How to Feel Great About Yourself: 6 Solutions for When You Feel Self-Conscious

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Do you ever feel held back by self-consciousness? If feeling self-conscious ever holds you back from speaking up or taking action, then check out 6 ways to feel great about yourself right now!

Feeling good about ourselves empowers us to share our gifts

Feeling great about ourselves is essential, because that confidence is what allows us to share our gifts with the world. When we’re confident, we show up for ourselves and others. We speak up when we have ideas and questions. We do what inspires us. And as a result, we inspire others.

We need to break out of our comfort zone

Tweet: When we feel great about ourselves, we have the confidence to share our gifts with the world. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

In order to diminish self-consciousness and build your confidence, you have to step outside your comfort zone. You have to speak up even if your voice shakes. You have to raise your hand when you’d rather shrink back. You have to say “Eff it, let’s go” and be willing to try something unfamiliar.

But let’s think about it this way: Our comfort zone isn’t actually a very comfortable place.

Yes, staying in our comfort zone means we can avoid feeling scared or vulnerable.

But it also holds us back. The comfort zone is a very confining place. When we let fear keep us stuck in it, we deny the world our light and diminish our greatness. And while we may think we’re protecting ourselves from feeling fear, the fact is that we’re actually letting fear call all the shots!

So today I’m going to ask you to become willing to do things that might feel a little awkward or unfamiliar at first. Try them, and trust that the Universe has your back.

Finally, I want you to know that stepping outside your comfort zone comes with huge rewards. Every little right action you take will lead to a MASSIVE confidence boost. And as you strengthen your confidence, you’ll be able to take action on your dreams.

5 solutions for when you feel self-conscious

1. Call on the Universe each morning

Remember, you’re never alone. Spiritual guidance is always available to you, and you can call on this guidance anytime.

Start each day with this short prayer:

Thank you, Universe, for allowing me to be my authentic self.

This prayer helps you drop in to your real, authentic, confident self. It releases self-conscious feelings by calling on the strength of spirit. You can return to this prayer whenever you need it.

If you’re working on building your self-confidence, set it as an hourly alarm on your phone and take regular breaks to repeat this prayer and sit in stillness for a minute.

2. Bring your full self into every interaction

The next time you have a date, a get-together with a friend you’re not super close with or even a work meeting, give that person all of you. Do your best to drop all pretenses (you can use your prayer from tip #1).

Act the way you act in your most comfortable relationships. Bring your positive, enthusiastic self to the table. Make a goofy joke, tell a funny story, drop a movie reference or simply speak your mind.

When you show up as your full, real self, you give others permission to do the same. When you’re willing to be vulnerable, you let others know it’s safe be vulnerable around you. This builds trust and deepens relationships.

If this idea freaks you out, then commit to test-driving it in just one interaction. Be more real and you’ll feel that confidence boost fast!

3. Get honest and be of service on social media

Gabby Bernstein posting on Instagram | Confidence boostOn social media, we often like to show photos of our fun experiences, delicious meals, vacations and all the other good stuff in life. And that’s a good thing! Sharing what brings us joy is awesome.

But we’re also living in a time when we are being called to rise into our truth. We are the media now. We can influence others all day long.

So let’s make sure that what we’re sharing is our authentic truth. Try being more truthful and real in a post. Share a story or lesson from your life that you know will help others.

Being more real on social media lets you see that it’s safe to be your true self, and that being your true self really serves others.

4. Create a vision statement

If you knew you were always being guided, how would life be different? What would you do differently?

Open your journal or grab a piece of paper. At the top of the page, write:

What would my life be like if I knew I was always being guided?

Then set a 5-minute timer and free-write your answer. Let go of all your fears and small-minded thoughts. Surrender to your creative thoughts and imagine what life would be like if you knew you were being guided. Let your pen flow.

When the timer goes off, read what you wrote and breathe in the feelings that come up as you read.

Are there feelings of disbelief? Or do you feel an intuitive sense that this is how life should be? If you’re feeling even the slightest sense of peace after reading your vision statement, then you’re tapping into your truth.

When you’re reminded of your truth, you aren’t self-conscious

Creating a vision statement reminds you of your truth. No matter your circumstances, you can decide now to believe you are guided at all times. When you accept this, you can be truly happy and free.

Use what you wrote as a freedom statement that you can turn to whenever you’re in doubt. It is a strong reminder of your connection to the Universe and the energetic presence that is always supporting you. Let this statement dissolve self-consciousness and make you feel great anytime you need it.

5. Shift your self-talk

Meditating woman wearing jewelry | Confidence boostLet’s say you have a great idea for a side project. Maybe you make beautiful jewelry and you’d like to open an online shop and start earning for your awesome work.

How the ego responds when we try something new

There’s a good chance that once you get this cool idea, the fearful voice of your ego will start saying negative, self-conscious things like…

  • “Is anyone really going to want to buy my homemade jewelry? I don’t have enough experience to be selling my art.”
  • “Setting up an e-commerce site? Do I even have the skills to make it look professional and write good sales copy? That’s NOT my thing.”
  • “How am I even going to fit this in with my full-time job, all my family obligations and everything else I do? Maybe it’s not possible.”

Does this sound familiar? When this happens, your work is to immediately be very compassionate toward yourself, calling on the voice of love.

How to reframe to feel confident and secure

Now, here’s how you might reframe each of those ego questions in the moment.

  • “It’s really amazing that I’m putting my beautiful designs out there! It takes guts to share your work with the world and I’m proud of myself for showing up like this.”
  • “Figuring out the tech stuff, writing up descriptions of products, all of that is new to me. But there are guides online and plenty of ways I can learn. I’ve got this.”
  • “Setting up an online shop means I’ll need to devote more time to making jewelry, and that’s a good thing! I have FUN making jewelry and I’m psyched to get even better at my craft. When I have fun, time expands.”

I used a particular example of a jewelry maker here, but this applies to everything, whether it’s the work you do, something new you want to learn, personal growth work, your relationships and so on. When you reframe, you raise your vibration and begin allowing your desires to come to you.

What to do when you feel self-conscious around others

If you commit to confident actions but find yourself feeling self-conscious, just keep this in mind: Everyone is really just thinking about themselves! Everyone around you is walking around thinking about their own personal needs and desires and worrying about others judging them.

We’re all just trying to feel good and be happy. So just remember that we’re all in this together.

I hope this post serves you.

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56 COMMENTS

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  1. Hi Gabby,
    Love it!
    My question to you: how can we turn our self-doubt (Negative thinking) into self-confidence especially when we are surrounded with self-condident people?

    BEST,
    dILARA

    1. Dilara, showing up here is a beautiful sign that you are ready and open to some big shifts. One awesome way to strengthen your self-confidence is with empowering affirmations. I suggest starting with the following affirmation: “I am willing to let go of my self-doubt. I surrender to self-love.” When you sense fear sneak in, consciously reach for this affirmation. Here are some things to look out for: negative self-talk, attack thoughts toward yourself, comparing yourself to others, or judging yourself. xoxo

  2. Thankyou Gabby, I love this post. It is such a great reminder of how powerful our mind is and how we over think things and not feel. Lately i have been doing somework around vuneralbility and this fits in beautifully. Learning my triggers and my story around this helps to quieten my ego, find another story and so i then have another perspective. Thankyou again, i love and appreciate your work.

  3. Thank you Gabby❤❤ I struggle daily with self esteem and self confidence I printed off your download 10 spiritual steps to improve your business but the last two 9 and 1o did not print. I could not find the article again then it popped up on facebook so I read the last two tips and that’s what I’m missing trust in God abs the universe. So I am working on my faith muscle thank you keep up the awesome work

    1. Beautiful! You’re doing great. Showing up here is a lovely sign that you are open to some big shifts!

  4. I love this blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it. Thank you so much for sharing your talents and gifts. Great timing, I have spent the last few years embracing my metaphysical abilities. To have the courage to show up as my authentic beautiful self.
    As an empath, psychic medium, writer and spiritual teacher. I still love the legal field that I have been in for ten years. However, I have decided to take another step towards embracing my abilities as a healer and take Reiki level one and Reiki level two classes this August. I am excited to see what new experiences and adventures I will have once I take this step. I am already excited for the new adventures that are manifesting now.
    Thank you again for all that you do. Sending you positive energy, thoughts, vibes, strength, prayers, hugs, healing, light and love. Namaste

  5. This has been inspiring and the timing couldn’t have been better. I have moved away from what I have ever known as my journey is welcoming It is different daily so it is nice to remember I GOT THIS! So grateful for your love and support.
    XOXO

  6. I love reading your blog! It seems that what I have been rustling with my own self confidence in taking off with a new venture is exactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you!

  7. Thank you Gabby for this information. Its have me look at the starting a new project and those stories we tell ourselves in a different light. I’m so grateful. Wishing you the most magical day

  8. Everything happens for a reason! I came across Spirit junkie in the library a few months ago when I was there looking for solace from a very dark place. You have no idea how much you have helped me! Now I’m well into Universe has your back, and my life is brighter than I could have imagined back then, a lot thanks to you and your guidance.
    So a warm and heartfelt Thank you, all the way from Sweden ❤️

  9. Such a timely article for me, Gabby! I was just beginning to feel self conscious in a relationship and wondering what to do to let go of this feeling. Thank you so much for this! <3

  10. Perfect timing. I need to embrace love in me and all those closest to me. Chosing to let love in again.

  11. Gabby,

    I’m so happy the universe has brought us together, you have inspired me to start my wellness business and to get over my fear of my public speaking…I’m one of the ones you called out…I have several yoga certifications and keeping taking more because I’m afraid to teach a live class…but I’m say Eff it and I’m teaching my first class starting in July!!!Thanks for shining so bright because of this…. I am going to be the light!!xoxo

  12. When I need guidance, I always ask the Universe to send me a message. And oftentimes, the messages come through you. Thank you!

  13. Hey Gabby…thank you. I am in a very deep struggle right now with an eating disorder I have had for 40 years. I am tired of being in a box. I am tired of all the mean self talk related to the eating disoreder. It has taken my life away for many years and my authenticity has been lost to it. I am fighting and awake now. It is the hardest battle I have ever fought. The fact I am still alive is proof of the Universe and its plans for me. The Universe is not done. I am not done. Your words are exactly what I needed this morning as last night was a very dark moment for me. Thank you.

    1. Thank you for showing up and writing from a brave, heartfelt place. Sharing here is a gorgeous sign that you are open to big shifts. I believe that Source/the Universe works through amazing doctors and therapists. I highly recommend reaching out to the NEDA Helpline 1-800-931-2237, available Mon.–Thurs 9 am–9 pm ET & Fri 9 am–5 pm ET or online https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline. They have trained professionals that can offer another level of beautiful support. I deeply honor your healing journey and sending lots of love and peace your way. <3

  14. Thank you Gabby! This post is exactly in line with my husband’s and my intentions for the week. We are both looking forward to working on our confidence and vision. For us, the biggest challenge is stepping up and being brave enough to go after our shared dreams. Blessings to you and your family.

    1. Thanks for this gorgeous share. These steps will help you tap into that confidence and inner wisdom. Sending big hugs your way.

  15. I hear your voice as I read this blog, I needed this so much, the morning prayer, made me cry, because there is unhappiness in me and I’m so scared I don’t know where to start, but I’m asking for help, I’m reaching within and I’m trying, thank you for helping me

    1. This is beautiful. Showing up here and sharing and asking the Universe for support is a brave step in being open to shifts. Continue to show up for yourself and be open to miracles ahead.

  16. Thank you for this. I needed thia today. I look forward to the training video tomorrow. I believe I am a light worker and seeking guidance as the best way to share my light. I do personal blogs and Facebook pages now. I am thinking of becoming a spiritual coach.

    1. Awesome Jennifer! Excited for you to connect with the videos and hope to see your shares in the comments. XOX

  17. Synchronicity is playing full out! This blog contains exactly what I needed to hear. Lateley I am struggling with self-confidence and feel I am at a turning point once again.

    I just read some feedback of someone who wrote almost the same things as you did. Then, opening your email with the link to this blog fell into my lap! Thank you Universe 🙂 Thank you Gabby!

    I am looking forward to the video that you release tomorrow.

    Love, Savannah
    The Netherlands

    1. You are in the right place! Grateful that you’ll be connecting with the videos and excited to hear about your shifts. XOX

  18. I cannot wait for the videos. I am loving this energetic work. So glad I stumbled upon you last week. I ordered your Universe book and I love it. I live in Florida and keep waiting for you to announce that you are coming for a visit to the Southeast!

      1. Thank you gabby, you are wonderful and so inspiring and I love coming back to you when I have gotten off track. Thank you thank you, sending you so much love

  19. Good morning Gabby, thank you for this sweet angel. What would my life look like if I knew I was always being guided? It would look like faith, it would feel like freedom and it would be joyous. What would yours look like? ❤️

    1. Awesome Tate! Today it feels like spaciousness: precious time spent with family, connecting with spiritual students here and in my Facebook groups, and time spent outdoors in nature.

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