Does dating freak you out? If so, I’ve got three tips to turn your fear around! In this Dear Gabby video I did for Glamour.com in 2015, I offer soulful guidance on how to be a great date.
If you’re already in a relationship or married, use these tips to reignite the spontaneity, authenticity and romantic spark!
You can watch the video below or keep reading for my guidance.
(Please note that this video was shot for my Dear Gabby series on Glamour.com. The site caters primarily to straight women. No matter your sexual orientation, these tips will work for you.)
How to be a great date
Ready to have fun and be a great date?! I have 3 simple and foolproof steps for you.
Step 1: Envision the date
Close your eyes and sit in a moment of stillness. In your mind’s eye, envision the date. See it from the moment he picks you up at the door, all the way through the evening until the moment he drops you off and kisses you goodnight.
Take yourself through the story of what it is that you want to see happen. How do you want to feel when he shows up? What do you want to be doing at dinner? How do you want to see the night turn?
Start to envision this date and hold that vision. And more importantly, rather than being so specific about what you’re doing, get specific about how you’re feeling. Our feelings are what attract our desires!
Get more manifesting guidance in my new book, ‘Super Attractor’
If you want to call in your romantic partner, attract romance or just manifest a really fun dating life, my book Super Attractor (Sept. 2019) is your ultimate guidebook!
In Super Attractor, I lay out methods for manifesting a life beyond your wildest dreams. You’ll learn practices that work FAST and help you to feel really good.
And when you order the book, you also get a free gift: my Manifesting Jumpstart Workshop! This is an empowering 2-hour online workshop that prepares you for the book. It hooks you up with practices you can start using right away.
Step 2: Breathe
Really, all a man wants from you is your authentic truth. The good news is that you can breathe into your truth. Breathe into the feeling of what it is to feel comfortable, to feel confident, to feel at ease.
Before he picks you up or you meet at that restaurant, just get into that space. Take a deep breath and feel in your body: What does it feel like to be me? How does it feel to be genuine? How does it feel to be inspiring and fun and spunky and quirky?
Just get clear. Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel? Take a deep breath and breathe into that feeling. And then throughout the date, just continue to come back to your breath. Come back into that place of “Who am I, and how do I want to feel?” Center back into that presence of truth.
Stay in the moment
Let’s talk about what you don’t want to do. Don’t talk about ex-boyfriends, ever. Why does this new guy need to know about your last guy? This is something I used to do all the time, and it was absolutely ridiculous. Just don’t go there. Be in the present moment and don’t dig up the junk from the past.
Secondly, don’t go future tripping. Don’t mentally walk down the aisle the second he picks you up for the first date. Not only will you freak him out, but you’ll take yourself out of the present moment. You want to be in that stillness and that presence of the moment.
Take this one step at a time. You can be clear on a date that you want a serious relationship and that’s what you’re looking for, but don’t start talking about what you want your wedding to look like and what the flowers are going to be and how it’s going to feel when you walk down the aisle.
Step 3: Don’t pretend to be someone else
Then the final step is don’t pretend to be anybody other than you. I used to do this thing when I was dating where I would try to be the cool girl. Actually, it was so uncool because I was always trying to be something.
The moment you relax and stop trying to be some version of yourself that you think is cooler, smarter, sexier or whatever else, that’s the moment when you start having fun on your date!
Release fear around romance and start MediDating!
If you’re ready to release fear around romance and have more fun while dating, check out my MediDating meditation album!
In this 11-track album I help you release romantic illusions, overcome fears and insecurities, activate your attracting power and manifest love into your life.
Through simple breathing exercises, visualizations and mental reconditioning, you’ll simplify and enhance your dating experiences, all the while using your inner guidance to find the perfect partner!