Wayne truly embodied this belief system. The happiness he exuded is available to all of us when we practice this principle daily.
Step 4 of Judgment Detox is See for the First Time. By the time you reach this step you have established a prayer practice and begun to actively cultivate compassion. You’ll now be ready to shift how you see the people you’ve judged.
What it means to see for the first time
We often judge other people — and ourselves — by projecting old experiences onto the present. When you practice seeing someone for the first time, you free them from those projections as well as the false beliefs that separate you.
Instead of seeing another person through the lens of the past, you’ll see them as someone calling out for love.
We begin to heal our judgment toward others when we accept that people are our teachers in the classroom that is our life. This lets us look at our situation differently. You’ll witness how you drag the past into the present, and then you’ll be able to choose again.
In Step 4 you’ll learn how you can choose to look at a person as if you’re seeing them for the first time. Imagine how free you would feel if you didn’t lug your past into your present with every encounter!
A fun exercise to help you see for the first time
I want to share an exercise from Judgment Detox that is actually an old-school Gabby exercise from when I was coaching groups of women in my little NYC apartment! This practice is really fun because you can feel your energy and mood shift moment by moment.
All you do is silently say this prayer throughout the day: “The light in you is all I see.”
Saying this prayer instantly shifts your perspective. Every time you say it you begin to see the world differently.
Here’s how it works: Go about your day paying attention to the thoughts you have about others. Notice whenever you make a judgment, and witness it without judgment. The moment you witness your judgmental nature, just say your prayer: “The light in you is all I see.”
Bring this prayer into every encounter and relationship
Bring this prayer to the relationships that hold the greatest separation for you. Who have you made special and better than you? Who do you perceive as inferior to you, or even bad and hateful? Whenever you notice yourself judging someone, say silently, “The light in you is all I see.” Use this prayer with people close to you and with total strangers.
In fact, it can be really powerful to direct this prayer equally toward strangers as well as people you know. Back in the day I had my students go out into the streets of New York City silently repeating “The light in you is all I see” at each encounter. They used it on the subway, on the sidewalk, while waiting for lunch, at work and at home. They were always reminding themselves to only see the light in others. I asked them to do it for one full week and then share their experiences with the group.
The results blew me away! Each person came back with her own miracle to share. When you go out of your way to see people in their light, you are returning to truth. When you see the world differently you can transform your life fast. You feel relief in letting people off the hook.
When you see others in light, you allow the stream of well-being to flow
The simple truth is that it just feels better to be accepting and compassionate. It feels empowering to see love wherever you are.
The simple willingness to see others with compassion is very powerful. This exercise I’m sharing today of seeing others in the light can start a chain reaction and shift your perspective.
When your only job is to see everyone in light, you have no time to focus on fault and judgment. We spend our days living in the judgment cycle, and the moment you get yourself out of it you clear space to receive a stream of well-being and joy.
When you proactively see others in light, you allow the stream of well-being to flow. In the absence of your judgment, all that’s left is love.
Try this experiment today or for the next week! With each encounter, no matter how fleeting, silently say, “The light in you is all I see.”
Leave a comment below letting me know what you experienced! Did other people begin acting differently toward you? Did you feel a change within yourself? I want to hear your miracles!