Be Happier by Taking On the 1 Sneaky Thing That Drains Your Happiness

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Editor’s note: Updated in July 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

Every so often I catch something especially sneaky making its way into my conversations, my thoughts and my interactions: judgment. It comes off as innocent at first, but I always wind up feeling sad and disconnected. That’s because judgment quietly  drains your happiness.

Judgment weakens your power and literally saps your strength. I recently felt this firsthand when I noticed myself casually trash-talking. I wasn’t necessarily saying anything really mean or untrue, but it was gossip nonetheless.

Afterwards I felt awful. My energy was low and I was weak. After witnessing how my words had weakened my power, I decided to change my ways. That moment I started counting how many days I could refrain from judgment. It’s been seven days now and I feel more energized, more connected to others and more powerful!

In the past seven days I’ve had judgmental thoughts but I haven’t pursued them. When I notice judgement arise, I forgive the thought and choose again. This commitment to release judgement is setting me free.

Judgment keeps you from pace. The reason is simple: Judgment creates separation. A Course in Miracles says, “The ego cannot survive without judgment. The ego seeks to divide and separate. Spirit seeks to unify and heal.”

Though judgment may be our default, unity is our truth. The moment we release judgment, unity is restored. Each shift from judgment to unity is a miracle. Join me in releasing judgment and raising our high vibes!

I recorded this video nearly two years before writing my book Judgment Detox, but I already had the first step of the Judgment Detox process in place!

That step is to witness your judgment without more judgment.

Watch the video below for more guidance:

The first step in healing judgment

The first step in taking on judgment so you can be happier is to recognize how you are judging. I’ve been noticing all day long that I’ve been judging my haircut. I felt a little ridiculous admitting it, but I’m pissed off about it. When I recognized that judgment I could see how it’s lowering my vibes and bringing me down. So I turned to a beautiful principle from A Course in Miracles: “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

I know this sounds crazy. I choose to judge nothing that occurs. It sounds crazy because it is the opposite of what our ego has trained us to believe in. How can we not judge the situations that are happening in the world? The stories we see on the news? How can we not judge our coworker who pushes all our buttons? How can we not judge the haircut that we’re so mad about? How can we not judge? It might seem impossible.

In the experience of saying that prayer, setting that intention — “I choose to judge nothing that occurs” — we can center into a different energy.

My hope is that you can start by gently witnessing how you are judging. Then start to bring this prayer practice into your career. “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

Here’s what’s going to happen: You’re going to mess up. You’re going to judge yourself all day long. You’re going to judge others. You’re going to detour. When you detour, immediately forgive yourself. Come back to center and remind yourself once again, “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

This is a very serious practice. It’s not always an easy miracle. Maybe you have a miracle moment or maybe it takes a little while to experience some sense of relief. But if you stay committed to releasing judgment, you will experience so much freedom, ease and happiness.

Heal judgment with The Judgment Detox Digital Course!

 

When I became more conscious of my own judgmental nature, I began to feel myself wake up. I could no longer ignore the guilt I felt from being stuck in the judgment cycle. I decided to face it head-on.

So I created a process of personal growth and spiritual development where I explored different practices to heal my judgment once and for all. I teach this process in The Judgment Detox Digital Course!

This unique spiritual approach gets to the root of all judgment: our separation from love. It heals you on a level where judgment is no longer a struggle. You catch judgmental thoughts quickly and intuitively know how to handle them.

My method gives you clear steps and walks you through them, providing structure and guidance as you do awesome transformational work. This is a process of undoing the belief system of judgment so that we can stop suffering and return to peace.

The foundation of The Judgment Detox Digital Course is my book Judgment Detox. But it’s so much more! When you take this course, the book comes to life, you’ll take your Judgment Detox practice to a whole new level and you’ll learn brand-new tools that I’ve never shared before.

The Judgment Detox Digital Course is a 100% online course. You can take it anywhere, anytime. And you have lifetime access to it.

Take this course and….

  • Enhance your personal growth practice with deep-dive exercises
  • Be part of a private, supportive community
  • Learn brand-new lessons from master teachers
  • Follow along easily with my EFT videos, audio prayers, guided video and audio meditations, and much more

Get all the details and register here!

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87 COMMENTS

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  1. Great article! I’m enjoying your book Judgement Detox! It says in the book to come here to get free resources and journaling exercises but I can’t find them. I am really looking forward to them. Are they now available only as a part of the course?

  2. I relate to this topic because I am a serious critic of myself. I have heard you speak of addiction and have come to realize that I am a workaholic. In this capacity, I have been praised for how judgmental I am toward my work. I am currently detoxing from my work addiction. I appreciate this post because it has allowed me to forgive myself for hiding out from my life, through my work. I missed the last 5 sober years of my father’s life. He was in recovery when he passed and I have deep sorrow over missing that time with him. I was so busy trying to start my career and thought I would have more time.

    I choose to judge nothing that occurs…or in this case occurred.

    Thank you for your insight and for spreading light 🙂
    XOXO

    1. I honor you and applaud you for acknowledging your judgment and your feelings of sorrow, and choosing love now. You came to this place exactly when you were meant to. (If you want more guidance on healing judgment, you can check out my new book.) Sending you love + light.

  3. Hi Gabby,
    I know you did this blog some time ago yet I believe it is timeless. I choose to judge nothing that occurs is more important today than ever. I always tell myself and my clients that connection is the correction and I love how your video really illustrates this so well. I will be sharing this with others as we could use these reminders!

    Thank you for all you are doing for our planet and the joy and happiness you bring. You truly are touching so many lives. Beautiful, Simply Beautiful.

    I am committed to recognizing separation and making the choice to come home to my inner connection so the ego fear has no stronghold.

    Oh yes, I also smiled when you shared about messing up! So perfect, so many are conditioned that one time is a pattern and there is not room for practice. Loved it!

    Again, Thank you.

    1. Gorgeous, Dianne!
      Stay tuned for my newest book, The Judgment Detox. It’s out in January 2018!
      big love,
      g
      xo

  4. Lol, your upset regarding your haircut, when you said “piss off about it” I laughed out loud, literally out loud!! Not at your expense but because I get it! This is the reason I LOVE you and why your words resonate so deeply within me. Your realness has made me want to commit to not only follow you, but be faithful to your lessons for my practice every single day and it reassures me in my surrender to create my life of complete and rounded abundance…however that looks. So thank you for sharing, thank you for being real and thank you for helping me affirm to myself that the Universe does indeed have my back!! Love you!!!

  5. Hi Gabby,
    The examples you give on non judgment that I’ve heard are being annoyed with someone at a party and not liking your haircut, but how do you apply non-judgment to seemingly earthshattering things like being cheated on or feeling like you’ve been betrayed? I can work my head around every day annoyances but how do you not judge the bigger, heavier things?

    Your chapter about Oneness Sets You Free was so deep but seemed so short. I feel like you could make a whole book on that with each sentence being expanded into it’s own chapter. I’d love to learn more about accepting things that I find unacceptable when it comes to more tragic or difficult life events.

      1. Thank you, Gabby.

        I’m really looking forward to your next book. I’ve been holding on long term grudges I’m ready (but afraid) to release.

  6. So – here I am sitting at work, I am getting along with pretty much anyone just that one guy…he listens in to any conversation that are non of his business, he drops in to conversations and he is not my type at all..here I am, the devil inside me is judging – BAD, BAD ME!! And guess what, the Universe just punished me for thinking like the devil and dropped a nut down my bra ;0)) Oh yes, I practice yoga almost daily and I have learnt about the non judgmental goal – I am not there yet, as you can tell. So Gabby, here I go, I am just going to try this exercise you gave and let the Angel and Devil inside of me sort it out. I am open minded and willing to change!

  7. I just remembered this video after a few days in agony over a business situation, so I googled for it and *BING* it helped clarify what I am going through! I have been really mad and fearful because a business relation did 2 things the same day that tells me about his character. I have the choice to see them objectively and take note that we have very different angles on morals and how to treat customers, and decide from there to have a discussion with him and/or choose not to be in a business relation with him. But I have been SO MAD and condescending in my thoughts about him and also mad about myself because I know that doesn’t help the situation. BUT, put the perspective of judgement in there, and I now see that I am really judging him for his (to me) less than moral perspective, AND judging me for being so sensitive about this situation. I need to go deeper and not use his low standard acts as reasons to judge him, but simply as input to whether we are a good business relation match… So helpful to dig into the Gabby TV archive!! –Kristina

  8. Hi Gabby,

    I’m a bit late to leave a comment but I just watched your video. I must say that I love what you have to say and I have read your books so I’m a fan but I know what I have to say is going to come off as annoying: what if our judgment is right?
    For instance, I took weight (not just two pounds, a lot) and my boyfriend who lives abroad has not seen me since. I am pretty sure he’s going to break up when he’ll see me so I’m really trying to put it off. Here this is judgment and my ego talking but it’s right. Judgement sometimes keeps us in balance, it keeps us from doing stupid stuff.

    I’d love to be perfect and with no need to judge myself but it reminds me that I can do much better.

    Thanks for sharing your wisdom even if I don’t always agree, I’d love to be at the same point as you someday 🙂

  9. Thank you!!! I think that is the bug that is holding me back so glad you addressed this. I cannot wait to be the happiest person I know……

  10. Hi Gabby! If you allow me to say, I like this haircut very much! It’s modern, clean, chic… Just wanna say that!
    Thanks for everything you do, improving the world
    xoxo

  11. Hi Gabby, I agree with what you said. I also want to remind people that each people who success in life they also really efforts for it by their way. Nothing good is easy get. So people who want to achieve success then they really need to take responsibility for what they want. Don’t judgment instead people efforts to start create something for their own, doesn’t matter how long or how it difficult. In fact keep improving will support for people in process than they think.

  12. Sooooo weird, or not. I had just been contemplating this and actually wrote the below Facebook post seconds ago. Then, I went to my email and Gabby’s email was the second one I clicked on. I got a feeling to read it (even though I don’t have time today) and whammm! It’s about the same topic. Of course, what I love is that this one offers a solutions, which I actually was “feeling” was missing from my post but thought — “I’ll add some solutions in the future” Ha!

    I was also feeling a bit guilty because I was talking about a negative comment when I’m usually the “inspiration” gal to my friends. It was refreshing to hear even the most spiritually connected, such as Gabby, have the same emotional ups and downs. Thanks Gabby – Perfect timing, as always. I will be sharing your YouTube video on my Enlightened Fanatic page. Here’s my post from Facebook today:

    I don’t normally go the negative route but I’ve been seeing a lot of something lately – both in myself and others.

    JUDGEMENT : Have you ever come across those people who judge, and have even “outcast” others? I have, as well as, shamefully admit, have fallen too into that category. We command ourselves with such high standards, yet judge. It’s the ultimate in pettiness. The worse is when we judge from a distance and without making a real initiative to understand. Sorry, texting and social media communication do not count.
    Knowledge makes people humble. Communication opens up insight. Arrogance makes people ignorant.

    Before you judge the next time, you may want to make sure your hands are COMPLETELY clean. You may not understand someone’s journey but you don’t always need to. And, if you want to know mine, then be sure to take the time to pull up a chair and have have some coffee/tea because it ain’t gonna happen in 140 characters or through pics on facebook.

    And for future matters, I will be dedicated to only partake in intentional conversations with a higher purpose. And so it is.

  13. Hi Gabby, just want to send you so much love, I have just finished May Cause Miracles book and it has changed my life, I feel so calm and free of fear, thank you for your amazing books. This post is so great, judgement really makes me feel terrible and I will start to release it today! I just want to share a positive thought I had, I too struggle with world atrocities so much so that I avoid all news but last night I saw some news about young children being trained to fight for IS in Syria. It was hard to see but looking at their faces it made me realise that all those terrorists are really just scared little boys living in judgement and ego and so can’t find love and compassion. One of the soldiers had escaped and asked for forgiveness for the things he had done. I believe that the world will wake up to love when we stop judging and feeling separate. Thanks Gabby for all the work you do that helps us get to this place!

    On the topic of you writing a new book! – I really really loved your yoga workshop free video and would love you to do a yoga DVD and cleansing eating plan if you get time! x x x

  14. This was perfect timing… and very similar to your experience Gabby. Does that surprise any of us who know the universe works just as it’s intended! It happens just as it’s intended.

    I pride myself on being a light and bringing inspiration to the world… it’s contagious and I want to spread positive energy rather than be toxic. Out of the blue, I recently participated in a rare, unhealthy discussion that was similar to your trash talking example… not horrible but trash talking in a way I generally do not. I had the blessing of someone pointing out the comments made to me. I heard the way I sounded through someone else’s perspective…. I also felt sad and totally depleted for a few hours as I carried on my evening.

    “Judgment creates separation.” I know this to be true. The trash talking moment seemed like a moment of bonding but that’s an immediate, false feeling of community (like a bad high) and ultimately it divides people and communities.

    “Judgment weakens your power and literally saps your strength.” After the unhealthy discussion, I was exhausted and felt completely depleted…. unusually so. I lost my glow and felt like I had wasted a wonderful evening with my little girls, mother and summer night we had out for dinner.

    “This commitment to release judgement is setting me free.” WOW! Thank you. I was happy to read this as my reminder. I LOVE the feeling of freedom and power I generally carry with me. I am so glad I was reminded today to not forgo it or take it for granted. Out with the trash, on with the positivity.

    Let Day #1 begin right now at midnight 6/2. Thank you Gabby.

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