You Gotta Want it!

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Hi Spirit Junkies!

If you desire radical change in your life you must WANT radical change. In today’s vlog I riff about the importance of surrendering to our desire for change. If you don’t truly want to change then you’ll continue to stay in the same cycle. I encourage you to join me in the ego outing process and share a habit you’ve had trouble changing. Getting honest is the first step to true surrender.

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  1. LOVE THIS….I love how you protected what I am “working on”. So you were not GOSSIPING about me in your vlog. I had my rubber bands all set last night and literally didn’t say a word at dinner. I sat and listened to people talk about normal topics of life and not about other people. It was a snooze. And I was about to call my boyfriend after to tell him what a boring dinner I had and thought, “But then is that gossiping about the people I was just with”.

  2. I haven’t been able to give up caffiene either. If I ignore the coffee & soda, I’ll end up having caffeinated tea in the afternoon. Right now I’m doing good with the big stuff, but I’m still in the “pink cloud.” I thank you so much for your honesty and for preparing us for what I think of as “spiritual hangovers” that might happen in the future. Your tools are invaluable.

  3. Hi Gabby,

    I just watched your VLOG and it truly struck a cord with me. I have been a smoker for about 12 years now and I have been yo-yo quitting for about as long. My intention will start off well and then for some reason or another I would start up again. Now I can be honest with why… I don’t truly want to. I know it needs to happen (for various reasons) I am just not ready to surrender yet. This is not a justification for my vice.. I just realize now the place I need to be in order to see true change.

    I just wanted to share my truth. Thank you for your light and insight.


  4. Love this, Gabby! Thank you! I can feel that this is going to lead to some breakthroughs! Thanks for helping me to check in with myself and be honest and real.

    p.s. Did you get highlights? Your hair looks great! πŸ™‚

  5. Love this Gabby! I am soooo with you on letting go and wanting to make change! My pattern is attracting men in my life who are controlling and don’t treat me with honor and sacredness. I am truly working on changing this pattern and affirming self love and honoring myself and I’m willing to let go of this destructive pattern. Thanks so much for your support and authenticity! And your hair and make up look beautiful!! πŸ™‚ Xoxo ~Ariel

  6. Great video! Thank you. So so true…
    For my part I want to get really healthy, healthier everyday, like full of light and energy! I do really want it and I am ready to do whatever I can to achieve it! And I know I am getting closer everyday, I will keep praying.

  7. Hi Gabby, thanks again for a great vlog post. I attended your lecture online this past Friday. Although I completely agree with you that any thanks we have regarding changes we make to improve our connection and align with our truth should be to ourselves for doing the work…I wanted to express a MASSIVE THANK YOU and HUG for speaking your truth. In speaking your truth you are igniting a spark in others that guides them to shine their light brightly. Reading your book Spirit Junkie has transformed how I feel and it has been your story and the way you have told it that has finally helped me to make sense of things that until now seemed lost. The clarity that I received was groundbreaking.
    Thanks for putting it all out there as we all have no idea of the incredible potential our own stories can impact others around us.
    Blessings, Nicole

  8. Thank you Gabby for this vlog. Just this morning in my meditation I asked for guidance in releasing my bad habits. I really want to eat healtier and stop smoking. I’ve been saying this for awhile but continue to relapse. This morning I really prayed for help. I felt an internal switch go off that finally made me feel like I want to make this change. I will continue to release my desires during my meditations for the next 30 days and let the universe do her thing . I have a feeling this time it will stick. I will keep you posted on my recovery.

  9. Hi Gabby,
    I love this vlog- it left me crying. Strange, but true. I’m overcoming and working on self-love which is truly at the heart of the things I do that are addictive. I know this is something I am building for myself. Thanks for continuing your work. xoxo

  10. HI Gabby!
    I was at the Experience Life Lecture and it was such an eye opening experience to listen to other people share their truths. I had never been in a group like that and it was invaluable. I listened to your vlog and I wanted to sort of out myself on what I’ve been struggling to give up. I’m committing myself to giving up treating my children and husband (amazing spirits in my life) like a job. All of the structure and expectation that I experience at my job, I project onto these glorious beings in my life. This means that I have to look closer at why I set such high expectations on people around me and on myself. I do know that by giving this up I will arrive in a better place and can honor my children, husband, and myself more. Thank you for your message-I’m ready to move forward.

  11. You hair looks especially beautiful today Gabby! Wow! This realization just blew me away. That’s so true! Change will not come if you really don’t want it; you just won’t be in the place that change is possible.

    I know my “relationship” with coffee for me is something I really enjoy! I usually have no more than 2 cups a day. Most of the time I only have one. But that time I sit with my coffee in the morning and do things like write on HerFuture πŸ™‚ It is a reflective time and I cherish it!

    Now this is the embarrassing part where I out my truth. Since I was a little girl I picked at my skin. I would bite and rip at the skin around my finger nails until they would bleed. As I got older it moved to damaging my face. I have gotten soooo much better! I know longer sit on the counter top, leaned into the mirror and tear apart my face because of the inner turmoil I’ve had. Though I am not 100% better and still pick at myself on occasion, I’ve reflected alot and identified why I do this. I keep working on choosing love and being better! When I see others that pick (it takes one to know one!) I feel so much compassion for them.


  12. hi Gabby,

    I have recently been blessed with finding your website and your vlogs. I am so GRATEFUL. I saw a clip of you TED talk and I felt so much relation and inspiration. I am newly sober. I have almost 8 months. My life already has changed immensely as I am beginning to trust in my HP and to feel there is a loving all powerful energy out there that keeps me safe.
    This weeks topic of change came to me in perfect time as I have been thinking about this over the past week or so. I have quite a big fear of people. I have some PTSD from some childhood stuff and I now believe I am addicted to holding onto this stuff. I can’t speak in front of people which makes it really difficult to attend meetings etc. I am also highly afraid of intimacy with others so I keep people at a distance and have a hard time letting people know me. I WANT to move beyond and change my fear of people and expressing myself in front of and with people but I also feel I am holding onto it as a part of me believes it is still serving me. For example I saw you are doing a live coaching seminar in NYC and then I saw that you were doing it also as a live stream via internet. My mind went straight to I would rather do the internet as I am too afraid to attend the live seminar with live people!
    I look forward to learning more from you.


  13. Thank you for this Gabby. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person with vices, so it is nice to be reminded that even spiritual leaders like yourself have them too. My vice is definitely food and I have been up and down with it for awhile now. The truth is though that I’m not ready to change it. It was a relief to find that out because it allowed me to stop beating myself up and accept where I am at and understand that that is why I haven’t been able to change it.

  14. I was listening to your vlog as I walked to make my 2nd cup of coffee within 4 hours. I’m trying to cut down on coffee as well, my office is cold and I simply figured I would make coffee to warm myself up and then from listening to ur vlog I remember it was a choice. So, I opted for tea instead and light sugar (phew, close call … glad I listened to ur vlog). I want to minimize my coffee and sugar intake. I will. I am πŸ™‚ Thanks Gabby for the reminder!!!

  15. Just what I needed to hear today! I’ve been dragging my feet and sitting in fear for a career change and I NEED to start working on it NOW because the time will come soon when I will be in a position to make changes.

    I surrender to the desire to wallow in the past and stay emotionally tied to things that I have a history with but no longer define me. I want a better life. My current life is OK and not “bad” which is what keeps me stuck because it’s not “terrible”. But “OK” is not really living. So despite my great fear of making a mistake, I MUST move FORWARD because LIFE is moving forward, even if I’m not.

    Wow. I feel better. Thanks!
    Love & Light,

  16. Gabby, I want to tell you how very grateful I am for your words, your breakdown of ACIM….it has awakened my soul! I have been struggling so long with my ego that I almost gave up. The space that you’ve created to share your light and let others light shine is an inspiration. Rock on girl….you radiate!! πŸ™‚

  17. AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH! This was right on with my struggles today! Sugar, junk-food and binge eating! And I’m on Day 1 for the umpteenth time of letting go of these vices. They sap my energy, cause awful symptoms like reflux, congestion, puffy eyes, nausea, etc. You’d think I’d be able to let go with those symptoms and more, but I still end up giving into cravings. I’ve given up these foods in the past and have felt amazing, but somehow I always end up here again and it can be so debilitating to end up at square one again because you feel like such a failure. I’m guessing that each time I am stronger in the sense that I know I can do it because I’ve done it before. Unfortunately, it resonates with me what you said about “having to get dark” before we truly make the change. This time I want to tackle this before my health is spiraling out of control. I want to take charge! (But then I do hear the ego saying, “Oh, a couple cookies won’t hurt you…”) Today I will focus on patience with myself and forgiveness. And loving myself through this difficult time. XOXO
    Thank you for sharing, Gabby and everyone else! And as always, you look gorgeous, Gabby!

    1. Hi Erin,

      I struggle with the same issue of binge eating. I would say this is a lot better than binge drinking which is what I used to do until I became sober over two years ago now. Binge eating is not only unhealthy for our bodies, but also for our minds. Healthy foods keeps our mind clean of preservatives and processed goods. My advice to you is ask yourself before you decide to purchase it or eat it if it will benefit you in any way. That’s How i would look at alcohol. With alcohol, the negative out weighed the positives for me. I would be hungover/sick, spend lots of money on drinks, make a fool of myself, and worst of all – have regret. This can also apply to eating junk food because the pleasure of eating it or knowing that you will eat it is very short compared to the amount of time it takes for our bodies to rid that food and fat. I love all the posts, and I welcome replies!!! THank you so much for sharing

  18. Thanks, Gabby! This is good stuff. My stuggle at the moment is somewhat different, not something I want to give up, but a role that I want to step into that is really big, really scary. And I do want it, I do want the change, yet I feel myself procrastinating and withdrawing at times. I’m taking your advice to surrender the outcome and remind myself that I can only do what I can do, then the rest is in God’s hands.

  19. Thank you Gabby!

    What a beautiful reminder. It has been coming to my consciousness lately that there is a part of me that enjoys the darkness, that feels there is a profoundness in the suffering and pain. And when I am in that place I don’t have to shine my light, I don’t have to acknowledge my own power- it’s alright to be small and afraid. I humbly accept that I feel these things and I choose something else instead.

    My own struggle has been with bulimia for the past 6 years, and I’m outing it here and now. My mind and spirit and life have transformed through the work I’ve done, and yet the behavior still remains. I am willing. I surrender. I deeply and humbly ask for the guidance and help of my inner guide and all those beings here with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I say yes! and thank you πŸ™‚

    love and light,

  20. Dear Gabby,
    Recently I had a vision of one of my artistic projects really expanding, touching lives, and taking off in joyous ways. Some where after that vision, I got scared and stuck… in doing nothing to nurture this project. Your vlog this am about “gotta want it” is so true. When I do open myself up and projects up to Creator, they just flow and expand. I am seeing that the second part of this is me being ready and in a position of ” wanting” the success and joy this all may bring. This is the part I am struggling with. I am used to not having a level of artistic success I deserve and happiness in life therefore when it shows up ready banging on my door…I have not known what to do. This to me is about deciding and wanting. It is about letting go of old patterns. It is about rearranging and surrerndering those fibers inside….here I may be powerless and “addicted” to old patterns. Here is where, thanks Gabby, for the reminder, that I open up to Creator and ask that he show me the way in letting go of those old ways of being….and to please help me, Creator, get out of the way of my own success and happiness.
    Thank you Gabby for this reminder, what you are modeling and for speaking it all in a language I can understand. thank you Creator for flowing through the beautiful Gabby!

  21. Thanks so much for this enlightening message today Gabby! My vice is SUGAR. Recently I have developed noticeable health issues surrounding this vice (high insulin levels, skin problems) that have finally motivated me to change – and I feel SO MUCH better when I don’t have refined sugar. This has also lead me to seek out a lot of healthy recipes that I love experimenting with! I’ve noticed that when I’m in times of distress, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual pain, this is when I grow the most. It’s like the Divine’s way of nudging me towards my highest good. πŸ™‚

  22. Wow Gabby this is just great! Thank you so much. I’ve been involved with a guy for almost 3 years who has major issues around womanizing…it’s been heartbreaking because at one time we committed to being exclusive and then he couldn’t sustain it and for the last 7 months since we broke up i’ve been a wreck–I’ve been trying to rescue him from his ego and haven’t been able to let go. Now I am finally feeling myself heal enough to stop the games and unhook his fingers from around my heart (for he hasn’t let me go either, has tried to rope me in to being part of his current “harem”). It’s been a nightmare…I thought he was my soul mate and the love of my life. I’m finally getting back to loving myself. I HAD TO WANT TO LET GO. Very tough stuff. I’ve prayed every day for months. Now I won’t answer his texts, I am strong, I’m meeting new men who are wonderful. There is light once again in my life. YAY! Your books have helped me SO have no idea. Thank you from the bottom of my healing heart. I love you!

  23. Gabby,
    You looked beautiful and I love love love the new title of your book! Awesome.
    OK coming clean – I say I do want to find a loving relationship – but I’m very aware of how much I love my independence. And I fear losing it. Intellectually I know the two can exist. I find a lot of comfort in my independence which I think keeps me away from opening up to a real relationship. I see it now as a protection. I don’t want to give up my independence is there a way to manage my addiction to it?
    xo Judith

  24. Thank you for the video clip Gabby and I throughly agree with you. I struggle with drinking too much wine at times. I have been with a fabulous group called Moderation Management since May of 2010 and it has changed my life. The bottom line is I am not ready or do I want to go completely sober because I do believe that for some they can relearn their thinking patterns when it comes to drinking. I used to drink 6 or 7 nights a week. Now I go 4 nights without it. I still have work to do in truly moderating but I’m getting there. I just sent your book Spirit Junkie to my sister who is in prison for 12 more years. She was addicted to crack and I have raved about your book to her.

  25. WHEN is the new book coming out!!!! I can hardly wait….thanks for this vlog, I AM to the point of realizing what needs to change… now for wanting and inviting the change and allowing the change to happen and showing up to do my part, right?!?!
    P.S. I am enjoying my yerba mate right now, all you coffee drinkers might like matcha green tea, as well.. tons of focus and better for you than coffee, I think… You know all this already, hahahah!
    In Love & Light…and Gratitude!

  26. Maybe you don’t need to give up coffee. Is it really such a terrible thing? Maybe it’s not a worthwhile example of “surrender.”

  27. Thank you for this Gabby! Your vlogs always bring me such clarity and peace. I cannot tell you how many times I have told people that my life changed when I read Spirit Junkie. I want everyone on the Spirit Junkie Train!

    I am codependent and I am addicted to people. All my life I have looked for other people to be my happiness, which eventually spirals me into depression. But for the last six months I have been meditating and soul searching to find my own self love. I know now that my only occupation is love! I still fall into bad habits of searching for fulfillment in my friends and relationships, but this year I am SO dedicated to creating relationships with a mutual flow of love and light. Thank you for changing my life Gabby!

  28. Thank you for your vlogs-“you gotta want it” was a message that I have been needing to hear for quite some time now. I feel my vices are a combination of ones that I have allowed to manifest into what I hear my ego telling me is my ilfe/truth etc. Not following my true -ing has led me into relationships that leave me empty, lost and always comparing ‘where I am’ to ‘where I should be’ in the sense of career, financially, friendships, family, health etc. I hate having this sense of ‘victim’ that has been established in my mind–thank you for making me realize I HAVE to surrender for change to happen! Thank you for the love & knowledge you share.


  29. Hi Gabby,

    I just started reading Adding More ~ing To Your Life and I plan on following up with Spirit Junkie. I actually discovered you on OpenSky, being totally honest, didn’t know who you were and found out more about you and your books. I was intrigued and immediately downloaded both your books to my Nook. I have been at a place where I am trying to change how I feel about my life and myself. Discovering you and your teachings seems to be just what I needed. Thank you πŸ™‚

    As for my vice it is eating too much and not exercising enough. I am really trying to work on getting in shape, not just because I want to look better but also because I want to feel better. I just need to focus on how much I want it. Thank you for this reminder.

  30. You know, I have cut down or reduced SO many things in life – but coffee, which I only discovered as an adult – is one I felt guilty about until….I stopped looking at it as a negative and started thinking of it as a positive – and now it’s a joy and a positive part of my life – NO guilt! I like coffeehouses (I don’t drink coffee at home), which means I’m employing local people who are serving a high-quality (and fair trade, organic, whenever possible; I’m in NYC so it’s easy) product that takes time and skill to make. I work at home, so it gives me a chance to get out of the house (and out of my pajamas) and sometime serves as a workout motivation (coffee after). No more than one double-shot a day. AND the health benefits outweigh the negatives, for my body. Sometimes I think we feel TOO guilty for things not worth being so concerned about and that leads to a lower quality of life than the actual thing we feel guilty about! It’s all about your attitude. My coffee is an almost-every-day (but not necessarily) joy that contributes to my health and overall well-being, and I give back to my community’s small businesses in the process. No guilt there!

    1. and a double shot of amen! a warm bevie is all those things to me as well. like to a T. ok maybe not the working out.. πŸ™‚

      and i truly believe that if you feel good and happy (no guilt) drinking a cup of coffee or having a cookie.. that it will contribute to your well being because it will raise you up to a higher vibration of happiness.

      moderation of course. πŸ™‚

  31. I was JUST reading “You Can Heal Your Life” last night, and the chapter spoke of willingness to change. As Louise suggested, I did some mirror work; repeating the phrase “I am willing to release all resistance” and then “I am willing to change”. I am beyond stoked that I woke up to receive reinforcement of my desire to change and absolutely necessary guidance in your vlog!
    Funny thing is, that sparked my curiosity, was that when I first said “I am willing to release all resistance” I could feel my ego saying “No, you like the attention you get from this person. It can’t be all that bad.” As I kept repeating the affirmation, this voice started to die away, but I still felt some hesitation. Now the work I will focus on is finding exactly what I want and how I want to change; being aware of the place I am in right now and accepting when I am/am not ready.
    Thank you for your Universe-sent vlog today. They always seem to answer my prayers and provide extremely poignant guidance.

  32. So true!!! Thank you for reminding me!! ps before you mentioned anything I was saying to myself I LOVE your hair and shirt. I want and desire both lol

  33. Thank you Gabby! This really helped today!
    Question on your hair since you mentioned it ;)….what do you do to get the curls to look like that?

  34. this is lovely thank you. it caused me to step back and really take a look at what i want to change and am i ready to get down on my knees (as i have had to before) and say.. i can’t do this alone,, i need help. i’m ready.

    and if we are being all neked and stuff,, then i’m gonna take off my pants and out myself for constantly turning to lack and poverty thinking. it’s hurting me and keeping me from giving my gifts and it does NOT benefit humanity.


  35. I have recently come to terms with a massive sugar addiction. It’s one of those things that I’ve always been aware of but never wanted to look at. As they say in the 12 steps, admitting you have a problem is the first step. I have only recently come to grips with the reality of my severe sugar dependency: for stimulation, comfort, energy, love, and the list goes on. I literally turn to food/sugar instead of God. This is a habit and dependency that I am working on wanting to truly surrender, just as you pointed at. I’m definitely getting there. My desire for FREEDOM from what I now can truly see as a chain weighing me down and offering false solace and “love” is growing the more I look at it honestly. At the same time, however, it seems necessary that in order to release these habits and addictions, it also necessary to release my judgement of them as good, bad, right, or wrong. In fact they are none of these. My sugar addiction is simply a misunderstanding of where my safety, hope, comfort, and love source lies. And with the release of judgement, these things seem to lose their power even more…

  36. Hi Gabby,

    Did you know you can add some sea salt into your coffee to help with the acidity?
    I also think a good question to ask youself is ” How is this coffee benifiting me and others?” because the benifits ie…your ability to focus, the energy, the emotional benifit may outweigh the any negative……I would also start thinking about how your “bad” coffee habit is actually really serving the world.
    This creates positive energy around coffee and makes it more benificial for your body mind and spirit!

  37. Thanks for the honesty! I’ve been struggling with releasing an unhealthy relationship from my life. Just this past Saturday I ended the relationship but am emotional about it. Seeing your video has reminded me of the importance of surrender & really keeping a firm commitment to myself & my truth which is what drove me to end the relationship. Thanks for being your wonderful inspiring Self!

  38. Gabby,
    I am some what “addicted” to a person in my life. I know my life would be so much more peaceful if I could let go. I want to let go. I’ll go 3 or 4 weeks with out contact but then I always fall back into the same routine. I watched your vlog and actually felt fear in my stomach when I realized even though I KNOW for my own peace I need to stop this addiction. I don’t think I really want to. Why? Why am I so scared to want or really desire something better and follow thru. Time and again I have tried to surrender, but after listening to you I’ve realized that I haven’t and I don’t know how…

  39. I loved this video blog. The hardest part for me when it comes to this is going back and forth between the wanting and not wanting. It doesn’t seem like everything is black and white. For example, I want to go out with my friends and have a good time and have a couple drinks but I don’t want to abuse this lifestyle either which I usually do. Same with unhealthy relationships, I know when something isn’t healthy and I should move on but it’s not all bad and there’s always the good times with that person as well as the bad. To find that balance do we have to rid ourselves of these things completely or just learn how to manage life with them? I’m in the middle of Spirit Junkie right now which is helping me so much but I’m struggling with not being able to let go of these addictions. Some days I want it more than anything in the world to rid myself of them and others it doesn’t seem so bad. Any advice?

  40. Something that’s been nagging me lately is trying to focus and visualize what it is that I want to attract, but at the same time being unable to stop thoughts creeping in that are along the lines of “except for-” or “but only if-“. You know, stipulations, just in case the universe doesn’t give me exactly what I (think I) want. This makes me think that I’m not ready for what I think I’m ready for. I think.

    Moral of the story is that I should probably put a few of these aspirations on the backburner, just for a while, and focus on refining what I already know that I want. While I do that, I’m sure that the universe will lob a couple lessons my way to help me in those areas I’m not too sure on. No sense energetically blocking myself from people and opportunities just because I don’t have faith that they’ll turn out just as I envision.

  41. Thanks so much for posting this! I really needed it. I’m wanting and praying to kick my addiction to spending, kick my addiction to material things and how I convince myself they make me feel. I’m praying to kick my addiction to financial lack and I’m praying to kick my addiction to my epic freak-outs over my financial lack! I’m also praying to anyone and anything that will hear me to kick my addiction to drama. I don’t need it! Phew….thanks for letting me get that off my chest! xoxo

  42. Loved that one today, because we are half way through the month and this is a time when it gets hard to stick to something you really want to let go of, give up, or even just change it for a while. Every Jan I give up alcohol. I don’t even drink that much, but I do enjoy my glass of wine at night… I wasn’t sure if I was really into doing it this Jan until I started and so many things shiffted for the better. I started having more time in a day, because at 5 Id have my wine and then chill out. I wake up more clear too. I hired a financial planner and now am going through financial boot camp- learning how to be a smart spender and saver( a first) I started my Tm practice again. I am totally dedicated to my business and getting it up and running. My spiritual life is on fire right now! I even got to meditate with Marianne Williamson, which was AMAZING! So , back to your point about really wanting something.. not so sure I really wanted to give up my glass of wine, but if my life keeps shaping up the way it has in just 16 days.. I think ill keep going!
    Thanks Gabby for all your inspiring words!

  43. At the start of October i had a scary episode of being sick and passing out on my lounge room floor. I hit my head against a wall as i fell and was very scared when i came to. This scare gave me the power to give up smoking weed which i had been abusing for 13 years. I have had a few relapses but have recently made a clean break because i now experience anxiety whenever i smoke. My bodies way of forcing me to see the truth! But i am now left with anxiety over being sick and feel a little panic every time i feel anything in my stomach. I thought i really wanted to get over this anxiety but my mind asks me every few hours “are you feeling anxious?” which often leads me to feel it… perhaps for some strange reason i am not ready to let go of the anxiety! Thanks for making me look even deeper to get to the bottom of this. I am so committed to change, and desire to be calm, strong and at peace with myself and the world. I’ll get there one step at a time. xo

  44. Thanks Gabby! I am really wanting to let go of my walk with anxiety and procrastination (which was a huge factor in my anxiety!). I’ve spent a lot of time not doing things because I didn’t think I could do it well enough or was smart enough etc. I don’t want to waste anymore time! I need more action and less thinking! Good luck with giving up coffee!

  45. Thank you, Gabby. My long-suffering habit is having too much love for men who are emotionally unavailable, and it’s destroying me. I feel as if my self-worth is at zero so often, and all I know how to do is cling to some hope that I can help/fix this man so that he’ll love me. Thank you for reminding me that it’s time again to get down on my knees and surrender this.

  46. Thank you for this blog with me it has been weight loss. Eating healthy and being consistent! But I guess I really haven’t been honest with my self, about what damage has been done by not doing anything! Thank you So its time to surrender my desire for not eating healthy!

  47. This video really hit a key issue in working through my struggles (everybody’s struggles, really). I loved the first step in admitting to myself that I do not want change yet.

    My question, and my challenge, is how do you get yourself to a point where you want that change? I want to want the change, but how do you bring yourself to truly and deeply want it?

    My thoughts as I try to explore that question myself are to keep reminding yourself of why you want it. The concept of telling your ego “thank you for your input, but I want something different now” is very helpful in that sense.

    I am wondering what your thoughts are, Gabby, or anyone else?

  48. Thanks for this vlog Gabby! Please tell us some more about your reason for wanting to give up coffee. I follow a very healthy vegan diet but really enjoy my one cup of coffee a day, be it caffeine or decaff. After watching your video i was reminded of how often i have tried to give up that one delicious treat, but with no success because i am not yet convinced that it has to go. It was very reassuring to read some of the comments that this might not be something i need to surrender, but I would love to know your thoughts.

  49. Thank you ugely Gabby for this today’s vlog,
    This Morning I woke up very flat and empty,disconnected from my Source,because of what I did yesterday,I took my Ego’s offered way and I gossiped about my boyfr and his parents to some other people,Its so dirty and made me so empty and dusty and clungy,uhhh,But I am grateful I can share this among these amazing women on this site,Gossiping its such slippery ego trick,It made me sick,but I am willing to move on and put my boundaries in order to be authentic and not disconnected from m y source ,

    Have a wonderful day all,
    I am going for a walk in the woods,as I feel I need,to eveparote and forgive myself for yesterday

  50. Great Vlog! So true! I’m passing this onto my best friend who has been trying to talk to a counselor about his deep rooted fears and illusions from his past that completely negatively affect his now, but his Ego keeps feeding him excuses as to why he cannot make the time to go… perfect timing!

  51. Gabby, I got such a kick out of this and it is so true! Having done a lot of this work, I so agree with you. We have to be fierce for change! And once we get the hang of it, it can be SO juicy! So my fierceness honors your fierceness:) And congrats on Hay House! And good luck with coffee:)

  52. When you out it to others you make the commitment to change. Here, here. I am finally honest with my family that they have unfairly let me carry the sole responsibility of caring for dad and that I can’t handle things financially any more. I have also been honest with myself and accepted I have take on too much at-risk youth work for too little pay. Despite financial fears, I can feel a new sense of peace inside that I need to start changing how I take care of others and take care of myself! Thanks for the lectures and guidance!

  53. @ Nancy — I share your struggle to let go of a man that I have not only known for over 20 years but had been involved in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years. I thought if we were finally in the same area, everything would work out. WRONG! He is here and still unable to fully include me in his life. I gave myself a birthday present last September and broke it off. Have struggled ever since to let him go from my heart and my mind. It doesn’t help that he texts me often to see if I’m “ok”. It’s usually just a ruse to talk about himself and his challenges with no real concern about what’s going on in my life. I am finally starting to ignore his texts and realize that nothing is going to be different or better with him. The more I do the Spirit Junkie work and get my head and self-love together, the incrementally easier it is becoming to disengage. I learned from Gabby that when I am together the right, together mate will come along. Until then, I am getting comfortable in my own skin, with my own company and focusing on making MY life miraculous. THANK YOU Gabby for your guidance. Plus you’re just a cool chick to “hang out” with! XO

  54. Just fell off the food wagon for a few days ~ was feeling so helpless for not being able to give up sugar/carbs before a TV shoot. Thank you for allowing me to realize and forgive myself for not fully wanting to give it up because I am afraid of succeeding behind a camera. Amazing.

  55. Such an inspirational message. I have been trying, and trying, and trying to quit smoking and I literally cannot do it. I have prayed about it and meditated but just seem to against it. Help?

  56. 2 Things come to my mind that I want to change..

    1. Give up Starbucks Chai Lattes forever and ever and never go back
    2. Cultivate an unconditionally loving and ever-accepting relationship with my body. Never again lift up my shirt in the mirror to criticize my stomach.

    Thanks for providing a space here for this conversation.

    Much love to you~

  57. Firstly thank you for your constant reminders and encouragement of more spiritual and thoughtful existence in todays world where its so easy to get lost in the uncertainties and pressures of our everyday lives.
    Secondly after watching this vlog i checked in with myself and realised that im in a situation where i dont totally want to give up a habit. A person i feel strongly about and i know would be best to let go from my life because i know they are very capable of hurting me (emotionally not physically!) but for some reason i dont completely want to let them go..i know this is an unhealthy relationship but why do i still want to be with this person? Its like a part of me likes to feel the pain they put me through because feeling something even if its sometimes bad seems better than feeling nothing.

  58. Thanks for this Vlog, I needed to hear it, haven’t been keeping my promise in studying for an exam. Whenever I try to study, I get nervous and put it aside. I let my ego tell me that I’m not smart enough and won’t get a good score, so I don’t take it serious. Their I outed my ego, and I’m definitely going to start praying for courage and strength….good luck everyone : )

  59. This video came at the perfect time for me! Just like how someone gave me “Spirit Junkie,” right when I needed it, I know it’s no coincidence. I’ve been praying for guidance on a my career but this helped me realize I have been letting fear hold me back from truly wanting to change.

    Thank you to Gabby for this post and to everyone for sharing yourselves so honestly. It is a real inspiration!

  60. Hi Gabby,
    It’s so ironic that you mention struggling with your coffee addiction because I’ve officially been off coffee for a solid 2 weeks and don’t miss it at all! I find that my mind and body are much calmer and I have more natural energy. I had no original intention to stop drinking it until I read Suzanne Somers’ “Breakthrough: 8 Steps to Wellness.” A must read for anyone looking to live a longer, healthier life naturally without unnecessary meds. That book might help you make the commitment to kick coffee :o)

  61. I am a workaholic and I know that is the next thing to go. “Somethin’s gotta give” is a mantra that’s been running through my head. I have 3 jobs, and I don’t need to at all, I just want the extra money, which I then have no time to enjoy! So just last weekend I decided to give up 2 of them once my contract ends. The follow through will ensue and excuses will be made, I’m sure, but SOMETHIN’S. GOTTA. GIVE. Change is on the horizon.

    I also beat myself up. Self-forgiveness is hard, I am hard on myself all the time. I will start choosing the words I use to describe myself more lovingly, and speak well of my accomplishments rather than belittling them. “There is nothing enlightened about shrinking…” I can’t remember the rest of the Marianne WIlliamson quote, but ain’t it the truth! The less harsh I am on myself, the more love I show myself, the more compassion I can have for others.

    Thanks, Gabby.

  62. Thank you for this vlog! It was really what I needed right now since I’ve relapsed into my eating disorders, yet again. Now I feel hopeful that I can make a change, for good this time!

  63. Hi Gabby!
    I am so pumped about this Vlog! I have to let you know my addiction…it is food! Food is my drug of choice and the way I either medicate my feelings or celebrate. I have over 50 lbs to lose and the obsession about food is out of control. I literally abuse myself with food. If I feel like a bad person or life isn’t looking so shiney, I eat something that isn’t “GOOD” for me. It is the equivalent to putting a needle in my arm and taking the pain away. I understand from your two fabulous books that part of that is my ego getting in the way and I try my darndest to keep my ego in check…not an easy task!
    I will go over, and over photos of skinny or healthy looking people, men, or women, saying, I wish I was like that. I need to be more like that. The health consequences of what I am doing to my body is freaky too.
    Well with that said, thank you for your wise words, I am going to now forgive myself, and find the Desire, Want and Willingness to Let The Obession GO!

  64. Hi there all! And best wishes and well done to all of you for facing these battles and getting started on the path to a brighter future. My oh my Gabby, if only coffee were my only and worse vice. Coffee and cigarettes often feel like the only things getting me through my anxiety, depression, binge eating, bulimia, alcohol abuse, and well, just constantly dragging myself down with my inability to deal with my emotional b.s. Your message resonates. Surely, we want the change. But, so often, our bad habits are such a part of our routines we know no other way. It’s not a conscious thought or something we acknowledge, but it’s almost as though we miss these habits when we try to change. I’ve gotten to viewing my self-destruction as a hobby, for it is indeed what I do with my spare time. Certainly, we’d like our hobbies to be things we enjoy, eh? I’ve gotten so involved with these hobbies, I hardly even know what I’d like a new hobby to be. All in all, it’s going to take every ounce of me to pull these reins out of my ego’s hands and start anew…. Sure, I’m scared because I know no other way, but it sure as hell will be worth it.

    PS. Gabby, I believe you’ve touched upon struggling with food issues/binge eating/eating disorders ~ if you have advice on how you’ve applied the Course to this area in particular, please share!

  65. HI Gabby, found your site on natural health mag. com and so far I really like it. This particular topic really grabbed my attention because I have been struggling for years to end the cycle I have been wrapped up in with the people closest to me. making the decision to let people go, people I love because they are causing too much stress, its extremely hard.. U are absolutely right, you have to really want it…. So finally my change is coming slowly, im in a better place now than before because I had to build myself up and stand my ground

  66. by the way
    there are also male followers off course
    i thank g-d that i gave up coffee
    it was when i was just fed up
    and one day i said out loud to myself while drinking coffee, “bloody coffee”
    and since then i don’t have anything with a drop of caffeine
    it’s been around at least six months
    but i still have not kept to sleeping at the right times sleeping only at night and not sleeping the whole day
    its something that i really want to kick like really but i guess not enough…
    actually coffee can keep you up at night if you drink it at all..(?)
    anyway lets hope that there is hope above the horizon and i will function in normal waking in the future.
    i put it in my gratitude book under gratitude intentions (rhonda bryne) but i guess that is not enough.
    i guess gabby,
    u have to be like have a moment of absolutely disgusted with having all that caffeine in your system
    its good to know how much it’s not good for your body system like your liver.
    good luck people..

  67. Hi Gabby! Loved this v-log. Can’t get any truer than that! I have had weight problems for about 20 years now (and I’m 38), but, it has only been recently that I’ve gotten serious about transforming that part of myself. In the beginning, I fooled myself into diets and exercise regimens, but, deep down, I knew that I wasn’t really committed to my weight loss. Which is why I yo-yo’d so much of the time. I simply wasn’t ready…I just didn’t want it enough to do the necessary work. Before, it always felt like I was doing it for somebody else; like somehow I wasn’t good enough as-is and I needed to “change”. But, as we all know…change doesn’t last. Only true transformation does. Now, I’m ready and I really want to transform my relationship with my body, with my health and with food in general. I want to look better and feel better FOR ME. And because I was able to get real honest with myself about my motivations/desires, I was able to break through some of the obstacles that were holding me back and I’ve been able to start successfully transforming the physical and emotional parts of myself and the Universe is rising up to support my efforts in a BIG way. Slowly, the weight is coming off and for the first time in my life, it is without my having to be in some psychotic mode of starvation and over-activity to FORCE the situation. Thank you God!!!! With your permission, may I make a suggestion about the coffee? In various practices from Tai Chi to doing Inner Child work, I’ve learned about treading lightly/walking softly and basically learning to be gentle with myself. It’s a process that I’m still learning to “be” with, but, I’m getting there. Radical change is A way, but, it is not the ONLY way. You could stop having the coffee, but, if it is going to make your Inner Child have full-on tantrum, then, go easy on yourself until your full being is ready to let it go. Do you know about teecino? It’s an herbal coffee. It’s made from grains, nuts, fruits and spices which are roasted and brewed to taste like coffee without any caffeine. Of course, it’s not exactly like the real thing, but, it’s very close. Perhaps, it could be your compromise while you’re working with that part of yourself. Just a thought…..thanks so much for letting me share. And much thanks to you for sharing your love and light with the world! πŸ™‚

  68. Hi Gabby, I had to revisit this vlog. My vice or what I’m not willing to let go of is my ex boyfriend. I’ve come a really long way and I’m in an overall good place in my life but I struggle to meet or let someone new in. We broke up almost 2yrs now, briefly attempted to reestablish a friendship last year but my intentions weren’t true, I wanted more, I became needy and clingy and I hurt myself thus needing to break all ties. I’ve recently been introduced to a man with many great qualities but I feel I am learning to see the person I was through him andthe goal of our relationship ends there but at the same time it has resurfaced this desire to see/ be with my ex. Arghhh!!! Why must love be so complicated???

  69. Hi Gabby,
    So many things, smoking, gossiping and one that I can’t seem to get a grip on, which is to keep myself to myself about my plans until they materialise. Every time I say to myself ‘mum’s the word’, then a moment later here comes the blurting… And I do so indiscriminately. There are many connotations to this but the one that bothers me most is being a writer,many times I find myself I talking, and talking, and talking about my plans and the ideas deflate before they hit the page. I really admire people who are private about their business, then they surprise you with their achievement, accomplishment, fulfillment, whatever you want to call it. I can change this and all 3 actually, and I want to, so God, grant me the courage to change the things I can, because you granted me the wisdom to know that these are indeed things I want and choose to change.
    Thanks x

  70. You LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!! I love your messages. Because of your direction, I no longer feel lost. I began studying ACIM, and I began the lessons on the first of the New Year. I feel like a new woman. For all that you do, I love you and I thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

  71. Thank you Gabby, I loved that topic. I am 90 days sober and have made you my cyber sponsor. You have blasted my recovery into the next demention. Love you!

  72. I really love the vlog. I just recently made the decision–again–to turn over a new leaf in my life by not looking to external things for fulfillment and to be more committed to changing my life. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted tons of friends and a great boyfriend thinking once I had those things, I’d be happy. And, for as long as I can remember, trying to get these people in my life to make ME happy has left me sad, bitter, and stifled from obsessing over them. My other problem is my yo-yo self-help kicks where I start out strong trying to get my stuff together only to give up after a few days when I’m not instantly mature and zen. Your vlog is making me realize that I have to really want to let go of placing all my joy on other people and stay the course to changing into a better me. Thanks for the revelation!! πŸ™‚

  73. I always check in for your lates vlog and today I was super excited about the topic. It really spoke to what I have been struggling with. I am working on changing a negative relationship pattern where I project my issues and insecurities on him. I’ve told people, including my husband that I am trying to change. But have been wondering why I keep ending up in these patterns. Your video hit the nail on the head-BAM. I’m resisting the change. And I think I know why. You have truly been a messenger today!
    Thanks and Much Love

  74. I am new to your site. . .your message of “wanting it” was so profound to me. After my long relationship ended I have been “holding on” and not able to release, feeling that if I did release I would loose her. . .now I see that it is just the opposite. . . Thank you for being such a wonderful messenger!

  75. Overspending. I do it, have done it for years, and it has led to debt and a lot of grief. I just cannot seem to stop, it is somehow almost automatic, like somehow I am not aware of it happening. I realise that what I really need is not new dresses, but closeness and love. Still I keep hitting my head against the wall time and again and hate myself for it.

    Thank you for this powerful message. I know it is time to release the desire to find love in the external and turn inwards to find it.

  76. I just found your website and hav been watching blogs all day! They are awesome! I have a question….I have been trying to give up my eating disorder and binge eating for years and this vlog rang true for me…maybe I can only stop the behaviors, mostly bingeing, for a day or two because I don’t really want to give it up πŸ™ I mean I hate that I do it t I love doing it. I love the pleasure the food gives me…but I hate that it’s orev
    Eating me from living life fully. So my question is, how do I make myself want to…if that’s the only way I’ll be able to stop doing it. πŸ™ feeling very discouraged now that I’ve discovered this truth that I won’t be able to because I don’t fully want to…I only partially want to. Any advice or input?

  77. I also keep a clean vegan diet- but I eat lots of fruit and dried fruit… And I binge on processes sugar during ‘celebrations.’ I am currently doing the 21-Day Sugar Detox and I’m having trouble as a vegan- how do you maintain this life style?

  78. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your site
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