.
Kyle also shared a story from his time seeing private clients in Glasgow. A woman walked into his office, and he saw two angels standing beside her. One of them, he sensed, was her daughter. When he asked if she’d had a daughter who didn’t make it the full way, she said yes, a stillbirth, and showed him a photo of the headstone with the words “my angel” engraved on it. Even though she experienced a profound loss, her daughter joined her journey in spiritual form and became her angel.
If you’ve lost a child, to miscarriage, stillbirth, or any kind of loss too early, I want you to know that the spiritual lens is often the only lens that lets us survive those moments. These children can become our angel guides.
Why You Might Be Blocking Your Angels Without Knowing It
Here’s something I think a lot of people need to hear. If you feel blocked from your angels, it’s rarely because they’re not there. It’s usually because a part of you doesn’t feel worthy of the love they bring.
Kyle told me about a woman he met at a talk in Toronto. She came from a religious background and told him she’d always felt repulsed by the idea of angels. When he asked her why, the answer that came through was direct: she wasn’t ready for the love angels bring. Once she started seeing herself differently and peeling away the shame she carried, the angels were able to come through.
Most of us carry some version of that shame, whether it’s about choices we’ve made or stages of our life we wish had gone differently. The angels meet us exactly there. They love the parts of us we’re most afraid to show, and they’re ready the moment we’re willing to be seen.
The 4 Frequencies That Attract Angels
Kyle explained that we can connect with angels through prayer or invitation, but there’s a faster way. If we match the same vibration as angels, we attract them, rather than having to ask them into our lives. He calls these the four frequencies and writes about them in depth in his book Angels Are with You Now.
1. Authenticity
The first frequency is authenticity. The moment we own our truth, the angels come in.
That truth doesn’t have to feel positive. It can be messy, uncomfortable, or something you’ve been avoiding saying out loud. Angels love truth because truth is what they emanate from. The moment you’re honest in a relationship, or you finally tell your boss that a workload isn’t sustainable, your angels rally around you.
2. Service
The second frequency is service. Any act of service, no matter how small, magnetizes angels toward you.
This isn’t about grand gestures. It can be as simple as asking someone on the bus how their day is going, or noticing someone who usually gets walked past and offering them a smile. Angels give without ever looking to receive something back, so any time you do the same, you match their frequency exactly.
3. Devotion
The third frequency is devotion. This can look like prayer, gratitude, worship, or any music that opens your heart. Kyle told me he’s felt angels everywhere he’s encountered devotion, in Islamic music playing through a home in Bahrain, in Christian churches, in Hindu temples in India, and in Kundalini chanting. The tradition doesn’t matter. What matters is the sincerity behind it.
If you don’t already have one, Kyle suggests creating a small altar in your home. It doesn’t need much space. A few photos of loved ones, a favorite crystal, a written intention or prayer is enough.
4. Love
The fourth frequency is love, specifically the unconditional kind. This is the love that shows up when you look into your child’s eyes, it’s the love that holds someone exactly as they are, not as you wish they’d be.
Kyle shared a story about a woman who once asked him if she was going to hell for something she’d done. He told me the angels loved her without condition, regardless of what she’d done. When we can access that same unconditional love and offer it to others, angels move closer to us.
“The moment we own our truth, the angels come in.”
What to Do When Life Is Lowering Your Vibration
I asked Kyle something practical. What do you do when a person, a situation, or a circumstance is actively lowering your vibration?
His answer surprised me. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is lament. Let yourself say, out loud or in prayer, that you don’t know how to get through this and you need help. We spend so much energy trying to stay positive that we deny ourselves the full range of human emotion, whether that’s sadness, anger, or overwhelm.
Kyle said something I won’t forget: when we let our real emotions move through us, we allow our angels to witness us in our truest form. That’s authenticity again, showing up in a harder moment.
He also told me he always recommends therapy, because when you’re in that room doing the work, your angels are right there with you.
“There are graces available to you that you have not yet asked for.”
Kyle shared that this phrase kept coming to him on his way to record the episode. So many of us are fixated on one specific outcome that we miss the fact that there are graces in our life we haven’t even thought to ask for. If nothing else lands for you today, let this be the line you carry with you.
The “My Angel” Practice: A Simple Way to Call Them In
Before we closed the episode, Kyle offered one practice he considers the most important thing he shared all day. It’s just two words: my angel.
You don’t need to know your angel’s name. You don’t need to see or hear them. Simply thinking or saying “my angel” is enough to call them in.
Here’s how Kyle walked me through it on the show:
- Rub your palms together to build a little energy.
- Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly.
- Take a deep breath in, then let it all go.
- Repeat silently or out loud: I call upon the presence of my angel. My angel.
- Breathe in again, and exhale fully.
- Repeat: I am willing to experience the presence of my angel. My angel.
- One more breath in, and let it go.
- Finish with: I’m willing to feel the presence of my angel. My angel.
You don’t have to see or hear your angel to know they’re there. Instead, allow yourself to feel them, as a sense of warmth, a tingle, or simply a presence with you.
Resources
I recommend Kyle’s book Angels Are with You Now and card deck Angelic Activations Oracle.
You can learn more about Kyle’s work here.
You might also like my book The Universe Has Your Back.
Want to go deeper? Join me for Dear Guides Live on Nov 21 in NYC for a day dedicated to connecting to your angels and spirit guides. Get all the details here.
Get my free meditation to connect with your spirit guides
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a spirit guide and an angel? A spirit guide is generally understood to be a being who has lived a physical life on earth, while an angel, in most cases, has not had a physical incarnation. Both can support and guide you.
How do I know if my angels are trying to reach me? Common signs include repeatedly seeing feathers, numbers, or symbols, feeling an unexplained sense of presence or warmth, or noticing a nudge toward a specific action. These are often the angels’ way of saying they want to be a bigger part of your life.
Can the soul of someone who died, including a baby, become an angel? Some believe that a soul who did not complete a full physical life, including a baby lost to miscarriage or stillbirth, can become an angel because they return to love without ego or material attachment. This is a matter of spiritual belief rather than a claim that can be verified.
What are the four frequencies that attract angels? According to angel expert Kyle Gray, the four frequencies are authenticity, service, devotion, and love. Matching your own energy to these frequencies is described as a way to draw angels closer, rather than needing to ask or pray for them.
What blocks people from connecting with their angels? A common block is not feeling worthy of unconditional love. Shame and self-judgment can create distance, and working through those layers is often described as what allows the connection to open.
How do you invoke your angels or call them in? One simple practice from angel expert Kyle Gray, is to silently or quietly repeat the phrase “my angel” while placing a hand on your heart and belly, taking a few deep breaths, and allowing yourself to feel a presence rather than needing to see or hear it.
What should I do if my vibration feels low right now? Rather than forcing positivity, it can help to let the real emotion move through you, whether that’s sadness, anger, or overwhelm. Being fully authentic in that feeling, including with the support of a therapist, is described as one of the fastest ways to let angels back in.
About Gabby
Gabrielle Bernstein is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, motivational speaker, and host of the Dear Guides podcast. She has spent more than two decades helping people heal, connect with a power greater than themselves, and recognize the love that’s been guiding them all along.