Focus on the Good Stuff When You Collaborate with Other People on Projects

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Note: Updated in July 2018 for clarity and additional resources.

Working with others can be a lot of fun, but it can also be your chief source of stress. Most of us were never taught the art of healthy collaboration. As a result, working with other people on projects can be tricky.

Every collaboration is different

In any collaboration you’re dealing with different personalities and energy. When your energy doesn’t flow with someone else’s, completing even basic tasks can be a massive struggle.

I’ve collaborated with many different people. I collaborate with agents, assistants, family members, friends and clients. Sometimes the relationships seem to flow naturally. But in other situations it’s been tedious and frustrating.

How to collaborate on work projects

I’m committed to a peaceful and joyous life. So I came up with my best practice for collaborating with other people on projects!

This tip applies to work projects as well as projects in your personal life. In the video I share a story about working with a contractor on my home, for example.

If you struggle to get along with the people you collaborate with, then watch this video or keep reading for my guidance!

Focus on the good stuff when you collaborate

One day recently, my husband and I were going through a long list of things that we needed to do. We’d just bought a new home, which is a tremendous blessing. But when you buy a home it comes with a lot of things you need to do.

We were collaborating with a contractor on some projects. We started to get overwhelmed with the projects, saying things like, “We have to do this, and that, and this. We can’t forget this other thing. Oh my God, there’s so much to do. The contractor isn’t doing it fast enough.”

If you’ve ever moved or done construction, you are familiar with this. We were stuck in a negative story and a low-vibe conversation. One night I was going to bed and I felt myself reaching a breaking point. I was like, “I feel crazy.”

Energy flows where my intention goes | Gabby Bernstein | The Universe Has Your Back card deckI sat up in bed and said to my husband, “Listen, we have to stop. We have to choose higher-vibe thoughts. We have to use words that are empowering. If we speak poorly about the contractor not showing up, he’s not going to show up. If we send energy to the house that’s negative, we will have negative experiences in the house.”

I reminded him of a core spiritual lesson: Focus on the good stuff. We made a commitment together. We said, “Together we are going to focus on the good stuff. We are going to remind one another when we go to the negative place that we need to come back and stay on that path of positive thoughts.”

It’s working. Things are changing. The contractors are showing up and things are in motion. We’re focusing on the good stuff and enjoying the collaboration!

Focusing on the good stuff is a big part of ensuring you follow through on your projects.

Bring others into your positive practice

My joy empowers others to be joyful too | Spirit Junkie appThe world is going to reflect back to you what you say, what you think and the vibes that you put out. When you’re collaborating with other people, this positive practice isn’t just about you. You must bring your collaborators into the practice.

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a loved one, a coworker, a friend or even your child. Bring them in and focus on the good stuff together! You’ll experience a lot of shifts when you truly collaborate.

Are you collaborating with someone who doesn’t resonate with spiritual language? In that case, just shift the words you use. Instead of talking about high-vibe thoughts or manifesting, talk about focusing on the good stuff. Talk about positivity. Emphasize that you want the project to be enjoyable for everyone.

Even if you simply shift your energy, other people will feel it. They’ll feel your energy change, and it’ll raise their energy too. Lean toward joy and invite them to join you. This is the key to having healthy, happy collaborations.

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68 COMMENTS

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  1. Thanks Gabby
    What if your partner is less convinced about his impact on the world around him. I tell him, he is messing with my Karma when he is negative. How can I work with my life partner to convince him that his positive behaviors impact others, especially me.

  2. gabby thank you so much for your videos they are amazing and has help me a lot with my growing. i have a really important question to ask you. when i am always talking and i think is been for too long, i always ask the personn a im talking with if i am talking too much if i should stop. is there anything i can do for this? how can i help myself?

    love

    marcela

  3. Hi Gabby!

    Just wanted to let you know that I get so excited when I receive an email from you! ( seriously do!) This has really helped me a lot this week. I’m applying for my articling positions at various law firms this year, and I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. So I’m putting more positive vibes out there and it’s paying off.

    Maybe you could post a video on how to deal with perfectionism, and learning that it’s ok not to ‘be’ perfect.

    You inspire me!
    Ali
    xx

  4. Hi Gabby!

    I’m wondering if you have any guidance on how to deal with others who have fundamentally different views on race, homosexuality, religion, etc?

    My boyfriend has some new friends whom I am trying so hard to get along with but it just isn’t working. At first I let their homophobic racist comments slide but it was eating me up inside. The next few times I finally spoke my mind. I thought I would feel better and hoped to make a difference but it totally backfired. Ironically, I feel like the marginalized one. I come off as a villain. My boyfriend says to ignore it and not feed into, but I feel like silence means acceptance. These new friends are his neighbours so they are always around. I can’t really escape them. I have so much anxiety around the situation it literally makes me feel ill to go there. It’s taking me to some crazy places mentally and emotionally, sometimes it’s all I can think about.

    I want to be positive and spread love. How do I show love and respect but stand up for others and my beliefs at the same time? I’ve been trying to focus on their positives and trying to see myself in them but I have to admit, it’s really, really hard.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!
    Krissy

  5. I love all that you share with us and teach us, I’ve made some of the biggest decisions of my life this year and your guidance made the changes bearable 🙂 I picked up one of your cards today and it read: I pray before I pay…. I think I get it but I’m not entirely sure what it means….

  6. What is your advice for turning a negative into a positive with an employee that you don’t think is working out? I can hear the negative thoughts in my head and I feel the negative energy I put out, but their poor performance is driving me crazy. I don’t want to add to the chaos, but I feel as though I would be reinforcing their poor behaviour by ignoring the issues at hand.

  7. Hi Gabby, totally different topic, I just had one of those moments which I will remember for the rest of my life,
    I’m so scared of being loved! That’s where my block is! I dont let anyone love me. People who love me makes me nervous, annoyed, almost upset.
    I want to allow other people to love me. I will start my journey to love myself completely.

  8. This resonated with me as I was irate about my routine, and my busy commute to the city, my high stress ad agency job, and the negative vibes followed me everywhere until my neighbor who was in shock that I wasn’t my usual uplifting happy self asked me what was wrong and my bestie and biz partner asked me if all was ok with us and I snapped out of it realizing I need to be the change/be the light in order to receive that same energy. Sometimes as a human we almost victimize ourselves asking when change will come or if services you paid for will get done quicker, moping about in the “Oh me” space, but we are all mirrors and what we give we receive, so we must stay positive and change our frequency to experience a beautiful flow of energy. Thank you for the reminder! ????????

  9. Gah! this is THE thing I needed to see!!! I soaked up this video Gabby and going to make the shift. In the middle of some crazy times (coming at me both sides- work and life). I allowed someone else’s beliefs become my own and in turn my reality. A few weeks ago my new boss told me to”plan for the worst, everything and anything will go wrong.” And guess what. It has.
    Diving in. A few more weeks of probable choppy waters. Lets experiment: can my shift in thinking and beliefs be reframed to: miraculous miracles of smooth sailing?

  10. Good morning lovely Gabby! I prayed for guidance this morning on my way into work and PING!… your video came through 🙂 My husband and I bought our dream home 4 years ago and now face the threat of resumption (ie the council may demolish our home for road widening development) last night the mood at home was palpably sooooo low I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. We have invested so much time, money and hard work into restoring our beautiful home this prospect is heart-breaking. We’re lucky in that we never argue and communicate very well and openly discussed this issue but convincing my man the Universe has our back and we must choose to see a positive outcome to this potential threat proved tricky… I could see his ego/fear having a field day with his sense of reason. We have only just embarked on our spiritual journey (about 6 weeks) via your books and guidance Gabby and I have to say it has been profoundly life changing for both of us however this has really sent my husband into a spiral of negative szhoo-szhoo!…the brilliant thing is he is very much aware of his feelings and is witnessing his thoughts in reaction to this news but is having difficulty comforting himself with forgiveness and faith that the Universe has his back… but I know it will come with time. I am going to show this video to him tonight. Thank you so, so, so much for all your marvelous and amazing work. Cheerio. Dee (and Desi) 🙂

  11. Wow!!! Thank you so much for this incredible post, it couldn’t be more timely. I just moved in with my boyfriend into a house he use to share with his wife of 15 years. I’m having a very difficult time with some toxic feelings such as insecurity and inferiority. What advice do you have on helping to make this my home where I feel safe despite the possible energy from his past that may still be lingering? Thank you so much for your reply I’m really struggling over here. Plus I have moved away to another state so my usual support is not available.

  12. Thank you so much for this I really needed to hear this today. We had to take in our car today to get it fixed for one thing and naturally it had another thing wrong with it; very costly. Both my husband and I started to freak out about the amount. Then our son said Mom we are very lucky that we got it fixed and no one got in an accident. He made me stop and put things in a different perspective. So I turned my attitude around and I AM very grateful that no one was hurt and we had the money to pay for it. I AM also grateful for my son’s wisdom and insight.

  13. Love it! But I have a question: how do you present this to a partner, in the form of a loved one, who is not so into the “spiritual stuff”. I want to be the lighthouse, not push this things onto them.

  14. Love it! But I have a question: how do you present this to a partner, in the form of a loved one, who is not so into the “spiritual stuff”. I want to be the lighthouse, not push this thoughts.

  15. Thank you! I practice this often with my own thoughts, but now want to set the intention to bring these positive vibes into my conversations with my son and husband. It’s so inspiring to think of the miraculous shifts that may occur!

  16. I am a custom home builder. I’m going to play your recording to all my new clients and hopefully they will understand always focusing on the negative will only bring more of it!! <3

  17. Hey Gab!
    Thanks for this. Timely, of course.
    My hubby is very supportive of my spiritual work and he is on his own which looks very different than mine (all good). I pray and hold space for love + peace every morning. However, he often sees the world through limitation and when I mention that we could choose to see a situation differently, he says that I’m trying to change him into person that he is not. I’ve been on this journey for 6+ years so I know that prayer, non-judgement and expecting miracles are part of the work, and they have been many times over. It’s something that is more prevalent lately though.. I shall look within myself to see where I am contributing but I’d love your insight as well : )
    Love + Light, Darling.

  18. Hi Gabby, thank you for covering this topic! I could use some guidance in this area. I’ve tried to bring my boyfriend into the practice – especially when it comes to conflict resolution – but he’s just in a different place. I can accept where he is but it’s harming our relationship. He is easily agitated and angered (by trivial things) and tends to project blame on others. I’m in fact seeking couple’s counselling. If you have any additional tips, I would appreciate them! Take care and best of luck with the house! It’s a big job.

    1. Hi Bella,

      I’m in the same situation! And also need advice on it. Lately I’ve just been shifting it back to my experience ‘I feel X and would rather Y’ etc. rather than assigning blame. But it’s hard! Also I just don’t listen or join in on the complaints, but without giving a lecture about it. I just withdraw my energy when that starts happening.
      Hope that helps! Xx Ally

    2. your work is to fully accept where he is. it may not be aligned with where you are at and you may be guided to move on. but acceptance will clear the path

  19. Hey Gabby, love this post, and so timely for me on so many levels (feels kind of miraculous, actually!). And, as someone who tries to come from a “glass half full ” and strengths or asset based approach, also resonates deeply. But, I have a question for you; namely, isn’t it sometimes a case of “start from the positive, and then add as might be required?” In other words, in some cases, you simply shifting your focus and approach might be all that is necessary; in other cases, you might still need to speak to the contractors, but doing so from a positive place would help that conversation to get to a positive and productive outcome much more quickly and happily? Thk u!

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