Be Happier by Taking On the 1 Sneaky Thing That Drains Your Happiness

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Editor’s note: Updated in July 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

Every so often I catch something especially sneaky making its way into my conversations, my thoughts and my interactions: judgment. It comes off as innocent at first, but I always wind up feeling sad and disconnected. That’s because judgment quietly  drains your happiness.

Judgment weakens your power and literally saps your strength. I recently felt this firsthand when I noticed myself casually trash-talking. I wasn’t necessarily saying anything really mean or untrue, but it was gossip nonetheless.

Afterwards I felt awful. My energy was low and I was weak. After witnessing how my words had weakened my power, I decided to change my ways. That moment I started counting how many days I could refrain from judgment. It’s been seven days now and I feel more energized, more connected to others and more powerful!

In the past seven days I’ve had judgmental thoughts but I haven’t pursued them. When I notice judgement arise, I forgive the thought and choose again. This commitment to release judgement is setting me free.

Judgment keeps you from pace. The reason is simple: Judgment creates separation. A Course in Miracles says, “The ego cannot survive without judgment. The ego seeks to divide and separate. Spirit seeks to unify and heal.”

Though judgment may be our default, unity is our truth. The moment we release judgment, unity is restored. Each shift from judgment to unity is a miracle. Join me in releasing judgment and raising our high vibes!

I recorded this video nearly two years before writing my book Judgment Detox, but I already had the first step of the Judgment Detox process in place!

That step is to witness your judgment without more judgment.

Watch the video below for more guidance:

The first step in healing judgment

The first step in taking on judgment so you can be happier is to recognize how you are judging. I’ve been noticing all day long that I’ve been judging my haircut. I felt a little ridiculous admitting it, but I’m pissed off about it. When I recognized that judgment I could see how it’s lowering my vibes and bringing me down. So I turned to a beautiful principle from A Course in Miracles: “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

I know this sounds crazy. I choose to judge nothing that occurs. It sounds crazy because it is the opposite of what our ego has trained us to believe in. How can we not judge the situations that are happening in the world? The stories we see on the news? How can we not judge our coworker who pushes all our buttons? How can we not judge the haircut that we’re so mad about? How can we not judge? It might seem impossible.

In the experience of saying that prayer, setting that intention — “I choose to judge nothing that occurs” — we can center into a different energy.

My hope is that you can start by gently witnessing how you are judging. Then start to bring this prayer practice into your career. “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

Here’s what’s going to happen: You’re going to mess up. You’re going to judge yourself all day long. You’re going to judge others. You’re going to detour. When you detour, immediately forgive yourself. Come back to center and remind yourself once again, “I choose to judge nothing that occurs.”

This is a very serious practice. It’s not always an easy miracle. Maybe you have a miracle moment or maybe it takes a little while to experience some sense of relief. But if you stay committed to releasing judgment, you will experience so much freedom, ease and happiness.

Heal judgment with The Judgment Detox Digital Course!


When I became more conscious of my own judgmental nature, I began to feel myself wake up. I could no longer ignore the guilt I felt from being stuck in the judgment cycle. I decided to face it head-on.

So I created a process of personal growth and spiritual development where I explored different practices to heal my judgment once and for all. I teach this process in The Judgment Detox Digital Course!

This unique spiritual approach gets to the root of all judgment: our separation from love. It heals you on a level where judgment is no longer a struggle. You catch judgmental thoughts quickly and intuitively know how to handle them.

My method gives you clear steps and walks you through them, providing structure and guidance as you do awesome transformational work. This is a process of undoing the belief system of judgment so that we can stop suffering and return to peace.

The foundation of The Judgment Detox Digital Course is my book Judgment Detox. But it’s so much more! When you take this course, the book comes to life, you’ll take your Judgment Detox practice to a whole new level and you’ll learn brand-new tools that I’ve never shared before.

The Judgment Detox Digital Course is a 100% online course. You can take it anywhere, anytime. And you have lifetime access to it.

Take this course and….

  • Enhance your personal growth practice with deep-dive exercises
  • Be part of a private, supportive community
  • Learn brand-new lessons from master teachers
  • Follow along easily with my EFT videos, audio prayers, guided video and audio meditations, and much more

Get all the details and register here!

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  1. Gabby, thank you so much for this video. It happens to be very timely for my as I have my parents in town for a week-long visit. I always start out so excited to see them, but my enthusiasm wanes as little things they do or say get under my skin. I love them so much, I just get so frustrated sometimes! I have decided to use this as an opportunity to practice no judgement. Wish me luck!

  2. Thank you Gabby,
    I have gotten much better at not judging others but I have a very enthusiastic inner critic. I recognize the lurking ego in that … other people are allowed to make mistakes or get it wrong, but I SHOULD know better. How do I cross the abyss from my intention and desire to judge nothing to actualization? As the Wise Ones say, “The longest journey is from the head to the heart.” I have only recently become aware of you and your teachings. Thank you Gabby for enriching my life.
    Love and Blessings, Deborah

  3. Hi Gabby!

    Thanks so much for sharing this. The timing is perfect as I was just telling talking with my daughter and saying that I want to be more aware of judging because it’s so easy to get into a conversation and then you suddenly realize that’s what you are doing. So thanks for the inspiration!


  4. Perfect topic just what I needed today! I have really been down on myself for about a month now. I am on a new medication to lose weight (dr. supervised) and lost 32 lbs. between last December 29th. and March 10th. of this year. After that I got really sick and was on antibotics since mid-March. Since then I have not been able to lose weight. I am just at a standstill. So I am judging myself harshly.

  5. Commiting.

    Miraculous timing. Aligns perfectly with my lessons in the course right now.

    Thank you, Gabby!!

    Sending love & sunshine,

  6. Hey gabby, I feel So grateful for the work you share. As my guru I have to ask about the ego. It comes up all the time in this work but I feel blocked by my understanding. Why are we born with an ego to overcome? Why does it want us in a cycle of fear and judgement? What is the divine purpose behind having an ego in the first place? It always bothers me and I would deeply appreciate your guidance! I wanted to ask at a seminar but there were so many people with burning questions in Sydney it didn’t feel like the right time. Thanks so much!! Xx

  7. OMG! Today Universe just shouts to me to do just that! Earlier Miracles Now showed me to stop judging and go into compare-free zone. And right when I detoured into fear and judgement of myself I got to see this Vblog! Thank you God, and thank you Gabby! You are amazing!

    And btw, remember, your light, you enhance the beauty of your haircut or clothers, not the other way around (we, lithuanians, say: not clothers makes a woman beautiful, but A woman makes her clothers look fantastic by her presence) ! And you look amazing 🙂

    Have a miraculous day! All of you, spirit junkies!

    Best vibes to you,

  8. Hi Gabby,

    This is something I really need to work on. I have had a lot of negative feelings recently and your vlog has reminded me that judgment is causing a lot of stress in my life.

    I commit to making a sign for my desk to help me stop falling into judgment at work and a note in my paper diary for personal time.

    Sat nam, Catherine x

  9. Thank you so much!

    I went on vacation last week, and today I felt like I’d take it easy and let the day take its course- that course turned out to be much tougher than I imagined and I had a really tough morning along with other things but huge one with negative feedback from a coworker- it had me judging myself all morning- I didn’t want to have a dear diary moment on FB, so I simply asked for advice through tough moments- this was better than all the comments I receved, and was def the thing I needed to hear most. Thank you thank you again!

  10. Hi Gabby – I saw you in person earlier this year and this is one of the takeaways I have from that night… I carry it with me always and have been trying to practice not judging anyone, including me. It (and I) am a work in progress, but I know it definitely improves the journey!

    Thank you so much for you! (your hair is beautiful, of course, as are you :))

  11. Please Gabby tell me where you got your shirt. I LOVE it!!!! I love lots of things you wear, do you have a favorite store you like to shop in? Thanks for taking the time to answer my inquiry!

    With love and blessings!

  12. Good advice, but this is really hard for me right now. Found out a few weeks ago my husband had an affair, and I’m trying to come to a place where I can understand why this happened. If it wasn’t for your books I probably wouldn’t be equipped to handle this. It’s so hard not to judge him, but I’m trying my best. Now I’m just trying to work on me and what makes me happy, and trying to stay centered and not let him take away my happiness. Keep telling myself I’m better than this. Maybe one day I can come to a place where I can forgive and not judge.

  13. Gabby,
    Very timely for me. I had an incident over the weekend…bottom line….I wasn’t invited to an after party charity event that i was on the committee for! Very insulting and humiliating. I could choose to feel bad about myself, and even quit the organization or call them out on it. Your alternative is interesting…. I am comfortable with the mantra you suggest…but shouldn’t i find out the truth behind why i was overlooked and tell them (without blame) how i feel? What to do?

  14. After an important family party yesterday which I arranged, and organised, judgement was there constantly ALL DAY, I was judging my own behaviour towards others, their actions and words… (You know how those family members/situations can stir up things within us and push our buttons) after being exhausted, my ego was all up in my space, throwing in this, and that and bringing me down.
    This morning I was hit with a wave of forgiveness for myself!! I knew I did a great job! This vlog is exactly what I needed today, and I’ll continue to “choose to judge nothing that occurs” xxxx thanks gabby.

  15. Funny how things come to you at the right time. I make it a practice to not judge others for anything as I don’t know there story….but I struggle most with judging where I am! In my biz, in my life… daily practice. This was a good one. Thank You!

  16. Gabby,

    You always have our back! I love how you keep all of us spirit junkies on track and share the message of the Course.
    Much love!

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