How to Let Go of Attachments

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I often witness countless readers and audience members complain that they don’t know how to let go of circumstances that they’re attached to. Whether it be a negative relationship, a resentment that they’ve been carrying for years, or a job that no longer serves them. In many cases folks stay stuck in negative situations for decades because they don’t have the tools for letting go. In this video I tackle this issue and share a personal anecdote of how I recently had to apply my own tools and let go once and for all.

Watch here for my guidance on how to let go of attachments…

Additional resources

Video Blog: How to accept the things you cannot change.

If you’re struggling to let go of a relationship, check out this digital course on Fearless Relationships. In this digital program, I will guide you to release relationship fear and embrace the fullness of love. The digital workshop (which you can do anytime, any place) gives you all the tools you need to heal past wounds and let go of negative attachments — so you can create empowering relationships in the present. Check it out here.

An oldie but a goodie: In this video blog I share 3 steps to accept and release

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70 COMMENTS

  1. Thank you Gabby…
    I’m trying to let go of my past realtionship. I was broken up with in March, I didn’t see it coming. I’m still hurt, even months after. I also heard from others my X said some negative things about me, which really hurt my heart.
    I really needed this today. I have your cards and I am always sharing them with friends.
    You are such light, thank you for giving me some guidance today. Really means the world to me. After this I will pray to let it go!!
    By the way this is Marisa, I’m friends with Arielle and TJ. The last time I saw you was at Big Love Weekend.
    I’m sure I will see you again soon.

    PS. My card this am was “I find peace in every breath.”

    Much love and light to you Gabby.
    xoxo

    1. Hi Marisa, I’m also Marisa. I went through a similar situation two years ago…had been in a relationship for almost 6 years- and, it is still a process for me. It comes up in places sometimes for no reason. I’ve found that feeling the feelings can really help, instead of trying to force them away. It takes time. I will be praying to let it go, too.

      🙂
      Wish you the best..*..

  2. Thanks for sharing this message and the advice. “What you can not do for yourself, universe will do it for you.”

    Thank you so much!

  3. Thank you Gabby. I have done this in meditation as well, and other times I find myself doing what Janet Conner did in “Writing Down Your Soul” and writing down (or out) a prayer. I know that is a great way for a lot of us and it can be more than keeping a daily journal. (If you haven’t see here book, there is an Owl on it…just saying.) For me, one of the most challenging aspects of letting it go is figuring out how to witness the exact feelings or thoughts attached to the issue or person to let it go, There sometimes seems to be so many.
    Nicole

  4. Im so grateful for this video today. Ive been in agony over letting go of a job that I absolutely can’t stand but absolutely can’t get rid of. Ive been at my job for 3 years and have hated every minute of it. But today, a sign appeared, and at first I felt like no, I can’t leave this yet, but after watching this video, I know it is time. I know I have great things coming my way, and its time to let go of this job and move on. Thank you Gabby!

  5. You are an inspirational, beautifully-souled lady, and you have inspired me greatly. Thank you for bringing your light and presence to the world. You are helping millions of other women (and men) to find their own light.

  6. Thank you Gabby. In the middle of a trial separation right now, and I’ve been so hurt by my husbands affair I can’t even breathe. I don’t know what’s in the cards for us, but I’m praying that things will get better. Strongly believe if my husband is meant to be in my life the universe will take care of it.

  7. I am in the process of transitioning careers — moving out of advertising and into the field of health and wellness. I have been tormented about when to leave my current job and dive in full time to my new field. Yesterday, ad several serious talks with close friends and my boyfriend about my decision to quite now vs. in 6 months when it would make sense on paper, financially speaking. I thought I’d made a choice (quite now), then I kept finding reasons to wait… then I saw this in my inbox today. I can’t say that it makes reaching a decision any easier, but I can say that I will be meditating on releasing my fate to the Universe.

    1. I am in the process of transitioning careers — moving out of advertising and into the field of health and wellness. I have been tormented about when to leave my current job and dive in full time to my new field. Yesterday, I had several serious talks with close friends and my boyfriend about my decision to quit now vs. in 6 months when it would make sense on paper, financially speaking. I thought I’d made a choice (quit now), then I kept finding reasons to wait… then I saw this in my inbox today. I can’t say that it makes reaching a decision any easier, but I can say that I will be meditating on releasing my fate to the Universe.

  8. Ten months ago, my six and a half year relationship ended, two and a half of which we were engaged. I’ve been committed to healing myself and really getting to know myself again after this life altering experience. I feel I’m in the letting go stage right now. I haven’t known how it’s going to happen or when, but I’ve done a few things that I thought would help. A month ago, I committed to doing what is called a Spartan Race. I needed something to help me focus solely on myself and something to give me a goal. My race happens in October, 8 days shy of the one year anniversary of my break open as I like to call it. How perfect is that? Right after I began my training, I had the ex boyfriend I darted before I started dating the ex in trying to get over, contact me after 7 years. I took this as a sign and decided to see what the Universe was seeing up for me. When we dated, he was the worst alcoholic I have ever known. So, when we finally broke up, and I met my next boyfriend, I told myself that his drinking wasn’t as bad so it was ok. I didn’t take the appropriate time to heal over the one before I started dating the other. So, here comes the first one, back to tell me he is now for years sober and is working the AA program. He apologized for the past and I forgave him for the past. To me, this was a miracle showing up from the Universe to let me know that they really do happen. A couple of weeks later, an acquaintance of mine that is on my ex fiancés softball team says to me, “your ex drinks a lot. We went to a baseball tournament and he drank all day. Then he drove.” This ex also has two DUI arrests. That was what I needed to hear to start the letting go. The Universe showed me that it can be done. That even the worst alcoholic cam get sober and live a life of sobriety. And that the man I haven’t been able to let go of is still living a life I want no part of. And that it’s time to move on and let the Universe lead me to the good in store for me. Just this morning I had a dream that my ex fiancé was moving out of the home that we had shared to live with his girlfriend. In the dream is able to wish him well and all the best. Maybe this is another sign from the Universe letting me know that the letting go is almost complete.

  9. I think you created this blog specifically for me…I’m dealing with a difficult family member (I’m sure I’m part of the issue) and I need to just let go…thank you for your words today. It was exactly what I needed to hear. See you soon in West Hollywood.

  10. First thing I did this morning was grab coffee and watch this and oh how it was in Divine order for me!!! My life, my passion has truly taken off and the energy I have been giving to my relationship with my Mom for YEARS has had such a hold on me. Today I release and let go….
    and so it is!!!
    Love you Gabby!
    jennifer
    peace & love

  11. I am in a state of flux. There are moments when I tell myself that I need to let go of my last boyfriend. Yet he keeps coming to me in lurid dreams, dreams and meditation-each image shows us missing each other or together. Do I need to let him go or just have patience? Thank you for your presence and light!

  12. Hi Gabby,thank you for those enlightening words.I think God sent you to convince people like me that there is hope and healing after a painful experience.God bless you and do keep going please.You are great at what you do.

  13. Thank you for the divinely perfect timing of this message. I stayed up most of the night struggling with what to do with my current romantic relationship and the anger I have been holding onto for things not going the way I envisioned or want, and letting friend’s words replay in my head of what to do. This morning I got on my knees and prayed for help. This message could just be what I was waiting for… maybe I need to just let it go. Let go of the anger, let go of the confusion, let go of the repetitive noise in my head… and let the Universe take the wheel. Flow with the love of life. Thank you Gabby (and the Universe)! xo

  14. I have a grievance with someone I considered a very close friend, best friend actually, and she started ignoring my messages without explaining why just before Christmas. This went on for six months and I sent messages explaining that I hoped she was well and I was missing her and am here for her and still nothing until one day in May. But when she finally does reply it’s strained and difficult to understand what she means by her messages. As she had replied I started trying to engage her in conversation to which she would sometimes reply and others not, I since stopped trying and she then sent me a confrontational message to several different outlets, the content of which was something that wasn’t her business but made me feel as though I owed her an explanation so I chose not to respond. She since has asked why there’s been no response and after I’ve told her it felt like she didn’t want me in her life any longer she hasn’t replied again. I really want this resolved and I don’t see how it can be when there are things not being said. Everyone tells me to let it go because she’s playing mind games, I just want it resolved and I don’t know how to go about it or whether to send something else when she may not even reply and I don’t know what to say to release it all.

  15. Hey Gabby! Great post! I just have one comment. I have a problem letting go because I’m not ready. For some reason, I tend to let go, after a specific event has happened, which I call the BREAKING POINT. Basically, when I have had enough and I just can’t be angry anymore. It always gets to that point, I need a better way to get to that process sooner. Or should I just trust divine timing? Maybe this is how I’m supposed to heal? Not sure…..

  16. Hi Gabby,

    I appreciate your video, because sometimes we over-complicate the process. I will be saying daily prayers. Thank you for the simple reminder. <3

    Marisa

  17. My ex and I broke up a year ago, we have stayed in a “break” stage for the past 12 months, always talking about getting back together one day, one day, one day. I keep hearing from him we will move back in together when this, when that, when this, I’ll by you a ring one day, on day…and today I realized, I’m holding onto something I’m never going to get. This relationship was over for a reason, and I’ve been holding on so tight because my ego cant let it go, cant let go of this life that I had planned out, and accept that is just isn’t what’s in the cards for me. It’s time for me to accept what is and let go.I bought the Fearless Relationship workshop today and I look forward to what I can learn from the course. Thanks Gabby, XoXo

  18. This is just what I needed today! Your books & videos have enriched my life beyond measure. Thank you for your beautiful light & love Gabby!
    XOXO ~Kelly

  19. Hi Gabby,

    Thanks so much for this beautiful message. Letting go is one of those things that so hard to do, but so necessary for our growth! Not just in terms of spiritual growth, but mental, physical, and emotional growth as well!

    Its also one of those things that sounds easy on paper, but its application is so much tougher. Our hearts hold onto things and refuse, resist, deny as much as we can.

    This same lesson has taken so many different forms in my life. I’m so thankful that I’m a stronger, wiser person today because of the constant reminders/tests/blessings from the universe. Lessons are hard but the rewards and resulting growth is great <3

    <3 love you always
    Aly

  20. Hi Gabby!!
    Thank you for sharing this – we can all use a reminder to let go of all that does not serve our highest good!!

    <3 <3 <3
    Ps. Look at the light illuminate behind you 40ish sec in when you speak about spiritual practice! ???

  21. I am so grateful to have seen this video. I am currently ‘accepting and releasing’ many many things in my life that are no longer of my highest good. I am playfully and fearlessly renegotiating what my work life looks like as well as my romantic life. I am letting go of a relationship which, of all my years of dating has been my most loving and beautiful experience with a partner. My partner is moving away to further embrace his own personal journey which has felt bitter/sweet for me.I am learning to actually enjoy the changing chapters in my life, to embrace all the emotions, and everything in between. It’s fun, scary, mind opening and spiritually uplifting. Thank you for reminding me to hold fast to my intention of aligning more with the natural flow of life and severing all forms of attachment. I found it hard in the past to let go especially of relationships, because I used to feel that the best times were all within that one person. And that all the happiness would leave with them. Nowadays, I know to place my faith in the beauty of the present moment, and that true joy and happiness comes from the love and appreciation of oneself.

  22. Also, thank you so much for translating A Course in Miracles- I’m drawn to it but the text itself brings up repulsion in me (strong I know!) every time I read it.
    I’d love for you to do deeper translation than you have done already!!!

  23. Dear Gabby,
    This is JUST the message I needed to hear. I’ve been holding anger & resentment towards a friend for a few years now. Last week I let her know how I felt & I got a very negative reaction from her which escalated my anger further & we were just attacking each other back & forth.
    I got home & started looking for any videos from you related to handling conflict. I didn’t find what I was looking for. I discussed this with 2 other dear friends whose advise I value & both felt I needed to end this friendship. I value their opinions but somewhere deep within I felt I needed a spiritual solution ….so I surrendered this friendship & this situation to the Universe & kept trusting that I will be guided. And your video today was so appropriate for me & also timely, I also watched a related video “Accept & release” & loved it.
    I’m gonna keep doing my forgiveness & focus on LOVE. Thank you so much Gabby. Xoxo

  24. I have this ongoing issue with my mom and sisters. This has been a life long stress. Now that I have my own daughter it’s different, stronger!! I know thati have been getting signs lately and I need to somehow resolve this as now it’s effecting my health.

  25. When I watch your videos I feel as if I am having a conversation with my best friend. You have such a gift.
    Im on week three of your fearless relationships course and loving it. Brings up a lot of uncomfortable stuff but Im willing to just let it all go… Thanks for your help with the process Gabby 🙂

  26. Hi Gabby, I love watching your video’s and today when you said ‘The universe will do for you, what you cannot do for yourself’ wow!! my whole body took a pause ….this resinated with me sooo much. I’m dealing with so many things right now and it’s just enough to keep focus and keep striving forward towards my goals. Thank you for all you do. with love & gratitude Steph

  27. So relevant for me. I have just let go of something big in my life. My higher self said this isnt serving me for my highest good, I choose again, i choose again. I prayed to be released and stayed committed and I found freedom and I came home.

  28. I needed to hear this. I recently lost some work and have been having a hard time coming to terms with it. I loved my job and the place I worked. I loved the people there. But unexpectedly I was let go. I have been feeling shame and sadness, as I recognize my own role in how it lead to this point. I don’t want to let it go – but I see that I must.

    Thank you Gabby for this timely video.

  29. I am so needing to let go of some family drama that I can totally tell has been holding me down, but I’ve been feeling lost on what to “do” to fix it. I LOVE this, take the spiritual path guidance. Thank you! I’ll be praying for help to let this weight go and see what comes of it.

  30. So hard… But I’d like so hard to let that go, My twinflame’s soul was ready to build a beautiful path with me, but the man, the ego, wasn’t able because his inside work isn’t done, so old patterns are still inside of him ( he needs drama but I’m not that kind of girl..)… I was ready for his presence in my life. But not him. It is so much hard for me. Really. It’s been 3 months that I havn’t saw him, because he cut off all contact. But every hour of every day, I think about our story. Really heart breaking. I meditate, I go to the gym, I walk in nature, I talk with friends, I work that on an energy level, but it’s not seems to be working… I’m starting to feel physical symptoms now… Anyway, I just write on a big post-it “Let it go!!” in front of my computer, hope this help! Thank you so much, so inspiring Gabby! 🙂

  31. Here is a post from my KonMari Facebook Group: A little magic happened in my life yesterday. So much magic has come to my life since I began this journey, I figure it is time to start sharing some.
    The day started with me crying tears of frustration, because my daughter spilled an entire quart of milk on the table and floor. Really my tears were because I had the pressure of a deadline to decide about a new contract for a Child Development related job. I’ve been torturing myself over this decision for several reasons, I don’t have childcare figured out for my daughter and I don’t really want to be leaving her for 10 hours a day even just for two days a week at this point, but I need to be doing work outside the home and I need to be contributing financially to my family. It all felt too complicated.
    In my email inbox that morning there was a video from http://www.gabbyb.tv , “How to let go of attachments…” So I watched it hoping for an answer to my dilemma, I’m holding on to attachments around working /money and my child’s needs and my needs. I definitely wanted to release the tension and make a confident decision. However, letting go is still so hard for me! Even after all this KMing! The video was a good reminder to just keep trying to let go and trusting that the right thing will happen eventually. Waiting is hard too.
    Once I saw the final contract and had a good, long talk with my husband I knew I had to let the job go. I have a dream to start a KonMari inspired business helping mothers of young children organize their homes and lives. It is time to focus my limited time and energy in this direction.
    That night as I scrolled down my Instagram feed, I saw that Gabrielle Bernstein (from Gabby TV) has just started the KonMari process with her clothing! It felt like a positive sign. It felt like a spark of joy! A little bit of Magic! Since she came into my life at the beginning of my KonMari journey she has inspired me to follow my calling to be a positive, supportive force in the world and to keep working on letting go and to keep moving in the direction of my dreams, which is terrifying and exhilarating!
    I’d love to hear about your magic moments too!
    Thanks for reading heart emoticon

  32. Hi Gabby, thank you for this. I have a question for anyone that have been through this: I am holding on to A LOT of anger, resentment and pain, and I feel letting go becomes hard because letting these go would mean there would be NOTHING left in me after releasing. I get anxiety and fear of diminishing myself in some way. The question would be: how can I feel safe to let go?

  33. I have had anger for more than a decade surrounding the demise of my marriage. It ended 5 years and had it worked out it would have been 27 this week… Finally feigning that I’m the only one still in anger and resentment, I chose on the “anniversary” day to pray, ask for release, surrendering it to God, and now i, Jane, need to LET IT GO! Thank you for being in alignment with my world this week. I’m on my way to a much happier, joyful, and flourishing life…

  34. Sometimes, I find that even when I’ve let the thing drop and go, the other person may not be in the same place. When the other person brought up the thing again, and I said “let’s just let it go. let’s just drop it.”, they may feel offended even. What do you do in such cases? Thanks, Gabby.

  35. I know this is an old video, but I just watched today. This really helps me with my relationship with my brother. We’ve always have butted heads and my ego always gets in the way with mending our relationship, moving on and letting go with the anger. I’m glad to hear your advice! Thank you for all you do!

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