Do you struggle when it comes to making decisions?
There are two ways this struggle tends to show up.
The first way is the kind of classic indecisive behavior. You go back and forth over the options, overanalyze, make lists of pros and cons, and ask a million people for their opinions before you decide on something.
The other way this struggle shows up is when you get impulsive. You want to get something locked down, so you decide too fast. Instead of asking a million people, you don’t even really ask yourself.
As we grow spiritually, we begin to recognize that there’s a much better way. There is an intuitive approach to decision making that’s available to us all the time. All we have to do is tune in to it.
Why we struggle when making decisions
Before we jump into the solutions, let’s make sure we have a good understanding of what blocks us from easily making decisions that we feel good about.
Ultimately, the reason we struggle to make decisions easily and confidently is because we’ve cut ourselves off from the loving guidance of the Universe.
No matter how deeply we meditate or how intently we pray, we can still feel disconnected from the Universe. So often our logical mind can get in the way of our intuition. We need to have a clear connection to the Universe in order to feel ease around decision making.
When we don’t have that connection, we try to force an answer. When we put this kind of pressure on ourselves, we block intuitive messages and signs. We block the voice of inspiration that always has the perfect, divine answer of the highest good for all.
So how do we know that we’re receiving divine, intuitive guidance and not a fearful, ego-minded message?
How to tell the difference between your ego and your intuition
This is a question I get asked at every single talk I give. It’s a very good one, because it’s essential to be able to distinguish between your ego and the voice of love. You might call that voice of love your inner guidance, your ~ing, your intuition. Or you might call it God, the Universe, Source, Spirit, love. As I always say, use whatever term resonates with you.
So what’s the difference between the voice of the ego and the voice of love?
The voice of the ego
The voice of the ego has an agenda. The voice of the ego has an expectation. It has a goal it isn’t willing to let go of, a set plan that involves you getting exactly what you want in the way that you expect to get it. The ego is the voice of fear and limitation. The ego is impatient. It wants an answer right away.
The voice of love
In contrast, the voice of love, your intuition, is much more relaxed, receptive and released around time. This voice is very loving. It says, “Let’s be patient, let’s take our time and let’s allow an intuitive response to come forward.” Sometimes the voice of your intuition may not make logical sense, but it always feels good.
Let me reiterate this point: The voice of your intuition might not always make logical sense. It may not always sound like the decision-making part of your mind. But it will always feel good.
Knowing the difference between how you think you “should” think or act, and how you actually feel, is extremely important when it comes to easily making decisions that you feel good about.
If you get caught up in the ego pretty often, just start to pay attention to it. Recognize when your ego is trying to force you to make decisions on the spot, or force you to ask for other people’s advice, or make you feel like you’re pressured in the decision-making process.
The fearful, judgmental voice of the ego will give you a lot of anxiety around making decisions. This anxiety makes you unsure of yourself, and so you hem and haw or else you impulsively make a decision just to get it over with.
Tips for making decisions that you feel good about
When we make decisions from a place of Universal guidance, we don’t have to be anxious at all. We can be trusting and at ease. We can let go of the timeframe and the details, and trust in the Universe’s plan instead.
Instead of blocking intuitive ideas, synchronicity, opportunities and abundance, we open up to all of it! We stop interfering and we allow the Universe to get to work.
Practice the 24-hour rule
To start easily making decisions you feel good about, first you need to learn to give yourself some breathing room. Don’t feel like you have to make a decision right away.
Of course, there are some instances where we have to be quick on your toes and make fast decisions. But most of the time you can give yourself at least 24 hours to make a decision.
There is a lot of magic that can occur within 24 hours. In 24 hours you make room for miracles because you shift your energy and walk away from your ego’s agenda. You walk away from what you think you need to get done and you give yourself the freedom to just trust that there’s a plan that will unfold.
In those 24 hours, you become more receptive and more relaxed. I suggest you turn to a simple prayer during this time. You can say this prayer many times if you need to: “I turn this over. I surrender this decision to the Universe and I welcome guidance.” Turn it over and let it go.
When you surrender, you welcome change, possibility, guidance and inspired ideas. Just being in that prayer over a 24-hour period can completely transform your decision-making process by dissolving frantic energy.
Frantic energy is the ego at work. It makes you feel crazy and it leads to wrong decisions. I’ve made decisions from an ego-driven place of frantic energy and I’ve seen many other people do it.
For example, I’ve seen people impulsively quit their jobs because they feel enraged and resentful. Often it’s the case that they were meant to leave that job, but their situation would have been so much better if they’d given themselves a few months to put more money in the bank and get grounded.
Give yourself at least 24 hours to make a decision whenever you can.
Let your muscles help you make decisions
This is an awesome tool from my book Miracles Now. It’s an example of what’s called applied kinesiology. This exercise is a way to get answers from your subconscious through muscle reactions.
The idea here is that every muscle in your body either resists a decision or flows with it. Your brain might play tricks on you, but your muscles never lie.
When you feel stuck about a decision, you can test your options against your muscle tension to see which direction your body actually agrees with.
Here’s how it works…
Begin by identifying the decision you’re struggling to make, and phrase it as question. The question can be as small as “Should I eat pizza for dinner?” or as big as “Is it time to leave my job?”
Once you’ve decided on your question, rephrase it as though you’ve decided on it. For example, you might say, “Yes, I want pizza for dinner,” or you might say, “No, I’m not ready to leave my job.”
On your left hand, press the tips of your thumb and little finger together so they form a sort of O.
Then insert the top sections of thumb and index finger of your right hand into the opening, and press them together. What results is a little chain link.
Then pull the finger/thumb of your right hand against the fingers of your left hand.
If the O separates easily, it means this choice makes you weak and your body doesn’t support it. This is a clear indication that your answer is a definite NO.
If your left fingers stay tight together, the choice you’re making is a strong YES.
This simple exercise can communicate so much. Trust that your muscles never lie. Your ego may resist the messages you receive, but do your best to trust what your body is telling you.
Meditate to stay connected to the Universe
The biggest thing you can do in order to easily make decisions that you feel good about is here is to stay connected to the Universe.
Consciously communicate with the Universe every day. We say often that prayer is when you ask and meditation is when you listen. Before you meditate, you can say a prayer like, “Thank you, Universe, for revealing to me exactly what I need to know in order to make this decision with ease.” And then sit in your meditation, relax and be centered.
In your meditation you’ll begin to hear the voice of guidance come forward. It may be very loud or it may be soft. It may be an image, a sensation or a feeling. However your inner wisdom speaks to you is perfect. You’ll know it’s true because you don’t question the feeling. While your logical mind may question it, emotionally and physically you begin to feel a sense of grounding and a sense of truth. That is what matters.
Stay spiritually connected to make decisions you feel great about
As you become more committed and consistent about connecting to the Universe, you won’t just have to tap into inspiration when you have a decision to make. You’ll be able to listen to that divine voice and be guided by it all the time!