How to Detach from Outcomes and Manifest Your Desires

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Note: Updated in July 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

Do you struggle to detach from outcomes? I see so many people try to control the outcomes of situations. They manipulate circumstances, they obsess and they freak out if things don’t go their way.

If you have a hard time letting go and accepting the way things unfold, this is for you. I want to help you let you go and learn how to let the Universe do its thing.

How are you attached to outcomes?

So get honest with yourself right now. In what ways are you obsessing over an outcome?

Are you attached to something happening in the timeframe you’re comfortable with?

Are you fixated on someone doing something in the way you want?

You may be trying to control an outcome in an effort to avoid anxiety. You might think a situation has to play out a certain way and will be a disaster if it doesn’t, so you monitor every little detail.

Obsessing over outcomes only makes us anxious

But in reality, obsessing over outcomes only exacerbates our anxiety. Anxiety is inevitable when we live like this, because we’re constantly on high alert. Our anxious state sends a vibrational message to the Universe that we want more anxiety!

As much as you might think you’re controlling in order not to feel anxious or disappointed, the Universe responds only to energy. And it gives you more of whatever you’re putting out.

As a result of not being able to detach from outcomes, you actually block your ability to manifest your desires and co-create with the Universe.

How to detach from outcomes

If we want to manifest the reality we want, we must be in an energy of detachment. In this energy, we become willing to allow and receive.

Watch the video below or keep reading to learn how to detach from outcomes. When you practice this two-step process, you will live with ease and confidence. And you’ll manifest your desires!

Step 1: Recognize how you’re attached to the outcome

Before you can detach from an outcome, you have to get honest about you’re attached to it. Maybe you post in the comments below and just get honest with me, and get honest with yourself. “I’m obsessed with the outcome of this. I’ve been flipping out over the outcome of this.”

Then start to pay attention to how that attachment is affecting your energy and your vibrational frequency. How is it making you feel? You can start to see how it’s not serving you and how it may be blocking you from manifesting your desires.

Step 2: Surrender the attachment with prayer

The next step is to surrender it fully. This is so simple. It’s just a prayer. You can say this prayer daily for the next 30 days if you want to detach from an outcome. Just say: “I surrender this attachment, and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do.”

Tweet: I surrender my attachments and allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do @gabbybernstein #TheUniverseHasYourBack

That simple prayer will shift your energy immediately. It’s the intermediary between you and the voice of your higher self so that you can actually allow and let go. In that space of allowing and letting go, you start to come into an energy frequency that is receptive and detached. You start to vibrate with the Universe and manifesting your desires. You trust the Universe with the details.

As you practice detaching from the outcome, you’ll start to see many beautiful miracles begin to unfold in your life. Pay attention to how those miracles unfold! Look out for them. Do not dismiss anything. Celebrate each one. Express gratitude for each one. You can come back to this blog and share with me how you detached from the outcome and what miracles you manifested.

Learn the Art of Manifesting in my online workshop!

In the video above, I talk about a workshop I hosted before my #1 New York Times bestselling book, The Universe Has Your Back, came out. I’m happy to say that the workshop is still online and still free when you order the book!

Click here to order The Universe Has Your Back and get immediate, lifetime access to my Art of Manifesting online workshop. This workshop is valued at $149, but it’s FREE when you order the book!

In this 2-hour video workshop, I teach you how to:

  • Clear away all the blocks to your attracting power
  • Retrain your thoughts and energy to attract exactly what you want into your life
  • Become a magnet for miracles

Click here to get the book and workshop!

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87 COMMENTS

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  1. I was watching the Videos from Eric Ho, You must have heard About him. I had Problems or worries to get totally detached from the Output of my visualisation. Your post really helped me. Thank you Gabby 🙂

    Greetings from Istanbul

  2. I’ve been working very hard on detachment over the last couple of days and decided to burn a precious card ( mentioning perfect boyfriend) after it had been in my god box for over a week .. the decision to burn it was very hard .. but I did.. or at least I tried .. it would not burn even though I held the flame into it for a long time ..
    Do I try again or take it as a sign ?

    1. Mark, I honor you for committing to surrendering outcomes. If you don’t want to burn it, you could flush the paper. Check out chapter 11 in my book, The Universe Has Your Back for more guidance. Continuing to make surrender a daily practice will serve you as well. Expect miracles.

  3. I really tried to manifest a yes on one thing in my life. I had a really good feeling about it, I meditated and tried to feel the feeling but I got a no. So maybe I was to attach to the outcome? But I had a really good feeling so I don’t know if I did something wrong with something…

    1. Please be patient and gentle with yourself as you try new things and move into new spiritual practices. A great way to get into a manifesting groove is by daily meditation and prayer. <3

      1. I meditate everyday, not for long but at least I try to do more than 10 minutes. I have tried to understand that it wasn’t my time to get a “yes” now, even I wanted it. Like you say Gabby “It’s this or something better.” Universe has another plan for me. So I will keep meditation, say affirmations and hope that they lead me in the right direction<3

  4. Thank you for this video! I surrender my attachment to a romantic relationship with a man I’ve been dating. I feel myself growing more attached recently, and the feeling doesn’t sit well with me, so this came at just the right time. Verbally stating and journaling this mantra. Sat nam.

  5. We so needed to hear this. We’ve gotten a lot better with releasing, being in the present and trusting. Love the prayer! Thank you for this and the workshop sounds awesome as does your new book. Thank you for all that you do.

  6. Thank you for this video. Your emails always seem to come when I need them most. I am currently obsessed with the outcome of my husbands job situation. He is going for a job that we as a family need and he deserves. We are waiting to hear if he is going to get the job and it is taking a long time. I am so anxious and I am obsessed with if he does not get the job what we will do. It is ruling all of my thoughts every day all day. I am going to try very hard to let it go and “let the universe do her thing.”xoxo

  7. Hi Gabby, thank you so much for posting this at this moment, we all needed it. I am so grateful for the work I am able to do with the SJMC Digital course, its been a real blessing. The outcome issue I am having is that I have hardly anyone visiting my blog and people are still not posting very much on my Facebook group page. I am just wondering if I am feeding the wrong vibrations out into the universe? I believe I am on the right path, but I am also questioning my process. Thank you. Carol

  8. I took a terrible fall at a very large chain store breaking my shoulder in two places and the humerus head in 5. I had to have surgery and just found out I have to have a second surgery. This is a 6 month to year recovery, it’s my right arm and I have no use of my arm and won’t for a long time. I have been struggling with the pursuit of a lawsuit because the case is very complicated with proving how I fell. It’s has been driving me crazy and it is creating a lot of anxiety. Dealing with attorneys and the people at the chain store has been very tough. I can’t begin to express how timely this video is for me and what a tremendous help and comfort it is. Thank you for all of the work you do Gabby. I’m always inspired by you and very grateful for this video. xo

  9. I am a very independent and motivated person so I constantly struggle with knowing when to let go and trust in the universe and when to take control of my own life and be proactive to make things happen. Do others feel this way? I sometimes think that we are given such mixed messages in this society! Would love to know how others who find themselves in these situations know when to detach vs taking control of situations.

    Thanks!

  10. Thank you so very much, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. Everything comes when you are ready to hear it!! I have been detached with wanting to help others and build my business, but in the process I have focused on that so much, that because it is not happening like it is for others, I feel down, and like I’m not good enough. That others do not want to be part of my team. By feeling this way, it has put it out to the universe, so I am reflecting to others just what I didn’t want. So I am releasing myself of this outcome, the universe will provide to me exactly what I need and when I need it.
    Bless you!!

  11. Thank you soooo much for this tool/prayer. It was well needed for me, been starting a new relationship and being a recovering codependent person it can be really hard. I find myself in obsessions and then shaming me from being in the obsession. Hoping that I will recover soon !! Haha *impatient*

    Light and love !

  12. This came at such the right time for me. A whole list of things I am attached to outcomes streamed through my mind. But then I got a kind of sad, unsure feeling – what do I do with goals,dreams and visions? Is my vision board, which I create to give me clarity just a giant board of outcomes? Yikes! Help!

  13. Hi Gabby, I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago on my coaching page about detaching from outcomes, recognising in myself that I was attached to a particular outcome one day with a person i’m dating. I’ve since found I’ve been triggered way too much by this person, with issues from a past relationship that I am projecting onto this relationship because he is reminding me of my ex in so many ways. I’ve stood in my boundaries with him, that I didn’t do with my ex. However I just keep finding myself attaching to an outcome over and over and feel like I am in a constant practice of letting go letting go letting go. I’m exhausting myself, and I am sure he is beginning to think I’m nuts. You were so right when you said that our intimate relationships are our biggest spaces for spiritual growth. I’m beginning to think life is so much easier when I’m single and not being triggered, or wanting to attach.

  14. I surrender my attachment to getting pregnant. After stopping fertility and then getting pregnant just to miscarry shortly afterward u have been focusing way too much energy on getting pregnant again. I know this is no longer serving me.

  15. My energy is horrible!! I am consumed & obsessed with how miserable and fat I am. Just when I feel like I’m starting to shift back to positivity, I feel like I get sucker punched right in the face.
    I’m obsessed with how much of a failure I feel like, yet I don’t feel motivated to change. I’m super comfy in this nasty space and I HATE it!!!!
    Please help!

  16. I want to let go of my obsession about finding a mate. When I do, I question my ability to be attractive, etc. This video is just what I needed. Thank you so much for sharing.

  17. I am obsessed with multi-tasking. I.e. doing make up while I’m watching (listening) this video. Texting while I’m listening. so after wise I realize that I wasn’t really paying attention, then ended up watching it all over again. BE IN NOW!!!!

  18. Thank you for all of Mantras. I feel like I am so close to detaching from all that has brought me friction in my life. I have one last attachment that has been sewn into my heart. It is a man, the love of my life. We have had many ups and downs. I have been doing the inner work on myself and I know that he tries as well. My attachment to the outcome of: him seeing some light in his life, is very hard, sad and exhausting at times for me. I want to be able to stay and grow with him. I see a spark and then it is gone. It is somewhat, a dangling carrot. This attachment comes with many prayers for him. Visions of mine that see him being able to be happy in the present and not keep waiting for his biggest attachment to appear, for him to be happy NOW. I see that it is holding him back. I want to light the path for him to find love,gratitude and happiness in his day to day moments, instead of waiting for the big payout. I know I need to find a way to let go but still keep my faith in him finding the light. Any suggestions?

  19. Timing couldn’t be better! This prayer is exactly what I needed. I have been in a cycle of allowing and blocking for the past month. When I allow… the next right action is shown to me. But then I start thinking of all the ways this will play out and as you said anxiety and discomfort ensues. I have been attaching myself to certain roles I want and the people I need to get in front of. Taking appropriate action but NOT letting go of the result. Thank you so much. I will commit to turning this over daily along with some other things.

  20. So true. Since reading / applying ACIM and reading / watching your videos I feel much happier, less stressed and achieving results. Once you unlock you automatically attract and receive . I’m new in the ways and didn’t believe it at first but six months later I’m staring to get it . In some cases the penny has only just dropped to a clip of yours I properly watch months ago. Thank you ….my journey started with you and I’m so into it but also acknowledge I’m still a newbie!!

  21. Thank you. I sm planning s holiday with my husband and trying to plan the agenda so that we can have a great time, but shouldn’t it be that because we are together in holiday mode be enough? I am letting go and letting us enjoy every moment as it comes because I trust that life will unfold many beautiful moments together. Peace and love to all.

  22. I was totally attached to fear for a good portion of the last 6 years. That fear forced me to try to control outcomes in all areas of my life. Now, thanks to a lot of work, the Hoffman Process and your books Gabby (I am re-reading May Cause Miracles for what must be the sixth time!)… I am starting to free myself from the false perceptions my ego has created to keep me stuck.
    Because I have (finally!) made a conscious commitment to get unstuck, I see and feel an opening in all those areas that were not manifesting anything. More work (the kind I really want to do) and more collaborative connections are coming my way. I now have fresh excitement for the future! xx

  23. I am intérested in thé workshop. Will it be avala iblé in replay as I am based in Spain and sometime the live streaming does not work. Thank you.

  24. I surrender my attachment to finding the perfect soulmate NOW. I’ll try to relax and beleive that the universe will bring me a fabulous Love and we will create a fun family on the Universe’s schedule. In the mean time I’ll try to enjoy where I am in the present. This feels like a tough one, but I bet if I just let go, it can be easy.

  25. Thank you Gabby, I’ve been attached to the idea of caring a lot about what people think once I release my website that includes my life story. I’m also attached to receiving the outcome I would like from the self development work that I’m currently doing.

  26. The fear of changing positions and realizing I’m not going to be an expert to begin with is causing me to hyper focus on preparation. I need to let go and trust that I will be guided rather than allowing my insecurities and awareness of being new at something consume my mindset.

  27. Have the opportunity to purchase a property by the ocean that’s available right now, and this would be my life long dream come true, but instead of saying yes I am obsessing about finding a job there and if this is the right time to make the move. I’ve made previous mistakes in the past and now doubt my decision making processes. My delay in making a decision means And getting it right means I could miss this opportunity altogether. The pressure is real, the anxiety is high and in the end I’m the only one who can make the choice.

  28. Once again, this has come to me in perfect timing! There is a relationship with which I have been completely attached to the outcome for many years. I have been letting go, layer by layer, but still have a way to go. The prayer you offered here is just the right thing. I commit now to saying this daily. I surrender this attachment and I allow the Universe to show me where to go and what to do! Thank you, Gabby. I’ll let you know how it goes. Namaste!

    BTW, I’ve pre-ordered the book and am looking forward to the workshop.

  29. I am releasing my attachment to my children’s education, finding a new job and worrying about my finances and home renovation. I am allowing the universe to show me were to go and what to do. Thank you Gabby ! Very inspiring

  30. Dear Gabrielle, thank you so much for your contribution to the Universe! For your time and effort to motivate people to become better human beings and have a better life! That’s so generous!

  31. I love this advice, thank you! Even just listening to the video and thinking about where I was holding on, I could feel a couple of knots in my stomach untie and I was able to take a deep fulfilling breath. I have become attached to feelings of unworthiness in not being able to find and attract a healthy romantic relationship, also notice that I’m overly concerned about my Mother’s new relationship with a partner, wanting him to be perfect for her! (Ugh) and also very attached to how I am seen in terms of my career, trying to please myself and others at the same time. I surrender my attachments and I let the universe guide me and do it’s beautiful work. Sat Nam

  32. I have a serious attachment to my job and to the opinions of my supervisors if I chose my own personal desires over my position. I hate disappointing people and worry about the outcome of the choices I make.

  33. I’m obsessed over whether or not to go to an expensive theatre program and get into a ton of debt. How will I ever be able to pay that debt off? Is it worth it? How do I know if this is the right path for me?. I surrender my attachements and I allow the Universe to show me what to say and what to do. Thank you! Hope this helps!

  34. Thank you Gabby! Just last night I saw this play out with my husband. I’ve been so attached to the outcome of him reading Dr. Shefali’s The Awakened Family book (as I’ve based my work and my interactions with our two children on conscious parenting) that my energy with him has been blocking this. (The irony isn’t lost on me!) However, when I shifted to having a heart-centered conversation about a major discovery I’d made as a result of doing the work, and actually felt myself for once being detached from the outcome of wanting him to read it, he finally agreed to. Asking the question would I rather be happy or right helped me shift my energy and my perspective. Looking forward to your new book as well! Xoxo

  35. Thanks Gabby. I strugglie with this issue. I’ve been looking for a job for over a year now. Will you please clarify–everything I read about the LOA says to write a script as you want things to happen, visualize it, take action and be grateful. Also feel it with intense emotions. Are you saying Ithe best way to manifest is to surrender instead? I’ve pre-ordered your book. Hoping you can give some insight before the class on manifesting. Confused

  36. Hi Gavby,
    I pre ordered my book on the book depository website. So excited. Would I still be able to do the workshop. I’m in New Zealand so would be through the live stream.
    Also doing your digital Masterclass and loving. Hope to make it to New York for level
    Many blessings
    Melissa x

  37. Thank you for sharing your wisdom Gabby!
    I am willing to put the right vibe out there to attract a great job opportunity.
    I am willing to allow the Universe to guide me, I surrender my attachment
    from the outcome as I trust and receive what the Universe has in store.

  38. Hi Gabby, Thanks so much for the vlog. I surrender the outcome for my LSAT exam and anything and everything related to law school and a law career. It’s driving me bonkers and I’m so afraid I’m going to fail and not get into a good school and down the rabbit hole I go. I trust that the Universe has my back and that the best possible outcome will reveal itself!

    xoxo, victoria

  39. I know I am obsessing when I am trying to force solutions. It’s all because I do not want to feel uncomfortable in the not knowing. I have been working with my angels and HP on this one. My God Box is filled to the brim. I am obsessing over my book being published with Hay House.

  40. This is so perfect for me right now. I’m obsessed with knowing what my professional future will bring. I have no idea what decision to make in regards to my master’s and it’s causing me so much anxiety.

  41. So helpful, thank you! I’ve been obsessing about hearing back about a creative project, obsessing about it getting out in the world in the ‘right’ way, being seen.
    Today going through old notes a very obvious new project, new direction to follow, perhaps even better than the project I’ve been forcing, trying to manipulate for so long, came to me. Thank you universe, and Gabby!

  42. I needed this today! I’m 40w1d pregnant and baby isn’t consistently head down. Immediately practicing detachment and surrender for the remainder of this pregnancy.

  43. I’m consumed with thoughts of loneliness and feeling like a failure when it comes to attracting a quality man into my life.
    I surrender my attachment to the exhausting pursuit of happily ever after.

  44. I’m currently attached to the outcome a particular relationship and getting a job out of state. It’s making me feel frazzled, decentered, extremely anxious, unsupported and lonely.

  45. I am attached to wanting positive attention from people, especially men, to validate my desirability, and attached to wanting a committed relationship. I am attached to wanting to be married. I understand and feel in my body how these attachments consume my time and energy and create a loop of suffering. I am walking a path to become the most loving and creative version of myself and I release any attachment to outcomes that are not in alignment with my higher journey.

  46. I’m obsessed with controlling outcomes by worrying about this. This a hard lesson, but a great one. Thank you. xx

  47. I am attached to a romantic relationship that recently ended, which was not the outcome that I wanted. I know this is a common one. Thank you for the video, see you in August!

  48. Hi Gabby. Other spiritual people say “imagine and it’ll become reality” and am I doing this too much to the point it’s becoming obsession? I am confused what I should do to achieve my dreams. I personally would like to let it flow and receive it like you said.

  49. I’ve been attached to the outcome of finding a relationship, but I’ve realized that I just need to trust the universe in order for it to happen. Thanks for the tips Gabby!

  50. I’m attached and flipping out about money! Having invoices paid, getting new clients, getting above water in my bank accounts. I’m living in a panic, not able to afford basics. It’s a waste of my energy to worry and live in anxiety. I know it, but I still get drawn in. I surrender this attachment to this outcome (ugh, even typing this is hard! LOL)

    1. Oooh! I’m right there with ya! I’m always, “but I can’t let this go! They’re my basic NEEDS!” But I can see that I’m blocking that now! So I’m surrendering my attachment to my career and financial outcomes!

  51. I definitely do this when I think too much about an upcoming job interview, or simply where I want to be in my career.

  52. Right now I’m overly attached to my kid’s many food allergies. It’s driving me nuts. It makes me so anxious and sad for him. I feel powerless because I like finding solutions to everything. I surrender my kid’s food allergies and the financial and medical need and support that he needs to the universe. I trust that he will be taken care of.

  53. Hi Gabby!
    I am very attached to the outcome of my career, my living situation and my love life. I see how my attachment to what I think I want is blocking me. I have been praying to God and the universe for help. I surrender my attachments. Things are definitely moving ahead in all three of these areas, I realize as I write this that I am impatient for things to be settled. I am impatient for things to resolved after more than 2 years of being in limbo, upheaval and transformation. My world has been reorganized. I am so grateful to God, my higher power for all the blessings that have come my way. I am thankful for my state of limbo, upheaval and transformation. Without these things, I would not be on the path I am on now. I would not be open to receiving these lessons. But I admit I still have fear for the outcomes. Fear of the unknown. But I am cultivating a state of Being and inner peace that I have never known before. I am tapping into my inner Being, my inner guide and it is so comforting and empowering.
    Sat nam,
    Cathy

  54. Gabby,
    Perfect timing per the usual. Going through SJM digital is really bringing up my desires for shift in my career. I’m feeling stifled by my current work situation, but know I have something BIG to offer. I lead group yoga classes 7 times a week and feel very fulfilled by doing so, but I feel that it is transitioning into a different form or something. I am becoming more obsessed with the outcome of where the universe is guiding me. I’m finding it difficult to be the frequency holder of love and light in a space I know I will not be in for much longer. I would love your feedback!

  55. It’s amazing how I always seem to receive one of your emails with a message that I’m desperately needing to hear at that very moment!
    I woke up feeling very discouraged with my spiritual progress and current love life situation. I’ve been receiving very clear signs that the man I believe is my true love is, in fact, the one. However, I want him to reach out to me, but it’s not happening fast enough. I realize after watching your video I need to detach myself from the timeline I have set for us to be together and to start trying for a baby and allow the universe to do the work. Thanks you!

  56. Gabby so much love and appreciation for you I am a part of The biggest Global Peace Initiative in the world World Parliament on Spirituality I bought your book and can’t wait for the workshop you helped me heal my relationship with my daughter with May Cause Miracles and I am forever grateful I learn to detach and let her live her dreams and she is totally living her dream life in fashion industry in LA blessings to you and yours always and in all ways #OnlyLoveIsReal

  57. So it’s 1 am I’m sitting up alone with a yummy glass of red, writing my business plan and I’m stuck. I have this one hurdle I can’t seem to figure and it was driving me a little cray. But then, I get an email and Gabby saves the day! I am detached and giving it all over to the universe. Thank you. Namaste xxx

  58. Hi Gabby,

    This is a massive issue for me right now. I need to make a big change in my career and the pressure I’m feeling to get it right is immense. I know that this is blocking me to the best possible outcome.

    Sat nam, Catherine x

    1. Law of attraction works when you focus on the feeling that the outcome will give you but not on the outcome itself. Sat nam :>

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