The Fun and Spiritual Way to Release Fear Fast

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Note: Updated in November 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

I recorded the video below just after my wedding. Even though they’re beautiful and full of love, weddings can bring up a lot of old fears!

Throughout the process of planning my wedding, and on my wedding day, I leaned on my spiritual tools. I turned to lessons from A Course in Miracles to release my ancient limiting beliefs and laugh at my ego’s tiny mad ideas!

You don’t have to be planning a huge event or making a major life change to benefit greatly from the process I offer up in this post. The spiritual approach to fear always offers the most profound solutions.

My spiritual process for releasing fear

Watch the video below or keep reading to learn my spiritual process for releasing fear.

Our work is to detach from fear

Wherever you are, whatever’s going on, in some way you are likely feeling fear. Maybe you are totally plagued by fear. Maybe it’s just sort of creeping into your mind in really funky ways. In 12-step programs they say that fear will be doing push-ups while you sleep. Does that resonate or what?

We wake up in the morning with pangs of anxiety, or we experience something that triggers a thought that leads us down a crazy road of negativity. It leads us to really scary places that are created by our own belief in fear.

Believing in fear is a choice that you make. This is not to say that there aren’t natural fears. There’s a good reason we’re scared of putting our hand in fire or running into the middle of the street. We have that smart part of our brain that says, “No, don’t go there.” Listen to it.

But then there is this whole other element of fear that’s so layered and so deep within our psyche that we’ve been carrying with us for decades. And it is completely unnecessary. It’s a belief system based on fear from the past. We reorganize and re-create this fear the present and we project it onto the future.

Therefore, our work is to detach from that fear.

How to release fear with laughter

One of my favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles is to laugh at the ego’s “tiny, mad ideas.” From the perspective of the Course, the ego and fear are synonymous. The ego is that fear-based voice that shows up that that keeps us small and keeps us stuck.

And so our job is to laugh at the ego’s tiny, mad ideas! What an amazing concept to just let ourselves laugh at these mad ideas, to look at them and say how insane they are. Sometimes the idea is so deeply ingrained in us that it’s hard to laugh.

But if we can begin to see our way out, if we can think our way out or talk our way out, then we can get to a place where we can laugh. It’s our job to see the insanity.

In that experience of witnessing the insanity, we learn how to detach from the stronghold that fear has on us. We can start to see the world differently with a simple shift in perspective. If the fear is very deeply ingrained, you can begin with a surrender practice. Surrender to the Universe and ask for help in releasing that fear.

Begin to be that witness who is ready at all times to laugh at the chaos. To laugh at the tiny, mad ideas.

Tweet: The fun and spiritual way to release fear fast! @gabbybernstein

Step 1: Write down your fear

Take a moment to write down the fear that’s plaguing you the most today. What is it? The fear of being alone, the fear of losing your job, the fear of not having enough money, the fear of not having your body the way you want it to be. What is the fear? Write it down.

You can keep the fear private, written down in your notebook for yourself. Or you can list that fear on the comments below. Whatever you feel called to do. Put it out there. Outing your ego is very powerful.

Step 2: Identify all the reasons your fear is nuts!

And then look at your fear and start to identify all the reasons why it’s totally nuts. Why you can laugh. In what ways can you laugh at this chaos?

Let’s take an example. For instance, let’s say your fear is, “I’m afraid I’m going lose my job.” Look at that fear and say, “Okay, well, I have no signs of losing my job, I have a lot of security, I feel good about myself, I do a good job at work, this is not the worst time for my company.”

Start to see all the reasons why this is an insane idea. And in those moments when you can just pinpoint the insanity, you can start to laugh. And let yourself laugh at that chaos. One positive thought at a time, you can laugh at the tiny, mad idea.

This is a fast, fun way of releasing fear!

Again: Our job to reorganize the fear story and reframe that script so that we can start to tell a new story. In fact, really, our job is to let go of that old story and let the Universe write a new one for us!

But first we just need to laugh at that tiny, mad idea.

Bonus step #3: Out your ego to a friend

Sometimes a great exercise is to call a friend and say, “Okay, I’m gonna out my ego, it’s totally insane, can we laugh about it?” And your friend can help you get there.

I often get on the phone with a friend and I’m like, “Can you just see how freaking insane that is?” And together we laugh. It’s fun, it works fast and it feels good. The spiritual solution is always there for you.

The Miracle Membership makes it easy to find spiritual solutions!

I’ve made it super easy to find the spiritual solution anywhere, anytime! I created my Miracle Membership to help you stay consistent on your spiritual path and get brand-new content from me every month.

As a Miracle Member you can find the right lesson, meditation or spiritual tool for any fear or problem, anytime. You will get full access to the archives and you can join the private, high-vibe Facebook group, where you can out your ego anytime and get tons of support.

Learn all about the Miracle Membership!

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353 COMMENTS

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  1. My fear….I am now studying this new world of mine for 6 years now….I have lots of books and attended many ,many seminars & lectures. I just came back from Sedona , Arizona I attended an amazing retreat with communicating with Angels, I meditated in the most powerful vortexes. Now the lady who held the retreat feels that her & I can start our own lectures and seminars. Which I am so excited about because my passion is spreading LOVE & LIGHT!! my fear is will I be good enough for her & the people??? Which I do know I can help people because I started with myself & now all i witness is miracles everyday! Living here in Staten Island has been my challenge because i deal with a lot of catholics and they”re extremely closed minded, how i know this is because was once there myself….Gabby can I borrow some of your confidence & the way you inspire everyone??? I seen you for the first ti,e this October before I left for Sedona and GIRL you so speak my language!!! BRAVO!!!!! You def are a star seed !!!!

  2. I’m afraid of rejection / Fear of Money…weird b/c I’m a people magnet and people seem quite drawn to me in a likeable manner and I was just blessed with a large sum of money mysteriously in my bank account!

  3. Hi Gabby,

    Congratulations on getting married — you two make such a beautiful couple and serve as an amazing example of fearless unconditional love and commitment. In ‘May Cause Miracles’ you mentioned that you were guided to revisit the relationship with your boyfriend, now husband. Could you please elaborate how this guidance came to you at the time and how you knew you could trust it? Thanks so much 🙂

  4. I am afraid that I will never discover what my passion is, and I will continue to live a mediocre life. I am afraid that this is it.

  5. My fear is that I will not find my way in this world. With that, I mean my way to make money and be happy. Have been on sickleave for 2 years, simply because working without passion makes me super sad. I have not degree, and could, if I wanted to, get one. But I do not know what to do with my self in this world. I’m so stuck, and have been all my adult life. So that is my fear, that even how hard I am trying to find my passion and bliss, and to find a way to survive on it, I am not moving forward. We live in a material world, and I don’t fit in anywhere. Just leaching on daddy government..and it helps now reducing the stress, but still, the fear of not getting out of this is paralyzing.

  6. I am a 32 yrs old and have slowly become addicted to my migraine medicine. Was not intentional but cannot go a day without. Has been years. I feel like an awful wife and mother and think all day about this. It is so engraved in my mind that I cannot go without it or will feel too weird if that makes sense. How do I change my thoughts when this is all I think about? Want to get through this so bad but am extremely anxious. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

  7. Well….here goes nothing.

    At 42, I am sitting here feeling I am at rock bottom….all because of something I have carried since I was 21.

    I had just walked in from my summer waitressing job after working the breakfast shift. My mother was waiting for me with “something she felt she had to share” (Some background, I was mostly raised by mother/stepfather and 4 half siblings….they were hippies when I was younger than became overnight Fundamental Christians when I was in my early teen years due to “seeing the devil” during a drug binge) My parents, at this time, were attending a church that embraced pre-destination, end times, the Rapture, etc. Sooo…my mother shared, that after talking with her pastor, my old Sunday School teachers (I had stopped going to their church at 18), and the church elders that HER punishment for raising me as a “hippy ungodly child” was that I was forever, completely, and utterly “unsavable” and “would be sent to the pits of hell upon my death” That no matter what I accomplished in my life or what good deeds I did….I was unlovable in the eyes of God. (“Jacob have I loved but Esu have I hated” and all that)

    I wish I could tell you that I laughed if off…but inside my head the whole time she was “lovingly” sharing this with me I was thinking, “of course…this all makes sense now…my innate sense of not being good enough…of being different…outside…well…..yes…THIS was the reason…it was my biggest fear made tangible….that I was flawed/cursed/inwardly deformed and completely unlovable….even by those that were supposed to love me unconditionally.

    I could on about the effects of this…but I won’t. Needles to say, I am a workaholic perfectionist who pleases everyone but herself…whose EVERY life decision comes from a place of fear…like a wild animal trapped in the corner fighting for their life. I value security…don’t take risks….and being “irresponsible” is not an option. I feel like a walk around with a scarlet “U” tattoo (Unlovable/Unworthy) that I keep hidden under my clothes.

    I am having a hard time, honestly, trying to laugh at this..unless hysteria counts as laughing-LOL. But I just bought your MCM book today…so hopefully this will bring me to a place of peace and at least self tolerance (self love is a bit of stretch for me right now)

    Blessed Be!

  8. I am afraid of my student loans, that they will cripple my future. I am afraid the I will not be good enough to land a nice job. However, I am still in school. These fears are not rooted in anything that is real- I know I am allowing fear to root itself into my future, which does not exist yet. Thank you for the video!

  9. I just got married in July, and I am so afraid of losing my new husband. I’ve been in multiple terrible relationships in the past, and my parent’s divorce was devastatingly long and painful, and I find myself scarred from these experiences. The fear of both of these things resurrecting themselves in my marriage is paralyzing.

    1. these fears are not real. they are based on past experiences that are not your current reality. it is time for you to accept that you can re-write the script and have a life that is different than your past or your parent’s experience. you can claim a new experience now. celebrate your marriage and every day pray to release your fears. one day at a time surrender your fears and accept the greatness of your new marriage. i also recommend that you read (or re-read) the power of now by ekhart tolle. that book is perfect for where you are right now. http://amzn.to/1gVhMQ2

      1. Thank you Gabby… How inspiring to have gotten a response from you. Your words are reassurance that if I listen to my ~ing and surrender my fears and reach out, I will be guided to what I need. Your message is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for all that you and your work have done for me so far.

  10. I’m afraid of my student loans, and afraid that I am not smart enough to find a good job that I enjoy. But, I am still in school. These are irrational fears from the present that I am projecting into my future. Thanks for the video!

  11. Money and always trying to fill my own shoes. These two have taunted me all my life. My job is self fullfilling but not financially. I am always striving for success and the need to fill my shoes/others. What I mean is, is that I know many successful people and most I them are my personal greatest friends. They are very smart, intuitive, creative, successful, confident and $$$. Though, I always feel like I am the outsider (fear) because of my lack in many of these areas.

    I feel lost in my own mind at times!

    ????

    Lora

  12. I am in the process of separating from my husband.
    My fear is not being able to stand on my own feet with my current financial situation (I have a full time job but I need one that pays more). And other other is that I feel like I am losing the love of my life.

  13. I so love this I will definitely have a laugh on my ego. I can see mySelf calling a friend and laughing together. I can also see sharing this insight. It is so freeing. Thanks

  14. I’m afraid that I will lose the guy I’m in love with because I don’t pursue him while I’m also afraid he doesn’t have the courage to pursue me.

  15. I am affraid that I will always live with depresssion and anxiety. That I am not strong enough to win this battle. That I will not experience the feeling of true hapiness inside.

  16. I am afraid as I feel I have so much to do. I have a new job in France and there’s so much to sort out. I am afraid that I won’t have enough money or things won’t go to plan. I am afraid that I won’t be able to sort my phone ,bank, flights out etc. I am willing to see how my ego is blowing these things out of proportion and I am willing to ask Spirit for help and for Peace xx

  17. I am fearful that I am not living an inspiring enough life. I have always felt like I was supposed to do my own thing to make my mark and make a difference. I have alway in the past started new initiatives because I have big ideas that are philanthropic and non-profit based or for start ups. I have a big innovative idea to create a prototype that will help with runner safety but have fear about when to start it, who to connect with as well as who would be interested in serving as my mentor. I also, work full time at an ad agency and am growing so much and able to help so many different companies. I have fear about when the right time to do it is, who to connect with, as well as next steps.

  18. Hi Gabby! I’m 21 years old but I’m afraid of ending alone and don’t find a good boy or don’t have the oportunity to live a good love story. Do you have any recomandation for me? Thanks a lot. I really enjoy and appreciate your job.

  19. Gabby, I feel like I should congratulate you. I am very happy for you, but am at the same time very confused. One thing I haven’t figured out yet even though I am mostly through MCM and have started Disappearance of the Universe and The Universe is a Dream: how does marriage work under the Course’s principles? Isn’t the very act of choosing one person as a partner almost the definition of a special relationship? Is it just an ok choice to make if it assists you both on your spiritual journeys? Conversely, I am very happy with my marriage but I have been challenged in figuring out how my relationship with my wife should exist compared to my relationships with others. I feel like acceptance that there is nothing special between us kind of invalidates the point of marriage. Maybe this is all just “special” thinking and I need to shift my viewpoint somehow…
    At least she is on this journey with me, but I’m maybe a bit afraid that we’re not going to come to the same realizations at the same time, so one of us could feel stranded because the other suddenly relinquishes special relationships and the other still feels the need for that support.

  20. I fear not being physically good enough/unattractive. I fear not being successful, that I will not amount to anything of success. I fear not having enough money && always struggling.

  21. I have a fear of being accepted and understood in my vision. I have had a successful children’s and prenatal yoga studio but I feel guided to open a new business that inspires. I want to help people find their happiness. I can see The Spirit Room clearly in my mind, buy verbally communicating my message is incredible difficult. People who know me constant tell me that I have a gift in finding balance in life and pointing it out in a helpful way. But when anyone asks what do you do? I immediately get heart palpitations and begin to feel uncomfortable. I normally just say, “I teach yoga” and leave it at that. Yoga is about a tenth of what I do and want to do, but it does not require me to explain. How do I clear my anxiety with discussing my path and fear of judgement?

    1. Amy, it’s good you recognize it is your fear of judgement (but maybe other fears are there, too) as the culprit. I think the insanity there is that your ego is telling you other people’s thoughts about you and your capabilities actually have some affect on your being. But that’s very illogical (the ego’s specialty!) because if you really were that afraid of what other people thought, you wouldn’t be doing it in the first place! You are on the path already, something that so many others struggle with even starting. There are others on the path you *want* to be on, and they probably feel the same as you toward their next goal! Every step will tempt new fears, but you have the advantage that the fears you have beaten should make the new ones easier to handle. You learned yoga, and the naysayers (including your ego!) didn’t stop you; you opened your own studio, and the naysayers didn’t stop you; you will __________, and the naysayers won’t stop you!
      Maybe your real fear is that *they won’t listen*. You want to get your message out, but either don’t know how to articulate it or that people won’t hear what you want them to hear, or that they won’t listen either way, or a hundred thousand other things. Well, you can’t control that. They will understand when they are ready to understand. You can’t identify who will listen and who won’t until you get it out there. Some will be ready, possibly many more will not. Their insanity is that they are probably AFRAID of accepting or following your path because it might invalidate their own or force them to face uncomfortable truths. But hey, that’s a key point in finding happiness, which is what you want to do all along! So for all you know, they bash your ideals all over the sidewalk, and you go home sad, and they go home feeling bad or angry, churn over their outburst in their minds with their guilt, and eventually recognize that their fears are controlling them and need to be faced to allow them their happiness. Mission accomplished 😀
      I love responding to these because I see my own fears here, and feel like it gives me a way to express and then address my own fears and insanity! You know what my biggest one probably is? That I’m a hypocrite because I can talk all this and hopefully provide a motivating message to others…but doing it myself is infinitely harder. How’s that for insanity?!

  22. I recently “realized” that I am in love with an ex-boyfriend. The bigger part of me knows that he feels the same way and that we are meant to be, but another part of me feels that we have gone thru this many times in this lifetime and in past lives and for some reason it doesn’t stick.

    I am open and receptive to love, but I don’t know if I am cheating myself by being open and receptive to love in general or if I should just stick to focusing on Brian.

    I am afraid of not fully focusing on what I want and then it not manifesting.

  23. I fear I won’t be able to survive financially post-divorce. I fear that I will continue to spin in a career I hate, just b/c it’s ‘all I know’ and provides a decent income (security). I fear I’ll never be never find happiness, though I try so very hard to.

  24. Great video, wise words Gabby. As per our brief chat in NYC, I would love to do an interview on WomenOnTheFence.com. Your voice is very relevant- our community looks for strategies to get unstuck, off the fence, and thriving in life, and I think you represent this so perfectly. I look forward to hearing back. You may also view other interviews at http://WomenOnTheFence.com/category/interviews.

    Thanks Gabby!

    Hugs,
    Erica

  25. I really want to leave my job teaching music to perform full-time, but I’m afraid that if I choose to leave I will a) not make a living as a performer b) will damage my current relationships with my students/parents in trying to leave c) will have to return to teaching and will struggle again to find students if they don’t want to take me back d) the fact that i would have to return to teaching is not fun in itself!

  26. I am fearful that my spending habits are putting me in a scary path of self sabotage. I use spending like I used to use alcohol and I fear I’m out if control.

  27. I am scared of failure. I just started a yoga teacher training course and can’t seem to find confidence in myself when teaching. I want to succeed so badly for a better future for myself and my family.

    1. Hi Lauren,
      I had that same fear when I was in my yoga teacher training 12 years ago. My fear came especially when I adjusted people. I was so nervous that they would feel my fear and anxiety. Then before one of my observation teaching classes, I prayed for God to go through me, to my students and not let them feel my fear only His love. After the class, 3 students approached me at separate times and said, “I felt so much love coming from you when you came by and adjusted me.” I knew then that my teaching yoga was a talent God had given me to serve others. I found my confidence by giving it up to God and knowing that I was doing exactly what I should be doing in service to help others feel good and love. I hope this helps. Enjoy your training!

  28. My ego has me in fear that I won’t spend my time wisely. I’m in a consistent mild panic that I’ll “waste” my time and live a mediocre, uninspired, boring existence. This is insane! It’s only the fear that could make this so because I lose the beauty of just being when I’m in that space. Now that I’m writing this I see that it’s also part of my ego’s need to be special and “above-average” which puts me in competition with my brothers and sisters that I am here to love. It’s a competition with no winners. Darn you crafty ego!

  29. I’m afraid of death! It’s so final when we are here without that special person/friend. My dog is getting old and it scares me! I’ve lost about 6 dogs and it’s very tough when they’re gone.

  30. I fear that I failed my marriage, and that if we decide to divorce I fear I will be alone the rest of my life and will never truly have the family I desire, and the closeness I desire with another person.

  31. Iam pregnant (planed), my partner of 7 years broke up with me on the phone after 2 weeks of knowing that iam pregnant. I am in a different country because of him, i dont speak the language and i just came out of career change means i have a job which cant support me and the baby. I have to decide till tomorrow if i want to keep the baby. My fear is to make the wrong decision

  32. I fear I won’t make any new friends, I moved across the country been here for two months, finding it so hard to be courageous and get myself out there to even start socializing.

  33. Im so afraid of being cheated on that i keep sabotaging my relationship and always doubting that my boyfriend just wants me. It’s been better but it keeps hunting me. He is younger than me and i keep thinking all this crazy things of him leaving me for someone younger. My dad was a very macho creative liar and I know that is the root of that, but i have to get rid of this doubt because i deserve better!
    I’m also searching for my life path and feel lost, I’m a nanny and im good at it but I dont like my job and want something better and that i feel passionate about and I fear that I’ll be stuck in this still place I’m in right now.
    Help!

  34. What do I do if I out my fear, but it is only a “surface fear,” just covering up my true fear underneath?

    For example, my fear from today is that I will never be skinny again. Well, I feel like that is not what I am really afraid of. Instead, I am really afraid of maybe not being good enough, not finding myself attractive, etc., but I don’t know how to figure out what this underlying fear is!

    What do you suggest?

    Thank you, you are awesome!
    Namaste, Rachel

  35. I am not going to settle for anymore flings because what I really want is a deep and intimate connection with someone. However, I’m afraid of getting involved with someone seriously because I don’t want to make all the same mistakes I made in my last relationship. This is silly because I have worked my butt off to become more aware of myself in this world listen to my inner guide, and make more intent choices. I deserve to try my best (whatever that is) and know that I will be supported no matter the outcome. As long as I keep doing what I’m doing I will be aware of certain paths that look familiar. I have changed so much, and I realize that change is inevitable and fear is nonsense. Ahhhh feels good to say it!

  36. I’m scared of not doing well in school…of not getting perfect A’s in my Master’s program. I think i am scared of the embarrassment of not being the perfect version of myself that I want

  37. I am totally gripped with the fear that I will not ever be in a relationship. It has been about 7 years since I have been in a serious, deep relationship and I want that kind of connection so badly but have become almost convinced that it is not possible for me to have this because it has been so long and I have formed my identity around the story of being single. I find my ego doing a lot of crazy things with this fear. It will have me grip onto the concept of a romantic partner like it is the only good thing that is or could be in my life. It encourages me to isolate and then dramatizes my loneliness and makes it a bitter and embarrassing experience. Alternatively, it leads me to act out through casual hook ups. I am willing to see this differently. I am willing to see my romantic love with ease, abundance and joy.

  38. My fear is that I haven’t hit my bottom and it is hard to laugh about it after 4-1/2 years in recovery. My Son has 6 days today and I fear that if he makes it, I will end up failing both of us. Nothing to laugh about 🙁

    I hope this dosen’t get posted to my Facebook, as my annonimity was outted before from this sight in the reply you sent.
    Please use my email if you care too comment. Thanks Gab,
    Namaste’,
    Caren

  39. I am most likely going to have to declare bankruptcy in my 5 year old business within the next few months. I’m afraid of the messy, complicated process, and the fact that I will be left with nothing.

  40. I am afraid of my dream, which is to be a self-employed graphic designer. I want this so much! I seem unable to fully go for it though, procrastinating, wasting time. Maybe I am afraid of failure. And a little afraid of being successful. I’m afraid of never being fully independent (right now am dependent on parents). I’m afraid of being vulnerable in friendships and relationships.

    All of this is SO ridiculous that I’m trying to laugh at it. I have been holding back and it’s time to live in love and not in fear. Thanks for the video.

  41. Ok, I’m going to “put my ego out there”. I’m afraid of not being a successful light worker and failing in my business. I’m afraid to take up a job that I hate in order to make money while building my business and clientele because I’m afraid of not making enough money to support myself. I’m afraid of being alone and not being able to share my life with someone because I continue to attract men who are unable to love and support me in a mature and healthy relationship.

  42. I’m afraid of not finding a steady job after I graduate. I am graduating in December, going on an (unpaid) internship from January to the end of March, and after that is open for anything. I have time because of the internship to figure out what I am going to do, but I just want to start making money. I have ideas of little things I want to do: sign up for Institute of Integrative Nutrition, get my Group Fitness Certification, Pilates Certification, and teach group fitness classes somewhere – those are 4 of my goals. But none of them will really make real money. Money I can live off of. I’m feeling a little bit lost in that sense. But at the same time, I know I will have a good degree in Biology and I have this incredible internship opportunity in South Africa – maybe that will pave the way for a career? Here’s to hoping!

  43. I have such a fear that my depression will come back that I bring it on through the anxiety it creates. Vicious cycle. Today I am going to try to laugh at the idea of my depression chasing me down the street. All I have to do is turn around and scream NO and watch it turn and walk away. That does sound pretty funny.

  44. I’m definitely afraid of never realizing/deciding what it is I want to do in life, or what I’m called to do in life.

    But at the same time, I’m still so young. And I know that this is the time I should be exploring my passions and getting closer with myself and God and not worrying so much. I have a TON of passions – something good will come out of them, I’m sure!

  45. My fear is that the person I want to be with does not want me. I have a feeling we will be together eventually, and I’m trying hard to keep the faith and be patient until the time is right, but we aren’t really talking right now, and it scares me.

  46. I am afraid of never being able to fully support myself doing a career that is fulfilling to me.
    I have a fear of being ordinary – I want to do extraordinary things in this life.

  47. My fear is this project I am managing is going to be a total disaster and I’m going to be into a constant state of fix-it upon rollout.

    1. I have a bunch of fears, usually money related. And I’ve been in many of the situations people are discussing here.
      I get the laughing at it thing, but when you are deep in it, it’s hard to step out of it like that and get perspective.
      For me, I walk myself through ‘what would happen if my fears are realized’ scenarios. For example, if I have a monetary loss (current fear) what then? Declare bankruptcy (BTW already did it!). Get a second job? Cash in a 401K? Sell the house (it’s just a house, it’s not my child-I can live in an apartment)? Get a cheaper car? Move in with my parents temporarily? Sometimes when you take yourself through the reality of what you’d do, you realize you’d do whatever it takes and you’d be just fine. Yes you’d sacrifice ‘stuff’ and it would be hard, but it wouldn’t be over. You keep living…and learning…and growing. And then one day you look back and you’re in a better place. You gotta believe that everything you go through is the thing you’re supposed to be going through. To learn and grow and be a better person, a better soul. Keep moving forward, follow your instinct and above all you gotta STAY POSITIVE. We all break down from time to time and have a little pity party for ourselves but don’t give it more than you should. Keep the positive affirmations going the other 99% of the time.

  48. I fear I will freeze during interviews and and completely loose all capability to get my point across. Basically I will look silly and not be enough. Thank you for this Gabby! xoxo Kim

  49. I am afraid that I will lose my health. Which, is crazy because every doctor I go to has told me that my health is great, I have nothing to worry about, the only thing out of whack is my cortisol (stress hormone) which is high ONLY because I am having anxiety about my healthy (which, again, is fine).
    It’s like I am chasing my tail and creating a problem where there is none!
    At 34 your body reacts differently to stimuli but that does not mean it’s falling apart, only that it’s evolving.
    Last time I checked, evolution brought us from amoebas to fully developed humans…it’s a go(o)d thing! 🙂
    Phew! I DO feel better!
    xoxo

  50. I’m afraid of not finding a house to live in soon.
    just writing this here makes me feel empowered and confident that I will, something is coming, and I’m right where I need to be now.

  51. I just started my own part-time business and I am terrified that I will have no customers at all. In the mean time I am looking for a new day job as I was made redundant two weeks ago. I am afraid that I will have to settle for a job again that is less fulfilling than the dream job I had in mind and where I worked so hard for the past few years. I now I am good enough but still I am afraid that the path I am on is leading nowhere. Super silly stuff:)

  52. Hi Gabby!
    Amazing vlog, as always!
    I am afraid to continue being lost while trying to reach my Element.
    I am afraid to not be wealthy enough as I want to do good things with this financial, spiritual and entrepreneurial wealth. I know I will do great things, that I matter, I am just afraid to be afraid to live my truth.
    Love,
    Claire

  53. I am afraid not to finding the right path of love and happiness during this lifetime… and I am afraid of not living the fullest I could.

  54. I’m afraid I’ll never get pregnant. I’m 37, trying for two years, and suffer from PCOS. I’m so anxious about not being able to achieve my dream. I feel like I’m not special like my friends and other women who get pregnant so easily

  55. Owning up to mine: I am afraid that I’ll never get out of my own way. I am afraid of taking responsibility for my own life and happiness! Which is insane, a “tiny, mad idea,” because I am my own obstacle. If I can be my ally, if I can believe in myself, I can step out of the way of my destiny and birthright.

  56. I am afraid my relationship 24 year old daughter will never be the same. She is judging me for something but she doesn’t have all the information. If she had all of the information, she would think badly of her father. She hasn’t spoken to me for almost 3 weeks and it breaks my heart because we have always been so close.

  57. Thank you Gabby for this video! It’s timing is so ridiculously on par with what I am working on right now! FEAR this simple four letter word has crippled me in so many ways – but no more! I no longer give it energy, power or control over me! as I breathe this fear out of me, I am thankful for all that I have, I am grateful for all the lessons I learn and I am excited and empowered to make the changes necessary now and moving forward to becoming my authentic self and embracing happiness, success and LOVE! x

  58. I have a fear of not being in control of the outcomes! Today is my birthday and in the past few days I have realized that I even get nervous when I don’t know about GOOD surprises – for example surprise parties, gifts I don’t know people are getting for me, etc. How silly is this?! Who even wants to be in control of that stuff? I need to let go and let the Universe (and my family and friends) surprise me with amazing, wonderful things! 🙂

    PS. Congrats, Gabby! The wedding looked beautiful! Loved the pics of you giving blessings to your guests- I felt the blessings through my phone!

  59. I’m newly married and am scared I married the wrong man. I love him but there are many things we don’t see eye to eye on. In the past I over looked them but I think the permanence of being married is making me magnify our differences in my head. I want these feelings of doubt to go away so I can be my happy, fun loving self. But they are taking over my thoughts and making me question every decision I’ve ever made. I’m not sure how to laugh this one off…other than focus on all the reasons I love my husband and all the positives in our relationship. I have some serious spiritual work to do because I constantly second guess myself at just about everything. But buried beneath all the noise and fear I have a lot of hope and a lot of love to give.

    1. Sam, here’s hoping you see this. I’m always more-than-fashionably late to these things…
      This is a hard one, but I think it’s something *everyone* deals with and I feel like I have those exact same thoughts anytime I let fear seep in. It seems to be a hallmark in human society that we can’t live in close quarters with someone else without eventually going crazy about some aspect of them. Staying positive is one of the big things; you chose him for a reason and have to keep those reasons in mind. Sometimes, people change and those reasons no longer apply, but I believe this is rare. On the other hand, according to Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want, you also chose him for other reasons you wouldn’t believe except for the open-mindedness helped by your (and mine, in my personal case) connection to Gabby and therefore The Course: You chose him because of your guilt and your hurt. Many times, we illogically and unconsciously choose partners that have qualities we know will hurt us because we want to confront and release those fears. He gives examples, like you had a father who was distant, so you chose a husband who is “clingy”. Of course, this opposite extreme eventually leads you to being annoyed and frustrated by *too much* attention instead of too little. But it’s not his fault; you made the choice. The real key is not changing him but getting over your fears; maybe that one day he won’t be so attentive and you’ll be left alone again. The other extreme is that you chose an inattentive partner and didn’t realize *how* inattentive he was until now. But that’s still not his fault. Communication is key, in expressing your fears, making sure he can validate, reflect, and empathize with them, and accepting that he doesn’t *not* love you and isn’t angry with you; he is who he is and your perception of his actions is a reflection of your spiritual turmoil. Try Gabby’s method here. He is there to help you be happy, so you can work through it together. Tell him, not accusingly, that you feel a certain way due to some way he or you interacts and that you think it is insane and illogical. Figure out why and laugh about it. For example, if he raises his voice when he’s frustrated *at* something else, but you feel attacked, the insanity is that your ego is telling you that something is wrong with *you* and *you* are why he is agitated. The insanity is that he wasn’t even talking about you, but your ego somehow changed the whole subject. The insanity is that *his* ego made him agitated about something that is probably silly and not a risk to either of you due to some other fear (like fear of the extra time/effort required to “fix” the problem), which led to your ego’s reaction! These chain reactions build on themselves but neither start or end as anything that truly matters. So laugh about it. Be happy that he feels like he has someone he can talk to, however indirectly, about his fear. And realize that your happy, fun-loving self is one of the things he saw when he chose you, whether or not his consciousness things it is a good thing.

  60. A Suggestion

    This is a generous message and super vlog.
    However here’s a small alternative idea:

    Thinking and talking yourself out of fear – is to use the ego mind to judge your ego mind.

    So, rather than “talking” yourself out of the ‘fear’ by using your ego mind or that of your friend, to rationalise why the fear is irrational – instead, just “feel” it.

    Don’t run, don’t resist, don’t try to ‘detach’ from the fear by thinking and talking about it and poking fun at it- instead clearly identify the fear as unreal by going through it – going into it and feeling it.

    In so doing, be present to it, watch it, bear witness to it and be fully conscious of it – dont’ resist it by talking yourself out of it with someone else. Unless your friend is someone who is fully present, conscious and aware, the risk is inviting someone else’s ego (‘your fear is silly’), to talk to your ego (you’re going to lose your job, you’re going to lose your job, you’re going to lose your job!!!!!).

    After some moments of feeling the fear that you have cleary identified in your head – the laughter and insanity of the fear is not that the event won’t happen (as you may in fact lose your job) – the insanity is that even if the feared event does happen – you won’t die.

    You will hopefully realise the truth that even if the feared event happens (you do in fact lose your job, your partner does leave you, someone who is terminally ill does eventually pass into the light etc) – you witness the truth that the event itself won’t kill you (is all fear really just a fear of death) and that you will be fine – regardless.

    In that moment – you will hopefully awaken to the truth of acceptance that no matter what happens, the Holy Spirit ( your ‘Ing’) always ‘has your back’ in the face of future unforeseen events we cannot predict or control. But we can do something about them in the here and now, in the present moment, by being still, witnessing the fear through feeling it (ie. not thinking about it and trying to ‘detach’ from it as a form of resistance) and consciously choosing to ask the Holy Spirit (your ‘ING’) – for divine guidance on it.

    If you are supposed to do something about this ‘fear’ – have faith that you will receive intuitive guidance (eg: you will be motivated to ask your boss for clarity on your job’ security or you will have an idea on what you can do to make money, or how to rekindle your partnership/marriage and/or start looking for a new job).

    Fear is not to be rationalised away and detached from – fear is an energy to be transcended and transformed. Christ feared his own crucifixion well before it happened; he expressed his fear to his disciples who all ‘thought’ he was wrong. Christ however chose to embrace the cross and transcended it. As A Course in Miracles says, the Crucifixion shows why no-one need ever go down that path again as it is has already been done and transcended.

    There is thus no need to avoid fear by resisting it through ‘thinking’ about it (ego – mind – fear) and detaching from it. Is fear thus in fact an energy that is to be transcended by us and thereby transformed into love throughout the world – by choosing to consciously walk through it with our eyes wide open through our feeling it – rather than just thinking and talking about it? Does more thinking and talking (the ego fear in the mind never stops talking and thinking!) instead have the opposite effect of burying fear deeper so it can grow to sprout bigger, later on?

    Instead of giving fear about a future event that may or may not happen – to a friend for two minds (two egos) to think and talk about it – why not consciously feel it and surrender it to the Holy Spirit (‘ING’)?

    Losing your job may well happen; your partner may indeed leave you.
    But the ‘fear’ energy and meaning that is attached to it – is not real. Hence that is the insanity. Are you attached to your job as defining who you are? Are you attached to your partner as your only source of love? Are all fears in fact manifestations of hidden attachments to material aspects of this world which each of us think we will die from, if we have lost or are about to lose them?

    As Tolle says – the trick of life is to die before you die, and realise there is no death.

    As Marianne Williamson says – darkness must be brought to the light.

    So, instead of detaching from your fear by using the ego mind to ‘think’ about it and ‘talk’ about it (with someone else’s ego mind) – why not alternatively choose to bring your fear, in whatever form it is tempting you – to the Holy Spirit (your “ING”)?

    Thank you for your great vlogs – please keep them coming.

    Blessings xo

  61. I fear that people don’t like me.
    I fear that I won’t get my homework done.
    I fear that I won’t be able to fulfill all that the Universe wants me to.
    I fear that I will cycle backwards.
    I fear that I will drown in inertia.
    I fear that I am not good enough.
    I fear that I am insane, sometimes.
    I fear that people think I am crazy.
    I fear that sometimes I have pushed people so far away that they are gone.
    I fear social situations and making small talk.
    I fear being judged.

    I am realizing, I have many small fears. I try to live in Love, but wake-up ANXIOUS almost everyday. Hmm.

  62. I am currently five weeks pregnant. I’ve been pregnant before and I lost my baby when I was on the 8th week. Right now I’m terrified of loosing this baby. How can I laugh about this gigantic fear?

    1. Maria,

      As much as I appreciated this vlog, I think that it only addresses fears that a person can laugh at, and maybe ‘smile’ at would be better … but then there are others that we have to support ourselves through and adding that in would make sense to this vlog. Some people have posted things that really are not able to be treated by laughing. I’m not ‘judging’ necessarily Gabrielle’s vlog or maybe I am but I think this vlog needed a bit more context to it. The things the author might be sharing with her friends and laughing about might not be at the same level of some of the things mentioned here (a person’s dog dying, losing your job, and your fear of losing your baby) and I think that should be acknowledged and maybe even a follow-up vlog done on this to address that.

      We all make mistakes and I’m sure Gabrielle is reading these comments and didn’t mean to be flippant.

      Best of luck to you! … Phillip Moffit has some really good thoughts on fears …

      Cat

  63. I’m afraid the obsession the eat dirty food will not leave me this time like it did the first time I stopped binging. Surrender…. I release the ego’s tiny mad ideas about my body and ask for a shift in my perception. Amen.

  64. I have a medical condition which causes a lot of nerve pain in my body, when this pain gets unbearable I have a fear that it will never go away, that I will never be able to do the things that I love to do again. With this also comes the fear of being misunderstood, or not believed (because the condition is invisible).

  65. My ego is making me fear that I will feel fat and heavy forever and never feel comfortable enough and never look good enough to do the things I truly love like dancing performing and acting.
    But at the moment acting and stepping out of my comfort zone and showing the world who I truly am scares me even more. I am frozen by fear.
    Thats probably why I’m carrying weight in the first place to protect me! Hahahahahah how STUPID!! I’m protecting myself from being awesome, far out thats silly. What do I do! :/

  66. Hi Everyone,
    For years I have been uncomfortable leaving the house or going too far from it. I have been trying to figure out what I am afraid of and I guess it’s having things happen that aren’t in my control and being out of my comfort zone. On the positive side -I am feeling stronger and know that I have grown and have learned who I am. But I really want to be carefree again and start living without worry. Any thoughts?

    Best Wishes Gabby
    Nameste

  67. TELLING THE WORLD ABOUT MY LIFE IN THE MEMOIR THAT I AM WRITING. I’VE GONE SO FAR AS TO WRITE SEVEN CHAPTERS AND THE LITTLE VOICE CONSTANTLY SAYS, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF. YOU WILL BE JUDGED.

  68. That my husband is going to cheat on me again. It’s funny because there’s no reason for him to and we’re in a great and new place! Why would he?! (It’s only half funny but I’ll work on it 😉 !!!!! Lol) xoxo

  69. I have a fear of not having friends. Perhaps it’s a fear of rejection in friendship. But its mostly applicable to specific people who mean a lot to me. I don’t deal well with being rejected by someone I care about. I get unreasonably depressed and obsessed with why. What did I do wrong?

    1. Ditto BJ. I’m so afraid if that I make all the plans with my friends and if always has to be something super fun. Then I get depressed when no one calls me to hang out.

  70. Holy crap, I just had a breakthrough. Here I am sitting at my computer asking myself, “what am I afraid of” when my inner guide (or what I call my high-femme or goddess) said “you are afraid of changing your eating habits and exercising because you’re afraid of any commitment that creates restriction”… so now I’m like ok well… what are ways that I can change my eating/exercise habits so that they make me feel free and expansive? Thanks for the breakthrough Gabby <3.

    Congratulations on your marriage!!

    1. I have this same fear. Now that you point it out it might be my biggest and I really really want to overcome it. I think I am going to break it down into the tiny mad idea it is.

  71. I fear I will not be able to fully experience and hold success in my life. I’m afraid this fear will cause me to settle for a livelihood/career that does not live up to my highest potential and stifle my creative and financial well being. Ultimately, it is a fear of failure and a deep rooted belief that I am not good enough. The funny thing is I am experiencing success. I am moving closer to my ideal career and right livelihood every day. I know I am good enough. However, my ego wants me to be perfect. It wants perfection immediately. It’s a silly expectation because perfection often comes from making mistakes. Failing and mistakes will lead you right to success if you allow yourself to learn and grow from them. Allowing myself to take a chance, make a mistake and possibly fail is empowering!
    Thank you for the space to share.

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