I originally wrote this blog post in spring 2019, when I started my recovery from postpartum anxiety and depression. Now that I’m several months into my recovery, I want to update this post with another tip.
I’ve been strengthening my own resilience, and in this post I’m sharing my practices with you. Here are 7 spiritual and practical tips for how to be more resilient. I hope they serve you.
What is resilience?
Resilience is our ability to recover from difficult situations and adapt to change. We often talk about “bouncing back” — that is resilience.
When you think of how to be more resilient, picture a reed: It’s strong, but it’s also flexible. It doesn’t resist the wind and the wind doesn’t break it. The reed moves with the wind.
I’ve been building my resilience
In May 2019 I was presented with my own spiritual assignment on resilience. That month I finally became willing to accept that I’d been suffering with postpartum anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks.
Since I embarked on my recovery, I’ve been talking openly about my experiences on Instagram, in my live events and in podcast interviews. I’ll continue to talk about postpartum anxiety and depression because it’s so important to me to lift the stigma around mental illness and give voice to unspoken shame.
There’s a lot more I have to say on these topics. But in this post I want to focus on resilience, giving you spiritual and practical tips you can use to be more resilient in all areas of life.
7 ways to be more resilient
These spiritual and practical tools will help you to strengthen your resilience so that you can show up for your life with grace and faith no matter what.
I turn to these tools every single day, and they me stay strong and nurture myself as I continue my recovery and embark on new adventures.
1. Rely on a higher power.
When you don’t know how you’re going to get through something, the answer is to give it over to a higher power of your own understanding.
Turning it over takes the burden off you to figure it all out. Healing requires our willingness to heal. When we’re willing to surrender, an invisible strength takes over and we are guided. We open up to inspired solutions and support.
Prayer for resilience
You can say this prayer as often as you want in order to surrender, welcome guidance and build resilience.
Thank you, inner guide, for revealing to me what I still need to heal. I accept this as a spiritual assignment for great growth. I am committed to my healing path and my highest priority is to align with love. I take this one day at a time and I know I’m getting better every day. I choose to keep this in the day. I do not regret my past and I am not afraid of the future. I trust that the present moment offers me resilience now.
Pay attention to the guidance you receive
Once you’ve surrendered it, pay attention to the ways that God shows up for you. I know I say this a lot, but it bears repeating because we can forget to pay attention.
Spiritual guidance can show up in any number of ways…
- You may feel an inner knowing or hear an intuitive voice.
- An idea may come through while meditating, or seemingly out of the blue.
- You might experience synchronicity, such as unexpectedly hearing a song that is meaningful to you or reading a passage in a book that seems to speak directly to you.
- You may even see sparks of light or feel a rush of love.
I encourage you to write down all the instances of guidance you receive. Use the Notes app on your phone or keep a pocket notebook with you. When you ask for guidance, you will receive it. Don’t dismiss anything.
2. Change your story.
At first, the story I told myself around my postpartum anxiety was, “I’m the victim.” I was devastated that this was my experience, and I was plagued by panic and exhaustion.
Telling myself this story only made me feel disempowered. So I changed my story. I committed to shifting my perception of myself from victim to brave warrior. I’m proud of my willingness to witness the problem and choose love instead.
In May 2019 I changed my story from “I’m the victim” to “I’m getting better every day.”
3. Honor your feelings with meditation.
Meditation is a safe way to honor your feelings, move through them and feel more balanced. I recommend meditating at least once every day. A consistent, committed practice cleans up your energy and helps you to be more resilient.
One meditation I’ve been practicing lately is the Kundalini Meditation for Balancing the Nervous Energies. This is a beautiful practice for calming anxiety and balancing your nervous system.
Kundalini Meditation for Balancing the Nervous Energies
Here’s the breakdown of the meditation.
Posture: Sit in Easy Pose or another comfortable position, with your spine straight.
Mudra (hand position): Bend your elbows and put the palm of your right hand over the back of your left hand. Touch the tips of your thumbs. Move your arms in so that your palms are at heart center. (See the image of me as an example.)
Eyes: Close your eyes or keep them 1/10th open.
Breath: In this meditation you inhale and exhale through your nose. Begin by inhaling deeply through your nose. Calmly hold your breath for 15 seconds. Exhale through your nose. Hold your breath for another 15 seconds.
If 15 seconds is too much for you, you can begin with holding your breath for 8 seconds and then work your way up.
Repeat this breath cycle for 3 to 5 minutes.
Let me help you stay consistent with your meditation practice
Consistency is key in building resilience. When you have a strong spiritual practice, including a regular meditation practice, you’re equipped with resources to help you move through trying times with more peace.
If you want a simple way to stay consistent on your spiritual path, check out my Miracle Membership. Every month I give you brand-new content, including a guided meditation.
Here are a few practices available in the Miracle Membership that can help you be more resilient:
- Tapping on Anxiety with Nick Ortner (Apr. 2018)
- Happiness Is a Choice I Make podcast (Apr. 2016)
- Gratitude Meditation (May 2019)
- I Am Truly Supported Meditation (Sept. 2016)
- Peace Is My Path podcast (July 2017)
- Judgment Detox Workshop lecture (Jan. 2018)
- Honoring Yourself Meditation (Nov. 2019)
4. Don’t talk about the problem, talk about the solution.
Many of us, when we’re going through something really hard, we talk about it a lot. We obsess over it. We go down Google rabbit holes and find even more to talk about and obsess over. It’s a nasty cycle.
What happens when we talk about the problem constantly is that we give it more momentum. As I teach in Super Attractor, what you focus on is what you create. When you think and talk about the problem 24/7, you lower your energetic vibration. As a result, you become an energetic match for more experiences of that same low vibration.
But when you begin to focus on the solution, you shift the momentum. You begin raising your vibration bit by bit, and you start to attract solutions. The solutions might come in the form of doctors or therapists. They might show up as creative ideas or new perspectives. The possibilities are limitless.
The bottom line is this: If you need to vent, vent. But don’t vent all day. Move on and give momentum to the new story.
Build resilience with Emotional Freedom Technique
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is one of my favorite practices. It’s the divine combination of acupressure, positive psychology and neuroscience, and it can deliver fast results.
If you want to be more resilient, try EFT. You can do it every day, and multiple times a day if you wish.
Here’s a wonderful EFT video on healing by Brad Yates:
And here’s another EFT video by Brad Yates that can help you be more adaptable and resilient in everyday life:
Note: EFT can bring unexpected emotions to the surface, so practice with caution. Remember to take full responsibility for your well-being. If you don’t find relief right away, you can keep tapping until you do.
Be conscious about who you talk to
One other thing I want to note is that it’s important to be careful about who you lean on while you’re going through something really challenging. Is there someone in your life who cares about you in such a way that they get really nervous and scared when you’re not well?
Maybe this is the case with a parent, your romantic partner or a dear friend. They want to support you, but their connection to you is so strong or their own fears are so raw that they end up making you feel even more worried. That’s not going to help you.
Remember that you’re very impressionable when you’re healing. Protect your energy.
As much as you love them, remember that you’re very impressionable when you’re trying to heal. Be gentle yet firm with your boundaries. Have compassion for them, but lean on someone else instead, whether that’s a friend, a sibling, a therapist, etc.
With people who aren’t in a good position to help you, what you can do is stay in your mantra. You can tell them something like, “Things are hard, but I have help and I’m getting better every day.”
5. Get moving.
This is key. Exercise not only builds physical strength and endurance, but it also makes the brain more resilient to stress, according to Princeton researchers.
And let’s not forget that moving our body feels good! Move in whatever way feels good to you. I’ve been going on walks with my family, because being outdoors energizes me, grounds me and clears my mind.
There’s a lot of research on the ways exercise reduces stress and helps us relax. Your workout doesn’t need to be intense or complicated to have a massive impact on your resilience and mood. Just move.
6. Remember that you can still be healing and have a good day
I saved this tip for last because I want you to walk away with it fresh in your mind. This is something we all too often forget. You can be going through something hard, you can be healing, you can be in the midst of recovery, and you can have a good day.
I often tell people: String together your moments of joy. When you feel good, allow yourself to feel good. Life is never 100% anything, good or bad. You may be going through a really, really hard spiritual assignment, but still experience glimmers of hope, gratitude, humor and happiness. It’s safe and good to feel good.
7. Celebrate your resilience!
2019 was a big year for me. I became a new mom and launched a book, and in the midst of all that greatness I experienced one of the darkest moments of my life.
What I learned is this: Sometimes the great stuff can coexist with the tough stuff.
I celebrate my resilience.
Now I can look back and see how my darkest struggle this year was the catalyst for my greatest transformation. I forgive my experience and release it. And best of all, I celebrate my resilience.
The best way to clear out any negativity from the past is to honor your experience and celebrate your resilience.
If you’ve recently been through a difficult time, take a moment to reflect in your journal. Answer these two questions:
- What did I learn from the tough stuff this past month/few months/year?
- How can I celebrate my resilience?
Reframe your difficult experiences so that you can clear the way for all you want to create.
I’ll leave you with this quote from my dear friend and teacher, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer:
Each experience in your life was absolutely necessary in order to have gotten you to the next place, and the next place, up to this very moment.
Spirit Junkies, I hope these tips serve you. Leave a comment below and let me know how these practices resonate with you.