How to Tell the Truth

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Lately I’ve been working on getting honest and telling the truth and being forthcoming about how I’m feeling.

I know this is something that we can get really hung up on. It can be hard to tell the truth. But when we don’t, we actually stifle our energy, create toxic relationships and carry resentments. Over time, it all builds up.

3 steps to telling the truth with love and compassion

I’ve gotten into the practice of radically telling the truth in any situation. But before I did that, I took a few really important steps. So if you’re ready to tell the truth, watch this video for my three steps.

Step 1: Clean up your side of the street

If you share your truth without cleaning up your side of the street, it will feel like an attack, and the other person will feel judged. So first, take a look at your side of the street. If you feel called to get honest with somebody, ask: What is it within me that feels triggered? What feels activated?

Do whatever you need to do to clear that negative energy — whether it’s forgiving yourself, forgiving the other person, sending loving energy their way or praying. Clean up your energy before you bring over your truth, because if you show up with a nasty attitude your truth won’t be heard. You need to show up with a lot of light so they can see their light reflected back to them.

Step 2: Tell the truth from a place of love

Once you’ve done that, be prepared to get honest from a place of love. If you can tell the truth from a place of love you will be heard. You’ll feel healed and healing will be offered up to the relationship.

But if you tell the truth from a place of negativity or judgment you will NOT be heard. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. But that experience did offer me the opportunity to learn how to tell the truth with grace and power.

Tweet: Tell the truth from a place of love. @gabbybernstein #spiritjunkie

The benefit of telling the truth is you start to take care of yourself. You start to own your voice, own your needs, protect yourself and stick up for your values no matter what. You also get clear about your boundaries in relationships.

People may not always like the truth. But you can always trust that if you tell the truth from a place of love, you will be heard. Even if people get upset or defensive, your loving presence is enough to allow that truth to come through in an authentic way.

Step 3: Let the other person tell their truth

Once you’ve told your truth, give the other person the opportunity to tell their own. Hold space for that. There are always two sides to every story, so speak up and then allow the other person to speak up, clearing that space for the truth to unfold.

Listen with compassion. If this is particularly challenging with someone, then practice seeing the light in them.

You can even prepare for your conversation by using Emotional Freedom Technique (aka tapping) to release judgment first. You can follow along with my guided video to tap on judgment and learn about this profound healing technique.

Try these principles and tell me about your experiences! Leave your comments below. And if you feel afraid to share the truth, let me know and I’ll respond.

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  1. I would like and need to learning how to protect my energy and not get pick up from the energy from other people. I will need to learning how to set my boundaries with maintain. Also tell truth too. Let me know if we can talk on phone that I have questions. I’m deaf so my English is not first language.

    1. Denyce, continue to follow the steps in this blog on how to tell the truth.

      Before you enter a room with people, set your intention to protect your energy and create healthy boundaries. In your mind, say, “I set the intention right now to be loving, to be kind, to be forgiving. But I’m also not going to leak my energy. I am not a sponge. Right now I am not going to take on the energy of others.”

      These posts may also serve you:
      https://gabbybernstein.com/create-healthy-boundaries-protect-energy/
      https://gabbybernstein.com/stay-positive-mirror-light/

  2. Hi Gabrielle,

    I just discovered your website and book ! Very much like to read it and helpful beside A Course in Miracles !
    So I have watched that video about saying the truth. This is really a triggering point in my life, making me having lots of chronicle lumbagos the last years I guess. Being straight that is the lesson I take from it ! So, actually when I manage or at least I think I have managed to clear my side of the road, I kind of think that there is no point anymore to talk to the other one, haha !! Tricky mind…Probably my ego telling me that I am above that now and why bother about it. But there we go, when the next issue comes, the whole crap is coming up again which shows me that nothing has really been cleared on my side of the road!
    So thanks for your sharing, I am looking forward to discover more about your work and talent :o) !
    Kirsten

  3. Hi Gabby,

    I hope you’re well.

    I recently read your book the universe has your back. and absolutely loved it.
    Three years ago I moved cities in chase of my dream job, after not being able to find employment in the city we lived.

    I have a 12-year-old daughter, I had her when I was 16, having a child so young wasn’t easy, I have often been the brunt of peoples very hurtful comments. So when I started my job I wanted them to judge me on my skill’s rather than me being a 27-year-old single mother. I had worked extremely hard to go to university to provide us with a life that was better than the one we were currently living, so I didn’t want to be prejudged because of this….. Long story short, my daughter’s father didn’t allow her to move interstate with me. As I was working on a graduate role I didn’t have the financial ability to fight him. I still hadn’t told my boss because all of a sudden I was going through an incredibly painful personal matter I didn’t want to affect my new professional role. Now three years on, my daughter still lives with her father, while I’ve told my boss and office manager about my daughter, the rest of the team don’t know. I feel terrible about this, and as if I’m hiding the best part of me. I want to come clean with them about my daughter, but I am just not sure the best way to do that.

    1. I don’t think you have anything to fear. Your boss and office manager already know and I’m sure they are both glad you’ve shared with them and are happy you can be your full self and show up 100% when you’re at work instead of hiding such an important part of your life — your daughter. I would suggest simply bringing it up in a natural setting when you’re not talking about work-related things. Maybe when you’re at lunch with coworkers or some other social circumstance. You can even use this blog as a jumping-off point. Maybe you say something like, “There’s something I’ve kept to myself since I began working here because I didn’t know how to talk about it, and I didn’t want to get too personal. But I was reading a blog post on how to tell the truth, and I want to let you all know that I have a daughter. I’ve told [boss’s name] but was waiting for a good time to mention it to all of you.” You can tell them as much or as little as you want based on your relationships with them and how comfortable you are, and what’s appropriate for your office culture. You might simply say that your relationship with her father is complicated and she doesn’t live with you because you moved to study, and then share a couple of details about her you’re proud of. Is she getting an A in science class or is she on a sports team? Share that! Share your joy. People will respond to your energy and appreciate your honesty, and they will know you are someone they too can be honest with. Love and light to you.

I only recommend products and brands I passionately believe in, but wanted you to know that when I make a recommendation, I may receive a referral fee.

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