Note: Updated in June 2018 for clarity and additional resources.
We all have unique ways of handling our feelings, and sometimes we can let our emotions get the best of us. I’m no exception! I have the tendency to overanalyze, over-spiritualize and overly obsess about my feelings.
But we’re not at the mercy of our emotions. We just have to know how to handle them.
How to handle your feelings: 3 spiritual steps
Watch the video below or keep reading to see my three spiritual steps for handling your feelings.
These steps have greatly served me, and I hope they help save you time and energy when it it comes to working through your feelings.
Step 1: Look at how you currently handle your feelings
How are you currently handling your feelings? Are you not dealing with them? Are you avoiding them? Are you holding onto resentments? Are you talking about a feeling way too much? Are you pushing it down?
In other words, what is your process? And in what ways is that process helpful? In what ways does it need a little love and tweaking? For the next few days, pay close attention to how you handle your feelings. Observe yourself and be the gentle witness. You may want to carry a notepad or journal so you can jot down some observations when you have a quiet moment.
Step 2: Bring in your spiritual practice from the get-go
In that moment when negative feelings come up, don’t wait. Say a prayer right away. When I had negative feelings come up, I used to immediately start talking about them. By observing myself I noticed that it usually took me about two days to turn to my spiritual practice for help. And when I did, I felt better right away. So don’t wait!
Set the intention to handle these feelings with grace and love, and to be willing to forgive and then let the process unfold. It’s okay to flip out. It’s okay to talk about your feelings. It’s okay to bring them to the surface. But most importantly, we want to bring the spiritual practice in from the get-go so that that energy of healing can be guided. A simple prayer is all you need. When those feelings come up, say a prayer such as, “Inner guide, please help me handle my feelings with grace and love. I am willing to see this differently. I want to feel good.”
Step 3: Let go and allow
When negative feelings like anger, resentment and disappointment come up, we can react really fast. Sometimes we want to send that email a little too soon. Sometimes we want to make sure we’re heard, so we curse and yell. And sometimes we want to just stifle our feelings because we don’t want to deal with them. So this last step is to simply let go and allow.
Let the process unfold naturally. Rather than thinking you need to send that email right away, or call every friend you have, or stuff that feeling down, just be present in the feeling. Don’t get so hung up on action. Just let the feeling coexist with you. If the feeling is especially difficult, there is a gorgeous meditation in my Miracle Membership and in my book Judgment Detox called Riding the Waves of Emotion. Practicing this meditation will help you to feel your feelings safely.
Be present in the feeling and then allow your intuitive voice to guide you into action. Allow your intuitive voice to say, “Yes, now it is time to speak up,” or “Now it is time to talk this through,” or “Now it is time to write the email.” When you let go and allow, you give yourself some emotional breathing room. You invite in spiritual guidance and you can take action from a more peaceful, empowered place, rather than from that heated, angry, resentful place.
How we handle our feelings is a choice
This is a process that I’m going to bring into my own life. I share it with you because I know that I’m always going to have moments that are going to piss me off. I’m going to encounter people who push my buttons and situations that take me out of that happy place. So will you.
Be we all have a choice. We can deal with those people and situations from a mindful, spiritual place. Or we can deal with them from an ego-driven, low-level place. Today, let’s choose the mindful, spiritual approach. When your emotions get the best of you, follow these three spiritual steps for handling your feelings.
Take a radical road to self-love and miracles!
In the video above I talk about the paperback release of my memoir, Spirit Junkie. In this book I share my own authentic story of transformation. In the process I share beautiful lessons from A Course in Miracles and other spiritual sources to help you experience your own miraculous transformation! You can pick up your copy of Spirit Junkie here.