The Fun and Spiritual Way to Release Fear Fast

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Note: Updated in November 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

I recorded the video below just after my wedding. Even though they’re beautiful and full of love, weddings can bring up a lot of old fears!

Throughout the process of planning my wedding, and on my wedding day, I leaned on my spiritual tools. I turned to lessons from A Course in Miracles to release my ancient limiting beliefs and laugh at my ego’s tiny mad ideas!

You don’t have to be planning a huge event or making a major life change to benefit greatly from the process I offer up in this post. The spiritual approach to fear always offers the most profound solutions.

My spiritual process for releasing fear

Watch the video below or keep reading to learn my spiritual process for releasing fear.

Our work is to detach from fear

Wherever you are, whatever’s going on, in some way you are likely feeling fear. Maybe you are totally plagued by fear. Maybe it’s just sort of creeping into your mind in really funky ways. In 12-step programs they say that fear will be doing push-ups while you sleep. Does that resonate or what?

We wake up in the morning with pangs of anxiety, or we experience something that triggers a thought that leads us down a crazy road of negativity. It leads us to really scary places that are created by our own belief in fear.

Believing in fear is a choice that you make. This is not to say that there aren’t natural fears. There’s a good reason we’re scared of putting our hand in fire or running into the middle of the street. We have that smart part of our brain that says, “No, don’t go there.” Listen to it.

But then there is this whole other element of fear that’s so layered and so deep within our psyche that we’ve been carrying with us for decades. And it is completely unnecessary. It’s a belief system based on fear from the past. We reorganize and re-create this fear the present and we project it onto the future.

Therefore, our work is to detach from that fear.

How to release fear with laughter

One of my favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles is to laugh at the ego’s “tiny, mad ideas.” From the perspective of the Course, the ego and fear are synonymous. The ego is that fear-based voice that shows up that that keeps us small and keeps us stuck.

And so our job is to laugh at the ego’s tiny, mad ideas! What an amazing concept to just let ourselves laugh at these mad ideas, to look at them and say how insane they are. Sometimes the idea is so deeply ingrained in us that it’s hard to laugh.

But if we can begin to see our way out, if we can think our way out or talk our way out, then we can get to a place where we can laugh. It’s our job to see the insanity.

In that experience of witnessing the insanity, we learn how to detach from the stronghold that fear has on us. We can start to see the world differently with a simple shift in perspective. If the fear is very deeply ingrained, you can begin with a surrender practice. Surrender to the Universe and ask for help in releasing that fear.

Begin to be that witness who is ready at all times to laugh at the chaos. To laugh at the tiny, mad ideas.

Tweet: The fun and spiritual way to release fear fast! @gabbybernstein

Step 1: Write down your fear

Take a moment to write down the fear that’s plaguing you the most today. What is it? The fear of being alone, the fear of losing your job, the fear of not having enough money, the fear of not having your body the way you want it to be. What is the fear? Write it down.

You can keep the fear private, written down in your notebook for yourself. Or you can list that fear on the comments below. Whatever you feel called to do. Put it out there. Outing your ego is very powerful.

Step 2: Identify all the reasons your fear is nuts!

And then look at your fear and start to identify all the reasons why it’s totally nuts. Why you can laugh. In what ways can you laugh at this chaos?

Let’s take an example. For instance, let’s say your fear is, “I’m afraid I’m going lose my job.” Look at that fear and say, “Okay, well, I have no signs of losing my job, I have a lot of security, I feel good about myself, I do a good job at work, this is not the worst time for my company.”

Start to see all the reasons why this is an insane idea. And in those moments when you can just pinpoint the insanity, you can start to laugh. And let yourself laugh at that chaos. One positive thought at a time, you can laugh at the tiny, mad idea.

This is a fast, fun way of releasing fear!

Again: Our job to reorganize the fear story and reframe that script so that we can start to tell a new story. In fact, really, our job is to let go of that old story and let the Universe write a new one for us!

But first we just need to laugh at that tiny, mad idea.

Bonus step #3: Out your ego to a friend

Sometimes a great exercise is to call a friend and say, “Okay, I’m gonna out my ego, it’s totally insane, can we laugh about it?” And your friend can help you get there.

I often get on the phone with a friend and I’m like, “Can you just see how freaking insane that is?” And together we laugh. It’s fun, it works fast and it feels good. The spiritual solution is always there for you.

The Miracle Membership makes it easy to find spiritual solutions!

I’ve made it super easy to find the spiritual solution anywhere, anytime! I created my Miracle Membership to help you stay consistent on your spiritual path and get brand-new content from me every month.

As a Miracle Member you can find the right lesson, meditation or spiritual tool for any fear or problem, anytime. You will get full access to the archives and you can join the private, high-vibe Facebook group, where you can out your ego anytime and get tons of support.

Learn all about the Miracle Membership!

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  1. I am afraid of becoming so overweight that my health and life will suffer. (Even though I have never been so overweight that I cannot run and swim and bike and hike and compete in triathlons and I have always been healthy.)

    I am afraid of being alone and closed off to love. (Though I am not presently dating, I am not alone, I have plenty of friends and family and am surrounded by love. I have had great relationships in the past and there is no reason to believe this will not happen in the future)

  2. I am afraid of truly surrendering to Love…I feel this odd need to control my life through old thoughts and vices and remain stuck in a familiar pattern…

  3. Fear of not taking any actions toward my goals; fear of dreaming big; fear of wanting a better life; fear of making mistakes with my kids; fear that I will not be with “the love of my life”; fear of not finding my purpose in life; fear of living small; fear of unknown.

    I think that will do it 🙂

  4. I’m scared that I won’t fulfill my potential.

    This fear feels extremely overwhelming now that I’ve put it out there. It doesn’t look funny at all. It feels very real.

  5. Your skin is so glowy. What is your secret?

    My biggest fear right not has to do with it being midterm week. I am in grad school and haven’t been in school in awhile and I’m worried I won’t do well. It really is a tiny mad idea because I have so much time on my hands to ensure I complete all my work and I have great people around to proof read for me. I also am pretty smart and take the time to complete my tasks. I truly can’t fail.

  6. I’m 66 and chose to be a mother as opposed to a career…very little social security. We went completely broke 7 years ago and although the bills get paid, we cannot seem to get ahead…we own our own small business. My husband is younger than me, works from can to can’t and still… I’m terrified we will end up on welfare when he can no longer work and somehow it will be partially my fault because I chose a home and kids instead of a career. At my age, there just don’t seem to be a lot of choices younger people would have in this situation. Laugh…how?

  7. I’m always afraid that I’m doing something wrong & something bad is going to happen as a result & will make me regret

  8. I have been feeling afraid I will never live out my full true potential. I see that I am taking many steps daily to walk towards that and hear my ~ing, so this is a lie! It was not made up by love, and therefore not real. I choose to have faith in love and surrender. I forgive this fear and wrap it in love and compassion

  9. Fear of not having enough money…
    Reorganize/Positive Outlook – I have everything I need and I can do with less. I have to remind myself that abundance flows into my life!

  10. FEAR – let’s change the acronym – forging evolutionary actions responsibly. Fear is merely a message. You have the power to choose what to do with the message.
    In the tradition of handling incoming mail or your work in box you can:
    1. DO something about it now. An action step to resolve it. / 2. Delete it, as in “not worth my precious thought time”. / 3. Delegate it. Identify it as a pretender action for you when it is really someone else’s action item. / 4. Delay it – postpone action, legitimately, meaning for later referencing as appropriate. Remember that fear can dress itself up as procrastination.
    If you let fear percolate on the back burner, like a stew, it becomes an attractor for other stew items.
    And after a short while it becomes a huge stew meal for many people. Don’t feed the stew. Starve it.

    Step 1 under “DO”. Breathe, meaningfully, deeply, and often. Contraction will not serve you! Deep breathes will free you.
    Step 2 under “DO”. Know that this fear emotion is a gift. Yes, a gift. It’s a wake up call to help you evolve. So, say to yourself “Damn, another wake up call.” Then find the courage to dig deep and get on with it. Turn toward it, face it. Stick your tongue out and give it a lion’s roar. Fear will be shocked at your action and begin to fall back. Then laugh at it. Big belly laughs. Fear does not like to be laughed at and will fall back even more.
    Step 3 under “DO”. Ask to be led to, shown, the perfect response at this moment. We live by current present moments not future ones. Our point of action is in this moment, which could be to sit still and listen. In this present moment ask yourself this qualifying question, “For what purpose?”, for any and all anticipated actions you might take. Be brutally honest here with your answers. What is your heart’s, your soul’s, desire here? What does your wisdom body tell you? Whatever the action, can you feel a sense of rightness in your anticipated action, a sense of “yes”, somewhere in the body? Fear, as ego, shouts demanding recognition. But spirit whispers. You have to find the calm inside to listen for the whisper….. and then feel it. ACIM – “The Holy Spirit’s Voice is as loud as your willingness to listen.”
    (T-8,VIII,8.7)
    Step 4 under “DO”. Take the now identified action trusting yourself. Have the conviction that you can identify the next right step, for you and all concerned, and then follow thru on it.
    Step 5 under “DO”. Stay the course. When doubt arises, as it will, look at it in the face (doubt does have a face), smile, and say “Thanks anyway but I have to go.” Repeat the 3 C’s process of stabilized forward movement: courage – desire and discipline to think right and act right, care – love yourself enough to do what needs doing without beating yourself up and leaving black marks, and conviction – that you are on your soul’s journey and not merely just a physical one. If you capitulate to fear and fall in that same hole, or fear filled response, the third and forth time life will continue to send you back to school to relearn the lesson. Graduate and earn your 3C’s diploma.

  11. My greatest fear is that I won’t be able to do what I want to do for a living and won’t be able to take care of myself and survive.

  12. I have a fear of getting married. My parents never had a great relationship and marriage; seeing how they were for so many years before they separated, had been engraved in my brain. Now, I am engaged to be married September of next year & sometimes I wonder if things will be the same for me. I have a fiancé who tells me he loves me, tells me I’m beautiful, is honest with me, and wants me in his life. He went all out to propose to me in Jamaica in my birthday! It’s crazy what fear does to a person. Just releasing this makes me deal better already. I have to change the battlefield my mind has been in for so long, as it will affect my relationship and soon-to-be marriage. I am not my mother and father, I am ME..
    Praise God to the most High for revelation. Thank you so much Gabby for your work ????.

  13. Fear of rejection by my father. Fear of being rejected and abandoned by everyone including myself. Fear of this pain.

  14. A video right on time as I deal with extreme fear today. I committed to a high level coaching program to help remove the blocks within me to manifest my dream business of interior/textile design ….Only the cost of it has me fearing the worst. I was rendered homeless 7 months ago after a job loss from car accident injuries stopped me from working. I did win a settlement and that money has arrived and allowed me to rent an apt. and keep going while I start my biz….but to commit a large portion of it to coaching has me stressed out and fearing the worst. I know I manifested the last one…I’ve read all the books I get it…but I am in babysteps putting it all into practice. I have not slept since I committed to the coaching in fear of giving over all my money….and winding up not able to manifest a thing…and homeless again. OK. Funny cuz the past does not equal the future…..and funny that I feel the universal laws don’t apply to me. wtf

  15. I am scared of being scared!
    Failure, getting old, sickness, lack of love, loneliness, being broke, uncertainty, doubt, sex, men, friends, family, …..
    How insane is that?
    As of yesterday, I am starting to laugh at all these…

  16. I am scared of being scared!
    Failure, getting old, sickness, lack of love, loneliness, being broke, uncertainty, doubt, sex, men, friends, family, …..
    How insane is that?
    As of yesterday, I am starting to laugh at all these…

  17. I just wanted to congratulate you on your marriage. I loved how you shared on Facebook about how in Jewish weddings blessing each individual and I truly know your ceremony must have been awesome as you stated. I am so excited for you and I truly love hearing you at any opportunity I get. I love everything you say and believe your an awesome individual. Thank you for using your gifts to help us. I feel a little resistance to this exercise but find when that happens it usually is something that will be greatly beneficial so I am going to try it. Thank you and I appreciate you.

  18. Congratulations on your marriage!!!

    I am afraid that I will not be a good mother and that I won’t be able to breastfeed… my first baby is due in 10 weeks.
    It might be insane to think that because I love this baby so much already and I’ve done so much to prepare, including my psychological & spiritual work and tons of classes! And my boobs are going to work fine because that’s what they are meant to do!!

  19. I have a fear of not ever having enough money. I also am afraid of being stuck in one position at work and never advancing. The two are connected and it is so hard sometimes to see a way out. I have had the fear of not having enough since I was a child and I hope it has not bled over to my kids.

  20. I am afraid that by quitting my job recently, I will not be able to find another to make enough money to pay my bills!

  21. I fear that my health will not get back to what it was and that I will not be able to make enough money (doing something I love) to help my family and provide for my daughter the life that she deserves.

  22. I am having a lot of fear regarding money. I am fearful that my family will continue to struggle with financial issues and that it will cause problems between my husband and myself.

  23. I fear other people’s judgement of me. I am currently battling this fear as I try to venture out and start my own business. I constantly wonder what my friends and family will think and if they will approve.
    Candice

  24. Where to start, fear of not having enough money, the fear of not losing weight and the fear of being alone. I am a widow and have had quadruple by-pass. I am healthy now and am very grateful to be alive. The fear of not finding my passion in life.

  25. I live in a state of fear and move from one fear to the next. Lately, my biggest focus is on my health and that I will never be without pain or some sort of ailment. It’s hard to move out of this thinking when your body hurts. I’ve been trying to focus on what’s good knowing that staying in the state of fear and panic is not going to help me heal any part of my life.

    Thank you so much for this vlog and congratulations on your marriage!

  26. Oh man, it’s difficult to choose just one fear that is bogging me down. I have three major ones that seem to enjoy rotating on the fear based playlist. But I think the one that is the most prevalent currently and ironically is the one I can do the most about is the fear that I cannot fulfill my potential as a writer. It’s definitely a tiny mad idea, mainly because I have been writing my whole life and I know it’s my gift.
    I think the hold up with me is the action of actually SHARING it with the world. I’m working on an inspirational blog right now, that encourages people to let go and let their creative spark and trust in guidance lead their lives. I know it has great potential, but I’m just hung up on the actual writing part. Crazy, I know. But I know it’s just really my ego being a negative nancy in the background because IT is the one that’s actually afraid that I will succeed.

  27. my fear is not having my life all together.. not having one big nice picture.
    I want a stable job and stability in all aspects of my life and currently i have none. i dont have a job and i have no idea where to go… ive asked for signs etc, done workshops and I just cant get a stable answer to what i should be doing. how do i laugh at this when it is my life situation??

  28. Wow, so grateful for your vlogs and website. Thank you so much!
    I’m fearful that my marriage will fail and that I will be abandoned. Laughing at this helps me to see a different side of the relationship. I have a roll in how I got to this place and I have a choice about what to do to make it through this tough situation.

  29. Although I grew up in an affluent family for some reason I think I have always had a fear of not having enough money. Nobody else in my family and environment is like that but for some reason I got the “bug”! I wake up with panic attacks everyday. I remind myself every moment how grateful I should be for everything I have, my health, family, so much love! And yet, the subconscious I think is playing tricks on me; I have struggled to de-touch from this insanity, so your video today is so timely. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to put it out there…you rock!

  30. Fear of not having enough money to make ends meet… and fear of completely messing up if I really try to “get myself out there” by doing workshops or speeches for my new business. Then there’s some fear and a bit of an intuitive sense that if I just go ahead and do work for someone else at this time that I’ll focus my energy too much on to that work rather than put enough time into building my business.

  31. Hi Gabby,
    Congratulations! What a beautiful day.

    I have the fear of being complacent. I tend to harbor the attitude that “tomorrow will be better” in terms of how I am treating my body, my attitude, and really going for my dreams in my professional career. I procrastinate and use social media to avoid the things I really want to do but I am scared that I will maybe do them and not be satisfied? As I type this out, I’m not even sure what that means! And I can laugh at that. I’m avoiding to avoid but acting in my fear already – I have been complacent!

  32. I’m fearful of the work that lies ahead of me. It feels overwhelming and a bit terrifying because I can’t know how it will uncover. I’m also afraid to even say it here because when I used to say things, they often, would not happen. But i’ve been stepping into “the work” now and engrained it into my being here in the physical, that has set a current underneath it all – a deep knowing that THIS is the path to serve and I can’t not keep stepping into it.

    Thank you for the space to share this.

    Most of all,
    Congratulations Gabby on your special day. Sending love.

  33. I fear that the new business I’m working on will not make any money or help anyone. I fear I’ll have to go back to my old job and everyone will laugh at me. Phew! Out there!

  34. My No. 1 Fear this afternoon is that “I will always be a failure”. This is ridiculous since I’ve achieved things both in outward achievements & inward achievements in my life; and even if I had achieved NOTHING there would still be hope for me not to be a failure! Feeling like I’m not where I want to be with my music career is triggering this.
    Great video today. X

  35. I have a fear that I will be forced to stay living in the Yukon rather than my choice to move to Victoria in BC. I once again remind myself self that I am blessed with loving people to help me make this move happen and so it is!

    May each and everyone of us expand with the cosmos sharing the light!

  36. I have a fear of being rejected in love again. I have a fear of trusting again. I have a fear that I will waiver in my love of myself. I have a fear of failure. I have a fear to start and overcome. I have a fear of taking the wrong path.

  37. I am afraid of the unknown when there is a big change coming. I am pregnant with my second child and I’m scared about if/how I will handle it and how this will effect my family and how we will financially support all of it when I’m not working.
    –This is laughable because of course a baby will bring us joy! It is a blessing! It is what I always wanted-another baby! People support children on far less that we have financially and when I put it in this perspective my fears do seem silly.

  38. Fear that I will not be successful building out my health coaching business. I recently quit my corporate America job to pursue my dream of having my own health coaching practice and I am scared sh!tless that I will fail.

  39. 1 Fear of losing job – which I resolve with I’m working plus working 60+ hours now, have great skills and will get another job – probably better!
    2 Fear of not finding someone who I truly want to be with, who wants to be with me, has similar interests, healthy, active, wants to travel, etc. – I haven’t resolved this yet.

  40. i’m afraid of: being alone, the product i’m developing being a failure, not having the financial freedom i want, being lazy, not accomplishing enough, having an ordinary life.

  41. I am afraid that we won’t have enough money to pay our bills and get out of debt. I worry that I will never get to a healthy place with my body image, I worry that I’m not a good mother and that I’m not giving my children what they need, I worry I will never have a career that fulfills me and I worry that I dot have close like-minded friends

  42. I am afraid that I will not find a fabulous new career. That I will run out of money before I find this new career. I am afraid that I will not find authentic love from a man. What this all points to is that I do not value myself. I am practising self-love. I am ok. I am safe. I am lovable. I am looking forward to my next career.

  43. Gabby,
    This video is perfect timing for me. I have been feeling anxious all morning that a particular someone who means a lot to me is in trouble. I have no real reason to believe this. There are so many reasons that could explain why this person is doing what they’re doing, but of course, I have to choose that they are in trouble. I know it’s most likely insane and I do need to laugh at it!

  44. I am struggling with the end of a 15 year relationship and my fear is that I will not find another with the same sense of romance. The lie is that it was a superficial self-centered dance that was toxic from the beginning. I need to laugh at the false evidence appearing real that it was a relationship that was nurturing to my true self. It was SO far off, it truly is laughable. Wow, does the ego play!

  45. My biggest fear: I am in a job that I have come hate. I am fearful I can’t get out of it.

    Haaaa! As if the job is a cage! I guess, if it is, I can probably figure out how to get the door open and find a new job!

    1. Same here but i don’t have a job at this time… but you should ask people around you and the universe about a new job as u wish to have like you imagine it . During that time focus on the great money that allows you to love yourself / loved ones ( espacially holidays). Be proud of yourself for having a job, doing good and contributing to this world even if you wished for a better job.

  46. My fear of not having enough money, helping people in a meaningful way.

    It’s an insane idea:

    1. Have to be patient that 3 businesses will flourish. The lesson is to be patient. You just have to surrender control.
    2. Universe will always give you enough. You are always abundant.
    3. Scared my passion of helping people won’t give me a sustainable income. Want to become an author but do I have anything new to spread to the world.

    Thanks for always giving me inspiration Gabby. I hope to someday create my own platform of helping people on astitvaseekers.com Kudos to your amazing platform and success =)

  47. I’m fearful of rejection and/or disapproval. It’s sort of ridiculous how downtrodden I feel when I feel this coming from people. Why it matters, I don’t know. It’s this latent fear of not being good enough. Good enough for whom? Most of these people are people I don’t even like, but must deal with every now and again due to responsibilities. I find them boorish and narrow, confined by judgment and clinging to views that divide rather than unite. It really is ridiculous that it matters, I like them so much less than they disapprove of me.

  48. Gabby,
    Thanks for the vlog, as always right on cue. I am fearful of having a good relationship with my mom, that she won’t or doesn’t love me. Even though I Know she does. I also think I push her away because she almost died 12 yrs ago and I haven’t forgiven her. (Not that it was her fault she had cancer)

    How’s that for breakthrough, I just figured that out right now!
    Christiane
    Thank you & Blessings on your wedding/marriage!

  49. I am deep in financial fear, that there isn’t enough money. It gets compounded from visits to a critical parent, and it become defensive and feel small.
    I have a good job, a bright future, a pension and own my own condo with plans to buy a house with my boyfriend next fall.
    Evidence suggests I have nothing to fear!

  50. I fear not fulfilling my purpose. I am a stay at home mom and sometimes I wonder is this it? Is this my purpose? But I feel like there should be more. I guess I fear I will never know and what if I misread the signs and question my instincts? It’s something I pray for constantly. I guess I still doubt myself.

  51. My tiny mad ideas are that I will never find someone without a ton of baggage and who leads a similar healthy lifestyle similar to my own, and then I will never make enough money. I see that these both are silly because I WILL attract the perfect companion who is healthy and stable like myself, and I fully support myself (not raking the money in) but can pay my rent, eat healthily and organically, and lead a supportive lifestyle.

  52. So thank you for sharing this post and allowing me to post my fear of not having enough money, losing my home, not having a place to live & failure to live up to my fullest potential

  53. I have a fear of not having enough money. I moved to AZ to restart my life at 30 years old and focus on my business. I am in a new place with a clientele built business and I am running really low on money.

  54. This topic really hits home. I am afraid I will not be able to pay my rent this month. In fact, I know I’m not bringing in enough money. I can’t figure out how to laugh at that.
    I am talented and educated, but I’m making minimum wage working–and looking for new jobs. I’ve just been rejected from so many I’ve applied to.
    How can I laugh about finances when I’m really in a bad situation?
    Also, thanks for inspiring me 🙂

    1. Have you tried the finance chapter in MCM? It’s been profound for me & ~ing showed me I have talents & deserve to earn! All the best x

      1. I have done the finance chapter a couple times…I love it.
        I am trying my best. I know what I deserve, I just feel blocked?
        I need spirit sisters to help.
        You guys are great. Xx

  55. Hi! And congrats on your marriage! I’m afraid of dying. I really don’t know why, it just scares me… I have had panic attacks years ago because of stress but feel better now but sometimes death comes and scares me and makes me paralyzed. Want to feel peace and calm and not be afraid anymore.

    Jen from Sweden

  56. Gabby –

    This was awesome!! You are such an outstanding resource. I have always been told that you get what you need, when you need it. I did do your entire Course in Miracles in January of 2013 and I have had huge shifts come my way – mainly because I took action and did this stuff.

    I still struggle with two major issues: (1) Having been single for over 10 years now, I am afraid that I won’t find someone to love me and (2) I am fearful of not being able to build my new house.

    I will work hard to laugh at these, because I know that when I’m not afraid I can accomplish so much.

    Thank youf or the reminder(s). You were such a gorgeous bride and what a most handsome man you married. WOW. You are so blessed and I believe that a great guy is coming my way. Be well, Gabby, and thank you, again, for sharing.

  57. 4 years ago, I went to the hospital with horrible abdominal pains and had the awful idea to drive myself instead of calling the ambulance. I got caught in traffic with level 9 pains, very traumatic.

    I’m always scared when I feel a pain in my abdomen and feel the need to locate a hospital quickly just in case. I have travel anxiety because what if I can’t get to a hospital or get help quickly?

    I need to let this fear go.

  58. I call it the spins! I get obsessed with thinking something negative and then I just keep running with the idea! It’s awful. Recently I have been obsessing about something going wrong in my relationship and my partner not being as in love w me as he was last week or my not feeling in love every minute of the day so telling myself something must be wrong !
    When I look at these thoughts I see very clearly that I have absolutely nothing to base them on. I have been so used to things not working out or being abandoned by loved ones that I can’t relax and enjoy this wondrous time that I have worked so hard to get to but instead anticipate how and when the other show will drop!
    I deserve happiness and I finally know it so am def going to use this technique a lot to ground myself and dismiss the insanity!!!!
    Thanks Gabby and congrats! Xx

  59. Hi Gabby,

    I have a deep fear of not being good enough. That no matter how much love I put into my songs, no one will really want to listen or buy my CD except for my family and friends. The tears are welling up and I’m not sure I can laugh at this yet or look at it as insane.

    Lori

  60. Scared I don’t love this guy I am having a baby with. Scared I don’t know,what love feels like and that if I give up this guy and this baby through termination that I will not find anyone else.

  61. Dear Gabby, thank you for your post. I’ve been walking my dog and stressing myself with thoughts of not having enough money (although I just got the book “Money a love story” from the wonderful Kate Northrup), with fear of not being strong enough to set healthy boundries with my family and not being good enough (more smart) to finish my studies. Tiny mad ideas? Oh yes!!! I am going to dinner with my friend and will fully enjoy the time with him. We both deserve my full attention.
    I finally moved towards your guided meditations. Just when I needed it, I found your Forgiveness meditation. Very powerful. It helps to hear your voice while going through such a powerful process. Thank you for that.

    Girl talk: You look beautiful. You always did, but now you are full of light. It’s very empowering to see you grow. Best wishes for your marriage.

    Coffee: I am two days of it.

    Thanks.

  62. Firstly, I want to say Mazel Tov again on your wedding…Right now my biggest fear is not being successful in my jewelry business. I make decopauge cuffs & they are really beautiful & made with love. I have been afraid to do shows or market them the way I should because I’m so scared that I won’t sell any…I need to get over this fear & would appreciate any advice…
    Blessings,
    Marie

    1. Dear Marie,

      do you know Marie Forleo? Nice name coincidence. She is great at giving marketing advice to women like you. Her posts are always inspirational for me.

      All the best.

  63. I am afraid of not having enough money…i’m thinking about leaving my job because i don’t feel it’s offering me the space i need to grow…and i really want to find something that i love doing…i want to experience the “work is fun” concept but keep thinking i won’t make it on my owm without this income.

    Congratulations on your beautiful wedding and thank you for all this wonderful tools you’re sharing with us!

  64. Mine is not a fear, but what is staring me right in the face today. I quit my job last spring, because my soul was screaming at me to get out and create something totally new — and to rest for a while. Being in the job, I was miserable, getting sick frequently, and my kids were suffering from feeling chaotic all the time. For two years I have worked at listening to my heart, laughing at the ego, releasing releasing releasing. I entered this Journey filled with Joy and Love and NO worries about how I was going to manifest opportunities for income that suited me and my family, and NO worries about how I was going to support my three children and myself (single mom here). Today I have a negative balance in my checking account. Haven’t yet paid this month’s rent, now 13 days past due. I created a viable business and have more opportunities flowing to me. And today I’m experiencing financial poverty. Having a really hard time laughing at that one, or knowing what even to do next.

  65. My fear is based around an event I was supposed to have posted and promoted last week. I have so much anxiety about speaking in front of groups! I’m afraid the women that come will not resonate with my message or that I will have a hard time handling all of the energy coming at me at once. I have a lot of fire and a big voice but fear is winning lately. <3

  66. I have the opportunity to do what I love to do in my career, on my own. I have several fears that accompany this new venture. First is the fear that I won’t be taken seriously. I also fear that I will start it and then something will happen financially or health-wise to derail my plan and I will look like a flake. And lastly, I fear the unknown. How will I make money while I am in the start-up phase? I will have to do freelance work on the side which will split my focus…another fear. But I am ready to take the leap and if I fall, at least I will hope for a soft landing.

  67. Hi Gabrielle,

    Thank you for all of your beautiful messages and videos. I read your work and watch your videos all the time and they consistently provide me with clarity, lessons, and inspiration.

    The biggest fear that I have identified that is in my life now is the fear of failure. Now that I am looking at it, I can almost laugh about it. I have been absolutely terrified of the fear of failure. For the past 10 years, I have worked very hard at my goals of being an artist. And now I am applying to a MFA program for painting and working on my portfolio and applications now. I am working to find my voice as an artist and the deadlines are several months away. I am so scared of rejection! I feel like I have cried just about every day for the past several months because I want to get accepted so very badly, and I am so scared of failing.

    Just saying all of this right now helps me to see that I am going in the natural progression of my life and the goal is always to be a better artist, which I can do at any given moment right now. All the applications want to see if who I really am right now, which is a joyful thing. Yay, I get to be myself.

    I am going to keep working on this. Thank you very much for your video! This is helping. 🙂

    Sincerely,

    Fotini Christophillis

  68. scared of not having enough money, big time! In between jobs, scared I won’t be able to manifest my perfect career and scared I won’t be able to create a lifestyle where I can travel freely between US and Ireland. Also scared of health fears – as always, underlying due to phobia.

    1. Ellen–I come from a long line of Irish hypochondriacs and it can be debilitating at times, so I truly feel for you and understand. What I have learned over the years, is that it can be easier for us to put our focus on our health (as a control mechanism) rather than what is REALLY bothering us. My health phobia truly gets out of control when I am feeling most of out of control. Please email me any time if you need to vent to a fellow sufferer. Good luck with your job search and I will keep you in my prayers! Lori

      1. gosh Lori, thanks so much, usually those I talk to have real trouble relating, I am nearly 4o now and this has been going on since my early 2o’s. man. I hear you though in that if I look back there is usually a reason why it surfaces when it does, I would love to be in touch, let me know how i can mail you, thanks so much for your comment. xx

      2. Thank you Lori,

        I have also noticed that my health fears come up, as the other parts of my life change or become less stable. I have also noticed recently that the more things go right. My wonderful husband, my healthy kids (I am a pediatric nurse), my job …, the more I freak out that something aka my health will go wrong. Thanks for sharing! Hugs xxx

        1. Sharon & Ellen!!! You guys are SO not alone and please email me whenever you afraid. I am 48 and have been going through this for over 30 years in some form, but it really kicked in, FOR REAL, when my son was born 15 years ago. The hormones went crazy and it was in my genes. I also learned how to deal with problems this way by watching my mother deal with her problems by focusing on her health. I am sure you can relate. My email is dolphn1@sbcglobal.net and please don’t hesitate to email me when you are afraid–you don’t need to suffer alone which is exactly how we feel in the middle of one of these “episodes”. They are tough, but we are tougher! Big hugs to you both!!!!! Lori

  69. congrats on your marriage! I really enjoyed looking at all your pictures. As far as fear goes – i’m not afraid of anything, because I know if something comes up I will deal wtih it then and I don’t spend my time thinking about what could happen.

  70. I am afraid that I moved to the wrong place this past weekend, I am afraid I am going to loose my job and I am tired of being single!

    1. I know exactly how you feel with all three of you fears. I am trying to laugh it off by reminding myself that I care about my work and it is making a difference in the world. As far as being single sometimes being able to handle difficulties on our own makes us better prepared for the relationship the universe has in store for us.

  71. Gabby –
    I am always worrying that my boyfriend is cheating on me. He has a TON of female friends but, I have never seen/felt signs that he would ever do that to me. My self-esteem tends to tell me that I’m not good enough which typically leads me down the path to then feel that my boyfriend would cheat. It’s hard to laugh at but, when I am really seeing clearly, it’s easier to see that he wouldn’t do that to me. How do I make that feeling stronger so I don’t get that pang every time he gets a text or call from one of his female friends?

    1. Hey Carly,
      You are so brave to admit you feel this way. I’m sure there are plenty of women out there that are also in the same boat as you. For me when I get these kinds of feelings I then know it’s time to work on myself and gift myself with love. I exercise, eat healthy, do things that make me happy and talk about it to my boyfriend.

      The rubbish thing is that when we don’t feel that we are good enough then the other person in the relationship picks up on it and may act differently and seek attention elsewhere. You’ve got to totally love yourself and go confidently in the direction of your dreams. There is nothing more appealing than someone who knows what they want, is confident, healthy and loves them self.

  72. Gabby,
    It’s crazy that you posted this at the time that you did. Just last week I was experiencing some funky stuff and my inner voice loudly told me to laugh at the ego’s tiny mad idea. Even though I have read your novels and heard your lectures, I can’t believe my inner voice directed me to this passage. And here you are speaking about it! Synchronicity at it’s finest.

    When I received your book in January, my ego was too loud and I was afraid to get started. Yesterday it became really clear to me that I needed to start this 40 day journey. I am day one and I feel great already!

    By the way, you looked gorgeous in the wedding pictures!

    -Meghan

  73. My greatest fear right now is this: I abandoned a life of security and stability. I abandoned my ex-husband and I regret it deeply. My fear right now is that I’ll never get a chance to right my wrongs and that I’ll never get a chance to show him how much I truly love him and his family. I also fear that if he moves further away from me that I will miss out on an opportunity to love him again, as friends. I’m afraid that he hates me and harbors resentment. But this is crazy because he still loves me and we have a great relationship now and he has been willing to move through the pain to forgive me.

    1. Kim,

      I just have to respond to your comment. Last September (2012) I told my husband of 10 years that I wanted a divorce. I have been in love with this man since I was 18 (now 42) but, apparently, my love for him wasn’t enough. He didn’t love himself. He was depressed, distant, angry with the universe. Certainly NOT the man I met and married. We went to counseling, but the hurt was so deep healing felt impossible. We even sold our wedding rings to pay for the lawyer fees. I thought we were over. For good.

      Fast forward one year and life couldn’t be better. Somehow the Universe managed to bring us back together and we are making plans for our future. We are back in counseling and moving our family forward daily. Our hearts are open and receptive to love and joy and it feels so freakin’ good!!!! But we had to move THROUGH the crap to get OVER it. In the process, I learned a few things: 1) Never settle. Ever. 2) Never say never. You never know what the Universe has in store. 3) Trust your inner voice. It never lies. 4) Choose joy. 5) Expect miracles.

      Hang in there, girl!

  74. I have a few of being successful. As I transition out of my photography business (which has been very successful) and into health coaching, I am deeply fearful of being successful. A few people have said that it almost sounds cocky, but it isn’t a feeling of being cocky. It is a feeling of actually getting what I am want, being a success and then striving to maintain my success.

    1. I have a fear of being successful. As I transition out of my photography business (which has been very successful) and into health coaching, I am deeply fearful of being successful. A few people have said that it almost sounds cocky, but it isn’t a feeling of being cocky. It is a feeling of actually getting what I am want, being a success and then striving to maintain my success.

      1. Hi Amy… I completely understand what you are saying and I don’t think it is cocky at all, in fact it’s just fear getting in the way. You said that you had a successful photography business… well now you are leaving that safe and comfortable environment, it is what you know, into something new which will bring with it different challenges and experiences, how exciting! I have let fear get the better of me and it has crippled me – I have hidden myself and my skills and talents… but no more! So good luck on your new adventure! embrace what you love and enjoy the successes along the way!

  75. First of all congratulations Gaby,and thank you for sharing your wedding with us,I love all the pictures and facebook posts. 🙂
    This is so funny,this video. Because just this morning i was devastated because my poems had not been received well on this website i post them to,and i emailed my friend,who started to seriously try to console me. And i wrote back to him,no,this feels wrong,please lets just laugh about this. Let’s make this funny,because it is not important,this is just my vanity being hurt… And voila,this video confirms this for me today 🙂 Thank you Gaby,i enjoy your lessons and guidance greatly. With much love, Anne <3 xox

    1. Oh Ashley, that has been my fear for years. I have been actively working through the fear, (May Cause Miracles has helped tremendously) and I’m now beginning to get in touch with my love again! You can tear down the walls you’ve put up, it’s subtle work, but it’s so worth it! Have faith that you haven’t lost your love. It’s always with you!

  76. My dog just passed away and last week I just lost my job.
    My husband only works part time. My fear of not having money torments me. How do I laugh about this and release the fear?

    1. I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry about your loss. As an animal lover I see them as members of our families and in having lost various animals in my life, I identify with your pain. In case it can help you I wanted to let you know about various Grief Recovery support groups that are free and most likely in your area. I am not just recommending I have been to a couple as well and I found them helpful. I believe you can google “grief recovery support groups”

      As a person that helps people in my day job find work I would like to encourage you to utilize http://www.linkedin.com, http://www.facebook.com and even http://www.twitter.com to conduct an effective job search. You can go to youtube to find out about how to use these forms of social media in relation to job search.

      My heart is with you and YOU are in my thoughts and I am sending you love, richness and an over abundance of blessings to you and your family.

      I think in time you will be able to do this exercise. There is a time for everything and this just may not be he time.
      HUGS! (Health, Understanding, Gratitude and Success)

    2. Hi Beth,
      Two big losses, that’s tough. I believe grief is in order. One for the loss of your dog and the other, for the loss of your job that can either send us into major depression or major panic or both. Laughter is a great medicine but total regrouping first in the form of breathing, crying, breathing, crying, praying, meditating, praying, breathing–(I’m not really endorsing the order except to keep breathing deeply) will help the calming and recentering of your spirit. This is not easy to do when you may be conditioned to going into panic and fear mode in how you cope with situations…as the way the majority of us do. I am no different from you and loss is economics is real in our heads. But I’ve also found that after the calm, my mind is freer from the clutter, the noise, the doubts, the fears and I am able to think more clearly and comprehensively. When you also access the Universe by opening your heart and trust that it is always waiting for you to ask what it already has in store for you (and they’re BIG, ABUNDANT AND BETTER!!!) , you will increasingly feel more at ease and eventually, laughter will follow. You will live through this and come out better on the other side! There’s a saying that this temporary setback is only to serve you have a major comeback. Stay in faith, believe, and laugh in due time.

    3. Hi Beth,
      Two big losses, that’s tough. I believe grief is in order. One for the loss of your dog and the other, for the loss of your job that can either send any of us into major depression or major panic or both. Laughter is great medicine but total regrouping first after losses in the form of breathing, crying, breathing, crying, praying, meditating, praying, breathing–(I’m not really endorsing the order except to keep breathing deeply) will help the calming and re-centering of your spirit. This is not easy to do when you may be conditioned to going into panic and fear mode in how you cope with situations…as the way the majority of us do. I am no different from you and loss in economics is real in our heads and impacts our lives. But I’ve also found that after the calm, my mind is freer from the clutter, the noise, the doubts, the fears and I am able to think more clearly and comprehensively. Then I am able to take a rationale course of action. When you also access the Universe by opening your heart and trust that it is always waiting for you to ask what it already has in store for you (and they’re BIG, ABUNDANT AND BETTER!!!) , you will increasingly feel more at ease and eventually, laughter will follow. When your thoughts and belief are kept in alignment, and you stay in faith, all will fall into place. You will live through this and come out better on the other side! There’s a saying that this temporary setback is only to serve you have a major comeback. Believe, and you will laugh in due time.

    4. Beth…my dog also just passed away and I am heartbroken. I try to remember all of the silly things she used to do…I can laugh at that! Thinking of you.

    5. I’m sorry about your dog. The work here is to stay connected to what feels good. When you’re in a positive energy you attract more into your life. focus on what you do have and you’ll create more of what you want.

    1. Can you trust yourself to be fine, to work at your job and be diligent, conscientious for only one hour at a time? At night be grateful for what you’ve accomplished. In the morning remind yourself that you only have to live one hour at a time today for the next 8 hours. That’s all that’s ever required of us, a few hours, a few minutes, a few moments at a time. Anxiety looks towards the future with fear imagining all the things that could go wrong. But the future doesn’t exist. Ask, What is mine to do today? Do that……and only that. Stay in today and trust that you are there by right. You have every right to be where you are and those who hired you realized that. You are fine just as you are and where you are. Trust that. xo

    2. I feel for you as I am feeling the same too. I have gone out of my comfort zone and I am fearing “what if I can’t pull this off”? I only get paid if I make sales. I want to be successful, I NEED to be successful…so much pressure to take care of my and my child. I am trying to laugh…but I am afraid!

      1. You can and you will. You have a child to teach that once you believe, you can achieve. I have 3 daughters and I quit a lucrative job with benefits to chase a dream of owning my own business and my girls are more proud of me than ever (even though Christmas was lean this year) ha! I know its easy to let fear run shotgun b/c I struggle with the what-ifs myself from time to time. I will keep you in my thoughts. Good luck!!

    3. I know how you feel Monica. I have been there too when I started a whole new career.
      I found just focusing on what I loved about the job everyday drew me into ideas and ways of doing my job well. Think about why you love the job as you are doing it and fear will subside. I always strive to be humble at work, it keeps me learning and getting better and that keeps me confident.
      All the best,

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