The Fun and Spiritual Way to Release Fear Fast

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Note: Updated in November 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

I recorded the video below just after my wedding. Even though they’re beautiful and full of love, weddings can bring up a lot of old fears!

Throughout the process of planning my wedding, and on my wedding day, I leaned on my spiritual tools. I turned to lessons from A Course in Miracles to release my ancient limiting beliefs and laugh at my ego’s tiny mad ideas!

You don’t have to be planning a huge event or making a major life change to benefit greatly from the process I offer up in this post. The spiritual approach to fear always offers the most profound solutions.

My spiritual process for releasing fear

Watch the video below or keep reading to learn my spiritual process for releasing fear.

Our work is to detach from fear

Wherever you are, whatever’s going on, in some way you are likely feeling fear. Maybe you are totally plagued by fear. Maybe it’s just sort of creeping into your mind in really funky ways. In 12-step programs they say that fear will be doing push-ups while you sleep. Does that resonate or what?

We wake up in the morning with pangs of anxiety, or we experience something that triggers a thought that leads us down a crazy road of negativity. It leads us to really scary places that are created by our own belief in fear.

Believing in fear is a choice that you make. This is not to say that there aren’t natural fears. There’s a good reason we’re scared of putting our hand in fire or running into the middle of the street. We have that smart part of our brain that says, “No, don’t go there.” Listen to it.

But then there is this whole other element of fear that’s so layered and so deep within our psyche that we’ve been carrying with us for decades. And it is completely unnecessary. It’s a belief system based on fear from the past. We reorganize and re-create this fear the present and we project it onto the future.

Therefore, our work is to detach from that fear.

How to release fear with laughter

One of my favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles is to laugh at the ego’s “tiny, mad ideas.” From the perspective of the Course, the ego and fear are synonymous. The ego is that fear-based voice that shows up that that keeps us small and keeps us stuck.

And so our job is to laugh at the ego’s tiny, mad ideas! What an amazing concept to just let ourselves laugh at these mad ideas, to look at them and say how insane they are. Sometimes the idea is so deeply ingrained in us that it’s hard to laugh.

But if we can begin to see our way out, if we can think our way out or talk our way out, then we can get to a place where we can laugh. It’s our job to see the insanity.

In that experience of witnessing the insanity, we learn how to detach from the stronghold that fear has on us. We can start to see the world differently with a simple shift in perspective. If the fear is very deeply ingrained, you can begin with a surrender practice. Surrender to the Universe and ask for help in releasing that fear.

Begin to be that witness who is ready at all times to laugh at the chaos. To laugh at the tiny, mad ideas.

Tweet: The fun and spiritual way to release fear fast! @gabbybernstein

Step 1: Write down your fear

Take a moment to write down the fear that’s plaguing you the most today. What is it? The fear of being alone, the fear of losing your job, the fear of not having enough money, the fear of not having your body the way you want it to be. What is the fear? Write it down.

You can keep the fear private, written down in your notebook for yourself. Or you can list that fear on the comments below. Whatever you feel called to do. Put it out there. Outing your ego is very powerful.

Step 2: Identify all the reasons your fear is nuts!

And then look at your fear and start to identify all the reasons why it’s totally nuts. Why you can laugh. In what ways can you laugh at this chaos?

Let’s take an example. For instance, let’s say your fear is, “I’m afraid I’m going lose my job.” Look at that fear and say, “Okay, well, I have no signs of losing my job, I have a lot of security, I feel good about myself, I do a good job at work, this is not the worst time for my company.”

Start to see all the reasons why this is an insane idea. And in those moments when you can just pinpoint the insanity, you can start to laugh. And let yourself laugh at that chaos. One positive thought at a time, you can laugh at the tiny, mad idea.

This is a fast, fun way of releasing fear!

Again: Our job to reorganize the fear story and reframe that script so that we can start to tell a new story. In fact, really, our job is to let go of that old story and let the Universe write a new one for us!

But first we just need to laugh at that tiny, mad idea.

Bonus step #3: Out your ego to a friend

Sometimes a great exercise is to call a friend and say, “Okay, I’m gonna out my ego, it’s totally insane, can we laugh about it?” And your friend can help you get there.

I often get on the phone with a friend and I’m like, “Can you just see how freaking insane that is?” And together we laugh. It’s fun, it works fast and it feels good. The spiritual solution is always there for you.

The Miracle Membership makes it easy to find spiritual solutions!

I’ve made it super easy to find the spiritual solution anywhere, anytime! I created my Miracle Membership to help you stay consistent on your spiritual path and get brand-new content from me every month.

As a Miracle Member you can find the right lesson, meditation or spiritual tool for any fear or problem, anytime. You will get full access to the archives and you can join the private, high-vibe Facebook group, where you can out your ego anytime and get tons of support.

Learn all about the Miracle Membership!

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347 COMMENTS

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  1. I fear not being valued, respected, understood, loved & old patterns of dishonesty and emotional withholding repeating.

  2. I have a fear of success. I have a fear of losing weight. This is funny because I’ve experienced success on so many levels. Having money is not scary, it is true freedom. Being thin is healthy. Health is not scary.

    1. Thanks for sharing Leila. Practice incorporating the steps in this blog for the next 40 days and notice the shifts that start to happen. xo

  3. Fear of not having enough, fear of not having enough money, fear of weigh gain. I’m sick of carrying these old defects and release them. Presence guide me in away which is clear for me ,remove these defect characters which has stop me from living my best life! I’m grateful the awareness of these FEARS showed up! Thanks for guiding me to this source, i recognized and take this as a sign of my prayer being release. Guide me to be of service to you and not the false self. Thank you awareness, thank you for accepting it, thank you for these guided action! I’m ready to let Go and live my best life !

    1. Stephanie, I’m grateful that this post has served you. May you be released from fear and be guided by hope and gratitude. xo

    1. Thanks for sharing here Jim. Continue to incorporate the steps in this blog for the next 40 days and notice the shifts that start to happen.

  4. Thank you for the messages you share with all of us. I have been reading and re-reading The Universe Has Your Back for the past few weeks, striving to release my fear. My husband and I are going through a rough move, following where God has lead, and though it isn’t easy, we know it is the right place for us. Unfortunately, we had a house deal fall through and now we have to scurry and find a place to live with 3 dogs and a cat. Sleepless nights, almost constant anxiety and a touch of anger seem to want to become the norm. But using this lesson above, I feel a little more at peace. Where will we go? How will we survive this? What are we going to do? Great questions, and very real anxiety, but then comes the laugher. We have a home to sell (which says we have means). Why worry? Yes, we’ll have to rent for a while until we can find another home (my husband loves his new job and we are both successful in our careers). Why get scared? We have the means to rent a nice home or apartment, once we find one. We can afford deposits for pets so they can live with us. We will have to rearrange our plans for the next 12 months (but we will all be together, our very loving family). With this kind of love, what do I have to fear? It will be a pain, but because of this time, I have grown closer to God and started connecting and listening again. I keep repeating Wayne Dyer’s “Have a Miraculous Day” prayer and I just do what I can. Plus, whenever I feel the most down, I go out and do something for someone else – deliver food, give them someone to listen to them, nurture shelter pets during fireworks. My anxiety is still very real, but I can laugh once in a while because I know I am not alone. God Truly Is Still Speaking – through wonderful people like you. Thank you!

    1. Thank you for this brave, heartfelt share Patricia. Continue to trust your inner guidance and know that the Universe has a plan in store. You are doing beautiful healing work. Sending you lots of love and peace.

  5. I’m afraid of losing my daughter. She is 23 years old and has been through so many difficult times. She struggled in school due to learning disabilities and even though she received extra help it destroyed her confidence in herself and she eventually gave up and dropped out when she turned 19. Her father and I separated years ago because I just couldn’t tolerate the verbal abusive he was subjecting both me and my children to. He had even been physically abusive towards me a couple times which, unfortunately, the kids witnessed once. My daughter rarely says anything about her father but I know she has a hole in her heart that only a loving father can fill. She makes no efforts to get a job. I don’t even get mad about it because I know she is so afraid of failure that it completely paralyzes her. She has been to doctors and therapists for anxiety and depression. Sometimes she takes her medication and sometimes she doesn’t. Last December, her boyfriend came to my house angry and drunk and broke in my front door because my daughter refused to open it. An order of protection was issued against him which he has violated several times and is now in jail which my daughter feels guilty about. Now she has been going onto these dating websites and talking to all these strange men. She self medicates with alcohol and marijuana which I don’t even know how she gets because I don’t give her any money. I stand my ground firmly about her needing to get a job and becoming an independent young woman while reminding her that she is brave, smart and beautiful inside and out and can do anything that she puts her mind to. Her overall health is beginning to fail. She complains of feeling sick all the time, she doesn’t eat well and is losing weight. She shuts herself off from the world. I get down on my knees every day and pray for her. I beg God to please help her. When she was a little girl she smiled and laughed and sang and danced and loved everything and everybody. That little girl is gone and I am scared to death of losing what is left

    1. Cathy, heart goes out to you and I want you to know that I am holding you in my prayers. I want to share a few resources that I hope may help you navigate this situation with grace, strength and love. I’m going to share some resources related to both mental health and addiction. I don’t want to assume your daughter is addicted; I just want to share a range of resources.

      1. SAMHSA.gov has a helpline that you can call free anytime. They also have guides and booklets for families. Scroll down on this page to see guides for parents/families. The URL is https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline.

      Here are some of SAMHSA’s downloadable brochures:

      – “Alcohol and Drug Addiction Happens in the Best of Families”
      – “What Is Substance Abuse Treatment? A Booklet for Families”

      If you’re looking for additional behavioral health treatment options, check here.

      Here is a list of support groups for mental/emotional health. (You might also want to look into local support groups.)

      2. This article from Psychology Today may help you.

      3. You may want to check out the book Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma by Peter Levine. This is a beautiful book that helps heal trauma. Both you and your daughter may benefit from it.

      Please don’t hesitate to find help for yourself as you help your daughter, whether that’s through a therapist, a support group or trusted friends. I’m sending you a lot of love and support.

  6. My fear is that I am not good enough. I am scared that because of this, I will not measure up for anyone. And because I will not measure up, eventually I will be “found out”…people will figure out I am some sort of fraud. As a result, they will leave. It manifests in codpendency. If I can take care of and fix everything, I can control that narrative…I will always be enough because I will be the one they need to take care of and fix things.

    I am not enough for anyone and I don’t know who I am.

    1. Hi Shannon. You just did a brave and bold thing by diving into Step One, which is writing down your fears. Continuing to journal your feelings is an amazing way to work on healing and releasing. Remember to be gentle and patient with yourself as you go through these steps. Amazing shifts can happen when we are open to change. <3

  7. I have a fear of not being able to pay my bills on time from now on. I tried last week to talk to the right person and fill out the proper paperwork, to avoid a wage garnishment, now its happening anyway. I fear that no matter what I do, its not enough, and my husband is still drinking and spending our money, so we have nothing.

  8. I have a fear of being alone. The only family I have is my son. No friends, they have basically disappeared at this point. I am totally unhappy in my current relationship but am going through difficult health struggles right now. So it’s very hard to think about ending my relationship when I don’t have anyone else to be there for me. My son is in college and doing his own thing.

    1. Thank you for showing up here Noelle. Sharing in this space is a lovely sign that you are open to making some shifts. When working with fear energy, Gabby often recommends to tap into things that bring us joy. What’s one (big or small) thing you can do every day that lifts you up and brings you happiness? It can be the same or something different every day. Try this out for the next month and notice how your experiences start to change. <3

  9. Some of the fears that I have are quite controversial, but I feel like it is very important to express them. I am afraid that I will never be materially wealthy; I am afraid that I will never have enough money and my dreams will never come true. I am afraid that I will never have the means to leave Denmark for Canada permanently and I am afraid that I will never hear from my best friend from Germany and his twin brother who also happens to be one of my very closest friends. I am afraid that I will never measure and it is too late for me to reach my potential, I am afraid that I am going to die with dreams that were never realized. I am afraid that I will never discover my lineages in Hungary, Egypt, Portugal, and India. I’m so afraid that I feel like the whole world is ahead of me. I am afraid that my dreams and desires will never manifest and come to reality, especially when I’m 36. I am afraid that I will always be behind and it makes me very angry and sad.

  10. It’s so difficult to release fear when you adult son is in a very difficult situation, how does fearing the worse be showed with love. I am a very positive person but this situation has me very emotional and hoping it is sorted out really soon. Your words of encouragement will be so appreciated Gabby. Love the work you do. x

      1. Thank you so much Gabby for replying and words of encouragement and comfort. Going to sit now and watch the link you shared with me. I’m looking forward also to today’s livestream at 4pm pacific time. Blessings Always.
        X

  11. Gabby please help! we had a huge rise in ACID ATTACKS in London, UK

    last night two TEENAGERS ! YES TEENAGERS during 70 min spree attacked 5 PEOPLE!! and ruined their lives.. you can buy acid over the counter easily and we had over 400 attacks per year of people having acid thrown in their faces FOR NO REASON… at 9 am!!! strangers… it is absolutely horrifying i am so scared of it i get panick attacks.. how to laugh at that? how to conquer that… please help! thank you

    1. Your best practice is prayer. Pray each day for light to surround you and your community. Focus your attention on the power of love and trust your energy has the power to heal.

  12. Hello Gabby… I just recently discovered your videos, and blog, and teachings, and I guess it was at the right time. I also feel like I have so much to say, and ask, so I kinda have to figure it out how to write the main issue.
    There are certainly a lot of fears in me, and while I haven’t done a very good job in getting rid of them, I’m sure I have at least identify them to the point of knowing the reason for it…
    I was been in a relationship for a bit over five years, that ended this week, and one of my fears is being alone. Now, I get the reason for it, I understand the insecurities I have, the ego…and all of that. And I also know, that while this (the breakup) was/is such a hard thing to experience, it’s also the right thing to do (even the day that it happened, the numbers attached to it seem to point on that direction…just like the number of the day that it started. I’m not really sure if it’s just a coincidence or not…). Anyway, I also don’t know if what I’m feeling right now is me being numb, or if it’s me feeling “released”…
    Like I said, I feel like I have so much to ask, but I’ll try to go to the point.
    I want to believe in the “asking for a sign” or “asking for help”, but there’s this part of me that feels some resistance to doing that, because the thought of not getting that sign, that help, means that it’s not real… that “this” is not real. So I guess, my question, my issue…and my fear for the moment, is how to pass through that resistance and fully let myself get into… I also feel like I can’t really ask for a sign before I let this conflict go…

    (PS: I apology in advance for any spelling mistakes, as english is not my native language.)

    1. Hi Mark,
      Follow my guidance in this module. Take the steps to feel your resistance, witnesses it and honor it. Remember, “the wound is the place where the light enters you.” Your willingness to witness your resistance is what got you here. Bravo… You’re already well on your way!

  13. I have a fear of driving on the freeway. Working hard to laugh at the silliness of this. I don’t want to limit the places my three kids can visit. I don’t want my fear to stop them from having some amazing experiences

    1. Kim, this is a very common fear and you are not alone! You might try some practical actions such as looking at resources to help people who fear freeway driving or even working with a coach, professional driver, or driver’s ed teacher to help you get more comfortable. You can also try tapping on this fear using the EFT, or Emotional Freedom Technique. You can check out any of my videos on tapping and follow the technique, substituting in your own words related to your fear. Nick Ortner’s book The Tapping Solution and other resources on tapping may bring you great relief, especially if you practice regularly. Be sure to read about the technique and learn the meridians and order in which you tap them! Xoxo sending love + light. Honor that fear and turn it over to the Universe for healing!!!

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