My SuperSoul Sessions Talk: The 5 Steps to Spiritual Surrender

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I’m so excited to share this talk with you. I gave this talk on Oprah’s SuperSoul Sessions.

This is one of the most vulnerable talks I’ve ever given.

It’s also one of the most powerful.

In this video I share a deeply personal and emotional experience, one that was really hard for me to go through.

But it culminated in a moment of amazing spiritual surrender.

Tweet: The Universe has your back even when things aren’t going the way you expected @gabbybernstein #TheUniverseHasYourBack

Watch the video now to hear my story and discover the five steps to spiritual surrender.

After a meditation, I channeled the energy of the Universe and wrote down the guidance I received. Then I summoned the courage to follow it.

Now I’m sharing this guidance with you. Below the video I outline these steps as well.

Watch now: The 5 steps to spiritual surrender

I struggled with spiritual surrender

Right around the time that I began writing The Universe Has Your Back, my husband and I began trying to conceive. I had planned it all perfectly. I wanted to get pregnant right away and then cut back on traveling so that I could relax at at home while working on the book.

I was very committed to this plan. I canceled speaking engagements, turned down big opportunities and freed up my time. My goals were set and the plan was tight.

But there was one problem: I didn’t get pregnant. Month after month I’d rearrange my goals and expectations to stay on course with my pregnancy plans. While I felt strongly that I was meant to be a mother, I couldn’t release the plan. I became obsessed with the timing because my life was so busy.

My need to control the plan totally cut off my communication with the Universe. I judged myself for not getting pregnant and I harbored a terrible fear that it would never happen.

How I found spiritual surrender

hope is the conduit for miracles gabby bernstein card deckAfter attending a party surrounded by new mothers and pregnant friends, I was feeling especially low. With some guidance from my friend Jordan, I realized that I’d been blocking love with fear and with my need to control.

I turned to the love of the Universe for healing. I prayed and asked for help in releasing my own plan and accepting a plan far greater. In the stillness following my prayer I heard my inner voice say, “Your plans are in the way of God’s plan.” I accepted this message as a new Universal assignment.

Fixating on goals blocks divine guidance

As humans, we love to set goals and make plans. Most of the time it’s smart. But when we fixate too much on achieving our goals and sticking to our plans, we get in our own way. We think that we know what’s best. We relentlessly pursue the path of our ego. And we do it at the expense of our connection with the Universe.

This behavior keeps us from manifesting what is of the highest good for all. In order to allow the presence of love to shine upon every area of our life, we must remember that hope never rests.

Hope is the energy that carries us when we lose sight of our spiritual faith. Hope reminds us of the power of love and clears the path toward the highest good for all.

The 5 steps to spiritual surrender

Can you relate to my story in some way? Are you struggling to control something in your life? Do you have a hard time going with the flow?

Embrace your own Universal assignment and welcome the profound spiritual growth you are about to experience! Follow my five steps to spiritual surrender and let the Universe support you.

Step 1: Take your hands off the wheel through prayer

gabby bernstein prayer|spiritual surrenderWhen you feel fear, that’s a sure sign you’re relying on your own strength instead of the strength of the Universe. The Universe is always ready to support you, but it won’t step in until you step aside. So surrender through prayer.

The secret to prayer is to forget what you think you need. Do not pray for a specific outcome. Ask the Universe to show you what you need. Ask for the highest good.

Need more guidance here? Learn how to connect to a higher power and how to create your faith statement.

Step 2: Appreciate what’s thriving

Instead of focusing on goals and the outcomes you want, redirect your focus on what you do have. Celebrate everything beautiful in your life. Tell the people close to you how much you love and appreciate them. Take time each day to devote your attention to what is already thriving in your life.

Remember, joy is the ultimate creator. When we vibrate at the frequency of joy, we attract everything we need. Dr. Wayne Dyer opens the first principle of Manifest Your Destiny with this: “Within you is a divine capacity to manifest and attract all that you need or desire.”

By aligning with joy and appreciation, we activate this divine capacity. The combination of having fun and appreciating what’s thriving makes you a magnet for miracles!

Step 3: Recognize that obstacles are detours in the right direction

obstacles are detours in the right direction gabby bernstein card deckFor me, what seemed to be an obstacle was actually a detour toward my greatest healing. I had healing work I had to do to become a mother, and through the steps of spiritual surrender I was able to uncover the dark shadows that needed to be brought to the light.

Always trust the direction of the Universe and know you’re being guided toward love.

What happens when you choose to see obstacles as detours in the right direction

When you choose to see your obstacles as detours in the right direction, you can begin to find a deeper meaning and personal growth amidst the discomfort. Maybe you can connect to a higher purpose, make a real connection to someone or even be set on a path that will change the course of your life in a positive way.

All obstacles that are perceived with love can be transformed into the greatest life lessons.

When you practice spiritual surrender, you can detach from outcomes and trust the detours.

Step 4: Ask the Universe for a sign

I spent a year not trying to conceive and instead focusing on myself. But when I began to put my attention back on my goal, I noticed my old need to control come back. So I practiced these steps and centered back into the Universe. I surrendered through prayer and focused on what was thriving.

One afternoon I saw five wild turkeys outside my window. Later that evening, during my meditation, I received an intuitive message to look up the meaning of coming across turkeys. So I did my research and learned that they represent fertility!

The Universe will give you signs and winks if you ask for them. Ask for a sign and pay attention to what you receive.

Be in wonder of the guidance all around you!

Step 5: When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more

spiritual surrender card deck gabby bernsteinFaith is a muscle. You strengthen it through constant contact with God. All too often what happens is that when we get spiritual, we start feeling really good — to the point that we think we no longer need those daily practices. Spiritual surrender becomes a thing of the past.

But there’s a reason it’s called a practice. So practice surrendering every day. Because when we are certain that we are being supported, we can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.

Begin now with a simple prayer from the metaphysical text A Course in Miracles. You can say this prayer every morning:

Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom?

Enjoy the practice of spiritual surrender. It will give you so much comfort and relief. You will be able to relax knowing that you are being taken care of. You’ll begin to trust in a plan far greater than your own. The Universe will lead you to creative solutions and miraculous experiences. Let go and receive.

An update to my story of spiritual surrender…

I had no idea that my desire to be a mother would inspire great healing, recovery and personal growth. Through this experience I truly learned the meaning of surrender. Most importantly, I learned that before I could be a mother I had to learn how to mother myself.

When I thought I’d surrendered, I surrendered more.

When I tried to control, I returned to my spiritual foundation.

When I felt helpless I let God work through healers, friends, doctors, acupuncturists and my husband to be my guides.

It was my commitment to surrender that guided me every step of the way.

Surrendering my plans showed me that the Universe has a better plan and timeline than my own. I learned to see my obstacle as an opportunity for great healing and spiritual growth. My commitment to show up for my personal, physical and emotional healing helped me create a healthy environment to bring a child into the world.

This journey has been nothing short of a miracle. Surrendering my time and my plans to a power greater than me gave me great faith. It’s that faith that helped me to conceive. This December I will welcome my baby boy into the world.

Want to go deeper with the practice of spiritual surrender?

the universe has your back gabby bernstein bookTo go even deeper with this awesome practice of spiritual surrender, check out my #1 NYT bestseller, The Universe Has Your Back! (Chapter 11 is devoted to spiritual surrender.)

In The Universe Has Your Back, I teach you how to transform your fear into faith in order to live a divinely guided life. Each story and lesson guides you to release the blocks to what you long for most: happiness, security and clear direction.

The lessons help you let go of the need to control so you can relax into a sense of certainty and freedom. You will learn to stop chasing life and truly live! Get the book here.

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  1. Dear Gabby

    I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful book “the Universe has your back” I have bought this book from a bookstore in Manchester 3 years ago, but did not have the time to read it, at the beginning of this year my son has diagnosed with a brain cancer, and I had to leave everything behind, let my business on hold, my life suddenly stopped and had to revolve around dealing with this trauma, for some reason I picked up your book and took it with me while staying with him in the hospital, I remember the assurance, the faith and the comfort I felt during the long lonely nights by reading your book. the book was my companion in the dark times where I was in the hospital or during the treatment period away of my husband any my other kids.
    I just want to tell you Gabby this book is a miracle, it is a soothing gift, it is a practical manual for living the certainty in the midst of uncertainty.

    1. I’m grateful The Universe Has Your Back has been a source of comfort and support for you during this challenging time, Nada. Sending prayers and healing light to your son. Much love. xoxo

  2. Hello Gabby. I keep needing to contact you at the moment as some much is happening and it’s all so linked to listening to your audio books and blogs and taking action.

    A life coach Beth Creedon in the UK recommend your book ‘The Universe has Got
    Your Back’ and I have been listening and listening each time picking up new tips and concepts for 3 years now. I keep coming back! This then linked me to your blogs and YouTube etc…

    And to just say ‘wow’! And thank you for all you have shared and to share this story ;

    I practised surrendering about 2 years ago to become pregnant and to lots of other areas of life, knowing I wanted to nurture a life in some way, but kept reminding myself the steps you provided and that all would evolve as it needed to. My symbol became a Kingfisher. Probably because if it’s water habitat and colours and mystery. A while back I was reminding myself of your steps and was yet to see a kingfisher of any sort, and asked the universe for guidance. Not long after, that very day I took a walk into town, and decided to take a different route. And lo surrounding the porch of the door were kingfishers! ☺️ This has continued – when I have asked for guidance or when life has felt right/magical and a kingfisher has appeared in some from.

    When I recently left a job I had needed to leave and let go of for a while I had 3 kingfisher symbols in one day!

    We have tried over the last 2 years for a baby … with no success and the disappointment/negative spiral that can result. I am 40 but many women who I know have conceived at this age.
    And then recently we decided to let go. Take the pressure off. To stop ‘trying’. Having also just left my job where I was often in constant flight/fight we figured wait a while for things to calm. And see what happened.

    A friend gave me some fertility stones which I placed on my belly…as per instructions along with a blue calcite crystal. I don’t know why. I It just felt right… but we had let go by now. I was trusting that there would be an outcome ‘for the greatest good for all’. But this felt magical, playful (fun!) and nice and part of the surrender.

    And a couple of days ago my period was late. We were both ‘nah, we haven’t even tried this month to hit the window’. Then it dawned, we had hit the window. But in a passionate embrace in a time of difficulty. We were close through this difficulty and real with each other. It was a challenging in time but we had come through stronger and closer. All felt strong.

    …so yesterday we took a test. And it was positive. It felt like everything that had happened suddenly made sense. A really powerful moment. And one of absolute joy and gratitude.

    To finish – not long after I had a tidy and found the latest issue of ‘Woodland Trust’ magazine I subscribe to. And on the front there was a beautiful kingfisher close up in all it’s glory.

    The power of your teachings and what you share are in this story. What ever happens now I know I can handle it. I do feel part of something bigger than myself.

    Thank you X

  3. I am so inspired by you today! Choose SPIRIT connection to be of HIGH SERVICE to OTHERS. Do you know of therapist/healers in the Denver/Boulder, CO area who you can recommend?

    1. Wonderful, Kathleen! I’m so glad that this post has inspired you!

      As far as finding a local therapist or healer, here are some resources that you might find helpful: is a great government resource. They have a free, confidential helpline that is available 24/7. The number is 1-800-662-4357. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. You can also order free publications and other information.

      I also recommend checking out, The National Alliance on Mental Illness, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.

      I hope this helps! xoxo

  4. Hi Gabby,
    Almost 12 months ago my life suddenly changed. For the past 17 years I had been building my career in an industry of helping people, I grew with my environment and eventually reached my dream job. During the time I was building my career I’d had a difficult personal life, I would use my career to tell me everything was okay, I was achieving something.

    Then one day it all changed, for years in my personal life I had been a victim of domestic abuse, finally I had broken free and me and my daughter had found our happiness thanks to a wonderful human who is now my partner. I suddenly felt strong, I felt myself.

    An out of the blue event happened at work which gave me cause to stand up for myself. In doing so you are not always popular but I persevered to challenge the unacceptable Behaviour which grew and grew as more people became involved.

    So I decided, I need a new job! Everything will be better with my new job, I needed it now because it was my get out, I needed it now because it provided that fulfilment I need to mask my other pains and failures. It hasn’t come. Every job I’ve gone for, I would of aced, I would have got in a heartbeat. But no, no job offer. Each rejection for some minor reason that made no sense.

    My spiritual awakening started to appear, I connected much deeper with the universe, my signs and synchronicities came flooding in. But still no job offer. The fight continued with my employer, I held my ground and felt the universe push me forward, gave my courage and conviction to stand up for myself. All the time I had the greater belief it was for myself but also for the higher good of others.

    During a recent mediation I was given an Owl, a large owl that no matter what I could not let float by. I felt the most tremendous joy, utter wellbeing and intuition.

    Then nothing, still no job, another rejection for a minor reason. There was a missing piece, something wasn’t aligning.

    By chance I came across your page today, I saw the owl, I heard your words. I’ve found the missing piece. This is my sign x

    Thank you with all my heart xx

    1. Thank you for your share Vick. In Super Attractor I teach several methods to help you raise your energetic vibration and feel good. Truly, feeling good is the best way to attract what we want. We also have to keep in mind that true manifesting isn’t about getting exactly what we want all the time, but being open to receiving what is of the highest good. I think you’ll really appreciate one method in particular that I teach in Super Attractor — it’s called the Spiritually Aligned Action Method, and it helps you take action from a place of faith and confidence. May these posts also serve you:

  5. Dearest Gabby,
    Today is the first day I’ve ever heard of you and it’s funny how the Universe takes you from point A to point B when you allow it. I was going through my emails and found one titled “Spend a Weekend with These Legendary Experts” and checked out the site. I was led to hear your clip and found your website. I proceeded to download your mediations and felt such power from Manifesting Meditation! My hands were on fire! My old cat was happy to receive the healing power I shared with her! So again, I proceeded to watch this video and while listening to the 5 steps, I was like “This sounds a lot like Abraham Hicks” and I was stuck, especially when you mentioned to ask for a sign! I get the signs but didn’t know what to do next! And then the Aha Moment, SURRENDER!! Oh yes! Surrender to God! That did it and then reading Gypsy’s message about listening to Abraham also, I knew this was definitely a bigger sign! LOL Yes, the Universe certainly does have my back! Thank you so much for your message! I will purchasing your book as soon as I am done here! Many Blessings to you!!

  6. Gabby, thank you .. its funny I had never heard of you before, for 2 months you keep popping up on my social media, even in my email. I listen to Abraham a lot, I started reading Wayne Dyer in the 70s and still listen to his teachings, i have been reading and studying ACIM, then you arrive wow
    the Universe is truly miraculous, your messages are helping with my task of getting my book written thank you for your love and pure beautiful energy. you are Amazing.
    I believe that I was lead to listen to you and am reading one of your books SUPER ATTRACTOR

  7. I am loving your book! What a great way to reset for a new year. It has helped me so much. I have a question for you. What is the best way to handle work challenges? I am a business owner and sometimes have issues with employees. An issue just occurred where someone came to me (outside of my company) and brought to my attention an issue with an employee. I discussed with my business partner and he was defensive. My intent is to help, so I feel like when issues come up we can work through them positivity. I feel like I am often the one dealing with issues and don’t want to come across negatively or turn a blind eye. I am not sure how to handle some of these issues without stating them as they are and working through to a positive resolution.

  8. Gabby thank you for this……it’s just what I needed right now. The universe has literally just shoved you right at me
    Heard you on two podcasts, bought your book and now just signed up on the manifesting challenge. I definitely needed to surrender. Thank you.
    Wishing you all the best xx

    1. You’re welcome Susan. I’m so glad you have connected with this work. Sending you so much love and light girl!

  9. I love this so much Gabby! Thank you and I understand completely as it also took me 3 years for my precious child to manifest. He is now a teen with life-long anaphylactic food allergies and he’s had some close calls though we’ve done everything right. Can I ask the universe for help in keeping him safe, or can I only manifest for myself? Whenever he’s out with his friends, I just pray for his safety….I’ve heard though that you can only manifest for yourself..,,anything else I can do? Thank you so much and sending love xx

    1. Great question, Viviana. I suggest manifesting for yourself, but you can absolutely pray for your son and for his safety. I hope this helps! Sending lots of prayers and healing light for you, your son, and your family! xo

  10. Found you on You Tube Super Soul Sunday, looking forward to reading your book. This is exactly what I needed going into 2020. I’m thankful for you , the Universe , Love and God. Sending Love, Prayers and Positive Vibes! Thank you! XOXO

  11. Yes, those turkeys appeared in your window view that one glorious day and it wasn’t for Thanksgiving dinner. The Fertility Turkeys were like angels for you . No?
    Thank you for the example of faith in Love and believing in miracles. I wish you good luck and good fortune with your new little family of coarse and I wish you abundant blessings too. But my warmest wish is that you remain supremely tender yet strong enough to continue showing it.
    angela dagostino

  12. Hi Gabby,
    I was at your workshop in Houston in October! Husband was stuck being at home to his work authorization situation, and it was blocking out plans for having a baby. We decided we would start trying anyway.
    Husband and I started trying for a baby in September. After your session, I received beautiful signs from the universe, a friend did a card reading fir herself but she felt was for me! It had the number 777 and said- trust before October is over, abundance and healing would be at your doorstep. Husband hit his authorization to work finally in October!I did get pregnant in October as well but miscarries at 8 weeks. I am not sure why it happened but still keeping my faith and trust in the Universe and allowing myself to be guided. Thank you!

    1. First of all I want to say that I’m deeply sorry for your loss, Batul. I understand this on a very personal level and I want you to know that I’m holding you with a lot of love and compassion right now.
      I know there are no easy answers in the midst of this kind of loss. In my book Super Attractor I talk about my own fertility journey, including how I protected my good-feeling emotions throughout the process. The methods I teach in the book will help you to strengthen your faith and trust that what is of the highest good is coming to you.
      If you haven’t already, you may want to try this meditation to help you surrender:
      I hope this serves you. xo

  13. Gabby, I just wanted to share with you that you have been an inspiration to my new journey at the age of 61. It’s never to late to learn and grow my spirituality and faith. It all started when a friend suggested that I purchase your book, The Universe Has Your Back. After reading and digesting your book, I felt a feeling that I wasn’t alone, anymore. You see, I was an overachiever in my younger days, and my business opportunities just came easy to me back then. Over the past few years that good fortune ran it’s course, and I began to lose business, sales and new opportunities. Over the Thanksgiving Holiday while in Denver, CO. I was thinking that I needed to pursue HELP and that’s when I pulled into a shopping mall and saw a Barnes and Noble store. My first thought was, Gabby has a new book out, Super Attractor and I needed to see if they had one in stock. The sales women said I think we have this in another section of the store…..Next thing I see is her grabbing the book from the shelf and handed me the SIGNED COPY of your book. It was a sign, a great sign that lifted my spirits and I couldn’t wait to began to read your words of wisdom. Your works of JOY, LOVE and Methods has helped me PIVOT and show me that I’m shifting my fear to FAITH. YOU have changed my approach and Outlook each and everyday. I want to THANK YOU for sharing with me the new tools in my toolbox, that have Helped me change my mindset and guided me to a Higher power. The more I read, the better I feel. Wishing You and your Family, All the Very Best. Your a GIFT from GOD.

    1. I’m so grateful that you connected here, Leonard, and that my books and blog posts have been serving you. Thank you for sharing your miracle moments!

  14. Gabby, surrendering and letting go of the outcome has been a very big challenge, when it comes to a specific person. I recently got your book Super Attractor, that I will read. That letting go of the outcome…in this case marriage…is a work in progress.

    1. Showing up and sharing here is a sign that you’re ready to make some big shifts, Miriam. Surrendering the outcome is a practice. May this prayer from the Universe Has Your Back serve you: Today I surrender my goals and plans to the care of the Universe. I offer up my agenda and accept spiritual guidance. I trust that there is a plan far greater than mine. I know that where there once was lack and limitation there are spiritual solutions and creative ideas. I step back and let love lead the way. Thy will be done.

  15. Dearest Gabby, I loved every word in your book Super Attractor. I listened to it on Audible, it was like having my best friend with me wherever I went. Your voice is so healing and beautiful. I feel so uplifted when I listen to you speak, I’m so glad that you were brought into my life. This has been a very difficult year for me but I know now that the universe has my back. Love you! Xx

  16. Hi Gabby. I just surpassed 20 years of continuous sobriety / recovery. I was very active in 12 step recovery for the first 12 years or so and then I got away from it. About nine months ago I fell into a personal crises which continues to plague me daily, despite the counselling and prayers and trying so hard to get past it. A friend of mine gave me your book last week and it has become a poignant example of “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”. You see I went back to meetings, but they just weren’t helping because I wasn’t ready to hear the message in that format and therefore I could not find my way back to the spiritual principles that you talk about – and that I already have witnessed them work wonders in my life. I already feel some relief since making a sincere attempt to get out of the way and let go. My question is – I would love to start a group in my local area using your book as the guide / study. Do you have any suggestions for me in that regard?
    Thank you

    1. Craig, I’m so moved by your note and I want to thank you for sharing this. I’m so grateful that my words have resonated with you. Your friend handed you that book for a reason.

      First, what book are you reading? Is it Spirit Junkie or something else? During Level 2 of my Spirit Junkie Masterclass training, I train students to lead workshops based on my book May Cause Miracles, which is the only training I offer for any of my books. However, you can create your own book club or group around my book (or any book!) in a way that works for you, as long as you’re clear that it’s something you’re doing on your own as I don’t offer training or certification. You may be able to find folks by posting flyers in your local library, community centers or churches, or online on a site such as Meetup or NextDoor.

      I also want to make the gentle suggestion that you give yourself plenty of time to do the personal spiritual work you feel called to do. In my new book Super Attractor I talk about the importance of protecting your energy and your manifestations when they’re in the early stages. Perhaps right now you might just want to talk about the book with the friend who give it to you. Or maybe you’re in my Miracle Membership or another spiritual community where you can join these kinds of conversations with people who you know are like-minded.

      I’m so thrilled for you and I honor your journey, your recovery, your commitment to personal growth and spirituality. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for being a force for love.

  17. My Dearest Gabby,

    Thank you for your wisdom and teachings have been a blessing for so many, including me. I met you in 2012 in Washington, DC with Hay House in the “I can do it” Conference. I thought of you as this amazing young girl, and today, I am speechless. I hope someday soon, I can have the opportunity to say Thank you, again. My life has been transformed and God, the Universe has it all under control May God continue to bless you and your family.

  18. I’m having so much trouble surrendering my dream of being fully reconciled with my boyfriend. I know we’re supposed to believe and trust that God will give us what’s really best for us – even if that’s different from what we want. But I can’t even imagine anything better than having this relationship healed and restored. I’ve had a lot of losses and pain the past few years, and I really don’t think I can take any more.

    1. Sending you lots of love and healing Kat. Showing up here is a beautiful sign that you are open and ready. Practice the 5 steps in this blog, remembering to be very gentle and patient with your process. Try incorporating these for the next month and see how your energy shifts. XOX

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